Aunty Donna Podcast - Broden, Zach & Queen Pissbottom

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Thanks for listening to another episode of Queen Pissbottom & Broden. Pick up your “drool is the piss of the mouth” t-shirts from our web shop now.  LINKS  Tickets to the USA dates of our DREM World Tour are on sale NOW! Buy them here https://tour.auntydonna.com/ Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig  Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/  CREDITS   Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Michael Campbell, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh   Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

US and Canada. We've just announced tour dates for our brand new live show DREM, which is touring across Australia, New Zealand, UK, Ireland, US and Canada. Pre-sale begins 15th of May at 9am PDT. Head to www.andydonda.com for more details and grab those tickets quick. A listener production. Hey, welcome to Queen Piss Bottom and Broden, a weekly lifestyle podcast that takes you through all the ups and downs of getting through it. This week we're joined by a very special guest from the comedy world, Aunty Donna, Zach Rewane, who talks about all the journeys of making comedy in Australia in 2025. As always, you can support us on our Patreon, Queen Piss Bottom and Broden.

Head there right now. And then we talk about the owners of Coco Pops. Enjoy this episode! It's Queen Piss Bottom and Broden. Yes! It's Queen Piss Bottom and Broden Kelly. Oh yes! Queen Piss Bottom and Broden Kelly Queen. I'm Queen Piss Bottom, He's a Broden Key.

Lee. Enjoy the episode. Welcome to Broden and Queen Piss Bottom, a weekly podcast where we go into all the things of lifestyle. And today I'm Broden Kelly and this is, I'm a guy who loves his sport. If you're the first time listening, a guy who loves his sport, loves his politics and news. And I'm joined as always by Queen Piss Bottom. I'm Queen Piss Bottom. And you know, I love many things. I love the Royals, Royal Crowns, the cookie. And I love ruling over the eight kingdoms

of Rye. That's right, Queen Pissbottom. And as always, we're joined by a very exciting guest every week to talk about their lifestyle. That's right. Today, Zachary is known for being a member of Australian comedy group, Aunty Donna. He's also involved in other projects such as Funtime Film Club at Leto Cinemas in Melbourne where he introduces and presents films. Additionally, he co-hosts a podcast called Mish and Zack Podcast. He's also the co-creator and performs on stage in a show called Refused Classification. Please welcome our guest this week on Broden and

Queen Piss Bottom, it's Zack. Hello, thank you so much for having me. It's very lovely to have your arm. I'm such a big fan of the podcast as well, I love all of your work, Queen Piss Bottom. I basically know how to drink cups of tea and eat scones and the best, correct? What about tiny sandwiches?

I know all of these things, I've watched all of Queen Piss Bottom's etiquette videos, I've watched all of her things. I've watched all of Queen Pissbottom's etiquette videos. I've watched all of her. I've basically read all of your books. So it's a huge honour to be here. And Broden, also a fan, I've worked with you a lot in Auntie Donna, but thank you so much for having me on the podcast. And so, Asi, if you've listened to any episodes,

you know, we start with the five questions that were built by Bia Nalpivo. Mm-hmm. Bia Nalpivo. Queen Pissbottom and I. First one. Bia Nalpivo. Whatia Nalpivo. Queen Piss Bottom and I. First one. Bia Nalpivo. What gets you up in the morning? Oh wow.

Wow, what gets me up in the morning? Listen, for me, and I think you'd identify with this Queen Piss Bottom. Oh yes. Yeah, I think it's just a love of just manners and correct behaviour and how to hold oneself. You're speaking my language. Yeah, I think Queen Pissbottom can talk to that.

You are absolutely speaking my language. Because Queen Pissbottom talks about that all the time. Yes, we are. My whole family thrives on correct etiquette and making one feel like a proper little lady. Now, Queen Pissbottom, I actually have a question for you. Do you mind if I just move off the question for one second just to ask a question of Queen Piss Bottom? The show has a structure.

It's a tight structure. We don't like to deviant dabble. Yeah, no, that's okay. I understand, and that's why I asked and I am politely accepting. But keep it, hold onto it like an air, like a male air in your bosom. Queen Pissbottom, how do you feel about, because I believe Zach's got something to run with here and I don't want to...

It's not a run, it's just one really quick question. If it's quick, I shall allow it. Is that manners, Queen Pissbottom? It's manners, manners of maybe the hound carer. Very similar manners to something that the hound carer would have. Manners of the hound carer. A lower sort of, lower in the house. Yes, but you know manners are manners.

And you can't expect everyone from every ocelot of society to have the same sort of manners. Queen Pissbottom. You weren't brought up with a silver spoon in your mouth and piss all over your bottom. So I can't expect you. Queen Pissbottom. You weren't bought up with a silver spoon in your mouth and piss all over your bottom. So I can't expect you. Queen Pissbottom was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and piss all over her bottom. Whereas how my family got their name.

I come from a long line of people who piss all over their... You know, the wells were people who owned the well. And Mr. Bricklayer was the man who laid bricks. My family pissed on our own bottoms all because of splashback. Pissed on their own bottoms. It was a splashback family. Also because they were fucked in the head from incest.

Well yes, lots and lots of incest. Constantly sisters fucking brothers and brothers sucking cousins and cousins fucking mothers and mothers sucking sons. And now they piss on their own bottoms. It wasn't until they got the German bloodline in that, and then I think a few Swedes, they started going out of the family that they stopped pissing on their own bottoms. They got their own, they went back to five fingers. We needed to breathe the drool out of us.

We were all coming out drooling all over ourselves. It was sloppy as all over. Queen piss bottom, as you say, and we have it on T-shirts in our website, drool is the piss of the mouth. Drool is the piss of the mouth. It always has been. I have one of those shirts by the way. I'm a huge fan. I know people say that. I am a huge fan.

Yeah. Now what was your little quick question? So the little quick question is, about two episodes ago, you mentioned that if you have a handbag at a restaurant you need to use one of the hooks under the table. Now a lot of modern restaurants don't have hooks under the table. In that circumstance is it okay to put the bag on the ground or is there another place to put the bag? No, you bring your own hook.

What? One, when entering a restaurant must be prepared for no hook under the table. I agree it is something that has been lost to time. But I bring my own magnetized hook and a little magnet. I put one part of the magnet on top of the table. Queen Pissbottom brings her own magnet and hook. You must bring your own. You can get them on Amazon.

You know like the button on a blazer sometimes always never, if you have three buttons, if you have two it's sometimes never and then if you have one it's sometimes. Sometimes always never. But so there's a saying in British culture, a magnet and a hook is good for the... I'm not British. You're not British? I'm just saying though for the British people there's a saying. What are you? You're not British? I'm just saying though for the British people there's a saying. What are you? I'm Czechoslovakian.

Okay. Czechoslovakian. Czechoslovakian. Czechoslovakian. So a souvlakiian is someone who eats souvlaki. But they always make sure it's got the right fillings before. Which is tzatziki and lamb Oh, wow, and chippies. So you check this of luck you check this of luck in yeah. Wow Check this of lucky in my tummy. Anyway, you can carry on. I that's a fascinating answer I'm gonna hop right on Amazon as soon as this is question number two Who is your favorite servant and what is it that they do for you that makes them your favorite? Well, you know, it's just, yeah.

You see this character is kind of regal. Now I'm prepared for this question because I know you ask every week and I know a lot of the middle class and working class and like normal people that are on the show don't normally have an answer, but I've been thinking about it, right? And I read somewhere recently that when you think about, you know, chat GPT, when you think about Uber Eats, when you think about, you know, in a lot of, or Uber even, in a lot of ways, because of technology, we all have a butler or a cook or a servant in our house. That servant though now is our mobile telephone. A robot, yes. Gemini. You know, it used to be just people like yourself and the others and they would subjugate people

like me and Broden and we would be subjugated by you and what would happen is we would have to do things and you would get to eat whatever you want. You'd get to... But now, telephone, you can have that done for you. So there's less of a purpose for people like you. What? Nothing. Anyway, next question. What sound or noise do you love?

Do you know this is going to sound cuckoo bananas, but I actually like the sound of chalk on a chalkboard. What? What? That a chalkboard. What? That is absolutely crazy. What? It makes my spine go ding-a-ly, ding-a-ly doom. What do you mean? Explain yourself.

What are you talking about? What do you mean? We're sort of just like a fun podcast. That's crazy! I think a few of your younger listeners probably don't even really know that song. No, they wouldn't. No, they know that song. I think it's a good song.

I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a fun podcast. That's crazy! That's crazy! I think a few of your younger listeners probably don't even really know that sound. No they wouldn't. No they'd know the sound of a tippy tapping on an iPad. Or even the squeak on a whiteboard. Yeah maybe, maybe that. Now we've reached that impasse where Mark is running out of energy for the character and this is where things get interesting for me.

Maybe the click of a mouse track pad, maybe they'd know that. Now my intention was to slowly build up to a revolution where we chopped off her head. You and you know such thing! This turn has made everything so much more unpredictable. My house has stood for over a thousand years! What do you love about- And it will not be today that I die, the last of my blood! Fuck me and make me an heir.

I won't be doing that, but I am a huge fan. Love your work. Love all of your work. So this character is a sort of like a Marie Antoinette. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But hosting sort of a commercial podcast like a Call Me Daddy or a KickPod kind of situation. And we kind of do like, question number three, it brings me to question number three. Great, great.

What is your ideal breakfast? Oh, good question. You know, there would have been a time where I would have said, this is crazy, I quite like Gosleme for breakfast. Oh, that's crazy! But I know that- Not for breakfast!

What kind? Spinach and feta. Too oily for me. I like a fresh mango seed. Now mango would be boiled up. Quite hard to come by. With a goose egg. Quite hard to come by.

Yolk is as big as your dick. Why not a goose egg? Mango seed. A mango seed. Which is a pimp, a giant pimp, yeah? Boiled up. Boiled Why, a goose egg? A mango seed. A mango seed. Which is a pip, a giant pip, yeah? Boiled up. Boiled up with a goose egg. It's a real, I don't know if you know this,

but where and when Piss Bottom comes from. Czechoslovakian. And the 18, maybe even 16, 1700s. Who knows? The mango seed is a sign of great wealth because it's very hard to grow in Europe. From the Caribbean or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Question number four. Sure, sure. What house do you despise the most and how would you take them down given the opportunity? Well, I think that whole system here in wherever we are, that whole system for me, I used to be a part of it. My father was a servant. My mother was a simple piss bottom cleaner. She cleaned the piss off of your family's bottoms.

Oh, a dynasty of its own. Until she was kicked out of the castle. Why, for whatever reason? For simply trying to clean too much piss. Apparently your mother said that she wanted a little bit of piss on her bottom. My mother told me Taylor is the servant who once was so eager to clean the piss off our bottoms, she had to have her executed. Hung and quartered in the town square.

You love hung and quartered. I do love that. Hung and quartered for all to see, limbs torn off, each one placed in a different district. Mark loves hung and quartered. He tries to get hung and quartered into everything. Hang them all I say, quarter them into neat piles. Put their head on a pike. She's so fun and I love this podcast. And may I say, perhaps there was a little boy, a little boy in that town square

seeing the murder of his mother. And perhaps he vowed that day to kill all piss bottoms. No, I was told that little boy was caught and quartered and hung out for all to see. I saw the bones myself. Did you see him killed? I saw the body but it was charred black. I burnt him first before they showed him. But I was assured by my guards that it was definitely them. Well that must be. I've only heard stories for I am a simple lord from a land far away that you've not heard of.

Yet you say your mother was a piss bottom cleaner? Oh sorry, did I say that? I must have misspoken. I must have heard of such a thing. I must have misheard. So you've come here for the first time after 30 years away and you're a lord from a far off town. I've never been to this part but I love this podcast. I'm a big fan. I love both of you and nothing to worry about.

So yeah, Captain Pissbottom. Captain? Yeah, really. I was a captain. Reginald Pissbottom. You kill hung and quartered a servant who cleaned piss bottoms. What, too much?

Was too eager to clean the piss off our bottoms. So you had them hung and quartered in the town square. Yes we did, as we do before, even the smallest of disobedience. Who had loads last time you hung and quartered? Um, last Tuesday I hung and quartered a raven because the raven came into, I thought it was peeking at my bosom as I undressed and bathed. Involuptuous bosoms. Yes, a maiden was cleaning my genitals,

which is both a clean and a clear. Where they clear. Did a clean and clear? Yeah, a clean and clear. I'll go and get a clean and clear, 30 bucks at the barber. I love to get a clean and clear. You know, when they put a little pipe up your bottom

and wash it all out. And a raven came and I thought that raven seems like it's maybe spying on me. Captain Pissbottom here. So I had it hung and quartered. Hard to hang a raven. Don't know if you've ever tried. But you don't do it literally. You've got a hung and quarter, yeah?

I've got a hung and quarter, but I love to watch. Have you always had the same hung and quarter? No, I had to hung and quarter my last hung and quarterer.? No, we had hung quarter, my last hung quarter. He hung and quartered too much, too eager for it. So you've got one though. So you've got to find that right middle ground. Yeah, someone who's like, I'll do the task. I don't love to do it.

In fact, I'd rather be cleaning piss from bottoms, but not too much. How low, and what if they're apathetic about it? What's, give me an example. That's a hanging quarter for sure. Can I just ask a question of you? Of course. It's funny you say there's one, I always thought you had a hanger and a quarter. When did you, those two roles get, what's the word where it's consolidated?

Our overheads were far too much. So we had to combine the roles. We sort of did a restructuring. You brought in someone to do that? Yeah, yeah. It was two. We found that to pay both a hanger and a quarter, when one person can do both quite easily, we were spending far too much.

So I had them hung a quarter. Well, you didn't just let them go. You hang and quartered the one you made. I saw the Dark Knight and I loved the Joker. I loved that character. So I brought them into a room, I got a pool cue, I snapped it in half. I threw it on the ground and I said, you know, it is time for aggressive expansion. He literally just did Heath Ledger's Joker.

Yes, yeah. Well, you know, he's one of the greatest heroes of the 20th century. That's so cool, I'm such a big fan of yours. Captain Piss, Queen Pissbottom. Yeah. What, for the layman, what is a hanging quarter? Genuinely, I'm asking.

You don't know what a hanging quarter is. I know what the hanging bit is, I don't know what the quartering is. I'm pretty sure it's a fifth thing anyway. After the hanging, which you know what that is. Yeah, you hang from the neck until they are dead. Until they are choked or, you know, if- Naps next.

That's the greatest thing to see when you hear that Oh wow, that's fucked up. Yes, neck snapping, you know. Why do you pull joy from that? Surely you have, we're eating quail and goose egg for your- We have not And mango seed Is the thing

Is enough to assuasiate you We to assuasiate Assuasiate, assage, assasiate, what is that? I think you've said about four words in one and I like it Assuasiate, yeah, Patrick assuasiate me Not Patrick Swayzey Well, why don't we have a short break? Yeah, throw to some of the beauty creams.

Beauty creams and dancing machines will be talk...what? Do the ad read we gotta do. I don't know what. Yeah, for the clearacil. If you're a teenager or even if you're an adult and you're experiencing that horrible affliction, acne, it's making it hard for you to kiss the boy or girl or those that live between the genders, on the mouth or the pussy or the tits or the dick or the holes in which they like to fuck. Clearasil!

That's right, Queen. Is that okay? He's doing the ad read. Is it okay? Read is it okay? Okay is by me and my sons all of which have perished the black plague Well tonsillitis really you see or speaking of a hanging on a quartering. Why do I like it so much? We have not your gizmos and gadgets. I cannot turn on HBO and watch Curb. Do you want my account? I can give you my password. No I have no access to these things.

Is this still in ad read? No it's changed. We seamlessly slipped away. That's right. That's why Queen Pissbottom, enter now for your chance to win a lifetime supply of Clearasil by going to clearasil.com.au Are we really doing an ad for Clearasil? Because even I'm confused now. Because remember that bit where you said about like sucking off knobs and stuff? Oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. That wouldn't be in a real ad.

No. And you can cut it if you need to. Or at the very least, beep it out. Now I have not- But it's not a real ad, we can keep it. Oh. Because it's not a real ad. We can keep the reference to sucking and fucking.

If it was a real ad, even the beeping wouldn't be enough. Do you understand? Ruin our chances, we'll clear ourselves. I just googled... Sponsor the pod later. Maybe, but I'm sure we've, you just don't bring it up. No, no one will check. Alright.

He'll be right. They'll check. Wash your face, young ones. Get rid of those spots and the pus-filled bumps. And just do the, and enjoy Clearasil because we say at our show, Well, I need not do what you've done it yourself. But you gotta do the slogan. Oh yes, what is it?

I forget. Tell me and I'll say it. You tell me what to do and I'll do it for you. Pissy bottom and clear skin. Pissy bottom and clear skin. Get it while it's hot. Was there any more questions? I got one more ad read as well.

Ah sure sure sure. Did you just do the Nike ad read there? Yes. They say just do the Nike ad read there? Yes. They say just do it. But sometimes it's hard to just do it. How does one just do it without spending $200 on shoes? Really, really, this is an approved ad.

Yeah. Because that's probably the worst thing they would want you to say, in my opinion. The only way to do it is to go into a Nike store, Nikey, Nike, and spend copious amounts of gold on shit that's made, you know, that is made for cheap but not made cheaply. Um, I think. I don't know really. So you're telling me this ad read approved by the- He's reading off a piece of paper.

I'm reading the words that are given to me. You're saying they're okay with saying they're made cheaply, they're too expensive and have a lack of clarity on their pronunciation of the phrase. I'm a queen. What it says there. I'm a queen, I improvise not.

I read what is given to me by my high scholars and maesters. We've got that other ad-raid there as well, just for... Oh yes, of course. Nerf. Pretend you have a real gun and shoot your brother in the face. Really? But for fun, without the consequences. But I just feel like with all of the bad press around the guns stuff... The new Fortnite Nerf guns are on sale now for the kiddies and biddies. You can get one at Kmart. That's right Queen Pissbottom, shoot your brother

in the face with a gun. Wow. At Nerf. Cause I have a podcast, I have two podcasts and the idea of these being, like these are the craziest ad reads I've ever heard. In this world, in the beauty sort of lifestyle lifestyle world we get a lot of ads. And it's about authenticity I suppose. And just the Coco Pops one. Yes. Crack, barrel and punch. A wonderful way to experience breakfast.

It's what I'm used to but I desire something sweeter. Something more in the cocoa realm the Ethiopians are known for their cocoa and we perform slave labor to get it really really there's an acknowledgement of the bad practices of the chocolate industry in this adry. It's not on my piece of paper. Nestle, the worst company in the world. Is Nestle the makers of cocoa pops? Who cares it says here to mention it. Wow. But they're not addressed whether they're the ones that make it. I believe it's Kellogg's. But even then I feel like Nestle, like that's very libelous, you know, like, no, it's amazing. I just, I've never heard

an ad read like this before. It's crazy. You've done like five in a row that are blowing my mind. They're taking, you know, it's the PS2 era all over again. Big swings. Yeah. Get David Lynch in to direct your ad. It's that sort of thing. Wow. That's crazy. Looking up in Wiki, they have no connection. Yeah, I know. But why was it in the ad? I don't know.

I presume it's to attack their competitor, but I feel like Nestle would sue over something like that. I have servants, but I am but a slave to the adories. They also own Pringles. Who does? Kellogg's. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Kellenova. But who owns Kellogg's? Kellenova. Kellenova. Who owns Kellenova? Yeah, no, please, go have a Skrullzac, I can't, but anyway. Now we have to get to the bottom of this.

I know it stops the podcast dead in its tracks, but. But, you know, that's how we make our money. It's how we make that sweet coin. You just do that read for Foxtel there as well? Yes, Foxtel. I bet you would think it was too easy to just go to one streaming platform and be able to download it and pay for it through that. With Foxtel, you need Hubble. Go through Hubble for Binge. Why do I have

to go through Hubble for Binge? Why can't I just go through Binge? Hubble, I don't even know what Hubble is, but you must go through Hubble for Binge. Subscribe to Binge, no longer does it have any shows from HBO, Australia. So what's the fucking point? Find out, subscribe to Binge, and guess what? You can pay, but still get ads. So pay more, pay more for no ads. It's fair, we think, we think it's only fair that you pay get ads get

annoyed by them what's this he's doing an ad raid for binge and Fox tail I can't just get binge go through Hubble for business why why why why must you go through well they've got max now and you can get Max through Hubble, but I believe it's four dollars more if you get it through Hubble than if you just- What is Hubble? What is it? I know not! This is the script.

It's what it says, I just read what's keeping it to me. Go through Hubble for Binge! Go through Hubble for Max! Pay more! What is Hubble? Turn it over, there's more on the other side. If you like Hubble. Go through Hubble for max pay more What is Hubble? Turn it over this more on the other side if you like Hubble if you like binge you're gonna love Hubble You need to pass through it

You must pass through Hubble to get to binge or KO What then what the fuck is KO? Sports only. Sports only. But you must go through Hubble. An unnecessary step. So, yeah, do it or don't. Either way, be damned to the depths of hell. Ah, I wish for death.

We're at that second impasse now. I pray, I pray for this day and the weight of rule weighs heavily upon me. And welcome back. And welcome back. Now Mark, you were telling us, I mean, Queen Pissbottom, you were telling us about what hanging and quartering is.

Of course. We love to see a man's neck snap because we have not Hubble, we have not Binge, we have not Coco Pops to keep us entertained. So the only thing that we have- Coco Pops entertain you? Well just hearing that snap, crackle and binge. But don't you feel like the snap, crackackle pop is nullified by the cocoa layering on the rice bubbles?

Know what I mean? What do you mean it's nullified? Well I feel like the Snap, Crackle pop is less prevalent in a cocoa pop than it is in a rice bubble. A rice bubble and a cocoa pop are the same dear, but they've been kissed with the taste of brown. Are you hearing this shit? It's like deep research on Kellogg's parent company.

Okay, so what I've got so far... Did you not hear what he just said? Say exactly what you just said. I mean, piss bottom. I said, the Kolo Pops are the same as Rice Bubbles, but they've been kissed by the taste of brown. Yeah, great. Are they not?

The snap, crackle and boop. My belief is that Coco Pops- And that's in an official ad read? No. Crazy. No, this is just a lighthearted conversation. Okay, so it turns out, um, oh wow. Zach, please. This is a podcast, man. Don't go deep lore. Tell us now or be damned.

So, um, Calogs is owned of course by Cala Nova, which was recently acquired by Mars Inc. Now Mars Inc doesn't just own Calava, it also owns, it has three different areas. It's got the snacking, food and pet care area. So Mars obviously has all of its M&M's, Snickers, Twix, that sort of thing. Also has Orbit and Extra, the chewing gum. They also have food brands. They own Calogs, but also Ben's Original, Dow. The rice. have food brands they own Kellogg's but also Ben's original, Dal's, the rice and they also own a lot of pet care brands so pedigree, whiskers that sort of thing. And who owns them? They are owned funnily enough by the Mars family. Now the Mars

family, the Martians have come down. I'll keep digging into this, but you carry on. They have bought all our companies. It's not important, Sang. No, no, no, I think this is important. I mean, what we're seeing here is, you know, the use of branding and IP in order to cover up the fact that huge amounts of the food, snacking and pet food industry is owned not just by one company, but one family. Now what that means in terms of scarcity, in terms of food scarcity, is really fascinating. Now I do have to dig back into the research, so if you can keep riffing with this character,

I'll get back to you in a few moments. So all right, I was quite enjoying that. It gave me a bit of a break. Tell me what hanging quartering is. Well, it's the, what that's, oh yes, you wanted to know what it is because I was telling you that you know, it's our only form of entertainment to see the life taken from a man, but then see them disemboweled because there's the... They cut in four? Yes, but there's the gutting before that. They're hung, gutted first, which is,

so after their neck is snapped while they're hugging, their belly is... Hanging. Hanging, you know, they're hanging. A man... It's past tense and current tense. Hanging. Present tense.

A knife is taken and their belly is sliced open A man. Past tense and current tense. Hanging. Present tense. A knife is taken and their belly is sliced open by the gutter. Now we're thinking of down, we're thinking of downsizing yet again, making the... Because you've got a specialty gutter. Yes, at the moment. But we're thinking of one job for all three. Yeah. Makes no...

What year is it? It's 2025. Why do you, why do you's 2025. How do you exist? I exist in a small pocket of the world. Called Melbourne? Yeah. West Brunswick. It sort of just happens, you know, just on my block.

When were you born? I was born 1984. So Mark was born 1984. So Mark was born in 88. So you're five years old. Yeah, why not? But you know you're not from like the French Revolution yet? I don't know.

I don't know. Come on man, bring it. It matters not. Bring it Mark! They're gutted! Their guts are spilled for all to see! Then they are cut! Have you ever hung and quartered someone?

No, I did not get my hands dirty. I leave that for better men to perform. For Robbie Williams? I leave that for the producers of Better Man to do who love it. I've enjoyed this. I think it's great. This is fun. They love to lose, lose what, a hundred million?

Now we're just going to cross back over to investigative journalist Quill Award winning Zach Ruane who's breaking down the corporate conglomerate. Now obviously, obviously I'm doing this in real time so I want to be very clear we can't draw any editorial sort of assumptions from this or conclusions. I'm just in that process of the research but what we found here now is that Mars Inc is owned by the Mars family. Let me tell you a little bit about the Mars family. The Mars family was started, they're a very private family. They're a very private family. They are ranked, in 1988 they were ranked as the richest family in the United States.

They've now fallen behind the Walton family and the Koch family or the Koch family. The Koch family. The Koch family, that's how you pronounce it. Of Goggins fame. They're also very private. Most of them, they never do interviews, fewer seen in public with the exception of Jacqueline Mars and Victoria Bea Mars.

So they own Coco Pops? They own Coco Pops. They own Coco Pops, yes. Yes, they own Coco Pops. Of course, their great-great-grandfather Franklin Clarence Mars started Mars Inc, which is, we don't know for sure because it is a private company, but we believe it is the third largest private company in the world. What was the first thing they did?

What was their, where did they get their wealth? I can't tell you. Was it the Mars bar? Probably. Probably, but I will tell you, in 2006, the Mars family was among 18 billionaire families starting in the 1990s who continuously lobbied Congress to eliminate the estate tax. So that's where some of that chocolate money is going. And I also wanted to note that as of April 2020, the combined private fortune of the family members was estimated

around $126 billion. Wow, that's there it is. That's a lot of big bucks. Yeah, that's where those Benz Rice, that Benz Rice is going, that Benz Rice money. That's a lot of Benz Rice. