Au Parloir - Épisode #97 - Sam Inspiration

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is presented by the OCS pre-rules summer sale. Sometimes, when you're rolling your own joint, things don't really go as you thought. Sometimes it's too loose. Sometimes it's too fragile. Sometimes there's even a lot of mud because your best friend has teased you too much and then you've missed your joint. There are a million ways to roll a joint, but there's just one joint that's always perfect. The pre-rules. Discover our summer sale at Os.ca and participant stores. Suspense fans, get ready.

Starting point is 00:00:33 The third installment of the original, audible and expensive series. Oracle III. Murder in the Grand View. After the success of the first two titles, Agent Nate Russo is back for a new investigation, as mysterious as addictive. An isolated island, a hotel, an unexplained death and a persistent doubt. Is it an accident or a murder? With the solo performance of Patrick Labé, which delivers an intense, captivating and acclaimed narration by the fans. Don't let your fears take over.

Starting point is 00:01:03 Available now on audible.ca in French and English. Listen to Oracle 3, Murder at the Grand View, wherever you are, when you want to. Hi everyone, welcome to a new episode of the Podcasts in the Halls, which we're now shooting in the studios 4771 in Sainte-Therese. If you want to support the podcast, there's the Patreon.

Starting point is 00:01:29 Patreon.com slash HauteParloir. It's a paid website where you can access the episodes six weeks in advance. And during the first six weeks on Patreon, if you listen to it on YouTube, no ads. Speaking of YouTube, if you're not subscribed to the channel, subscribe. Leave a like, a comment if you liked the episode, share it on your social media, it will take you two seconds for me, it makes a big difference. cedricbergeron.com which is my website where you have access to all my social media, everything that is related to my career, humor, shows, tickets, etc. The clothes

Starting point is 00:02:03 by law may be different. You often, ce logo-là, Anro. Anro, c'est une compagnie de vêtements québécoise. Le propriétaire, c'est un ami. Je porte leurs vêtements pas parce qu'ils me payent. Au contraire, ils me payent pas. Ils me donnent un peu de linge, mais j'aime leurs vêtements, j'aime le style, j'aime le look. Et on s'est associé avec eux.

Starting point is 00:02:22 Maintenant, c'est eux qui vont faire la merch au parloir. Donc, les chandails, les hoodies,. And we've partnered up with them. Now it's them who are going to do the merch at the parlour. So the shirts, the hoodies, maybe soon the caps. And so there's still the link on my website that will bring you to the parlour link of the Anro shop. And now, parlour 15, 15% discount if you buy it, whether it's the merch at the parlour or clothes at Anro. So it's a merch or an enroo shirt.

Starting point is 00:02:45 So there's a promo code for that. Today we received Sam. Sam Inspiration. Chris who's wearing his name right. Sam is inspiring. Sam is not a guy who has been doing this for a while. But Sam is a guy who spent time, but Sam is a guy who had big consumption problems. Alcohol, coke, games. He repeated patterns that he didn't want to...

Starting point is 00:03:17 Basically, he saw the adults around him and he didn't want to look like them. And he did exactly what he didn't want to do, that is, look like the adults around him. A journey that hasn't always been easy. Stress, anxiety, performance anxiety. I loved this podcast. We talked for almost two and a half hours. Sometimes I don't know what to say, sometimes I don't know what to say. Listen to this podcast. We talked for almost two and a half hours. Sometimes I know what to say, sometimes I don't know what to say.

Starting point is 00:03:47 Listen to this episode. Sincerely, if you have consumption issues, you don't know how to deal with it, you don't know if you can get out of it, listen to it. It bears its name without my inspiration. Once again, I repeat myself, I don't necessarily endorse gestures, ideologies, the terms used by my guests, but I'm a person who takes the freedom of expression. I like frank people who speak with their hearts. Welcome to the speaking room.

Starting point is 00:04:10 This episode is presented by the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra-Wide Hot, the Manscape. That's a lot of words to say. You talked about a thing. It's actually Manscape. If you don't know Manscape, it's all you're talking about. Look, I know, I'm shave my head off my elbow. In fact, Manscape is the same tinder, this one, it's the same tinder that is used by millions of men, now offered with a white and golden finish.

Starting point is 00:04:36 So it's as elegant as its performances are. And I confirm it to you, the performances of the Manscape razors are impeccable. But it's not just a Roswell with a beautiful appearance. The 5.0 Ultra is designed to take care of your most sensitive areas, like your elbows. With its double-headed system, its integrated LED lights and its SkinSafe technology, which makes it so you don't cut yourself when you use it, no matter what skin style you use. It helps reduce the risk of cut and irritation, where it really counts.

Starting point is 00:05:09 It is completely waterproof, so you can use it in the shower, delivered with an elegant travel case, and frankly, whether it's for an appointment, a trip, or just to feel good, it's the perfect tool. Meetings on men'scape.com and use the promo code PARLOIR15 to get 15% discount and free delivery. Take care of yourself as you deserve it. And that's a guy who's going to be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Yes. I mean, there are people who came from afar, but I think that at the time... Well, one of them came from the Gaspésie, but he was pretty far away.

Starting point is 00:06:11 So, listen, you got lost to come here, so I really thank you for that. We're going to talk about Sam Inspiration, we're going to talk about your journey, a journey that starts, like everyone else, unless you're really special. At birth, youth, which corner do you come from, did you grow up like everyone else, unless you're really special. At birth, youth, which corner do you come from? Which family do you grow up in? I'm from a small village, almost 2000 inhabitants. In which corner? In the Bas-Saint-Laurent.

Starting point is 00:06:38 So you're still in your corner. I'm still in the corner of the Porte de la Gaspésie. Perfect. I have a family. We have two others., on est deux, on a deux autres. J'ai une grande soeur et un petit frère. Mes parents, ils ont eu mon petit frère, les mêmes parents. Mon petit frère a dix ans plus tard que moi. Fait que j'ai joué le rôle de grand frère à un bout.

Starting point is 00:06:59 Puis quand mon père, mes parents se sont lassés, moi j I was 16 or 17. It was hard for the family. My father left everything behind. He stopped teaching. We had a ten-year-old cellar in Sam's house in this small village in Price. My father called it the cellar in Sam's house because I was the mascot of the village. Okay. I was six years old, but everyone knew me from the village.

Starting point is 00:07:31 So I had fun doing my odd dog. When we had our odd dog, a day, a coin. It was the length of the day, we planted two pancarts on each side of me, and then we announced odd dog and coin. So that's it. So when my little brother came to the world, I took care of him. I was afraid to have a little brother at the age of 10. And he came later that I took care of my little brother as a little more paternal.

Starting point is 00:07:56 But just, I came because you said, you know, my father stopped teaching, he lost everything at that time. When it separated. When it separated, but he had a canteen and he was a teacher? He sold his canteen. He never had the ability to teach a full year. And now it must be five or six years that he doesn't teach anymore. That's something that comes... Because my father was a business man for me.

Starting point is 00:08:21 He worked all the time. We never missed anything when I was young. My father was a hockey team in the summer, and it was all I wanted. And that's it. It makes me happy to see my father... as low as he is today. So I understand that it wasn't really his decision,

Starting point is 00:08:41 the separation between parents or... The abuse, now. Yeah, that's it. He hasn't been able to... Was it not his decision to separate from his parents? He was abused. Yes, that's it. He still has the burden to fix it. He will be fine for a while, but then it's everyone's fault. You have to feel guilty about it. Did your mother meet someone else? Yes.

Starting point is 00:09:03 Quickly? A childhood friend. Okay. Yes. But they are happy, it's been nine years. They are married. And in my last years, I was lucky to have my father-in-law. To bring you back.

Starting point is 00:09:19 Yes, he was there. He was a guy who didn't say a word. But just his presence reassured me. Because I knew I was pleasing my mother and that I was hurting my mother. But I knew that my father-in-law had done a little bit more to bring back my mother. What is it like to become a father figure for a 6 year old? Yes, my brother played hockey. For me, I played hockey, and he played good hockey, and my brother,

Starting point is 00:09:53 I wanted him to do like me a little bit, because my father, he did that with me. I was, I had to do the teams. Because your father was, he didn't, even if he was present, he wasn't really there. Yes, because he was busy, busy, busy. Busy and managing his separation at the same time. Yes, but I'll say that when my father was playing hockey, my father was still there. Yes, but I'm talking about you with your brother. Because he doesn't have a paternal figure as your father.

Starting point is 00:10:25 Exactly. He talks to my brother, he has a contact with my brother, but I do live with my brother, I do real. That's right, as I said, he's present but he's not there. Exactly. And then, school, how does it go? For me, school is... I was good at school. And first class, from year in sixth grade. No, that's not true.

Starting point is 00:10:48 First year in sixth grade, first class. In sixth grade, I had my father as a teacher. Okay. Oh! That's good. I almost had to see with my daughters, I was like, who wouldn't want to be a teacher for my children? But that was my year when I dropped out of school from 1st grade to 3rd or 4th grade. And I remember my father, we were one father in the 27th group.

Starting point is 00:11:12 And he made 13 teams out of two. And I was alone all year. It's like... Yeah. We often say... It's not... I think if you're say, you know, it's not... I think if you're in a hockey team, it's your dad who's the coach, it's you who's going to skate hard, you skate faster, and you're going to do more push-ups,

Starting point is 00:11:33 and you're going to do the same thing. You know, we got here at the end of the week, and my dad, I was the best at hockey. I was the one who was going to do the national league. I was the one who was able to do all of this, but who did it to me during the week as a school teacher. He said, there won't be any injustice this year. He said, my guy is going to be alone.

Starting point is 00:11:52 And it's not my guy, it's my student. And he said, he's calling me Mr. Stéphane. Well, it's the opposite, it's totally injustice, actually. There won't be injustice. Everyone will be together, he will be alone. It's not bad the concept of injustice. He would have been blinded. I agree, there would not be a right-hand side.

Starting point is 00:12:09 If he paid, he would have had a left-hand side instead of a right-hand side. But that's it, it put me in a state of misunderstanding. Because last week I was his little guy. I was always the same. My father came to my hockey practice every week. He checked me, checked me, checked me. I was playing hockey and sometimes I was cutting off the strongest teams. You know, from the A to the B.

Starting point is 00:12:34 And my father was defending me. I was cutting off and my father was going back to the coaches all the time. So you went from an ultra-present man to a zombie, if I can say. If I understand what you're saying, I don't know if the description is important. Yeah, that's it. And later on, when my father got separated, the first five years I tried to play the role of a saviour. I was always a saviour in life. And protector.

Starting point is 00:13:09 It made me count the mantras in my hand so that my father could see my little brother. I've been trying to save my father for the last five years. Because what I was doing was freezing myself for 25 months. I was freezing and drinking for 25 months. To forget that my father was staying at home, but he had to work. It starts well. If I talk about your primary school, how is secondary school going? Secondary school is going well.

Starting point is 00:13:42 It's going well? I'm enrolled in the harmony. Because there are four guys and 28 girls. Did you enroll in the harmony school for the girls or for your interest in music? It brought me to music. Noeline, 50 years, a second month. She brought us to Orlando, New York, everywhere. It was an incredible festival. It was a second month and I learned to perform and I was annoying. I remember saying to myself, my math teacher in the evening.

Starting point is 00:14:21 And it was impossible for me to pass. I got on the first floor and I was on the run. It was impossible for me to not pass. I was on the run from the primary school, but I did the clown of the year. I tried to make the girls laugh. That's it. But I needed to please the cops. I needed to please them. They were going to love me, I was going to laugh,

Starting point is 00:14:38 and I was going to talk about it. At the end of the year, I arrived, I said, if you don't want to see me next year, you better have 60 in my bulletin. I got 62. I didn't get attached to it. I didn't pass. So you were doing well in high school, but not as much as that. Well, I was doing well because...

Starting point is 00:14:59 You were doing well, but you weren't as good as that. I passed my high school, the same. And in my finishing school, it was written, there's only girls from Harmony who signed in there. And it was written, Sam, good luck with your high school. Good luck. I signed up for Cégep. I did maybe a month and a half until the mid-season.

