Aunty Donna Podcast - Big Thicc Mark Feat. Greg Larsen

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Mark’s away this week so we brought in his twin brother Big Thicc Mark (Greg Larsen) instead.  LINKS  See Greg at Comedy Republic in Melbourne until the end of June https://www.comedyrepublic.com.au/event/38:342/   See Greg in Brisbane, London & Edinburgh Fringe https://linktr.ee/greglarsencomedian  Greg has a podcast too. Listen to his episode with Mark https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/hello-mark-bonanno/id1726852325?i=1000642604003   Watch the latest episode of Most Upsetting Guessing Game In The World with Mish Wittrup & Joe Kosky https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOFemTg9HGo   Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig   Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS   Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno  Guest: Greg Larsen Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper   Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener production. Welcome to the Aunty Donna podcast. This week's wacky adventure features our new favourite member, Big Mark. You can see the visuals for this plus lots of other cool stuff on the Aunty Donna club powered by Patreon. Check it out now, enjoy this episode. You listen to the Aunty Donna podcast. The greatest fucking bug-ass in the world.

Burning like a sack and sometimes a guest. We hope you enjoy this episode. You listen to the Honeydonna Podcast. The greatest fucking podcast in the world. Bro, Mike and Zach are sometimes the guests. We hope you enjoy the motherfucking podcast. Folks, bad news and good news. Oh. Mark, not with us anymore. No, he could not make it to today's episode.

Good, because? He died. Good news, bad news, bad news, good news. That's the bad news. Yes. Good news. Officially. We, but I don't know, no, we're sad, we miss him. But the good news is we found Big Mark. How you going guys? Hey Big Mark. I'm Big Mark. Big Mark, now you are Mark. Yes. But you're Bigger Mark. Big Mark.

Big Mark. That's all you're Big Mark. Big Mark is six foot three and a half. Six foot three and a half. You fucking dog. Mark was once the littlest Mark. Now he's the biggest Mark. Big Mark.

Guess how much Mark Big Mark weighs. Well I wouldn't want to ask because I don't know how Big Mark feels about that, Big Mark. I'm not going to tell you. Yeah, that's all right. You don't have to. Yeah, because I was going to trap you there. Yeah, no. I was going to trap you and bash you. And Big Mark, you're broad and you're tall and that's all that matters.

I'm broad and tall. Yeah, I'm broad and tall and thick. You're thick. I'm thick with a double C. Two C's thick. And of course you're played. Big Mark, Big Thick Mark. And of course you're played by one of our absolute favourite comedians, Greg Larson. Now, Big Mark.

Star of the Melbourne Comedy scene. Now, Mark, you are big. Big Thick Mark, yeah. Big Thick Mark are big. Big thick Mark, yeah. Big thick Mark. Yeah. Why, what are you, are you Mark though? Yeah, I'm a version of Mark. Mark Bonanno.

Yes. I am him. Like, have you heard about fetal twins? Yes. I ate, I am Mark Banano's fetal twin. Right. We were, we were fetal twins together. Right.

And I ate him. Okay. In the womb. But we knew Mark. But we know Mark. Yeah. How did that, how did that happen? It's, science has trouble explaining it,

but essentially I came out and I was too big. I was like big to the point, like I was this size as a bub. Right. And then when I was one. You would have been a C-section and I would hope for. No. Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's Cronenbergian. Yeah. That's horrific. Yeah. I like that. I like that. So you came out this size, you ate Mark in the womb. Do babies eat other babies in the womb?

They do eat babies in the womb. Most babies have you ate Mark in the womb. Do babies eat other babies in the womb? They do eat babies in the womb. Most babies have eaten a baby in the womb. Not munch munch crunch crunch, but it's sort of like dissolve and absorb? No, it's munch munch crunch crunch. Oh, is it? I thought it was a dissolve absorb. No, no, no, it's not a dissolve absorb, it's a munch munch crunch crunch. The baby go, and then...

Well, you're big Mark, I'm going to trust you on this. Yeah, I know because I did it. I, I did it. I ate little Mark in the womb. That's where we're at. That's where we're at. So you munch, munch, crunch, crunch Mark. And then at some point, we've known Mark.

Beard, no shoes, goes, here you go. And I like it kind of unexplained. I was going to go down a sci-fi route with it and then I'm like, no, you know, in the spirit of my previous reference, let's go a little bit 80s art house. It just is. Well I can explain it if you want. You can? I can ruin the mystery. Because I quite like the, oh we knew Mark, but also you ate him in the womb, how does that

work, what does that mean? But there's real things that happen. Okay, go for it. I mean this might raise further questions, but you know, so essentially at a certain point I was too big. I was too big my whole life. You're the biggest man. And here's the other thing, here's the other thing, right?

