Athletico Mince - Ep.3 - Chickens

Episode Date: March 22, 2016

Foam products, ocelots, a catchphrase origin tale, the Gambian D-League, but mainly chickens. Chickens. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Alright, Bob. Yeah, nice to see you again, Andy, I think. Fair enough. Here we are. It's episode three of Athletical Minns. Yep. The football podcast that contains over 8%.

Yeah. Football content. Yep. That's what the people want, doesn't it? That seems to be what the people want. Yeah, what have we got this week coming up? Well, just first of all, that theme music we've got seems to be resonating throughout the far east. Yes. Have you had any kind of feedback at all from the... No, I mean the people. I mean I'm not particularly fond of it as a piece of music. I know what your intentions are. I did. I'll duplicate the fire. East, but for me, the only, the only, I think you can only possibly appeal the chickens. I think chickens are like that, that, that music, oriental chickens, that whole chickens,

chickens don't have a race. Chickens are global, are they? Yeah. Okay. All right. Fair enough. Well, chickens loom large in this week's podcast. Yeah. but that comes

later on. There's also form steediums, chicken form, something about the origins of a comedy catch for you. I like this after that. And there's a speculation about the doings of a recently sack manager as well. Ah nice one. Who is he? Where is he? What's he up to? Yeah. Tune in and find out. I'll keep tuning. And the other one thing I was just right now is that you know, for and while I've just had three very intrusive scans of my heart. I read that, yeah, I read that. When you know that this week,

where you won't bother to ask, I went, yeah, which I think is really revealing. How's it gone? Yeah. Well, I can tell that you couldn't give a toss on that. That bothered you still here. Well, I can tell that you couldn't give a toss and I'm not that bothered, you still eat it. So, all right then. Okay, well, then I dropped down dead

halfway through the podcast, right? All right, it was the last laugh then. I'll be you, Bob. Yeah, I'll have the last laugh and the... LAUGHTER I'll try not to. You could try the first laugh if you want as well. Right, come on, two it.

Let's talk about something. Just before we go into it. Yeah. I can't help noticing that you're wearing a big badge to do. Yep, of course I am. And that's about six inches in diameter. Yep. And it's got, I like dinosaurs written on it.

Yes. What's that about then? Well, it's, you know, like, take it literally if that works for you. I like dinosaurs. Yeah. You got a favorite one. Yeah. Two racks. Now I like to, you know, just like everyone Yeah. Yeah. You got a favourite one. Yeah. Two

rex. Now I like to, you know, just like everyone else. That's really predictable. Well, it is because I like to imagine it washing the pots with its tiny arms. Yeah. I'll play in cards. I'll try and the cope with the game as gravel. That's your favourite ever all the dinosaurs. Yeah. Well, you like my eyes. I'm pro-up my badge. Because the stairs in the face, I can't stop looking at it. Okay, well, I'll take it off then. All right then, fine. I'm not taking it off. Take it off, Bob.

Come on, let's get some mints. Yeah, right, anywhere. Are you still in memory mind, by the way? Yeah. Yeah, ask me any question you want. We've got one prepared for you and I've got this one off Google. All right.

Bob, can you remember every winner of the Gambian D-League between 1978 and 1992 including the infamous endless season? So it went on for five years during that period. 78-92. Can I remember it? Yes, I can. I can. That's where you're the memory mind. You can steer. I thought you had me then for a minute, but I do remember it. Yes, I can, I can, yes. That's where you live, memory man. Yep. You can steer. I thought you had me then for a minute, but I do remember that, yeah. Superman stuff that.

Did you know that this Benitez was wearing South Park cartoon socks? I did. Yeah. What do you think is intention is there? I think it's a lucky thing. You know it is, are you thinking so? I think superstition, I don't know anything about

Benitez as socks. Yeah. There's a son and a supporter. I care nothing about his socks, but but you know You don't think he's trying to you know, it's not like a charm offensive like giving him a fun factor You know, do you think that's what it could be? I was trying to bring the fun back to St James's park Well, I know you're sitting just about on the start enough gradually with a slight reveal of some South Park socks Yeah, right what next week it'll be what, like a novelty tie or something? Wait, a late ad bonitas with a suit park,

is that what you're saying? With a suit park socks like. Oh, you can see that now. Do you think you'll have a Wallace and Gromit tie on next week or something? Well, I was wondering. A big dinosaur badge. Yeah. If the...