Starting point is 00:15:24 I dropped out. That's it. Maybe a month and a half until the mid-session. I let go of that. Yeah. You said that when your father, when you separated, you were about 16 years old. So at the end of your high school, you said, I was drinking and I was freezing on weekends during the five years like my father. When does it start?

Starting point is 00:15:42 How does it go into your life? The consul, the alcohol, the dope, how does it go? Well does it go into your life? The consul, the alcohol, the other things, how does it go? Well, I'm in Coke. In Coke, I have... But in Coke, you don't start in Coke at 16. At 14. In the bus, oh yeah? First consul in Coke at 14.

Starting point is 00:15:58 And it's crazy, it's expensive. It's all the same price as in Montreal, in this area. It's more expensive. I doubt the transportation... No, it's the same price. We won't talk about price. No, no, no, but... Because that's what I know.

Starting point is 00:16:17 I'm still on the coke. I'm still on it. Still today? Yes. I would do it. Again today? No. What drives you to be 14? What drives me to be 14 is that I have two or three other men who do this. They tell me that they feel good and that they feel tough. It's tougher.

Starting point is 00:16:41 I'm naive, I'm influential. I try. I try naive, I'm influential. I try. I try, but I hang on. Well, whatever. My parents have been with the speakers for a long time. I keep them because I like human people. I say that at every beginning of podcasts. A life insurance is something very important

Starting point is 00:16:59 to not let people who love you in need when you're not there anymore. But unfortunately, if you have medical conditions, if you're a little too old, if you have a criminal record, is life insurance easy to have? Not always. Compare my premium to that, they're not going to refuse. They're going to take your file,

Starting point is 00:17:16 they're going to read it, they're going to talk to you like you're a human being. They're going to take you into consideration, they're going to listen to you, they're going to find the company that will accept to give you a life insurance. They've been with me for a long time and I keep them because I have a lot of people who have been through them and who gave me positive feedback. Because it's humans who treat people not like customers, but like humans.

Starting point is 00:17:38 Contact, compare my price. There are a lot of people who make money with the stupefying, and they do it in Montreal, but in Gaspésie or Nouveau-Brunswick, when you're away from the dope, they don't just talk about weed, they don't really talk about it. The coke, the pills, it's... In Gaspésie, you're going to pay for it in the morning. Because in Gaspésie, I don't waste 6 hours at home, it's 6 o'clock in our house. It's 12 o'clock here. I understand, but you know, because people often stop. How many people do I know who are like,

Starting point is 00:18:13 you know, the mothers of the region, you know, you move to Montreal, full of drug dealers. You can be surprised how many people in the village are there. My village, almost, 2000 inhabitants. point So he implanted the police station in Price. It's a bit of a twist, John, from the region of... But... You know, you're talking about... You started at 14, you're stuck, but you're in the school harmony. Are you having problems at that point?

Starting point is 00:18:58 No. I had fun a couple of years ago. Because it's not every day, it's not at school. It's the weekend, the weekend with the guys, evening a little bit, from time to time. It's an occasional drug of pleasure. Exactly. And it's not for you on weekends at that time. Well, it's because at 14... No, I'm working in the canteen with my dad. Well, anyway.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Chris, don't talk about a 5-dollar boss. No, no. You're not going to fuck off far away. When you do it and you like it and you're used to it, you're not even going to fuck off far away. You're going to about a 5-dollar After the month and a half you did, you had the opportunity. At 17, yes. I started working as a line technician at a woodwork factory. In the varnishing. I worked about three and a half years there. It was the production line.

Starting point is 00:19:58 And I worked all night. So I finished on Friday morning at 4 a.m. In the morning? Yes. I sleep all day. Then I take off until Sunday morning. In the weekend. So that brings me to 21 years. My first therapy in Carignac. Well, wait...

Starting point is 00:20:23 It's easy to say, I start Monday morning, Sunday morning, and then for three years therapy. No, no. No, no, no, what I'm going to say is that we're going to go back a little bit. What are those three years? What is your life? Are you alone? Do you meet someone? Are you in your day-to-day? How is the week? Do you just think about your weekend? I... How do you make yourself think about the weekend? How much does it end up going from Friday 4 o'clock on Sunday to Sunday?

Starting point is 00:20:50 If three years later you're in therapy, it's because it's not Friday or Monday. That's why I want to bring you to... It's just because people tend to skip steps that I find important in order to feel the person. I do six-month-old blondes. It doesn't suit you because I don't want to spend the weekends with them. I want to spend them at the party. And I've had good girls, too. But that's it. It doesn't suit you.

Starting point is 00:21:19 A world you left at the party, are they chums? Or are they old secondary chums, old des chums ou c'est des vieux chums du secondaire, de vieux chums d'enfance ou c'est des chums qui sont venus graffer à ce te-sam-là? C'est des chums que... c'est des chums de consul. Donc des chums qui sont venus graffer à ce te-sam-là. Oui. Parce qu'à un moment donné, ils ont pas...

Starting point is 00:21:42 eux autres avec qui j'ai fait ça, mes premières fois, ils ont pas resté comme moi. Because at some point, they didn't... The others with whom I did this for the first time, they didn't stay like me. But there are people that I made them try this and they... No, one of them liked it more and was like me. So I always kept that in mind. It can be something that... far from giving you the idea of, hey, you can be able to do it just the way of, hey, it's possible that you're able to do just the Final

Starting point is 00:22:06 Man, you know, just don't touch that, you know. But you know, it's often in the genes, you know. Because if there are some who are going to do it, they're going to do like, it was cool, but not so much, I'll maybe do it three times in my life and in the future. But there are very few firsts who... it's a revelation for some people. When you have an addictive behavior, you're not necessarily addicted to drugs. You can have a lot of addictions. I'm addicted to drugs.

Starting point is 00:22:39 I have an addictive behavior, and I know it. That's why I keep myself away from certain things. I was lucky because I was caught up in a lot of things. I was in self-medication for a while, but I never had a problem with consumption. I'm someone who has a problem with consumption, but I don't have a problem with consumption. There's a good nuance between the two. I'm able to not consume, it's not a problem for me. But when I consume, I become a problem.

Starting point is 00:23:11 That's why I don't consume anymore. Not because I'm not able to stop. It's just that when I am, I don't like who I become. In fact, most people around me don't like who I become. So... Well, it's... It's a necessity. If I get drunk, it's the drink that brings me... Well, it's everyone.

Starting point is 00:23:34 The drink... At first, I couldn't... I could go without. Let's say at 17, 18, until my first therapy, I could go without. It's those who, in the evening... Oh, you're going to the gym at night saying, not at night!

Starting point is 00:23:49 I'm going to end up doing it. But as soon as you have a 4-5 beer to drink, and you start to get drunk, you're like, I think I'm going to have a little bit of a hangover. It's a little pattern, a little stigely pattern. And I liked that, you know. I liked that at least. I would come out, Iais dans un p'tit bar à Montgélie, dans mon bout. Un p'tit bar, j'arrivais là, j'soupais, j'm'installais.

Starting point is 00:24:14 Pis là, mettons, j'suis trainé un gramme sous moi. Dans c'ta même trois ans là, d'une huit, trois ans et demi d'une huit, ben le vendredi souvent, dans un p'tit gramme, I had three and a half nights. She would sell ten of them, a gram. I started eating. I ate before... And that's it. I had two big beers. In the city of Montjoli,

Starting point is 00:24:37 there were big 50s. Big 50s of pills. The 50s are gone, but the pills are not. We're weird. I had 50 tablets. Oh, 50, that's a lot. Tablets, that's a lot. You know, we're weird. You see a man doing that, and you say, hmm, it looks good.

Starting point is 00:24:54 So that's what happened to me. I often trusted the others to try that. But I was so convinced that I thought it was good. And then I took it for dinner, click. But I was so confused that I couldn't find it. And then I took it to the restaurant. Click!

Starting point is 00:25:09 We left. Alcohol. Alcohol, drugs, games. Because everything was in the same place. There's everything. I can go play on the machine and put 500. Put 800. I don't have a background.

Starting point is 00:25:28 I was playing the machine and I was playing piano. I was disgusting. I don't remember how I still respected myself in my corner. Because I'm your heart. What do you mean? I sniffed the machine. She would say that you and the toilet would only fight with that. Because people knew that I was...

Starting point is 00:26:00 She's going to pay for the pig, so you don't want to let her go, Jean-Len? The more I do, the more she's going to pay. Are you a guy who can come with an aggressive attitude? Yes. Physically, with the machine, with the world, in your words? I built my first machine when I was 17. Ok, the game is going far away. I built a first machine when I was 17. Ok, so the game starts from a long time ago. It starts from 17.

Starting point is 00:26:31 I had it. With the night job. Did you live with your parents when you came to Egypt? Addictive. I guess I was your mother. You're my father. I was 5 years old. Ok, so you lived with him for that five years. You tried to support him.

Starting point is 00:26:47 Okay, okay. So during the day, you manage your father a little. You try to support him. I sleep. You work at night. I sleep during the day. You sleep? I sleep, but I go to bed late in the morning, like 7 or 8 o'clock. Then I go to bed and I hear it.

Starting point is 00:27:05 All the time. Because he's dead? Yes. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Your father, he barely got wet to heal like that. And you say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. When I went out last week, my father stayed at home. He waited for me at 3 a.m.

Starting point is 00:27:30 I went home tomorrow. He said, you see, the apple is not far from here. He said that? I was sitting at the table, I was fighting with my father. That was... That was...

Starting point is 00:27:50 That was playing me in the head. Because I became... I became what I didn't want to be. And he was confirming me that I became what I didn't want to do. And he was confirming that I was doing what I didn't want to do. You were doing exactly what you were doing. You were seeing yourself. I was seeing myself later.

Starting point is 00:28:16 And you weren't breaking for what you were seeing? No. But you were able to see yourself in the same way? Yes. It wasn't... I wasn't controllable for me. I won... The first night I played at the machine at 17, I won 178 dollars.

Starting point is 00:28:36 It was part of my decision to launch the Ségé. Because I think I put 15 dollars in my bank account. I said to myself, I earned 178 dollars. I'm able to earn my living with machines. So the next day, I went back and I got the 178 dollars I had earned. I said to myself, before I came back, she doesn't pay all the time. So at one point, I told my dad I was going to San-Equip, to the Major, to listen to a gig. Dad, will you give me some money? My dad gave me 100$.

Starting point is 00:29:19 I talked to him, I went to the dooly and play with the machine. Then the machine bugged me in the face at $88. I had no problem changing my blood. I lined it up. At $88, it bugged me in the face. Because I couldn't see it running and I was pressing the button, I didn't have a knife and I punched was on the cameras. 850 bia.

Starting point is 00:30:09 Damage demand in the case of Influentials, the machine. It's not a problem that's starting to be a problem of games, is it? The console was there, so... Not all the time. Did you ever play? No.

Starting point is 00:30:26 So it was really a pattern, a change. It started from something that was different. It started from a beer. Then it was a line. Then I wanted to play the machine. Go ahead. I was in my trip. I was in my trip when all of this happened.

Starting point is 00:30:46 You were well? Yes. I thought you were. It's my memories that it brought me adrenaline to the rocks. I was well. Even though I knew that around me I looked like a weird guy. Were you, let's say, in that bar, for example, your usual bar in Montjoli,

Starting point is 00:31:13 were you the only one or were you a couple? Was it a bar with a pattern? I was used to starting my evenings alone. I started my evenings alone. Because machines... I came from my mother's house this morning and I messed it up. It was something. It was lying to my mother.

Starting point is 00:31:43 No, there's only wine for fun. I tripled my wine and I'd stop at 30 bucks. I could have put 800. I lied to my mom. I was a liar with my parents. You come from a place, a loving father who is a hockey player, and you have a beautiful childhood. And nothing predestined you to that? A beautiful childhood was the chicanx, the chicanx, the chicanx in the house. So your parents didn't divorce for nothing?

Starting point is 00:32:14 No, they were 21 years old together. Because it's not a good... No. ... good relationship. I don not like it's been a long time since it's been a good relationship. For me, it was the family chicanx. Christmas parties... ...on my father's side, it was all the time. It ended up all the time in extreme chicanx, in mess.

