Aunty Donna Podcast - An Arctic Circle RPG Feat. Matthew Jackson from Trope RPG
Episode Date: June 25, 2024Scientist Juliane Moore (Zach) and security guard Broden Kelly (Broden) find themselves on a helicopter flying into their base in the Artic Circle with their colleague Ruth. LINKS Matthew Jackson... is in our latest series 'Trope'. Check it out here https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqS09O_7fr09Okw496ZR5F8MxocJ2paqz Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/ CREDITS Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno Guest: Matthew Jackson Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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A listener production.
Hello, everyone. It's Zach here from Aunty Donna.
We have a very exciting, very different podcast this week.
We have Matthew Jackson in from Trope RPG.
That is the role playing game series that you can watch right now on Grouse
House, our YouTube channel.
He has come in and he has got Broden and Zach in to
do a very fun role-playing game. It's a big long episode. It's hilarious and
genuinely the best time that Zach and Broden have ever had doing it.
Truly.
If you want to watch the podcast you can check it out at the Auntie Donna Club dot com or of course you can watch Trope RPG on Grouse House
otherwise please enjoy this very fun podcast.
Welcome to the Auntiety Donna podcast.
Today is a very special and different podcast.
First, none of this 30 minute shit.
That's the 30 minute podcast has gone the way of the dodo.
For this week.
Well, yeah, the 30 minute podcast is what's something that was we thought was extinct
for a little amount of time.
Oh, like what?
That a bird, a bird, like there's that bird that I think they thought was extinct and
then it wasn't.
So the 30 minute podcast has gone the way of that bird and soon to be rediscovered in
a week's time.
But then brief, then extinct again, most likely.
Yes, that's right, Mark.
Well, at some point, yeah, the whole podcast will probably go. I was going to say, a great analogy for it would be sketch comedy.
When we kind of started in 2012, they're like, sketch is dead.
That format is dead.
Little did we know around the corner would be apps and platforms that were like,
hey, do little funny videos and scenes that would go for about a minute.
Yeah.
And that is probably, there's more sketch now done maybe than in the 70s or 80s.
And also sometimes our podcasts go for 40 minutes.
The 30 minute thing is more of an internal sort of guide.
Yeah.
So I'm more talking to myself when I say, you fuck you.
Some people listening will be like, but some podcasts go for 40, 48.
Some go for an hour.
42, some go for an hour.
Anyway, this one will is officially going for an hour.
So forget that hour, half hour shit.
Forget that Mark shit.
Yeah, Mark's also gone.
But he, he wanted us, he sent, he refused to come in today because he wanted to
teach us a lesson about a certain type of game because we've done Dungeons and Dragons with him on our
Patreon and he said we don't take it seriously and we're dogs.
Yeah he called us dogs he said he said you boys need to learn a few lessons in
role-playing games before I'll ever role-play with you again. Because Trope
is on our Grouse House channel at the moment, which is a RPG.
Is that right?
Role-playing game, yeah.
TROPE.
Why don't we introduce our guests to talk about TROPE.
Now a lot of you have probably already been watching TROPE.
It's been coming out for the last few weeks.
It's an RPG.
On Grouse House, the YouTube channel Grouse House.
But we've got a guest here.
Matthew Jackson.
Yes.
Now, thank you for coming in.
You are the star of Trope on our Grouse House.
I mean, that's one way to look at it.
I think it's a, I have the most labour role on that show in terms of-
Right, laborious.
Yeah, in terms of trying to keep the world existing.
Okay.
And that's what I'm gonna be doing here.
We're gonna play.
Thank you for coming in.
Do you wanna tell us a little bit about Trope?
Yeah, I'll tell you about Trope.
So Trope RPG is a show, a role playing game show
where we play through your favourite movie genres.
So the first one we did was a classic teen horror.
I mean, honestly, not that far off.
And yeah, so we're going to be doing that today.
We're also going to play through a horror.
And for people who don't know anything about role-playing games,
all that means is it's like, I sort of talk about it like it's structured improv
where like one person can say, no, stop doing that.
And you have dice there for whenever there's something that involves a little bit
of skill or luck and that guides the story.
Matthew, look, we're both, we love games, Zach and I.
I love movies.
You love the game of movies.
Yeah.
My favourite video game is the cinema.
And my favourite game is-
It's not a game.
It's not interactive at all, no.
Do you imagine you're having some influence?
No, I just sit back and enjoy it.
And that's how I play RPGs as well.
Well, yeah, great.
Just really de-energised.
Can't wait to see where this goes.
I don't know if you do watch it that way.
I was sitting next to you for Interstellar and you would go,
You gotta go to outer space now.
Yeah, I pause it, I pause it. Yeah, I roll a dice and I go
I actually don't know what the gravity means
Yeah, stay with the daughter and then I turn it on and then it and then he doesn't and I go well
This doesn't fucking work. I have such great news for you. Yeah, cuz you get to do what you want
You can stay with the daughter. Oh my God.
But you've said for years you hate RPG, but you-
I've never said I hate RPG.
I often say I would love to do more RPG.
What I say is I would love to do RPG without a microphone in front of my face.
Right.
I've never done it for fun with friends.
Well, this is the first time for it.
No, this is again for fun.
Yeah. With friends. Well this is the first time for it. No, this is again for fun. Yeah.
With friends.
Well thank you.
But there is a microphone in front of my face and I feel an obligation to be funny.
And I would love to just play an RPG where I can just be like, yeah I'm a fucking little
gremlin and I'm gonna fucking go and fuck that shit up, you know?
Why don't you do that in this one?
Let's start.
I gotta be a little bit funny.
No, but you can be a little gremlin.
That's fair.
I can, I can fully bear the burden of being hilarious for a while.
If you like.
I'm so excited.
Like bring up wacky stuff.
But is this, is, but we may, we may be bad.
But also, Matthew, you walk in here with your RPG.
And you come at us. And you come at us and you point your finger at us and say, play this game.
Yep.
This is an audio medium.
Will this work?
I'd say it classically works very well.
Oh, okay.
Right.
Okay.
Sorry about all that stuff.
I say for anyone who's a fan of RPGs, if you listen to this episode and we're really
bad at it, we should
say that we're not in trope. Mark is in trope, Mishwitrup is in trope.
Harry June, I'm in trope.
And Patratus.
Some great folks in trope. Friends of the podcast are in trope. Broden's not in trope.
Zach's not in trope. I'm thinking of this as an audition for a future season of trope if that happens.
So I'm going to fucking deliver.
Oh, can I say something sincerely? Our editor, Jim, who does all our editing,
he edited trope and he was like, this is the fucking best thing I've ever seen. He loved it
so much. I was like, the amount of content you've made that I'm in, that you've edited,
is not as good as this. He went, no. And I said, fuck you, Jim.
That's really, that's an awful interaction.
So Jim Nohlinga works for us.
Wow.
It was the same, he's an incredible editor.
Yeah.
But he had that awful-
Like he spoke ill of Broden.
Yeah.
And Broden, we always have to put Broden's ego first.
Yeah, calm down, bro.
I'll keep that in mind.
How about we start playing?
We should start playing.
Let's do it.
Have I plugged trope enough?
Yes, yeah, very good.
Great.
Trope. Go watch Trope on the Grouse House.
Too much now. The cup is filthed over.
The cup is filthed.
The cup is filthed.
So with that in your mind.
So, you are on a helicopter.
It is a blizzard.
I love this already.
Just an absolute whiteout.
You're in the back of it, just tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk
In the front of the helicopter, you can see, just sort of leaning around, turning back
to you, is a woman that you've worked with for many years on many other Arctic research
bases.