And I don't want to get too graphic, too dirty on this podcast. No, no, no please. I don't want to get too graphic, too dirty on this podcast. I don't want to get too dirty. Science is dirty. Do you remember seeing those naked shows on SBS and people were just going like, hey, I'm naked. Yeah. And all those shows.

Do you remember the floor of the Melbourne Museum that had all the naked people? That's what I'm thinking about. I remember a show where they did an autopsy on a man. Oh yeah, with that man and he had the hat. The German man. And I thought it was a joke. And then I tuned in. I thought it was because he had the hat. And I thought this is a man. Oh yeah, with that man and he had the hat, the German man. And I thought it was a joke. And then I tuned in. I thought it was because he had the hat and I thought this is a joke. And then I tuned in and it was real and I felt so sick.

Yeah, yeah, that was a full on joke. I wish I hadn't watched it. It actually scarred me. That was the peak. That was the peak of event television, wasn't it? It really was. They did an or- there was a show that did an autopsy. There was an actual show on television that did an autopsy on people. That was the final, that was the death cry of television.

Nine o'clock at night. What about if we cut up a body for it? And the guy had a weird hat. He looked all weird. Yeah, it did feel like a joke. And from memory, it had like a setup like Top Gear where there was people like a live audience but they were standing around. It was, when you mentioned the show the clearest counterpoint I could think of is when that masked magician would reveal how they did tricks. Yeah.

It had the same tone and caliber. I thought it was a Borat type deal. Because they had the ad and he's like, this is what is inside the human body. And there's this guy with a weird hat. Yeah, I remember it being a weekly show. Is that wrong? It was, it was a recurring.

I think it was a recurring show. He's like, today we're looking at Big Mark. Big Mark. Big Thick Mark. Now you were saying you didn't want to be graphic like that show. Yeah, but you can be. But I can be graphic like that show. So here's what happened, right?

So I grew up and I was big and I was thick. Hoppers Crossing? Where would be Hoppers Crossing? No, no, somewhere else. They sent you somewhere else? They sent me somewhere else. Who's they? Don't worry about it.

There are some things I can't go into. Okay, right. No, absolutely not. I like that. I think that's important. There are some things I can't. You ate Mark, you were born the natural way, you went someplace else. I went someplace else with them.

Yeah. With them. They, they. They, them, yeah. And at a certain point, I was, you think I'm big now? Yeah. You should have seen me. You were bigger.

Were you a whole normal Mark bigger? I was, I was, I was, yeah, I was as big as, as tall as Mark is, what, like three foot? Yeah, something like that. Three, four foot, foot. As a lot of people suspect, me and Broden are five, two, and Mark is three foot tall. As the crow flies. Whenever anyone's... It's shocking how small you are.

Whenever I meet someone in real life, they often go, oh, you're quite tall. I'm like, how small did you think Mark was? Yeah. And Mark's three foot is the crow flies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's the crow fly. And you were bigger. I was bigger.

I was much bigger. What are we talking? And then I'm talking like, I'm talking like 12 feet tall. So there's even more than, like that's fascinating. So you were both your own height, Mark's height, and then another three foot. I ate another bub. Oh, okay. After birth.

That's a different thing. Don't worry about that. But sorry, don't worry about that one. But like, that's not, we're not talking about that today. Just as a side note, there was a time once where I was on a thing with Greg and- Of course, who is playing Big Mark today. He's a great character. We just knew we had to get someone with that great comedic talent.

That's a good layout. And we were shooting at a place where they shot Offspring, the show that's set in a hospital. I love this story. And then a tub in a cupboard was a... A tub in a cupboard. There was a tub... There was a tub in a cupboard was a, there was a tub, there was a cupboard, there was a cupboard with a tub full of lifeless babies. Dead bums.

It was just, it was like, it was a, it looked like it was a tub full of babies, that rub, rubber babies, like to look like real babies on screen for a TV show and it looked like a tub full of lifeless babies. To be real though, I think they were supposed to be dead babies. You reckon? Because it was a medical show. Yeah, well I think they could play both. Sorry, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've seamlessly transitioned away from Big

Thick Mark. To Classic Greg. To Classic Greg. Classic Greg. But Big Thick Mark to Classic Greg. To Classic Greg. Classic Greg. But Big Thick Mark will come out. You're getting two characters on this podcast. Yeah. For the price of one, you're getting Big Mark and Classic Greg.

