Au Parloir - Épisode #107 - Raphaël

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

Dans cet épisode, je reçois Raphaël, 20 ans, qui a été dans le système de la DPJ pendant plusieurs années. Aujourd’hui, il bénéficie de l’aide des ressources mises à sa disposition. Enjeux de santé mentale, abus durant l’enfance, consommation… et maintenant, il travaille fort pour se bâtir une vie à la hauteur de ses attentes! Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to a new episode of the podcast O'Parlower. Torned in the studio of the machine 4771 at St. Terese.

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it's a good difference. The www. www.cedric bergeron.com my site internet where you

will have all what's my resos are all there, everything the podcast, all what's

my career of humorists, so the dates of spectacles, the vows, the vets of the vets of the t-shirts

of D.O. They're now made by the company of Vettements Quebecoise Anro, you see

with these Vintemen in Rowe. So, it's Now, they who's occupies the

production of the Vatement with the code promo Parloor 15 that's on on the site that you're

that's chate the vatement Anro or the vestments of a barloor to have a 15%

of rabbe. Today, it's, you don't know, I'm talking in the beginning of the episode because

I'd have a podcast with a person in a resource for the young who's out of

the DPJ and a person who works in a center young they are They've arrived with a young of 20 years who used

the resource, the first in the fact he has been in the DPJ, that's used now the resource and when he started to

me talking to me to talk, I mean, I'm exquised at the two intervenants that he merit his podcast

solo. So, it's what we have done with Raphael Cote. So when I don't know

that I'm not much of information on my inveter, it's on the podcast,

and I didn't know the podcast, I had not had been a pre-entrevue with with him. A podcast

with the emotion. We're an young who with the trouble of the

mental, we're about a young who, unfortunately, like too often,

has been abused in his infance, consumption, all the so, but

not in the crime and all, you know, it's not a podcast like that. It's really, it's really, on the issues of the health mental, the

he's in trying to rebuttire, there's 20 years, he is demenaged y'er in a resource, he's there

in a train to start by, and sincerely, I hope that in a year or two we'll have a little part two,

we want some newvel and we're going to go to go and the newvel in the

next month, the next year, so it's sure. Again, once I repeat, I don't know it's not necessarily the gestures, the ideologies, the terms used by my invaders but I'm a person who pronged the liberty of expression.

I like the Jean-Fran, who talk with their car, and have been on the parloor. Those who know me personally, they know, personally, they know, maybe you know what, but I'm a fan of automobile. And today, I'm a mcomorphose. Megamorphode, it's the family,

it's my cousin directly, it's Sachop. And today, I ammere one of my babel, my Jeep Wrangler 2012. You see, like that, it'll be the eye proper because we're behind a screen. There are these bell

light here, but there they're going to make a job, decontanation of painture, buffage complete, they will me retap the interior.

Proper for a 2012, but us other they're going to make a new for a 2012. You'll go, the result, it's sent me.

I'm going to get a jeep, and he is more beautiful, I'm sure that when he is out of dealer in 2012.

You know, you see the reflect there in there? The vehicle has been remied at 9, and I'll confirm, he was grafini, he was magnate, the engine B, clean-comer, new. It's the shop by my cousin. In plus, his employee, he's called Cedric. What's it that you want to do? 22 years of experience in aesthetic automobile. You take two roux, two roux, four-row, no, a row, a boat, a bit, et cetera,

an import, a vehicle of every day, a vehicle antique, and you remand that on the gross cost. Little job, gross job, check that, it's these pro, 22 years of experience megamorphose at St. Toma, it's the family, it's my cousin Marko,

gross job, quality guarantee. Thank you. Hello, Hello, Raphael. Hello. Listen, first, thank you,

It's really We, we We don't We've been Today, I'm Today, I'm Today, you DeVos

You've been to get to see to talk about, and we're saying, hey, the world of St. Jeanness,

it's could, that's not, you started to and say, like, you know,

and you have to participate to the podcast with them, and in talking with you directly,

I thought that just the Pue that you made I don't know, I think you merited

your episode in solo. So, thank, thank you to be prepped to directly.

There was nothing to plan if you didn't know before you didn't know so thank thank you

thank you know, I'm sure that you're not familiar with the podcast no more. And it's very correct

I'm actually I think it's even nice because it's, you it's really really sort of

parachute of a and we'll live that together. I'm in the first,

I think you're the first you don't know of my invite, you're 20 years

today, but with a good parkour. Well, and not the good term, but in

a good parkour, I'll use the word of good, you're to say, I'm in the same

with my invitation. So I'm from the beginning, at the base, you know,

to where where you, to know, to think your story, I think your story,

I'm not, I'm doing, I'm not, I'm going, my name is Raphael Cote, I'm 20

years, I go on on the 19 July, in the In fact, I mean, it's to come to three and a

three and a minute because that's a year at a year, I'm at a start to march, it has not

existent. You've been to pass to four pat to go. Exactly. And my my mother

being in a malade, a disease, a gross problematic at the level of the

management, at the other than to get the revenue, to work, and in the case,

it's a made much for her. Is your parents and were together

not? No, my father is decided this year. Okay, so I'm

sorry to hear to hear of him, he is born of a third

cancer of the I've seen two times. The third time I was supposed

to be he's dead the day. And it has been a lot of

but I'm not I'm not I'm he's he is good

we In the, in the phone, he's parted when you're your baby? Because, in the front, what's going to be able to... What's going to be able to have a third child. Okay. And he had said to my mother, you know, in a certain fashion, if you guard, I'm not. And I'm sorry, if you're going to have that.

He had two other children. With your mother or... No, in the, in front, I'm the third and the third. I'm the third. I'm the third. I'm the first of my father, I have a friend, a friend of my mother, a friend and a sister. So I'm

really the more young. Okay. So it's a fact that has made a lot of my mother.

So she had asked to help. And in the way that it was a new T.S.

who was the responsible of me. And in the fact, you're going my voice

at shake. No, no, there no, there's no problem, no problem. It was

so that my my mother's, I'm going to because there's also my grandfair who is going in St. Genese,

that's parted of a day of DPJ. Okay. And it's it's a problem, but it's not

your time. There's no stress. You have need to take some pause, you have no problem.