She leans back, her name is Ruth, she looks back at you and she goes, don't worry, we're almost going to be touching down
just a few more minutes.
Jesus, I'm there.
As you-
Is she redhead?
She is a redhead.
That's incredible.
I saw Ruth Cracknell from Mother and Son.
I see, she looks a bit like Scully for me.
Oh yeah, can it be?
Like Mulder and Scully.
But Ruth Cracknell as Mulder and Scully. These are amazing descriptions.
As you're, yeah, that's all right.
Oh, it feels like you've had some like...
Mark, you're also an asshole.
You've really been hurt.
You just want to make some small addition to the world.
You're like, is this fine?
You haven't called us fuckheads.
Well, as we like look at the back of the helicopter
where you're both sitting, I'd like to ask you,
Brian, what do we see?
Are we in the Arctic?
You're in the Arctic.
You've yet to arrive at a research base.
I can see whatever I want.
Whatever you wanna look like.
Snow.
Snow.
What do you look like?
Oh.
But you do see snow.
Okay, I look like snow.
You look like snow, just a complete,
sort of one of those ghillie suits
that's just white for an arctic situation.
Yes.
That does make sense because you are the security guy.
Yeah.
I want to blend in.
Yeah.
Much like a polar bear.
Much like a polar bear.
In fact-
Your nemesis on the base.
Yeah.
In fact, I have a picture of a polar bear in my pocket to remind me of-
No one can see it, but you know it.
Yeah, yeah.
And what in the like, is it just you,
is it very similar, very similar looking to you
in the like, I imagine just the little window of the like,
cause you're both in like such big like thermal gear,
just the little window of your face.
Is it the same as you or is it a different man?
Yeah, it's Broden Kelly.
It's Broden Kelly.
Yeah, it's snow, just, and not, and formless.
Yeah.
So no, you can't see like head, shoulders.
Broden Kelly, you right now at your age
or a little bit older, a little bit younger?
34, so me last year.
Last year, last year, cool.
Yeah.
This was you last year.
Yeah.
This all happened in your life.
Yeah.
And great.
And I'm formless.
And you're formless.
But with a face.
With just a very big parka.
So in snow, it just looks like my face hovering around.
All this snow's gotten in the helicopter.
Can I add something to that?
Please, please, please.
I think the snow is like a formless pile of snow, but where it hits his face, it really
does just look like a Styrofoam costume.
Yeah.
It's a real cheap, it's a cheap snow kit.
But not, not anywhere else.
Everywhere else it looks like real formless snow, but just up the face.
It's like you got a styrofoam plate and you cut it out and you embedded it.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
So sitting across that in the helicopter as it's like shaking, turbulent,
there's it outside.
Zach, what does your character look like?
I look like a young Julianne Moore.
Wonderful.
Wonderful.
What's that?
In anything?
I'm thinking mid-90s, so like around about sort of Magnolia, Safe Time.
As the actor?
Like going to the premiere of these?
No, no.
So this is the actress playing my character is Julianne Moore.
She's young, she's beautiful, but bookish too, like her
father before her, who was a great scientist. Because in movies, the women scientists always
do it because their dad was a scientist.
Yeah, yeah. Jeans?
Yeah, what are you wearing?
I'm wearing khaki slacks, and I'm wearing a large tucked in linen shirt. Um, freezing, freezing, opposite a pile of snow in an open helicopter blizzard.
It certainly shows an unpreparedness for the Arctic winter.
Everyone here is dressed so practically, except for the guy who's made of snow.
But me, I just look like a young woman who has never stepped out of the university campus.
What's her name?
What's your character?
My name is Julianne Moore.
Julianne Moore.
Wonderful.
Cool.
Julianne Moore, can I get you to make a survival roll for me?
Yeah.
So I need you to, you've got, you've got a dice that can roll up to a four here.
Okay.
So that I'm going to tell you that the check to withstand frost
bite is going to be a five. Now you can actually get that because if you roll a
four on that die you get to roll it again at it. Let's see so it's a five to
avoid getting frostbite in the helicopter over. That's a three. So you
can see that the tip of your nose it's not actual frostbite yet it's like
frostnip you know it gets like really red. It's not blackened. But you are doing poorly.
Oh no, I'm poorly.
That explains why you didn't wear the right clothes.
Yeah. It shows a lack of experience. I'm someone who has been living in their mind. I don't
have real world life experience yet.
Well, can I ask, what's your science? What science do you study? I work in the science of speculative, speculative, speculative.
So what I am is I've got a PhD in both physics and biology.
Physics biology, yeah.
And I work largely in speculative, uh, extraterrestrial, uh, science.
That makes, that makes perfect sense.
Where you a book for this?
Yeah.
Because, uh, so it's the, the base that you're being sent to is owned and you
don't have to remember any of this because you just know it.
Yeah.
Um, the base you're being sent to is called, uh, the Eurydice Arctic Base.
It is owned by the Cargile Foundation, which has sent you specifically, like you two have worked together many times over the last years on different bases excavating
archaeological dig sites all over the Arctic.
And I've been insisting, I've been insisting, I've said, there's evidence here and everyone
thought I'm a quack like my father. And they're like, you shouldn't.
What's your father's name?
Julian Moore. Julian Moore.
And everyone said, you know, he lost his mind and you're such a bright young lady.
You should do something else.
And I'm like, no, I have to finish his work.
And I'm so excited about this space.
Amazing.
So we're going to as, as Ruth brings you down for a landing,
and it's shopping.
Can I just ask you, does it matter what uni I went to?
OK, well tell me a little bit about your security background.
I went to the University of Ballarat Arts Academy.
Because you are a Freda Academy.
Yeah, I went to acting school.
Yeah.
How did you book this gig as the first in 2022?
One of the big things you learn at acting school
is say yes to everything.
And someone said, do you want to be a, you want to go to Antarctica?
Yeah.
And I said, yes.
Yeah, great.
That's all.
Please continue.
And then you fell into some snow.
Yeah.
And now I got the form of snow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great.
So you land, you unload into this research base.
There's about seven other people who work here.
Is Ruth with us?
Ruth is with you.
She's sort of like taking stuff off of the helicopter and she says,
don't let me slow you down. If you just want to go inside and get set up, you can go and
do that.
Thank you, Ruth Cracknell.
Yeah. And I say, and thanks for last night, Ruth, but we don't, we won't dig into that.
Yep.
We won't dig into that.
Why are you bringing this up here?
Ruth, let it go.
It's fine.
No, but you...
Ruth, I thought we...
Now he knows.
Julianne, your nose is falling off your face.
I could fucking go a jacket, hey.
Just on the ground, arctic winds, this loose linen shirt.
Get inside.
I'm wearing a singlet.
All right, you go inside. You'm wearing a singlet. All right.
You go inside.
You actually, we're going to flash forward.
Two weeks pass on this research base.
So like your speculative biology.
An Olympics passes outside.
You're not able to watch it because the Wi-Fi here is spotty.
Yeah.
But two weeks passes and you get a a call during the time where you would
not be working.
You're just, it's like almost like your leisure time.
You're in one of the common areas of the research base.
Uh, there's not a ton to do.
There's like old DVDs that you've been burning through.
Um, and you get a pager cause they use pages here just because it has like slightly more
reliability for a number that just calls both of you to the dig site.
Okay.
And apparently it's an emergency.
You go?
Yeah.
So both of you, what are you wearing?
This time, this time I'm wearing like full Arctic gear.
Full Arctic gear.
You've got bandages.
I've learned my lesson.
I learned my lesson.
