Athletico Mince - The Homeowner Collection Vol. 2

Episode Date: April 28, 2023

Here’s the best of Barry Homeowner from episodes 42 to 68… ciao bella! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Barry Olmone has been in touch. Okay. He's given us an update. Yop, yop, yop, yop, yop, yop, yop, yop. Hi, Barry Olmone here just to quick update on my incredible life and supporting infrastructure. So recently I've been full on forensic with my kitchen island shine and buff routine. So it's 4'x3' epic slab of white marble effect Korean.

First to strip off down to my Tommy Hiffs under kegs, they hug my butt like a couple of spuds in a condom. Then I put on a pair of white slippers that I half-inched from the Hotel de Valle, the Hotel de Valle in Bristol. I was there for a regional sales conference, I networked like a fucking athlete who just happens to be a business bastard. Bumped into Sue Preston from Guildford, popped a banana in her handbag and gave her a wink. Didn't come to anything. Should have probably left my door open.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, next I climb onto the island using my folder way multi-step height adjusting miracle gadget and remove all dust with a microfiber cloth wrapped around the slippers. It attracts dust like eye attract opportunities and leads. Next up, I drop a moisture bomb on the slab. It's an excised lump of number seven

protect and perfect intense and advanced moisturizing cream. It's the total shit and could bring life back to an axe handle that's been abandoned in a Greek mountain donkey shelter. What I'm saying is that it penetrates deeper than a hung butcher. Then I take a break a rune, and enjoy a camper-tue chew from my George Clooney endorsed coffee unit. It's barris to quality without all the Tom Tittery and fuck about us. Extra shot two sucras and a pixie pinch of cinnamon dust. Then it's time for the buff. I slip off the Tommy Herpes quick sniff to check for Tarnish, and tie a king-size soft-conditioned bath towel into a nappy. Back up the multi-steps, and I ride that

slab like a power drill in hammer mode. Might seem like a lot of trouble to go to for a kitchen slab, but I'm telling you brothers and sisters. Once I dismount the sheen is as spectacular as the talk on my Audi TT I just sit back in my roadman trackie sip on a camper to chew and wait for my Business phone to start chopping like a sparrow in a fat ball factory so that's my Update Bob see well thanks Barry I know it was worth it. Oh god, that made me feel a bit sick. Wait, what, what, they just said? All of them.

You don't like it? Oh no. Oh, I don't think you mean me. I think he means alright, don't you? The stuff with the banana was, it felt wrong. Barry, homeowner. Yes, please. He sent me.

Nice of Barry. Busy lad. Yeah. He sent me like, is it Christmas speech Christmas message something like that he'd get a job as a CEO at a football club one day wouldn't he honestly freaking wood is question in the North East you know what I mean So he's he sent me on a tape you know all right yeah so you can hear it Right so you're Barry home owner here So you can hear it. Right, so you're Barry Homo here.

So listen, I'm a success in all aspects of my life that I lead on behalf of the community and my life peers. You can be too if you follow my seven simple rules to make yourself an achievement magnet in the coming new year. One, drink fresh-grown coffee. Is that his voice? Yeah. One, drink fresh-grown coffee to give yourself an energy squirt when entering an important day segment. Could be a sales pitch, a client conflict resolution bout, or even

a romance pitch. This is why they call me the camper Chiu-chiu express and you should get on board if you want your destination to be Prosperity City. 2. Stay in touch with technology advancement and development. I'm basically functioning at the level of an artificial intelligence unit at the moment. I'm at the cutting edge of the achievement knife. Alexa, turn off the dehumidifier in the basement den. Alexa reset the burglar alarm to Agent 007.