Oh, is your favourite dinosaur? Is it Barley, you know? I haven't got one. No, it's it's bad. I'm bothered about dinosaurs. I live in the now I'm okay with dinosaurs the I was trying to think if a funny socket is ever actually funny You know is it can you have a funny sock? I've never seen one. I think it's really tough The only thing I could think of was that if you were a nice sort of car-flan sock that had Robin of Sherwood on it, right, and you wore shorts that had guns embroidered on like a Colt-Foy Fibre Magnum and that sort of thing. Right. That could be quite funny, no? What kind of shorts?

A cord or a shirt? A cord or a denim with a cord, you could add some guns Col- So guns and a Robyn or show would combo. Yeah, what do you think? Could be funny? No, I just desperate. It's pathetic. All right, fair enough. But if you're going to work in the funny sock industry, then you're not bothered, A, because no one's going to see the socks.

Do you know what's considered? I'd be covered in a shoe. You'd just be thinking, fuck it. Do you know what is the comedy sock? What is the big seller? Or, you know what I mean? Top of the chart. Comedy socks.

Yeah. It's probably, that's probably like a pig or something with a, playing a flute. Pig in a flute. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not too bad. That's not too, I check it out. See, you look at it as with a bit of dust in there, but if I pitched that with the comedy sock pig, well, I reckon they'd be all over that.

Well, they'd certainly write it down, I don't know. They'd consider it. Check and have in a shit. Yeah. Yeah. Don't be the shoe. Well, let's. And again, I like to think that Raffa has worn them as his lucky socks. I hadn't thought of that. So, you could be look, but like you see, it could be fun. He may be just trying to bring a bit of fun back in the management.

Because the other week we talked about kind, gentle managers, yeah, yeah. But Benet has a saying that decided it's not for him and he wants to go a different level. He wants to go fun. Yeah. Well, managers are laugh like I'm gonna try my hardest for them

on the wing. Thank you. So is the fun, man, clops the fun manager, then? Clops, clops, probably a fun manager, but clop doesn't know when to stop. I think with the fun, he'd be like, last one out in the taxi queue. When Clop's gonna sod this and go on on.

I've got a terrible feeling. He's not that funny, but he's got, because of his bulk and that, and his character, you feel obliged to laugh, you know. He's not funny, he thinks he's funny. Yeah. And because he's got that position of authority, he's clear as they're all kind of duty bound to laugh along with these antics. Yeah, and everyone's bought into it, you know, like, in wearing a Beatles. Yeah. It, like, it made people smile, isn't it? And so he believes, like, well, I just think he believes

I've got nothing to do. Anything that, what about Mizra? It was the least fun, Paju. Paju, Paju's complicate. You think he could be, he could be, depends on his mood, depends on the occasion. He's quite angry at the minute because he's losing a lot of matches. Yeah, but putting a pair of speedos and giving him a ball of Ambrosia rice, you know what I'm doing. Yeah, it could be. Probably off that one, right? The Remy Guard looks down at the dumps, I know. Remy Guard, there's no hope for R guard. But, I mean, it needs to manage in like league two or something. Just somewhere where he can just, you know, dig about a bit and have a laugh.

Dig about a bit. Dig about. Just enjoy himself. Remi, dig about a bit. We're looking for a manager who can just come here to SWAT, so let's say South End. Yeah. Could come here to SWAT.

Or just a bit to those sort of things. No, none whatsoever. But, and just dig about for a bit. It could be a bit more experimental, though, I can't. It's a breeding ground for comedy and management success. I mean, he's the thorn in the side of our theory about nice managers, because he seems a pleasant enough guy, don't he, and he's stuck there at the bottom of the lead.

I think he's just took on a job that he didn't really want. I think he was at a loose end. It came along and he thought, yeah, I'll do that. How can that be? Keeping Villa in the Premier League? And he's found out. Yeah. It's really hard. I mean, it was a lot sure. It could be problems at home. I mean, like, do you know, though, you know, with a bit, civil war recreationist type people, yeah, maybe his wife's met one of them. You know, with a civil war recreationist type people, yeah, maybe his wife's met one of them. Mm-hmm. She's spending a bit too much time with them.