Big Thick Mark and Classic Greg. You know, it's actually, this is actually a little bit of trivia. Yeah. Part of the Greg Larson canon, part of the lore. Is. I used to work at a place called Wow Sight and Sound. Okay, this is great. I didn't know this.

In Queensland? In Queensland, yeah. Not North Queensland. South, South East. Oh, it's all North Queensland to me. North of us. Yeah. South of.

North Queensland is further from South East Queensland than Melbourne is from South East Queensland. Yeah, right. It's kind of like how the dinosaurs were closer to Cleopatra than Cleopatra is to us. I just read a book, The Quarterly Report, about Peter Dutton. Paints a great picture of your state. Yeah. Anyway, go on.

I don't get into politics, so I'm not gonna go on. But I used to work at a place called WowSightAndSound. WowSightAndSound. Tell me more about WowSightAndSound. You know JB Hi-Fi? Yeah. Imagine if that was way worse, and it smelled like cum inside. Yeah.

Why did it smell? I don't know. It just smelled like cum in the wow. Sometimes things smell like cum. Sometimes things smell like cum. No, because a bleach or whatever doesn't it smell like or like... Ammonia. Ammonia smells like semen.

Yeah. Cum is a profoundly unpleasant smell when it... And it can bleach things. It can bleach things? Is that bleach? Sorry? You're talking about bleach? Cum.

Okay. But cum is bleach. What? It's the same basic thing. The reason it smells the same is because it's the same. It's the same. Cum is bleach. No, I don't believe that to be...

Cum is bleach. I don't believe that to be... I think cum is bleach. You can make a bub with bleach and you can clean things with cum. Yeah, you can just as easily make a bub with bleach as you can with cum. Should we do a disclaimer at the start of this episode? Hey everyone, thanks for listening. This week we make some medical claims that are completely baseless.

No, but to be clear, it's not baseless. You can't... Now, you can't... I'm not saying... I'm not advocating putting bleach in a womb or anything. You've got to do it in like a petri dish. You can get just an egg, just any egg, like a chicken's egg. All eggs are the same, by the way.

Like an egg is just an egg until you put cum with it or bleach. And the thing that determines the animal is the cum or the bleach. So I could take the egg of a human, put a chicken bleach in it. Chicken cum. Or chicken bleach. Chicken bleach. Well you can't get chicken bleach. You can only get...

What bleach is the cum? If you put bleach in you always get that Mr Sheen guy. Always. That's the fucked thing about it. That's why he's the image on a cleaning. That's the man that you will get if you, it's like, watch out. And he emerges out of the petri dish. Yeah.

He doesn't, he's not born. He doesn't have a nine month cycle. He just sort of slowly emerges out of the petri dish over three days. Yeah. Um, anyway,, same about science. I don't think there's anything confusing about that. No, I don't. I'm just trying to think of what we were talking about. But if you want any more clarity, the egg doesn't determine the animal.

The cum does. If it's bleach, it over three days forms a little Mr. Sheen meme. And he's hideous for the first two days. He's like screaming. And he's, what you'd think is a little suit, you know, his little Mr. Sheen suit? That's all skin. So when he's forming, he's got like his suit is gooey. It's real fucked up. Yeah. You're a big wow. You smelled of cum.

Yeah. Yeah, smelled of cum. I was a wow sight and sound. And then I was called Greg. I still am. Yeah, you are Greg. Classic Greg. At various points in my life.

Well, this is the thing. A new Greg came in and I told everyone you have to call him new Greg and me classic Greg. That's very funny, Greg. And thank you. And that was a nickname. Is that real? That's real. You've been called classic Greg before.

I've been called classic Greg before. This is not the first time in's real. You've been called Classic Greg before. I've been called Classic Greg before. This is not the first time in my life that I've been called Classic Greg. I've had, I think, a few nicknames that never really stuck. The only nickname that ever stuck was Risty. Why did you get Risty? Because I kept saying, I thought the word Risty was really funny. It is a funny word. Because of hand jobs.

Hand jobs, yeah. And I'd be like, whenever I'd go anywhere, I'd be like, what's up? Who's up for a wristy? Yeah, great. You would say that. I thought that was funny. I thought that was a funny bit. It is a funny bit.

What era? This was, oh, I'm talking like 2004. So in the Iraq war. I'm talking. Yeah, Iraq war was in full swing. You know, we had got Saddam and I think he had been executed. The war had been declared one. Yeah. We should accomplish mission accomplished mission accomplished.

