Aunty Donna Podcast - Boat Month Part 1: Undocked Seamen

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

It’s time. It’s a global exclusive. It’s the first ever moving boat podcast. Boats have been moving since time immemorial, but ne’er has there been a podcast on one of the moving ones. For a whole month we are exploring the high seas* from a boat. We’re docked. Where will we get to? How many school children will we yell at from the safety of our boat? You better listen to find out. *The Yarra River With thanks to the On A Boat team – you too can skipper a boat by visiting https://www.onaboat.com.au/ . LINKS Visit On A Boat to skipper your own boat adventure on the High Seas Yarra River https://www.onaboat.com.au/ . Watch the whole of Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe season 1 on ABC iView https://bit.ly/ad-coffecafe . Buy tickets to The Magical Dead Cat World Tour - https://bit.ly/auntydonna-worldtour . Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig . Become a Patreon supporter for full length videos of the podcast http://auntydonnaclub.com/ . CREDITS  Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, Mark Bonanno  Intro VO: Thomas Zahariou Producer: James Blake Social and Digital Producer: Nick Barrett Executive Digital Producer: Oscar Gordon Audio Producer: Darcy ThomsonAudio Imager: Mitch Calladine Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper  Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh   Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com/Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

G'day guys, it's Broden here. I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for watching our new show, Anti-Donuts Coffee Cafe. We just wanted to let you know every episode is available now on ABCI View. We'd love if you could watch it all this weekend, and if enough people watch it this weekend, we have a very good chance of being able to make more cool stuff in the future, so tell your mates this weekend or give it a re-watch this weekend. We love you all. Enjoy this stupid, stupid podcast. A list, nap production. G'day legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Arty Duna podcast.

Today is the first installment of Boat Month, one of the greatest Arty Duna adventures that was ever had. If you'd like to watch The Boys on the Boat, as they travel down the Yara in search of an island, you can get access to the video version and bonus fun content at anti-donorclub.com. Enjoy the podcast! The greatest fucking bug us in the world Burnin' my Kentucky sometimes and guess We hope you enjoy the part of the fucking bug us Yeah, Bite-Month Bite-Month

Bite-Month Bite-Month Month of podcasts on a bite Burn it in second My gonna bite-Month Bite-Month On a boat, brother Danza, can I go on a boat? All right, mum, mum, mum. At first, we recorded the first ever moot. Well, first, we invented comedy on podcasts. We invented comedy.

We recorded the first ever podcast in a podcast studio. Yes. We were the first to do it. Second thing we did that was first was hybrid sketch. Hmm. Hybrid sketch. What we did up, we hybrid it with. I can't remember. Narrative.

Narrative hybrid sketch. The third thing we did that was first was we were the first ever group, particularly me, but you know we share this. Yes. To make a character so funny that someone literally killed over. Which one was that? Frogman, who's like, oh, that's so funny. They couldn't even stand up.

Some people got stomach ulcers. Yeah. And then nothing for 200 podcasts. And then the car one. And then the car. And then for the first ever car podcast. We, that's right from anti-donna the creators of the first ever podcast recorded in a moving car. We present podcast on the first

first ever past recorded on a live live on a boat recorded live. It's not live on a moving boat on a moving on my headphones are falling on a moving boat. Recorded live. It's not live. On a moving boat. On a moving boat. I'm like, oh my headphones are falling off. On a moving boat. You probably hear some gulls cawing in the background. That's not Mark's craziest new character. Newest character.

No, no, no, no, no. You probably hear the mousac of Crown Casino trying to draw in vulnerable people to steal their life savings. That's not, yeah, us doing that. You may hear a man saying, oh God, I've ruined my life, my kids, what have I done? That's not us. No, that's just a man at Crown Casino.

We are at a tough time. Right now, doc. Probably had a rough night on the, yeah, on the old table. What's my wife gonna say? No, no, no, that's just, that's not our character. I would like to address just for a moment that my headphones before were falling off.

Not of my own volition, I don't know how. Well why that was happening. That's the only other of you were trying to help. Because we were, do you know how I was helping? How? I was keeping the podcast, the float while you flailed. Yeah, and let's see, and if I fall out of the boat,

are you gonna have the same attitude? Or keep the podcast, that's my question. So the podcast is more important than the life of your best friend who you live with. Yes. Yeah, we live together. Oh yeah, some people don't know this, but we live together in a big line of show.

I know we live together in a big wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't live together anymore. Now we run a cafe together. People ask me all the time because obviously a normal person whose brain works normally would assume that we all live together. I'll be out. I'll be out on a Sunday with my partner and someone will bump into us.