A bit too much time on what, a knob with hell or whatever, make her in some incidents. He might have, like, Newson's neighbors or something. It could, of course, a lot of, like, thank you for that, and because a lot of time, now he's new since, is,

he, people, is on what's the word. It's not given, it's an awful thing. Yeah, it's a part of it. I know it grinds you down, doesn't it? Absolutely, it doesn't have to be like ACDC at 4am every day. But just like, you know, some raised voices and the telly been a bit so loud and it just gets on your tits doesn't it? Or a cartoon. A cartoon can be bad. I can remember living in debt for those of bloke who just who played that. Is it buffalo girls who go around the outside?

Oh yeah, I'm not going to declare that. Play that. 18 hours a day. It ain't so good after 18 hours, I tell you. I don't know. I'd like it. Anyway, so carry on with the next item. And let's, let's,

I was going to get back to something that asked you a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Which I want to try and ask you every single week until I've completely exhausted it. Okay. Have you ever met a footballer, Bob? I've met loads of footballers. You want another footballer's, Bob Moura's, Met Anikdo. Oh, do you remember Amerson? Yeah. The Brazilian who played for Middlesbrough. With the wet look. With the wet look. Yeah. Did he have a mustache as well? I kind of a pervert's mustache.

No, his hair was so wet and shiny that you believed he had a tash. It was just a projection. Yeah, he was, think of it as a hair projection under his lip. Wow. But anyway, after we'd lost, yeah, again, lost a cup final to Chelsea. Afterwards, I was at the disco with that emissary. You got to have a disco, I haven't even had a few lost just now. At the edge of it.

Then we just said to Brian Robson and said, No, my Brian's at disco afterwards. And there was a little smile and the crept in the car, the rest of his mouth. Rob said, I got a little bit of a sight. It's lit away here, Dan. So I went on to the dance floor to dance the samba, sell, sell, sell whatever it is. Oh yeah.

Because he can't stop dancing. He dances when he eats. You could see that on the pitch. Dances when he sleeps. And I said, oh, and I just said one of those, oh, unlucky. Don't look at the day, Emerson, you know, Mr. Emerson, or just I think I said emerson yeah unlucky Emerson and that he says oh don't worry I said don't worry a

little man and well I've lost to be track of it but we'll be back. But he says, hey, it's okay. He said, we're getting little guy. He says, it's okay, little guy. I was shit. And I thought that we're very refreshing as he was soutser in the way. Yeah. Well, I care in the world, telling me that the reason they'd lost was that he was shit.

But there you go. That's a little bit like one of my very few stories about footballers that I've ever met. And it was when I used to work in a record shop in the 90s. Yeah. And do you remember Gary Bennett who's been sent or after Sonland? I remember the name, not remember the face. Right.

Don't worry about the face. And he did have a face, yeah. He occasionally came in the shop and he came in the morning after a particularly grim dour, one one draw with a thing that might have been trammier midweek, February, awful. Now Benner hadn't been playing that night but it had been awful at the watch. We saw a look at it just to get a point out of it. He came in the next morning and asked and I said we get the match last night then Gary and he went yeah yeah obviously we'll babes club captain And I said Left a lot to be desired didn't it? You know just reflect the fans mood

We do our best he said We do our best. What was he the SS? He was just crossed. We do our best. We do our best. Well, that's what youngling I mean the thing is is the sign of... Sign of a ball, the top and the footballers are going after that. But it's interesting that I often think that, you know, Man City may be and Chelsea aside. All footballers, they do try the best, don't they? I suppose they do, but...

It's kind of not their fault that they've been signed up as footballers and that they've been picked week after week. You know, like someone was sort of a Manchester United fan that I know was complaining about Faleini the other week. Yeah. And I say, well, still he's fully gets picked. He gets picked and he just gets out there and as a goal. Yeah, Faleini is the most likely pre-minsured footballer to appear in Game of Thrones,

any? What do you think? Of the top we had, you know, probably say, years ago. Some sort of lumbering character. Yeah. You're without you. You don't have a speaking class. Have you never seen Game of Thrones? Yeah. Just a grey with that. No, he'd like a lot lot up into some banquet. Yeah. And love is cock into a goblet. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah. Oh, some of that. Sweet enough. That's what he said and then the wake after off with his head Yeah, so I went to I went up to

Liverpool once did you yeah to interview football? Oh, I can't tell you about the interview itself another time, but what happened? You've already given away some clothes there. Oh, what? Well, then it was Liverpool. Yes, it was Liverpool. Well, it was a Merzysack. It was Liverpool. Merzysack. How was it just someone who traveled there for the occasion to try and get everyone off the centre?