Alexa, subscribe me to Spotify Premium. I don't want any adverts interrupting my lady gripping sessions. Make your kitchen island the center of your life as a non-Indian person in the United Kingdom of Happy Days. To chew these words onto your physical mind, I am a big hitter. Take care of your physical appearance, hair sculpt every morning, oil your thighs after every soil drop, and make your slacks a-line every time and your shirt loose and flirty. Be ready and able to receive the love and adoration of others. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, big point. If a lady takes your fancy, pop a banana in her shopping trolley. If the boss gives you a hug, pop a cigar

in his briefcase, and if a colleague helps you, slip a pork pie in their pocket, all these gestures will be appreciated and should lead to influence and favour gestation. Finally, remember to switch mortgage provider every two years, switch energy supplier every 12 months and poor for war, and don't forget to fear the Kraken. Oh, that's it. Oh, that was a nice tip. That was a nice tip. Don't forget to fear the Kraken. Yeah, so he weirdy saw sorted in his life. But he fears of mythical, mythical creature.

Hi, yop, yop, yop, yop. Just checking in Barry Homoana here to update you on my incredible UK lifestyle. So I wanted to get myself well ahead of the winter weather curve, so I had some work went round to the Gaffa Rooney this week to install a wood burner in my walkthrough lounge kitchen diner. It has a heat output efficiency rating over 90%. That's getting pretty close to the percentage of deals I close within the first 80 hours, first 48 hours of a negotiation initiation. I burn a mixture of beach, chestnut oak and ashwood yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if I was a wood you know, I would be a Japanese cherry

Looks beautiful smells heavenly and is as tough as a senior negotiator from my purple bricks That's a bit of a business joke Had the Audi valeted by the Polish Gang at the Garden Centre Car Park, yeah, just one look at me and the new I wanted the executive hand wash with gold level buff and polish. I sat in the car sipping on a locally sourced camper, chew chew, as the forens crawled around its bodywork. Bodywork. I couldn't help but think about the incredible success I've made in my UK life.

And what an inspirational, aspirational example I was, setting to these migratos. But your laugh for that may not be with me. In some ways, I am a migrant, you know, because as you probably remember, my soul is in India, but my physical self is UK-based. Got my new platinum debit card through from the bank this week, 5K instant credit if required. I doubt it.

An access to some incredible benefits. Free COMPETUTION YOU on production of the card of Petisserie Valerie. Non-priority access to the BT lounge at Gatwick, 10% of Hatson umbrella. 10% of Hatson umbrella at Fenix, it's an incredible tool. Anyway, my lunch break at the Momo having a protein smootherunny and a chickpea and hairy mint leaf unsourbred. I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up into the business sky, making love to a golden eagle. Ciao and have a beller on the house. Barry there.

No more and I still wouldn't go for a pint with him. You wouldn't? No. No. It would be intolerable. Well, you're probably right. Right. So I promised Andrew, I'll just finish with the musical version of Barry Hall and his this LinkedIn biography profile, personality gate or whatever it is. Whatever, let's have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hello Rooney, thought you might like to get familiar with my unique biography connection gate Go filing my persona incredible us It gets to my essence without filler and brings you in deep to my UK persona and live sphere I'm hoping to become an influencer you know like Deepak Chopra So here go Starts of course with a professional headshot next to the Audi TT.

Eastern European skinny jeans by Pepe, white Egyptian cotton shirt from the TJ and the Mac. Grace Bex in right hand, Artisan can for tutu in the other. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Didn't quite reach the bridge there. I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, Make it love in a Turkish fobo. Oh, a cloud in a Turkish fobo. If a picture says a thousand words, This snuffles a thousand bottles with spirit brothers tears. Name Barry, State as homeowner,

Base physical, the UK. Base spiritual, India, employment, real estate, Hasdai Lai, young Imran Khan, Spiritual India, employment real estate, hair style and young immigrant come. Secure orientation north to south by the pleasure dome. I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up. Up into the business sky and you'll feel, feel like you're making love Make it love in the Spanish Yacht Club

The Spanish Yacht Club I head to my office in the TT Returning at myring plants Is with a wink and an inspirational pucker of my lips My personal electoral assistant Alexa Figgins outlining my priority agenda. Meetings, activities, nourishment requirements, all spoken at breakneck speed because if Alexa loses a single business second, I'll break Alexa's fucking neck. That's just the locals, I'm a pussycat, and now I'm gonna chill down I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, In the Spanish GALYA! Barry, see-home owner.