Someone will bump into me and go, I'm a big fan. We're a bro and a mother. We're a mess. And I'll say, I'm going to be real with you. I don't know. Bro, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and I said to you, where's your friend? Yeah, where's your cousin? Where's your cousin? Where's your cousin right now? Right now, where's your cousin?

And then why aren't you hanging out with your cousin? And then when they said, and then when they said, I don't know, your disappointed. Yeah. But we're on a boat. We are on a boat. On a boat.

First ever moving boat. I'd cast. Yes, not the first ever moving boat. Podcast. Doct out the front. Yes, not the first ever moving boat. We want to make that clear. Boats have been moving since before time was 4. 19, 80. Early, late at that.

19, 80, I think was the first one. Well, that moved down. Yeah, that was 97. So it was at least before 90. Unless that wasn't a real boat. No, no, they built a real boat for that. So if you are just tuning in, we are on a moving boat.

We are on a moving boat. Well, no, we're not moving yet. We're not moving yet. We're not actually moving yet. For those of you just listening, of course, you can see the visual representation of the boat on the Antidona Club, powered by Patreon,

if you wanted to see that. Now, one's got a fucking gun against your head, but if you wanted to, you can. If you are just listening like the bulk of our audience does, just want to be very, very clear right now. We wanted to paint the picture for you. We are currently docked. Now, we've been told what is docking.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we are docked. We will not be docking today. Today. Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to a boat. I have had explained to me by the wonderful staff at Ona boat. Ona boat. Great people at Ona boat. Great people at Ona boat who have supplied us with a boat. With a boat.

And I don't know if we have to mention Apparel Spritz, but the brand is all over the boat. You don't have to mention Apparel Spritz. I feel like that's a deal with Ona boat and Apparel. No, no deal with Apparel Spritz. We made a deal with Apparel. With Ona boat.

Oh, another boat. There are more people on boats. They're not podcasting. But they're not podcasting. We will say, if you are listening, if you heard that horn, that was a passing boat. But if no one on that boat was podcasting. And if you doubted, go on the boat.

Are they? But they're just hanging out. They're just hanging out as friends. They're great. What would they do? Because they live together, I believe. Now, we are docked. Let me explain.

We are docked. The kind workers that on a boat explain to me that, to be docked, to be docked, is to have your boat tied to a dock. But that's not the case at the moment. There's a lovely definition. There's a lovely question. There's a lovely question. There's a lovely question. There case at the moment. There's a lovely, there's a lovely class region woman to the side over here holding.

You guys, Wagen. Yeah, cool. We're holding a rope. That is essentially our docking. Yeah, if she would have let go, all hell would break loose. Now the reason we're docked is because we wanted you, we wanted to ease you into the moving boat podcast. Mark dropped his headphones.

It's been a journey. It's been a journey already, so. But we hope that you feel a little at ease in this docked boat. Now, to be clear, we do not have a staff member from on a boat driving this boat. No, they have lent us the boat. Yes, they have. But the captain of this boat is the one and only Mr. Mark

Samuel Bonanno. Mark, do you want us to talk us through a little bit about what you're going to be doing as the captain of this boat? Absolutely, sir. As the captain of this boat I am responsible for my seaman. You are my seaman and you are my seaman. Now the seaman we're currently docking the seaman. Yes, the semen will be docked. The semen will be docked. Yeah. We of course have, we will, we will told not to address it, but we do have two other people on the boat.

We're not going to say their names. We're not going to show them. Camberman, the sound camberman. Camberman, we have a sound man. We were told, don't address it. Don't talk about it. I can't. I'm an honest person, I would never lie.

They felt my audience, I need everyone to know that I have four semen, and they're all pretty big. Yeah. Now Mark is the captain for this, which brings me too. Should we set some rules for the first time? If you want to, I mean, I personally am not a rule guy. Oh shit. That's cool. Because the last time we did it, you set 13.

I've never done a moving boat podcast. I can't. No, but you haven't done a moving car podcast, but it is different because we had a driver in the car, but we didn't have a captain. You didn't wear any special hat. I'm wearing a sort of special hat that gives me certain powers that neither of you have. Yeah, like I can call mutiny.

No, I call that's not how mutiny works. I call mutiny. Now mutiny for anyone listening, mutiny was a concept that originated in the Star Trek universe for spaceships. Yes. That's when someone says, Captain, you have clearly been infected by an alien technology.

