Athletico Mince - The McClaren Collection Vol. 1

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

Here's the origin story of Steve, Casper and the Fat Lass, from his first Mince mention up to the kitchen drama of episode 23... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know this that you asked on Twitter and you were asking what is Steve McLaren doing right now? What do the people Steve McLaren doing right now? What do the people think he's doing right now? We can't know. Of course we can. Firstly because we're in a studio here and we're not with Steve McLaren. And secondly, when I asked the question, it was like, It was five hours ago.

He is at the moment. Yeah, he's a ship shifter on the leave. And he's reverted to his invisible state at the moment until a suitable managerial opportunity comes up. So what do you reckon he's up to then? Steve McLeod, well, I've said it before here, I think that it's true love, in that track sense, his one true love is carpets. Right. It's what he wants to be.

He's what he wants to be, so I imagine he's wondering around in a grocery store, wondering around a carpet tick. Is it called carpet tick? Carpet shop. Carpet tick, I think it's called carpet right. And like he's got suit or so that he is occasionally approached as if he's an assailant. Oh, you think he's-

Excuse me, do you work here and night, any bluffs it's? Yeah. Do you reckon it's one of those situations where he hasn't told his wife that he's lost his job and he still goes out every day. And he goes to the car. And he goes down the car with shop pretends to be a member of staff. Yeah. That and people out there.

As he go, wife. McLaren. Yeah. He's got at least one wife I would reckon. You reckon. You just say, oh, you reckon, wife, because he's a man. Well, he just looks like someone who's downt-trumped you assume he's got a wife You said last week that you lost your vision into a roofer. What one was that true? No?

All right, so is there a two? There's not a two is that I just Born it out of the water. I know what we denial Now the denial might be untrue as well. You'll never know I never know. No. Well, I'll take it a pry won't it? might be untrue as well. You'll never know. I'll never know. No. Well, I'll teach you to pry, won't it? Hey, what's McLaren doing at the moment? Steve McLaren. We should try and update that. What's your guest there? Diggin and Griev. He's Diggin and Griev, isn't he a radio to for? He's a radio to. He's listening to radio to. He finds a quite soothing. Yeah. Well, he's Diggin. digging and thinking about why he's digging. What about you, what you're doing?

I reckon, just come through with that. I reckon he's in a park on his own, on a bench, flask of soap, a powdered soap that he's made up in this flask. From north. Yeah, from North. And I'll maybe talk into a fat lass about carpets, baby. Your convince he's a carpet salesman, I... Oh, he's a carpet salesman. Yeah.

You might be in barbed wire bed. I said, you know the truth is, he's probably in barbed wire bed, I said, and he's just loving it. Well, he probably isn't though, is he? You don't think so? I think your answer's probably more accurate. You think you said about the sack in? Well, he probably isn't though, is he? You don't think so? I think your answers probably more accurate.

You think you're sad about the sack, him? I think he's just sad about everything. He keeps getting sacked. Yeah. Everything he does goes wrong. Well, you're all right, middlespray, he was all right at 20. So you get sacked at middlespray? No, he went to the England job.

Did he? Yeah. He was England manager. Yeah, it was England manager. I Hey, what Steve McLaren doing at this moment now caught you out there. Oh Steve McLaren right now today in Gods 2016 are reckoned he's sitting with a pen and paper and he's doing some sums Just doing some sums because he's thinking about getting himself one of them white vans

What see if he can make a living out of it himself or few light removals man with a van a man with a van McLaren man with a van maybe he's advertising the lot of paper or put a postcard in the post office window or in that bit in the suit market where they have you know where the cellpiece suites and things. I reckon he's thinking about that. He wants to be his own boss for a while. Yeah, of course he does. I mean, who doesn't? I don't think it's a great day for Steve today. I've got two images in me, Ed. I'm thinking, I'm thinking he's trying on some novelty oven gloves, but it hasn't resed a smile and he's just thrown in. It was flipping. As he get them off, as he get them off, he beard, you think? I don't really know.

I can just say, you know, that... Has he purchased them or has he just tried them on? No, I think he's... There's something going on in another part of the house and he's crept off because, you know, the way he feels at the moment, he's tried the gloves on thinking that would cheer him up and it hasn't worked.

But he could be a funeral, just smiling, grinning his face, is it? It's dead off, couldn't he? That state of denial that he lives in. But he is one, and this might also, you might also like to put this down as my joke. Oh, the time for your joke already? Well, no, I'm not worried about it.

I don't know. That's the ceremony saying it is the joke. Maybe Steve is trying to light a fag that he's found in the park here and he's saying, judge me after 10 matches. Do you see? 10 matches.

You know, I've accepted that. There's a story, there's a joke or... I bet it lights a fag with a match these days. Everyone's got light as everything. All right, so that's gone then. That's not your joke then. Well, no, now it's not my joke but I will be back. You can have another one later.

Oh I'll be back alright. I don't think you're allowed to do that. You've either got a joke or you're having to. You can't just deliver it and then go that didn't work. I'll try another one later on. Where's Steve McClaren then Andy? Where is he at the moment? That's a good question.

Where is Steve McClaren? Well do you know what? Our reckon is milking a cow. But it's not a real cow. Right. It's one of them ones, you know, you get them in the visit the farms and they're like a plastic cow but they've got work and teats and so the kids can have a go. And you don't get milk out of them. You only get water out of them. But our wreck I bought yourself one of them from a visit to farm when he was in Holland. He was getting liquidated. Yeah.

And I reckon there was an admin mix up and it ended up in quarantine for three years. So he's only just recently taking delivery of it. Yeah. And I think he's just trying to relax himself. I just squished in the way. Well, at the Tate. If you've been waiting three years for a bit of that tape action I imagine he is pulling on it yeah Well

Do you reckon he'd be rushing it? I do think you just take his time. Oh I think you'll have a very relaxed throat big smile on his face. Yeah, just just relax just sort of lid back Yeah, it loves the fat. It's um rhythmic a'r ymdyn ni'n gweithio. Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio' I know. Will I was having each other sort of thing? Yeah, and then the Alsacean bites him on the ass and... And milk comes out. And pisses on his beer box. Oh, poor Steve. Good times ahead for Steve, I reckon, no, I'm sure of it. Do you want any advice about health heart or...

