Aunty Donna Podcast - All Skillets Have Eggs feat. Tom
Episode Date: August 27, 2024Zach was struck down with long poos, so we brought Tom the Music Man in to teach Mark how to make music. Plus skillets. LINKS There's a new Grouse House series starting on September 2nd. Check out ...the trailer for 'Descent' here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FjSigpEHcQ Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/  CREDITS  Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Guest: Thomas Zahariou Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper   Managing Producer: Sam CavanaghJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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A listener production.
Hello and welcome back to the Aunty Donna podcast.
We have a very special guest this week.
It's Tom Armstrong.
And we discussed something very interesting, something very special.
It's about a type of cast iron pan or pot and whether or not they contain
a certain ingredient that comes out of a chicken.
So why don't you listen and if you want to watch head over to TheAuntieDonnaClub.com where you can
see all the visuals and we've got a whole bunch of extra fun stuff there too. Extended sketches,
Zach talking about Star Trek, Broden talking about football.
I don't know if that's out yet, but it's a fun one. Enjoy this episode.
Sorry to start this week's episode on a somber note, folks.
We got a call this morning, Zach was unwell.
It was to do with poos.
Long poos.
He was doing very long poos, which is strange.
Not diarrhea, not constipation.
Long poos.
I don't even know what that means.
But yeah, I was like, say no more. He's doing
long poos. But it made me think Mark, we got Tom in as an emergency fill in. Yes. But it made me
think any one of us could go down in any moment and what are we going to do? Life is so fragile.
And it's like, can be really long. Yeah. So what happens one day we wake up, you've got long poos.
What do we do then?
Well, I would just come in.
Yeah, you remember that day you came in with your long poos?
Yeah, I tufted out.
But more importantly, you and I can be replaced.
What do we do if Tom can't be here and we need a song?
Well, we need to skill up.
That's right. Up skill is what the phrase is, but we need to, um, uh, we need to up skill.
It still, it does still work.
Skill up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's, it's like, let's go food eat.
You know what I mean?
That you can, that still works.
You know what I mean? That still works. I think that, I think Skill Up might be the name of an Australian video game YouTube channel
that I watch a lot.
Skill Up.
Well that makes it even more unclear.
More unclear.
More unclear.
But we want to upskill.
The main problem is what happens if the music man isn't available and we need music now?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So what are we doing?
We are skilling, we are upskilling and in a way upselling.
And skill upping.
And skill upping makes me think of skillet.
Yeah, me too.
And I love a skillet.
But we're not doing that. Which makes me think, should we. Yeah, I do. But that may be that's- And I love a skillet. But we're not doing that.
Which makes me think, should we do this or get lunch?
Fuck, let's get lunch.
No, no, we gotta do it.
Alright.
What are those things called where you have like tomato and you make little holes and you put eggs in them and then you bake them?
Shishuka.
Yeah.
That's in a skillet.
Uh, yes it can be.
But if we go, here's my issue, if we go and get lunch now, and we don't build a contingency,
something happens to him.
From the music man to Tom.
Oh, Tom's here by the way.
Oh hi everyone.
I said that, I said he's filling in.
Did you?
Yeah.
Ah, fuck man, I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Because Zach's got elongated poos.
Yes.
No, long.
Like stretchy mozzarella.
Very, very, very, very pooey, very dicky podcasts we've done is today without Zach.
But what do we do if this is the problem?
This is the problem.
Is at this time, where are you going to find a place that's doing hot skillets?
Yeah, well that is one.
But then also if we-
In South Melbourne. Yeah, there's no chance. I mean, there'd be places. Yeah. Well that is one, but then also if we- In South Melbourne.
Yeah, there's no chance.
I mean there'd be places.
No.
Where would you go in South Melbourne for skillet?
You reckon there'd be a hot skillet place around here?
What kind of shops have skillet dishes?
Um, like-
The right sort of cafe, right?
Uh, no, I don't think I've ever been to a cafe where they've brought out a-
Well, cause I'm thinking, I guess I'm thinking Asian, like Chinese, they bring out the skillet.
Yeah.
Cause he's thinking of shishuka.
Yeah, I'm thinking shishuka.
Yeah. You're thinking cafe.
I'm thinking like more like dining.
Is he wrong?
No, but that's the kind of only skillet.
What?
At a cafe.
Whereas I think there's a bit more of a variety of skillet dishes.
I mean, there's baked eggs.
That's what he's talking about.
Yeah, but that's breakfast.
But you can have breakfast for lunch.
Yeah, I love that.
Depends on where you are in the world,
what is defined as lunch.
Well, when we did shows in Hong Kong,
they were almost having noodles for breakfast.
That is very, very true.
And the people working there, the Hong Kong locals,
were like, you haven't fucking bread for breakfast, you weirdo.
Yeah, yeah.
It is a strange thing to have bread for breakfast.
I call it bread first.
That's how ingrained it is with me.
So I call it skill lunch.
Because I'm always trying to have a skillet for lunch.
With eggs?
No.
No.
See?
No, that's skill Breakfast. Skillfest.
Where Skillfest, that sounds like a sick music festival that will run for like four or five
years and then fucking shut down because of low ticket sales in this country.
It's hard to get the big bands.
It is.
It's expensive.
Yeah, they want the fee. We're a far way away. It's hard to get the big ticket sellers to headline the festivals and the independent music scene in Australia is struggling. So get out there, support your local venues.
Which is why you and I need to learn from Tom how to make music in case he goes down.
Using this program called Thomas Armstrong.
Now what's happened, what is sitting in front of me folks, if you are not watching the visual,
is Tom has handed over, how much is this laptop?
That was like five and a half thousand dollars.
Why?
Tom has handed over his five and a half thousand dollar laptop to
Mark yes, why is it so fucking expensive? It was because it's like it's probably I mean this is
But you can open it up and just put your own stuff in it no that's the thing you can't
Ended system
Is that this Mac clothes ended you know? Close-ended? Is it a close-ended system? Is Matt close-ended?
You know full well, the ghost of Steve Jobs came to us the other week.
Really?
Yeah.
Fuck man.
But I think I got a 16 inch, I think it was like 8 core.
Mine's only 8.
Yeah, mine's about 8.
I got 8 core, 64 megabytes of RAM, gigabytes of RAM, megabytes of RAM.
I bought mine from Dickless Pete.
Yeah.
And for whatever reason, it was just really bloody expensive guys.
Now, Mark is going to open up a music program. Yeah, I already opened it for him. I'm so sorry.
Yeah, and sorry, it's not the program is not called Thomas Armstrong.
That's on I'm used to Windows where the name of the program is on the other side. This program is called File.
No, no, no, no, next to that. Edit, my apologies. No, on the left of that. Oh, it's just a symbol
of an apple with a bite. No, in between Apple Bite. There's nothing in between File and
Apple. There is, but that's just telling me whether the thing is breathing and
living or not. Live. The program's called Live, you see.
Right.
Oh!
Now what's going to happen here for the first time ever on a podcast, we've done Moving
Boat, we stood up the episode first shit on air, which will be coming out soon. First
time, three podcast hosts have shit on a table, which will be coming in a few weeks.
That's a big one. Very special guest. Spread their ass. And shit on a table. Yes, we had him for that one right on the nerf gun. Yeah now
What's for this is the first podcast ever where mark for the first time will be producing music on the spot
Directed by Tom so that you can teach a man to fish. Yeah, and I want to say and he has
Fish but he has no it. No. It's Teach A Man To Fish.
And he'll never be hungry.
No.
No?
Is it?
Give a man a song.
Give a man a fish. He's got a fish.
Yeah.
Teach a man the fish. He's got to go get a rod. He's got to get fucking-
So why bother?
Line, lure-
He's got a boat probably.
Just keep giving the guy fish if he needs them.
Yeah. So you're making a song today, Tom, directed by Tom. There's got a boat probably. Just keep giving the guy fish if he needs them. Yeah.
So you're making a song today, Tom, directed by Tom.
There's important context here.
Mark.
That I want to explain to the listener.
To listener?
To the listener?
To the listener.
To the listener.
The people that produce this podcast.
I can't see the laptop.
So I can't help Mark.
I'm not going to go over there and touch the mouse. But you are a master of your craft.
I don't think Sam Kavanagh cares about that.
I don't think he does either.
So this is for the listener.
You're right actually. It is actually for whoever's listening on a tram.
Yes.
Or anything.
Any moving vehicle or stationary place.
Or gym.
Yeah.
Gym.
A laborious job that doesn't require mental engagement. Yeah. Jim. A laborious job that doesn't require mental engagement.
Yeah.
Laborious George.
Someone in your life who may just be named George who is laborious.
And you're near them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Less so.
Less so.
I've got a laborious George.
But it's respectful.
It's about being respectful to people when they're talking to you.
So I wouldn't, even if you're bored by them, don't put a podcast in your ear.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. And good luck. Good luck sitting on public transport, listening to this, trying
to hold in those laughs because you will seem like a crazy person just pissing yourself
sitting on the tram or the train in the morning. You are just in the dirt today. You are just
a...
Well, I'm worried.
Why?
What worries you?
Is it climate change?
Is it the impending fear of death and nothingness that awaits us?
All of the above, but mainly that we're not going to be able to make songs unless we get
moving.
Exactly.
Tom is so busy throwing parties at his house that sometimes we may not be able to get him
in to make music for us. So we've
gotten him in today on one of his off days where he doesn't have a box social going on.
We call him Hugh Hefner of Melbourne.
He wears, you should see the luxurious gowns, dressing gowns he wears at his parties that
he throws at his house.
You remind me, the king-
Where his wife and son live.
The king and the king who gave away the throne to
marry a divorcee American. That one, you are him. Just parties every day. Parties every day.
Every day. And at his house with shared walls. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. So we're here today
to learn how to create music. We're going to figure it out. Yeah, and I can't see the screen.
I'm doing it from memory.
You can't see the screen.
I'm going to be the orchestrator.
What's the first thing he needs to do?
First thing he needs to do, I think...
I would say lay down a beat.
Okay, great.
But you tell me.
So I think you've got one program open, Mark.
I think you need to open another program and that's called Splice.
Now do you know how a dock works on a Mac?
How a dock works on a Mac?
Okay, so there's a lot of things that you've just thrown at me.
Splice, dock, Mac.
Splice.
So go down to the dock and find Splice.
Go down to the dock.
Go down to the dock.
Find Splice and open that up.
Okay, will there be a milk bar at the dock for me to be able to get the Splice?
No, Splice is the name of the program, not the dock for me to be able to get the splice?
No, splice is the name of the program, not the ice cream. Oh, right, okay, I'm sorry.
Not the ice cream.
Okay, all right.
I get ya.
Yeah.
So, okay, let's go through them.
Okay.
Finder.
No.
No.
Launchpad.
No.
Safari.
No.
Sounds fun.
And there's one of those in Werribee.
No.
Messages. No. Calendar. No. Notes. No. Let's go to Splice. Podcast. No. I'm trying. Music. Music?
No, no, no. Music? No, no, no. Splice.
No. Podcast sounds right.
Numbers. No. Pages. No. No. App Store. No. Oh, Ableton Live.
No, no, no. You've already got that open.
No. System preferences. No.
Splice. Yes.
Google Chrome. Splice.
Splice. No. Go back. Go back.
Splice. Go back. That's. Splice. Okay. Alright.
Alright, I got it. Now on the left there's gonna be a lot of options. Can you see Splice?
I can see Splice. It says sounds. That's what we need. Broden, I wish you could see this.
That's what we need. I wish you could see this. It's fucking cool. Describe it to me.
I'm like the listener. I am a listener. So, we currently have over 13,000 credits.
And each sound is worth one credit. And each sound is worth one credit. So we can go nuts.
So we can go absolutely crazy. I'm going to buy 13,000 OSDT to hi-hat love dot waves.
What does that mean? So I'm not sure where Mark is, but oh, that's nice.
But if you go to... Are you hearing that?
I heard it.
Yeah, it's a simple...
If you go to browse, perhaps Mark.
Yep.
Tell me what comes up.
Browse.
On the left hand side.
What comes up?
What comes up on the left hand side of browse is browse, create, sounds,
app and plugins.
What comes up?
Click on browse. Browse. Browse. It does say browse, create, sounds, app and plugins. Alright, so what comes up when you click browse?
Browse.
It does say browse.
I mean, for anyone that's used Splice before, you'll know I'm not crazy.
You click on browse, the first thing that comes up is it says browse.
Oh great, so to scroll down a bit.
Underneath that, it says instruments, genres, cinematic effects and presets.
So I think if you want beach, go to instruments.
I do want beach. Yeah, you get the thought. You could go genre or I do want beach. You could go genre or you could go instruments. Broden, where do you want to go? Beach.
Well we're gonna go genre or instruments. Where's the beach most likely to be? The genre of beach.
Okay go genre and then choose your genre. So you go hip hop or house. I think you should do a house beat.
Reggaeton.
No. Well, you could.
One says reggaeton.
Reggaeton.
Click on it.
Reggaeton.
I don't want to.
No, no, next one.
I don't like reggaeton.
UK garage?
That could be fun.
Let me hear it.
It'll be the sounds of sores and buzzes and hammers.
No, it'll be like uptempo house. It's sort of like boom kappa to kappa boom.
Okay let's try and find that.
Let's on UK Garage.
And then what's come up?
Explain to me what's come up because I can't.
It says like samples, presets, packs.
Okay so you want samples.
Presets are a band.
That sounds right.
Yeah.
No no no you want samples.
And packs.
Go samples.
I'm at samples. I'm telling you. And packs. Just go samples.
I'm at samples.
And then have...
There's also all.
Can you see a list of samples?
Yes, I can.
Alright, now you can start previewing them and listening to them, Mark.
Alright.
That's just a hi-hat.
So mostly...
So, so far my experience of Splice has been when you click on something, it just goes...
So maybe change...
Is that a fair thing to change? It is, okay this really changes things so if you like that mark you
could download that oh you just make it all on splice no no no you want to
download those samples and put it into Ableton what is that two things you're
doing oh hang on you're making the music just by
clicking on the samples of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you move them? You can make them
in splice. Because you might want to change the tempo, you might want to mix it in. And
what if you want to keep adding bass? What if you want to add bass to the drums? Oh,
well then you'd just probably click on, where is it? Where is the one shot deck, snap, oh, oh, oh, this is great.
I didn't realise it was this easy.
Yeah, I mean, come on, give me some credit.
You're not mean, I think you're quite nice.
Click the thing again.
Alright, so let's, hey, let's see if anyone has been willing to give us money and cut to an ad break.
If not.
If not, let's just fucking carry on.
Back to the lane way for me.
Performing acts of...
Oh, that's a rim percussion.
All right, so where's the best place to start?
Is it Kick Future Garage?
No, no, no.
Here's what I think you should do.
Zienheiser?
No, here's what I think you should do, man.
All right.
Rather than, because you're a beginner, go up to see where it says...
A beginner?
He's skilling up.
I want you to... there's a menu where you can choose loops instead of one shots.
Can you see up the top?
I see your library, instruments, genres, key, BPM, one shots and loops.
Okay, so go to one shots and loops and change it to loops.
Okay.
And then I think have a scroll from there and you might be more open.
Now, do you want to start with some drum loops, Mark?
Yeah, drum loop funky.
Okay, then you can choose drums.
Drums, oh yeah, house synth.
No, let's start with synth.
Okay, start with synth. Click on synth.
This is incredible, Mark. Great job. Thank you so much. We don't need you, Tom.
This is so easy. Oh yeah. Broden, you just tell me when you find something. This one says interstellar wet. Yes, I like this one. All right. You can also use the key, the keys to
scroll down if you want, Mark. What do you mean? More than any keys. I'm
a bit frustrated. Oh oh. Oh I like that go back.