Where I went to? In the phone, it's at three in a half three and a three and a

minute, so. You're a frere, you're a friend, a sister? You're a friend a brother and a year? I have two

brothers. But with your mother, I'm with your mother. With my mother, a friend, a friend, a sister, a friend, a son,

a friend, a son, more and a son, yeah, okay, so, a little bit more my son, my son, we have just two years of

difference, okay, two years, two and a two and a two and a thing, so, is, is,

before you, the DPJ was, you had already in your family? Yes, okay, it was already

in my family for my my grandfair. Okay. And in the , in the fact, it's all the T.S. It's a new

she had to get to get to the school so that's new new to be in she's

and she decided that you don't live your so that I'm so that

I'm part of my family of when you did she did it is not

is that your my mother my my she has

has with my mother because the problem was my It was my

Because you, at three years, you're a problem already? Yeah, it's because I haven't been diagnosed

but I'm hyperactive I'm TDAH So, so that in this moment I'm not medicamentate and so I'm

no problem Yeah, but she she, she, when you talk to this, she's when

she comes to she she's when she says, you're three breakfast per day? My mom

had been tight in the money, she said it was possible. I was a time of the young, I had not so I remember it, but the family non-functional. My mother, it's that, like I said, as I said, as I said, as well as, because she has

several maladies, like, of the fibromyalgia. So, it's been, and it's to see, at the accouchement of my grandfair, who has already 27, or 28, And it's because she wanted to have the Piedurals, but they've made an ecographie,

and they've seen that because of the nerves, she could not have to have. So, she had to have the three children, so, so my mother, she's a combatant. She's a woman, I'm not going to get in the story of your friend, just because you know

there's a book of P.J. He went to 27 years. Is it going to be? Yeah, he's in an apartment. Cool. Cool. He has picked his life in mind. Perfect.

I just did just do that so we'll we'll talk about to the family because it's just

because there there's a thing you're in it's not for you know to say it's never to get on

the spot it's the man, it's it's the guy curious because you say at three you know,

I'm not to know I'm not the time of the family and that you're still

you're still at the young at three and you you know the T.S has decided

to me to make to see that's that's it's more that's that's

you're conscious in three years that they decide? You know, what's he makes in

that you do you know, contrary to her way, she'd have reason to me start to be there. I'm not the

moment I'd like to stay there. That I understand. That I'm that you know,

I mean, that's often that's that's too maltreated will want to be able to stay

with his parents. So, so, it's sure, it's normal. But,

you know, what's, what's, what's, do you consider that's, do you consider, that's not a

decision, to your mother? My, what my mother she wanted was to support. She wanted

someone that's let's don't if they're one, two times per a week,

have some to have some of the support. To have have some of the tools,

the support, the work social has decided to me to me

and to be put three three and three and three and I've been placed

a couple of placement. And you were placed in family of a family of

Have you, do you do these souvenirs, still still at three a three and a minute to be to be able to be placed in a

family of a family of no, but I'm I'm in four years. Okay. Now,

it's all it's very personal, I'll explain, I'm going to get abused sexuallyally at four

years. At four a four in a four in a family of akeye? And it's,

because I had been desolarized of the maternal which is really, really rare because I

just too too much. Yeah, too much. And, you know, I'd to have

some of the jollies, and, a gross life, I thought that after that, I was,

I was abuser, I've been batted, I've been in front during the days long,

while I had desolarized of the maternal, we, we'd not, me, we could, we, we, we, we'd

we'd, we'd, even just as six years, because I'd have to make my but it's because there was not an intervener to be with me, so he'd be left there, he'd me ramped my couch, so I've taken the habit of, you know, to, you know, to try to retain the stock.

Because it's, it's like that I've learned, I've got, I, I've got the ginghvite during 14 years of time, because at the level of the brushage in the den, I'd be brushed

not the when I was when I'm still there's not there's not of the real value of the family of

the care, to be in the hygiene. But all what you were, is you always in the

same family of the same? Yeah. So, the abu, the cuch, and there

there's intervenants of the DPJ that you visit a time at a time? No,

in fact, it's because it was a family of a subventioned by the DPJ for

for to, you know, to aid the DPJ for displacement of children. What is the case, I

don't, all the families are paid for, yeah, but there are that's these families

of the DPJ. That was just a contract. Okay. I'm, I'm not, I'm,

because I'm got, I'm, I'm it's for that, you, I'm, I'm going to to be paid, I refused, but I've

not had a choice. I mean, I could not refuse the money of the DPJ, you know, my, my bus was not that,

it was just, it was to take the children, you know, it's not, it was, to take, my view,

it was to adopt to, that, you know, that's so, it's so, that, it's so, maybe my mother,

had remarked, you know, the, the, you know, the, the line of red, in my

while she had me I made to take my ban she had decided to because you have

the return to your time at a time yeah yeah it's like a

time of a minute you're trying to take my ban and and he

said he return not there he return not there I had

replaced to a other place and just two three

months after this family that had been there

there there was too of In the whole, it was a mix. So, there were there were these little

boys and there's, as what I have seen, it's all the whole there's not so that

the viol, that all the people, it's a part of it. It's a collective frisement.

And the decision was just to the firming. Yeah, there's not had

been, there's, there's, I think there had there's, but the thing,

I, I had not realized it was what an abuse sexual which is completely normal I'd have

in fact what is completely normal to just just make my words in context what's not

you're not you're not you're not for the aggression that's normal just I base my words

I'm sure that it's not quite percy of the way I say it's just because

I'm just because I'm in any I'm I'm in I'm trying to say

I'm I'm trying to I keep my, my emotions and my words for me, because the way the people who know the podcast are the podcast, I've got used a lot of light at this level that, because in the case, I'll let's continue, excuse me.

So, that's it. I've made a few families of the accuelly. I've made Foyer, the Prairie. That's, like, in my fourth placement. The other placements, I'm not I don't remember not all

because it's passed a lot of a lot of things to be in a minute

to be in a family where you're well, it's a good, you are doing, it's

not, no, because I was really a child really hyperactive, I was really, I

had a , I was a coache, but that's because I've been diagnostique stress

post-traumatic multi-complex with what I've what I've what I've which is logical,

And when you you're placed in center because at a minute it's so they've seen that they're not. No,

it's so after you go to get to the prairie because when I did my

coach I went to go to the school I putt all the time my

crisis because that there a thing I'd not I'd

goate my where I'd start to bar blip the bureau, but the class in general,

where I was stupid, the person that had been. And then you've been in a case of an elitve violent, aggressive, and turbulent. So, it's that, after that,

I've been at DSM, Dominique Savio, of Montreal, who is today a center of detention, guard-firm

for adolescents. That, it's so, that, it's really not really very, especially at the

because when I was over the river of prairie, when I patted to my coache and that I was insupportable, he me would have there. In a unit, in attending, you know, passed a few a day there. So, I've had a lot of

retarer. It's all right. It's not all right. For a young that with the recule, today, you're a young man of 20 years, you think it's what,

in a way to you know, to get me for, like, calm to the young, what's you think that

would have that would be to be able to that? Do you know, I think, I think the best that

that's the would be or what you would have been doing, it's that, I think that

it would be really to me to me just a year in a other

environment, more more, I think, excuse me, the medication, a medication, a medication

appropried, the bon diagnostics, So, especially when the people are young, it's more difficult. But to have a medication more appropriate. Is that you'd encounter these professionals of the health at this moment, of the psychologists, the psychiatr? And, it's the same.