Half health. Half dogs. Do you want any advice about health heart or health? Half rugs. Do you want any advice about health? Steve McLean's advice about health, because they surely can't put salesmen. Can't put salesmen, Steve McLean, but where is he? Have you got some advice? You'd like to offer up? I believe men think of Steve McLean as at this moment now,

and I've got it. Where is he? He's on his way to the bullplex in the minibus he's driving. Right. Yeah, short sleeve shirt, tie. Yeah. About eight fat losses in the back. Oh, I.

He's taking them to ballplex. Then they go into Frankie and Benny's. He won't go in with them. He'll read the probably read the mirror in the in the. What do you reckon it is? Is it a birth deer? Offers birth deer or is it a Hen Night gone wrong? Oh, I think it's just it's just like like the fatties from quite a large company.

You know what I mean? Right? They don't say it's fatties night out. No. But it's implied. Well they all know, they just don't say it. They say they're good friends, we seem to have a lot in common. Yeah, they do, they're all fat.

But they don't say that's what that's as quite fat man, myself. Yeah. I find that a little bit offensive. I've never noticed you were fat. Clarity held all you out, aren't you? McLaren. Steve McLaren. Steve McLaren. What's he up to right now? Well, earlier today it came to me. He was in his kitchen, right? In one of his shorts-leaved shirts with a tie, yeah? And he was showing off his big yellow snake. You know, I think they call Khan Cobb's Khan snake, however. What a Khan snake?

Khan snake is big glass that we are ex-round with, yeah? Yeah. But I think one of the reasons it came to me because it caused electricity in the universe, is that the snake did a little tard on his tie, little snake tard, and it was his balls club tie. Right.

So just after that, so I'm going back like about 50 minutes ago because I've had to walk to the studio It was a book. He was crouched over his sink with like one of those little foam pads That's got a rough edge. Yeah, trying to get the snake told off It cares me glancing through the lounge where the big lass was eating beans on top So that's I think I do with him. He's got a snake told and he's she eats his senses. He's not going to want anything to do with them. If she's going to sneak Todd on his shirt. She hits him. She's always displaying them, you know, she's like, you know, that's, that's my suggestion.

What does a snake Todd look like? Is it long? Like, like the animal that it's been emitted from? No, surprisingly. Um, I don't want to go. No, you always drag it towards the face. It's not. No, thank you.

Let's leave it out of. Let's, let's go. No, I do. I do not because I saw that episode have come down with me where she put the snake in the table. Oh yeah. And it toddyed up the table. It did. So thank you. I do know what a snake, a snake tod looks like. The circle isn't there. Thank you for that. Steve McLaren. What's he been up to? What do you think he's been up to? Well, it's only a tiny detail but I think he had a Papa John's last night delivered but it came whilst he

was feeding his snake and the big lass had it all but that's just a little detail. But he had this week quite a big occasion for him. he met up with the big lass at the service station where they had their very first date. He had his light blue shirt on, shorts leave, light blue shirt, you know from BHS, nice little wool, brown wool tie. Then halfway through the cauliflower cheese, he got down on one knee and he said to the big lass, will you come to the rope museum in Thwet one day with me big lass? And she said, fuck off Steve, your arms look like hot dogs made of milk. I wouldn't be seeing dead near them in a classy museum. And he said, love I could wear a long sleeve shirt. And she said, and I I could wear a long sleeve shirt and she said and I thought

this was quite touching she said no don't do that Steve because it just wouldn't be you okay it's quite elaborate isn't it it is a bit elaborate yeah did you what about you are any set in the car because the big glasses in the Zumba class any thought be allowed to sit in the wash but he's not it's always just sat in the car he always just sat in the car. He's just sat in the car, just running fucked off. Because he knows it's too far from the drive-on, then come back at the end of the hour. He won't be worth it.

So he's sat in the car, it's chewing. He's chewing, worrying about his snake, it's big yellow snake. Because he'd never left it for more than that, I would be fine. What's a quick snack for Steve McLean? Is it beans on toast or pot pie or a bullet weight a bit? A bullet weight a bit. But no it isn't, there's only you who eats bullet weight a bit. I think you'll find actually on the social media there's actually quite a small army of us now eating bullet weight a bit. I'm getting about 12 to 15

tweets every day. People who are seeing that they have been trying it out. Yeah, I mean, I just feel convinced that he's ready. So beans on sauce, man, yum yum yum yum yum. He says, yum yum yum, I am not thin. You know, he's not bothered. Steve McLaren. Are we there already with Steve McLaren? Mulder would you like to... I was ready for Steve McLaren. What is up to it the morning? Are you reckon? Well, I reckon, this is what I'm seeing under you, right?

I'm seeing the fat lass, yeah, there he's with. I think she's staring out the window, but she's eating the beans on toast, yeah. He's upstairs reading instructions for his power washer that you mentioned. Yeah. You know, his power washer, because he can't get it to generate suds

for washing his car. Right. So he's having a look at the his score of Octavia, I think it is. Do you think it probably is? I'm a bit, yeah. You've scored Octavia. When he's not driving the mini bus service. Yeah. He's a good driver, really.

I think he might be thinking to himself, I'm Steve McLaren, and I'm going to apply for the advanced, the Institute of Advanced Motorists, because I'm careful, responsible, I look ahead, I think ahead when I'm driving. He's like, I know how good I am, but I want a certificate to short the people so that I can talk about it. head when I'm driving. He's like, I know how good I am, but I want a certificate to short the paper so that I can talk about it. And he could, he could saw it, they're giving them a badge, yeah. Did he get a badge as well? He's doing, yeah. And he could saw

that onto the sleeve of a short sleeve. For when he's driving the mini bus. No, just when he's out and about, he says like down it down the garden centre away. Yeah. By the new attachment for his horse, horse lock and stuff and that. People say, what's that badge? Mr McLeod, he says, oh that! Oh that's because it's the Institute of Advanced Mortarists hoping that they'll say, oh what's that? Oh it's an Institute. He's just a technology that you're one of the better drivers. Any other on the right hand side, wouldn't he? On the right sleeve? Yeah. So when he's stopping at the lights, he just lifted up a little bit towards the window and whoever is in the

next lane, he'll just look across and go, oh, I see I'm dealing with the next one here. Oh, whoops, there's the LL at him pass. Yeah, I'll let him pass, yeah. I'm going to cut it. And yield to Mr McClarrode. The other thing is, and I don't know whether they're the same at the same time, you know, as yellow snake, his big yellow snake, he's got. However, there, at the same time, you know, as yellow snake, as big yellow snake, he's got, God, feeling it swallowing a dog chew, like your dog chew when it's made him spew up on the toilet carpet,

because I think Steve has a toilet carpet. Yeah. But he'll have a mat as well around the toilet warning, around the ball, even though hardly any be ever, and hardly ever be any spillages. No, because he'll have a really fast jet as long as he's careful as well. He probably rests it on,

