Athletico Mince - Ep.9 - Mashed Potato Fireworks

Episode Date: May 3, 2016

Steve McClaren’s birthday, a ruthless assessment of Chris Evans, a story about when Bob got shot and another song. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. I'm going to be aimed at you at all. It's just a thing that I do. It's almost like a breathing exercise. It's kind of like a yoga sort of thing. And it gets me in the place that I need to be spiritually, emotionally, harmonically. How monically works it?

Before we start this. And now that I've done it, I feel good to go. Well, I'm glad it works for you, you know, but you will appreciate it could be misunderstood as a sign that you couldn't care. Now that I've explained what it is, I don't see how you could misinterpret it. Oh, well, say there was a Vick, or something like that.

You're doing your wedding vows. Yeah. And he goes, do you take this lovely woman to be your wife? No. Well, it's not what I do. I don't know what I do. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. It's more like a...

Yeah, I exactly, it's a resign, don't want to be here. So, if you've got... Acceleration of breath, it's all it is. No, you said it was for good luck. I mean, I don't recall upon about this forever, but there's a time in the place, isn't there? It's partly good luck, partly verbal yoga. I'll call it verbal yoga.

If you were looking at yourself in a nude in a full length mirror, I'd accept it that that's the kind of exclamation that would be made. But when we're meant to be, I'm gonna rap or, don't know, anyway, I'll kick off and say that today we've got the wives' questions, they're coming up. Yep. Little bit more chat about the bean rounder

from this side of things. Oh, oh. Oh, please. A little bit chat about Sunderland Weddings. Yes, no, footballer, guess the footballer. I hope you'll play that with me. I'd love to. And I've got a footballer that I've met story.

Cool. I'll boat you. Just usual stuff. Okay, so it's question. I'm not gonna tell you what. All right. But you? Just usual stuff. Okay, so it's a question. I'm not going to tell you what. Alright, but let's, oh yeah, let's call me predictor and let's let a bet you ask me some questions that involve me abusing me servants, stroke nonexistent stuff. If I've been asked a shot in the day, if I've been asked questions by the public in the last week,

just in random places like the supermarket, the cashmashain, the petrostation, the woods, about you and the way you treat your servants, then it's my duty to pass them on. What are you doing in the woods? No, mine are done in the woods. You don't want to talk about that, but it's a very big day today and day. It is. It's just one of the best days of the year. It's someone special day at the day. For me, it's the best day of the Pancake there. Yeah. Second best days of the year. It's someone special, day at the day. For me, it's the third best year of the year, Pancake there. Yeah.

Second best year since Wednesday. Oh, yeah. Best year of the year is Steve McLaren's birthday. It's 55th. He's 55, is he? So he's almost just eight years younger than you now. Yeah, that's catching up. That's 30 years of retail experience in carpeting.

Does he get some kind of like golden clock or something for that? No, he'll get a golden sample. And the carpet fit as you, yeah. But what's he doing? What's he up to? What's he up to on his birthday? This is the vision that came into my mind.

I'm thinking of a hot 10 dot dog, yeah? So I said, bubbling it in the pan. Just the one. Just the one under, yeah. No, what you wish, line. Just the one. Just the one under, yeah. No, watch your way slime. Just the one. Just the one. He's just taking it out and he's just draining it

a bit on some kitchen towel. Oh, I know. He's, he's, he's a topless. Yeah, nice pair of blue slacks. Yeah. And he just takes the up dog throw on the kitchen paper. So the big lass. Who's watching?

What is it? The chairs. Is that what I know? And Dan Bertie and they're going to watch that for the birthday. Is it celebrity chairs that are just standard? I don't know because I'm here with you, desperately open. I'm going to get back in time for dinner date. What do you reckon he's doing? Well, I think he's been alone.

I think he's been the fat lass for the day. And I reckon he's been down. He's looked like half this morning. And he's had one of them good buster, big breakfasts, you know, the good buster. Where you get like four sausages and like four rashes of bacon and like loads of mushrooms, both kinds of tomatoes, plum and proper. Proper tomatoes. And you know, all the stuff. You do realise.