But they look cute.
It's like a little B&A kind of thing. The doctor's, I look good doctor.
The doctor you actually know is a man called Dougal Thompson.
And Dougal insisted, he's like, this happened in the, in that interim two weeks.
He's like, please, you've got, you've got to wear more than just, than just this.
And please, I know you keep taking the gauze off your nose to put on a plaster and
it's just not working. I say all right Dr. Google. Are you okay? Yeah I mean I think the frost
fright hit my brain a little but I'm all right mate. Oh you sweet poor thing Julianne Moore.
Sorry Dr. MacGoogle. If you weren't the best in your field, I'd advocate for you to go home, but I know that
this whole expedition needs you.
Yeah, I reckon so too, Dr. MacGoogle.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Yep, she's good.
And so we cut to you on your snowmobiles heading to the dig site.
You both have individual snowmobiles.
Sick.
As you're going there.
Can you give me, just as a, as Broden, as your character Broden, can you give me a survival check?
This is going to be just an eight.
Yeah.
So roll that red die.
Yeah.
You have great survival, so this should not be hard.
Four.
Okay, so you...
I'm dying.
I think it's, as you're sort of in the lead, you're going over some snow drifts and you
crash the snowmobile into the side of a snow drift.
You don't actually completely trash the vehicle, but you get out, you notice that this kind
of sucks because the cold's really gotten into some of the fuel systems in it.
You're able to excavate it out and you get to the dig site.
Great. But I've got diabetes as well.
But you've also gained diabetes.
Yeah.
It was just sugary drinks too much in my past, in my 34 years on the surface.
And Dr. Google was telling you, you go for the no sugar option.
Yeah, and I have now, I've changed the way I'm on the Ozempic, you know, it's all going well.
You still shouldn't be chugging the Ozempic in the Arctic.
Yeah, exactly.
The weight is good in the, you know...
Yeah, yeah.
You get to the dig site.
So this is sort of a large ice cavern,
and something immediately strikes you both as odd,
which is just like steam is rising out from out of it.
Like it looks like incredibly hot.
This strikes me as odd that there's steam coming out of it.
Yeah. I could go full strength Fanta right now. out of it. Like it looks like incredibly hot. This strikes me as odd that there's steam coming out of it.
Yeah, that's how I could go full strength Fanta right now.
I go, just so you know everyone, I'm a scientist and there shouldn't be steam coming out of it.
You're just talking to just him, he's the only one standing next to you.
What are you doing?
Brayden, I just need you to know.
What are you doing?
I know you're just a security guy made mostly out of snow, but I'm a scientist and there
shouldn't be steam down there.
Also, I should say if you ever want to make, electively make a role, you can do that.
Like for example, if like you want to be like, why is the steam coming out?
If you don't care, don't worry about it.
Could I find out why there's steam coming out?
Yeah, make a science role.
I can say, this is is gonna be just a five.
Okay. So I do some science to find out why the steam came out.
Twelve. Twelve. Do you say that out loud? I just want to let everybody know.
But do some science. It's weird, Steve's going, I'm gonna do some science.
I'm gonna do some science now and I do it. Yeah. What does that look like?
I get out some test tubes. Unfortunately, I have to take off my jacket I do it. Yeah, what does that look like? I get out some test tubes.
Unfortunately, I have to take off my jacket to do it.
Oh no.
Why?
Because to catch the steam.
Cool.
Yeah, you catch steam, you're funneling it into it.
You determine it is, well actually with a 12, you determine the way that the water coalesces
on the inside, that this is salt water steam, salt water vapor.
And you know from your specific field as both a physicist
and a speculative extraterrestrial biologist,
this is the exact signs of a potential buried extraterrestrial. The way you put that back on track was incredible.
Yeah, this is good.
Yeah.
This is really impressive.
Do you head further in?
We got aliens directing.
Should I just check how I'm doing with my jacket off?
Yeah, do it.
It's going to be a five again.
He's rolling.
That's a lot.
Is she going to die?
She's going to die.
You can, I would tell you, you can and will die in this game
Okay, there are the other things that will have like you it's not like D&D where it's like I've got to keep you
alive for the whole thing. So you your frost your frost
It's still red
But I'm telling you now that if you remain if you have one more instance of this
It's a good chance you will lose the front of your nose and cheeks when you need that for your acting
No, I'm not I'm played by Julian
Like Nick Cage in the unbearable weight of a massive talent kind of thing no because Nick Cage is playing Nick Cage the actor
I I'm a character named Julianne Moore No, because Nick Cage is playing Nick Cage, the actor.
I'm a character named Julianne Moore, who's a scientist, physicist and biologist.
Played by Julianne Moore.
The name is just a coincidence.
Okay, great.
Sprinting out of this cave, exasperated, you see Dr. Dougal.
He looks like his, you can tell his like hat and some of his like
thermals. He's got like one glove on. He comes out and he goes, Oh my God, there was a geothermal
explosion when we excavated the-
Are you from Edinburgh?
Yeah, I'm from Edinburgh.
Yeah, we should do the show show.
Brennan, shut up man. I'm a scientist. I need to know what he's about to say.
Luke died and Ruth, she's got crushed by some ice and needs some help lifting it off her.
Whereabouts in Edinburgh?
Guys, I can't, I can talk to you about my upbringing later.
Okay.
Okay.
Because we did four Edinburgh's.
Yeah.
I did.
Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, I mean, I studied at Edinburgh University for a short time.
I'm from South East Edinburgh.
I wouldn't, you know, honestly, I spent most of my time in, in, in the, like, just near
the university.
You're dying of frostbite.
You need to put your coat back on.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry, everyone's dead.
Sorry.
Not everyone, just Lucas.
He was there, he was the site engineer, but Ruth, she's been crushed.
She needs some help.
And she, oh, I thought she was... Ruth's but Ruth, she's been crushed, she needs some help and she-
Ruth's been crushed!
Ruth's been crushed!
Guys, I think this is the time to tell you, Ruth is my lover.
Is she crushed to death?
She's not dead, but she's severely injured and you need help loading it.
She can go in one of your snowmobiles because the cargo sled's already loaded up with the
specimen.
Dr. Dougal, would it not be Ruth's been
cruised on your accent? Are you commenting how I should speak from my own accent?
I haven't lived there for like 14 years. But I'm just saying Scottish people.
Crushed sounds right. This is the best Scottish accent I've ever heard.
He slaps you in the face. Oh, sorry, I'm so cold.
And he goes, stop, Albert, we need help.
I think your security officer, do you have, you can help me administer first aid.
Yes, I can.
Do I roll for something?
Oh yeah, so you go in and you see that Ruth is there and you see just essentially.
She's been cruised.
She's been cruised.
There's a large slab of ice that's fallen from the ceiling. You can see loaded up onto essentially a much bigger snowmobile
with like a sled tray at the back of it is a,
what appears to be like a wooly mammoth,
but with two heads.
Double head of wooly mammoth.
And you can see like the trunk is sort of slopped over the side.
And also it is incredibly warm in here. Like it feels and you can see a large pit
in the center of the room that is just steaming which you can only assume where it was where this
mammoth was excavated from and yeah there's a slab of ice over Ruth and she is like struggling to
push it off. And then I say oh my god Ruth's been crushed. I just told you that! Can you please help me lift it?
Can you understand a word this guy's saying?
Oh my god, I need you to come and help me lift it, otherwise I'm gonna fucking slap the
Tuzzi!
I understand.
He needs my brawn and muscle to lift off this slab.
Oh wow, yeah.
Is that right?
I...
I...
Or you?
Yes, that means yes in Scottish.