You enjoyed the aloctonet. Yeah? You really get it right. Yeah! Hello guys! Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup,

yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup'm Barry, C, Holmowner. What's the C4? Salon ships it. It's been an incredible week, even by my outrageous standards. Basically, I'm shitting into a golden pot of triumph. Let's make a list of rune. At one, I've upgraded my kitchen lighting rig to LED. I've now got the equivalent of 12. Yeah, you heard it right. 12.100 watt-boles focused directly on my camper-too-too hub. Flick a button and their focus swivels to my hot desk in Maginarium. At two, I just topped up my tax-efficient iso before the co-off date of the 5th of April.

It's a tax-reum-brelo from my savings, and the side of that umbrella reads, I won't let you down. At three, I made a move on the young Asian girl that's just starting in the letting department. Popped a banana in a handbag and a caulge yet in a desk drawer. Don't think it will take long for the penny to drop and even less time after that for a nickers to do the same. I know, I know, I know it's bant. Oh, man.

At four, I've shaved my entire body with a Japanese shishuuki knife. Now I'm a smooth. Now I'm a smooth as a pelicans under twaddle. I rub oil of plum into my golden pelts every evening. Before bed I scrape it off with a spatula and use it as a lubricant for my kitchen island. A five took the TT to be hand washed and waxed by the Polish migratos. waxed by the Polish migratos. The great lands. They're great lands. They're going high into the business sky, because they work. Then board a rose for myself at the garden center. If you don't love yourself, then in my case, you're missing a big time. Anyway,

Moustache Aruni got a Skype call with a chick from the Rygate office. Big life changing milestone watershed moment for her. She's about to fall in love. Chao Bella, with an extra slice of wonderful on the tippity top. I'm Barry C. Homeman. I'll take you high into the business sky. Barry Homeman has been touched you want to hear from him? Definitely do, yeah. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, androo.

As if you didn't know, it's Barry C. Holmoner. What's the C-4? My admirers ask sailing ships in, I always repry and their lives are enhanced. I've been asked by one of the normals who worship me to introduce this post podcast and pass on to your small segment of my nourishments. You want to touch the business sky then give Barry see a try. Never look back only forward unless you're reversing your Audi into the service bay Take your campitude you skinny and ask for it extra hot that way the chick behind the counter will know you can take the heater

Rooney drink three liters of aqua water a day minimum. I keep a water bottle attached to my bum bag like a pistol Only this one fires hydration not devastation and I won't let you down, I'll just take you up! I'll be to the business guy! You will feel, oh yeah, like you make it love! Make it love to an aging Frenchman! When you enter a room, make yourself the center of attention. Top loudly, laugh loudly. Adopt a wide leg stance and pull your slacks of high so there's another simple lump up

front. Moisturize every morning. My thighs are pretty dank chunky so I apply a sliver to the crease, either side of my balls. If you're chatting to a lady in the office, place your foot on a desk and hold up a nun and next to you and me and that won't let you down as those take you up up up up up up into the business sky and you feel feel like you're making love make it love your sewage out, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa with your business card. Carry some rice cakes and then sold in nuts and your man back to hand out to the ladies. White socks suggest athleticism.

A digital watch suggests an understanding of size. But the Shakerman's hand stroke, the parromb with your finger, so they know it's intentional. And this won't let you down. It will take you up, up, up, up, up to the business sky Where you will feel like you make a love Make a love in a Donald Duck won the... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get out! Come on! That's Barry. That's a a very good. He's on form. He's on form

Hey Barry's been such a Yeah, as you got a wavid at p3 m4 here. Let's find out. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah Barry see homeowner here. It's the time of the year when I go xxxl. On the performance and life achievement scales. You want to join me on a moonwalk across the pleasure scape? Then here's some simple festive guidelines to make you more like me. And I know that's what you want. December the 7th.