I remember more than what I'd say. It was not a retalline, but, you know, something in this style, but it was aided D.E.H. But you've been diagnosed quite a few young. Yeah. And he's been very young also. stress post-traumatic multi-complex. At what age, they

have understood that you had been abused? My mother, she said to wait. Well,

the poe of a mother whose child has been to be in the APJ has not a lot.

No, but it's because the DPG has the broad and my mother

has been for for me to be to be it was not not bad. You know,

when I had had my 20-semines to my mother, it would be quite

because I was quite to see my mother because I'd because I would have

to see my mother. It's logic. A lot of a man has had to have

to be my father, I had not conscious that to have to have

to have to have to have to be so it's it's it's I can't be able to see what I've been able to be there.

If it had been there, it would have been different. I know that you've been a long time, but is, is you that you want to? No. No. He has combated cancer for the cause. 16 years, 14, 16 years. My father, he did a drug. He was a crack, he did the freebase,

he did some of the MET, perhaps. It's not necessarily a bad option that you've not had in your life. I understand. The lack of the Pair, but, you know, I'm not sure that it would be so good pasted that

if you'd have had in your life, you know. It would be different if they were implicated. That's clear. It's clear. Because there's a level of implication, I just hope that the parents who look at this

for their children. If you, I think that this message that can not more pass than by someone like that. You know, the call list of dope, man, it's... It's...

It's... It's... ...that's... ...the trick, it's... ...the trick, it's not a pair with his past. You know, it's... I can't... ...and, I'm...

...and, and it's... ...and, and it's... ...you don't... ...the... You have right to you have 100% you

you need you merit in the sense that's you have the right you don't have not

to be to be able to understand these emotions and they live it's one of the things

the most important to do it's like a few a few years I'm

I'm talking with my family with his family

and it's very touch because the sister of my my friend, she had her

little bit, who is at DPJ. And if she regards that, well, I hope that it will well, because the children merit of love because it's our future. And if the future will not be very much, but we're all in my mind.

Yeah, he said, you know, I'm going to say, the word marve, I'm going to Topo. But, you know, I think that the But I'm going to, you know, I think the

system of the IPJ is a million to be perfect. That, I will be the first to say, the system

of the DPJ has never been, it will probably never, I think, that it's

amyar with the time to talk with the intervenants, because that's wrong, because

I've had an intervenant who made like, hey, we're doing things also, you know, I'm going to

you know, I'm doing it's just that the people who are going to it's not what they've been able to I'm not inventing, I'm, you know,

when I'm having a young who will say, I say, I'm going to say, it's great to the DPJ, you know,

but it's really, yeah, in fact, the DPG has saved the of many of young, that I, that I'm not

that's just that there's just that there's been that there may be probably not do live while he's that's

while he's doing the maltreatence. It's like what you like that you know, I know

not, I know the story if the motive to the mother I don't not in,

I'm not I'm not I'm not you know, I'm sorry, you know, that's basic-key

because I was just dysfunctional my mother had, she, she had epusely

what he had been a, it's like a leucemi, but it's a malady immunoglobulbulob

immunitarian. Okay. It's a malady rare, and often, you know, she's a lot of, she's, she, she's, she, she's, she, she'll have to, she'll have, at what age, at a college, in the center, youngess, not after the family-d-ackew, you know, from, you know, from a place to the other? In fact, I mean, it's been from around 8-5 to 10-and-mi, so I've been around 2 years. I petted often my crisis,

but there's, we're getting a lot in the history, in my history. It's so, so we, we'd make, some, we'd make,

my zoonoplatt, he crack, you know, the ligaments are so, the ligaments are so, It's

and fragilized because you're contentioned and you're contentioned by

you're because there's it's the bodybuilder with the bra and they

can't they can't control their force to get a time

so that you had to know so you 'd so you would

you're so you're because it was you'd be able plus you

don't you move on your I'm I'm I

remember I can it It's a bit more. It's also to know that we're trying to calm, but, you know, to let's the time

to... To be calm. Yeah, to me calm or in my firm, well, he made a contention in me making me

to say, calm to you. It's just something that's not not human to do that a to calm a child

by him doing it's it's 100% there's not a 10.5 it's what? At 10.

1.5 it, it's it all the more more frequent. Medication are to be adjusted?

Medication is adjusted. Okay. And I abidate in Montreal in this time that.

So, you know, Dominique, Xavier, of Montreal or of Montignyney, I remember I don't remember the

DSM it's the street St. I'm in Montreal and it's that

after that I'm back to my mother. At 10 and a 10

and I'm to go to at the school Barry that was at the other part

of the road over the road of the so that it's that it

all had kind of I'm in my course in my It was long, for example. I've stayed

seven and a minute, seven years, seven years, to be able to be it. Hello, I'm doing so. Hello, I'm in direct to Moe in studio,

and I'm a few second for you to talk to our more old commandeastern who is with us, we had two, three, three, million visioned by

episode, and he was there, and sincerely, if he had not been there, I don't even if this project that exists

still, because they have really paid financially on the beginning with this project that, and I just

they're going to thank you, and it's for that I'm doing, and it's for that I'm saying, and there are a lot of people who are saying, hey, you're talking of an affid insurance, it's what, in privy, the people make sure, so I'm going to tell to you to explain it as well, so compare my prime, he's specialise in insurance-vi, so it's some of the

conciergeers-vis, who have, for bu, they're, no-kone-ca-refused. It's their speciality, no-k-refused, because when you've attained a certain age As a C.A.G. If you're a

a dossier a criminal and if you have a disease like a cancer, it's extremely difficult,

to have quite impossible to have an assurance life. So, they're going to have

to have. If you have the questions, you're not sure that you think

you're not assurable, contact them, they, they're going to have to have an insurance

life. It's important for not to let's your in the business when you

should be there. Comparate Matthew. Comparate, my years, you're at your your mother, you're at the

school, it's working quite it's quite how much time? Just to the time that I'm about 12 years I've done to

get to the shoot. So, for a minute two years, it's quite at the level of your

mother and at the level schooler and I imagine that the DPI is still there, she comes

to find there's there's a T.S. that's a T.S. that's there's a T. But for a certain time, after I was returning to my mother,

I think it was during three months. He me followed. After that, they were going to close the dossier. They were classed the dossier, like, it was so it all right. It's all right. I was going to go to the school, but I was, I made my first relation, amoreous, and, finally, it happened to the law. At 12, 13, around, 12, 13.

Okay, but let's not, okay. When you demenage at the chute, that you're in your first little blonde? Okay. When I was in second-air, I think, two. Okay. So, because I had two years of retard.