Oh, it's before that. You have clearly been abducted by the Romulans and been brainwashed, but Star Trek is set in the past. It's a long, long time ago. No, that's Star Wars. That's, Star Trek is set in the future in the 23rd century. No, no, no, no.

Maybe the 24th. At the start, it says a long, long time ago. They're going to come to me on Twitter for that. Can I jump in real quick and say to an, we're going, I'm just explaining Newton. Yeah, we got that. Shoot, we're going, yeah, go on. Yeah, yeah, go on.

Just, originally it was referring to star ships in the sky, but also it can refer to a boat. I think it was boat first, but let's move on. Maybe, greater disagree. Me and Broden can call Mutiny become captains of the ship if we wish to. But I need to agree to that. No, that's not call Mutiny become captains of the ship if we wish to. But I need to agree to that. No, that's not how Mutiny works.

He, Brodon, needs me to agree. Yeah, two people need to agree. The crew need to whisper. Yes. And I think it would be best if anyone's calling Mutiny not to say, I call Mutiny. Yeah. The better thing to do is to say,

is to question the captain's judgment. And then for the other person to say, well, you're talking of mutiny. Yes. And then you would say, you call mutiny. You're God damn right, I am. Yeah, or something like that, you get to choose. But the person to bring up mutiny doesn't say mutiny.

That's the job of the second person to say, are you talking about mutiny or something to that effect? Right. We're going, there's an island in Melbourne offer on the river that to my understanding has never been on a... And no human has ever stepped on it. Never stepped on it. Called Herring Island.

It's because it's a good 10, 20 meters away from the shore. So no one's actually been able to figure out how to get there. Yeah, but we have a boat. Apparently there's some nice statues and a nice walking area around it. Oh really? Which will be lovely to see.

Can I actually just, sorry to do this. I don't want to do this in the intro section. Uh-huh. Can I just sort of ask your question, guys? Hmm. If no one has ever been on the island, how is their statues in a walking path? I believe their natural, sort of caused by natural disasters and then the earth's shape. Because the earth used to be just one big piece of land.

I know, I've seen walking with dinosaurs. Well, I think we'll find out when we get there, yeah. And then through, I think there's like some wind storms, there was like some waves. Are you sure it wasn't just some sort of council initiative? No, because no one's down on the island. No, we've been assured this is we'll be the first to ever step foot. Okay, I'm expecting to see some fish. I would. Any other rules on herring island? Yeah, a herring is a fish. Is a type of fish. Now we've been told this trip will take

an hour and a half. Which is funny, isn't it? Because by train, by train, it takes you 20 minutes. So why would you get a boat? Because, but Zach, we've been told that but Captain Benano's never been on the wheel boat. And I don't know if you guys know. I don't know if you guys know, but I'm a bit of a lead foot. So I also told us there was a speed limit built into the machine boat. Yeah, it goes about two knots But let me tell you I will be I'm also a bit of a metal pedal to the metal and also I know how to break into one of these things

Oh, he's gonna hot up the boat. I'm gonna hot wire it so that we will go up to two and a half knots That's insane and I promise you we will be there in We will go up to two and a half knots. That's insane. And I promise you we will be there in probably an hour and 15, all right, and I can do it. It's sick. If you don't stop it, lights and stuff. If I don't say, if we don't catch any lights,

you want to slow down the bridges as well. Now, Broden, I know that you're a bit of a rule guy. I remember when we did the car podcast, you were setting heaps of rules. Yeah, absolutely. Not me, I'm cool, chill, Zach. The joke here is I said all the rules. Oh, I know.

Go on. Just if someone, should we give a C-Sick this morning, if you get C-Sick, do not listen to this podcast. Oh, yeah. Turn off, yeah. We are going to be on the water. Well, our voices won't wobble. We don't know that.

We don't know that, Zach. Can I say with all confidence, if you get C-S We don't know that. First podcast on a boat. Can I say with all confidence, if you get C-Sick, don't listen to this podcast on a boat. Two, two, oh yeah. Let us do the boat boating for you. We're gonna be saying two two two podcasts on a boat. You son of a bitch. Things like that, yeah.

Things like that we'll be saying it will be if there's another boat going past. That's a train going past. Hopefully, now my biggest fear, I've got a rule. So we are going to set some rules. That's all we're going to set some rules before we take off. Rule number one is we can call mutiny and the person who calls mutiny has to come, you know, that whole thing.

Yeah, right. Yeah, mutiny. I guess, well, yeah, but that's a rule of any boat. Is it? That's like saying, oh, the car's going to have four wheels. Okay, sure. No, that's not a rule., the car's gonna have four wheels. Okay, sure, no, that's not a rule. Yeah, that's why a bike is the great rule breaker.