I'm gonna say something like a half ruler. Yeah, like a plate, you know, like, he probably rests it on that, lines it up, and then bang! Yeah, that's a length of it. And that was nearly two points, Yeah, that was nearly two points. Of course, what it does is the added bonus, if he's got only, if the fat lacer

left any little Todd streaks on the back of the pot, it knocks them into touch. Yeah, he'll have a good EM as well, won't he? Oh, I'm saying he's got this arrangement. This like, no, I can't play it, you're going to think it didn't play. I mean, like just a flat bit of steel. Yeah.

The wall was. He just rests that lines it all. Like a pencil holder. I think what he did was at one point, he rested is dying onto a, I'll say a seven before steel plate. Yeah. He drew around it. Yeah.

And this just all happened kind of naturally and organically. He wasn't setting out to make this thing. No. He was just messing about one day and stuff that was lying around and thought, yeah, that little off cut would be useful for helping me with direction with me fast-paced, with clear and the fat-lasses streaks. Well, that's Steve McLaren anyway, I suppose. Well, I've got a different point of view. Okay.

But you're right. A half-term minute, Eric and he's out in the mini-buss and Eric and he's took in a group of disadvantaged kids up the Scottish borders. Yeah. The big last season we in Marbella. Right.

On another hen wake. It's the fifth one she's been on this year. Right. And she's staying in the same resort as Sam Alladais. Did you see that video of Sam Alladais? A little bit of a dance in Marbella no lovely time money yeah and i reckon that she's just text as Steve to tell him while he's in the Scottish borders that she's in the same resort as as big sam and he's pretending he's cool with it but he's saving really

you know he would be saving money so he started to get get really short tempered with the disadvantage kids. Yeah. And he's now talented at shut the fuck up. Oh, Steve. And he wouldn't, he wouldn't like you. He's pushed. Absolutely. He's pushed. Yeah. But it's going to end up with one of the kids, trekking knife him in the car park, a pottery world, isn't it? He's someone like that. Yeah. No, it's only when he's under, when he's under extreme pressure pressure you get the swears out of indoor. I don't think he ever swore with his manager in Newcastle or dobs. Absolutely not. He might have done once or twice with a new single manager but... He tries his best not to. I remember once he...

Standards and standards. He's still got standards, thankfully. I remember once he shut the bedroom door on his snake the last little... he thought the snake had followed him upstairs. To go to bed. But yeah, and we shut the door and caught the snake. Oh, fuck! And then he caught himself in the mirror. And the snake got like,

what? Like, and he's spued up on his bedroom carpet. So Steve, well, wherever he is, whatever he's doing, best wishes from us, Andy he's doing, best wishes from Rosanda. Yeah, always best wishes, all good, nothing bad. Good times ahead, I reckon, yeah. Swap Swap for Steve. Steve McLaren, did you hear about what happened this week?

No, what's he been doing? Put it in a nutshell. Big glass, run out of beans, which you've done the toast. So Steve bless him, go to the lovely lad, really Steve. So, don't worry love, put a bit of cling film over it, keep it warm and I'll pop down London to get you some beans. We took his big yellow snake with him, do he's been, do you know it's been, I told you that's been spewing up a lot. Bathroom and the bedroom, one of the bedroom, yeah.

So he took it with him, towel London, right? Round his neck. Round his neck, exactly, yeah, his round his neck. Not on a lead. No, he just wraps it around his neck, yeah? And it sometimes curls, it's tail, just up his, is short sleeve on his shirt, but it basically is around his neck.

That's his gap. Protection thing, isn't that, it makes it feel secure? Yeah, well what snakes do is, is that if you trap them, they use the tail to pretend to bite you so that you'll leave go of them, you know, anyways, that's another matter. So the girl behind the counter, shatters herself when she saw the snake, right? And because she, she like screamed, right? The snake spilled up again, right? On the lottery display. Yeah.

Yeah. And Todd it up on, do you know the, you know, the dairy milk too for a pound on the counter. Todd it up and he was shot out of the shop, but the bugger was. Is he barred now? He barred from the shop? Well, he was barred with a snake, and he ain't letting go of a snake because he's got this problem.

Yeah, the snake's barred, but he's not gonna go back with it. Yeah, snake's not gonna go off at all the cards. So he gets on, wife blanked him. Sorry, fat last blanked him. Big last sorry, blanked him all night, and they just watched CSI Miami in silence all night Did she have the tourist on a tour?

No, she left it she left it there deliberately She had nothing to do. He just a mix to prove a point. Yeah, so that was a bit of a bad night for him on it and they yeah Anyway, Steve McLaren. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, let me tell you about him. What happened this week, yeah? Been in touch with his nervous. So Steve went out in the garden in one of the sunny spells, yeah? Yeah.

And he fell asleep. He's under the one of the umbrellas. But one of his knackers was popping out one of his shorts, yeah. And he got terribly, terribly sunburned. So he went in the kitchen and he got a ladle and he filled it with ice water. And he stood there with his knackers in ice water and the ladle fat last comes in.

Turns out that's the ladle she uses for a bit main pot. Oh right. It's a ladle a bit, veins onto her. Yeah. Toast, right? So she said, she got Steve. Yeah. He dropped the Steve. Steve, he dropped the... Steve! Steve! He dropped the ladle and called Walter onto a snake. Oh, and what happened to the snake? What's your

record? Spewed up. Spewed up. The snake spewed up on her like feather mules, how that she was wearing. And he had such a bad night. He didn't want to go on about his knackers, well killing him. And she didn't say, go on about his knackers were killing him and she didn't say what the what's the great sawing but sawing great British sawing bay yeah and didn't say what or so does she not brought the knackers up she knows she did she know what he didn't get a chance to explain I saw I said it's interesting she I wonder if she thinks he was doing some at Pervy but I wonder if it's tight he's short to it high up oh there but he wears other knackers he's got low knackers, low swinging knackers. I don't want to get into that, Andy. I tell you he's got low swinging knackers