Starting point is 00:32:42 And I remember, because I came to... I never said I wanted to live that, or that I was going to be older. I said, I'm going to see one day the strength to not make me more anxious tomorrow, if I get older, when it's going to get to me tomorrow. I was telling myself that. Young in in Christ, it's not that. Adults don't realize the adjustments we have and have included in there, because I relate extremely to what you just said. I understand perfectly this atmosphere of partying with family

Starting point is 00:33:21 who's going to go and beat have fun with your brother and your father. I've seen it. I have a great uncle with my grandfather. I've seen it with him. Sometimes, they don't realize the image that adults project us when we leave them with things that... You don't need to see your mother smoking rock to be impacted. It's just things that are said. But it's from other generations. I'm a little older than you anyway.

Starting point is 00:33:54 And my father, the day after tomorrow, my grandfather, the three brothers... Everyone is chill, everyone le monde est cool avec ça. Ah, on s'est dit, m'excuse, hein. Là, ça brouille. Ça brouille. Entre Noël puis Jour de l'An, puis Chris au Jour de l'An, ça ressoit encore. C'était tout du monde qui était à la jeun, j'imagine, hein. Puis j'avais ma petite grand-mère là grandmother in there, Louise. And you know, she left first.

Starting point is 00:34:33 And she didn't have that easy a time in Christ. She had three guys. Your uncles have a little bit of the same pattern as your father. Today, I can say that I've had a few and often two others. Today, I'm proud of the others because they replaced each other. But Chris, they've done me a few often. In the mess. I was always in a mess. And my grandmother,

Starting point is 00:35:12 she didn't want it to be the same. She was a lefty. And my grandmother, she was the first. My grandmother is my superior power. Because I could go to the chalet, there was a chalet two hours from their house, and my parents had three businesses when I was young. So I was always with my grandparents.

Starting point is 00:35:48 Weekend holidays, I could go with my grandparents to the woods. And my grandmother, you know, my grandmother had me until I was 10 years old in the bath. She would even slap me. I'm flattered, ma'am. And then she left first. I... I... I... I'm so confused because the last time someone talked about their grandmother, as you're doing it, you're not the first, and the last time I broke up because I had this relationship. grand-mère comme t'es en train de le faire, t'es pas le premier. Puis la dernière fois, j'ai cassé parce que j'ai eu cette relation-là. Et de mon côté aussi, c'est la première qui est partie de tous mes grands-parents.

Starting point is 00:36:31 C'est la première qui nous a quittés, puis c'était ma deuxième mère. Fait que je comprends. Je sais qu'on peut avoir un attachement très, très fort avec une grand-mère qui, surtout quand on est dans un espace qui... Quand un humain peut être un safe space, pas nécessairement un endroit, mais un humain peut en être un, pis je comprends tellement. Mais en même temps, tu sais, elle a...

Starting point is 00:36:56 elle a pas vu ce que t'as été. Non, mais tu comprends ce que je veux dire, tu sais? What you were. Do you understand what I'm saying? I think it's a good thing because my grandmother was very young and had a lot of reasons. My grandmother was a sinner all her life. She caught cancer three months later and she passed away. She fought all her life and at the end she said, you were going to beat me. She never complained about anything, my grandmother.

Starting point is 00:37:38 Never. She didn't have a good life and she didn't go to the hospital. It was two years ago. And my grandfather found Mortezouen in the organ to look for his spleen. He was dead. So it's been going down in your genes since a couple of generations? Yes, and I know that genetics is a big part of the problem. A lot. It's a pattern that repeats itself. It's not just that you grew up in such a...

Starting point is 00:38:16 It's really something genetic. There are research that have been done on it, really. Alcoholic parents, biologically, even if you didn't know your parents, you can have this famous gene. And not just genetics, but visually the word I was looking for. Banalized. Yes, banalized is even better. It was that. Alcohol, weed, it was banalized. I had a parental okay. When you see that, it's normalized. It's easy to go back in the pattern until you've crossed the limit because you've entered other things in your life.

Starting point is 00:39:10 From 17 to 20, 20-21. We talked about it starting from Friday to Monday, but it repeats itself. But the problem of playing at the moment, because you think, I don't know how much you earn in your floor-to-floor factory, but you're not a millionaire, but what if you pass from 7 to 800 in a machine, maybe it ends up paying money, but clearly not enough to pay back all the... Never, never.

Starting point is 00:39:33 Except that it's like every time she rings the bell, you forget all the times she lost, for example. Oh yeah. And you see her in the evening while you're sleeping. You close your eyes and you see him in the evening while you're asleep. You close your eyes and you're in the payphone. I told you, the addictions, the addictions I had, I was sick, man. And I had an addiction, I was excessive in my addiction. I never had enough. Never. What made you think about a bell for the first time in 20 years?

Starting point is 00:40:10 Your first therapy. You pointed at me. You talked about it twice. You pointed at me. Yes, I did the two last sentences of philosophy that want to say everything. I, who was in the super, finally gave myself the chance to get out of it. I left from there on April 1st, 2018. What was the trigger to go to therapy? Need to be pleased. So you didn't do it for yourself? No.

Starting point is 00:40:37 My mom will be happy. I'm going to get a boot. My parents will think I'm in the game. What does therapy mean to you? Nothing. It's not like you're telling me, this is the first thing I did. Usually when we mention that it's the first thing we did, it's because it's not the last. Because when we don't do it for ourselves...

Starting point is 00:41:04 No, I don't think so. premier qu'on a fait parce que c'est pas en derrière, parce que quand qu'on la fait pas pour soi. Ah non, moi, ça... C'est rare. Je dis pas que ça arrivera jamais parce que j'ai quelqu'un qui est venu ici pis qu'il a commencé une thérapie pour sauver du temps. Pas pour lui, pour sauver du temps. Mais il s'est laissé la chance pis elle a fonctionné. Tant mieux, tant mieux. Pis je veux pas dire, c'est à fait pas pour...

Starting point is 00:41:20 Ça se peut que ça marche. À la limite, ça va te donner des outils. Exact. Probablement que t'as eu des outils là-dedans qui vont t'aider pour la prochaine aussi. T'apprends à vivre. At least it will give you tools. Exactly. You probably have tools in there that will help you for the next one. You learn to live. You learn to live. Do you do it in full? I do the 5-week PAD program.

Starting point is 00:41:35 Okay. Do you manage to stay sober, no game? Six months. No, but you did a lot of therapy, you were clean. Oh yes. You did well. I didn't do it for myself, but I did it anyway. You still give yourself the chance.

Starting point is 00:41:54 Yes. And... You know, I was... I did it, I finished it. I was proud of myself. By finishing.. I was proud of myself. In the end. Because I was a certain denial that... I didn't know at that time that I wasn't doing it for myself.

Starting point is 00:42:13 Because every day you're being treated like a soldier. You're being handled, you're managing your behavior. You know? So... I didn't see that I didn't do it for myself. But clearly, I saw my family at the end of it all, and... I said to Chris, yes, damn... But it lasted six months after that. I got stuck.

Starting point is 00:42:38 And the trigger to get stuck? I'm capable. Do you want to test me or...? I don't like it. I work on these roofs in Trois-Rouvières. I go back home after my therapy. Right after my therapy. At your place? In your neighborhood?

Starting point is 00:43:00 In my neighborhood. I do therapy in Trois-Rouvières, Maison Carignan. I go back to Monjolie in my neighborhood. Do you live with your parents or...? With my mother. Thérapie à Trois-Rivières, Maison Carignan. Je retourne à Montgélie dans mon coin. Je vis chez tes parents ou...? Je suis ma mère. Oui. Je suis ma mère, puis c'est ça. Là, je me...

Starting point is 00:43:15 Deux jours de temps, félicitations, Sam, félicitations. Wow! Il est fier de toi. Oui. Là, je hais de... Parce que toi, tu veux pleurer? Ben oui. Et puis la jeunesse, tu veux pleurer? Wow. You're proud of yourself. Yes. I hate to... Because you want to cry. Yes. And you want to cry when you're young. I need to cry.

Starting point is 00:43:28 He's there. But it comes from somewhere, because I knew this year that I had performance anxiety. We don't know that. Except that when we're told to explain it with our behavior, we understand it. I'll tell you, when you're in quarantine and you're diagnosed with your symptoms, and you're told to explain it, you're like, Oh, okay, all that, okay.

Starting point is 00:44:02 That's how I feel, yeah. Yeah, that's it. So, no more cave. I'm done. Thank you, Jéréal. I'm not stupid. There's a lot of things. But that's it.

Starting point is 00:44:18 It doesn't work. I stay 4-5 days at my mom's. My pretty one. I have a depression. I'm a little depressed. I'm all alone again, I don't work anymore. So I have to offer myself to stay with a lover of my mother in Charest, near Trois-Rivières. I find myself a job, it's you and them.

Starting point is 00:44:38 Because the job of the floor is that you let me... I like that. You never lost it because... Did you leave or your case was problematic? I was at my countermeasure, I went to therapy, and after that they wanted to see me again. I was always a valiant, performing. Despite? I was zero, zero manual, but in the end I was able to change gearboxes and

Starting point is 00:45:06 dust lamps. But on the right, I was shocked to find myself on a dust lamp. But I get myself together. But that's it, they want to take me back when I have a therapy session, but I'm not able to stay in the area. Because I know I'm going to get stuck in the next few days if I stay there. Which is a good minding to not stay where everything is gone. So I'm going to Trois-Rivières to stay on the same map. I'm starting to build roofs. Build roofs and...

Starting point is 00:45:38 Let's say that the roof team... We don't put all the roof guys in the same pattern. No. I'm a good My mom is happy. I don't want anyone to take it. Especially not my mom. But one evening, two bombs, I remember. Urgh! I remember 50 tablets that were bombed, I think. Two bombs, then I think. Two pumped. Then it fell in the bag.

Starting point is 00:46:29 It was free. It was... It didn't take more. I felt sick. I felt sick in the neck. After or on the neck? On the neck. I mean, it was done.

Starting point is 00:46:46 I understand, but it wasn't done the next morning. It was done yesterday. No, no. It was done. I was sitting at the bar. We were drinking a big beer. I wasn't paying. I was wondering what I was doing. But it was too late, so fuck off Sam.

Starting point is 00:47:04 That's right. As long as it was done. I said to myself, what am I doing here? But he's too late, so fuck off Sam. Oh, my God. As long as she did it, it's already too late, so we're going to go all-in. So I said, it doesn't work, I have to go back home. In my native area, in my Jolies. I'm going back there.

Starting point is 00:47:20 But then I do a walk, I see a job offer for Coke, a merchandiser for Coke, Coca-Cola. Aramouzki in my neighborhood. What a nice irony, you worked at Coke. At the beginning, they didn't have... Oh yeah, I know, yeah, the story. For that, Coke was a thing.

Starting point is 00:47:37 And it ended up with a style, the straw. It was straight for that. It's a can of Coca-Cola, don't you think? But that's it. So I go there, I'm engaged and everything. I start that, I like that. I go in, I place orders in the grocery stores. Then it takes a year or two and they give me a title

Starting point is 00:47:56 as a representative merchant. I take my orders in my places, and after that I have the places when they are delivered. Are you asking? No. No, no, no. Okay, is that the... The skidding at Trois-Rivières, place. I had done in therapy. Forget that, I didn't offer you. I didn't offer you and then I was a waiter at a small restaurant of seafood in St. Flavie.

Starting point is 00:48:33 At the same time you were making the Coke and serving in a restaurant. So I was making the Coke, the week 40-45 hours. I worked 4-5 evenings a week in a seasonal restaurant, seasonal seafood restaurant, open four or five months. And then I made money. Money in cash. I went out every night with a pallet of money. That wasn't my first blue.

Starting point is 00:49:00 Well, it was, OK, well, I'm going to put 150 in the patente, and I'm going to put 150 in the machines. For those who don't know, patente is like coke. It's like a snowman, I call it that. So that's it. And if I don't drink on Friday night, because I control myself, the next day I'll put 300 in the machine. It's a bit of a human thing.

Starting point is 00:49:33 I don't make any sense with what I do to be off on Friday. Because you're rewarding yourself by doing it twice and putting it twice. Reduction is bad. I learned that. It never worked with me and it won't work. But reduction is bad. Zero. If you say, I'm going to do nothing but a party in a week. But Christ, you take the same amount in the end. It doesn't work.

Starting point is 00:50:03 So I can tell you that if you have I'm going home with a hangover. And not bad. But that's it. Do you manage to hide it? Yes, all the time. All the time. Because you don't want complaints? No. That was the problem of my life. Need of complaints, need of insecure approval. Needs to be pleased, needs to be approved, insecure.

Starting point is 00:50:30 Needs to be approved, it was incredible in adolescence. Incredible. And I'm young and anxious. I have a lot of problems. I put the curtains on my parents on the sofa so that it doesn't catch fire in the electric plants. And I'm maybe eight or nine years old and I attack the toilet one who's caught on fire in an electric plane. I was maybe eight or nine years old, and I was waiting for the toilet to finish, before I left the bathroom.

Starting point is 00:50:50 You had to be sure it wasn't a dump and that it wasn't a water leak. I was checking the shampoos, and almost broke them. Then she passed me the same thing around, she turned on the light, she turned around in the bathroom, checked the toilet, she checked again, but okay, now I'm okay. I go outside, sometimes the toilet. I go out and check the toilet.

Starting point is 00:51:06 I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. I go out and check the toilet. But you have to check. I have to check. But it's late today. I explained that to my mother this week. I said, it's insecurities that will make me prevent me from worrying in the long run,

Starting point is 00:51:34 on certain things, that I give myself the right to do because it reassures me. I know I won't get into anxiety in my head, in anxiety. I spent 10 years of my life with assets in my wallet. It was the same problems, they were better, but I had them. But if I left without them, I wouldn't take them. I had them. I had them. There were years, I took the plane, I went to see, I made a prescription of assets.

Starting point is 00:52:01 I didn't take them. I had them. These are banknotes that we create. They are support. And it's a mental becky. It's a mental becky. I was talking about addiction earlier. That was one thing because the ativan creates a psychological dependence and not physical. It's a medical error that doesn't create physical but psychological addiction.

Starting point is 00:52:25 And that was me. I was active for a long time. I didn't necessarily take it, but I needed my skin. And listen, Viry, for Montreal, Quebec, I'm in Trois-Rivières, I don't have my skin, I'm going to be on the side. So I understand the... If only you needed it. It's good, that's it. You know, panicking at the idea of panicking. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:47 Fear of having fear. But it comes back because we started in the tocs. But, so, you work at Co, you work there, you make money, you fall back into your pattern. Do you stay there on weekends? Or do you quickly go to... Yes, I stay there on weekends because I can't... Oh, that's true. You tell me, yes I stay on weekends because I can't... Oh, you tell me, yes, on Friday you... Sometimes you say, hey, I can't...

Starting point is 00:53:10 Well, we're leaving, we're coming... Yes, that's it, Monday... So, that's it. I work for Co. After four years, I hire a new representative. I'm the one who trains him. Four years ago, I'm asking myself, I show him new representative. I was the one who formed it. It's been four years since I've been walking around, showing him shows all over the place.

Starting point is 00:53:28 Super Bowl shows, Christmas shows, it's incredible. My bosses love me. And that makes you happy, doesn't it? Yeah. And I know they love me. I left for Christmas. I didn't have a belt anymore, he had a heart. So my boys from Quebec, with my team,

Starting point is 00:53:52 want to fight with another representative. The next day, that's what I do, and I call him in a row. What does it make you think of? And I call him in a row. What does it make you think of? It reminds me a little of the family partnership you had. So I'm getting mad. If you see what you don't want, you become what you don't want. What your father told you when you were 17 or 18.

Starting point is 00:54:21 And you know, so much... So much mental cross-exam for me. 17, 18. He said, I'm not the same age, but we don't have the same evening. You want to fight with her, you say? Oh, yes. Not seriously. Oh yes. I knew all that. I tried to make you do that, but it's okay. We're not better than us for our own bullshitting. Did you watch your job? Yes. I never left a job. You're not better than us for your own I never missed a day of work. You know, I have the impression that the problem of wanting to be happy was a problem, but at the same time, for the professional side, I think it was a good thing. Because you want to, despite everything, despite the company, you still manage to be focused on your job because you want...

Starting point is 00:55:37 You don't want to have that reputation that you have in those places. So you know, there's two sands. Really, really, really. I'm a public guy. My father is a ten-year-old canteen. At seven, I had a little house in the house, and I made people pay when he was in the jujube. To give him an extra hand, he made hot dogs, sandwiches.

Starting point is 00:56:03 I went up to the cash and I pay the world. You know, I'm in the public, I like that. So I get offered a job. I see the job, I go in. Do you need a magician? A keel party in Montjoli, I give you a keel league. Well yes. When you work this summer, I take that, I love that. So there, I love it.

Starting point is 00:56:25 So, after four years at Co, they hired me a new representative. You're not less, you're so good. I'm not less, we have two hours of road to go to Saint-Ton-des-Monts, by going to the Gaspésie. It's not worse. How much do you want? $2500 more than me. He's one more than you?

Starting point is 00:56:49 Yes. I called my boss. I said, JS, I'll give you my resignation. I'll give you three weeks. He said, no, it seems like it's happening. I said, less. I'll give you three weeks. I'm not even giving you a reason. I'll give you three weeks.

Starting point is 00:57:10 Because in my head, you'll find me with 25 cents. But I have values in life. It's a matter of principle. So I give myself three weeks, I do these three weeks, I'll see the board. And I don't want it to be in the way. And I didn't want him to try to get in the way. So I made the orders in consequence that it was a new representative who would replace me.

Starting point is 00:57:32 So that's it. One day he reminds me, I didn't even work with the others. He reminds me and he says it was for salary. I said no. I said I thought I was well paid. But 25 cents too low. He turned it on. Well, Pepsi came to get me right away. So I went for Pepsi for four years.

Starting point is 00:57:58 I exchanged restaurants. I exchanged restaurants. I went to a big Aramouzki restaurant, but it's a big one, a 150-seat armouski. It's a 50% on Monday on all the plates. Thursday, second plate at 3.94. We're always in the crowd. So, I drink, I drink, I drink. I finish work in the evening, a glass of wine, a little pint of beer. Do you drink? No. Not that much? Fini de travailler le soir, coupe de vin, petite pagne de bier. Trac.

Starting point is 00:58:26 Ben non. Pas si bien. C'est la semaine, je travaille le lendemain. OK. Fait que t'arrive pendant longtemps, la semaine, t'arrive à... Prendre une bière ou deux, oui. Mais à toi, les soirs. À toutes les soirs.

Starting point is 00:58:40 Puis quand j'arrive chez nous pis que j'ai plus le volant, souvent je me ramène une bouteille de vin du resto. À la fin tout le temps. When I got home and I didn't have the flyer, I would often bring a bottle of wine from the restaurant. At the end of the day. So it brings me to... I still drink every day. And then the weekend comes. You were on hold all week. And I come back with bigger quantities.

Starting point is 00:59:01 Because I made bigger quantities. So I'm missing good with big quantities. Because I made a lot of them. So I'm lacking some blue. It's expensive. So we have to pay for it. That's it. So I bathed a little in it. And that's the worst end of my life. Because that's where I spent the most.

Starting point is 00:59:23 You bathed a little in there I spent the most. You were a little bit in there. In the sale. I decided that I was short of money. Even if I did it every day at the restaurant, I didn't have enough to pay my consul. I went to see my dealer and buy. It's the circle, huh? We'll be more to do more, make more cash, make more powder.

Starting point is 00:59:44 So I said, I'm going to pay by selling. I'm going to have it. The brain of a dependent, an alcoholic, a drug addict, the brain of a croissant. You're sticking to yourself. You have to repeat it. There is no better croissant for yourself. It's a bit of a shame. I'm saying this today because I don't know what I would do if someone offered me a job. You don't know what you would do today? I don't know how I would react.

Starting point is 01:00:25 It's for sure I wouldn't do it. Because I thought I'd rather die than eat again. That's a sentence I repeat every day. And I say it to the world. I went pretty far in the consulate. Pretty unhappy. Pretty wondering if my brain could blow me off in the guise. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:51 And you think you want it because you provided people with the product that you brought there, the repercussions that this product can have on others, and you were the supplier of that product. So you still have have trouble managing it. Yes, because I deliver repercussions with recoil. I saw what it did to me. So that's it. I do that a lot. You're not caught?

Starting point is 01:01:20 No, never. I don't travel. I live in my neighborhood. And they all have the same world. And now they have the same world, I give them more. Because they have other people too. They have other people. So it was a vicious circle that brought me...

Starting point is 01:01:42 It consumes even more. The lack of gain. For me, it's... ... money. Do you return the machines? Oh yes. Oh yes. Because when a game player makes money and can put it in the machine, he likes it.

Starting point is 01:02:00 Well yes, and I come... I come happy. I forget all my problems when I go installing the Anabelle Machine at that time. I forget all my problems. I'm like, wow, coccinal, really. I come, man. I used to finish my evenings, I was burning up. I mean, when I first got to the police station at 17, I saw a lady flicking her python and talking to the machine. I didn't know what it was. Someone was talking to themselves.

Starting point is 01:02:39 I said, we're talking to ourselves. I wanted to do that too. There were croissant signs on the screen, then... Flatter the machine, and you're going to pay me. I'm done with you from now on. Hey, but that's heavy mentally, isn't it? It becomes heavy. Because then you have others who find you weird at that moment.

Starting point is 01:03:05 And you remember how with you, you found your world weird. You found the world weird, the ladies who were flicking their machines and talking about it. You're in trouble. So you have the behavior of your father, of your uncles, of the old ladies you judged when you were 17. So basically, everything you didn't want to be, you became it. I became it. And not without wanting to.

Starting point is 01:03:34 It's less than I thought, it's less. What is it that... Because it goes further, you know, if you make more money, you play more, you consume more. Well, I had, I forgot, I can't forget, but I was only a girl for almost five years. Ok. It ended in February 2024. in my worst moment of life, my three months of my car accident. You're going to be an accident in my car. Wait a minute.

Starting point is 01:04:13 You've been there for five years, until 2004. 2004. In 2004, you weren't old. Seven years. 2024. So 2019. So those years, Coke, Pepsi and Coke, and selling Coke and playing. She knew me, yes, in my end of Coca-Cola. Okay. And all along my Pepsi.

Starting point is 01:04:36 So, and she's like, how is this guy? The gambler who works at Pepsi, but who sells skin at the same time, who works at the restaurant, who plays, who sniffs, who drinks. Do you see him? Do you know him? Does she realize it? Do you hide him? He's younger than me. So it brings Chris to trip on me. I saw myself somewhere and Chris said, this guy, everyone's tripping with him, and it's a good thing that Sam thinks he's going to show up. I'm happy to see you, and everyone does that with me.

Starting point is 01:05:14 Because I'm... You're generous. Yeah. So that's it. She loves my tabarnak. But she's a little studious, my name. A little studious, good school, gifted. In school, in school, she did her nursing, her DEC, at the Cégep, three years of nursing. She works hard, it's hard. I admit, admit, in her studies, in her training, she works at 6.30 in the morning.

Starting point is 01:05:49 And I'm like, am I just coming home or not? I'm not coming home. And she doesn't sleep because she loves her husband. She's worried because she knows your pattern. Does she know or do you hide it? She knows. She knows because in the beginning, she knew I was consuming. But it came to what I was hiding because she asked me to stop at some point after 3 or 4 years. I was hiding.

Starting point is 01:06:30 So you were repeating with your girlfriend what you were doing with your mother? Yes. And she works, she goes to school, she has big exams, she's stressed, she never puts more stress. So that's it. She finishes, if we're sick, three years. She goes to college to become a clinician. Two years. But two years of rock, big exams, she'm a nurse, I have big examinations. With the order and everything. But I...

Starting point is 01:07:11 I never light it. I love it. I love it badly. It's badly loved. Do you like her more? Or the construction and the game? The Christ. or the consul and the game? And Chris. Today, I should have loved her more.

Starting point is 01:07:38 I should have loved her more than the consul. It's a bit too loose. Sometimes it's too fragile. Sometimes it's even full of mud because your best friend over-scooped you and the bath you escaped your joint on the ground. There are a million ways to over-scoot a joint, but there is just one joint that is always perfect. The pre-scoot. Discover our summer sale of pre-scoot at ocs.ca and my shop participants. I'm a noire des souvents. Moi aussi, c'est la fille-là, c'est la femme de ma vie pour vrai, pis j'ai christené de la maison.

Starting point is 01:08:38 Parce que je sais quel point j'ai pas été correct. J'ai jamais tu- jamais tu- j'ai jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- jamais tu- I've never been wrong. I've never been wrong in my life. You don't need to be violent to hurt someone. But those tears make me understand that you're aware at least of what you had and what you lost because of your fault. I can't even think of anyone else in my life. You know, I've a year since March 22nd that I stopped drinking. It's been a year since I stopped drinking. It's been a year since I stopped drinking. It's been a year since I stopped drinking. It's been a month since I stopped drinking.

Starting point is 01:09:35 It's been a month since I stopped drinking. It's been a month since I stopped drinking. It's been a month since I stopped drinking. It's been a month since I stopped drinking. I imagine that the end of that relationship is not your decision. Well, I was leaving one night and we didn't stay together. Ok. There had already been a break-up, let's say. Yes.

Starting point is 01:10:04 You needed to move away and concentrate on that. Because of my accident. Your accident? On January 29, 2024, I left the restaurant, I worked in the big Armouski restaurant one night. I was dead that night. I was in my office, in my life. I left the restaurant and...

Starting point is 01:10:32 I got into a crisis. Because my last few days at the restaurant, I was doing some backstabbing and I got a stomach ache. I'm not playing too much this week, for the next day, it's over. It's over and I get up in the morning. There's no more control. No. Because you've been there for a long time, you've had some control. I'm putting big parentheses there, but it's what opens.

Starting point is 01:11:04 The control is slipping. I put big parentheses, but it's what opens. Glissando control. Yes, but I put it in parentheses. If you listen to it on the audio, I made my little parentheses with my fingers. I love it. But me, it's that. So on January 29, I leave the restaurant. And I'm desperate to consume. restaurant. I was effective for two weeks. Yes, that's it. But I left my man.

Starting point is 01:11:46 I had started to say in the press release that I had been three weeks before my accident. It didn't work out after three weeks? No. In a number of... I had just landed. Okay. I had been two days. Because I had been three weeks in a bad way.

Starting point is 01:12:01 No, no. It was making me go round and round in my head, my guy. The first time I took it, I was locked in a sofa for six weeks. It was terrible. I wasn't able to work anymore. And I wasn't even able to drink. So much so that I was going... in the moon, in the moon... No, no, it was really...

Starting point is 01:12:22 But when he got on the boat two days before my accident, I went into the restaurant in the evening. It was me who managed, it was me who gave him a hot. I was a little... a little Sam. And when I left on January 29, I never... my mother came to take me to my parties, my mother came to get my car, she brought my car home.

Starting point is 01:12:42 I never heated up. But on January 29, pis moi, on pognait, je pognait le... le resto était sur le bord de la mer, sur le bord du fleuve. Pis tu t'as à peu près 10 minutes à faire sur le bord du fleuve, pis après ça, tu t'en vas pogner le taureau de vin. Mais le taureau de vin, entre Imouski pis mon gelat à Croix-Ise. Fait que moi, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, j'étais grand-mère, You have about 10 minutes to go by the river, and then you catch the wind tower. But the wind tower is between Musky and my ice cream in Croix. So I climbed it to 170,

Starting point is 01:13:13 and the first crazy guard that arrives, I take him off. You're stunned. Yeah, but not in court enough. No. Your bus was... It was over. It was over. Because I... I was so anxious, lying in my bed,

Starting point is 01:13:42 shaking like a leaf, with my teeth clacking together, I was lying in bed, shaking like a leaf, my teeth clacking together, I was shaking. I got up at the clock and I said to myself, what am I doing? What am I doing? You're going to die. I'm going to die. But after four or five hours, I knew I shouldn't have consumed, because I knew it was going to get worse and worse. But I didn't call and I didn't ask for anything. I didn't talk to anyone.

Starting point is 01:14:07 So after those hours of anguish, I got angry. One liter of wine in two glasses. The last few days, I drank 40 liters of wine a week. I'm not exaggerating. 40 liters of wine per sement. J'achetais 10-4 litres de vin à la sac. J'en buvais c'était des. Je me levais avec ça le matin, sinon j'étais malade. Je me couchais ben chaud après avoir bu 8 litres de vin une soir.

Starting point is 01:14:41 Je tapais trois hôpital letters to my ex. Three hospital letters. If you were drinking alcohol, you would be wearing an isomer. You will be wearing it. It doesn't matter. You can sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night. I'm a little grey. I'm in auked, I'm in a daze. I go to the fridge, I drink another equivalent of a liter.

Starting point is 01:15:12 I go back to my bed and it's time to sleep. It's a pretty dangerous self-medication institute. It's crazy. This accident? I'm in a dangerous situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation.

Starting point is 01:15:34 I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in a terrible situation. I'm in little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

Starting point is 01:15:50 little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a She did it, that's enough. But staying with you is just...

Starting point is 01:16:10 We both took our sides. She's going to stay with my mother, because she really doesn't feel it. Because she loves me. She's going to stay with my mother, and I'm going to stay in our apartment. apartment, nous deux. Puis là, moi, fin février, je décolle sur un... sur un esti de gos. J'ai dit, c'est beau, moi, je pense que mon coeur ne me reverrait plus, c'est fini. Mais si tu manquais la première fois, on manquait pas la deuxième. Je leur rentrais pas me ment. Oublie-moi. Mais là... Tu le câles, là? I wouldn't go back to my mother. Forget me. But then... You're talking about it.

Starting point is 01:16:48 Oh yeah. So then, finally... It was an easy call. Oh yeah, I was not able to talk to her. You know, do you really want to do it? If you tell the world, it's an easy call. But you know, you understand. Sometimes we don't even realize it because...

Starting point is 01:17:03 With my wife, you know't talk about it before. I left the restaurant in the evening. No, I understand, but sometimes it's not even... We want to do it for real, but we do it semi-final. Oh yeah, I understand. Because we call for help. We want to do it, but we don't want to do it in the meantime. Sometimes it's just...

Starting point is 01:17:22 And every night I come to my evenings, I talk to myself. I tell myself, Chris, it's going to kill me. But the next day, it comes back, my man. Angois, I'm back. I try to handle it. I asked myself, it's not, to manage myself. Now open that. I was wondering, it's not funny, at 27, I was thinking, can we die of anxiety? Can we break away from anxiety?

Starting point is 01:17:51 Well, that's what I did on the highway. It was over for me. Anxiety in the same way I didn't want it. I lived it because of me, because of my consumption, and I wasn't able to get out of my house. And the night you believed everyone that... Finally, I come back that night. But then it's over, I said it was over with my ex.

Starting point is 01:18:20 So... We never come back together. And me, it was hard. And I hid on my mother. The last time, I was not able to stay alone at home. Well, she didn't stay at your mother's. No. And now we have a switcher, she went to stay in the apartment. At least we didn't stay at your place? No. We switched now, he stayed in the apartment. At least we didn't see each other.

Starting point is 01:18:49 I hid 4 liters of red wine in the top of the wardrobe, half-baked. We were drinking and I was in the top. It didn't look good. I was in 500 ml of wine every shot. I was doing something. The vineyard directly. Oh yes, oh yes. And then four or five times, I remember, the last time I drank, I said, I said, it's over. My hand was on it, I said,

Starting point is 01:19:21 I'm going to drink it. I'm going to drink it. I'm going to drink it. And then, four or five times, I remember, the last time I was there, I said, I said, it's over. The next morning, when she saw it, I said, don't take me for a liar. A guy who doesn't accept that. A guy who doesn't take me for a liar. She said, Sam, I know you're going to go up there.

Starting point is 01:19:43 She said, I to leave it there. I said, it's beautiful, it's over. You're going to throw me in the face. It was the second time I saw that. I left on one of my chairs. I was on my feet. I was on my feet. I was on my feet. I was on my feet. I was on the store. And there's a small store next to their house. I'm going to buy myself...

Starting point is 01:20:06 I have a set of seven. You have a set? A set of seven? Yes. I'm going to buy myself a four litre of wine next to the small store. And a big 10.1. In a bottle of wine. I drink that in my hand and it goes in.

Starting point is 01:20:22 It goes in. My leg. Slick, slick. And we'll be back. And it goes in. After an hour and a half, I can't do anything. And alcohol, and powder. And you sit for an hour and a half. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:40 And the bulwark, my guy, I... I have the nose that's holding my guy. I was pulling out his bags anyway. It was in my hand, directly. boulevard mon gars je... J'ai le nez qui a fait attraper mon gars. Je tirais ses sacs de même, c'était dans la main direct. Moi j'étais, je voulais mourir. Je voulais mourir, je voulais faire un overdose. Mais j'ai dit, je vais mourir dans tout quoi que j'aime. Cet soir là c'était ça, ma main me pognait, c'est fini, je pique ma blonde. Je vais mourir dans tout quoi que j'aime. Je grabbed me and I was dead. I was going to die in the kitchen.

Starting point is 01:21:06 I was going to blow my face. So, I had nothing left. I went through, and I went back to the little J'suis au téléphone, il me montre chum qui est policier à Montréal. J'pourris d'dire, ils doivent me chercher quelque part pis tout pis... Nan, nan, mon somme pis tout pis j'pourris d'dis ça, lui. J'pourris d'dis ça, lui. C'est un de mes chums d'enfance, fait qu'il prend soin de moi au téléphone, mais il est flic, ça. Fait qu'à un moment donné, j'me parsouis, mon homme. I was a cop. So at some point, I realized, on the boulevard, I opened the curtains. There was a team dressed in black,

Starting point is 01:21:55 and they were pointing at the house. The flashlights were everywhere. The boulevard was barred. I said, Christ, this must not be for me. Why did I do it? Why did I do it? It's not for me. Come on, fuck it.

Starting point is 01:22:15 It was for me. I sign in the curtain. I hear them. I go to the police. The policeman who was sticking, he was a sergeant I respected a lot. But why? Why? Because I called him and I called the police,

Starting point is 01:22:33 at 9-1-1. You won't find me. You won't find my rooms. Ok, you're not there. Delirium. Nobody's looking for you, but you won't find me. Maybe your mother is a little worried, but in your head, the city is looking for you. One hour before, it was less than 25 degrees outside.

Starting point is 01:22:55 One hour before, I was far from my house, where I was, in the city center. One hour before, I was naked, in bedan, with a hammer in the city center. One hour before, I was in bedin with a hammer in the city center. I remember zero. Zero. You remember that after? You remember that after? You remember that after? I was screaming.

Starting point is 01:23:26 I threatened someone. So they threw you out. I went back to my room. That's when it happened. That's when I brought you back to the police. I didn't know that was a hammer. You didn't tell me that. But I went outside.

Starting point is 01:23:44 The big sergeant I'm talking to, whom I respect a lot, who helped me a lot, he was coming to help me. Mom called. She said, come help us, Sam. He was at home. I completely destroyed the house at that moment. A punch, a headshot.

Starting point is 01:24:00 A piece of furniture. A punch in the furniture. The two doors are open. Traces of blood everywhere. You weren't violent with the world, but you became aggressive, you threw stones. You started with a 17-year-old machine and... I did that in brick walls and I liked that. It made me... it made me go crazy. I was doing that in brick walls and I liked it.

Starting point is 01:24:28 It made me... it was a blast. So I was doing that in chiprock. When I went through it, I was happy. And hot. I didn't know anything about it. And I didn't do anything but that once. It's crazy for the guy who wants to cry, you know, to do that when you're... But when I was disconnected, me.

Starting point is 01:24:45 So, you know, I go outside, the police car, I go outside, I have the sergeant that I respect, he speaks to me and points me to the teaser. And that's all filmed. There's a guy on his balcony next door who films all this. You see me go outside, I fall to the ground. I have a bunch of bulls on me, but I was in bed in the back. So, two minutes ago, they pointed me to the teaser.

Starting point is 01:25:08 And I was about to get out of there, and I was out of there, and I was the same. They talked to me, and Sam said, I don't recognize you. He said, sit down. He said, what's going on, Calvert? He says, I don't trust you, Sam, sit down. He says, you had a hammer in your hand a while ago.

Starting point is 01:25:34 We hear it on video. That shocks me, Chris. It's not a good meme, but you know what? It shocks you in the sense that it comes to you or it beats you? It comes to me that it got me there. I don't remember the hammer, so what could I have done? I don't remember having a hammer in Abedaine, at least 25 in the city center. I don't understand why I didn't stop before.

Starting point is 01:26:04 So that's it. The policeman talked to me and I was there for two minutes. Now I'm scared. So I closed my... my mouth guard on me, which wasn't on purpose. And there was a policeman who had turned around, who had been cut off the link between me and the door.

Starting point is 01:26:27 And when I reformed my coat... You moved it? Something like that. Pow! A shot of diesel. A shot of diesel. It fell. There was a sidewalk. There was the sidewalk of the street.

Starting point is 01:26:44 My husband had a step, a step of concrete, of a foot. I fell about six inches from the head. I shook and I fell on the side. The two knees together and I fell. So he comes under me. I'm being broken by two guys. The last one who jumped on me, two knees together in one rib.

Starting point is 01:27:07 I rubbed my hands on the side of the sidewalk. I got hit. And the guy who teased me, he got his gun back and he teased me again. And I have two shots. You hear, two shots on my video. And you hit me in the face, in the face. I woke up, I think,

Starting point is 01:27:34 one and a half day later in the mental hospital, it was the last time I drank, on the 22nd of March, 2024. Do you think they did that because they knew you? It's funny to say, but they wanted to shock you. It's funny that they did it with a job that they wanted to shake you to shake you because they knew you or just because at that time, for them, you were really in danger? Did they know you or did you pose a threat to them?

Starting point is 01:28:05 No, because a team came down from Rimouski in reinforcements to the small police station in Presque, which was just four, two teams. So they didn't know you? Yes, in the Rimouski team, one of the guys was hitting me in the face. One of the policemen. Because it was a fucking mess. No, because when I was there and he was there, I drew his attention and I was having fun with the crowd. He didn't like that. At the end of the line, it's probably one of the best things that could have happened, I imagine, at that point.

Starting point is 01:28:44 Yeah. It was worth two colds and two shots of teaser. At the end of the line, it's probably one of the best things that could happen. It was worth two colds and two teaser shots. They got me in the eye. How do you wake up attached to psychiatry? I had already made an attempt, so I was already going to psychiatry. I'm in my jealous, mentally. I'm my mom, my mom again. Hey, where's that woman? Huh?

Starting point is 01:29:11 Where's that woman? I get home from the bar at 3 a.m. with one of my kids. We're going to sleep on my mom's lap. I decide to take off in a bath with scissors and open my eyes. Was that before or after the accident? No, it was before... Before... Let's say... I didn't even have my ex. Okay, okay, okay.

Starting point is 01:29:32 So the accident wasn't the first... The first attempt. And I have an obsession with thinking about dark ideas. Often in my life. I make you think in the simplest way. It's not funny, and it... I used to tell myself, sometimes I have to say it,

Starting point is 01:29:55 because it haunts me to think about going through it, but in the least painful way. I have to say, it's because it haunts me to think about going through it, but it's the most painful of all. And in February last year, how long were you in the hospital? Two months. I left on April 12, 2024, and on April 15, at noon, two and a half days later, I wouldn't be back here, I'd be locked up in a house with nothing to do, on your street. For you? Yes.

Starting point is 01:30:39 Your own decision, that was made in Christ. Because I was four months in therapy. I was unhappy for a long time because I was more than my ex. The first four months of my therapy, I was struggling every day. There were guys from experience who were in the house, who had four or five months of celebrate, who had a little broken heart, and they were in the house. ma thérapie, je broïa tous les jours. Puis il y a des gars d'expérience qui étaient dans la maison, qui avaient quatre, cinq mois de fête, qui avaient un peu rupture amoureuse ou tout, eux autres, puis qui, à le début, me disaient que j'étais comme toi. Ils me disaient aujourd'hui, ça va mieux.

Starting point is 01:31:17 Puis j'étais assez à côté des machines à liqueur, puis je me disais, je risquais que j'aimerais s'avancer dans le temps pour savoir si je vais être capable de l'oublier. I was thinking, I'd like to move forward and see if I can forget about it. I was suffering, I was bored. That girl was a pearl for me. And I deserve to have left because I should have listened to her a lot before that. I should have respected her a lot in advance. Sometimes it's too loose. Sometimes it's too fragile. Sometimes it's even full of mud because your best friend has been too rough and the bath has escaped his joint. There are a million ways to malform a joint,

Starting point is 01:32:12 but there is just one joint that is always perfect. The pre-roll. Discover our summer pre-roll order at ocs.ca and at megasim participants. the it it it off off off

Starting point is 01:32:31 off off off off off off off off

Starting point is 01:32:43 off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off --> 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 00 It must have made people around me suffer. And that makes me sick. There are injuries that we can't heal, but you know... I'm sure that these people are still with you. And you know...

Starting point is 01:33:00 You're going through it, I'm sure. I don't know the answer to that, but from what I understand, I'm sure your mother is still there. My mother... I talked about it on the podcast in Yannick. My mother... My mother is a great lady who had lost control of her emotions in my last moments of consumption. My mother told me that she had started to realize that it was a mistake, that her boy was dead. I could play with these emotions in my head after my therapy.

Starting point is 01:33:54 My mother deserved to have a negative day. She saved my life. She saved my life. She was always there. She helped me pay for my therapy. Mom, it's not just a hairdresser. No, it's not just a hairdresser. No, it's not just a hairdresser. It's your mother. I understand. I understand how you said it and what you meant, but...

Starting point is 01:34:27 She's more than 150,000 parents. If there were no one today who would give me my life for real, it wouldn't be me. Without asking me any questions. I'm curious to know today, we'll come back on therapy and the rest, but the relationship you have with your father today. If you're comfortable with me talking. Now that you said that... I'm not going to take long with what he could do for himself. Except that it still hurts me.

Starting point is 01:35:18 I can't wait for him to give himself a chance. The chance you've given yourself? Yes. Because I don't want to talk about my father. Because we have family values. Even though he's strong and strong. My father is my father. You know, and they're strong. Me, my bread is my bread.

Starting point is 01:35:47 And my bread, it would be the worst. My bread, it will remain my bread. You know, there's people who could want me to stay on my days. Stay on their day, you know. But that's a spirit of resentment. It's not good. I learned that. When you left therapy, when did you leave? I left on October 6, 2024.

Starting point is 01:36:24 It was my day. The best day of my life. 6 octobre, 6 octobre 2024. C'était ma journée, la belle journée de ma vie. Parce que là, moi je me suis fait dire tout le long de ma thérapie, t'étais un volontaire, puis les volontaires, c'est rangé à finir ça. T'étais pas là obligé par la loi ou quelque chose comme ça? Fait que t'sais, j'ai... So, when I got out of the 6th grade, my family was all there. It was my day. I had prepared it so that my finishing turn would be the turn that my mom and I would listen to together. I got on stage and during our comeback we decided to do a sentence on the board, on the philosophy, clap and screaming.

Starting point is 01:37:25 And that phrase was to discover the person I am. After four months of therapy, of a meditation period of Saint-Mena, I learned by myself. It solved a bunch of problems in my head. You still learn to connect, I imagine, today. You still discover who you are. Me, my behaviors when I got into therapy were need for pleasure, susceptibility, impulsivity.

Starting point is 01:38:08 My three biggest behaviors to work with. I was still an impulsive person, but with a head in the middle. Impulsivity is not necessarily bad, you know. No. It brings a lot of beautiful things. Yes. It's... I was impulsive in my decisions.

Starting point is 01:38:25 I was a fighter who was on the neutral for ten years. If you're on the neutral, it's just... It doesn't move forward, for example. But today, it's been 390 days since I went swimming. Bravo. I'm proud of you, Antoine Barne. What are you proud of? You can be proud of yourself. You deserve to be proud of yourself. I'm proud of myself because it's...

Starting point is 01:38:59 I have accomplished my life. Since I got back to the team, I've been doing this for a year and a month. I haven't had a negative day in my life, except for my Mexican trip. We'll come back to it. But I'll discover it. You slipped a word into it. I'm not sure if I'll going to come back. Oh.

Starting point is 01:39:26 But I'm going to discover it. You slipped a word into it. A trip to hell. You know, the days I stopped after a month and a half, I stopped taking my kids to hell. It's a regret. I stopped taking my kids at PIN. It's a recall. I stopped taking that because it was the first time I took that. When I went in to the psychiatry, they put me on it.

Starting point is 01:39:54 For anxiety. I was taking a PRN, and then I was going to take my PRN. But I took about 400 milligrams a day. So in therapy, I would get up in the morning, have lunch, dinner and go to bed. And I would ask myself the question for a week, after a month and a half of having started my therapy. I knew what I was doing, but I wanted to work hard in my head in therapy, so I knew what start my therapy. I knew I was going to get a lot of work, but I wanted to work hard in therapy. I knew I was going to get a lot of work, but I stayed. I got up and walked.

Starting point is 01:40:33 I stopped that. One morning, I got up and stopped taking them. I kept two of them for the night. I started to get angry. They were having a meeting up there. Before, when I was taking the class, I had to get up from my place, I had to get up there. It's going to be long.

Starting point is 01:40:55 When I stopped taking that, I stopped reading in the big house. So that's it. I discovered I wasn't doing it in the Waze. I couldn't do it. I was so caught up in what I couldn't control anymore. I told myself in life, the things I couldn't control anymore,

Starting point is 01:41:18 that are already done, apart from the assignments, I can't do anything else. So even if I would channel that I had a hot drink, I scraped my shirt, I farted a balloon, it would cost me more insurance. But yes, we will live with it. We will live with it.

Starting point is 01:41:35 We will fight in Tabarnak to live with it. Because there is no reason not to make choices. It can happen to me. It can happen to me because I'm far from perfect. And now I realize my flaws because I'm an agent, but I work on it. I'm about to become a better version of myself. Moi, je suis en train de devenir une version améliorée de moi. Moi, j'étais un clown malheureux avant. Je souriais. Au resto, c'était un spectacle que je donnais.

Starting point is 01:42:14 Les clients aimaient ça, se faire sauver par sable. Mais j'étais en dedans de moi. J'étais malheureux. Aujourd'hui, ce qui était extérieur et ce qui était intérieur? I was so unhappy. What was external today and what was internal? It's a balance between the head and the heart. That takes you to a balance. My therapy partner is a brain surgeon. She taught me so much that today I realize that it works,

Starting point is 01:42:44 that it works. That it's just breathing methods. Or having an emotional balance. It works. And I just... The moment that I realize I'll never drink again, is when I stop feeling anxious. I never said I'd feel the anguish I was living in.

Starting point is 01:43:06 Because I wanted to die. Do you decide to make a trip? Yes. In order to relax your... There's nothing that can stop me from doing it. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. So I said, let's go. Make it.

Starting point is 01:43:32 So... Did you join anyone? No. No? Okay. No. That's it. I arrive and I take the plane. I never took the plane.

Starting point is 01:43:45 The school of a Sunday storm, And that's it. I get there and I take the plane. I never took the plane. I take off on a Sunday of storm, the worst storm we've had this winter. I take off in it. February 17. And then, all the... I get to the board and I don't know how it works. But my check-in is done and all my things are done. But I see people scanning their things at the post of such and such a company of planes. They scan their things and I try to scan my passport and it doesn't work.

Starting point is 01:44:19 I'm a nervous guy. I get to the board and I see it's cancelled, cancelled, cancelled. My flight is less, my cancelled, cancelled, cancelled. My flight is canceled, my papers, my flight ticket. It's not cancelled, man. What does that mean? So I go to check-in.

Starting point is 01:44:39 I get there, my luggage, I know they're not made like people. At the airport, they tell me to put your little bottles in a little bag. I put, she gives me a bag, I'm in the line, I open my bag and I'm on the ground. People are there, and to move forward, I get up. I said, you'll have it, you'll going to have it here, we're coming. I have to get my luggage. So I went through the metal detector, it rang three times.

Starting point is 01:45:12 I took off my bag. I was wearing a bag. So there... Ah, he says that, I say that should be right, that one. So there I go back. should be fine. I turned around, beep beep. It took three times. After three times, I went to the other side. I wanted everything to be done so well that I took my bag,

Starting point is 01:45:35 and I brought my bag to the table, my bag to the table in the back, I picked up my things, and I said, excuse me sir, where do we put the bags? He said, leave that, we'll take care of it. I said, I'll put it in. So I go and I arrive. I don't film, I really don't film, and I go to my door. I inform every lady I see who works at the airport, where is the door.

Starting point is 01:46:02 But I see the other one 100 meters away, My door, in which direction is it going? There's nothing but a direction. A strategist who's never taken the plane. I can't believe it. You're alone at the airport. We get on the plane, my flight is supposed to be at 7 o'clock. We get on the plane, I settle down there. And then I see that.

Starting point is 01:46:23 Nice. People are starting to arrive and I see that. It's snowing. People are starting to arrive. I was in the front, but I was sitting in the front row. And I see outside. I don't see outside. But then I hear the plane take off. And they took off about five times.

Starting point is 01:46:45 It was 8 hours and a quarter, and the pilot was wondering if he was taking off or not. It's not a joke. You took off in the end? We took off in the end. You went to Mexico? I went to Mexico. I arrived in Mexico. So I went. I was 16 days in a kind of condo. After that, I left there after 16 days in a condo.

Starting point is 01:47:05 After that, I left from there after 16 days. I went to another neighborhood, in Playa del Carmen, but in a further neighborhood. I booked 5 days of Airbnb, but a hotel. So I arrived there on Sunday. And on Sunday, there was a big casino not far away, and I said to myself, I'm going to give myself a chance, you know, a chance. I thought I was in control, but I was at the casino, I had a thousand puzzles, the first time. On Sunday evening, on the summer, I went out, j'avais 15-20 000 peusots.

Starting point is 01:47:46 Sorti des arbres. C'est dangereux pour un gars comme toi, ça. Oui. Parce que ça va venir... Je sors d'hors, puis à 2 heures du matin, puis y'a comme 15 taxis. Fait que pas que dans le taxi, puis je m'en vais à mon Airbnb, puis ils me lâchent là.

Starting point is 01:48:01 Je monte, je me couche. Fait que le lendemain, je fais mes petites affaires dans la journée, I go to my Airbnb and he lets me go. I go up and I go to bed. So the next day, I do my little things in the day, go to the beach, I eat, I call a taxi, casino, Wynn Pot please. Yeah, that's it, right? So I get to the casino, I had left, I didn't want to bring anything, I'm an agent, I have control. I'm an agent, I have the control. I'm an agent, I have the control.

Starting point is 01:48:26 Why did I drink before and smoke before playing? Because I didn't want to have control. Because I wanted to be a goon. So I left everything I had to be a goon at the hotel. I left and I have a bag of bananas. I'm all in my bag of bananas. My passport, my card, my money. I'm at the hotel, I leave and I have a banana bag. But I'm all in my banana bag. Passport, card, money, rubber, lipsticks, you know.

Starting point is 01:48:51 So my banana bag is full, you know. It's heavy too. I get there and I take a bunch of money for a thousand pesos. I'm going to set up at the Blackjack table. Join the Blackjack. Later. I didn't want to play on the machine. I set up at the Blackjack's table, join the Blackjack. The tables. I didn't want to play on the machines. I set up at the Blackjack's table, I play about 45 minutes to an hour.

Starting point is 01:49:11 And you know, I'm the same. I have a bracelet, I have a chain. My chain. I have a chain, I have bracelets, I have bags. I don't speak a Spanish word. And I set up at the table. And there's just another person on six seats playing with me and Blackjack. After an hour, two Mexicans arrived in the room. The tables were like the door to the rest of the casino. They arrived in the room and they walked around.

Starting point is 01:49:42 I didn't do anything, I saw them arrive, but they walk around the land. So it was mostly tourists who were there? Mexicans and tourists who spoke Spanish and English. Not less. You don't speak English? Correct. One more! One more! You know, TikTok in my lives is hilarious.

Starting point is 01:50:07 I learn to understand, I learn to understand. Slowly please, more slowly. More slowly. Ok, so you know, it's funny how I speak in English. But the others, not everyone, not all the groupers who understood English. But the two Mexicans stopped behind my table. And there's one sitting right next to me, and the other one is going to sit. On my left, he leaves a seat, and he sits in the other seat, further away.

Starting point is 01:50:43 He was like not aware by the crook. So I played and I tripled my business and I went to 23 or 24,000 pesos at that time. They play small business of nothing and they check me to play. But they don't check the other. I start to... I know what's going on. I already know what's going on with those two Mexicans.

Starting point is 01:51:14 And as a result, after about 15 minutes, the Mexican next to me gives me a cell phone, a translation in Spanish and English. From there, you can speak your language. Otherwise, we'll slice your head and send it as a gift to your family. My rush hour process is anxiety and anxiety.

Starting point is 01:51:45 It's a real pain in the ass. Moi mon processus de rush-hit, c'est l'angoisse puis l'anxiété. Là, ça me... pouf! Ça me pogne. Fait que là, moi, je fais le pas bien, là, puis je continue. Je joue pas deux mains. J'ai une pile de jetons en avant de moi, puis je chiengue dans ma tête. Puis je fais ça au coup pied. Deux mains de temps. Là, le mexican à côté de moi, il me fait comme... Two hands at a time. The Mexican next to me, he did this to me, he hit me on the shoulder,

Starting point is 01:52:09 so that I could play. I ran away from him, I grabbed my sticks. I turned on the light and said, OK, yes. And I played again. I did two other hands. I smoked a cigarette on the floor. There was a Mexican next to me. I tried to speak, the Mexican spoke with his foot.

Starting point is 01:52:31 And the Mexican next to me, he lifted me up. This finger. He pulled me out of the table. He almost hit me on the palm of his hand. So I did it. Ouch! The other thing. He did the same thing to me. I said, I'm going to write my own record.

Starting point is 01:52:50 And the cutters were doing... to call the master cutter to come and he's the one who takes care of our card. So I did... Master cutter arrived, he gave me my card with the number of cards I had. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car.

Starting point is 01:53:07 I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car.

Starting point is 01:53:15 I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car.

Starting point is 01:53:23 I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going to the car. I'm going out, Chris Mokana is in a taxi, I'm in a taxi, and we're leaving. I'm about 15 minutes from my Airbnb. You didn't follow anything? I'm in the taxi, I have that in my head. But the taxi tells me, you're 15 minutes, he says you're 10 minutes that we're being followed. There's 15 minutes that a car is following us, you're with other people.

Starting point is 01:53:42 I'm in the car, and you're with someone else. I'm in my head, I'm stuck in the casino, what just happened. So I said, fuck off, no, I'm going. I drive back to my Airbnb, I get there, Ça va. Je m'en reconduis à mon Airbnb. Je débarque là. Moi, je donne 150 pesos. Je le paye. Char. Moi, je me vire de bord, puis j'avais

Starting point is 01:54:16 deux marches à monter. Je fais 12-0-6. Puis ma porte, une grosse porte de ma pêzante, elle ouvrait. Mais j'ai pas le temps de faire mon code, And a big door, heavy, opened it. But I didn't have time to make my code, and I had to take it. When I got up, I pulled myself. It was the others who came, those two Mexicans.

Starting point is 01:54:38 At least in the race. At that moment, I had Blackout. I had Blackout because I'ai Blackout parce que j'ai menace dans la tête. Puis en 30 secondes, moi, ça dérile. Mon sac banane, mon passeport, mon argent. Mamma, j'en reverrai plus, mamma. J'en reverrai plus, mamma. Mon petit frère.

Starting point is 01:55:01 Quand il arrive le premier, l'autre était plus costaud en arrière. Fait qu'il était plus loin en arrière du premier. When the first one arrived, the other one was stronger in the back, so he was further back than the first one. When the first one arrived, I would always drink my banana bag, you know, with a glove on my shoulder. But then I had left the taxi, I had paid the taxi, so I had it on my shoulder. I let myself go down in the banana bag along the hand, and I got closer to the cord of the hand. When the first one arrived, I hit him with a banana bag. But it was a blast! He had a stock in the banana bag. So I didn't have time to...

Starting point is 01:55:35 The other one was next to the wall of my Airbnb. The first one, and I didn't have time to bounce back. The other one arrived and hit me with the head. I was in a hurry. I opened. I fell on my knees. I had to throw it, and the other one would come and swing me, and I'd be like, shut the fuck up. I opened, I fell down on my knees, I kicked myself in the leg, I got up, I let go of a punch,

Starting point is 01:55:53 and he fell on his chest. It's not a joke. My story is true from Mexico, but I started my account at 6,000 dollars. So I hurry up, I write down my code, and I go to my room. I don't have the police. You said you paid your bill of $6,000. After that.

Starting point is 01:56:19 Okay, okay, okay. I go to my room, I leave my banana bag there, and I take my Puzzles with me in my pockets, because I don't have the police. I don't want to get involved in it. You want to pay the police if something happens to you? Because you can write a police report, you don't take any chances. And the others, they organized with the... I don't know, I'm worried about the police.

Starting point is 01:56:41 So I draw up my Puzzles, I open the door of the Airbnb and they're sleep in my room the rest of the night. I was like, I don't know. It made me sad. I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:57:04 I was like, I don't sleep in my room the rest of the night. I'm tired. It's really hard. The thing is, it's in the casino that you should have played it straight. I understand everything that's going on. Chris, there's a guy who's going to tell me something. From now on, stop talking or we'll send you to hell. Straight in the casino, there's security. I would have jumped straight.

Starting point is 01:57:26 But I understand that we're not living in... But we're in Mexico. Are you saying Mexicans are behind you as a group? I'd rather fight with people than have a lot of people to defend you. But I understand, you live that. I'm going to be late. And it's easy to say... Yes, yes.

Starting point is 01:57:43 It's easy to say outside. After thinking about it, I should have gone to see someone at the casino. But I said, I'm going to get in the taxi and go back to my camp. There were 15 in the day. I wouldn't have more than three. So that's it. I go back to my room and the next day, I don't sleep, so I sleep a little during the day. I take some sleep pills. I don't sleep, so I take some in the morning and sleep a little. I get up at 3 in the afternoon.

Starting point is 01:58:21 I get ready and I eat tacos on the corner of a street. A little tent of a street. A little taco stand outside. I'd eat four or five tacos. I was done that night. So I'd punch, eat my five tacos, cross to the opposite store and I was on an electric scooter. I'd buy a Spac and I'd drink non-alcoholic. Okay, now, Alcari was mistrusting me.

Starting point is 01:58:46 No, no, no. I was drinking non-alcoholic, Necane 00. I only drank that in Mexico. So I put it on the floor, bend my legs, and I was lying on the scooter. I got to the front of my Airbnb. I folded the steering wheel of my scooter, which I could do like a handle,

Starting point is 01:59:02 and I took out my backpack. I got on the car. I was shaking my scooter, I could do it like a handful. Then I took out my backpack. I managed to get on the boat, I was in the air. I put my backpack down. There are six Mexicans coming out from behind, from a black van in front of my Airbnb. So I dropped everything, my scooter, everything. I backed away, quickly to the race, fast, and I looked back, because someone told me in English, You fight my friend last night?

Starting point is 01:59:31 And they started yelling at me, cut your head, cut your head. So I went back and they started coming at me. But I'm from a neighborhood with a lot of people, so I said to myself, Whoa, whoa, amigo, I have a good chip for you. No prob, no prob. Good money for you. I screamed and screamed, and you know, exactly what I said. But I told them I was going to give them money. So they stopped running after me.

Starting point is 01:59:59 I got a little closer to them. Then they told me to get on board with them. We're going to negotiate something. I said, no. In your gang, you have a person, one with me. So there's a guy, I'm walking next to my scooter, there's a guy who follows me. We're going to the Quinta, it's the fifth, on the main of Playa del Carmen. We go to a legal restaurant, we go to the restaurant, we go to the restaurant, we go to the restaurant, we go to the restaurant, we it's the fifth, it's the main of the Playa del Carmen. We go to a legal restaurant, we go through the restaurant completely, we go through three backstores of restaurants,

Starting point is 02:00:35 and we arrive at the restaurant, they like farmers, cartel. But at that moment, they don't threaten me anymore. But I'm full of with anxiety and anxiety. I sat down in a place, and there was people eating, they were about 15, in that restaurant. And then I saw the two guys from the day before. They brought me a Coke, a bottle of empty, but already empty, but full.

Starting point is 02:01:04 I said, I'm not going to get lucky, I'm not going to drink that, and they didn't force me to drink it. But they brought me a burger, and they said, Heat, Heat! I never ate when I was a kid. Zero, not capable. If I take a bite, I'm going to be sick. But then I eat, I crack the burger, and I don't think it's that bad.

Starting point is 02:01:24 And they don't think it's that bad anyway. And he doesn't threaten me anymore. So I'm eating the burger all the way. I'm waiting for the others. I said to them, I have a flight to go back to Canada Friday. I have four days to give you money. Et quand j'ai descendu mon autre cellulaire, j'ai pris ma douche 7-8 minutes. J'avais le 6 numéros sur WhatsApp. J'avais 14 appels manqués quand j'ai sorti de la douche.

Starting point is 02:02:20 Ça ressonna une autre fois. J'ai répond I said, Where you are? I forget the cell phone at the pool. I'm in the shower now. You sure? Okay. You guys, you go to make sure you are in your Airbnb. Two guys arrive. I give them my code. They come into my room.

Starting point is 02:02:44 After an hour and a half, I sit on my code. He comes in, he comes to my room, he spends an hour and a half with me. I sit on my bed and he checks me. Why didn't you just crack your can yesterday in another Airbnb? You paid those guys to call the police. They're going to find me. Hey, in my head, I'm done. I have a second cell phone,

Starting point is 02:03:00 I still have the gory, they're going to arrive in 10 minutes and they're going to start looking for me. I won't hide in Mexico for four days. I have zero survival instinct. You had everything to go back to the solid construction. One night in my room, I I told myself, I'd rather die than be consumed. I thought about getting over it.

Starting point is 02:03:31 I said, I'm going to get over it. They're going to take all my money. And they're going to do what they say afterwards. But I had to reason, to reason. I said, it can be done. I applied my means, my friend. To do it. Do you think it's a... You know, it's a...

Starting point is 02:03:54 I don't believe... I'm not a believer in life. You know... Like, I don't... I don't have religious beliefs or something like that. I believe in karma a lot, for example. Me too. I don't have religious beliefs or anything like that. I believe in karma a lot, for example. Me too.

Starting point is 02:04:08 You know, we feel like it's part of the casino. Which is a problem for you. You know, to have stepped foot in the casino, you didn't fall into the game, but you wouldn't have lived it. You know, you understand, for me it's a sign of life to do. Check. You tested yourself. Check the result. That's what happened. It shouldn't have tempted you to test yourself. Well, it's not tempting me to go back to Mexico ever again in my life. No, no, I understand that, but I'm talking about a casino, you know. A machine, it's...

Starting point is 02:04:41 Was it the last... Yeah. The last slap in the face that you missed the chance to say, no, forget about the control, you don't have it until the end of your days. Forget about it. Forget about it, you don't have control over alcohol, you don't have control over adoption, you don't have control over gambling. Even if they hadn't fallen on you, it could have been...

Starting point is 02:05:00 The money you would have given them, or you would have said that there are good chances that he would be in the casino anyway. Because you were in a winning pattern. So you were... Well, that's for sure. My second night, I was paying as much as I promised. You would be full. You know, it's a bit disgusting what happened to you.

Starting point is 02:05:18 It's maybe a good thing that you were... I don't know. I don't know how it happened, but you understand. You have to draw the positive out of it. The positive, I drew it when the two wheels took off from Cancun. So it wasn't a good trip. I brought him some green love. I was out of it. I was in the army the last four days in my room.

Starting point is 02:05:44 I was in my room the last four days. I was anxious. It didn't work. It had been a year since I had done it. There was a rock of anxiety coming at me. Since you came back from that trip? I have a lot of trouble. I often dream that I'm falling back. You're lying that you're falling back? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:06:17 I go back to Carilion. You're a nuisance. I go back to... yeah, I'm lying. No, no, no, but you know... My situation... The first three months I was in therapy, my subconscious was working at night. I had a big dream.

Starting point is 02:06:35 It was weird. But my subconscious was working. The first three months I was in therapy, until my first authorized exit, when you can go out once or twice a week, a blow to your first week of therapy. Jusqu'à ma première sortie autorisée, qu'on peut sortir une fois ou deux semaines, un coup rendu à ta première semaine de synthèse. Je rêvais, je pesais des cauchemars à chaque nuit que je... je descendais dans mon coin chez nous, je me pognais de mes grands-parents,

Starting point is 02:07:01 je me pognais de ma mère à cause que j'avais rechûté. I was caught with my grandparents, I was caught with my mother because I had a fall. And when I had made time to go back to therapy so as not to be late at 6.30 pm Saturday night, I realized that I was at 4.30 pm on the road and that he was already at 6.15 pm. Bang! I woke up in therapy, in my bed. I was happy to be there, to be in therapy. When I left my first week, it stopped doing that to me. I never dreamed again. But lately, with all this shock, I dreamed that I had had

Starting point is 02:07:37 an accident that I had fallen. And the night passed. I remember, I write a lot of my own stories. J'ai fait des cauchemars que j'archetais. Pis la nuit de passer, je me souviens, j'écris beaucoup mes rêves, mes cauchemars. Pis je me... Hier, j'ai rêvé que je me replantais solide dans le crâne. Pis dans l'alcool chaud-mâche,

Starting point is 02:08:04 je criss à la marde partout, partout, I was working all the time in Laurent. And I got up in Carignan. And then after two days, two or three days, since I hadn't paid, I said to myself, I'll never be back here for six months. It's too cold, you know. I'll never be back here for six months. I'm not ready. I woke up at that moment.

Starting point is 02:08:26 Because I've known the crack for three months. Okay, yeah, that's what we didn't talk about. You just said that. The last three months of my accident there, it... Sam, it's been a little over two hours already that we're playing. And before we leave, I want to... I said it at the beginning, without inspiration. I would like to make an honorable amendment to Keegan. Go ahead. In Yannick's podcast, I wanted to go there, but I didn't go because I didn't want to talk to my ex.

Starting point is 02:08:52 Okay. I made an honorable amendment to my mother. I was emotional. She deserves that. But today, I'm going to make a real honorable amendment to my ex. I'm going to make a real honorable amendment to my ex. I owe my mother an honourable. I was emotional. She deserves that. But today, I'm going to make a real honourable amnesty to my ex.

Starting point is 02:09:10 A mic to you, man. A real honourable amnesty to my ex. For everything I could do. Even if it's to my grandmother, I'm more profound than her. I never doubted that he loved me. Well, we felt it earlier. You were very emotional when you talked about her too. About what you had suffered and how you felt. I will surely meet our woman one day, but I still consider that this woman is the rest of my life with that woman.

Starting point is 02:09:47 Did she forgive you? In the process. It's good for me. Did you forgive yourself? Yes. Oh yes. That's important. To be honest, today, I had to leave.

Starting point is 02:10:16 So, to my ex, I'm going to say that I apologize for everything I did to you. To be so in the dark that you don't understand anything, but to have made you lose yourself. I'm sorry for everything and I hope your life will go well and you'll be happy. When you love someone, sometimes you have to accept that they can be happier without you. Yes, yes. Clearly. You don't know what the future holds? This country can be happy and I don't go there to live with it.

Starting point is 02:10:58 I agree 100% and I'll go there next week. Because it deserves to be happy. You too, man. You too Because she deserves to be happy. You too, man. Yes. You too, you deserve to be happy. Without inspiration. Yes. Because if we type on Instagram without inspiration, we'll find you.

Starting point is 02:11:16 Yes. Like that. On TikTok. On TikTok. On Facebook, that's my name, Samuel Deschagne Dupont. Anyway, all your links will are in the YouTube description. You're a click away from communicating with me. And I embarked on a life coaching.

Starting point is 02:11:37 Life coaching for the people who are unhappy, who consume, and who have no more light at the end of the road. I didn't have any light either. But by asking for help, I found my light quietly not empty. Today, I'm putting it out in Esti. And you want to offer your help? Yes. You want to inspire the world beyond the name,

Starting point is 02:12:03 without inspiration? Yes. And I will do everything to give back to someone who is in misery. My great friend is David Pinault, the singer. He's a singer in the Bobby Senet style. Okay. I don't know. We went to the Grand Théâtre, actually, Saint-Pas-Saint.

Starting point is 02:12:30 I went to see Monta Sonchaud. There was a lady coming out of there. I was so unhappy, I snatched it from my pocket. She said, Excuse me, can I ask you for a little service? I'm hungry. If I could Excuse me, could you ask a little waiter for some money for something?

Starting point is 02:12:45 I'm hungry. If I could give you some money, no matter what you do with it, if I could make you happy, happy at that moment... You're not the one who's going to save that consumer. Anyway. I'm in the same mindset as you. So I had nothing on me, but I remembered that I had wine in my truck. And she left, ma'am. I said, I'm really sorry.

Starting point is 02:13:13 Hey! I cried afterwards. I said, ma'am, ma'am. So I went into my truck. I didn't even take a glass of wine. I found it in there. It didn't make me happy. Fait que là, je rentrais dans mon trottin, tu sais, j'ai... J'ai une prene vingt. Je trouvais ça en ça. Ça me faisait pas grand, ça me faisait rien. J'ai donné à madame, j'ai dit,

Starting point is 02:13:33 c'est de l'argent, 20 piastres, pareil. C'est pas ça que je veux dire. Mais ça me faisait rien pour y mettre un sourire dans la face. Puis quand elle me colle, elle me donne un bec à kiss on the cheek. She says thank you. Because you didn't judge her because you don't know her path. And that's what this podcast is about, man. You don't know the path of the people around you. So before judging, make them judge.

Starting point is 02:14:08 I wouldn't judge you by your past, but by how I'm going to know you. It's for sure that if it happens once, I give it a chance. You don't do it twice. You work, life goes well, structure... I advise you to sell at Ford. A job I always wanted to do, but never had enough confidence to give up two jobs to go to a conference. But after a year, three months of work,

Starting point is 02:14:47 it's a go. It'm going to ask a question. Are you happy? I love it. I love it. My team is incredible, dynamic, there's never been a single one like Marabou. We have an incredible experience. We make unique fields, and we give a unique service. But you? I'm happy.

Starting point is 02:15:10 I'm happy because I'm saving my life. And I make the world around me happy. I need to be happy. But the opinion of others towards me, it doesn't matter anymore. Bravo. Bravo. Sam, thank you for taking the road. Thank you for being generous. Generous in your story, generous in your journey, generous in your emotions. I felt you open up, I felt a great freedom.

Starting point is 02:15:50 And I feel that it made you feel good. Really, I'm really happy. Honestly, you're wearing your name right. You're inspiring, and I think this episode will inspire several people too. Which is the goal. If it could help a person, it could make a person think. If it could say, hey, maybe I'm going to go there. Never know, man.

Starting point is 02:16:20 There's hope all the time in life. Thank you. I've been following your podcast for a long time. There's hope all the time in life. Thanks to you. I've been following your podcast for a long time. I've always wanted to do that. But today I'm doing it for the right reasons. I've grown up. And helping others is my first goal.

Starting point is 02:16:39 That's it. I'm not leaving Sam. I hope that if we end up meeting again in the next few months, in the next few years, it will be this guy that I will have in front of me next time. I hope you enjoyed this podcast, as I found it interesting. See you later. About wall This episode is presented by the summer wind from the OCS. Sometimes, when you roll your own joint, things don't really go as you thought. Sometimes it's too loose.

Starting point is 02:17:50 Sometimes it's too fragile. Sometimes there's even a lot of mud because your best friend teased you too much and then you went and took your joint off. There are a million ways to mal-drive a joint. But there's just one joint that's always perfect. The pre-race. Discover our summer pre-race summer pre-race at OCS.ca and participant stores.

Your Ad Here

Au Parloir - Épisode #97 - Sam Inspiration

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.