I've only sated one. So I was arrived at Polyvolent Laving. I was not in second-ar-five, in the primary five-year-old. And now, I'm in the class specialized. So, I'm not, I don't remember if it's what the name? Bra. It's not

great. It's not important. And, and it's it's all it's all it's quite

even bad that had these little coche sometimes that I chauted

and but it would get more due the medication and that it was

it's better but after my first future it's been difficult so that

I've started to in depression, by me saying, in my when I'm in fact, all the city

had passed during my infance, and I'm saying, I'm doing in anything, I'm going to

get to have been in and then, you've lived, you know, you're of a

other, you know, of a young of a, it's not it's not evident for

you who who has subbed all, so at 13 at about, depression. Mm-hmm.

It's, it's like, that, that, we've I've got a TPL. Okay. So, uh...

Troupe of personality, the limit. Yeah. And, uh, it's that, it's not it, and it's not

over eight I've been in depression. So, so, yeah. And then, you know,

you've been to , you know, when it's, so at 13 is that that's like the DPJ in your

or no, no? No, no, so, it's more okay. Um,

in front. But, but depression, you, I, that's just that I've never lived also,

you know, and not 13 years, but you know, is it to have to get to go to the

ideas white, I imagine, the idea for 14 years, it was the mutilation.

Okay, the auto-mutilation. Yeah, it's for that today I have a tattoo, it's a

cross, who says without hope, there's nothing left, so, so, so,

so, so, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've got it in a tune of Bullitt from a Valentine,

because I had a chandel of that. But, you know, this is the Emo Metal. And you know, it's a lot of metal. So, it's not the negative than positive, so that you have to see, so I think it's fun because it's just fun because it's a little bit with my own to family. The two sides.

But, so, you know, since, you know, there's no, there's no, there's no, to keep, to keep to guard the sport because if you're the way is finished

of a way of it's a you know, you know, I'm not an auto-mutilation I'm

I'm not a psychologist and I'm my view to play to that pantote pantote

I mean I think due much of that's that's that's you're a

mal in the interior to you that you don't not and the

fact to you impose an problem it's to make there

I'm my and I see to in same time, the

pain in the problem, because to be a little a problem psychological, it's a

problem physical. So, so while you're concentrated on your physical,

you're liberer the spirit during that. You're the brain not.

You're just concentrated on what you just concentrated on the thing.

And certainly it's the worst is the way, it's when, how I say,

the voice in the because I have two superposed, so I can

I'm thinking to two affairs completely opposed and me to know, I don't know

I'm not I don't know it's a big problem in the head, but your brain

his own what he means, what is, what is what he enregist what the cognition,

it's like, it's not a troupe of, what you're how'd call that multiple,

personality multiple, it's like, it's like if two people to speak

in the same time, you're listening, but you know, you know, you're able to, you know, it's not

that's, it's not, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, you're not but they're

not, one, one, they go by that, and the one, so it's, so it's,

so it's, so it's, it's two information that can't be the same thing, or opposer,

like, two, two, two, two, two, two, different,

and we can't can't can come can't even to understand. It's just a big borderdle

in the head. It's for that when I have my vivance, it's a calm,

it's a detent when you're D-D-H because it's always to say that it's

the emphetamines and that... At the way, they're going to get jogged,

let's, let's... If we we're just, we'll make it, we're we're just that,

we're not, and, is, is, I was in the room. I had the lamped in the room. I had these lams deguisors. And I had the

bra in sand. And today, it's apparent not too because I'd get it well before, but now, when you've been it, it's changed. But it's

that. You do you do do today? No. No. Today, I'm still kind of well the rest of my

story, I'll be able to know but there's that's that

about 13 I'm to find a cigarette about 14 I'm

I'm I'm I'm a h of the wax I was I had

a good of a good influence because we'd make

fumate some tea there some they So I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm like, oh, I'm a bit, but in front, but in front, I was just a little bit. I was just a little bit, because, you know,

you want to, you don't know, you're not, you want to be the guy at-cote, you want to be part of the gang, you want, you want to have a sentiment of appartanance with the world, so you're ready to do whatever to be accepted, and be cool, and be part of the gang, and not be rejected, so. Exactly. And in front, all the whole

everyone laugh at me, all the people, I'm, I'm I'm making because

I've adopted the co-a-em-punk like Squirrel-lex I my card of second-air

secondar I was resembled at two co-de-d- -d-a-l this couple I'm I'm

much, but I like this look by photo but you're I'm not too boboleman,

the same. I don't know. I'm not six more I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to

it's like like, yeah, it's not my look preferred to look good in the same. But,

you know, your choice? It's in the way to to let us push the shoe, I imagine it

was fair plow. No, it's not super. And it's that, and you

couple of hair, yesterday, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I've had the shoes

long, on these You want to be a good man for to come to come to be

to be to be to do it's just to do that and it's my that's

my friend she's she'll pay so I'm thank you I'm thank you I look good

I look good well yeah we we have a we're a big TV here on

for we we know our chatt of the camera and they're yeah be a

man it's well it will it it will thank you thank

Thank you for a camera. You say that you start to you're going to do you start? There's an escalade of consumption

that comes there? Yeah. I mean, I used, I used to get to get to tap

his door, and it's passed several situations where, how I could say that?

I had a voled to my ex-beau- father. My ex-beau- -peer, he had

to come to come to enter in these years. It's really not a

good influence. Okay. And he also I'm doing. Have you already

heard of the film Viagra Oro-Dispersible? This last adjue to the

mark Viagra pran the form of a bandlet that's disused in the

book. You certainly also content to know that the film

horodispercible Viagra is offered at the same price than the comprimed Viagra.

So, which means that you and your medicine have the possibility to choose.

If you have you have been a order of Vigra where you think, talk about

your medicine and ask you the information on the film Oro-dispersible Viagra.

Pott, alcoholic, Tuba, B.S. I'm in a cigarette. It was nothing.

He wanted not to forced to work to work. And then, yeah,

I'll be able to say, a little after, but it's really,

it's really difficult at the house with him, and especially the depression.

Did you ever to talk to your mother? My mother, she

could nothing to do more, because she had I had seen that he had a

comte-conjoined, the apartment he was at two-known, we could not just, the key it's there.

Because financially all he didn't get not. No, it's so.

So, that's, it was, a becky, and a becky, and a becky a base in Estime?

Yeah, a becky and he left his money, and he'd dispense all in

all alcohol or in cannabis, but, After that, about 16-year, 15-year, it was not going to it, it would never, it would peter, and then I'd be chicaned. The soot of humor, the craving, you know, all the stuff is drugs. Were you still still on the cannabis at that?

Yeah, okay. But it had been a lot of place in your life. Yeah. And it was also for oblivion my infancy, my adolescence, my adolescence, It was for me evade of the reality, but we're not really

with this. We're just camoufled. It's not permanent, it's temporary. We gel of the emotions.