because the owner of an alder. Really? Yeah. And what he does, you know, half time. Yeah. He just lowers them gently. He's got like a trough in the dressing room and he just lowers them into this trough of warm almond oil. Nice. And it keeps them lubricated. The ball, obviously, he shaves them, ball balls. Yeah. Really ball balls to keeps them lubricated. The ball obviously it shifts them, ball balls, really ball balls to call them and that's what he does. So Ronaldo as Boz it's cooling, it's lubricating so that when he's going at those electrics, during those stepovers you can catch your knackers on a step over, couldn't you? You could twist them't you could twist them you could twist them irrevercably yeah but when they're well oiled and lubricated they'll just slide over each other yeah basically yeah so yeah that's so I know I'm

agree would have been after the draw last night with Iceland if his balls haven't been warm and lubricated tell me Andy I was watching that on the telly here you've seen me telly what size you're in the jump on yeah what size you're in it is 33 I't think you see, but I think it's probably about a 27. Anywhere, and you only get to with the matches, because I ain't got a satellite, yeah. Anywhere's up. Are you just funny? I'm just going to go on about Steve the Clown sorts.

It's ever so quick, because it happened this week as well. He went the pet shop to get his mice with the snake, with the fat ones for the snake. And like she fell in love with this,-fluffy, gerb-al thing. Yeah, you know, Steve, look, Steve held it up to his chin, right? And he said, Oh, this is all it looks like when you straddled me.

Yeah. But what he hadn't realized was the snake was round his neck. Oh God. One frickin' bite bang. This little ampster furry gullypicking. Yeah, halfway down the surface. Let me know. Yeah. Oh, he's banned out of that shot now because of course obviously the fat lash spewed up the list grows and grows doesn't it yes he's

spewed up beans all over the pet shop floor anyway so enough for Steve McClaren Steve McClaren you know I've got me sources now he's had quite a way candy what's he been up to? Well, let me tell you. He and the big lass have really got into the great British sewing bee, you know. So he went down the abadashas or whatever it is and bought all the gear. His mum actually taught him to knit when he was young and he picked it up quite quick. And he thought he'd do a really long wooden long wooden woolen sleeve you know for his snake? The kid the snake one? Keep the snake one obviously yeah so we practiced right and he did some little ankle bands

for the fat last little woolly ones like what they used to wear in the 80s yeah and he did a little woolly warmer that's funny you know I mean mean? Just for himself, for himself for fun. How long was it? Well, never mind that Andy. And anyway, so then he got stuck into his alcohol at a snake, jumper, but it's like a boob chube for the snake, you know. Snakes leave. Yes, snakes leave, a couple of feet long or whatever,

it was just for the top bit of the snake, for its chest. He keeps its chest long. He gets a bit of chest in the wood, doesn't he? a'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r gweithio'r gweithio, o'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r g one of those bag for lives as it were and it just peeks over the top and looks at stuff as it's going as it's going on the shop But anyway, then Steve noticed it's like a big swelling around its throat and around its face and that's where he picked into the bag Um, do you know what had happened then? What happened? She'd she'd absolutely tugged the little Willie Wong over Oh man, she'd picked tugged the little Willie Wormer over. Oh man. She picked up the wrong one, tugged it over the snake.

So just as they were at the health bit, you know, with the parasitum all in that. Bang, guess what happens? Spio, spio, spio, up over the parasitum all over the piratin, over the cough syrups, everything. It's terrible incident. That speaks volumes to us about Steve's manhood, doesn't it? Well, there's a comparison that we made between a snake plate

and Steve's willy warmer than you know. Terrible Taylor. Tell us. Well, you don't like to think of a snake being restricted like that, but... No. ...suit mark it. Well, it turns out it was the right place for it to happen, because they sell the little first first aired kits and scissors.

Steve cut through it, discarded the woolly warmer and went out the shop, didn't get caught this time. Just left the spear all over it. The snip just sort of like breathing heavily because it just got its breath back. It's out for the count, it was the biggest spears. It's probably the full length of the snake in spewing you know great strain of it I'd like to tell you steam the clarin story and it's going back a bit it's about it's about a year old he might be in the frame for the England job

again you know oh that would be reassuring for all the England fans wouldn't yeah the um the last time and time and you'll understand why when you destroyed the last time that Steve McLaren and Roy Occianacci talked to each other. Oh we like to hear that story. He's telling me that story now. Right, well, Steve had invited Roy round for a beans on tour supper, yeah? Yeah. Around the house and there were chatting away about the fat lassas physiotherapy. Can I just ask, was it a formal supper at the table, or was it sort of like maybe he's sat on the sofa with them trees or maybe on bean bags on the floor?

That's quite an important detail, actually. They were in the kitchen diner, separate from the lounge. So, although it's like it's a formal setting that the big glasses set out you know napkins yeah and what have you it was just beans on toast or you know just as much it was many just stuck in the kitchen many beans as you want you know it's got 800 to tell you the real world she could glance at the kitchen but anyway so there's that there, chatting away about physiotherapy because you know, she had a big glass and her chest puts a lot of strain on her back, obviously. So she has quite a lot of physiotherapy and also she, if she

I'm sorry to go down this land, but if she has a Todd and she often does obviously with her veins and that, if she has a tard and she often does obviously with the beans and that if she has a tard it's quite hard for her to reach round right you know to wipe yourself and everything and she can if I don't know if it she can get a bit stuck in folds and that down there so I'm just trying to be delicate here so she sometimes has to really strain and if she's been very loose she gets stave up. What's her accuracy like? Is she accurate? Does she just support herself? She does try to separate before she sits but look but if she's been very very very very loose she's

coals down the stairs. I'm finished can you wipe me? It's up under the bed Steve. Yeah, and he takes a dishcloth off. It's absolutely fine. Anyway, so Steve was at the table boasting about his new comfort fits short sleeve like blue shirt, yeah.

And what he was the big thing about the stories is he'd found one that had like these breathable holes under the armpit. Oh, I. And it had a special polyester of resin in it or something that made it a really cool you know cool yeah is one of them that doesn't need to be ironed as well yeah not not ironing not ironing and temperature sensitive so you know you can so what he'd done to prove his point right it turned the heat in I've tell you

the so if he'd turn the heating right up in the house. Right, so that he could, I'd just to show off things, I'm fine, right, because I've got minion. Cool, nice. Well, sweating, are you right? So right, are you as it is, right? Right, I had a loose fit, not comfortable fit. Shirt. Primrose, you know, very light yellow, right, yellow. And he was buddy, you know, he says, well, I never imagined you a material. This is Egyptian cotton, it cost me 300 pounds. And he said, I'm feel really refreshed. You know, it is a bit warm and he is Steve, but I'm fine.