Wasn't that a mess? George W. George W. on the boat had happened, but you were. Sorry, we don't get into politics on this podcast. So we're not going to say whether the Iraq War was a mess or not. It doesn't... It's still up for debate.

That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. And so you were called Ristie during that period. I know you as Big Greg. Yeah, Big Greg. I know you now as Classic Greg and as Big Thick Mark.

I think that character... Big Thick Mark is a character I play. That's not me. Okay, sure. That's a different thing. Okay, sure, sure. All right. I don't want to be typecast.

There's a lot of opportunities for you as Big Thick Mark. No, I'm saying, like, I'm going to be, like, Big Thick Mark will return, but don't confuse me with Big Thick Mark. Those are different things. Like, I am Classic Greg. I am Risty. These are facets of who I am. But Big Thick Mark is a character that I play.

Sure. No, I do understand that. One of my favourite Big Greg memories is being at a friend's wedding. And Big Greg is you. I just want to clarify. I don't think I've ever been called Big Greg apart from you now. I'm about to say my memory of you being called Big Greg is we're at a wedding, you're in a wedding party and this nice middle-aged marriage celebrant is walking through and

this person's in there and the best man is this person and Big Greg. And I thought that was really, really funny. That's right. I was literally called Big Greg by the wedding celebrant at a wedding and I didn't know that was going to be happening. And I don't think the wedding celebrant understood that it was a gag. Like I think they thought it was just like a cool... That was your, like that was your, the Wadded Stuck nickname. And the wedding celebrant definitely seemed taken aback when the whole audience, an audience, the whole crowd laughed.

Yeah. And then I did a speech. I got a lot of laughs. You got a, that was up there for speeches. Yeah. It was a good gig. Yeah. Good gig.

Now do we get Big Mark back? Oh, I would love to see Big Thick Mark, but I think he doesn't exist. Is what Craig was saying. No, no, no. Big Thick Mark is real. So we don't, but he won't come on anymore? I'm sorry, Zach. Where you going?

Oh, he's back! But there are issues because I don't think Zach understands character comedy. Are you real? I'm real! I'm Big Thick Mark! Yeah, he's real and he's back. You were all wrong. Yeah, you were wrong. Oh, wow. Do you know Kami's Bleach? Yeah, I know that, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were wrong. Oh, wow. Do you know Kami's Bleach?

Yeah, I know that, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, Big Greg told us that. I learned that on that SBS show when the guy cut up the dead guy's dick. Big Mark. Big Thick Mark, yeah. Now, are you here for good? Yeah, I'm here for good.

And that is a double, he's going a bit Kendrick Lamar there, that line has two meanings. Are you here for good from now on? And also are you here for good? To do good. Or are you here for bad or mischief? Well, it depends on what you think is good and bad, you know, like morals are relative, you know what I mean? Like morality, ethics and all that kind of stuff.

Giving to the poor? Yeah, that's bad. Ah, okay. Big Thick Mark's a neoliberal. But we're not going to say whether that's good or bad. No, we're not going to. No, no, no. You can't get into politics on this show. No, we're not going to. Why is it bad to give to the poor?

Oh, because they need to make their own way in the world, you know? It's like survival of the fittest kind of thing. Big Thick Mark, okay. I just want to point out that like, you know, I'm Big, Thick Mark. Yeah, your classic character. I'm Big, Thick Mark. Yeah. Right. And I am, so-

You hold the same beliefs as Mark though. So that's good. That's what I'm saying is I hold the exact same beliefs as your standard Mark, classic Mark. Standard Mark, classic Mark. Everything I say, if I express an opinion, it is the opinion of Mark Bonanno. Sure. I just want to be clear about that. Just getting going back to- No doubt in my mind.

Going back to morality on the good and the bad. And I will just, Mark, we will do the morality now and we will also get back to exactly how you came into being and the whole question at the top. Yeah, because there's still stuff I gotta explain. There's still questions that need answering. That's gonna blow your fucking mind. Feeding a bird in the park? It's gonna fucking blow your mind.

Feeding a bird in the park. Feeding a bird in the park? Yeah, some seed. Bringing seed down to the park, tossing it to some local magpies. Yeah, I tend not to do that. Was that good or bad? That's bad. But it's good if you feed birds other birds.

It's good if you feed birds other birds. Yeah. Okay. You want to make them big cannibals. Is that like the social network guy who fed, you know, in the movie he feeds the, he fed chicken to a chicken and that was brought up. Oh no, you're thinking of, you're thinking of that one where friend, friend Dresher marries the dictator. Yeah, you're thinking the beautician and the beast, the beautician and the

beast. It's a very good movie. And it's not like the nanny at all. No, that's the thing. It's not like the nanny. People say it's like the nanny. It's not like the nanny. Mr.