No, actually, could I say at rule number one, this boat has the flight. Boat has the flight. Rule number one, this boat has the float. Rule number two, if we encounter pirates, we fight to the death. Is that all pirates? Is that all pirates?

Or does it differ if it's the real all pirates? Is that all pirates? Is that all pirates? Or does it differ if it's the real complicated pirates? Yeah, all any pirate. Like Captain Phillips going to pirate. If any Captain Phillips pilot. Any pirate we come across? We do not let them take advantage of us. They have big hoses.

They have big hoses. Yeah, to scare off the pirates. Any other rules? No. That'll do it. All right. It's time to push off to Herring Island boys. Herring Island, I'm so excited. We're going to be the first people to ever do it.

We're waiting. We're holding. We're waiting for something. I should say as well, this is boat month. Oh yeah, boat month. We're not about to. I should say as well this is boat month. Oh yeah boat month. We're not about to do an hour and a half podcast. No we are going. Stretch that content out. We are going to stretch that month. You son of a bitch. We are going to stretch that content out. You're going to get a couple of podcasts on the water. You might get a herring island podcast. Hey if we're feeling it you might get a podcast on

the way back. Get ready for boat months. It's all the first podcast on a boat. So this is un... Un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un...un... you there. Well and and also also because the water is always moving so if you touch it it becomes ocean pretty quickly. Alright we're gonna take off boat wise right after this ad break. And we're back and we're still on a boat and we are about to take a maiden voyage. You're just joining us. This goddamn boat. If you're just doing it around. A glass of water. A glass of water. I guess we, Jim Womine is pulling off the ropes. What would you call that? That's a rope. Undocking. Undocking. Undocking.

Oh, I've never seen undocking. Undocking, yeah. Sorry, sorry. We are away. And we're going. Oh, we are, we are being kicked off by the employee at Ona boat. The good people at Ona boat. All right.

We are on the boat now. On the boat and we are setting sail and I am turning us around so that because we have to drive on the right side of a river. I gotta go through the middle of that bridge, yeah. I don't go through the side of it. I go through the side. I feel like we'll chop our heads off.

No, we'll be fine. So you're just listening, you're not, if you're just listening, actually, if you're watching as well, you're just looking at us looking at it. there's a bridge, there's a low bridge. I think we can make it under the right-hand side. I'm not a little bit afraid, I think we should go for it. And the best part is the crueir at the front of the boat,

so they'll go first. I don't feel confident. I'm, and I'm not a room. Am I not a room? I'm not a room. I'm Can I have my Look at the people standing on top of the bridge it tapers my worries the tape But look at them standing on the bridge move them down mark you go go under that mark You listen to me. Why don't make me go through the middle. They said go right. They said go right mark You can do it All right, I'm yel to the glass. We Um, all right. Yelter the glass waging.

To go there, she's in the middle. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Fucking idiot in the middle. Oh, fucking idiot. You're going to get us killed. Just a little bit. You're overcorrected. I'm overcorrected.

I don't worry. I know what I'm doing. All right. Now, we're on a boat, Jim. Right. Right. And just say, we're doing a podcast on the boat. The first ever podcast on the boat.

We are getting a lot of thumbs up much is And and walk away before you spend too much. Yeah, that's because they're from crown That's the one with the win that was the packer is corrupt They've rigged the Pokemon machine. You wanted me to go through that you wanted me to go through that and risk our lives I knew I knew going under I don't know was the right choice now folks were on a boat uh... i think of context or did you give enough context i was just yelling at the

credit you were yelling at a casino that we're driving people are like all looked at all the broadcast on the boat and i thought i'd let them know what was going on now do we want to do any heightened characters on the boat or is this enough this is enough you can you can do what you can do one if you want. You can do it if you want. You can do it if you want.

I don't know, just like there's a lot of information for a list of them. Yeah, now folks, we are going under a bridge now. Oh, and it's cool under this bridge. Now, and this is the very bridge that Brodin and Zach wanted me to go under the side bit of, which undoubtedly would have led to some sort of disaster. I think we would have been fine. And I said go under the side bit of which undoubtedly would have led to some sort of desire. I think we would have been fine.

And I said go under the middle and both of them went no no no it will be fine and then the glass wage and woman started screaming at us and said go through the middle. That's this bridge isn't that fascinating. If we went through that side bit would we have been okay? No, no. I'll put my hand down. And there's a big no there. I'll put my hand down. I'll put my hand down. What there's a big no there, yeah, big, yeah.