Two slices of toast. A plum tomato is a different type of tomato. It's not just a tin tomato. It's a tin tomato. Yeah, it's a tin tomato. It's a, it is a tomato. But also a proper tomato. Fried.

And four bits of fried bread. Fried bread of course. The good buster, isn't it? How much you prefer? You go for your breakfasts up. The asda, don't you know? I go for the asda for my breakfasts. How much does it cost you?

It's less than a fiveer. Oh, isn't this cheap as I thought would be? The last time I was in Borough, the BHS, BHS Shownstars, they were right, the BHS. Yeah, they were doing a full English one, 99, with a cup of tea. How big was it though?

Was it a good duster? I don't think it did, it's only a little buster. You know what, they're being cut in corners. they've got a little bit of gear away with there. That's and that's where they're in the position. Yeah, nothing to do with that Philip grain. No, I know what, it was probably his idea. It's a cut down from on high. Cut back on the breakfast ingredients. Yeah. One sausage, one egg, one slice of bacon. I don't want to be a associate with gut busting. Well, yeah, that's what I said, but at the end of the day it's McLaren special day. He doesn't go for a good buster every

day. We've had some of the, um, has not finished. Oh, I'm sorry, gone. So all right, he's had his gut buster, right? And then he's gone down to the HMV. Yeah. And he's gone in and bought himself one of the important record players. Right. You know, then ones that come with the lid on. Yeah. And the handle, 70 quid, splashed out. Because it's tightly get the vinyl out again. What sort of vinyl and what's he got?

Everson Lick and Palmer. That's it, ELP. Just the ELP, all the way up. Well, you're wrong there. Oh, how do you know? No, well, I do, I don't ask for your word, because it's a too long story. But it's a big moody blues fan. Is he? Yeah, so there's a bit of moody blues in there. Oh, how do you know? Well, I do not, I don't ask you why because it's a too long story, but it's a big moody blues fan. Is he? Yeah, so there's a bit of

moody blues in there. And a little bit of amateur white satin. No, yeah, nice and white satin will be included. And a little bit of other what era? That you know, the classic era, you know, like Imperial, can you hear me then my noises American Queen? Yeah, sort of 76 to 78. Yeah. Yeah, before the rotset in with the marriages and all that. Was there a rot with the Aber?

I don't know, great deal. It depends on how much of a fan you are. Personally, I don't think there was a rot. Yeah. I think it was golden from start to finish. But in terms of popularity, I think they were at that peak, dancing Queen, Fernando. and then when they started in Bristol school a little bit, 1978, 79, take a chance on me,

Summonade City. Take chances, take chances, all right. Yeah, but they just, they, Summonade City, I'm thinking and all that, it's sort of, it's a fellow wheel a little bit. They were kind of filibuster knocked out with a position by the Magnificent Books first first to be honest with you That's one way of looking at it. The wrong way of looking at it, but it's one way of looking at it. Was it books? Fizzle words. So dry your eyes, little girl. Where do you go to dream? Land of Meg Belay. Land of Meg Belay. The lights are one of the greatest songs ever written. Yeah, and I'm watching top of the

pops 1981 at the minute on Baby Safe for every week. Yeah, and we're just at a point now where they've done making your mind up. Yeah. But they haven't got the land of make believe. Yeah. And it's almost like they're they're they're trying to get across a stream from one storm to another. Yeah. And the song they've got out at the minute back in 1981.

Yeah. It's a very, very slippy, mossy covered storm. Yeah. And they've almost slipped. They've almost gone. Yeah. But I know with hindsight, they'll get it back. Yeah.

And it'll be landing, but leaving a few away, so we'll be back on track. Right on track. Oh. So does yours can't story continue about that? Or is that it? He's having a gut book. That's it.