So, piss Steve off a bit, you know, I mean. So anyway, the wedding at the lounge after they've had the beans, this is getting too long for you, Andy. No, it's intriguing. Okay, well, they get, they're wet. They're wet to the lounge after they've finished the beans to watch an old quarrel episode that Steve's got on tape.

Yeah. His favourite one. And anyway, wife's, fat lasso, he's gone upstairs. Suddenly the call comes that night. Steve, I finished. Can you wipe me? Right. So Steve has to nick off out the room. Roy is really struggling with the hate.

We don't want to admit it, and he says, you're going to be out of me in a minute. He says that because he's made it, he's closed all the windows and everything, and he's put one of those like, snake things across the door, so the draft gets in or whatever. A splurber. Draft, excellent, I think.

So Roy, right, sees his chance, across the door so the draft gets in or whatever. Draft-excellent, I think. So Roy, right, sees his chance, goes over, picks up the snake, what he thinks is the snake thing, draft-excellent. Oh. Picks it up to throw it over there. Yeah. To throw it over there, the set-e.

Right. Just as he's at the top of the arch of his throat, it's fucking spumes. Like, it's full length comes out of it. All over his shirt, all over Roy's face. Because of course, soon as the snake saw Roy, he thought it was a fucking massive owl. You know, it's a pretty much a owl.

Yeah, a predator. Spooked all over him. Anyway, I've been going on too long, so Steve comes down with his stinkin' dishcloth. And there's the snake on the floor behind the... I'm pounding, no, we're spilled up, it's like half its size, you know, now. Roy's covered in spule and Bessie throws him out of the abdabababa and they haven't spoken since. So there you go. I just thought that story's pertinent because Hodgson's left and you know whatever. And McLaren's obviously back in the crib. McLaren! McLaren, surprise surprise. What you been up to? Surprise surprise and

he got a phone call from Roy Hodgson this week saying you know look we've been through very similar experiences we need to put the passby on because I don't know if you remember the last time that they met up in the snow exp you all over. All over Roy. All over Roy. And he's thrown out of the house and so on. Well, he's following him up and said, let's put the pass behind us.

Let's put the pass behind us. So they arranged again for a Roy to come around for dinner and Steve obviously by a nice short, had a nice short sleeved shirt on that the fat lass had brought him. When he arrived, Roy, to break the ice, he says, that bloody snake isn't allowed, is it? You know, just to break the ice. So they're left a bit and everything seemed more comfortable. And Steve actually, Steve actually explained he hadn't seen it all after the loan. He hadn't seen it, wasn't about Don't worry, the voices fake on for that as it were.

It's fake all. Anyway, so the fat lass, it's just leaving, gonna let him along, have a light of boys night. That's not a vibe. Xbox. Yeah, give Steve a little peck on his arm, just be loyal to sleep, that's where she likes to kiss him. She says, I've done a toast mountain, a big pan of beans, I'll see you later and says oh and I tied it up your DJ room In case you wanted to show Roy all your DJ equipment and that so she waddles out and her and the other big girls There were having a night out at Flames Disco. Yeah, Flames Disco

It was cults and 45s night, you know where the older lassas can make the younger fellas. Yes, so it obviously went anywhere. So soon she's gone. Steve says let's hate these beings really quick. I've got someone sure you're right. So he wanted to sure all his DJs stuff he's got like deck mixer to massive speakers. So they're fanning about, I'm sorry this is going on and on it. As he got the lights that go along the bottom, no this is quite like very coloured lights. I'm going to call it no, it's an upgrade. Is he more club DJ than then, you know, when it's quite, when it's a discourse and contemporary urban, and proper, you know, he downloads stuff from SoundCloud and that mixes everything. And so this start, he says to Rice, says, right, what's your favourite song? And

Rice says that one, you know, I've got a brand new convoy traveling through that. You know, it's that, and Steve says, I don't know, I'm doing something like that. So he gets a beat going, and so the start trying to fit in, I got a convoy to travel in through the night, to sort of thing, and the notice

that one of the speakers is really dead, it's really dull and stays out of Christ's sake. Me last, she's tired, you don't believe me, and she's pressed the speaker right up against the wall, so she's moved it about, let's have a look inside it, so I wonder what I could bake. So this is what happens, so pull it around turn it on, take the back off it. So the back off it, you know what's in there, don't you? It's bloody yellow snake isn't it?

The big yet stays big yellow snake. So the first thing he says is being smacked about by the bear, so he's fucking malt upsetting his tummy and all that. BOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOO All over, rice first, all over Steve's shirt. So once again, it was a bloody disaster. What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man?

What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man?

What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up car in for what's called a summer health check. Yeah. The tire web, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a thing where you take your car in and the bit of the rip off charge in 95 quid. Do it a bit tinkering. For a man like Steve, it's just the reassurance, it's tire pressure.

Oh, bristles, isn't it, Steve? You know, the chassis of them, sorry. Regast the aircon, fill up the washer fluid, you know, give it a quick hoover and all that. Clean up the spure off the back seat. Well, in Steve's case, yeah fluid, you know, give it a quick hoover and all that. Plade up the spear off the back seat. Well, in Steve's case, yeah, but you know, like, I think it's perfectly sensible thing to do and that's what Steve did. So he takes it in and they have a look at it, so have a seat, Mr McClaren, he goes into it, they've got a little wet in area and it's got one of them, you know, like as I've ended, coffee machine, vending machine with fricking watsits in or whatever.

Did they still, I do remember watsits. Ha! Yeah. I'd assume yesterday, yeah. What they still do, yeah, yeah. So, um,

he's got the vending machine there and, uh, what I really is just waiting. They come through and say, I'm sorry, uh, Steve, they come and Steve, the used columnist, we're clarin' and column Steve now,

because he got, he had his winter elf check as well obviously and the said to him like they said Mr McLaren he went none or Steve's fine. Call him Steve. Yeah, call him Steve and he's in virus. That's not stand on ceremony. Yeah, if I meet you out in a poor bar at the vet's or again, Mr McLaren. So the come back to us, sorry Steve, one of the tell your front passenger tie needs to be repersoned and I can't think your spare isn't the right mix.