I'll put my hand up there. What a fucking goddamn surprise. Mark, where are you from? How about we trust the cut and f**k it? Can you just check the Fs and Cs mate? Sorry. We're in a public boat. You're speaking like a sailor.

We are going at a whopping 0.5 knots right now. We're at the fastest we can go. Uh, no, do you want me, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's check it out. Kick it out. Let's leg it. All right, now we We're at the fastest we can go. No, do you want me, let's let's let's kick it up. Kick it out. Let's leg it. All right, now we are going at a speed unknown to any man. Now, on this boat, we're seeing,

we're traveling through the beautiful city of Melbourne or NAMM, which is where we're all from and where, uh, Antidona got its start and where we live and have done for the majority of our lives. Now, when you drive through this great city, what has it grown up in Melbourne? But you're Melbourne. You know, Melbourne was the city I went to as a little limo kid.

When I was like, I'm going to the city this weekend, I'm going to buy a hat. Yeah, Melbourne was the city. I'm going to go to the city, I'm going to have smoker cigarette. Yeah, great. Did you smoke? Sometimes. We're going past one of the great...

LAUGHTER We're going past one of the great architectural... One of the great architectural icons of Melbourne, the Melbourne Aquarium. Oh, God, the Melbourne Aquarium. Have you been to the Melbourne Aquarium? Has it had its postmodern reappraisal yet? Or do people still hate it? No, it's a real piece of shit, in my opinion.

In my too, but I just, you know, maybe we're ready to reappraisal you. No, it's worth googling. And it needs a whale shark. I call mutiny. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not how it works. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, just checking. And here's the reason why. Even if you were calling mutiny, that wouldn't be how it would work.

And I'll tell you, there's a goddamn reason why you shouldn't be calling Mutiny. And would you like to know why? Because under the captainage of anyone else in the boat, we would be going through, we would be sailing through holes so small that everyone on the boat would die. That's what's been proven so far. Did you ever stop to consider my man

that the reason she didn't have confidence with us going under that part of the bridge Which because she didn't have confidence in you as captain? No, it's because of a size issue. It's purely like a it's a physics thing. I have that No, yeah, I know you have that issue. Don't you? No, I just want to really clean as finding the biggest asshole I've ever seen. It's a problem Now who just flies it? I don't know.

And it comes out in cubes. Did you know that? Yeah, I'm like a one-back. Now, I'm getting a very strong cento-fishing chips. Now, I thought when I went to a fish and chip shop, that it smelled like fish and chips. But what I'm learning today from being on a boat is that fish and chip shops smell like the ocean.

Also, there's a fish and chip shop out the front of the mountain. There is a fish and chip shop just out there. It may be that. But also, the ocean smells of chips. I've fished in there for years. I've got to be real with you. I don't know if there is a fish and chip shop there. I just thought that would be a funny thing to say.

No, there is. What's this Queen's bridge hotel? That's a hotel there. Oh, yeah. I've just never seen it from this angle because I've never been on a boat. Neither have our listeners. Oh, no one listening to the answer on a podcast has ever been on a boat.

I forget that sometimes. No, they've never recorded a podcast on a boat. Do we want to get on a boat actually now that I think of it? In fact, I did a podcast on a boat once. Oh right. Now I'm gonna get some sound of the water going past the boat. Oh careful. Yeah, no, I'm gonna be careful. Oh my right. Now, I'm going to get some sound of the water going past the boat. Oh, careful. Yeah, now I'm going to be careful.

Oh, my God. I'm going to be careful of the microphone. I won't. I've got a little thing on. Yeah, but it's not going to. All right, here we go. Here is. Oh, God.

Sound of water next to the boat. Do you want me to just let's hype it up a little bit? Yeah, I can't really. So if you are just tuning in, we are on a moving boat, first podcast ever recorded on a moving boat. Broden is about to take his handheld microphone, he's about to put it closer to the water. So you, the listener, can hear the water as it moves past,

well, actually, as our boat moves past it, and it moves past our boat. And let me tell you, the sea is heaving today, my friends. Yes, choppy. I am having to do some corrections over here to keep us straight that you wouldn't believe. I have to, I'm turning a little left, I'm turning a little right, and I'm constantly,

it's very much like making love. You need to listen to the other person. Trust me, much like the ocean, as the captain of the boat, I'm making love to the ocean. I'm listening to it's to it's needs You're back fucking bridge me. I'm I fucking know You just get it you just get it really no you get a really illustrative like When I go under that part of the bridge sack what I go under the big right next to the fucking Are you on holidays? Oh God. Are you on holidays? Yeah. Where are you from?