Sheffield is from England. The Beast is from a vague Eastern European country. Different country. Mr. Sheffield is a independently wealthy man living in New York City. The Beast is a dictator. Yeah. What they don't really mention much in the movie

is that the Beast, the Mr. Beast, had committed serious war crimes and atrocities. Awful God. Yeah, like really, really bad. And Miss Ed, sorry, to be clear, if you haven't seen The Beautician and the Beast, it tells the story of the nanny and Mr. Beast, the popular YouTuber. Who has committed war crimes. Can I be clear? Because I don't know, I've left, I've removed The Beautician and The Beast from my head.

I saw it at the movies. The sitcom, The Nanny. I believe that. It's true. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone went to the movies to see it. I went with the whole family. I think I was seven or eight years old. And all I remember, the only scene in the entire film that I remember is towards the end, someone in the beauticians family is feeding chicken to chickens. And they play it as this light joke. And I remember just

being like, this is horrific. Wow. So they took the nanny and they did it again, but with a heightened sort of filmic sense. With a dictator who'd committed war crimes. Played by Timothy Dalton. Oh, I forgot it was him. That's a great cast. You can just look stuff up. Yeah, yeah. He, um, so she, fun fact about the beautician and the beast, a film that I have more knowledge

in my brain about than I thought I did. She went to a speech pathologist, a speech like, um, to person to undo her Fran Fine voice. She like that. She liked that chef you. Yeah, that because that's her voice. She worked hard to get rid of that Queen's accent because she wanted to bring something new to the character. She got to spend a lot of time and money on it.

She got there on day one and they're like, Oh, no, no, no, just do the voice. Well, there you go. Yeah, I there's a bit of trivia about that was I can't remember the exact thing. Yeah. There's a bit of trivia about that was I can't remember the exact thing, but it was there was a quote on the thing that said like Fran Dresch has never been funnier and they put that on the poster and I could be getting the exact quote wrong, but this is the vibe of the quote. Never been funnier.

And then, but the full quote was then a bag of wet sand or something like that. Oh, they did this. The full quote was bad and they made the short quote good. That's great. I'm Big Thick Mark still. Do you remember when they did that? That's why my voice is like slightly different. Do you remember when they did that poster for that one where Tom Hardy played twins,

appropriate for you, the big thick twins. Yeah, because I ate my fetal twin Mark, aren't I? Where they had five and four stars all behind the people and then they and then between the characters it just looked like they made it look like there was five stars being obscured by the characters but they put two and a half star reviews on the poster. That's cool. What was this for? It was for a Tom Hardy film and they yeah because they wanted it to look like look at

all the five star reviews but they had characters in front of the stars. Have you ever got a five star review Big Thick Mark? I have, yeah. Oh, Big Thick Mark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For doing a big shit.

Yeah, right. Doing a big shit. Yeah. And what publication reviewed your big shit? Big Shit shit. Yeah, right. Doing a big shit. Yeah. Which, like- What publication reviewed your big shit? Big Shit Magazine. Oh, sure. That's the same.

Well, they're the authorities on big shit. Yeah, there's a big shit magazine, and they're called Big Shit Magazine. But you did a big, thick shit. No. You did a big shit. I did a big shit. It wasn't thick. It was quite a thin, long shit.

Thin and spirally. I hate talking about this. But this does, this is a nice segue into how Mark Bonanno came to be. Yes, yes. So you've been sent away from Hoppers Crossing by them. And how old at this point? I'm, I now, um, we're talking, well, how old was I in 2018? I was, um, you're in 20 ish, 21. No, no, not me. I'm big, thick Mark.

Are you the same age as Mark? Classic Mark? No, I'm a bit older. It's, it's, do you know, it's really, it's really complicated, but do you know about time dilation? Yes. Yes. Yes Um, so I went through a thing a few years ago Essentially your speed relative to you like your speed relative to any other moving object Can affect the way you experience time, right? Yeah. So like if for example, if you were traveling at 90

90c so 90% the speed of light away from me, then you travel back at 90% of the speed of light. Time has passed more, your clock has ticked slower for you than it has for me. So I would be older than you. I think I get it. Cause like I saw Morbius felt like a lifetime. Yeah. So it's not quite, so what you're talking about is an emotional response.