So we're going to have to get one from the depot, it's going to be about an hour, right? So Steve's a bit flustered, it's there for a bit and he thinks, I'll tell you what, I'll phone the fat lass. So he phones up and says, can you come down? Right, because I'm going to be an hour a year and bring the snake down because the vet's just four days a long and we should get him spewing up. See if they've, say, you know,

get it tested, how do you know what, have you? So the fat lass finishes off with beans on toast, you know, just scrapes the beans off, washes off the catcher piece of stuff, comes down with the snake in the take it to the vets. Go in the vets, explain all the spewing up whenever it's under stress or whatever and so on. So he has a look at it and first off he of course he gives the vets and you know the injection of that always gives the injection. The 50 quid one. I think it's just for a good look for the

pet in it and that gets the injection. Then the examines it and says, I think this could be a tipworm. To say this, apparently it's because it's a, it's a, it, it, it, it, it might, it, because it might. Tipworms do. No, that's how the cycle of work, right? And what, what do you call these things, parasites? call these things? Yeah, they go via mouse, mouse Todd. No, that's incorrect. Not Todd. It's Todd once it's left the mouse whilst it's in the mouse. And it's eaten. I think it's called cack in it. Cack? Cack?

You've lost me now. Anyway, so it's got to be. It's got to be what we're on about. It gives it another injection. That a proper one. And I think it was a- Another 50 quid? Not 50 quid.

That's fine. Timings perfect, more or less. Get back to Taya Web. Steve, oh you got your snake. Can I give it a stroke? A thermal routine, you know, like, you would like to touch it. It's much smoother than you'd think.

La la la la la la We've five minutes to be able to balance the new wheels Yeah, so fat last let's let's let's let's let's snake have a run about. He's had a bit of a shock You know in there just it's a bit a bit under stress Yeah, just let out around So it makes a b-line for the vending machine, right? Crawls in like the letter box bit. Yeah, oh God. Probably, yeah. So it's all wound up all amongst the fucking track of bars and the OAS, it's drinks and everything and all that. So, they'll want to open it up so Steve can

get his hand in. So he puts 50p in or whatever. Yeah, you know, theiled thing, coiled thing is right against the the snakes like chest. You know, that's spiles pushing squeeze in it. Snakes face is right looking against the glass at the front. You know, I mean, there is near the mint touch, you know, it's so strong, which spills its guts up like Ospeite all all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time its tail, pulling, pulling, pulling. Like, I don't mean to put people off and all that, but you know, when

tapeworms are agitated, they're used to take tapeworms out in the old days, they put, they put you over a broth, they starve you, then put you over a broth, and it would crawl out your mouth. They get the broth from them. Come out of the mouth. Well, some it's similar to happened with the snake's tapeworm, so when they pulled it out, yeah? Yeah. Well, some it's similar it happened with the snake's tail worm. So when they pulled it out Yeah, yeah, this tail worm well actually this bit didn't happen this bit didn't happen No, I just I wanted to try and make it but it's such an awful story, but

So the pull the snake out meds Steve pay For the entire contents of the vendor machine and a clean and job So his summer health check, right? Listen this, listen this, his summer health check. And it cost him 589 quid. It's got to get out of work, isn't it? It's got to get a job. Terrible week for him. Steve McLaren interested? What's he up to? Oh Him and the fat lass and the

The went the malaga cut the nose back Right, she's got like a big massive soup Cares it's mainly full of like creams and Ointments you know for all the nox and crannies and folds and that Yeah, keep them, you know moist Keep moist lubricate free from bacteria and that and everything. Yeah. He just has a little roll, you know, a little one, he pull a little trolley one.

And he just, what he does, he does, he says, this is typical Steve. He just takes a fresh four pack, BHS short sleeve comfort fit shirts, yeah. Yeah. And some brown evenings, slacks and his CSI Miami trunks. You know what, I think I know where he gets his ethos from. Where's that? It's that scene where Robert De Niro and Al Pacino in hate where De Niro says, and never let me self get in a situation I can't get out of in ten minutes. Exactly. Yeah. The Claren's the CAB travels light and he

just fuck about. When I think, yeah, I think a heat, I think a born identity, I think I'm a Claren. No, identity, I think I'm a clown. No, anyway, so they're going away and Steve has to give his snake Casper. And that's big fade, you know, so to last him for the week. So he lobs a rabbit into the snake's room, so for it to hunt and kill, you know. Crits on room. You want the room that the snake's staying in junior for the holiday, you know? Is it usually in a tank then? I was just room free. No, it was far as a snake.

Yes, you could call it a house snake, a yellow house snake, so what it's confined to a room while they're in Malaga. Yeah, yeah, probably for the best. I think so, so yeah, it's leaving it, so you know, he's like sucking the shit out of his verb, at least, he's fretting, you know what I mean. And the fat lass says, you know, you know what Steve, I sort of think you care more about that snake than me. And Steve, A and these Steve says nothing. Nothing, just don't say. I don't think they do. Nothing.

So, taxi comes to take up the South End Airport. So Steve, they're just about to get in the taxi Steve says, you're getting off, I'll just get the last case and say, little, last go back to Casper and just leaves the fat lesson in the car. Right? Go as they end, does that taxi types of the airport. They're going through security, right? Just as they put the cases through, like the security thing, you know, the thing where it goes through a conveyor. Yeah. Yeah.

Steve starts singing. It is favorite song, you know. We've got a brand new convoy traveling through the night. So come on, join our convoy. All the other convoy's a shout. Steve's convoy. And of course, because it's Steve and Clarenek, Singleton manager and all that, the scurry people aren't really

looking, they're watching and they all clap him, take photos and everything. Yeah, so, he loves, he loves it, yeah, so, they're in the boarding lounge, right? Fat lass has a magnum, Steve has a little tracker bar she bought for him at the a'r bod yn lans, a fattlas a'r magnau, a'r stave a'r trakaba'r siop o'r bod yn ymwyr. Taf ond yn y shulda, a'r cymryd. Cymru, a'r stave'n ymwyr i'r cymryd. A'r ddyn nhw'n ddyn nhw'r fattlas. A'r ddyn nhw'r ffordd. A'r ddyn nhw'r ffordd. Yeah, so I'm laughing, but it's serious. It's a seasoned, armed copper.