Japan. Oh, Japan. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I'll be there in May. I know it's Japanese tourists. Just talking to a Japanese tourist on a bridge that we passed under.

And may I say, Mark, you are doing a fantastic job of captaining this boat. And thank you so much. And you are my favorite crew members. I've ever had on a boat while recording a podcast. Now you'll hear echo, echo. Why is that? Why is that? We are under a bridge, much like Anthony Candace intended. This is the coolest fucking thing I've ever done in my life. I love this.

That makes me sad for you. I'm having a freeze. Such a thrill. That makes me sad for you, Zag. The experience of being out in the open, seeing the city I know and love from a perspective I've never experienced to then being under a bridge. I see it. Is a wonderful feeling, bro, what are you doing? I'm bearing my soul in your flap and a bell. What are you flabbing?

The captain is bearing towards me. No, no, I was not bearing. I was not bearing towards anything. A garbage catchment. I was not bearing oh Another boat oh my god don't mention the rival boat brand there is a rival boat brand that we are driving They look for don't wait and they look shit. They look shit. I just need to call out to the glass. We're gonna Don't worry. We're not going to mention the rival boat company. Anyway, Kerry.

We're just going to have to blur the map if they get in any of the shots. Because should we say that we mentioned that the rest of the crew are on another boat? Yeah, we have a convoy boat. We do have a convoy boat. I worry that maybe some listeners thought that the Glazwoijin was at the dock, and that's how slowly we were driving that. And she was now swimming next to the boat. Yeah, the Glazwoij gin is on the other boat.

It's also worth mentioning that before I got on this boat, I had an iced biscoff latte. Oh, no. And that and that has made me need to take a shit. Oh, no. From the moment I sat on this boat. Beautiful thing about the year. And let me tell you, hey, Zach,

oh, the beautiful thing about the year, right, yes, go on, you can just hang your ass over the edge of the boat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Isaac, oh, the beautiful thing about the Yara, yes, go on. You can just hang your ass over the edge of the boat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's parks Victoria. I hope if we hit a fucking drug boat. So I guess I know I'm not gonna hit the Yarra Botanica. There's a nice restaurant on the water that we are corining. But headphones are falling off again. I just want to be clear Mark, I wasn't a police boat.

It was parks Victoria. That don't care how many googs you got shoved up your ass. So long as you're not leaving anything behind or taking any deal with you. They will still arrest you, Zach. Now, if you were shitting off the side of the boat, they would, oh my god, Mark! Mark did Karina little towards a nice sort of floating. All right, I got this cocktail bar. I got this. What I'm concerned to do is what to do about this jungle cruise looking boat up ahead of us.

I'm not sure what side of it to go on. Well, it's the rocks driving it. We'll get him on the potty. Should we just call out? Hello. Hello. Would you like to plug your venue? No, no, no, no.

We're doing a podcast. Yeah, a botanical. Yeah, a botanical. Yes, we almost creamed right into it. But we survived. Sorry for nearly corining into the Arab Botanical. Is careening the right word? The Arab Botanical.

Very similar to what's the one over by Flinders? McDonald's. No, there's not a floating McDonald's is there. They could be. We pick up speed. What? I was flowing down so that I didn't careen. All right.

Is careening the right word? Sure. Now we never heard the water. No, we didn't care. All right. Is careening the right word? Sure. Now we never heard the water. No, we didn't. We got a little distracted. Mark, yes. Are you able to just captain this boat calmly quietly while we record the water?

So shut the fuck up. No, no, I'm just saying, are you able to like, because I know that you might need help with captaining. You might need help with captaining. You might need help with captaining. All right, no, you can talk. Just about the water that we're about to record. All right, Mark, if you are just least think, Mark is having a soup.

And he's about to, just a little, it's about to, biscoff last day diaria. Oh, it's, it's like, I feel like if I fart. Oh, God. Pop the tape. Can I just one second, say it? Yeah. A captain who's gonna shit his pants?

I don't know about that. Broden Kelly, do you talk of mutiny? And then then we leave. And then we leave it. All right, here is the water. All right. Here is, Broden is about to record the water. Oh, don't drop it.

Now, should we mention? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shit, there's a boat coming. There's a the water. Oh, don't drop it. Now should we mention? Shit, there's a boat coming. Oh, it's a faster boat. Oh my god James later put intense music under this. Oh my god Let me just fill people in what's happening. Where my captain this is gonna really come into play here There is a larger boat coming right towards us and our convoy boat. It is called the grower not a shower apparently I know exactly what to do here. And the boat is coming right past us. It is zooming us. All the minigames.

It is traveling at immense speeds. And that last stop. And that last stop, our glaswegian is making a maneuver. Somehow moving faster than us, getting in front of us. Well, I slowed down. Oh, okay, we are in a single line boat maneuver

as the grower zooms past us at a good two-hour quarter knots. All right, well done Captain Mark. Thank you so much. Hello. Always getting choppy around here. Having some lunch? The sea is heaving. We've just gone past some people having lunch

on a nice sort of island cafe. The Ponyfish Island, a beautiful little venue, underneath one of the many bridges that connect Southgate to the CBD. It's the Chicago, it's the Chicago of Australia. We're doing a podcast though. We're doing a podcast though. Is there another boat who are you talking to? A lot of people on the bridge.

Well, anti-donut podcast. I'm the captain, I can't see behind me and I need to know these things, that. This is the Abby Chatfield podcast! If you tell them how to give a great load job. But, but play. Now, bro, you can't say that. Okay, things are getting tense.

Did you, I don't know if you've noticed, but after a boat zooms past us in the way that the grower did, the sea becomes quite choppy and it takes a good captain. It's not that bad. Can I just interject? Can I just interject? Can I interject? We are going past one of Antidon's first ever officers.

We in this building over here, Southgate in Melbourne, we were given a gutted cabin of space that used to belong to Huey for Huey's cooking adventures. And we rehearsed in that cavernous space. Going past it now it's bringing back some fond memories. We used to go sometimes to the muffin break at the southgate food court, get yourself a raspberry and white chocolate muffin and a latte and feel a little sick. We're also going past Hama Hall which is is where we performed we were performing later this year Potentially will be performing maybe no, I don't know. Oh, maybe no, I don't know. I don't know

Palai, yeah, my pillow. Oh, I love Palai. But either way, I'm going faster. Yeah, this is really nice mark now. Do we want to hear the water? I would I think I don't know how many minutes we are into this podcast But I would I would love to close this one out We're about to I want to hear the water here with the sound of the water before we do Trust your captain before we do I Want to talk about the fact that we're about to pass under the princess bridge. I call mutiny on you Well, you can't do that. That would make me feel like I call it on my seam mates. I want you to see how I work.

I want you fucking friends. Mutiny is about re-ordering the... I'm kicking you off the lease. Now we are about to go through the center. I was gonna go through the center. The Princess Bridge built in 1888. What else do you know about it apart from what's on that sign?

It was built for a royal visit it was built Uh to celebrate the visit of a royal I can't remember exactly which one That would have been the centenary of Australia King George and anyway, and maybe the guy who eventually became King George I can't tell you exactly it was built for and it actually has the Melbourne The Melbourne shield on it, broden and it actually has the Melbourne, the Melbourne shield on it, Broden, which features the four big, it's sort of a shield and it features four images on that shield. Don't fucking test my knowledge. I'm just going to make sure that there's another boat with civilians on it. Just going to make sure they're not recording a podcast. We're armed, by the way. We have weaponry and guns.

It has, on this shield, it has the four big industries of Melbourne, and at the time, it had something implying whaling, because whaling was one of the big and big. Can I just point out real quick? That's not funny. I don't want to talk about the rival too much, but we went past someone on the rival boat and they had a nice lunch.

Yeah. They seem to have chips and dips. James, did you notice that? Did you notice that? Yeah. James our producer did in an email, tell us to pack sandwiches or a snack. I didn't find it, I didn't read that.

You didn't read emails? You got the email, you didn't read it back. A captain who doesn't check emails? I check my emails, I just didn't read about the chips and dips. Bro, don't be careful what you speak of here, because if you speak of mutiny, you may have an ally. What is that chair, can we talk about that chair? because if you speak of mutiny, what you may have an ally. What is that chair?

Can we talk about that chair? There is some sort of crowning, some sort of, so we've just gone past the Princess Bridge and what is? Right. Yeah, not Princess, mate. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

We are about grains of sand on an endless beach. Your life means nothing. None of that's true. We're on a boat, man. That could be for fuck, is that for moomba? Is that for moomba? Is that for moomba? It's for moomba!

Now there is so much context that a listener needs to hear, right? That's for moomba! If you're listening, we are, we are, boaten pass Burangma, beautiful park across from Hama Hall, Marks or a beautiful throne being loaded into a van. Well, I thought maybe it would have been the King, the King Charles himself. Well, it's the King of Moonba.

The Moonba King. The Moonba King. Brodan has asked the people and realized that it is for the Moonba King. Hello. We're doing, don't swear, there's nice people on this boat. Hello. We're doing it. Don't swear, there's nice people on this boat. We're doing a podcast. The first ever podcast on a moving boat. Zach, I've never seen anyone give less of a shit

than those people did. I thought that there was one like a real thing. Now this is, now, can I just say? This is where things get choppy. A boat just went past us and now the captain must steer the ship over these waves. Fuck be careful.

I am being so good. I am being so good. You need to say to the center of this because they also said that it gets very shallow to the sides. Well they said stick more to the right, which is actually what they said if they meet us from the shore. Yes. So it's both of you are right.

Yeah. I'm more right. Because I'm saying what they say. Yeah, that's true. I think we should end this first. And there will be more boat podcasts because this is boat month. Hey, it's Melbourne Gramers. Yeah, I was just about to say, as we pass, we are now passing all the private schools, um, boat, a yachting yacht houses. And as we like to keep this podcast a political and not political, I would like to get a recording of the water

and stop recording before I say anything. Yes. And before James, one of our producers, starts telling them when to row because James used to, row! This is why I'm chatting a thing. But he didn't row.

He stood at the back of the boat and bullied everyone. Did you? I believe that was the, that's the rock. Sorry. That's fuck. That's the first ever podcast on a boat. Well Broden just impressed the shit out of these children by telling them this is the first ever podcast

recorded on a boat. They don't know what to do with themselves. They feel like they've just met Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. DiCaprio.

Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio.

Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. Yeah, DiCaprio. There's a duck in the ocean, it's heading right for us. The duck is heading right for us. Oh, they got a change course.

It the duck almost creamed into us. Bro, you impressed all those Melbourne grammar kids by doing a podcast on a boat. And they could all impress you with their kitchen island bench. Yeah, they're all rich. Yeah, they're fucking parents will pay for. Now, now let's get that water sound. Let's, I want to take this podcast out with the delicious

sound of the heaving ocean as it is today on the Yarra River the first ever podcast recorded on the water in a boat and Here we go. We're about to hear it is. We're about to hear exactly. Amanda's took off his headphones when they said those things about the rich kids. I don't believe in class. I don't believe in class. I'm sorry I said anything about the rich kids. I just want to say, I just want to say, it's not the people.

I just want to say, Brodin's had quite the polar opposite experience of telling people we're recording a podcast on a boat. The children were in awe. They went, oh! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off!

And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off!

And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off!

And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! And you cut me off! a full spectrum because Broden just had some men laugh at him. Yeah. Hey, and the kids are back. And the kids are back. They're following us. Oh my god, they're following us. Speed up. You can't go any faster than three nights.

Broden, we're going to go to the sound of water. But when we get back, when we get back, I need to talk to you about my thoughts on the captain. Yeah, great. That's really good. That'll drive me to the next episode. Oh man. There's a man just staring at us. That'll drive to the next episode. Oh man. There's a man just staring at us with his hands in his pocket.

Where? Oh, hello. Look at that. He's just not breaking eye contact at all. That is intense. That's the most intense thing I've ever seen. You've never seen three men making a podcast on a boat? He's watching every movie. He hasn't moved.

He may be a statue for all I know. This is entirely a little... Are we driving past the tan? No, a statue for all I know this is entirely a little isn't are we driving past the tan no we're not no this is not a 10 we're close to the 10 we're right the tan here's the sound of the water here we go beautiful stuff there from Broden recording the sound now if you're if you're sleeping if you're going to sleep to this, which I imagine you are, that's really going to knock you out. The serious severe issues. Yeah, I know.

I'm going to listen to three. Let's get a little bit more, and then we'll wrap this up. A little bit more of a sound of the river. While we do, we'd opening ceremony commentary. OK. And here we go. That's the sound of the river there, signifying the water that runs through Melbourne or now.

It's a river. It's water from the river in the river, and much of the terminology, but either way that is the beautiful sound of the water. Broden wanted to capture the sound of the very water the podcast was being recorded on. It's being held up by. It's being held up by. Without the water in this river and without the sound of that water, where would we be? Right, land.

So let's say that's the end of this podcast. Join us next week where we will continue our journey to Herring Island and Zach and Broden are going to be having a conversation about the captain and Mark. And Mark will be involved in that. I want to be involved in that. You don't want to hear some of the things that I say. I think I do. I think you want to hear some of the things I have to say about that and we'll find that

out next week. Yeah. You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-up episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week! Listen up.