Aunty Donna Podcast - 30 Minutes of Straight Fire

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

It's finally here, clauses, genre changes and all! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you like this show, then come and support us on the Auntie Donna Club powered by Patreon. Follow the links. Cheers, mate. This is a Grouse House podcast. Oh, yeah. 3-0 minutes of fire. Call the CFA if you're in the country because we're about to burn this shit down. Brodon Kelly, enter it number one.

In this game, there can only be one. Broda Kelly 30 minutes of straight fire Sorry for you The people who are listening Check this shit Here we go I'm gonna get a mover now

I'm gonna get a bluer now I'm gonna get a spewer now I'm gonna get a chewing now I'm chewing on a biscuit Making me a six skit I'm gonna just Help me They call me Broda Kelly

I'm a little bit smelly I'm gonna do a little rap for you And I'm being on the telly Got a little riddle of belly Full of Macas for my dinner get a little bit thinner Robert Ruther I'm gonna sit at a stand

Watch the shows on Stan I'm gonna be the man You gotta see me on Netflix You gotta be a ceiling looking at my dicks You gotta see me on the telly I'll get a little bit of felly Oh oh Broder Kelly coming at you

With the rapids you know we gotta smash you You gotta get it in your house You gotta make your little You gotta chase another mouse Get a rat, get a rat on the trap Put it on that You're gonna tell him on this map You gotta get it

Here we're gonna go How long has that been top. That's only a minute. No, Broder Kelly fucking. I'm gonna get it up in a mucking. I don't have another muck around. I'm gonna make it profound. Because I'm Broden Kelly on 30 minutes straight fire because that's what's all about. I'm gonna tell you.

I gotta tell you about it. What's it gonna be is little Broden Kelly? Yeah. 30 minutes straight fire. That's what's gonna transpire because I had enough of you when you're gonna do. And you're gonna be. It's gonna make them to the blues. Go the demons.

They're my team. Are the seam that I hate them. And I know, I know it's gonna be right we go. Yo, I'm gonna get his freestyle. Take it off the dome. That's what's transpire. Oh, Brody Kelly Straightfire. 20 minutes, that's what it's about.

I'm gonna get... I don't want to pout. The second engine in 30 minutes of straight fire is Mark Poo. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What's that? Over there. Oh, no.

It's a brown bear. What you're doing here, Mr. Brown Bear? What's you doing looking at me over there? Are you here to scare my family? Or do you want to have a cup of tea? Because if you do, motherfucker? Then I got news for you, Brown Bear. Oh, you think you're a big dog-like creature from the woods?

Well, let me tell you about something that I know, that I show. everyone that I know I show my collection of books they'll teach you how to cook yeah Jamie Oliver's Italy yeah it's really goody you can learn how to make pasta you can show your ma that you're faster than her and making dinner

for three or just me and split it up over different nights so that you don't have a fright. Hey, bear, what you're doing over there? Get inside, let me show you what I got. Let me show you what I got in this part. It's a raccoon that I'm made for you. Yeah, yeah.

Don't you know that my name's my banana? And I got lots of things to show you. Look at this. The third entrance. Minutes of straight. Seven, eight. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. I don't know what I'm doing today. All I know is that I'm going to have a good day. I want to say, hey, hey, how do you do? I want to listen to Triple J in 1992. I want to hear all the rap and all the different things that they weren't playing because they didn't know them how good rap could be because Auntie D wasn't on the scene.

Yeah, that's their way it's going to be. I'm Zach, that's my name. I like to say... Oh, here we go. Yeah. How you doing, Broden? Good. And how are you, Mark?

I can't wait to hear what you have to say. Yeah. And what's going on, Broden? Good. Yeah, Mark. I just want to say hello to my two friends. How do you do? Mark, how are you?

I'm pretty good today, but I'm interested in one. you had to say. My thing I gotta say is just one thing. It's a question, you see, which is how are you breathe? Brod it. Oh, I thought you said re. I thought you said bean. How have you been?

Like B-E-A-N, like a green bean, like a long bean or like a broad bean. Did you mean bean like that or how have you been as in B-E-E-N as in past as you seen? What did you mean? I didn't mean green bean, that's not true, but I did mean that. broad bean and kidney bean too Oh well In that case I've been pretty good Fuck your face

Right and Kelly how are you to do Oh it's competitor number four The final entry into 30 minutes A straight fire It's morgue Morgie poo is little Morgies too We poo out mougies tiny little Morgie Wogies Tiny little Mugue Wogies are our

Carrots and then we poo out mougies That's how we poo out productive system but technically a moogie poo is a clone so we have a lot of issues with DNA and so I got a skin thing on my feet oh yeah it's not real neat I got a weird thing going on with my feet and the skin on my feet and it's not real neat I'm pretty upset about it I've got to go to my doctor see what they say but every time I go they say I don't know and it's weird and no one tells me what's going no Could your doctor get you a referral for a specialist?

They could but they haven't yet I've been a couple times and they haven't done it yet They just take a swab and never send me the results What's up with that too you think Makes me worry but makes me want to think Usually it's a good sign Usually it means there's nothing to frighten Yeah let's talk about

Mark's feet. Yeah. Remix. Oh, Mark. What's the problem with your feet? Mark, tell us all the issues and about your feet, why you've got issues with your feet. I think it's activated by sweat.

Yeah. Sweat or maybe stress. But weird little blisters turn up on my feet and they fill with fluid and they pop on my feet. Then they get infected if I'm not careful. So I got to get a hot needle and drain that shit. Drain that shit. On my feet It's real fuck up

Can I show you what's going on? My name's Broda Kelly And I love the footy And having drinks and Putty Usually it's just on the ankle, mate But now it's on the bottom On my feet

What's about that way? To see the specialist Go see one If you're a specialist Write to Mark 1 Say hey oh Mark Mark I'll listen to the pod And I'm a foot

Specialist guy So come and see me. Let's look at your feet. Get you the creams. That'll be real neat. Do I see a dermatologist or a paediatrist? I don't know when it's a gun burning gallic dermatologist or a patiatrist because it's a skin thing, but it's on my feet thing. Where exactly on your feet is it, mate? Usually it's on the ankle, but right now, mate, it's on the bottom on my foot and sometimes it gets a bit on my mind.

John Richiechang! One minute. John Richie! Go, Mark. It gets a little bit on my hand stir. I'm not sure what it is, and how do you do? I'm walking down the street with my best girl.

Well, say. Am I going to have a twirl? At the old buck social tonight. When you don't wear shoes on stage for over 15 years. Watch a sign. It will irreparably fuck up your feet. Yeah!

Gotta wear them shoes and socks to chew. Wear the stage, yes you do. Wear those shoes if you want to not have food issues. Sweat and stress are very bad things. They can have a negative effect. When you're stressing and sweating, you'll see your feet get quite blistery. I don't like it very very. much the way my

freet get so fucked up but I'll tell you what it's a good thing to do dance with your friends and say I do! Well, how do you do? How do you do? Y'all, 1930 How do you do?

Skidly do. Squab, that's what you do. Great Depression. That's a session. Hitler's on it. Well, Skidly do to you that Hitler's on the move. Off the polling, he does go, and also we're in a box car, though.

Ho, ho, how do you do? Hot off the press. Hot off the press. Today, off the press. Let's go to an ad break. Go to an ad break. We're back. Now we're back from the ad break, and I want to say to my two best friends, how you doing today?

I'm doing all right. Thanks for asking Mark and Broden. I'd love to know. How are you? Well, I'm top of the hill, and I'm still in 1932. That's what I do. Skidly do. Skidly-bibbibbby-babby-babby-boop-dibbby-boop.

Scabbity-chapidi-bapidi-boop. I went down to the best end to watch a theatre play, and all I had to see was lots of little plays. They made little jokes. Time out. Lots of innuendo. Just need a breather for 45 seconds. Are we allowed to keep going while you do?

This is his time he can write in this time. Okay. This is his 45 seconds time out. I might have a just juice. Do we need to keep the ball in the air? No. If you don't know what we're doing here, go back and listen to the rules writing episode. There are clear rules.

This would make this good. Brodin, use your window. Get some writing done. Get some writing. All right. Mark, how are you, buddy? Yeah, I'm pretty good today. I'm, you know, just chilling out. I gotta

I gotta use the bathroom But I can wait till after this Okay You gotta use the bathroom after this Yeah that's what I was saying Why? Why do you ask I got a friend called my banana

He's gotta shit his pants Not any time soon But I might If this goes For this tune I got a friend called my banana He's gonna piss his pants Um

Probably not piss my pants But let's see how I go When I do a dance Yeah, my name's Broan and Kelly, uh, a little bit smelly, uh, be on the telly, uh, Helly, whoa, yeah, Mark and Zach, that's the attack that's coming for your back, uh, gonna shoot on your back, yeah, seaman, hey, hey, why don't you tell me what you got up to this weekend, what did you do on the weekend, what did you get up to, did you do something crazy that's just like you? I'll tell you about my weekend, it was real off,

Chop Heller. I went and saw a musical called Stella about Miles Franklin, one of Australia's most prolific writers, and there's an award named after her. She wrote all things. You make you go weird. She wrote things about being a woman at the turn of the century, my brilliant career. And Joe Koski was in it. And I thought that was Finit. Yeah, I saw him do a play. It was really funny. Musicals aren't gay. They can be. Doesn't really matter. Because it's just a wonderful community. Eddie Perfect was there. I saw him in the scene. Yeah. It was, oh, it was $85. I got a question for Zach. What did I get on time you're waking? Yon. Bambon. Pizza party with my sister. Pizza party with my fam. There were lots of kids running around.

There were sausage rolls made by my mom. I had lots of fun at the pizza party. He had Sprite zero. Yeah, I did. What? Pizzas. Oh, did you. Did you have my, oh, uh. Oh, yeah, yeah. What pizzas, we're at the pizza party. Time out. That's Phil. He's going to write. He's going to write.

I think he's writing. He might be looking up like a pizza restaurant menu. Isn't it interesting how most pizza restaurant menus have similar items on them? Some of them have different ones. But most of them you can like, you know, you can be like, oh, I can probably get a, you know, a ham. I think it's. We have different perceptions of interesting. Like, I think it's interesting that you could be so far away on another planet that light years away that when you look back at Earth, you see like the Romans, the Roman Coliseum being built.

You know what I mean? Like, that's interesting to me, not that pizza shops have the same pizzas. What do you mean you can see the Romans? What do you mean you can see the Romans? Zachary Wayne, pizza party. Let's tell you what I had. Let's tell you what I ate Let's tell you everything I had at my sister's pizza party

What did they put in it What did that pie have in What was pie in? Well first up Hawaiian Then they were pairing With that a vegetarian Oh

Oh yeah that was lots of fun Then you can have American Oh Oh Yeah Oh, what's on America What's a Salami

Let me take it from the top Yeah Light years away are the planets They're so far away That the time it takes to For the light travelling that you could If you saw back When we see stars like on the planets

That's them millions of years ago To would fro So if you were on another planet And you saw our star and you had a strong enough lens or a camera you could see things that were happening thousands of years ago, don't you see? That's really cool, don't you think?

Don't be you a fool? But is that... Is that just theoretical because the telescopes powerful enough to see that sort of thing, that sort of thing,

From that far away Is it just an idea Or has it been made A reality Brun and Kelly Tell me No spaceo The one has ever

Made the camera strong enough To do this I'm not seen No one has made the cameras Strong enough Yeah Ride the horse. Take the woman.

Bring them. No one's made the camera strong enough to see a robe, big coliseum being built. No, no one has done that. Yeah. Oh. We've had this one. Have we? It doesn't matter, because here comes sack attack.

Ready with some rhymes. And guess who else is here? It's Moogie Oh Hey, I'm Moogie Shit Wow A Moogie planet

Light is even slower I can see what you did Yesterday from a meter Wow What did you see yesterday Muggy on your planet What did you say I saw you doing a wink

Oh Was that today Or was that when he was 16 I saw him wanking Yesterday today Today What time? What was, what was it roughly about what time was it? Earlier in the morning around 11-ish.

Oh, it checks out. Checks out. Mugi saw me wank. Muggy saw me wank, and Muggy saw me wank, yeah. Okay, well, is it just the Romans that they'd see? Is it because of a specific time me? What? It depends on the planet and the angle.

You can probably see, probably oceans. That's probably why you'd see. No, I don't know. They have to be as far away in light years as that time was ago. Right, so not every planet can see the Romans. No. And that's what I thought you said. I thought you said every planet could see the Roman Empire

because of light and how long light takes to get to other planets that all of them would be looking at us in. See gladiators fighting for their life, filling the Coliseum with strife and sharks. It's fucking true. They did it. Ask Ridley Scott. He's not full a shit it. Muggy, what would you do if you could travel through time?

What would you spoo? What would you spoo? What would you spoo? What would you spoo? If you could travel through time, what would you spoo? What would you spoo? What would you spoo? What would you spoo?

What? Don't you spoo? Here we go. Oh, fuck. This track is all about what I would spoo. Which is a verb in moogie. Mugies actually spoo every day. I bet you didn't know that.

I had no idea, Muggy. Yeah. I spoo in the morning. Shit. I spoo at night. Whoa. Yeah, it's pretty much all that a muggy do. What would a muggy spoo?

Let me tell you. What's this song decides to have a drumbeat come in? Five. Six and seven eight. Mookie Spoo, every day. Mookie do, that's what's spoo. Not much. Rappen to do on this sort of slow.

Oh. Mookie Spoo. Moogie Spoo. Mookie. And what is Spoo? What do you do when you do a spoo? Muggy Spoo, well, it's hard to say. It's hard to describe Spoo without the word spoo.

You know what I mean? It's one of those words. It's hard to tell you what a spoo is. without using the word spoo. Show me what a spoo is. Can't show you what a spoo is. You have to come to Muggyland to see the Spoo. Well then, what do we do, ing?

Talking about spoo. If you can't show me and you can't do a spoo, you can't tell me what a spoo is. Muggy Spoo every day. Muggy Spoo and do the boonix spoo. We do lots of things every day, but what is a spoo that you do every day? Muggy spoo is more than anything else. All I do is spoo all day.

I do spoo. I do spoo. I do a spoo. It's what we do. What's the closest verb we have in the English dictionary to what a spoo is? Doesn't have to be exactly necessarily the same thing. Just give us a hint. Something close.

Like B or R. Like B or R. To exist. Yeah. So spoo is. So Spoo It's just how a Muggy be Is this a genre change?

Yeah, that makes sense to me There was a moogie on a town The train And he runs the hole He was the man of the town And he ran to the gold And he ran to Dublin And he ran to the hall

We did go down to the Spoo Town To buy his bag of spools And the English came in town of the Muggies and they came to the Dordigold and those English pigs and they're all and their fat pig life and the muggies fought back and the muggies fought with life and the muggies fought the English back and they took back to the town. We asked a spoo every single day the English tried to take that away. What do you mean you bought a bag of spoon?

Can't spoo without a bag of spoo. But you said, you said that Spoo was a state of being, and then you said you bought a bag of spoo. What is your meaning? Let me clarify, that's not what I said to y'i. I never said it was being.

I said that's the closest verb to me. Yeah, but, yeah, but even if that's a close verb, you can't buy a bag of bee, You can't buy a bag of a fuck you're talking about can't I'm telling you that's how fundamental to my nature it is But it's not close It's not close at all Because if it was close

Yeah Are the rules helping Uh Define help I'll do that for you right now 30 minutes straight by About doing rapping getting that rhythm going

you make it snappy but every time that the fucking music changes it's really like a hard right turn and it's insane so I'm just wondering are these clauses helping bring in all these people in is that really helping

that's my question to you and that's my question to you yeah and it's also my question to you yeah yeah hey 30 minutes straight fire my question to you both is this what we desire

is anyone listening to this is this the gist. Yeah. What's the spoo shit? That's what I want to know. Let me act as the town crier for 30 minutes straight fire. Let me tell you what I got got.

45 second break. So what I would say is I really loved the intro. I thought that two minutes folding intro was really effective. There have been moments where the new rules have actually really lifted the game. I was going to say, what I think I've noted is the best rapping moments happen when someone brings, it's the first two lines when someone comes in. That's interesting. For me, I need about 20 to 30 minutes finding the rhythm and then I hit something good.

Yeah. I rarely come in good with the rap. I give the example of Mark before. Like, he had a rhyme there and then after that it fell apart. But, and that's all I have. And then I just panic and just start saying gibberish. See, I think that's true for you too. For me, I start with gibberish and then occasion.

Usually it hits on. Okay. Let me tell you about a story. Yeah. Happened to me the other day. Yeah. Made me not feel that okay. Oh no.

I took a big piss. Aimed for my mouth and I missed. Then I went to do a kiss. But it wasn't on my list. So then I took my fist and I made some piss missed. Yeah. And then I made some piss missed. I did a dis on a snake and it made it hiss.

Go to rhyme zone. No, I just wrote the word pierce. And then I wrote every word I could think of that rhymed with piss. I just did that for 45 seconds and I tried to put them together with a little rhyme and a little bit out of my brain. That's called improv. It's insane. So many words ride with piss So many words they don't miss

When you want to rhyme A good word is piss I thought I ate Off the top of my dome Hey now I'm ready to go home Yeah you eight You ate with that list of words that rhyme with piss Eight words.

It's the Piss List. It's my list of words that rhyme with Piss. And guess what? What? List is on the list. It's an almost rhyme. It was a bit of a miss. But I was under pressure.

Forty-five seconds. That's leather. You can't miss with a Piss list. Here's a bigger list that rhymes with Piss. But did you look it up? Use and the internet. Or did you think of it using only your head? Sorry, Braden, did you look something up?

Yes. Are you doing writing outside of a timeout right now? Yes. Well, that's an immediate disqualification according to the rules. Fuck. Well, thanks for having me here. Well, I guess this is your goodbye track. Yeah, okay.

If you want to say goodbye over the next 30 minutes. My only ads I'm getting on the internet at the moment are Tootalo ads. Yeah, it's because it's the best company in the world. Goodbye. I have to go right. No, I broke the rules. I played the fools So I got to leave this show

I gotta leave it now Got to go over there Stand like a cow I have broken the rules So I gotta leave this show For you fools Hey goodbye Mark Goodbye Mark

Forer Lark Could you do a little Italian man One last time For Afghanistan Oh hello Afghanistan Isoguto have you here

I am Italian man Ha That was great Why to hack And can I say Goodbye to Zach Zach Do some Spanish words for me

Before I get a for tech To me Okay I can do some Spanish words for you But I can't really think of them And boogie Snip, snip, snip, snip Too late

We chopped his balls up Now he comes too late When he comes now No baby in there Oh yeah No pregnancy scare Goodbye boys It's been real fun

I'm gonna go Be number one At standing in the corner over there I've had enough Do you dare to keep rapping Without me I wonder you'll have to see Don't actually go.

No, I've got to leave. Goodbye, boys. Don't go. See you later. Don't go, Broden. I got to know what did you look up on the list that got you kicked off the show. I got to know what was there. What's over there?

Oh, is that a bear? Hello, bear. What's you doing over there? Hello, Mark. How are you? I'm a grizzly bear. Oh, shit. I didn't know that you'd talk to me.

My friend Broden Kelly got of a sec. to me. Uh-huh. I'm a grizzly bear and I'm brown and great. I love to sing, like, little songs and I think that's, wait, I just gotta say, how are you today? Because that's all I know how to say. I know you think it's great, but what do you mean that when you sing songs you think it's weight? I only know five or six words, you see, I've only been learning words since 1993. Well, that's quite a long time to learn words So I'm surprised that you don't know that many Although my nonna came here in 63

And she would know many words than they So that's fair enough for me Hey, what do you say to thee? Your nonna knows so many words She knows probably 10,000 in her language I only know five words Because I'm a bear I'm the bear that knows the most words

in all the land I think it's fair to criticise a person who doesn't know any words but lies but I'm a bear I know five words that's the most words a bear

has ever learned My nun has got dementia She forgets herself She gets mad at her daughters And doesn't remember Who is she And what's over there And what's going on?

Hey guys, it's me back. I could come back because we hit 30 minutes. Wow. Hey. I just want to tell you guys something. Yeah. As someone who was standing, stop trying to rip my fucking arm long.

You fell for the oldest trick in the book. Someone was standing over there. Yeah. Without the music. Yeah. Just watching you both. It is one of the most fucked things I've ever. And you got to see a genre change as well.

Can we release this track? That's my thought is maybe for page. just the mics without the audio because it is truly like just fucking unwatchable. That's great. I think that's a great Patreon exclusive. The musicless 30 minutes is straight. I'll show you the footage of it because it's just... It's a good example of you get what you pay for.

So, well, that's 30 minutes. That was pretty spectacular. Goodbye. Well, I think first we've got to decide who, Tom has to decide who out of the four of us, The winner of 30 minutes of straight fire is... And he's going to sing it. I couldn't choose between you three. Four.

He definitely not a contestant. I think Broden had some rhymes. Mark was really good and Zach was really funny. It's okay, Tom. You don't have to give it to me. I know this isn't my strength that I can see. It's between Mark and Broden. That's the truth, but who's going to get it?

Well, only the Charlie Puth. That's right. The winner is Charlie Poo. Holy crap. This is the first posthumous winner of 30 minutes of straight fire. It's not a lot. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant Charlie Kirk. I don't know why.

I just saw a thing the other day about our... They reckon put a thing in his microphone. No So he was in my head I'm not saying That's true I just saw it So he's in my head

That's all I'm saying More than anything I wanted to say Tom this track fuck's hard You should have put this on And not smoked shard Congratulations to Charlie Puth With your perfect key

And your Ruth You are very good I like the song You made for Fass and Furious Seven I'm sorry I thought that it was Charlie Kirk I thought it was a different Charlie That's my mistake He died

Charlie Pooth's alive He writes song and the other's dead Charlie Puth recently sang The National Anthem at the football final He did a good job and timed it with the plane and he does TikToks about music theory Charlie Kirk is dead Got shot in the neck

Charlie Puth is fine He's still alive He's very good at singing Inconsistent with his image That's why he's not as famous as he maybe should be Erica Kirk is the wife of Charlie Kirk Not Charlie Pooth Not Charlie Puth

Although time will tell Well everyone dies eventually but No I just mean they might maybe they'll get married. No, Charlie Puth is married. Oh, so you can't get a divorce? Are you telling me that you think Charlie Puth is at some point going to marry Erica Kirk? I'm saying anything is possible.

I think they move in very different circles. I'm saying anything is possible. When you're doing this, think of what the impact this podcast has on Brooke Puth. Which one's Brooke? Is that Charlie Kirk's daughter? Charlie Pooth's daughter? That'd be Charlie. No, Charlie Pooke's wife.

Yeah. Brook booth. Oh no. Oh, no. I am Charlie Kirk. Cut it there. Cut it, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Cut it, cut, cut.

It's in the podcast. Ha. Ha. Ha. Cut it, cut it, cut it. Auntie Donna. You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another Ripper episode.

brought you by auntie done a club.com. See you next week. Welcome to the future.