Mm-hmm. And so, at a moment I, I was chicaned with my mother, and my ex

old pair who had to get in the cooey and I'm parted in courant, I was saved

and it's not my first fugue. I'm I mean, I'd have often. Okay. Because, my ex-beauper, he'd be crying after, and, you know, it's pretty good,

sometimes he'd try to me explain it to my career, but it's because all the time he'd turn just around his life. So, it's really a personage, selfish, you know, a random, who's, like, fuck off the life. I, I'm just at the game video, I'm just on my pod, I, boil of alcohol.

But I'm going to explain the life. Yeah. And I didn't, I was like, yeah, okay, I'd repriepe, I'd be, I'd repriepe. I'd do it, I'd do you take it all the time. I'd gollie de cigarettes to my mother. And when you fugue, is that, you pass, is you the police who you come, or, you know, you're going to, you're going to stay, you know, in the night, you're going to check with my friends, no, no, I'd just partire, like, or, like, a few hours, or, like, a

A couple of the police me ran A minute I'm I'm going to I'm in a spot in a co-d-

school where there was a stash that there was a spot car and where is we could be

to be able to I was there if I had had some if I had to I'm roule in a joint

it's not not easy the life but at this moment when you say you you fugue

after the altercation with your beau-peer? What do you mean? Well, you say that it was not your first fugue, but it was, you know, was it a gross fugue, or...? Well, the affair,

I was just returned to my faxed my affairs for going to just live in the street, and finally, my parents were saying, we called the police

if we came to get to check. So, that I'm going at St. John's at St. John, sorry, we're in St.

you can't know where I was going to go. Yeah, it's that's all right. Yeah, I was going to send to the center genese there.

And, and I, I'm in stress post-traumatic. But I'm to say, I imagine that all

that, the, of the genese, the center genese, all, I, I had,

I had just the impression that it's a dream, a, a crime, a, a,

it's a, it's, when you're, when you're, you're, you're, do you really here?

for the real. And I I'd have to the head I wanted just

not turn in the PG and he had re-over my dossier at that

and then that's after that I had to Iberdo because in the problem

is the consumption so it was just for the cannabis that I had to

go there and and do you to your mother? No

no I don't want my mom. I want my ex-beaupe. My ex-beaupe. I'm just, if you did ex-beaupeer, so I'm content to learn that that my mother is but...

But, you know, it's these choices that have made that you're returning there, but... They're not, they're not that I'd that I'd like,

he'd have to be able to his affairs. He caches all under his arraill because, Because, you know, the salon was a bidonville, there's just these canettes

at grandeur, and these bottles of beer, you know, these 1.8 lit I think. It was at the grandeur,

it pughet, it was insalubble. And with the health of your mother, she's not capable to... No,

she's so being used to be able to because she just not supposed to work but today, she's just not

it was still. Is your mother had some problems of consumption also? No, no. No.

My mother had never really consumed. So, she she

had, like you did you subissed. Yeah. My view, it was not

to make your spot, it was just to understand the dynamic. It was my ex

beau pair. There was like a reprise on a little. Because

with four because there was also the female of my ex-beaupeer. So, you know, four children, two adults. If my mother

were all for sure, they would have been arrived. How does it your return in a center of young?

Bordelic. I don't to put these crises. It's so, I'd get the hair of the

head. I'd not good in that environment that. A return contention, but there, you know, you're, like, you know, you're, like, you're, like, you're, like, you're, like, you're, yeah, it's so, well, the contention are

more rough, because the thing is, you know, put the bra in the do, and he crosses the jaw, but, you know, it's sullvent, but the affair, it's, your eyes, he, they get red, there, their vene in his eyes, he pop, because there's too of pressure, you, you know, there's two dudes, of, like, a 200-lib, you know, is literally sat on you know, for not

that's not to be able to I remember, I'm a minute, I'm in an agent of intervention, one of

the cartian, as I called, and I made my excuse, and I was not content

of that, but, you know, I was really not bad, you know, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you know, the concept of, you know, the other

I don't know what you You know, and to the other Cote, they're on the other Cote, they're not, you know, their job is to assurred that you bless not and you bless not someone of other.

I don't know if they have a better better than a better function of that but, you know, they're limited in their power, limited in their

budget, limited in total. You're a young who's in semi-psychose almost, you not, you know, in crisis,

you're in mega-cris, It's like, you know, it's like, it's what, it's Yeah, but, you know, you know, at this moment that, it's not a young in shock post-traumatic. It's a young in crisis. Yeah, but it's literally a little bit of a traumatic who had been in trying to do so. They're just, but, you know, my view

is not to defend, but, you know, to say, it's what their other option to us at this moment, you know, with the info that you have, all what they have, in face two, it's a young who is trying to petted a plon and they want to be sure that he's

blessed not or he blest or he blest not, I'm not I'm afraid to have a lot of

a lot of no, but, you know, but it's probably more for your security to

their security of us also. They're at crossy and that's it's a unite

in toxicomani and it's so it's a year, it's been 11 months of therapy

slash des intox and it It was not easy, because everyone talked about their craving, and there were a certain authorization to consume with moderation.

Okay. I'm a remember of that. It's, you know, because the affair was for certain, there were, like, they'd, like, he'd

in two puffs of June in their sort of five of a week, and, and he'd say, but that, it'd It's a craving, and I'm wrong

jays on. Today, even, because I'm too pretty so stressed of the life that I've

not done of the push, I just not a cold. So, it's a

craving, and it had done a temptation to want, but you're really encodered

in a center youngness, Mueberdo, I'm sorry to say, but it's a prison,

like, for an , especially when you're not a young criminal? No. And during

this 11 month and do you, is you have the contact with your mother, is you

have the visits, do you have the visit, is you have the authorizations? At the beginning,

for about three months, I saw my mother, and after I wanted me to

see, it's still flue, because it has changed from the time, but it's it's a time before I'll

see my parents. My parents, I include my ex-beaupeer, but then after, it's 11-mo-in-m-m-m-miss, I'm I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, in Resource Intermediate,

at Mirabelle. So, in the, I'm went there at 16 and a and-migh, and I'm out of 17 and a 10.5. I'm embarked

on the program PQJ, program qualification youngest. That's these apartments supervised,

that's all that's all? No. No, okay. The A.R. it's just it's for minor,

so you, you know, you're, you're trying to advance in life. I was working at

T. Morton, I was not a lot of then I'm I'm in consumption. Okay.

And, after that, um, after that, I'm going, at, when I was I was in

ACJ, at St. Kustach, and in, a, a resource of, an,

dispergement of urgency, okay. It's, I think, it's six months. Because at 18,

18, at 18, it's a job and Aieri for Miner. So, so, um,

I've been in consumption, but there it was just cannabis. And I think that I had started to do the cocaine. Okay. And I think

of the speed also. Okay. And, after that, it's so, it's a, at the CJ,

it was all the, you know, there were, they were more the style of gangster, so they made their little things,

like, gangster, I can not too, That's correct. But, after that, I'd go to CHMMM at a other

house of embergement of urgency. There's three months, for example. And I, I'd consume always. In the fact,

your day, it's what, when you're there, I'm doing a day long? Do you cannabis? You're, there,

you're not, at this moment, or? Was it, it? It was, it, During the ACJ, and the CHMMM, I've

worked at Pallette FGL. It's a foundation, Guadrepoly Violet, if you do you do palettes. Okay. And you can eventually have your card of lip. I, I guess I'm just as I'm just a month before he perime.