Well, we've had some other suggestions as to what he might be doing today, because it's his birthday. We thought we'd make a... So we've got Simon Bookton, yeah? He says he's sitting down with his new electric guitarist wife got him and he's going to learn house of the rising sun. Oh not nice and why does that? No house the rising sun. I bet you watch my headphones as well so you can just plug in and get on with it. Yeah well she gossips with the fat lass. Phil, single mat suds, something like that. He reckons

he'll be eating a pasty but with an iPhone fork. Tony, he says, a quiet birthday, eating fridge readers with the Mrs. It's a nice day, isn't it? You've got any? Andy? No, I ain't got any. Ken Shabby reckons he's got June on DVD, a multi pack of holo hoops mixed into one bowl nice touch Steve. June, who? June Brown. Not June, June the film. Is it stinging out of something? Oh, that June.

Oh, June, yeah. Bill of Fanta and some Meow Meow. Oh! Another Brian O O says, Jet washing the patio and someone else here called Matty says that it will he asks me what me favorite kind of board is actually. What is your favorite kind of board? A favorite type of board.

Yeah. Instantly I think to myself the iron in board. Right. I think it's a fair bit type of board. Instantly, I think to myself, the ironing board. Right. Well, that's funny because we had another tweet from GLSync. Nothing to do with Steve McClaren or indeed football, but he wants a recommendation for a new iron. And he's got a budget of about 50 quid.

50 quid budget. Yeah. Well, he can get into us, he can get into steaming iron with that cost. Well, to me, 50 quids budget. Yeah. Well, you can get into us, you can get into Stamine in with that, at that cost. Well, to me, 50 quids outlandish. No, it's not, well, you get a decent iron for that. Actually, a decent iron for like 15. You won't get a two part of the separate reservoir for the, for the water, but I use a Morphy Richards, yeah, but it's got half a liter capacity, but it's too much. No, it's too, yeah, it's just too much.

But if he's only got a budget of 50 quid, I recommend him off your Richard as long as he gets ceramic soul plate on it. Yeah. So that he gets proper glide on it. And please, please, what was his name? GL Sink. Please GL Sink, please get a tank capacity of more than 450 liters.

Are you just be forever? 450 liters. Ha, ha, ha. Millilit liters. Are you just be forever? 450 liters. Milliliters, are you'll be just forever? There'd be running bottles of force to the sink, wouldn't you? That was in forward to the bog to refill it, you know what I mean? Well, you could get a little top-wear drill, couldn't you? And have it on the side, full of water. Yeah, but there's weird around these things.

There is weird. There's a money-severing device, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, if you're on a budget, I mean, like you would use, you'd probably, like I've one of those garden sprayers with water in it. Yeah, spray it at your garments and then use a very cheap iron, so a 999 Piff course or something.

Or no, what I use is one of them kitchen cleaners sprayers yeah 99 pens from master yeah once I've used it up I'll fill it up with water yeah and spray it on right I said that so I correctly but once again I'm predicting about the garden once what's well you know I don't know whether it's a garden it's a thing isn't it I don't know what you're talking about um water and can no if you know I mean, looking at me like that. Right, memory man. Yes, all right, Al, how'd you do? That's what I mean. That's why I'm the memory. I'm the memory man.

Let's get back to business, okay. To the As Memory Man question, are you ready? Yep. Do you remember the time when Trevor Brooking scored a goal for England and the ball became lodged in the stanchion? Just have a suck on your crack pipe there while you think about it. Yes, yes I do. Do you remember what year that was? Oh.

Yes, yes I do. Do you remember which country it occurred in? It was in a war game. Yes I do. Do you remember which country it occurred in? It was in a war. Yes, I do. There we go, ladies and gentlemen. Are you going to tell the ladies and gentlemen when it was? No, no. They've got Google for that sort of thing.

Can I just give us a little update on the ring situation? Ah, thank you. The panda, oriental, buffet house of disasters in Hormside in Sunderland. Go on in for the last two or three weeks. Oh, I don't know, Tises, that we want to know as you go on. What the new listeners want know about it. Sorry, Poundley. Jesus.

New listeners want know that there's been a ring left behind in the buffet. And there's been a sign in the window. It's gone on for weeks now. I walked past this morning, the sign has gone, the ring has either been claimed or nubbed by the proprietors. I mean I can't see the place in my mind's eye but what would you guess, Be? They've said, oh, they've had the chance now. We'll keep the ring.

I wouldn't see that for legal reasons. Okay. Is it somewhere that you'll go to? I've been there. Yeah. I'm happy with the sneeze guards. Well, let's say this then, if someone did get the ring and it was because of you making the announcement, that's a really nice thing, isn't it?

It's made this entire series of podcasts worthwhile, isn't it? It does a bit. So Chris has been striving for some kind of reason to carry on, but Chris Evans then, alright. Yeah, Chris Evans. Would you say he's more like wacky? Or more bonkers.

You know what I mean? Is he more like a bonkers? Or is he wacky? I'm quite surprised that you have an offered up Zeynny as one of the options there. Okay. I think he was probably Zeney in his younger years. But now that the years have passed, he's a lot more experienced. Yeah.

He's comfortable with what he's doing. Yeah. I'd probably say bonkers. He's bonkers. Absolutely. Fucking bonkers. Is that why you like his shoes? Because like anything could happen.

I can't get up on television. There's been imiers. I could even thought of that. I think he must be bonkers. Bonkers he is. Well, I'm going to cross out, I like the way you've argued that. I'm going to cross out Chris Evans

is wacky young bonkers and chisikris. Evans is bonkers. Right. Did you know, he is, I'll let you end on a secret, eh, Randy? That in the past, on one of his shores, there was a member of staff used to piss in his bath every day. Just was a sort of revenge. No, it just caused, shh.

But you're going to see a revenge there. No, I think in the spirit of being bonkers. And wacky. And wacky. Yeah. That's the kind of, like, it's banter, isn't it, really? It kind of is. It's the birth of a banter.

You're a fierce banter. Yeah. It's good that. So, let me say this to you, coming to football. I saw this quote this morning. Football?

Football, yeah. Jose Mareño, quote, about Claudio Ranieri. He is almost 70 years old. He has won a super cup and another small trophy. He's old and he hasn't won anything yet. Was that from this morning? That was from 2008. Oh.

So, that's interesting. We'll just move on from that. Yeah. I think that speaks volumes about Jose Mare 2008. Oh. So that's interesting. We'll just move on from that. Yeah. I think that speaks volumes about the horse in merino. Yeah, it does though, don't it? He's bonkers, isn't he? I bet weddings in Sunland are a bit feisty. Are there feisty?

Wedden receptions or wedding ceremonies? No, the ceremonies, they'll be very pretend the religious series about it, but what's the biggest flaw in? Yeah. What's the drink of their double maxim? We do drink double maxim, yeah. And special brew. Whatever it's called, special brew. Whatever you get, it's price per volume of alcohol. That's how I operate, yeah. Nothing test.

Whatever. I've spoken previously about the Iceland, up the Iceland they've got eight cans for itquid. What I didn't mention was that they are pint cans. And at 440's they're not 500's, the 560's. That's almost a barrel, not a can, isn't it? That's pretty much, and that's eight for itquid. Wow, well, what's a test like, and you couldn't give a shit? It's quite tinny.

Well, there's a lot of tin involved, isn't there? Yeah. And that size? Does the job look for the function in alcoholic? Do you want to know about when I met a footballer? Some football would be good. Oh, well, well, well, well. Well, I can't let me down here.

He's a little stoy, right? I'm going way back here. Right back into the 1950s, because me and me, brother, we had a garden sale when we were young, like ten. Like they're doing America? Yeah, we put some stuff on the turf. You're saying that on happy days, I do? Probably that might have been our inspiration. Eeeh! Okay!

And so we put some stuff on the table and we yelled to sell little pots. Thank God, and I'm guessing I'm not fucking. But would anybody have been passing by? Yeah, well, yeah, I live on the road. We lived on a road, Andy, with a pavement. And my brother's, my elder brother's care mom, saw what we were up to and was that shooting at us with an air rifle.

Yeah. And I've still got the scar on my arm. Right. Where a two-two pellet from an air rifle hit me. I didn't really scream, I didn't really bother me, you know what I mean? I saw it went, I saw it went, ah! Whatever, you know, what, shrugged it off.

Shugged it off. Fugally mess. At the woods. Anywhere's up. So they'd add their fun shoot in the siblings or whatever. And then all the sale itself had finished because they destroyed all our items, yeah. An old fella walked on the side of the house and it was Wilf Manian. The legendary Wilf Manian.

I believe still to this day. The greatest record signing. Yeah, the greatest goals to match the Russia for the England team football. Any man called Wulf? He saw a bike there, like a little chopper sort of bike in the 1950s. Or what, you know, but I was a little bike, a kid's bike there right and he said how much is that I can't Remember what we said anyway, so we said 10 pounds and he gave us the 10 pounds That was me elder brother's bike Yep, so who won on that day The little boy had been shot, but just laughed it off on the older boy who lost his bike to Wolf

Manion. I think Wolf Manion was probably the one. Ten pound was a lot of money but I'm not saying it was ten pounds but he just did. I'm saying I can't read it and if you'd listen I said is this because you were in shock? Well the whole scheme was... He didn't laugh it off like you clearly did you? No I wasn't in shock. I was saying it was ten pounds thinking that was probably what the ever the equivalent was, then it might have been £50. But that's a footballer that I've met. The legend that is Will Thmanian.

He's dead now, is he? Yeah. I wonder what happened to the bike. Never know. It would have been any hysteria, wouldn't it? Yeah. Could have got the quith to football museum. Never know. It looked like a piece of steel, wouldn't it? Yeah. Could've got the quith to...

football museum. It's fall. And you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats. But maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes. We can deliver that.

Uber Eats. Get almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See you at for details. I need to ask, for you, a follow-up from last week, and about the doldmy sauce that you take, the cinemas. Fair enough, I've not had a lot of interest. And I am not knocking it.

But it inspired me last time as in says breeze to have a look at the range of dolmy or sauces, yeah. Yeah. And you said you took the red one, the lumpy one? The one with vegetables in it. Yes, it's called something like tomatoes and veg in it or something.

Yeah. There's that a creamy one that was a lot more expensive. Is that the white one? I don't know, maybe. but I noticed it was more expensive. It's a kind of a lasagna sauce that one Is it? Yeah, but if there was would you buy that for say some film that you were really really Anticipating that kung fu panda for or something like that would you take one of those special sources? You know what I don't think the films come along yet, they're I think Warren's the creamy sauce. But you might think so. I'm nearly good at for the last Star Wars one. Yeah. We're at the last minute, I just thought, nah. Do you like Star Wars?

I love Star Wars. What do you like about the goofy little animals? I like all the shooting. You like the shooting. I love the shooting and the running about. I'm sure you can get shooting in other ways and go on to see Star Wars films. Got some yes or no's for your Bob. Okay, go on then. Right, chart and athletic, yes or no? Yes.

Chart and Heston, yes or no? Yes. Heston services on the M4. Yes, big yes. Ha! Two out of three again. Heston is half. It's half. I bet it's the more where it's one because I was thinking of fleet services.

It's on the M3 and what it, which is a beautiful service. You should have given it a bit more thought, shouldn't you? I got two out of three. Glided through those questions there. So cocky. Well, I think it's definitely time for the wife's questions. Oh, God. Every week she prepares questions, the wife.

She started emailing with them, you know. I I she yeah, so I know what you can ask Right your fungal or yep for the listeners who Before I'm trying to find out about his bungalow, but he won't answer unless I call it fungal or so anyway first off I've got to ask you it's a fungal or what is so much fun about this fungal or have you got like a man-caver cinema room pool table and Your the I am the I'm the source of fun You've decided that yeah Got a lot of DVDs. Yeah, got a nice garden for like a bit run around running around what running around missing Plain Tiggy.

Yeah. Um, jigsaws. Well, have you got straw blight in? No, I just standard, well, it's dimmer. I've got a dimmer switch on. Dimmer switch, no, that's fun. Yeah. Have you got mixer taps?

That's fun. mixer taps. Well, now we're talking. Have you got, you know, your shower? Yeah. Is it above the bath or a new walk into it? No, it's above the bath, but it's a power shower. Fun, fun, fun.

It's got a lot of belt in it. Does it actually have an on the gradient on the when you turn it up? It does it say fun. It doesn't, but there's numbers. And if you're going to apply the numbers, which is the temperature, yeah, in Celsius. Yes. If you're going to apply those numbers to your own sort of self-determined levels of fun, then you know what you're going to get.

Do you know what I mean? Do you think you get the fun in a shower is dictated by the power fullness or the temperature? Fun in a shower can be dictated by wherever you want it to be. Right. It's a private act. Okay. So it's a fun glow because you've got dim switches, you've got... Jigsaw. Mix it, you've got Jigsaw. Star Wars Jigsaw.

Yeah. Yeah. Now this, that would have been fun. You're looking on your heels now, aren't you? Well, I thought you were coming out as a smarth. Have you got a smart-ass question there? Have you knocked it back in your face? Have you got PlayStation's Xboxes? I've got the Xbox one in the lounge.

Yeah. And I've got an Xbox 360 in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Not prepared to see where it is. Well, I hope that's as far as the wife. What do you have for breakfast, Andy? Do you have frosties because they're great? Or do you have the Glynith Paltros Saki Bowl? Who? Glynith Paltros Saki Bowl. I don't have that, no. No, do you have frosties?

I had frosties yesterday, actually. Yeah. Do you gobble them down like the time is running out so that they don't get soggy, are you? No, I'm not worse than soggy frosty. It's a bit of a rush, isn't it? Yeah. With your fruit and fiber, with your fruit and fiber, I don't mind to get in soft or

alpenes, that then sucks. Is that what you're on now? Well, I have to because of my health, you you know what you haven't asked about for some time. Anyway more about me. Final question. So you are frosties. Yeah, yeah frosties yesterday. Do you also have wheat the bicks? You put a lot of sugar on them. Put butter on it Bob. You put butter anyway. And you have rad wheat the bicks and butter. Fuck off. You put butter anyway. And you have red, weighty bits and butter. Fuck off.

Are you trying it? No I haven't. Don't not get till you've tried it. You have milk. No no. You're gonna have a glass of milk with it. You're butler, you're weighty. I put butter on a weighty, the big biscuit.

What I need you like, a cracker. Yeah. Blown your mind over now. You have to blow me mind. You know, you really have. Yeah. Blown your mind over now. You have a lovely mind. You know, you really have. Yeah. Who taught you that? It was me, Gran.

You Gran used to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Have you got a... Have you got a musical doorbell? I've got quite a scary doorbell. All right. Can you re-cute it?

It's a little bit warped. It's sort of like an ordinary doorbell, but if you'd like, walk the sound a bit, is it a sound effect? Or a ding-dong, for it's a-go-z ding-dong. Alright, that can create a terrible atmosphere, can't it? It's terrifying. I don't answer the door to anybody.

It's like when I watch... one of me cry and one's. It's not sinister, ministers. It's happily never after. Happily never after it goes Gives a similar feel you know enter it your peril Separate question from me What yeah, it's completely separate, but I'd like like to get why why is there a fourth question? But it's not a wife's question. It's my question who said you're gonna ask questions

Do you want any of the question? I'll decide if one answer it all right Do have you or do you intend to launch your own aftershave? I? Have got no concrete plans to launch my one aftersh have at this point in time I would never rule anything out or you'll just take each project as a cons and you never know what's wrong the corner thank you how desperate financially you might be you've answered that beautifully I'll hand I'll hand the agenda over to you and they well I've got three questions as well that have been asked by the police, basically.

Yeah, I'm not going to. I'm not answering them if it's just nonsense, Andy. I'm perfectly want to answer a proper question. Bob, as a millionaire with your mansion and your collection of cars with genuine leather interiors like the ones that Chris Evans has got but not as good. Do you meet your staff where a uniform and if so do you pay for their uniform cleaning expenses? I'm not really in there. I haven't got a mansion and I don't have any staff to put in uniforms. But do you pay for their cleaning expenses? I don't have any staff. Other uniforms? I don't have staff so I've no need for uniforms.

Interesting. Bob, there's a millionaire with your mansion, your collection of cars with genuine leather interiors that Chris Evans has thrown away. Your leisure room with its jugg box, its coin drop machines, its what the butler saw machines, and its speak your weird machines. Do you pay for your staff to have English lessons once they arrive in the UK after you've recruited them at Calia and strap them to the underside of a fruit lorry that's bound for Dover. I don't have any stuff, I don't recruit staff at ports, I haven't got a talky white machine or a joke box. But once they're here, do you pay for them having English lessons?

I don't have any staff at them. So I don't need to have them have English lessons. Typically you're veyous of Bob, with your mansion, your millionaires mansion, collection of cars, genuine other interiors, leisure room, jukebox, condrom machines, what the butler saw machines, speak your weird machines, your freezer that's full of frozen uranium, which he uses to secure it in measure, to fend off take over bids from enemy millionaires. Do you make your staff sign a gagging clause to prevent them from speaking about your annual

Bob Limpyx sports day? Where you don't have any. Well, please allow me to finish the question. Where you and the other millionaires celebrities, but not Chris Evans, because he's not allowed round, congregate in your private orchard and rump in the nude for medals and candy cigarettes, the banned ones with the red tips? I don't have any uranium stocks in my house. I don't get together with other celebrities. I don't get together with other celebrities.

I would like to stay here absolutely that I object. It's very strongly to the suggestion that I smoke the really naughty candy cigarettes. I can hardly remember the question now, but I think I'd better add to that and I don't have any staff. So you've refused to confirm or deny that you make your staff sign a gagging clause about the Boblin mix. What a Boblin mix? Boblin mix, like the Olim mix, but round at your own,

Boblin mix. There's no such thing, Andy. Are you finished? I'm finished for now. So, let me ask you this. Do you remember when we were talking about the bean rounder the beanie the bean rounder you call it the bean rounder well you're from because it's full of potato yeah so your bean rounder is sausage made

but baked beans in the middle sausage made later than the back deep fried minds and beans potato deep fried. In failure products. Have you heard of, I saw someone mentioned this one called the John Bull, that's apparently from Blackburn. Did you say that? I'm not familiar with it. And there's a link on, you can look at it on YouTube, well, they make a John Bull in Blackburn.

And that is, they get mincemeat, he calls it savory mincemeat. The trap it between two big bits of potato, slices of potato, straight from it, a shrimp from it, a hound from it, then batter it and drop it in. And I thought it looked delicious, just wondered if you'd ever heard of that one. Never heard of it. Given your reputation as a congenit liar, I'm assuming you've just made it up.

No, I haven't, I promise. There's some kind of trap. There's no trap down, say I thought that was a really nice idea. It sounds nice. And the man who demonstrates it, if any of your listeners would like to go and have a look, he also follows it up by doing the Ratatouille version of the John Bull. I think it's worth a look. I really do. Anyway, I just wish we'd take this thing on the road

and visit these various towns and some along the delicacies. Oh, I love the deep, yeah, do you know what I tell you is something about when you say on the road, yeah? Yeah. When am I used to tour about 20 years ago? We used to go around in the tour bus trying to find a restaurant. I mean, you used to be a pub place place or whatever, that actually did mashed potato.

And it became really difficult because you can't microwave mashed potato. You can. No, I promise you, you can't to a satisfactory level. The starch separates from the potato. Well, you just took me word for it, Andy. A restaurant that serves mashed potato has got a chef in it, or at least someone cooking.

So we used to find a place, and if it had mashed potato, we'd stop there. And then when we'd finished the meal, we'd go out into the car park, and we'd let off, we had rockets, you know, if I work rockets, we'd let off one to 10 as a rating of the mashed potato. And we were somewhere in the Midlands, it was where the Great Train robbery took place.

Might not even be the Midlands, but I know it was near the where the Great Train robbery took place. It was near a railway line. Near a railway line, yeah, that's all I'm saying. And we let off a ten, the most beautiful mashed potato we'd ever have. But sadly, it led to our rest. Well, you know, so that's a young and the young of that, isn't it? It's down, isn't it? Yeah, beautiful potato or beautiful celebration.

How did you find out that I had mashed potato? Or would you like, stop somewhere, go in and ask? Well, you see, this is before the internet, exactly. Before the internet, but we are the Toa manager. Ah, someone would go ahead. Not the one you'd go ahead the tour manager. Ah, someone would go ahead. No, they didn't go ahead. Do you know what I'm here? It asked me a very good question.

I wonder what he did. I wonder if he, did we stop at a pub, did we have mobile phones 20 years ago? Just about, you know, might have been mobile phone. Maybe he used to stop and then phone up. You never had one of them big ones with a pull out arioles. But this, you know, that's,

so that was, that was an interesting day. I'm just in terms of highs and lows. If anyone there out there's experience a low at the moment, there could be a high just round the corner. And if they're experiencing a high, you know, enjoy it whilst you can, because you could be arrested. Did the, um, the local residents sort of know what the fireworks were about? No, and I presume that's why the police were called and now it's two of us were stuck. If they'd been alerted and said, ''Vic and Bob are in town.'' But you might hear some fireworks, don't be alarmed, it's just a much better to a written system than God.

Well, I think what you're thinking is something like what the waterboard would do is that put a letter through everyone in an airboard and saying, this following Thursday, they can bomb, we'll be testing my potatoes, the whatever, the rosin crown. Should you hear any loud bangs, that could be up to 10. Yep. Don't panic, it's just their rating system. If you do hear up to 10, take this as a good sign and congregate towards where the sound source is. Good potatoes be there. If you're a potato lover. Yeah. So, yes. But if we should have done it that way, I mean, we didn't, you know, because I haven't got any staff. I mean, it sounds as if, I mean, obviously, you TV career is pretty much finished now. Yeah. You're self-envic.

Yeah. But maybe you're doing something like this could get you back on the big screen. What, telling these stories? We're just going around doing the pateat the thing, but like in a modern style. I would, if I was, I'd say, thank you for caring and saying an opportunity there. I think that maybe I'd like to do it for a syrup pudding. You know, I like, can I just say something?

Yeah, I was only kidding. I think it'll be shit. Ha ha ha ha ha you tweeted a picture this morning of Crimden Dane. Yes. Crimden Dane. Crimden Dane. Crimden Dane. Satan Carole. Yeah. And just by chance, it's called it serendipity, if you want. See, that caravan sight is where I went from our first holiday without my parents. Oh. It's like mobile homes, plus the campsite.

Yep. And right on the coast, right on the coast, or rather a beautiful bit of coast, really. There is. The film, the likely ads film there, you know, at Cremundan. They did, that's true. And we were stared then, they had like a little cabaret room and everything. Yep. And an older married woman. I'm only 14. So it's 13, 14.

What you don't go all the way by yourself each 13? What you wouldn't have liked to have. I'd love to have but I wouldn't have got away it. Well, because you have to clean it for yourself. No, there was about six of us in one of them caravans. They'd been a fire at the campsite. And he was intense. That's your job, isn't it? You've got it in right at the end, so it hasn't landed. But anyway, the point being that a married woman, sexually assaulted

me, it was my first experience of that sort of shenanigans. Never been so scared in me life. She probably wasn't at all, but to me she seemed like 50. Right. Tried to take my- I'm not sure that anybody wants to go on any date, they'll get this. Okay. Is this where your fear of fatlasses comes from? I don't fear them, I celebrate them. In fact, I'm doing a song at the end this short tonight, which is a celebration of the big girls. Well, could you do that now,

because I've pretty much had enough? Oh, you haven't had a gig, yeah. All right, well, I thought that I would like to sing a song and now I would like to sing a song and now I would like to sing a sort of tribute to the big girls, Fat Lasses, that we often mention earlier. I call them love puddles, yeah, right? Because you know there's often just like a put, if when they sit on a bed, it's a bit like a head with a puddle. A puddle of sweat. Well, a puddle of flesh. So I'll sing an

isit tribute to them and what they bring to us. So here we go. Love puddles the clouds of love, the puffed ball mushrooms from heaven above. Floating harbours of porcelain hue, the budwara angels will comfort you. They're waiting, flowing free, undulating constantly. Love puddles the clouds of love The puff ball mushrooms from heaven above. This has been Athletical Mince and I would like to apologize for the song that Bob just did. Um, please tune in again next week. It's fall, and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

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