He starts to lift.
Me?
No, the slab of ice. Okay, yeah. I lift the the slab. He sort of beckons you to join him.
Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. You help as well. Absolutely. I love Ruth. She's my lover.
Cool. This is gonna be, this is gonna be either, do you want to try and do this just like pure brawn or do you?
You don't have to. Yeah, Broden with the big strong muscles. Yes. Broden with the big strong muscles. If you're gonna just do it with brawn
then it's going to be like a 12.
I'm going to try and use my science skills to figure out how to melt the ice using the
steam.
Okay.
Okay.
That's going to be to melt the ice using the steam and you use your science on this.
That's probably going to be a 16.
So like incredibly difficult.
Yeah.
So both of you please roll.
And I use the red one?
Yep.
Okay.
I'm rolling for big strong muscles.
I got a 15.
You got a 15.
Easy.
I'm rolling.
I got a 13.
Cool.
As you sort of tried to start, like you take up your jacket and just start
navigating the steam.
But it's warm in here.
It's warm in here.
Actually I'm warming up.
I feel good.
I would say the swift warming of your extremities is actually causing more vascular damage to
your face.
And it very quickly just becomes, you know, like very old men that have been drinking
up for a long time.
Yeah, you've got a wine nose.
You've got an immediate wine nose and cheeks, and it doesn't help.
You've got an old wine nose.
And Broden, you get under there. you're lifting and you just absolutely tank this.
Well, tell me, tell me how...
Tank isn't good or tank isn't...
Tank isn't good.
Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
Destroy this house.
I go, huh.
And it just lifts up and Dougal's able to pull Ruth out and she immediately passes.
Just for clarity, I'm still wearing the formless snow thing.
So it's me,
I just kind of walk up to it and go, ah, and it lifts up like you're commanding the ice. Yeah,
ice man. It's like ah, imagine like a cloud like ah, and I lift it up. Yeah, it's good.
It's great. This is actually an expert technique for fighting polar bears, because polar bears are
the main reason you're here.
Yeah.
And the main reason you have like a flare gun,
there's a gun at the main base.
Oh, great.
Is to deter, and when you are just a big pile of snow.
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
I look like snow.
He actually did like experimental surgeries
to replace most of his body with snow.
Yeah, so for this exact purpose.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did. And I got diabetes.
The difficulty was that the snow was too sugary.
Well, they said to him though, like, you know, if you snow, you're not going to have like
a liver.
You're not going to have any way to process that sugar.
Yeah.
So you've got to lay off the Fanta's, man.
He's just a big snow coat with syrup.
But I couldn't.
Yeah, yeah.
And now when he drinks Fanta, he becomes a snow coat.
And then I try to lick him up.
Oh, it gets cold. It gets cold. Yeah, yeah. And now when he drinks Fanta, he becomes a snowcoat. Oh great.
And then I try to lick him up.
Oh, it gets cold.
It gets lonely.
Can I roll for trying to lick up Broden's snowcoat?
He doesn't have the Fanta yet.
Oh, okay.
When I do get the Fanta.
There's a Fanta back at the base.
Oh great.
That's for sure.
Keep it outside I bet.
You don't put it in the fridge.
Oh, it gets, it would be frozen instantly.
Yeah.
If you put it outside it would get frozen. Yeah, then, yeah, no, you keep it in the fridge. Oh, it gets, it would be frozen instantly. Yeah. If you put it outside, it would get frozen.
Yeah, then, yeah, no, you keep it in the fridge.
Are you frozen?
Cause this isn't even a fantasy world.
This is just the world.
Yeah.
If you put a fan through outside in Antarctica, it would go frozen.
It's like a children's performer.
Got hired.
Security.
Yeah.
So, Dougal quickly gets Ruth up onto one of your snowmobiles.
She's unconscious.
She's sort of able to be put on the back.
I assume he chooses to put her on the back of your snowmobile.
Because I've revealed to be a lover.
Because you've revealed to be a lover.
He sort of, he comes over to you and goes, look, I've got a lot of equipment in the cargo
machine, so I was going to bring it over to
the station.
Do you think you could guide the way?
And I check with Broden what the Scottish man just said, because I don't really understand
Scottish too well.
I think we've had many conversations and you called me Dr. Google earlier.
Exactly.
Point in case of point.
Doesn't know your name.
But you understood you were responding to me earlier.
Yeah, I was faking it.
You were, even now you're just taking swings.
I'm just guessing that you're probably talking about our earlier conversations.
You're timing it really well though.
Yeah, well, you know, you do a little upward inflection.
But nothing's going, nothing's going awry.
We're having an extended conversation.
You seem to understand everything I'm saying.
All right, I'll wear my jacket next time.
Can you make a charm roll? The charm roll is a four and this is to convince him that
you don't understand him at all.
Okay. Six.
Six.
Wow. That's really lucky that you just have guessed every single thing.
Okay.
Can you tell...
Even that, that was, I guess that's applicable
in a lot of scenarios.
Can you tell Julian that we need to head back
to the station?
Yeah, he said, I love Haggis.
I can understand you.
Yeah.
I know you're not translating correctly. There's people, I've understand you. I know you're not translating correctly.
There's people dying here.
We've got to get these people back to the station after we swing by some quick haggis.
You see like a shift in the mammoth on the sled.
One of the legs moves and the trunk comes across and everybody startles.
I think it might just be defrosting.
Mmm, bullshit.
And I say I think it might just be defrosting.
Yeah, he said that.
I would know!
Dr. Dougal said that.
Well, she doesn't know that.
Why are you going out of her?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to keep you.
I'm finding it hard because you guys aren't talking. Yeah.
So it's hard for me to be this kind of conduit for this.
You see like a...
Oh, it's alive.
Jesus.
As the mount lifts up with both of its heads and it just, it is moving with like a strange,
almost like it is being puppeteered as its limbs are pulled and it just takes a heaving step which in
this moment you're all aghast as the dead body of your co-worker, Luke,
Luke Bennett the engineer, steps over and it just collapses on top of his body
and it seems to just like splay out. He was already dead, Gordon.
Yeah.
And as it sort of splays out, you see like weird shapes
from under this man's skin, like outside of the fur.
Almost as if there is now a person trapped inside it.
You see hands pushing against the inside of the skin.
Oh my God.
Viscera.
Oh.
You hear Doogal go, ah!
And he screams and he sprints to,
it looks like he's sprinting to one of your snowmobiles.
And say, in fact, he's sprinting to your snowmobile
because he doesn't have a personal.
Yeah.
In a moment of cowardice.
Yeah, fair enough.
What are you two doing?
I think we have to try to, for our own safety,
I think we have to kill, try to kill Dr McUigle.
Why?
No, explain this.
He's going to, I've seen this plenty of times at the universities, when trying to get grants.
Trying to get grants?
Well, I don't have a lot of real world experience.
Yeah.
What I'm seeing right now is a man afraid for his life.
And I think what he's going to try and do is he's going to try and steal your snowmobile.
If he steals your snowmobile, we're trapped here with this fucking thing.
You have two snowmobiles and a cargo vehicle.
This movie is a sort of-
Yeah, no, sorry.
And this movie is 10 minutes in.
This movie, it's a story about how university institutions are a sham and we need to deconstruct
them and relook at the way we educate people.
Everything you said was like an internal monologue as Dougal's sprinting through all the cuggers
and you're like, this really reminds me of Grant's situation.
I think I need to kill this man.
Yeah.
And I go, you know what?
Now that I think about it, there are three vehicles.
Even if he steals your one, I don't think we need to kill him.
Um, could I, what should I do?