Ping off Christmas greetings to your contact list! Keep it simple, be more like Barry, be less like you, love the homeowner! December 10th, go on a deep dive online shop for your gift of runes! Cut bless winkling tool, add to basket, Sherlock Astray, with undiscratch base, add to basket, Cat-R-R, add to basket, Wi-Fi boosting window film, add to basket. I won't let you down! I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up Feel like you make you love Make it love and turquoise footwear In your experiment with Atabasca

Get the Picharuni December the 14th, Papa Banana, wrapped in tinsel into your favorite lady's handbag Grab a tray of Campitude shoes from your local wild bean and take them in for the lads at the Audi dealership You never know when you might need an invite to a model launch. 18th, hair cut, ask for Imran Khan with a Mark Lawrence in Highlight. That's the very best of Pakistan, UK hair statement I won't let you down.

I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up to the business sky, but you feel, feel like you're making love. Make a love to a caromac mountain. Love to a caromac mountain. The cathedral to San Guani on mainland Spain. Enjoy a camper-proof room in the cathedral square and pop a gherkin in the waitresses apron. That's Jesus' done. 24. Crack open the shampanya and fill up some glasses on your kitchen island just in case some

dude or doodaloo pops around. December 25th, Octa Monson the TT, a nice relaxer, broke fool on the sofa watching UK gold on the TV at round. I'll tell you one thing, I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up. I'll go to the Christmas sky, you feel. Feel like you're making love. Making love to Christian Dior's Butler

Yeah Barry C. Merry Christmas Wow He's up for Christmas, right up for a Jesus Christian Dior's Butler Andy, I've had a blog, I've had a blog in from Barry Hormone. Okay. It's nice of him.

Lovely. Yeah. Does he like to say what he's got to say? Yes. It was all then. Barry Hormone here with this week's Inspirational aspirational blog. Do you want to stand in static stillness or do you want to move on up, up, up into the business sky?

If it's the ladder then you are in good hands, the hands of a motivational genius. If you've got the desire then I can lift you higher. Today I want to focus in on micro moments, the little things that can make a big big difference. If the flip chart is your primary presentation tool, then keep it well maintained. Make sure its hinge is dust and grease free to ensure it's smooth and easy action. Do the same with your office chair, especially if it's a swivel. I can achieve a full 360 swivel with one small push against the floor. Wouh! Hey boss, maybe I can action that for you. Get you noticed, get you energized for spotting opportunities for going forward.

I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up. Open to the business sky. And you feel, feel like you make in love. Make in love on a Swedish tugboat! If you're having a physical face to face with a client, stand closer than you normally would. Hook one thumb into the pocket of your slacks, and occasionally lift the other hand onto their shoulder.

That way they will know you are ultra-masculine, but not afraid of intimacy. They may also get a whiff of your links nodding them. If you sense you're producing groin vapors, rub some orange peel onto your gusset. And remember, the mirror never lies, you are gorgeous. And I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, Up into the business sky, and you'll feel, Feel like you're making love!

Making love on the skater's chipshop! Fill your life with inspirational and aspirational itemry. They are your reward, they are your incentive a society, an espresso machine, Croatian bullet belt, potato ricer, pistachio grinder, TJ and the Mac blouse ons, roof tiles for plate conversion. Place an A1 size portrait of yourself above your bed, that way every morning you can look up and say, I believe in you and everything you are trying to achieve. I tell you what, one thing I can promise. One thing I can promise, I won't let you down! I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up into the business sky and you'll feel,

feel like you're making love, making love in a Polish water park. Oh yeah! That was nice to bury, wasn't it? Yeah, that was, I don't know, it was lovely, it was lovely micro moments. What's for that, Barry? Micro moments. Thank you.