Okay. So, and I liked my job. But as I'd go back, I'd go ahead, I'd go ahead. I'd beide the spirit. and always You're still still on

medication at this moment that? Yeah Yeah So, so I had said

I just I had started the cocaine but no the cocaine or the

cocaine, or the speed it's after that okay yeah and then

and it's so so so so what it's these people

it's it's really a life of community okay you do

your affairs, you're there to try to try to to find a place permanent. But have you a room

or it's a dormer? No, no, it's a chamber. Okay. It was a chamber

double at the CJ, in one, I remember, he'd they'd take some of

me, and he naised in face. Okay. There's an intimidation there too.

Of the intimidation. And, and a minute I remember at the CJ, I had really had It's a resource, but it's

you pay a certain amount for it. You pay, I think, it's 25% of your revenue. Okay. So that's that. CHMMM, I've not had an intimidation. It was all right. I was with all the people. And, let's on, I'd roll a joint,

but it was for that we'll fume together. So, yeah, I'm rolled dejoin. And then

after that, after CHMM I'm seem, I'm turned to my

mother at the age of 19 years, something like that 18,

19, and again, again, there, I'm to find a job. I've

worked I've worked at I'm I'm how it's a job Be Welles

Canada it's a company that do you want with the name I'm I'm on it's probably

which he fabric or who they want to I'm I consume my job is you

that you did the speed the Coke you're at the moment that's a no

after okay after after on a day Wednesday night with my

ex my best my friend with my family, because he he wants

just part to the sex, drug, alcohol. Okay. Party,

it's just his mode of life. Okay. I said Chaback. And he

had responded, oh, well, it's not great, anyway, we,

we, we're there, after that after that, after that after I had been

a job of Caris. I've been worked at Chobob Chalal

Ch' It was a good payed, for example, $22.2.00, but the affair is a job of marred because you work in the recycling of plastic. And I pogned an accident of work. I inhaled to plastic because I had not the EPI appropriated. It was some of the Chinese, so they sent their security, you don't know. I've inhaled some plastic. I've been to the the hospital the landmine because I

would have been to respirate broncospasm it's like the asthmatics that are going to do

the bronches were enfleed so I had never to breathe I'm at 49%

of saturation so I was on to part to part so that recently recently I

recently I made my evaluation I did the hyperventilation on had prescried my pomp

that had been prescried in parren but it's that, I've worked four days. It's not

so much for having to have taken an accident like that I've passed a year to be

trashed black but you know, these motons semi-solid black I was

more, I was capable that's it's I mean, you know, I've made the speed, of the MDMA,

of the ecstasy, of the co, even the brosson. I had had done GHB also. I fumed

of the cannabis in quantity industrial. I was fumed a ounce of four days.

So, and I had a carton of a cigarette around a week. It's

good for someone that's a problem of that? It's a bit

a bit before, but just before my accident I had arighted the cigarette. And then, sometimes I'm to buy a packet, because...

That's your view. You don't know what you want. That's all that's all that it's all. It's because that

this consumption that's not done no, I'm not. I'm just the bien-ed social,

and you had to be to pay my loyay my $500 of your

and the rest of the rest of I'd spend in the consumption I'm

supposed to be in an overdose and that's that's because it's

been 30 ecstasy in a same night it's a bit so I

had been to be to be to be nervous but I'm

not, but it's after my accident of work

I I did my psychose my first piece cause, and it had dured a year,

I'm out of my post there's about three months. During my piececoze, I committed a crime, I petted the tire, I made some graffiti, on a vehicle.

And when I realized that it was not good to do that, I wanted, I wanted to go me excuse to the plaintiff, I'd gogne to her, to her to propose some money for it to damage her. She said, it

cost you how to how much? And, she had called the police. So, I'm going to go to prison in the evaluation

psychiatric. And I had already a diagnostic of bipolar, but there it has changed for schizoaffective.

So, I, I, I, I, passed two two months, two and a minute to pavion of the

mental of St. Jerome. And it's been long. And then I'm on the TAC,

the CETM as we call, it's the tribunal of Quebec in health

mental. Okay. And, um, it's so, I'm interdiction of contact

and interdiction of consumption. So, for how for how many of time, I don't,

but I not the intention to reconsomber because it's, you know, you know, if you consume, when you do your first cause, all dependant, even, even, even, no matter of your condition

mental, of your health mental, of what you develop, there's not a return in the rear. And, you know, it's a thing that I do often, you, and you're, you say, you're, you're,

you're, you're just petted a tire to make these graffiti on a chan, you know, our prisons are peopled at 90% of

people who have the problems of health and consumption that's... It's more this level consumption

because the consumption is to make to make the crime for having money. But it's

because there a lot of consumption at the cause of problems of health mental

also. Also. Of the the auto medicamentation it's extremely frequently

frequent. Do you? Is what you consider that this little crime I'm going to

get in the category of the little crime that's a it's a question, but you consider

that it's one of the thing that you've been in the life? Yeah, in this

moment I'm in resource intermediary long term. With one of the intervenants who had

with us that was supposed to do the podcast, you were just for talking to say

to say but, as I said I said I thought that you merited your

episode to your episode to what? What? What's What is you do with this resource?

Well, in the whole, it helps to planify my life, to me

to reprimed a life if we want, a return to the society. Because I

have done two weeks, I've been in two long months, and honestly, it's been

more beneficial to what you're doing because there's good diagnostics with... I'll

have the good medication, even if I had already before. But that's what

you said when you were not you're not to be not quite, you're not in

this moment. Yes, I'm an injection of Abilify that's 300 milligrams.

Okay. It's for several things like the schizophrenia or, I'm a group

schizofective so it's not of the schizophrenia in a kind of it's

it's like a spec of the schizophrenia. Okay. There are different types of

schizophrenia like my diagnosis bipolar with with with the schizophrenia affective, a troupe psychosoaffective.