So I went up, I'm not saying anything for us. I went up on a two-seat plane. Oh, OK. We were there. We were there. It was all right. With the car. Which one he was flying? No, to show there. He was in it. All right, with the party was flying. No, haha

So with this just to see and then it was a terrible journey because all all the way through you try to speak and all you can hear is So are we going to have night we wanted to spew up and as this noise going on So we got we got into is it speak port and look, I think it is, a speaker port or something. And you go out in a separate place, not the normal airport with the pilot and that. And then when we got into the building, we shot the pilots on and said, thank you very much for the flight. And he replied to us. And it turned out that that was the noise.

It was him, that was him. It was him. The plane was as quiet as a mouse. It was just him. Is that your joke for this one? It's shown. Is that your pre-prepared joke for this one? It's podcasting. It struck me as an amusing thing to say. Good, good, good. Are you still happy with the near-mathletico mints? Because you had some grievances about the last time?

I really, I really hate it. Do you? I really hate it. Do you like it? I love it. The more you hate it, the more I love it. Yes, so it's not changing, then. No, it's not.

Actually, I came into some correspondence this week, so someone sent me a classified document, which irrefutably proves that your chosen alternative for this podcast as a name is unexpected item in the penalty area. Well, that's what I said. That's what you said. I've never said that. I've seen a document. It's got you signature on it. Is that the initial document item in the penalty area? But if people might believe that and that's not very failed, that's the way it is. So catch phrases and comedy, yeah? Yeah, let's lumber into that, something that, gristly, because it's written down here

about the interview I'm gonna say. Yeah, have you got any catch phrase anecdotes that might be football related? Maybe, like, say the fashion bob? Yes, I have. And he is. Fire away. He was interesting, you know,

like, how cultural things cross over and so on, you know. It is. And so I was at the 1982 World Cup in, which was the one way in Italy. It was not 82, it was later. Ninety, 90 was Italy, 90, 90. 90, 90. So it was outside Naples, so it was a spade one.

And I wanna go back there and revisit that sentence. Yeah, so you were in the nip, you were in Naples, so that was the Italian one, wasn't it? Yeah, so I was at the Italian 90 world cup, I was staying at a town outside Naples and I don't know if you remember but it was best football much I've ever been to, the Naples we beat Cameroon in the quarterfinal. And then the semi-final was going to be up into your end, for which I had tickets. But there was a terrible, terrible room going round the whole of where we were

that you mustn't travel, because there's going to be terrible violence up there from Juventus fans and so on. And I'll be honest, I shit out. And we watched the match in this town just outside, Nerples. So there was this big screen and it was absolutely full of English suppose, jump action. Watching the match. And then was it was it the centre of score? It bounced up off the wall or something. But anyway, it bounced over Schulten, didn't

it? Yeah, so Germany scored one lone voice from the back of this bar went yeah Everyone looked at him and he left he immediately just left the bar Fast forward to it slightly afterwards. I told this story to Charlie Higgsson, but I am blazing. Embellished it with the words, I'll get my cult. In a German accent. Yeah, and Charlie said to me, could we use that as a cat's phrase? So there's football and the comedy cat's phrases. A little bridge built between them there by that German father. You just, I'll get my corks. You've just layered a little brick in the path of history there. Yeah, well there you are. I hope you found that

interesting and you don't look like you're doing probably the most interesting thing you've said today so far. Well that's certainly more interesting than your health update Yeah, well that didn't interest you, did it. Not really. It's fall, and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See you at after details. Let's have one of the ears Andy. What's, come on. Well, I'll just want to get on the chickens now because I started running out of time already. It's been a very, very chicken heavy week. And if you look at the world of Wolfsburg striker Max Cruz, good player, good player, but life's not going well for him at the minute. Yeah, what's happened? Well, he's been fine 59 grand. Yeah.