You do whatever you want to do.
I don't tell, that's not my job.
I've expressed my opinion.
I don't have the means to kill him.
You say you must kill him?
I don't have the means to kill him.
You're the security guy.
I think you should kill him.
What feels right in your big snow snow?
I say, huh, you fancy hoity-toity university types behind a desk?
You don't know and I-
He's gone.
He's gone.
You spoke for that long.
You spoke for that long.
He's like, in that time he-
But I still have a point to finish.
What you people don't get working in these, stuck in these unis, you don't know real life shit.
Yeah, but I was the one...
Fucking right in Poland.
I told you that...
There's this massive viscera behind you.
I've been saying that there was something going on here for years.
We write a fucking thesis about it, you know what I mean?
Like, you've got to get out there.
I need you both to make survival checks.
Okay, sure.
This mammoth amalgam sort of just rolls.
Like, it's almost like there are no bones in it anymore
as you see like the heads just lolling over
and almost like a pseudopod of hairy, wooly flesh
comes out to like strike at both of you.
Oh, goodness.
So the role for this you have to beat.
It's moving, it seems to be moving very slow. Like it's waking up. So it's only a two. Okay. Jesus. So the rule for this, you have to beat, it seems to be moving very slow, like it's waking
up, so it's only a two.
Okay.
Okay.
13 for me.
Two.
Two.
So you definitely, you're able to like, it comes at you, you grab it.
I use my, well I don't have arms, but you know what I mean.
You don't grab it, but you look at it and go, ah!
And you flick it with your snow.
It stops a moment before the snow.
You it's a lot more risky.
Like it gets a wrap around your leg, it starts to drag you and you're able to kick it away.
I'm kicking with my other leg.
And you managed to get onto your snowmobiles.
Oh, actually, sorry.
Are you trying to run now or are you trying to fight this thing?
Also, I should point you, you do have a small, I've given you some suggestions of things
that you have on you.
Yeah, I have the rifle cabinet.
You know where the rifle cabinet is.
You have a flare gun on you.
I have my flare gun.
I have a sample fridge key card and I have an iPad, controls the base's temperature and
light.
Yes.
You take a moment to both look.
I make the decision to escape.
But before I do, I think I should at least get the temperature, I should get the base
warming up.
You start, you get on the snowmobile, you take out your iPad, you swipe up the, you
have to take off your gloves.
Yeah, take off my gloves.
Please make a cold check for me.
So that's, this is going to be a four you have to beat.
Survival because my gloves are off.
Because your gloves are off.
A normal person wouldn't have to do this, but you get a little frost nip in the fingers.
They're hard to move.
You're an oaf.
You're stuck behind these desks at universities.
I know physics, I know biology, I know that chances that this is an alien life form, I
don't know how to keep away from frostbite. You do succeed it is warm it's gonna be slightly warm.
I know how to treat hypothermia. Yeah you do. That's good anyway I use my muscle.
You use your muscle? Tell me now. Go to the gym. There's a gym back at the base.
Yeah well yeah I have the password to security cameras and door overrides as well.
Yes.
But what it was...
You want to run or you want to fight?
No, I'm going to fight them with my flare gun.
Cool. Um, yeah.
But can I put some snow in the...
How can I weaponize this flare gun?
It's just going to bounce off it.
In movies, when people shoot flare guns at shit, it kind of just goes, they go, ah! Well I'll tell you what,
how about you roll. If you get over an eight it's gonna be successful. And kill
something. Yeah and or maybe gonna, maybe gonna, if you get over a 12 it's, I'll
tell you how you modify it. Super effective. Like a hyper beam for Squirtle. Like a hyper beam for Squirtle.
Alright, I'm rolling and I got a 16.
16, oh nice.
I'll say what you do in an act of heroics, thinking about Squirtle and his hyper beam,
you know that just to the size comparisons, you're going to have to get a lot closer.
You vault on top of this mammoth creature.
Yeah, nice.
And in one of the heads as its tusk comes up to try and gore it, you dodge
it, you grab the tusks, you put the flare gun, you don't have head to go, ah.
Yeah.
You got like the shadows of hands.
What is the truth? You're like, I know an alien when I see it. This levitating man with
you, it's your closest work friend.
You flare gun into its mouth. It's just my face.
Just your face is really.
A flare gun appears on the outside of the snow.
It jams into the mouth of this mammoth.
It goes off.
And not only does it hurt this creature massively,
you see a fire start to like lick up.
While you're on top of this mammoth, it is incredibly warm.
It is incredibly hot.
Yeah.
This act as it is like screeching, this horrible screech, you're able to roll off, jump on the back
of the snowmobile or I guess get into the cargo skid, one of the snowmobiles gone and you've got
Ruth on the back of yours and you're able to get back to the base. You hear it in pursuit,
it is a constant like whiteout outside, so you're following the guide ropes as you're like snowmobiling there.
Ah, come out.
Yep.
The mammoth is full of stuff, hands coming out of it, yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's being puppeteered by shit that's inside, but we don't know what's in it.
Well, it feels like, yeah, it's almost like it's reforming internally.
Because it rolled onto the person and now there's person-ness in it.
Well, I'll tell you, you make a science check.
Make a science of, this is gonna be an eight.
Okay.
So you have to roll really high for it.
Two. That's a two.
Yeah, you're like trying to think back
at your Ballarat degree of acting.
It reminds me of movement class in year one.
Well, the movement class actually did teach you,
there's like an evolution of movement going on inside its body.
Like, it almost seems like characters going from the fetal position,
and then like, it doesn't feel like the hands on the inside are like trying to come at you.
Almost like they're testing their movement, like trying to warm up.
It's finding, it's learning a new kind of physicality. 100%.
Fuck this is so fucking cool man. Is it alien? I want to do RPGs more.
You are almost so, you're so sure it's alien. Is it alien?
I'll get you, do you say that out loud? Yeah.
Can I? You yelled out, yeah make a sound.
Yeah can I just say one thing, I'm like a naughty boy that's badly influenced. I know a lot of
people listening right now think, oh Zach wouldn't be good at RPGs. If Brodom wasn't around I'm like a naughty boy that's badly influenced I know a lot of people listening right now think oh Zach wouldn't be good at RPGs if Brodom
wasn't around I'd be a good boy. Julianne is it alien?
Why did you say that? To what end?
Because I want to play RPGs and I reckon everyone listening wouldn't invite me to the RPG games.
We can play RPGs and I reckon everyone listening wouldn't invite me to their RPG games. We can play RPG games.
Yeah!
We can play.
You're good at it, man.
That like form and shit, that's cool.
Is it an alien?
Is it alien?
Roll a, it's a five for you, a five science.
For science?
And is he gonna tell me if he rolls?
This is what happens when I roll.
Two.
You're in shock right now and you're heavily frostbitten.
You are so sure it's an alien, but there's part of you that is like questioning your reality right now.
Yeah.
You can hear it behind you.
I'm choking.
Like you slowed it down.
My whole life I've been waiting for this moment and I'm choking.
You're choking. You're face to face.
Is it alien? I can't tell you.
Yeah, you yell, is it alien? I'll tell you what, if there's, if some time passes, if
like it takes you 10 minutes to get back to the base, when you get to the front door and you're keying in the codes
and you say it again, you can, you can ask him, you can make him a little roll.
Let's talk about it over some fantas later.
I can tell you without the science roll, you got to lay off the fantas.
Fair enough.
You key in the door code, you can hear it stumbling around in the blizzard, like shaking
the ground.