You sound like that. Okay let's get that one. That's bass synth loop. I want a bit
fishy. I think bass and bass are spelled the same, are they?
Are they? No, I'm not sure. Alright, well let's... Download that one and in a Stella.
So do you know how to download it Mark? I suppose I would click on the three little dots.
Hurry up Mark, hurry up. I'm trying. So I think you, on the right hand side of Spice,
there's like, should be like a download icon I think, or a buy icon. There's a, there's like should be like a download icon. I think or a buyer. There's a there's a show similar sounds
No, no, no add to likes. There's a plus one credit plus one credit plus one credit. So that's not by at all
No, it just you're using a credit. I guess you're not buying you're using a credit. Yeah, so I
Would have said so I'm going if I had if I had knowledge of this program and I'd use that man
I'm going off memory. It should be a plus
Yeah, you would because you remember I knew I needed to memorize the way the program's
laid out.
No, no, no, it's all right.
We're not fighting.
It's all right.
Mark's made a very fair point about you, Tom, and it's about apologizing.
Okay.
It's been added to our library.
No, don't apologize.
Now drag the sample into Ableton.
From just, so I've pressed plus, now there's a tick next to it.
Right so that means it's downloaded to your computer now it is synced locally so you can just...
Do I need to go into downloads? No you can just drag it straight from Splice
into a track on Ableton. Into a track on Ableton. You see how you've got four tracks there?
I've got red track, I've got orange track. So wherever you want to go you can just drop it there.
Green track and then I have another green track. Are you seeing... Are you seeing
waveforms Mark? Yes I am seeing waveforms. Then drop another green track. Are you saying are you seeing waveforms mark?
Yes, I am saying why then drop it in there
Can I just ask you Tom while he drops it in there how you how is this making you feel to have?
Mark be taking to this so quickly. I mean, I don't think I didn't think he's listen to what I've already made
This is not already made
This took me 15 minutes man now, what was the BPM of the original sample mark?
Because you might want to adjust the BPM of the project to match that sample.
Okay, that's all right.
So that's, that is, that's huge knowledge.
Yeah, because Splice will tell you what BPM that sample was.
All right, here it is.
It's still all right. D min. Um, all right, here it is. It's still, all right.
Uh, Dmin. No, one...
That's the key.
That's Dmin.
Dmin.
No, I think it's saying the key is Dmin.
Oh, at least D.
It's at least a D.
Yeah.
It could go up to like C.
Yeah.
Uh, 125.
So I would go into Ableton and adjust the tempo to 125, which is the top.
So I go to file, save live set as default set.
No, no, no, no, no, no, you definitely don't want to do that.
In the top left hand corner, there should be a 120.
This is like when someone's like when someone's flying a plane and then in a flight plane
there's a pilot on the ground trying to talk you through how to do it.
Exactly.
Yes.
It does say 120.
It is.
It is like that.
And where it's like we're going down.
Oh, and I just use the buttons.
I just use the buttons.
Change it to 125.
Yeah.
And I've done that.
It's all like someone's got a bomb and they're trying to decode the bomb and with a bomb
expert on the phone.
Do you know what this needs?
What?
Vocal.
Okay. on the phone. Do you know what this needs? What? Vocal. Okay, so you were in synth,
click the X next to synth and go to vocal and try and find something in D
minimum. Yes I found it. I actually found it. And then you could actually change the
key to D min if you want Mark. To D min? Yep, so that you can find only samples in Dmin that are vocals.
What's D hashtag min?
Is that like the Instagram version of it?
That would be D sharp min.
Okay.
Which would have a very distant sound.
That's not vocals at all.
Well it's a vocal chop Mark.
It does say chops here.
Yeah, because it's a vocal chop.
What does that mean?
It's a chopped up vocal to create a...
Can you say that one?
And put that in over the nice bass.
Already?
Yeah, I want to hear them together.
He uses that all the time, that one.
What BPM is the vocal you're going for, Mark?
123.
But this one, this next one, guess what...
125?
Yeah.
Put it in there.
Alright.
I have to press the plus first, though. Yeah, you have to purchase or use a credit. Guess what? 125? Yeah. Put it in there.
I have to press the plus first though.
Yeah, you have to purchase or use a credit.
Man, making music is easy.
HG Cook, eat your fucking heart out.
There's some things you're going to need to do.
Noel Gallagher.
Some very important things you're going to do, Mark.
Yes.
Because you're going to have red line peaking because you've put in the bass line at zero
decibels and now you're going to put in this vocal at zero decibels and that's gonna have red line peaking if you play
them back together. No it isn't. What do you mean by any of that? I don't think it
is. Red line peaking. Yeah.
This is fucking sick. We need drums. Yeah, no but he's got the drums. I think it needs
more vocal. Okay.
But I want something like...
Can you just go to the...
I want to rap over it.
Can you turn...
That'll be good.
You don't need to worry about a key with the rap sometimes.
Oh, really?
Can you just turn down the tracks, please?
They're all unlocked.
Sorry.
How do I turn it down?
Is this entertainment?
I'm having a good time.
So on the far right where you drop the tracks... How do I turn it down? Is this entertainment? I'm having a good time.
So on the far right where you dropped the tracks.
I don't really lean that way.
I'm sorry it's difficult. I'm very sorry.
It is, you know, it's a lot of information.
It is. You're saying a lot of things.
So where you dropped the bass.
Yes. Just scroll your eyes
to the right.
And there should be, as on the track information, there should be a zero zero zero.
And I want you to change that to minus 15.
A zero zero zero.
Yeah, can you see the zero?
On the right.
Next to like the track number, it should have like track one, two or three or four.
Focus Mark.
It says I am trying.
There's one, there's only a single zero. Yeah okay, change to zero, type in manually minus 15.
Minus 15, enter. Yes and then maybe change the vocal to like minus 12 or
something. Minus 12 or 13, minus 13. Minus 13, is 13 better? Yeah I think so.
Then we'll put the drums at minus 10 and that should should be. I do mine. 11. That 11.
It's just a starting point guys.
Just a guy.
What about the rap?
Hold on.
Let's listen to what difference that made.
It's quite quiet.
It's quieter now.
Yeah, it's very quiet.
Do we put it back up to plus 25?
Why don't we put a mastering suite on the master to get that volume back?
So go to audio effects on the side.
Is that funny?
Is that a funny thing to do? Or is is that to just master the sound at the moment?
I just don't want to blast out, you know, blast down and get a distorted signal.
What does the mastering thing do?
It makes it so it doesn't red line above zero.
Paul Thomas Anderson's film, if I may, Tom, is Philip Seymour Hoffman plays sort of the
opposite to Jaquan Phoenix's role,
which is the idea of masculinity and these two forces, a controlled force and the loose
force and how they actually attract one another.
Right, right. And it's sort of a rumination on kind of Scientology.
That's where it sits, yeah.
Right, okay, great.
It's his most cerebral film, I would say.
It's my least favourite of his, but having said that, I only saw it once.
It's worth a re-watch.
Yeah, let's put it in and what decibel should we put that in at?
Like minus eight?
I've lost track of what we're doing.
If you've lost track, then there's no hope.
I thought we were going to put a mastering suite on the master channel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Starring Paul F. Thompson.
So can you see? Paul F. Thompson.
It's Paul F. Thompson's masterpiece.
All right.
OK. OK.
And do you want to do that?
How do I do it? Do I go to create?
No. So you go far left and there should be like audio effects on the far left.
Yes. OK. Go to audio effects rack.
Wait, there's audio effects on the far left.
Yeah, can you see that?
And there should be like plugins and...
I say plugins.
Okay, so there should be audio effects.
Audio effects, yes I do see it.
So open up that and go to audio effect rack.
Audio effect rack.
And then go to mixing and mastering, I think it is.
But how does the audio effect the rack?
Well we're going to find out.
We're going to... do I drop the audio effects here?
No, no, no.
Open up the menu more.
Oh, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then go to mixing and mastering, I think.
This is a great master class for anyone.
Yeah, everyone's learning.
Mixing and mastering.
So can you say some audio effect?
Yeah, should we do a bass bash?
So I think a reverse favor.
I think for this, maybe go to punchy dance master.
I think I just think a reverse favor. I think for this maybe go to Punchy Dance Master. I think, I just think a reverse favor.
I agree.
Okay, so you want to drop that onto the master track though, Mark, which is down the very,
the very bottom track.
The very bottom, the very bottom track.
Yeah.
Wait, not the, wait, because now a little panel has come up.
Folks, I just want to put my hand up and say this bit is definitely un-listenable.
I feel like before it was really good
Yeah, this mastering shit
Un-relatable. Well because now I've got all these knobs and nibs and buttons and bits
All you need to do is drop it on the master track. Maybe that can be the top line. So can I play the song?
Wait, I've got I've got the lyrics for the song. I really want to look
That sounds exactly the same. Knob and nibs, buttons and nibS AND BIBS, KNOBS AND NIBS, BUTTONS AND BIBS,
KNOBS AND NIBS.
I'm just going to search Splice for KNOBS AND NIBS.
Okay, okay.
This is now we're getting somewhere.
It's not a great search engine, so...
KNOBS AND NIBS, BUTTONS AND BIBS,
KNOBS AND NIBS, BUTTONS AND BIBS.
Okay, so there's no results.
It's not a great search engine that way.
If you just went KNOBS, I think you'd find something. What about nibs? Okay
There's the knobs that's knobs still knobs oh
That's knobs plus more. No, we want that we want some knobs plus more knobs. That's knobs and hat
You want knobs full wave? Yeah, put that in plus and I want to hear these all together and now let's check the nibs. I
Feel like I should go over there and just quickly put the mastering suite on.
I don't think it's important.
Okay, alright, fine.
I don't think it's important.
Okay.
Alright, so that's the first nib that comes up, but there is a loop nib.
What BPM is that, Mark?
130.
Okay, that could work then.
Yeah, I think that could work then.
I think the first nib is more my passion.
Yeah, I like the first nib. Oh Yeah, I think that could work. I think the first nib is more my passion. Yeah, I like the first nib.
Oh shit, I accidentally already bought this.
Using my 13,000 credits.
I'm so sorry.
It's only one credit each though.
Yeah.
Alright, so I bought-
Five fifteen of them.
I bought two, I bought both nibs, but I have lost the knob because I didn't drag it in.
But I can probably find it again.
Let me put these nibs in.
You didn't drag the knob?
Man, I'm so sorry.
I did not drag the knob in.
What's amazing is all these loops are the same length.
They A bar loops?
Yes.
Amazing.
But it goes up to nine because I haven't put it all the way at the start.
How far is he from being a music producer, Tom?
Well, if you...
He's there.
I can't believe this is all it takes.
And the fact that...
All right, so hold on.
This is what I'm going to do.
I'm going to add the knobs.
I refound the knobs.
Okay.
So the knobs are in there.
Shorter loop.
And you're just going to put all the volumes back to zero, Mark?
Or what are you gonna do?
Um, well don't get mad at me.
No, we need to solve this issue.
I've got the reverse favour in.
Okay.
I don't know what it's doing.
If it's not on the master channel, it won't be doing anything.
I don't know what that means when you say that because I can see the knobs and the nids.
So you see how there's tracks, right? You've got your tracks 1, 2, 3, 4.
Yes.
And then you should have small tracks which is like A return, B return.
Yes, A reverb, B delay.
And then master.
Master, so you want to put it on there.
At the very bottom.
Just drag it onto master.
And then it should be nice and loud.
That's too loud. That's actually, I don't mind that though.
I don't mind what happened there.
It's confusing.
It's confusing and a little disorienting.
It needs a rap.
Yeah, it does.
Did you turn down the drums?
Because I feel like it's...
Tom, that was too loud.
How do we make it sound a bit nicer?
No, I didn't.
It sounds like it's peaking.
I would have put the drums at probably minus 10, which is what I suggested before.
And then...
Is this raps?
That's good. What BPM is this?
73.
Okay, that's a...
That'll work.
Okay.
It'll be very fast or very slow.
73 is about half.
Is it? Oh yeah, actually it
might work perfectly then. 73 times 73, oh no it's 146, it's a bit off. I've put in a
new track and I'm gonna turn that rap. Do you know how to make new tracks, Matt?
Pardon? Do you know how to make new tracks? Yeah, just drag it in. No, it's apple tea usually. Apple tea? No, no, I much prefer an English breakfast.
Brendan made the same exact joke before on my stream.
Hold on.
And what else is going on, Tom?
Just hanging out.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Dude, are you kidding me?
It's not funny. Dude, are you kidding me?
Something's fucked.
Man, that reverse favour fucking...
I really like that.
Can you play that three more times in a row?
Yeah.
You just, um, uh, control Z, control, control C, control V.
To copy it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you need to highlight everything. Look at the shorthand he's picking up.
Yeah, this is very good, Mark.
Oh, it's command though.
Yeah, because it's an Apple. Apple C, Apple V.
So this is, I think we're alright.
I think we're alright.
Folks, if you'd like to buy this song, you can on Apple Music.
I think we're alright.
I don't think, I think if Tom, well I'll do, I'll introduce it first.
Okay. Now tell me, what would you do with this? I don't think I think if Tom well, I'll do I'll introduce it first. Okay
now tell me what would you would do with this if I was a an
artist young
Aspiring willing to do fucking anything to make it and when I say anything Tom you mean anything
I mean fucking anything. Yeah, I come to you. Yeah with this track. Yeah, and I go
What would you do as a producer as a music producer? What would you do and burden? I want your input to me. Yeah
And I go we sit down around your table
Solid wood I reckon over a nice skillet. Yeah for a nice skillet for and you've got a selection of skillets
You've got breakfast and lunch skillets available. Wow, like a teriy nice skillet. Yeah, for a nice skillet. And you've got a selection of skillets. You've got breakfast and lunch skillets available.
Wow.
Maybe like a teriyaki skillet.
Yeah.
Or like one from Denny's.
Denny's do skillets.
Do they?
Oh, they do, yeah.
What sort of skillet do they do at Denny's?
Can I Google this?
I believe they would do both breakfast and lunch skillets.
I believe they would.
I would be surprised if a place like that didn't have a large variety of skillets.
I want to have a look at this while we talk.
Because the skillet, you fucking chuck it in the fucking fucking and then you put it in there. Oh my god!
Look at so they have this they have skillet archives right crazy spicy skillet, crumbed
chorizo sausage, jalapenos, sautéed mushrooms and fire roasted bell peppers and onions blended in.
Yeah in a skillet. Oh fuck that's sick. Yeah yeah and so I come to you with a skillet and I say to you...
No, the skillets are there.
Oh, is that...
Oh yeah, right.
Sorry.
He's got a table of skillets.
I've come, you have an offering of skillets.
Yeah.
Of different sizes and things.
Of different shapes and sizes.
But they're predominantly egg.
They're egg skillets?
Well that's what I'm...
I think egg is...
Well what about this crumb chorizo skillet right here?
That has egg in it, I think.
Does it?
Mm. That's the breakfast skillet then.
What are your fucking lunch skillets here?
You bring me here to your office.
I just think eggs are prevalent in most skillets.
Are they?
In my opinion.
Lunch or dinner or breakfast.
I don't think they have to be.
I don't think in the, if we're talking like your Chinese skillets,
I don't think there's a lot of egg going on in there.
Tell me I'm crazy.
Perhaps you're correct.
Egg skillet, like if I go to Papa Rich, no,
if I go to, what's that other one with the frying pans?
The other one with the, what, the restaurant
with the frying pans?
Papa John.
No, it doesn't matter, but I've had egg in skillet.
I'm not saying eggs don't exist in skillets because you can have them
You can post them. That's not the conversation in capsicum and tomato and stuff and it's like a shishou and that's like yeah beautiful
Yeah, but that chicken one that first chicken one there was no egg in that no
No, there was in the egg show it show it but there was one you showed with egg is all I'm saying
Did I yeah, there was one that there is a whole bunch. So we've got the crazy spicy skillet
That doesn't tell me what's in there. Not it. What's in that one in the supreme skillet?
You've got grilled sausage fresh spinach fire roasted bell peppers and onions mushrooms grape tomatoes and seasoned red skinned
Peppers peppers, I guess, that stop the description.
And look, and it has a picture of it with eggs, but no description of the eggs.
So the eggs are optional.
Yeah, it's odd, isn't it?
Now here's my fucking track.
I don't even care anymore.
I don't even want to be a music producer or a singer-songwriter anymore. I'm just fucking fed up with
these arguments over eggs and skillets. But here's my next number one take it or
leave it and I'd like to know and from you too as well Broden what you would do with it.
I want eggs and a fucking skillet. There are eggs! There are! But there are some without for me.
Why do you want them without? Because I'm just writing, I want lunch!
And for me, eggs right now, I'm not in the mood for lunch.
You just got locked in your head that an egg is a breakfast thing?
Yeah, you're usually an eggy person though, you always get egg.
You have egg for dinner? I've seen you have egg for dinner.
I fucking will often have breakfast for either lunch or dinner.
Yeah.
I'm not saying...
But that's not to say that egg isn't in a dinner dish
I'm not saying any of this. I am being I'm well call this the crucible
Because I feel like I'm I am a woman
Yeah for being a witch no
Yeah, I
Understand in Salem witch trials. I understand what happens now, being put on trial from my opinions on eggs, which
hasn't been fully explained.
I'm not talking about you can't put an egg in a skillet.
I'm not saying I don't enjoy an egg in a skillet.
I'm not saying you can't have an eggy skillet for lunch or dinner.
What I'm saying is right now for lunch, the skillet that I desire doesn't have egg.
But skillets always have egg.
No, they don't.
We proved that going through the day.
Hell yeah.
Here we go.
Skillet.
Skillets with eggs.
All skillets have eggs.
All skillets have eggs.
I'm on board now.
All skillets, all skillets have eggs.
All skillets, all skillets have eggs.
So that's my song.
I'd probably try and work out what that awful distortion is all about, give it a quick mix
down.
Well I did put a reverse favor over the master.
Right.
If I removed that.
Yeah, it'd potentially sound more pleasant.
I don't know how.
You can just click delete, yeah.
You have to highlight the effects.
I'm highlighting the, I don't know what, I'm just going to press this yellow circle and see what happens.
Yellow circle. Oh yeah, that turns it on and off.
Oh, does it? Does that make a difference?
Hit it.
Is that better?
No.
I can't tell if it's the same or worse.
Yeah, it sounds the same to me.
Well folks, that's this episode. Is it?
Yeah, I feel like I learnt a lot.
Can you swap seats for a second and let Tom just hop on?
Because he's desperate, like I've never seen, you know, like, with my dog at home when I let him out the front, you know, like he's got the tail wagging, like he just wants...
Let's see how long it takes him to fix this song.
And then look at this man, he's locking in now.
What the fuck did you do, Mark?
So look at this. Well, the biggest... yeah, go for locking in now. Describe what you're... What the fuck did you do, Mark? So look at this.
Well, the biggest...
Yeah, go for it, Tom.
Right, so you put...
I instantly went to go drink your coffee as well, Tom.
Just being in the seat with the position of the iced coffee, it felt like it was mine.
So you put the reverse favour on the base as well as the master, as well as the knobs
full.
So you have like the reverse favour everywhere.
But what about the nibs? What about the nibs, Tom? have like the best favourite ever.
But what about the nibs?
What about the nibs, Tom?
What is the reverse phrase?
Nobs and nibs.
So I would just immediately go master punchy dance.
And let's just start.
Let's just do a quick mix down.
How's the bass?
Alright, but I did want to talk about the things I learnt.
Please, top five things you learnt.
One.
First better be a better fucking egg in a skillet.
things you learn. One. First better be a better fucking egg in a skillet. It's not. The vocal on plus four Mark you're crazy. I wanted it loud I wanted people to know
I had something to say. This is better and I can't argue with that. Um yeah. Oh
god. I can just picture myself going into the club, I walk down the stairs, the lights are flashing,
everyone has an egg skillet.
It's hot, their hands are burning.
Because they don't have knives.
They have knives and forks, they're standing.
And then yeah, everyone's kind of starts screaming.
I guess it is easy to make music.
This is a fucking, I could hear this on
Triple J. Yeah. Can you um, now just add, I know we should stop but I actually
want to make this a good song. Can you make the drums like, like really let it go.
Yeah, yeah. But don't change the melody or anything. No, no, no. So maybe we just, you want
another layer of drums. Is that what you're talking about? I want that on a
Driving bike. Yeah, like like you can stop listening now folks. This is just us making this song better
So why don't we go get that UK garage loop that we loved? Yeah, but I want a
Okay. Okay. Well, let me get like a fat something like a techno. Yeah that skillet of eggs. Yeah
Yeah, make it sound like what do you not like eggs? You just don't like the taste of eggs. Yeah, fat. Make it sound like an eggy skillet. What?
Do you not like eggs?
You just don't like the taste of eggs?
No, I love eggs.
Zach doesn't like eggs.
That's true.
And Zach's not here, man.
And Zach's not here.
I love eggs.
I love eggs in a skillet.
I love a skilly egg-it.
What?
What I don't, I love a skilly egg-it.
What does that mean?
That's an eggy skillet.
A skilly egg-it.
Yeah.
That's what this song should be called.
I'm just saying if I was picking lunch right now, the skillet of my, skilly egg it. Yeah. That's what this song should be called. I'm just saying if I was
picking lunch right now, the skillet of my truck, because I always have a skillet for lunch. What
are you talking about? They're not readily available in day-to-day cafes. I have skillets at home. How
many? I have four or five that I rotate through of varying sizes. I do. Different size skillets.
Some might need to be bigger for the eggs
because sometimes I'm loading those guns with eggs. But right now the skillet that
I desire. How do you clean a skillet? Well this is the thing, they are
they're quite a non-stick. They're pretty, yeah they're great. So you if I put a
bunch of eggs in a skillet and then just fucking spatula them up, there would be no residue.
Well, there would be, but then the cleaning of the skillet to get rid of the eggy residue
would be but a dream. Such a simple, easy task.
And you're just putting them on a grill?
Putting them in the oven.
So like poaches the egg?
Poaches the egg?
Yeah, because if you put it in the oven with like a lid on, the steam.
Yeah, but you can also fry it is the egg.
Fry it is the egg.
Poached is the egg.
It can't.
All right, here's what you do with my skillet song.
I like this episode a lot.
Here's the skillet song now with added techno. All skillets have eggs, all skillets have eggs, all skillets have eggs, eggy skillets,
skilly egg, it's skilly eggs, poached is the egg, fried is the egg, poached is the egg,
scrambled is the egg, All skillets have eggs.
All skillets have eggs.
All skillets have eggs.
All skillets have eggs.
Cook it in the oven.
Skilly eggs, egg skillet.
Man, this is a fucking fat ass track.
Making music is easy.
Yeah, it is.
I admit it.
That would literally suit some sort of just
diegetic action, skillet based
action film.
Whether it were the, uh, uh, protect the, uh, pro teganist, the pro tag in this or
egg in this or egg in this or just egg and a egg-in-ist, or just egg, and a egg-based, skillet-based action
film, diegetic, or diet, egg-ic.
Egg-edic.
Egg-edic.
Egg-edic.
Eggs, egg-edic.
Egg-edic.
Benedict.
Starring Benedict Cumber-egg.
Eggs Benedict.
What I'm just trying to say.
Eggs Benedict Cumber-egg.
Eggs Benedict Cumber-egg.
Eggs Benedict Cumber Egg. Eggs Benedict. What I'm just trying to say. Eggs You know, you could use that.
Yeah.
Egg or no egg.
Well.
Egg.
I've had an egg of a time and I've had one hell of a skillet.
Yeah, really stressful for me.
Oh yeah.
Why?
That was stressful for you?
Yeah, because you know, I just wanted to jump on the tools.
Well, here's the thing, Tom. If, I just wanted to jump on the tools.
Well, here's the thing, Tom.
If you ever lose your hands and eyes, that is how you'll have to make music.
And so you've got to get used to this kind of shit, man.
And also if you lose your hands and eyes, and you would look like an egg.
You would look more like an egg, and if you wanted an eggy skillet, your wife or son
would have to feed it to you. And you'd have to trust them when you say
is there egg in this skillet? And they would say of course all skillets have
eggs and that to me has been the biggest takeaway. They don't. They don't, but the
biggest takeaway for me is all eggs have skillets. Is all, well, not all eggs have skillets.
In fact, I would say very few eggs have skillets in terms of owning them.
Unless they are skilleted.
If they're skilleted, which is skilled at skillets,
if they're skilleted, then an egg would have a skillet.
I get scared at Halloween because of all the skillets, skilletons.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yeah, yes, yes.
Skilletons are terrifying at Halloween, mostly because they dress up like ghosts.
Now, because a skeleton is someone's an egg skill time right? Yeah I mean we could. I was going
to talk about the thing, the biggest lesson. Oh yeah go for it. The biggest takeaway for
this from me, which will also be my lunch, is skill it. Yeah because you have and I will
take it away. Because you have a skill at music producing.
That is fucking beautiful. Hit it.
All eggs have skillets.
Tom's an egg man. Tom's an egg man. Skillets in eggs, all eggs have skillets man
Eggs are the skillet man, eggs are the skillet man
Eggs are the skillet man
If I got no hands, no eyes, I gotta get my friends to use life, yes I do
And I gotta get my wife to feed me eggs from a skillet
All skillets have eggs
Tom loves parties at his house serving skillets
Serving eggy skillets as the catering
He's got no hands, no eyes
Having parties at his house every day
Making music with his friends telling them
It's okay, eggs, all eggs have skillets
And there it was.
There was.
I, I know this is not in relation to what we have been doing.
And I'd like to end the podcast on this, but we may have found a new theme song.
Yeah.
For the Auntie Donna podcast.
I think all skillets have eggs.
Oh right, I understand Greg, but what do you think of the song?
I think the new theme song should be all skillets have eggs.
Well let's take it to a vote.
All in favour?
Say aye.
But you have to go through and figure out where in the lineage of the... you have to
do that.
We've got people at listener to do that.
Lindsay, you're on top of it.
Alright, bye!
You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast.
Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com.
See you next week!