So they're going in the interrogation room, put the cares on the desk. Interrogation officer opens it. Oh, it's in there, Andy. Oh, it's not the snake, it's the Casper. Casper's in there. Steve. Steve, the care, Steve. Steve, a tractor snake, and throw thinking,

his singing would divert the people looking at the extra idiot, fucking idiot, any. So as soon as the flight fresh air hits Casper, his next starts to swell and swell and it blows up really big, some it trapped in the bang, out flies a wet half-gurgitated rabbit, followed by a big block of rabbit-todd, and then a stream of sick, it covers the officer and his weapons. It's a terrible scene. Steve had to pay for airport quarantine, airport vet cleaning of the copper and his weapons, nearly, and it 1500 quid in total. How much of the holiday cost?

God knows, but they missed the Plants only South End Airport. The next one they got a plant in Barcelona at the take a bus from there. I reckon the holiday cost for me like 900 quid. So outside of the school holiday, so it'll be cheaper? I mean in some words it's a lovely story because you just didn't want to be without Casper, but... Yeah. Stupid, you know, stupid Steve. He should have done his research there like... Iol, fawr, am ydych chi'n ddod, yn ymdwchio'r ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw'n ddod, a ffawr, yw''r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r y and she found out about it, she insisted said, well, I have a barbecue, right? So it comes around a peacekeeping barbecue.

No, I know why she did it. I'm a don't know why I'm whispering. All right. But she knew if she just did a classic beans on toast in the kitchen, Steve would just say, right, that's great. Thanks, love off you go. Look after Casper, you go out, you know.

But you know, you know, with the gardens, like always accessible. So she could, you know, flip about everything alright. Yeah. Just a bit of it. Yeah, a bit of it. Sashier here and there. Yeah. Oh, so you sort of floppy sort of sum of dress.

Hey, well, you might find out about that there. Barefoot. So, the goats are for the barbecue and he shows him his veg plots. Mae'r ysg I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am.

I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am.

I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r y And whenever you do dancing Andy, you're doing a fat dance. Would you agree?

Alright, because I'm fat. Yeah, so they're simple. That's simple. By definition it's a fat dance. Tell me what's wrong with that. I'm not saying that. No, but I'm sure you're a beautiful dancer. I'm sure you can recruit. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith It's not really fair on me. So it's caught long story short she ends up collapsing with the coffee martinis Yeah, Casper nicks off into a veg patch slips off and she's just laid there prostrate

But 20 minutes later Steve says oh Come pick the corn cob help me Corn cob and the barbecue It sounds improbable and yes It's the best veg to barbecue, isn't it? Yeah yes it's the best veg to barbecue isn't it? Yeah. It's the corn cob. So Sam goes in and sees the yellow gleam in there amongst the foliage.

It's a tugs out here to you guessed it. It's not a corn cob, it's cusp of the snake. So a cusp opens his eyes staring straight at Sam. a'r caspa o'r oes i'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o'r cyflwyn o' fat lass. It arc, you know, and yet an arc, thank you. Across the garden. Across the garden. Soaked the fat lass and I'm gonna stop it because you've heard enough about Steve, but she's in love with Sam, right? Yeah.

And Sam's saying like that, she was so upset. I mean, he put the pyro tape on for her and he put it on loud later than night so she knew he was watching it, but she didn't come down. Right. She didn't come down so I really bad day that was for stay. That's a tent hoax kind of thing that isn't it?

Well I didn't, you've guessed yet, well there is next, that wasn't the end of the night. I'll tell you next week, Andy. That's a two-part. Yeah it's two-part. It could even be a three-part of the way things are going on, now the lawyers are in the room. Oh my god. So Andy, my mind turns to Steve McLaren.

Would you like to hear about it? Or at this moment, it's quite a long one because he was in A&E this week, you know? It's inevitable. So yeah. Well, yeah, Steve was in A&E this week. It's quite a long story. I'm sorry, Andy, I'll be as quick as I can. I'll take your time, mate. Mae'r ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn y They asked him to stay over for a second interview with the area manager. Not just the... Oh, that's a good sign. Yeah, not just the star manager. So she had to go home,

herself to look after Casper the snake, you know? Because Steve's gonna worry and he's got an interview in him, friend. On the train, she sat next to a doctor and then got chatting and it turned out he was like, what they call a colorectal surgeon, like a Todd doctor, basically, for all that area. a'r hynny'n gwybod ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch y What's it ships but crushed together and quite dark and greasy? Oh, that doesn't sound good No, I don't I mean that's why she's obviously, you know consulted the doctor So the doctor says actually that's quite normal if you've been aware

Especially to up country because of the change of water and dehydration That you know you get in hot climbs right Doctor said that this is interesting. There's actually, I don't know how this tells him a story, but the doctor said if you get really lucky, fat lass, you'll have a Todd that is actually like half its length is the congealed what's it, you know, substance. And then it'll change and the other half

will just be back to your normal smooth, you know what I mean? Kind of a signifying Todd. a'r y a'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r oes yn ymw i'r video on a little portable in the kitchen, video art telly, things. So he didn't get the job there? I'd let the time on a rub in there. Can we just pass over that eating at the job? Yeah, he had been so down. Yeah, and suddenly there was a scream like from one of the actors. No, like, ah! No, that just sounds like a query, don't it? Ah!

Something like that. And Casper, immediately at that moment, let out a little spew, just a little spew, or one at the table, about when they're called. A little reflex spew. Yeah.

And, you know, seem to tie in with the screams, so Steve thinks that is interesting, that. I wonder if it's the nocturial noises and that, that do it, so he like tapped on his play, it's sort of, like that, you know? Nothing, Casper's fine. And then he banged the big, big bean pot down on the former, like a surface, like that.

Props? Absolutely nothing. So, to be honest with you, do you abandon that theory, but it's just, you know, he gave it a go. So, wife goes up to go for a Todd, Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith the dirty dish. Look at the flannel. Yeah, and goes upstairs. Soon as he gets to the toilet, she says, Steve, look, Steve, look at my half rush, right? Steve looks in the ball and sees like a smooth handle end, right? Attached to the bobbly end and thinks, listen up, Aandie, thinks she said, hair brush. Oh, god. Honestly, so he reaches into the Todd pot,

but as soon as he grabs it, it like, oh, collapses, the Todd in his hand, yeah. Oh man, right. What does he do? He screams. Ah! Casper spews up half his bodywork probably, right? Into the fat lasses leggings,

which are down by her ankles, right? So Steve does a little spew himself, a'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r fforddd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r fford Right, Steve runs downstairs to get another cloth to wipe the fat last year. Casper just falls off under the toilet floor. Steve rushes back into the toilet, steps on Casper, what does Casper do? Spells up, spews up again. So Steve is instinct is to use the fresh cloth to wipe at the spew from Casper, yeah. Yeah, fat last says, well, what about me, Steve? So without thinking, he starts wiping a'r ffordd o'r casp. Ym cael yw'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd or ffordd ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r full in the first, full in the shape, what was it? Ego's backwards cuts his head on the bathroom mirror.

I'm laughing but I don't know why it's a terrible story, isn't it? It's not funny, it's a comedy of errors, isn't it? It's awful, isn't it? Trudged and so there you go, so Steve ended up in a couple of stitches. Yeah. Alright, the took Casper to the... Well, I won't go on anymore, but I mean the story goes on, but... Is it time for me?

Oh, it's devastating what's happened to Steve. I think, yeah, I don't think anybody can wear any longer, I think you need to give us it. Oh, okay. Well, it's with a heavy heart that I tell you what's happened this week. Somebody on Twitter, and I think it's Nick Motown this week by the way. Yeah. Just tweeted saying could you, uh, uh, frasals, frasals, but the size of rive eaters blind me. Summit, and I've got to applaud him on that wonderful thought in it. Isn't it? Isn't that something? Yeah, when you could you have them one sitting though? Well, you'd have,

um, that's a yeah. Four? And you wouldn't need to butter them, would you butter them? I'd butter everything, I'd butter them, yeah. Well a lot of watsits. Everything goes down as you were a bit of butter on it. Yes, sure. It's a lubricant.

It's a watsit, the size of a baguette. Are we going to butter me tits up before I fry the eggs on? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha do you want proper butter or like the spreadable, I thought any of that law fatch it. Alright, Steve came. Steve difficult week for him right. So for about a year now he's had a problem with his shoulder right and maybe a torn tendon, something like that. It's made it very difficult for him to carry casper on his neck like he likes to, but he still does, but he's felt the pain. So he went to the doctor, takes his top,

doctors take your top, top off, and there, there's like this sort of acne poxy sort of rash on the back of his shoulder and the doctor examines it then starts poking at it with his teaspoon and then he like what he does he just like prizes the whole lot off and it is just like a player to snag sick and accumulation that's crisped like gone crispy on his skin and he just thought it was skin yeah he just thought he got you know and so the doctor says, well, it won't be both of them laughed. So he's bloody cusp, right?

And it's dribbling out of him when he's on your neck. So, well, that's good, but the problem is, that's obviously not the cause of your problem. It's probably something internal, as I say, like a tendon or whatever. So Steve, just as he's getting his blood pressure on the neck, starts explaining that, you know, he's out of a job at the moment.

Caspers really not very well. And that the fat lass is getting really nasty because he's around the house so much in that. She says to the doctor, she's even threatened to make him choose between her and the snake because you know, all the spew that it's laughing into a stuff like other sacks, DMs, fleeces and legons and now all kinds of spuceters on them. You know, Steve spent nearly £1,000 on a pair of like purple, sort of satin, Jimmy Choup shoes, trying to keep her off his back. You know, just getting that, I need to tell the doctor that. Well, she likes, she wears DMs though, why would she want to wear DMs?

She wears DMs more than that, and when she's down the social club and that but if there's a wedding something like that like give me tubes on yeah put a morn she can't walk in a mendi really to be honest with you she can't put a pair of flats in her bag for the end of the night. Dr Realiser's Eastie Pressed that's the problem so he gives him some happy pills mustn't take a while I don't me still might take my glass of milk, whatever. Lobstow down. And he's happy as Larry is at home singing his song Convoy. I've got a brand new Convoy. All that watching the cartoons, yeah, even puts his... Even because he hadn't done it for ages, he even went and the garage started up his clown car, you know, just to keep it taken off.

Yeah. Anyway, the only thing that's still making him feel a bit sad is Casper, it seems really down in the dumps. Steve even, but two days before this Steve had to even caught in caught Casper eating like well like sort of chewing at one of his own tards. Oh that's not good so it's awful isn't it? So Steve what it does, Daphne Steve really crushes one of his happy pulls up and puts it inside a mouse for Casper. Yeah. You know see if it takes... It stands to reason it makes sense. I think it's fair, you know, it made Steve feel better then yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't see if it's here. It stands to reason. It makes sense. I think it's fair, you know, it made me a stay-feel better than, yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't it work with Casper?

So a kick's in pretty quick and Casper starts dancing like dancing on the kitchen floor, you know, like spiraling and zigzagging across the black and white tiles, you know. Oh, that's good. You're bouncing off the kitchen units, like in the S shape and yeah. So unfortunately for Casper, the fat lass is trying to cook a big pot of beans at the same time and Casper bangs right into her legs. She turns around and like she could she's looking down she can see him dying about on the checked tiles. Yeah. It's a flash of colour and a black and white and a black and white. She starts feeling a bit nauseous and realizes she's gonna she's gonna go into a fit, you

know, because of all the strobing with Casper bouncing around. But kitchen strobins are worse than it. So she can't look away and she's adding for a fit. So a blaster, she's boots Casper full force, harder she can. And he goes straight on the air, he ricochets off the kitchen island, yeah? Smashes into the Venetian blind on the window, then he just drops down like a sack of Fuck. Fuckin' hell. Casper, I love you, we were touch tight every night. Casper, I miss you, you were there when I bought the waffle maker. Oh Casper, there is a piece of sick that you left behind on the kitchen blind and every time I see it a tear falls on the kitchen floor where you danced like a trubert or casper I'll remember you for the good times, not just the spew.

Casper, wheel me to gain and we'll be touch tight in the afterlife. Casper, I loved you. This has been Athletic Commons. Hopefully we'll be back again next week. Thanks for listening. Oh where'd you get your shirt Steve it looks fucking incredible the big last bought me it from BHS if you don't man me say and Steve it makes you look fucking sexy thank you Bob that's what the fat last said how would you

describe it to those who can't fucking see it it's a light blue short sleeved comfort fit the color and the detail really pick out your arm freckles that's not freckles bob, it's dried on pieces of fucking snakesick.