It's an alien. You can hear it stumbling around in the blizzard like shaking the ground And you get inside
Immediately you're able to like take a breath
You can see Dougal is here
He is like slumped against a wall and he seems to be in like pure like panic attack mode
Oh
Thank God you got back inside. What the fuck was that?
So he just asked what was that and thank god you got back inside.
Thank you Broden.
I'd love to tell you, I'm the scientist here, can I have a think?
Yeah you have a think.
Roll another check, it's going to be a five again.
Come on, five.
Three.
Oh you fucking clipped me.
I should say, this is 20 sided dice's 20- This is a 20 die.
This is a 20 sided die.
I have been so fucking unlucky this game.
You think it is-
I've choked, I've choked again.
Yeah, yeah, you're trying to think.
Um, you think it is, uh, possibly, like, you're, you're struggling to get, like, reason to, to fill your mind.
You need to test, you need to do tests, you need a sample of it to confirm.
Um-
I have a science die. Yep. It looks like it two-sided almost. Can I roll for the answer?
It's got eight. Yeah, you can roll.
I need an eight or something, Harry.
Yeah, you need an eight. For you, you need an eight. That's an eight.
I genuinely rolled eight.
Yeah, yeah. You grab him, or you grab Julianne, sorry. Also, you drag Ruth in with you.
She sort of like slumps on the floor.
Can I slap Google and say, fucking look after Ruth?
100% you can.
That's a charm roll of four to get him to snap out of it.
With your eight, you're like, this is an alien.
Wake up people.
Right.
This is what we've been hunting for.
You've got an eight.
I got an eight on the charm.
You got an eight out of eight.
And so I slap.
You slap him, he goes, Julianne out of eight. And so I slap.
You slap and he goes, oh, Julian, thank you.
And he stands up, he goes over to Ruth, he goes, she's slightly frostbitten, but that's
okay.
It looks like she fainted out there.
And he says, I can go take her to my infirmary.
Can you just make sure that thing doesn't get inside?
Okay, so I say to him, look, you just take her to the infirmary, we're going to make
sure that thing doesn't get inside.
And in the meantime, I want to find out.
We've so synced up.
If you found this out.
Yeah, I wrote, it's an, it's an alien.
It is?
You, you know, you, cause you've picked up a lot of science from just being.
From Drugs. From drama school.
He's so smart.
I'm thinking too much.
You're right.
I'm like, I've got to do tests.
I've got to get a sample.
I'll do a bit of a Bruce Willis.
When will you book types learn that this is aliens?
I know it from my days at drama school.
Yeah, I love that.
Wait, you went to drama school?
Yeah, I went to Ballarat.
I thought you were a security officer.
Yeah, well, when you- Ross Hall told me at acting school that you gotta be, you gotta
do lots of different jobs.
Tim Roth was a badass.
He walks, he takes Ruth, he just walks away.
To him for every seconds later, like I'm talking like, like, uh, three, two to three seconds later. Um, like he, he walks, he walks out of your, your eyeline from another
corridor down the road, uh, you see Dougal coming towards you.
Um, so like impossible distances.
And he like stumbles.
He goes, Oh, thank God you made it inside.
Oh, fuck off.
I think-
No.
I was watching the guy run straight to the cameras.
I think that maybe it got inside or something.
I don't know.
I got none of that.
He runs towards you.
So doogle, google.
There's two doogles.
Oh, two doogles.
Doogles.
And I say this.
There's two doogles.
I go, wait, I want to, first I want to stop you.
Yeah.
So I say to him, I say to him, you need to do a citizen's arrest on Google.
Is that a charm?
You can't charm each other.
You can try, you can roll it and you can respect each other.
Or should I just try and do a citizen's arrest?
I mean, you could just try and do a citizen's arrest.
Yeah, I think I'm going to try and arrest, I'm going to try and arrest this Google.
Tell me how that goes down.
Do you try and tackle him?
I kick him in the balls.
Roll a survival check for me.
I'll tell you what, you can either do a survival and it's gonna be a four or, because you're
at a distance and you decided very far away that you were going to kick him in the balls
and I feel like at a distance I'd be able to tell if you were down 20 feet away in a corridor
and you had the thought, I need to take him down, I'm going to kick him in the balls.
I'm going to kick you in the balls.
Yeah, I feel like that's widely telegraphed.
So it's a four-episode.
And also I said to him, I was like, I'm making an effort to do a citizens arrest on him.
Before deciding I
would do it myself.
If you want to deceive him, you can try and deceive him and that's going to be a little
bit of a lower role.
Okay.
Yeah.
You've got to tell me how you deceive him.
So what I say is I go, I go, huh, Google, that's funny.
I thought you were looking after my lover in the infirmary.
Maybe I'm mistaken Google
This confirms my suspicion that you're gonna try and
Kick me in the nuts it was my mistake Google
Come here, I've got a secret. Is this going to be a seven for your charm?
I'm going to roll a seven because I've got a secret.
All right.
This is to convince him you do have a secret.
You've got a seven.
Matthew is perplexed.
He looks confused.
He goes, what's your secret?
As he comes closer, legs wide apart,
you take a big swing and you kick him in the nuts.
I kick him in the nuts.
You kick him in the nuts and he just doubles over
to the ground in immediate pain.
Yeah, yeah, we've all been there.
And he goes, why did you do that?
And I say, because I have a suspicion.
Can I say what I suspect?
I suspect that there's some sort of trans morphing going on
with this alien fella.
And I suspect the way the mammoth had hands and shit,
that if I would have kicked it in the balls, it wouldn't have keeled over because its balls
are the same as its eyes, are the same as its hands.
He's got balls for eyes. That tells me
that this being killed over because of the ball kick is the real Google.
And that also tells me
that my lover right now... I think I've got testicular torsion.
I don't know what you're saying.
You've got testicular torsion.
My lover right now is not with the real Google.
And I'm freaking out.
Yep.
What do you do?
I run to the infirmary.
Sure.
Julianne runs.
Broden, what are you doing?
I get to the nearest computer and check the Olympics and see how Australia did.
You run to the nearest computer, you swipe your key card, you go past. There's a couple
other people who are doing their work around.
Yeah. Hello.
You go there, you... What events are you looking at?
I'm just looking at, we've done pretty well on the metal tally.
You've done pretty well.
Per capita, we're killing it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You learn this. I go to bed or no what do I go back and I fight yeah do you want to get
your gun yeah okay you go to the gun cabinet you unlock it yeah take out this
is a big like a big rifle it's got four it's got four shots by default you have
more that you look like a me you know how when a me holds a tennis racket, like from the Nintendo Wii?
Yeah.
You know when the me holds a tennis racket?
That's how you hold the...
It's floating in front of me.
I forgot you were in the snow.
Any kind of holding things.
The camouflage is so good.
You can use that language and just visually we know that it's like...
We know.
There's little snow balls where hands would be, but they're not connected.
But they're not connected.
It's like a Rayman situation.
Yeah, Rayman is a great other reference there.
Cool.
Yeah, you've got a 22 caliber hunting rifle that you've used to put down polar bears and
scare some off.
You run to the infirmary and I assume you're quickly in Toba. There'll be a few moments before you arrive there.
Yeah, I got four bullets.
You got four bullets.
You took the time to check the Olympics results.
Yeah, we do, we're doing good.
I'm just like, that motherfucker better not have been
checking the Olympics results.
He knows I love Olympics.
My lover is in there with, God knows what.
Yeah, you get in there, uh, and, uh, as, as you arrive, uh, you can
see Ruth is stretched out onto a table.
Um, and Google is nowhere to be seen in here.
I thank God the Google is gone.
I say to myself.