But, there's a, I read the papers yesterday, a troupe diso affective, a drug diso affective. And the TPL

also, I imagine. Yeah, the TPL, the TDA. You're a, you're a bo melting pot in the front, that,

he, he, that's, that, and with the resource, it's so, so, like,

it's a bit to end up, to, you, are you, in this moment? No. No. I'm going to be at the research of an employer at St. Jerome. I have my card of lift, so I'm

to attend to work in a shop or where I'm going to have with this resource. With this that, what's just to help to build your CV? My CV is already built. It's just I'll just go to the restap because it's not the good V that's written on.

No, no, but I'm just for the interviews, it's, it's these things that are going to help. It's not a problem. It's It's good. It's all right. So, now, you're on the next

step that's the next step that's that. I'll attend my rendezvous with my little chiot because my

vivance had been deprescript. Okay. And there's for their to have to for my concentration,

it's a disjvance or something of other that will make the same effect. I'd

like my life and I'd pass 12, 13 years there to and really,

if I come there you, while that it's more active, I'm

the medication adapted. So I'm not going to be in my psychose. But,

my psychose, I don't not, I don't get a blackout,

I just of all, so I have a conscience, but I have,

I don't conscience, but not control? It's that. It's clearly

that. I'm conscious, but I have been of the condition on

of the good, of the bad and the time to you know, it's the first that

I've done if you're if you're doing it has been a psychos on a cause,

on a very long term. On a very long term, and that, you know, I hope

that if the plaintiff me, today, I'm really sorry to what I did,

I'm not conscious really of the situation, I just had just had just used

some of information, I'm too imagined the scenario and I'm

sure that your children are good, and I hope that you will progress

in life. A moment I'm to get to get to the $680

that I do that I do. Bravo it's paramarable to

say what you mean to say, and you know, it's it's it's

But, you know, I would say, he's not been, there's not been to be there's a lot of, I don't know, I'm not quite, but, you know, but, you know,

the other other side, you know, it's one of the best thing that would have been to have been to something,

and there, my view, it's not that you know, that's not, you know, but, you know, you know,

I'm saying that, you, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to get to, you know, the first time that'd have seen,

when? It's in my 18 years. Okay. And, he had already, he was I can't say, it was not a person. It was a coquette

Vid. You know, there something in his head, but he, he could be not, he could be talking,

he could be to say, he was a but it's more, oh, yeah, for real,

yes, man. What, what is he, How's it happened? Because, in the

fact, my mother wanted to me present my demisor on the side of

my father. And I put contact and there a moment, she had proposed

to see my father. And I had I had seen a first first time

at 18 years, I had you have seen a second before he

part. And the third time was the day he's he was

supposed to go four days after my second year after my second yes and

so so that I think I think I'm I'm you know

you didn't you know you're you're and you're you're

after me it's because he he said he said he said because he

he was not in good health. I think that's for that he wanted to

not a lot for he it's for he's for he was to be

and how about your mother? My mother today I'm

not not not I'm not I'm she she

she she she she has she has a

revenue of she has two char to pay

because my vehicle I I have just my temporarer, so I can't be able to be a place, I can't be able to

make a problem of transmission in the way, she has a lot of debt, there's my two o'aso at her, and I can't let me get to my resource

unfortunately, I've made the demand and it has been refused. And, honestly, my mom is not capable of

that, she could be of her own, is not capable to to clean a house, to the

of the fibromyagy and also, I think, with a little bit of a little because she

could have to do more, but at work, she's sitting a day,

she's sat for the time, to the house of the chute. And, you're in a place

the endro to your mother at work, or you're more, you're correct.

Okay. Yeah, no, yeah, the people who are in the chute, they're going to be able to see their electrodes, they'll launch. Correct. It's, how I'd say that? The pieces are guaranteed, so. Hey, absolutely, charge me for the pub.

No, we're not, that's not a lot. You're a bit. Had you, can't even a good relation with her, or? No, we've got to cut them. Okay. I've got to put it, I've got a few, but it's a few years. I don't know. I see even

not even I'm at the same I'm at the time I'm not I'm not I'm not

I'm not you know you're to be you're in this moment? Yeah I'm

to be on my my life and are you are you do you can't

do you don't no no we're probably not I'm

I'm I'm more of my more I'm I'm concentrate on my

life because it's the time that I construct, with the cost of the cost of

the cost of the cost of my way, I have a lot of to get, I'm a

car to get my permit to to turn to do you to do

do you do it's a good it's a good money to

pay and the resource in the place in in this moment

you you have access for how how many two you have

two I was just a minute I'm just I'm After my Coupe of Yeah, Okay, it's

not for me, it was not for the resource No, but it's just saddened like that

It's a It's a atmosphere a little It's a It's been It's It's good

And if I'm If I I'm Today, how it It's about? Honestly,

I don't I'm not I'm not I'm Because, no, if I'd if I'd

consume, you're doing my psychose because of my cause of my trouble

affective and probably the medicamentation, but it would be the drugs just more

especially the drugs do, I said, oh, yes, I've said,

I've said, I've made the freebase and he was not to get to get not liked

that, I'm end up that I'm glad I'm content to...

It's not long time it It's all right. It's not a puff it costs 40, 50, 50.

50. It's the last car. Putt the consumption. How much a raft he goes? I'm

well, I'm going to go even more when I go to have my rendezvous

with the Psyat to have my other medicament. Now, in

this moment, you're in trying to to batire a foundation. Mm-hmm. To go... To mount the echelons.

On par... Like at zero, we've rased the old house that craquette everywhere and it's a-moit-pour-a-0. Exactly. The resource

in which you're in the moment? The name? The name of the resource. Nado. The resource Nado. It's so it's

so it's been. I'm demunager I, for the instant, I'm not yet a car of tawes. I have the most

beautiful chame with a I think is Queen. It's the only charm that's a

queen, it's the chame to the house for Bianca? I'm not to have to

get to get a but that it's a resource in the view, it's

for the young adults who have a parkour of DPJ and all no?

No, that's really a resource in a source in health mental. Okay.

So they're really they're there for to watch to help to help to make a plan of action. So I'm

I'm going to to start to work but it will be after having my rendezvous

it's a so it's in Poland. Is that one, just Bravo that has

some of some that exists that's it's it's it's, it's it's

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, there's, They're not enough, they don't have enough of money, it's sure

that's certain. There's a there's a lot of budget and of resources in all of that. The system

is not able to be able to provide for everyone, for all the demand. It's clear. It's clear.

And, I've got a chance because before the resource that I'm in this moment, there there had a

other in which I had in the resource Gingra. And, It's a place correct,

you know, it's not the top, but it's a place that's... It's not the holiday N no more,

you know, the bus, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not that you're there to be able to

to be able to, so, so, so the important is, it's, it's a toilet,

it, it's, it's, it's the structure for to help to be able to to be

to be, the boastin and these cloo of good quality for to rebutté if the boy

is rose he's a rose Chris but at at least the boy is simple and you're able to be able to

it's the only that's the last time I'm sure I'm curious to be to receive a second

time in in a year or two for to see how it how it how it

is, is is that is that you have to have to live a

emotion strong. You know, a rupture, something like that's the death of a person

that's a person that's something that's something that's that's something that's a view the end of the

abandoning it's a moment you know, it's a way to play with these emotions but a

moment you continue because if we're there's there that we come in consumption

and You know, I'm going to do if I'm anew, it's going to, it will be a lot of time. So, what is for that? I'm going to occupy, me occupy the spirit, occupy my time. You know, I'm going to have something concrete and in life, because if I have something unstable,

well, it will be able to be unstable. For the instant, I'm stable. I'm doing. I do you have a good decision. I have no craving. You take your medication. Yeah, that's the thing. It's the affair the most important, man.

That, even when we think that we're able to be able to get that. That's like to say, no, no, an alcoholic,

I'm able to fomelying to drink a peterre. No, I'm able to fom me thanck a pettor. I'm just like, I'm able to think that you're capable of to get your

medicament, you know, if they're prescri by the professionals of the health, it's because you're because you're the advantage, I think,

is that you're conscious that you're concerned that you have need and you know. It's that. It's,

I also what I'm evid to consume, what I'm doing not curing, is that I

want to aggravate my , you know, my schizophrenia affective, my trouble psychosoaffective, it's my

friends. In my, it's not, it's not in my head, it's all around to me,

like the proches, or, you I'll hear, I'll hear, I'll hear

their reaction, but, but, it's so, how I I'd say, if I reconsome, then it can be aggravated,

and that I just want to that's agrave. The next time, it will be not be able to be able to be in the graffiti, you know,

you know, my goal, it's not to me so to do you know. Is that you do you want to have a

family, be a father? No? No, for the instant, no. No, but is something

at which you aspire or... I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, the way I've seen my life, and that I've seen, the system turned, you know, the price of life will continue to augment, it's not

a question of money, but it's a question to be able to subvene, you say, it's already at me. You're going to be to concentrate on you? It's so. Before to think to to aggrandire my

life, and to to get the life of a other person if it it does,

but for the instant I'm going to me concentrate on my because

there's the time that I haven't I'm not already invested in my

life if I have 20 years I have I've

lost the entire of my life to attend that

the time so I think there is the time to get to because

the time it You don't You don't You don't You want to You want to

You've You've got That's That's That's Yeah. Raff, correct I'm

called Raff I'm I'm I think that I think I'm How can

say that I'm I think that's your history We're Why?

I know You're not familiar with the podcast But, you know, these parkour like the team,

it's not the first that I'm your own your own your own your but you

can't confirm, you can't get very very well, I minimize not your part of

your own but I have been so much seen by where you've passed and

to be much more more than what you have been and I think it's important

of the partages like your to realize that you're not to be you're not to descend

very bad for to have a a good reality check you know a

a big conscience of I'm going to be in this moment wait a minute where I'm

going you know this two two weeks of three months in

In psychiatry, you know, you'd have been, you'd have been out, and just fuck that, and fuck the medication, and all that, you know, so I think, like, I agree with what you've lived in, I don't,

I don't really the choice to try my medication, because it's going with the, the regs of the resource. I understand, but you'd have just fuck that,

and go out, and go to the couch of your chum, and to find the party, and you'd be encrissed, and you'd be mandatory, and it, you'd be, it'd, it'd be,

So, it's for that I say, it's that I respect the fact that it's that's a lot of people, you know,

I'm often the people, you know, I'm just like, I, I'm not made a lot of

I'm not sure because, you know, I've got that's in people, who have been in place

to them, they've got to do you, they've got to, and it's, and it's, it's not important for me,

for my podcast, the important, it's, the message that are transmitted by the people, and,

and, and, today, it's not that episode that that we were supposed to do that

we're saying I'm content that we've made for example I'm also I'm glad that you

were coming and and sincerely I regret enormously what you've been living in your

family of acue it's inacceptable impardonable it's unacceptable and

pardonable. But what I think flat, is that often the people will be able to they're not in action

like I, I've never put a plin I'd could, but the affair is,

I don't of visage in my souvenirs, I just in my in my in my

souvenirs. So, so it's, it's, it's, it's, it's It's extremely

strong, like that you've been to say, and effectively it's a gala. Porte Preet

I'm playing. I'm I'm in your situation you have four years, I'm a parol of a

parol of a parol of a man. I'd say, man. It's so, that I'm going to say, man,

it's, I'm just in a moment, you just want to be able to be able to batte and I'm

I'm trying to to forget the past without consuming, and just in having the best life that I've ever used, I'd have a sweat

so much, man. I'd just let's see. And, you know, that's in the hands of one single and unique person, uh, and he's sat in front of me.

To, I, what I see, I'm in front is, it's, to where I'm I was a person completely different.

Today, I'm almost accomplished to have passed on the job. And bravo, man. What I'm what I'm.

What I'm what I'm saying, Raff, is that you're far. Rest, far. You merit the respect of all the world. No one

any of them merit to pass by what you've passed. And I'm just content that there's resources that's there

to help, to help, to support, that you have the lucidity to want to go to go ahead

and not to look in the past, your past will always to see,

but he is in in the you're in front and you're what I'm what I'm just that's just try to protect

your world your planet because the planet there's just one if we're there's just that the people will be able to

come and me want to give a tap in the door and continue that it will it will make really pleasure

and put the My bra. And let's the children be the infant. Let's the

innocence of an infant to be innocent. Well, just at a certain point. No,

but in the sense that, you have there, you know, let's say, and let's be

these people, abuser not the person because it will give a lot of

a part of the mal. Raff. Thank you, my chum. Thank you. Sincerement, man, and force to you, man.

I'm not sure. You're, you're at least that we'll let's, you know, certain of your co-ordinated, your Instagram, your Facebook,

if there are people who are to write with that, your call-a- your call-a- whatever. You know,

what you're what you're doing to us to let's, if there are people who want to to get in contact with

you, description YouTube, a little click, it's, it's a courier

that's what you want to know, my courier is RAPH dot A

19 in commercial Gmail.com if you can be on Facebook it's Raphael

Cote RAPH RAPH R-A-L Cote But, but look,

of the YouTube, description of the podcast YouTube cord of Ravale

it's it's fun it's fun in the fun in I'm I'm a super

great community who who To see, you say, I want to give a tap in the door, I know I know, I know the people who who know the people who are,

and I know that you're doing to give up, and I guess that you're in merit, and I see that you feel like, even if it's a courierle, sometimes, it's, let's not, rest far, you know, hesitate not,

you know, you, do you merit this tap in the door, man. Rest far, rest focus. Bianca, does it be a chance? I hope that you've appreciated

this episode, that, as I I've appreciated even if it's not easy, even if it's not easy, to be able to talk about.

I don't know.