No, he hasn't. He's been fine 20 grand. Yeah. And his crime was to leave 59 grand in the back of a taxi. That's not a crime. After a dead and a night at the port. Well, what is winnings? His winnings.

Was that a crime? Sorry, I'm not. Well, what is winnings? Is winnings? Was that a crime? Sorry, I'm not. Well, according to his managerial team, it's a crime. Not a crime. What's the crime? Winning the money, being in the casino, or leaving it in the car? I suppose it'll be a contract thing.

You shouldn't be in a casino. So he's been punished twice. First of all, he's lost the 59 grand in the back of the car. He held the relief 59 grand in the back of the car. Yeah. He held the relief 59 grand in the back of the car. Yeah, I once left five lemons in the back of a taxi. And it still hurts me. And I'm really a little Mr. Jav left. Oh, it's still at 40.

It's still at 40. So that's about one that's a percentage of your, is it a percentage of your 11 take? Yeah, it was just a ninth of them, but still 50 yards. Oh, no, that's the next morning, the only 45,000 quid. 59 grand. 59 grand.

59 grand is He's also been admonished by the aforementioned managerial team because he's got an addiction and Nutella. An addiction to Nutella. The tool to pipe down a bit with that. That's what they said. Pipe down with Nutella. Yeah. Why don't you neck in? Why don't you neck in with Nutella? Leave it alone with the Nutella. Otherwise, you're gonna end up losing more money in the back. That's probably on a Nutella high probably.

Sugar rush. Sugar rush. Put it all on red. And if that wasn't bad enough, he's been made to take part in Wolfsburg's community program, which they've got. And they had to put on a pair of green dungarees

and construct a chicken coop. Ah, that's you. Some youths. You brought the chickens in there. That's where the chickens come in. Okay, do you want a quick blast of your firey chicken music or not really? Go on, they're just a spated up one. Alright, go on.

Go on then. There you are. There you are. There you are. There you are. So, he had to build a chicken coop. Yeah. But you said to... No, no, it's a great story, really. I applaud you. Thanks There you are. So he had to build a chicken coop. Yeah. But you said to him, and I know it's a great story,

and he applauded you back, thanks Bob. But at the beginning you said like, we've got a lot of chicken. Yeah, is that not enough chicken for you? Oh, that's the end of the chicken. Is it? It might be the end of the chicken. It might not be, I'll see it here, was it enough?

I'll take one more chicken. Oh, I'll take another one. I've got another one and it's Liverpool's jaw Allen. Right. That midfielder looks a little bit like he's not really show wise there. Yeah, he's better. Well, he's an absolute pale and lost. Yeah.

But, you know, he gets the job. A bit of a hip still going on. Well, he has and it's probably because he's keeping 16 pet chickens at the minute. That's quite a hipster thing to do, isn't it? Keep your chickens. Yeah. Joalens got 16 of them, and he was on the front cover of chicken and egg magazine this week. That's not a real magazine, really.

It is a real magazine. All right, fair enough. And Joalens was on the front. With his chickens. He keeps 16 chickens with his wife, Leacy. Yeah. And they've got an interesting animal welfare. But keeps 16 chickens with his wife, Learcy. Yeah. And they've got an interesting animal welfare. But he keeps them with her. He keeps them with her all times.

He has like a belt and it's got like a lastic-knit and ropes on and hooks. Yeah. And the 16 lastic-knit and ropes that lead from her belt. Right. So an individual chicken. So they're almost like a force field of chickens that she's got around her. So if she goes at the disc of someone says, why is he white, which is your wife? Joe, he can say, over there, it's the last, it's the last with the chickens.

Over there, just behind the one with the dogs. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, they've got 16 chickens. So it's chicken waking in the world of football this week. Well, that's the end of your chickens, is it's chicken waking the world of football this week That's the end of your chickens is it because I haven't really I could tell you some of the names of the chickens Is it gonna rescue it? It's not really well get you you come in now not the listeners would like to know the names of all right here we go Meg

leg Chicken leg silky Steve Yeah, Kate yeah silky stave, yeah, cat, yeah, silky stave, junior, these are terrible and they're giblets, checking giblets, snowy,

yeah, nugget, chicken nugget, yeah, doora, holly, yeah, all right, it's enough in it, it's enough. There's no place to stop.

There's no place to stop, no place to stop on the eyes. Just shimmer, shine, chicken letter. And the last one is Kiev. Okay, thank you very much. Last one to last there for you.

Chicken Kiev. To go for the big laugh at the end of that piece. Yeah, chicken Kiev. You can imagine how much I've just offered. I've just offered with that list, but everyone who visits the Allen household is invariably going to be told that list, aren't they? Yeah.

So there's a lot of stuff. As Mrs. Allen's slowly twirls around in the middle of the room. Yeah. And George got like a pointer. Yeah. And he points to each chicken and answers the name, she rotates.

Unless they've got comedy socks on with the names on, may be. Or the chickens. Can you get comedy socks for chickens? I don't know, I'm just wondering, thinking out loud. Right, just thinking out loud. Probably not. Oh, I know this that you asked on Twitter and I,

you were asking, what is Steve McLaren doing right now? What do the people think he's doing right now? We can't know. Firstly, because we're in a studio here and we're not with Steve McLaren. And secondly, when I asked the question, it was like, it was five hours ago. He is at the moment.

Yeah, he's a ship shifter, I believe. And he's reverted to his invisible steered moment until a suitable managerial opportunity comes up. And what have people been saying? Well, you can choose your favourite from these beside who's won this week's. Could we send them something? No. No, that's not going to happen. The first one was Mr Ken Shabby and he's really made an effort here. He sounds that he's desperate to have something read out on a podcast So he's put using his new castle payoff cash to make real dogs playing pork at installation in his garage for Les Reed's pleasure I don't know Les Reed is carry on fine

GL sink has been a bit more succinct. Yeah, and he said he's in a dress and gown eating minstrels That's nice. That's so formal isn't it? Would it be a dress and gown or a kimono or do you think he could be in a dress and gown? I think it'd be a kimono you know, not underneath. I would be watching someone tell you that I think it'd be watching Dinnardare wouldn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Next one. Next one is from someone called I Am die. Yeah. The Welsh name. Any reckons you'll be having a pie bath and sculpting his forelock. Right. Okay. Pie bath eh? Yeah. That is bright yeah. And then we've got DJ Darren. Yeah. You'll me on me and up your real DJ. I don't know. He says it'll be sat on the bog reading a

saga insurance leaflet because he forgot the ticket is forning. So he has to read the leaflet. So he remembered the leaflet. He keeps Saga leaflet in his bog. Maybe that's a backup, just in case. The wife is asked, possibly. Yeah, I bet his ass is very tender though. If we pink, the sort of ass you'd still need to put a bit of that powder on to stop it getting sore.

Have you noticed on Andrex? No, they've got a little advert for their wipes, their toilet wipes. And what they kind of hint at is they kind of give you instructions for wiping your ass and they kind of say, you know, wipe your ass one, to get the job finished off properly with one of our new Andrex toilet wipes. And what I'll say is, if you're not quite as clean as you'd like to be, we're now selling these toilet wipes, don't confuse them with the toilet wipes that clean the bowl because they're less oblige and that's going to create a whole world of... Well, it'll probably kill the flour. It'll probably kill the flour.

It'll be like the air shock. It'll go straight through with burning. Saga leaflet would be no good for them, would it? And then the final one with some someone called hear Miss Jones who reckons he's knocking one out. I don't think so. I don't think he's knocking one out. Do you not?

No, I think that I'd like to think he's depressed and it tends to go down the charts of to do. So what do you reckon he's up to then? Steve McClare, well, I know I've said it before, and here I think that it's true love, in that a strike sense, is one true love is carpets. Right, carpets, so.

It's what he wants to be. It's what he wants to be. So I imagine he's wondering around, in a greyish, so wondering around a a carpet tick. Is it called carpet tick? Carpet shop Carpet tick, I think it's called carpet right and Like he's got so to south that he is occasionally approached as if he's an assale Oh, you think he's excuse me to you you work here and like any bluff sit there

Yeah, do you reckon it's one of those situations where he hasn't told his wife that he's lost his job And he still goes out every day and he's lost his job and he still goes out every day? And he goes down the cart, but shop pretends to be a member of staff helping people out. As he go, a wife. McLaren, he's got at least one wife I would reckon. You reckon? You just say you reckon, why? Because he's a man.

Well, he just looks like someone who's down-shodden. You say he's got a wife. You said last week that you lost your vision into a rougher? One was that true? No. All right. So is there a two? There's not a two, is there? No, I'm just pulling it out of the water. I've never known with some of you denial. Now the denial might be untrue as well. You'll never know. I never know. No. Well, I'll take you to pry, won't it? Do we have time for another topic, Andy? Well, West Ham. Everyone's favourite East London club that are about to move into a stadium that doesn't

belong to them and that they've got on the cheap. You sound a bit better there, what's that? No, no. What's up with them? What they want to do. Why are you bringing the head thing back in? What's it to you? What's it to you that they've got the stadium for?

I'm only here for West Ham. All right, carry on then. I just mentioned a couple of facts there. They're moving out from the balling ground, I think they call it, the obstacle up in park, don't they? Do you know where that died? I've followed football now for 50 years and until this season I've never heard this balling ground thing. Do you know? I've heard of it before. You kidded. Oh, it took on a carriage. Yeah, but they call it the balling ground as well.

Well, I had the sun marketing thing going on there or something. Well, no doubt so. They'll be making it into... ...smart awesome Twitter I'll tell us why it's... Well, I would genuinely like to know, because it upset me, because I like the history, you know, the football and West Ham play it up to the park, which used to be a very scary place to go as an away fan in the semis. The chicken run. It was bad. But great atmosphere there. Best atmosphere in London I would say for sure. Well that's all for now because the movement

of the Olympic stadium, it's cavernous. I mean the Lyreons. I hope it's not a disappointment for them. That's your opinion. Anyway so what's happened at West Ham? Well they did obviously try to drag the asset of it financially before they move. And they're now selling form stadiums of the ball in ground. Well, that's kind of a stroke, up in park. You can wear on your hand. Oh, they're gloves. Well, they're sort of like gloves,

but they're rectangular in the shape of a stadium. So you put them on your hands, tell me, and then what context you put them on your hands. You put them on your hands, and I think you weave them in the air. At the match. When you go down the match. Yeah.

And there are only six quid, which is probably the best thing about it. That's quite a fan thinking. That's quite a lot of foam for six quids. Isn't it? How much is a pillar? I don't know, but you could easily just strap two of these together and get a pillar over here. Cover them with an uptoned park to eat out.

Yeah. They're probably sell it then below cost, aren't they? When you think about it. They're forever blowing bubbles, aren't they? They are out. Yeah. They're probably selling them below. Costs aren't them when you think about it. They're forever blowing bubbles, aren't they? They are forever. Yeah. Yeah. That must cost a few, Bob as well.

And especially when they're moving the new ground, the bubble expenditure is going to go through the fucking roof. All right, we'll be swearing. But how would you operate your bubble machinery with the form gloves on? It's kind of one or the other, really. You've got, yeah, you can't do both. You've got to have someone who's out there striding up and down the touch line, giving it all with the foam hands in the air

and encouraging them to do the same. And then there's another fellow pumping away at the bubble machine. Makes me wonder, makes me think, do you know, you declared earlier that you can't have a funny sock. Can you have a funny hand, a funny glove, is that... It wouldn't say you can, no? What you think, West Ham have tried, and if they can, do it no longer. Well, if you can't do it with a stadium,

what's the alternative? There's the big hand, isn't it? Well, there could be cock and balls or something. Or... Well, that'd be funny, though. Pie and chips, pie and one and chips, and the other, something like that. That's probably one we can ask the listeners for next week,

isn't it? But can you think of a form product that would be funny? That's not a cock and balls, and it's not a football stadium. I did want to mention, because yeah, we are running out of time here. I did want to mention that I read this week, that Ronaldo, Christian, Christopher, wow, Jeff Jeffrey Ronaldo.

His leap, some professor has worked it out, probably using maths. His leap is superior to the leap of a cheater. Really? Yeah. And I don't particularly have anything to say to that. I thought that was interesting because sometimes if you freeze from a Ronaldo leap you do think that is unusually high. It is. Do you think he's using some kind of stimulants to get that height? Well maybe the comedy sock lined with foam but a kind of spring from foam. I don't know that or cheat a blood

I mean, I wasn't I wasn't really you know trying trying to try to be lighthearted about it I thought it was quite a coincidence Well into the quite extraordinary I love cats. There's a blur on the a cat documentary I watch ITV I watch Channel 5 mainly. Yes, you who doesn't have you I watch Channel 5 mainly I watch ITVB during the Yes. Who doesn't? I watch Channel 5, mainly. I watch ITVB during the day. Yeah. But I care now, like...

For all the stuff that you didn't bother watching an ITV four years ago. No, I like the Hollywood... I like the housewives of Beverly Hills. Right. And I like Denardate. The Walnut Walnut. What you then, Mr Steve McCarran watching right now, I wonder? I think he's on the...

He's probably on the housewives, that's it. But, come on, I'll... I on I saw the big cat's documentary and have you ever seen an oscillot? It sounds like one of the like month of ice and funny but have you seen the animal? The other same one I've seen a picture of and I'm seeing one close up. Jordanary beautiful rare creature. I think it's a really smooth, smooth, spotted and striped, beautiful animal. And there was a bloke, I think God knows where it was. And in a genuine, not in a game, or a zookeeper,

just in a natural habitat, you could go to this clearing in the forest and go, or whatever, he was saying. And an oscelot would come out of the forest and go with a walk for him. Wow! I mean anyway that is just rubbish. He's just rubbish, the oscillots language there. He's manipulative. I've got to do anything. Have you seen the downside of it? I'm not. I'm just looking at the possibilities. He's exploiting the Ocelot.

He was a... I'd be more interested in Jo Allen if he kept Ocelots than chickens. But we all would be. God, this speaks volumes about Jo Allen, don't it? Chickens. Anyway, do you know how there's a little footnote to the me, the fast show story?

When Charlie told me that he said to me, he couldn't use that for this new show with him. I said, yeah, of course he can't. He said, look, Bob, if we ever make 40 million quid from it, we'll pay you five, 600 quid for it. I said, well, that's a deal, that's fine. And do you know what the bugger is? What's that?

That made 39.5 million. And I never got a penny. That made 39.5 million. Oh. And I never got a penny. That's like when they give a player 39 matches, because if they're playing for a 40th match, they've got a triggers, extra payments. Triggers of claws. You've tried a trigger of claws there.

Well, maybe in time. Maybe if my heart lasts out, not that you could give a toss, maybe those cells will go up to 40 million. I'll just get someone else and I'll get Charlie Hicks and then or someone. Charlie won't, but would you really be better than me? He won't be great. You know what I mean? So next week are you asking our listeners to look out for anything in particular? I think we've just asked them, haven't we asked them what kind of form product would be funny? Yeah. I would also just also be interested to find, you know, oh, the think is the most fun manager

Right because it's a difficult one. Sorry the lit sorry. I think the least fun Manager is a difficult one push a Tino part you maybe part you are reckon Remy guard We shouldn't be constant on the Premier League either when it be looking outside of the Of course. Yeah, Sean Ditch. He'd be no fun. He's not wrecking. No. I've got to be strict. I think you might be. Well, he might have that clop thing where he says he thinks he's funny and you've got to laugh. Oh, good one, Sean. Can you imagine a poor brand by Sean Ditch? Yeah, he'd be great with his regulars. But outsiders would be tied with suspicion. Yeah, and they're just drinking yellow liqueurs. You'd have a quiz on that one, but he wouldn't want it.

Yeah, and could you imagine I wouldn't ask for the darts from him? Yeah. He'd just give you a look, wouldn't he? So there you go. Least fun manager. Yeah. Arguably Sean Dach. Maybe, but let's see what people think.

Yeah. Well, it's been lovely. I must go off and have some further work, investigative work on me, and they? If that's what it takes to get your back in your next week, Bob, I'll go for it. Thank you very much indeed. Goodbye. I just wanted to say that our listeners can find us on Twitter at Athletical Mints. I thought you'd go. Are you still here?

Yeah. At Athletical Mints. Turn the button off. I don't want you saying stuff until, can you turn it? No, I don't know what you're No, that's all I want to say. Just they can follow us there, get up to it and find out when we're on next and answer all questions. And contribute to the toilet. Yeah, exactly. It's an inclusive thing we're doing here. And that's basically it. So you can leave the room now. Thank you very much, Andy. thing went really bad.

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