Do you believe that, does Julianne Moore believe he's called Google?
Yeah.
She's had too much time behind desks at universities.
She doesn't know what the Google is like.
Also, I didn't understand he introduced himself and I'm not good with the Scottish accent
and I just heard Google.
The door was slightly agile when you came in and as you stepped in, it sort of just, it
naturally, it looked like it was like almost propped open and just out of your rush to
getting in to save your love, you find it close behind you and you hear like a beep
beep as it seems to have automatically closed.
People have key cards and access.
Access is very carefully controlled.
You do not have, you have some sort of access card.
You do not have the access card to get out.
I have the access card to the sample fridge.
You... I'd like you to make a...
Can you just make a survival check for me?
It's just gonna be a three.
Mm-hmm.
I've had a lot of good luck with survival, so that's a two.
Cool.
Nothing happens.
So you're standing in this room and you see your love on this table.
It looks like somebody came in here and immediately collapsed and pushed over a lot of equipment.
You arrive behind.
There's glass so that you can see in here.
Door is locked.
Can you also make that survival check for me?
It's just a two as well.
I actually need a two.
I've got 150-sided dice. I've got 150 sided dice.
You've got 150 sided dice.
This would be crazy if I go up a little.
It'd be bad if you got a two.
I got a two.
God.
This comedically is incredible.
That is insane.
Statistically.
These dice have always gone with the comedic choice.
Yeah, it's great.
So you also see nothing.
As you look in, you see your capable friend, Julianne Moore, caring for Ruth.
Ruth, she looks like she's starting to wake up.
She's stirring.
She's going, oh dear.
Good thing.
Ruth is played by Anne Hesch, by the way.
Yeah, great.
I'm like, Ruth, we did pretty well at the Olympics.
The bang on the glass.
She looks through the glass.
She looks at you. She goes, oh, that's great.
Did the United Kingdom do well?
Yeah, all right, we killed in the pool.
In the pool, we always do well.
Julianne.
Ruth.
You rescued me.
I don't wanna hide our love anymore.
I love you. She means close, for a kiss.
I go in for a kiss too.
You have a passionate kiss.
What's all this about?
You're just staring with a gun.
It's at this moment you see, but you do not, you see Ruth looks past you because she's
on a table, you're like holding her and she looks past your head up to the ceiling and
she lets out a blood curdling scream
as pressed and meshed against the top of the roof.
You see a loose spine and a head
with a distended jaw of Dougal looking down
and he lets out a, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààà on the two of you. What are you all doing? You both have like one thing that you can do as this happens.
Well, the glass bulletproof.
You're not sure.
I can let you make a science role
if you want to check if it's bulletproof very quickly.
That won't count as your one thing.
No, I'm true you're happy.
Yeah.
So I just let loose.
What are you aiming at?
Anything that moves.
Cool, but like, are you going for like the head?
Cause it's falling around Julianne.
I say.
So Dougal is coming from the roof down.
Almost like, yeah, almost like a,
imagine like a large amount of like viscous viscera
and like body parts just extended,
George just like dropping around you, very flemmy.
So.
I got, I got, I am at the flame.
I say, listen, motherfucker.
You motherfucker.
The time is gonna pass.
Yeah, you fucking, you fucked with the wrong fucker,
motherfucker.
And then I take my, the floating gun,
I aim something, I shoot at this shit.
Yeah, it's like me, shock put.
Yeah.
Or whatever, pull.
Yeah.
Roll tooth.
It's going to be a 10.
20.
That's a natural 20.
That's a critical.
That means you get to roll it again.
Yeah, 20.
And add to it.
One.
So 21.
You absolutely annihilate.
You shoot it through the head.
It goes through the glass,
it, bone fragments fly against the back wall,
piercing the metal cabinets.
What are you doing in this moment?
Well, I'm in shock.
You're in shock.
Well, it's good that Broden,
you see him on the other side of the glass,
giant snow with this floating gun, bobbing around.
Yeah.
Well, this is the origin story.
This is where we realized this is an origin story.
I'm no longer Broden.
I am the snowman.
And this is the start of the middle of-
That's actually the name of the movie.
Oh yeah, great.
Well, yeah, I am the snowman.
Yeah, that's cool.
The snowman versus-
You think it's going to be about the thing.
Yeah, I love that.
Is this before he shoots?
Or what am I doing?
Or he's shot?
I'll say either, either.
If you wanna do something just before,
if you wanna do something just after,
to try and get it, the glass is shattered,
so you can try and vault out of the window.
No, no, I'm going to use this opportunity
because I see now that the doogle is shot.
And I realize that I've choked so many times.
I'm going to use this opportunity.
I don't want to run.
I need to get a sample.
I need to stay and I need to observe.
It's a billion dollar sample.
You know that.
Yeah.
And I got to get that sample.
Not only that, that's the sample that could save us.
That could be the way to...
Good.
So you've got test tubes here.
You've got different ways of capturing this material.
So you're just trying to quickly,
whilst it is injured on the ground,
like sort of reforming.
You can see blood has splattered across the walls.
The blood looks like it is making its way back
to a central mass.
Oh, that's cool.
And you are able to quickly go over,
I'll say, yeah, this doesn't require a roll
because you've just thought to do this.
Oh, great.
Get out the test tube and just scoop up a little bit and cork it and put it in your pocket.
Yeah.
And that's what I do.
Yeah.
Do you, does anybody, do you want this to be an obvious thing you do?
Or would you like this to be a little sneaky?
Um, oh, I like that.
Yeah.
It's sneaky.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, then it's going to be a charm.
Uh, I'd say this is a charm three charm three just the sneakiness just the sneakiness
Just to see it to try and hide it
You and now
Knowing that you fail how do you how do you how does this happen? I'm just gonna get a sample
And then you like fuck that was meant to be sneaky. Yeah, it's alright everyone knows
I'll split I'll split any profits with you as you're sort of dragging you like pull Ruth out. I realized that one sample
Listen, that's worth a billion. Yeah two samples
Yeah, I'm like I think I gotta get second
Sneaky yep, okay roll the sneak first You go for a second? Yeah, I'm like, I think I gotta get a second sample. Is this also sneaky? Yup!
Okay, roll the sneak first.
Eight.
So the first one, very obvious. The second one,
behind your back, you scoop
a little bit, no one sees.
You have a second, much
larger sample. You have one sample.
And then I say,
Oi Broden, catch the one sample. Yeah, you have one sample. And then I say, hey Broden, catch the one sample.
Yeah, you have one sample.
I throw it to him, purposefully miss, it smashes on the wall.
So now he thinks that the sample is destroyed.
You throw it at Broden?
I'm like, catch the sample.
I don't have hands.
Yeah, make a survival to dodge this.
Because I say to catch it, you know, I'm like, three. Ten. Yeah easily. You just like, the snow just like
dissipates around it. Careful with that sample. Oh my god that was for you to
catch Broden. Well now we don't have a sample. Dougal drags himself into this room. But I do
have a sample. There's no samples now. Good one. Don't worry about samples we
need to get to the helicopter. Wait which one is this?
It's this doogle that got kicked in the nuts, he's crazy.
I can't give him the nuts just to be sure.
I'll say it's a survival, survival two, just don't roll a one, don't roll a one.
Two.
You slam him in the nuts and he collapses onto the ground.
Good, it's the real Teeqil.
You just touch him, ask.
I killed the other one.
Yeah, but we had to be sure.
It's reforming.
It's reforming slowly.
And you see Ruth, who is just like on your arms.
She goes, we need to get to the helicopter.
We need to leave.
Cool.
I've sent the message to everybody.
All right.
Please. Yeah. What do you want message to everybody. All right. Please.
Yeah.
What do you want?
All right.
Yeah, let's run for the helicopter.
Cool, yeah, yeah, you're running for the helicopter.
You see, it is caught on the violence
that has occurred on the base.
So there are four other people, sorry, one of them died.
There's three other people that work here.
Leave them!
They are all, all yeah you see
you see Dougal on the ground going there's other we shall warn everybody else yeah we we but the
helicopter can't take more than four oh okay you wait here Julian no I'm coming oh uh do you know
what Dougal all right I got it wait there how how many people? There's me, um, and his boat.
You, Ruth, Broden, Dougal.
Hey, do you know what?
And four people can get on the helicopter?
Do you know what? I belong here. I am the snowman.
Are you sure, Broden? You'll you'll look after it, you'll defend the others?
Yes, for I am the snowman, the protector of the great Antarctic.
Isn't there enough room for all four of us?
Yes.
Is there?
Yeah.
Oh, welcome.
No, you said you're going to protect everybody.
Yeah, you're right. I will. I'll stay, Dougal.
Oh, bless your heart.
Oh, then who else can we bring? Can we bring another one of them?
Yeah, we can get someone new at this late stage. Let's bring Dr. Carter. She can come along.
Yeah.
All right.
See, you rushed at a helicopter.
Yeah.
And you stay in the central-
I am King of the North. The North, yeah.
That's really cool.
That's really admirable.
Very Bruce Willis-like.
You can tell, as you're getting on the helicopter,
there's some time passing.
As Ruth, she's having to...
She's the pilot as well here.
And so she's trying to get the helicopter going.
She's a little bit woozy.
She looks back, she goes,
Oh, do we want to wait?
Do we want to wait for anyone to come?
But it's been a few minutes. I worry that no one's coming. Julianne, you have to make the call.
Are we going to wait for someone here?
Isn't there four people on the helicopter?
There's four people can go and you will get there immediately. But it seems that there's
some time, it's taking time as you've held back, you realise that everybody else here
has been taken over.
Not a problem.
Not a problem.
As you are just.
Oh no, but then no, so they're all aliens now.
You know that here.
I'll say you both have like walkie talkies
that you can communicate that inside.
As you are in the, make a survival role for me,
these are gonna go up in difficulty.
You need to do a six, an eight, and a 10.
No problem.
Four.
The first one. No problem. Four. The first one that comes up is a very old man called Dr. Patelli.
Dr. Patelli.
Dr. Patelli.
And he puts his hand on you to sort of reassure you,
thanks for staying.
Thanks for, and immediately just takes a bite
out of your shoulder.
Oh, which is just ice.
Which is just ice.
But that's a big bite.
It's a big bite. And you know now that is...
It's the sketch series from the mid 2000s. Is that what it's the big bite?
Yeah. No, it's like a big bite out of your body.
Oh no.
There's a big hole out of your body.
Okay, that's an issue.
And it reforms when you're a littler.
Their helicopters, the blades are spinning up and it's almost like it's doing that
like hover across the ground so you could leave at any second.
Do you stay to fight off these things?
Fuck yeah.
To give everybody a chance to escape?
I'm the snowman.
As the snowman, so you see this as you're on the helicopter, as the snowman breaks out
of the doors out into the tundra, the blizzard has stopped.
You can see that there is like a low sun
just like in an eternal dawn, piercing the skyline.
So it is just like golden orange out here.
And with like a flurry of snow, you can see the snowman.
You just see these weird monsters come taking bites
out of snow as you are just letting them
make another survivor or this is gonna be an 18.
Yeah, I'm gonna fuck, yeah.
And I'm just saying, when you see snow,
think of the snowman.
One. That's a one.
As you see Broden Kelly,
as the snowman, just destroy these creatures
one after the other, one after the other, they come out.
Even this mammoth comes up and starts to lunge at it.
You put it down. Yeah.
And then when finally they
start to reform, you take another shot and you're out of bullets, and you see him be
consumed.
Oh my god.
And do you have any final words?
Yeah, um, uh, suck my fuck.
As he dies.
He really should have ended on that, when you see Snowline.
As you- When you see snow line
Suck my fuck
You're in the helicopter you're're in the helicopter with Dougal.
Dougal sitting opposite you.
He's cradling his balls.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
He keeps like, don't hit me.
I go, wait a second.
Wait a second.
Please, I don't need this.
Every single one of them became one of the monsters.
I go, I know what I have to do.
Must have got to them.
I have to kick my lover Ruth in the balls.
I say, Ruth, put it on autopilot.
What?
Okay.
Of course my love.
The only way.
And I kick Ruth in the balls.
Make a survival check.
This isn't for whether you kick her in the balls. Make a survival check.
This isn't for whether you kick her in the balls.
This is for the crashing helicopter.
It's going to be a 10.
What?
It's a one.
So the helicopter starts to come down.
As you kick her in the nuts, she doubles over.
She doubles over.
She wants my roof.
And as it starts to double over, you also see a file open in your breast pocket.
This one that you jammed full, this sample that you took, it just shatters as like a
little creature comes out and starts to lunge.
It immediately lunges at Dougal's throat and he goes, Why didn't you take a sample? And it crashes in a fiery plume just before the explosion happens.
Does Julianne have a final word? Any last words?
Julianne tries to jump out of the helicopter.
Oh shit. Yeah, make a survivor roll. This is gonna be a six.
So you have to roll a four.
Famously, I've had a luck.
You have to roll a four.
Alright.
Run.
You jump out of the helicopter.
You die earlier than everybody else.
You immediately brain your head on the permafrost.
And I'm going to say, I'm going to say as well that
I'm going to roll for Ruth to redown control of the helicopter.
That's a 14. She takes back control. I get a role for Ruth to read the helicopter.
That's a 14.
She takes back a truck and the helicopter takes off
into the sky.
And it's so cute.
You just dash your head for no reason.
And this text on the screen comes up.
This is why university institutions must be re-looked at.
Both Broden and Julianne more probably would have survived
if they'd just gotten on the fucking helicopter.
Yeah, genuinely.
And I think we see like credits roll.
I love that.
I love that just the both of us dead.
Oh no.
Both of us dead as hell.
I love your last moments where you climbing
into the front of the helicopter
and be like hello mate, put it on the pilot
you're human
you're dead
Two corpses, it's like a
single locked off shot while the credits
go up as the helicopter flies off
and then some dope new metal
wwyaaahhh
that was great
that was so fun that's so great. Oh my god.
I had a good time. Did you have a good time?
Yeah, I had a really good time. You were really good at it.
And you were like, when we were naughty, you were like good at being like,
oh, okay, yeah. And sometimes you're like, nah.
And that's what makes a good RPG host.
I had a bit of fun, something different. I hope you enjoyed it listening.
The Snowman Lives, actually, in my opinion.
There'll be a sequel.
The Snowman Lives.
It's called The Snowman Lives.
Yeah.
Which we'll do at another point for sure.
If you enjoyed this, go listen to Trope.
Yeah, go watch Trope RPG.
Yeah, go watch Trope RPG.
And there are ways to go to the Antarctica on holidays.
Yeah, it's very expensive.
Yeah, but you know, if that's a trip of a lifetime.
Like a cruise. My mum's friend went on a cruise to Antarctica. Very expensive.
It was painful. That movie was painful by those talks. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming.
It was a pleasure. So much fun. Check out Trope. We'll be back.
I didn't die. We'll see you next week. Bye.
You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast.
Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by Aunty Donna Club.com.
See you next week.