Yeah. That's a little gag, a little joke. So it's more the idea that a photon which travels at the speed of light, it doesn't age at all. Yeah, I saw... Well, that's the thing. It's like... Watch a bad movie if it was like a lifetime.

Sure, that's... Yeah, you're making a little joke there. If you were traveling, or if you were near a very, like a massive object that had a great gravitational pull, or if you were traveling at a very fast rate watching that movie, then yes, that would apply. It would apply, but it also, it's, I mean, this brings up other questions about gravity as well, because gravity, when you say gravitational pull, like that is a good sort of colloquial way to explain it.

But the thing about gravity is it's not a force in the traditional sense of a force. It is a description of the curvature of space-time. So if everything travels in a straight path, if space-time is curved, you're still traveling in a straight path, but relative to the curvature of space-time. Orbits are a straight path through the curvature of space-time. Exactly. That's exactly correct. Great cross axes of what we're talking about when you could talk about the film Gravity and say, that felt like a lifetime.

So it wouldn't feel like a lifetime. So maybe to an outside observer, yes, that film. If you didn't like the film, if you didn't like the film and it was a draw to get through. It might feel a little longer, but for it to actually be a lifetime, you would have to be an outside observer in less curved space time or more curved space time. Well either way, it depends on your speed as well. So your speed relative to the observer, because the speed of light of light C is the same for any observer at any point right so you can see that films are getting longer yes and that and that is a point

a good point not necessarily a separate issue yeah it's a separate issue but if you imagine the photons that are being projected by the field like the the projector on the film gravity right they are projected by the field, like the projector on the film Gravity, right? They are projected onto the screen at the speed of light, at sea, right? So what happens is, from that photon's perspective... Just keep that voice up and remove him. Yeah. From that photon's perspective...

And this is also much more Zach. This isn't very Marky. Well, this is big... This is the parts of Mark that... I'm Big Thick Mark, just to be clear I'm not Mark. You're your own person. I'm my own person. I worry though that you're moving into my territory with the nerd shit. Sure, okay, okay. Well if it helps I could, we could fight, like a physical fight. You know and if you were little Mark still, absolutely.

Now I'm squaring you up I'm not so sure. Yeah, because I could win in a fight. I could win in a fight against any human being that's ever lived. We know at this point you've killed or eaten two babies. Yes, that you know of, yes. But have you ever picked a fight with someone your own size? I once beat Mike Tyson in a fight.

Wow. Yeah. So you're the photon. The photon, yeah. So the photon's perspective, time doesn't pass. You understand Broden? So time is sort of meaningless to a photon, if that makes sense. Because the speed limit of the universe. Can I just break in for a second?

Yeah. I've got something to say at the end of this. Can you, I can't think of any like boring movies for my next bit. Oh, boring. Depends on your perspective. I mean, people, I disagree completely, but people have said The Irishman. I was gonna say The Irishman. As an example of a really long boring movie.

Perfect, keep going. But I disagree completely. I love The Irishman. Yeah. I saw it at a cinema. Really? Yeah, it was good to see it at a cinema. I'm jealous of that.

I watched it. I talked to Really? I'm jealous of that. Yeah, it was good to see it at a cinema. I'm jealous of that. I watched it. I talked to Alexi, friend of the podcast. Friend of the podcast. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this.

Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this.

Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm not telling you all this. Sorry, I'm normally I would say cinema. He said home. It is a long movie and you can have a little snacky because you can have a sundae. You can have some ice cream while they have an ice cream or you can have, you know, like it's a movie where you want to have a snacky. You want to maybe go to the toilet. You can see a gold class as well where you can get a sundae.

You could, you could, yes. I'm a big believer if it's a big three and a half hour movie. Counter intuitively, I think that's the sort of thing you should see at the movies because then you're forced to watch it and you can't keep pausing it and shit. Yeah I think that's true. I think that's a good point. I'm Big Thick Mark. Big Thick Mark, did you need to finish the photon point or?

No I don't even really understand why I was talking about the photon point. I think basically. Oh no, to explain why Mark and I are different ages. Right. Because Mark, in a way, by living in my stomach, has travelled faster than the speed of light. Wow. Yeah, so basically what happened was I got a cut to the chase. How long is this podcast?

As long as you need it to be Big Thick Mark. We're introducing our newest member. Yeah, well, I ate him. So essentially, here's what happened, right? Up until 2018, and I was, how old was I in 2018? How old was I? You were maybe 27, 26? No. You were younger or older than Mark? You're a bit older. I'm older than Mark.

So you're maybe 35? My age is the same age as Greg Larson. Okay, and that is 40. Are you 40? I just turned 40 Congrats I I think big thick mark. Wait, hang on Hey, I'm Greg. Hey Greg. Oh, yeah, I turned 40. I feel like I invited you to my 40th. Yeah, and you didn't come I was somewhere. Yeah, you didn't come you texted me saying my 40th. Yeah. And you didn't come. I was somewhere. You didn't come. You texted me saying, go fuck yourself. Yeah. And I went, oh.

Yeah, I had an event, I think. You came. I did come and you were like, oh. This one? Yeah. Of all of them, this one. But Big Thick Mark, bring back Big Thick Mark. How you going?

Hey. You're 40. Big Thick Mark. bring back Big Thick Mark. How you going? Hey! You're 40. Big Thick Mark! Yeah, I'm 40. So how old was I in 2018? I actually, like it's... Six years ago. Six years ago, 34.

34. I was 34. God, time just gets away from you. It just fucking gets away from you. Yeah, it does. And you get 40. It moves quicker as you get older Doesn't it as a fact? Yeah, and factually it gets quick, but it also moves slower

Inside the belly of it moves in slow range. So I hadn't pooped right up until 2018. I'd never pooped Yeah How were you in 30 was it heavy? Did you did you feel like you hadn't pooped? You know me where I didn't know that it was a thing. And then someone's like, oh, when did you last... I went to a doctor and I was like, oh, I got a belly ache. Because they didn't teach him about pooping. Yeah.

And this is before you were in Big Shit Magazine as a... Yes, exactly. This is before I was in Big Shit Magazine. And I was in the doctor and my stomach was like literally just going like... Like that, right? And I could hear it going like, oh, I'm silly. And like, wow. Yeah. That's Mark.

It's a mark. It's a form. Well, yeah. Wait, I didn't know at the time. Yeah. And then the doctor said, when was the last time you pooped? And I said, what are you talking about? What is a poop?

And then he had to show me a video and he showed me like a lot of videos. Showed you that guy with a hat cut and the guy open and being like, here's how poop works. He showed me that, but yeah, he just showed me a lot of videos of poops and stuff and then like at a certain point I was like, I don't know like Does the fact that they're pooping on someone else is that relevant to it? Right, okay, so he was showing you those kinds of videos. And then he's just showing me all kinds of pornos and I was just like, are you a real doctor? And he was like, nah.

Yeah. So yeah, I had to like trap him but Then I um You realize he was part of them. He was part of them. He was one of them. He was one of them. He was one of them. So I had to trap him. You trapped Mark. No, no, no. I trapped the doctor. He was a fake doctor so I was fine.

He was a fake doctor. I trapped him. Keep up mate. Sorry. So they've infiltrated the medical profession in order to keep Big Thick Mark on point. Can you give me the TLDR? The TLDR is then I did a big pop and Mark Bonanno came out in 2018. And that was the first time Mark Bonanno ever existed.

So now that's great. That was the first time in 2018 was the first time he was real. He was never, he didn't exist before that. What I love about this, right, is it gives us an explanation, gives us something to hook into but it still has, you know, a sort of strange dream like series of question marks because Mark was making stuff with Auntie Donna before 2018. With videos and footage and photos. Yeah. That's the thing. You reckon you do.

Yeah. Look it up. Look it up. That's fun. It's no, it's the Mandela effect. Everyone collectively remembers this thing. Like you look it up, you will not find a single video prior to 2018. This is actually quite scary. You will not find a single video prior to 2018. This is actually quite scary. You will not find a single video of Mark and it's not him. Look at the photos, photos you have, he's not in them.

You think he is, but he's not. I find that... That's what's crazy. We were doing cum gear before 2018, man. Neither of us were bringing that into the... Yeah, I find it very unlikely. I don't have the wherewithal or the infrastructure to be able to look that up myself. Yeah, yeah.

So... You don't want to open that Pandora's box because when you do, I think you need to live in the lie. Because when you realize, when you look it up, when you try and find a video from pre 2018 and see that Mark isn't in it, your entire reality will, you will become catatonic. Can I tell you what will happen? Yeah.

I've realized what will happen. Yes. What will happen is it will drive us insane. Yeah. And it will drive us so insane that we desire, we want to change history to make Mark there again. Yeah. So we, we get the hat guy.

We kill you. We get him to cut open your stomach, figure out the time traveling qualities of your stomach. We use that to go back in time. The final twist at the end of this whole story is that we are them. We are the people that did it all. Oh my fucking God. You don't have any idea what's going on.

Can I get the TLDR of that? Uh, I'm doing a, I'm doing a 12 monkeys. This is like, this is 12 monkeys. This is Looper. This is a Le Jeté. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like, and you can't unpack it too much because it will just break down. Yeah.

But it, yes. Back to the future? Yeah. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bit of back to the future. Iron Man meets his dad at the Stark Industries. Hang on a second, hang on a second. Predestination, Broden.

So. Predestination. Okay, great. Big Mark has put on a fedora. No, I haven't. Oh, new character. I am Doc from Back to the Future. Oh!

Wait a second, wait a second. Zach has put on a fedora. And the fedora immediately fell off. It fell off your head. It's me, Marty. Marty McFly and Doc Brown here. We have to go back, Matty. Marty McFly and Doc Brown here. We have to go back to the past, Marty McFly. Oh, Marty McFly, I hope I get to finger my mum.

Oh, you definitely will. You definitely will, Marty McFly. I've got a time machine and it works. You've got to get inside the time machine, Marty McFly. Don't check the time, Broden. Doctor? Yes? What the fuck is this?

I'm a little boy and this is my old friend, Doctor. I'm Doctor. I'm Doctor Brown. What the fuck is this, guys? This is Doctor Brown. This is Doctor the Futurist. And Marty McFly. I'm Doctor Brown. What the fuck is this guys? This is Dr. Brown. This is Dr. The Futuristic.

And Marty McFly. I've got a hot girlfriend, but not so hot that we can't just change her between movies. Is that a different actor? Different actress. Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. I'm Dr. Brown. Dr. Brown, I want to finger my mum. Oh yeah?

Well, that's the whole reason I invented time travel, because I thought, God, is there a way you can finger your mom and not get in trouble for it? And you can't get in trouble if you go back in time. I want to finger my mom and I want to make friends with a young Crispin Glover. Marty and Doc Brown were out of time. No! Crispin Glover was in a movie about rats called Ben. Do you want to? He once nearly kicked David Letterman in the face.

Okay, great. Thank you so much for coming in Doc Brown, Big Mark. It was me the whole time. Greg Larson. And it was me, Zach. I was just playing Marty. You can catch Greg's wacky adventures on his own podcast. The Greg Larson Show. Oh, wow. You like to search on like Spotify. Spotify, yeah. And also, if you're... Can I plug a thing?

Yeah, please, please. If you're in Melbourne, I'm doing the Greg Larson show live at Comedy Republic, like five times. Oh wow! This month, like Friday nights, late show. It's gonna be a late show. Okay. It'll be crazy. When's this coming out, Linz? We can maybe push it forward.

It... Yeah, we bumping it up for you. Bumping it up? Not that we're banking. Is this gonna come out like ages? Not that we're banking. This could going to come out like ages? Not that we're banking. This could come out in 2030 if we want it. See some fans think we're banking, but this is proof that it's fresh.

Yeah. Because this will come out. It's definitive proof. Definitive proof that we made it fresh. We had that conversation. Yeah. Yeah, what are the dates? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. What are the dates? I don't know, Friday the 24th of May, then the following Friday, then the following Friday, not the 14th of June. Hang on, let me get my phone. May or June?

Wait, where do we? We'll put it in the information. Do you have a website, Greg? The 24th, the 31st. Of what month? The 7th of June, of May. Greg? The 24th, the 31st. Of what month? The 7th of June, of May.

The 24th of May, the 31st of May, the 7th of June, the 21st of June. What's with these dates, man? The 28th of June. Friday nights. Every Friday night. Friday nights at Comedy Republic for the month of June. Greg. Except the 14th. An absolute honour to have you.

Thank you. And thank you to Big Mark. We hope to see Big Mark and Doc Brown and Marty McFly again. Yeah, Doc Brown and Marty McFly. Yeah, I feel like we only scratched the surface of Doc An absolute honour to have you. Thank you. And thank you to Big Mark. We hope to see Big Mark and Doc Brown and Marty McFly again. Yeah, Doc Brown and Marty McFly. Yeah, I feel like we only scratched the surface of Doc Brown and Marty McFly. I was really worried because, you know, that was the impetus of Rick and Morty. I thought, can we forge our own path with a, and I think we really did.

I love, I'm already thinking. I think this could be a full, like you could make movies. Yeah. Let's see. Back to the future remake. Doctor and Marty, Marty Boy. And then in brackets, back to the future remake, unofficial. Close brackets.

It's the same plot. Yeah. But we improvise it. Every scene is the same. Yeah. I really want to do this. Are we going to GoFundMe? See you next week, folks.

Goodbye. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week.