Athletico Mince - The Beardsley Joke Collection Vol. 1

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Some of Peter's best jokes from his joke book up to and including episode 80. There's only one Peter Beardsley... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Inau'r yw'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llwysio'r llw The mountain in the Eccarion, the other one care what the narrow side it is. Now Meht is in those red-choose school bags, he's by such a... Just a second. a fwy oedd yw'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith first is I went to the local video shop and I said can you borrow a backman forever said no you have to bring it back you have to bring it back to my village I've got some I thought the graph had gone out of the wrong way. I went into the shop and I said, can someone sell me a kettle? The blog said, the blog said, Ken Moot, I said,

where is he? Where is he? One paid a pay it's free There's only one paid a pay it's free Say it then, Bob Then you are at Sini Shop Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith I was in the jungle, there was this morning wave of Chennai open air. I said you don't need Chennai open air for a banana. He said no, this is for the foot and coasted. I told my wife and girl, a job at the ball in Ali.

Ten minutes she said. Sally, 10 minutes she said. Pshh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No, it's a permanent pause that we played. Pshh! I went there, Doc, and I said I've got a problem, you know. I always have a dump every morning at 6 o'clock. He said, what's the problem with that?

Then don't get up like that. It's really cold, but God so, I'm asking you. He said, what do you think? If one of them were, I said, I wouldn't do it if you bled me. I can't tell the one about the elephant like, because the wife says it's too, too movie slow. I'll say it by when you hear it. One piece of baby is only one piece of pity. I am a'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Mae'r systeu'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

Mae'r gwaithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r and his first day, and he just sacked him the circus. He's so into fun-fair dismissals. Ha ha ha ha! I burnt my wire in the pizza last night. I must use a lower setting. I went to the zoo the other day. and... I went to the zoo the other day The only animal there was a dog

It was a shit zoo One piece of a bracelet There's only one piece of a bracelet One piece of beer free, one piece of beef, please, no I'll tell you Bob and you wait, ta-da. And you wait, Bob, and give you two jokes, don't need your book before I go ahead,, So he's me, but he's saying which one you like. I just got the better card, and I opened it, and York, you're putting it out. It was from Aunt Bessie. I don't like that one there.

Oh, yeah. I don't like that one there. I'm... I'm... Why they don't... They don't... They push his girlfriend off the wall So he could see a crack I'm... I was wondering

They were looking Why this... Why the ball kept getting bigger And and bigger and then it hit me? I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm not a good thief, I'm got a magic track to ignore, it turned into a field. So I knew it. One, two, three, four, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, I've got a magic truck to ignore, it turned it to a field Tears So I knew it

One peat that beats me, there's only one peat that beats me You know, cheers, cheers, love Anywhere, I beg on the wood I'll tell you a couple of jokes for me joke, but like you know, it's nice cheering you up nice and cheering, cheering jokes. I've got some jokes like, that I once you know where someone walks into a bar, just bear with me on the open-up book. I am a'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw' Have you seen my brother? In the bathroom where he says, I don't know what they look like. Two men walk into a bar. You just thought at least one of them would deduct.

At least one of them would have looked. Tsk! A pair of jump leads went in Urbana, I was wondering. The par tenders said, OK, but I don't want you starting anything to get seen. Now, this one is my favourite. A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving the drinks. The horse asks, what you're staring at, aren't you ever saying a horse, tending the bar before? And the father says, it's not that. I've just never thought the parrot would have sold the place. So I think I'll leave it your hand.

One Peter Beasley, dead on the one Peter Beasley. One Peter Beasley, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, Peter, Peter, one Peter, Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one Peter, one I was just up and up and up and up and up. I went to the doctor's near the end, he said, you've got eight racons here. I said, oh God, not that as well. He's a little bit of a... This bloke said he was gonna attack me like you know with his guitar. I said, was going to attack me like you know with his guitar. I said is that a threat?

I don't know. It turns out you know that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn't make the sound of a coconut. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime band from the local zoo. Six, six, six, eight, the neighbour of the beast. I got into a fight one time with a big bloat, and he said, I'm going to mop the floor with your bitch. I said, you'll be sorry, and he said, oh yeah, why?

I said, well you won't be able to get into the corners very much. One peat and a pee-tree, they're done and one Peter Beethley, one Peter Beethley, see that Bob. Anyway, I've got my joke at all. I don't know whether it's good enough to joke, it's actually an old joke and I was part of the joke so I thought you might like to read it. So I do it and go for it. Just cut that one's right. I said the end is part and I was on the pitch being interviewed by Alan Shea, and I knew and they would try to prove that I wasn't sick like you know because people think I might be like you know

and touch and go and eat really What is 15 plus 15 and I guessed and I said 18 And the joy George is in the crowd starting give me another chance give me another chance So well he says I will give him another chance. He says what's five plus five beat it And I said 90. You know, I thought it was L there about like, but the cause is wrong. And all the crowd start shouting, give me another chance.

Give me another chance. Well, Alan really kindly really says he gives me another chance. He says, Peter, what is 2 plus 2 and I think about it quite deeply and I give the answer for and the crowd get up once again and start showing give them another chance Give me that little chance. So that's you know, it was just because my name was in the affidavit. So say your Bob, One Peter Beatsley, There's only one Peter Beatsley.

Say Bob. I haven't got my joke but with me, but I'm so, I'm gonna do a couple of jokes what I can remember in my own like. I used to play the triangle in a regular band, but I left because it was just one thing after another. I tried to explain to my foyeron that it's perfectly normal to ship your pants but he still making fun of me. Not to have you got anything for excesses wind and he gave me a kite. Say Bob, one p.a. be it's Lee, is on one p.a. be it's Lee. One p.a. be it's Lee. Say about. I might do it and while they'll feel jox for me, uh, jox but before I go out lightly no so just pick up me jox up and gotta be a kid.

God Batman and Robin, Robin says to Batman, the Batman movie won't start. Batman says, well check, the Batman movie! The Robin says, what's a Terry? The man is interrogation, says, I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present. You are the lawyer, says the policeman Exactly, so where's my present? The fact that later He will hear about the fire that they come to eat They hate with intense

I got sacked from my job at the back of the deal I might, actually, I might have started doing nothing. I'm not doing anything, I'm just doing nothing. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything.

I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything, I'm Peter B. Flee One Peter B. Flee Say Bob Anyway, erm, Bob, I've got me little Joe Book out with me, sure I'll just do it, yeah

Cooked a little Joe chino before I go. So you go with him, hope you like him. I say eggs are going up again. That was the part of your chickens. I had the snip, you know, the second of me, like, because I didn't want any kids. But when I got home, they were still there. And I was in the cemetery, I didn't know, saw a blow, it up from behind the grave stone morning I said no I'm just having a shit

me sorry Bob's door one peter beasley there's only one peter beasley see you Bob Mae'n pwis i'n bwis i'n bwis i'n bwb. Mae'n bwb, mae'n cwpneudio'r cyfnwch i'n eu ffwm i'n dio'r cybwch. Ia'r bwllwch, yw'r stwllwch yn cael yna, yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith I'm not a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm off now right here, go and start me, there was no downpite for a bit, I mean, you know, the Christmas display, but I'll just tell you a few jokes from the joke, but like before I get going. So, I met the bloc at the garage yesterday called William L. What the other nut up there?

I also met the bloke who went down the window so absolute ledge. Have you tried that new coconut shampoo? Or it leaves your coconut's not unfabulous. So, begin at Long Lake Safari Park today. So, at Christmas Eve, I'll be in the air I'll leave you, leave you gone enjoy it with your family in the tub Yeah, one peater busy And I'll be one peater busy

One peater busy I've got me drunk but with me so I'll give you a cup of old ones, ain't you know, I mean, I look a little, because I look a little like, so I think there was a kid that meant a decent school, joke, go kid, or I can't walk up eventually. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Remains to be so I Went to the doctor's you know and he said don't eat anything fat I said what like make a Not is it not so no fat Don't eat notes So

I'll see you bye-bye not to To upset that I was in the job later. I'm sure I'll be back right cause there's only one Pete and B3. One Pete and B3. It's just the one Pete and B3. Just the one paid the bills. Oh, before I go out there there's a couple of jokes that I never remembered. I get a you might like to hear them up. When UH is 63rd day right now, my granddad started walking, Charles Martin today. He sent me five notes and we have no

foot-level areas. So, two men like you know, sat in the library like you know, ones who asked you the, how do you read marks? I think it comes from Sydney, I mean it's just the one. But I never thought my chiropractor would impose my posture, but my stanker... It looks so good, there you go. Anywhere, Bob-in. I say you're Bob-in. I just thought I was lit now. See your princess. Yes, he thought he's all right with his bit of butter.

I've got a cook with a joke, like for me, joke boxer. And you've got a girl with a joke, like for me joke boxer, and you're gonna grow, you know, see what you think. So I bumped in and I'll make it late and I asked him what he was up that. I said, oh, he's charity work, yeah. He said, no, it's wet and sparse. So it's like this, like kids one boy, entirely. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are so good at it. So, my doctor told me to take up an activity

like you know it keeps me out of the pub right. So I started smoking. Not okay, I'm not over. I'm maybe my wife you know she texted me it's just said wish you were here. You know She does that every time she visits the 70's. Thank you, Rulage. So there you go, our wife will be out soon, like so. I'll sign off. One peat herb is there. There's only one pe Pay urbeatsley.

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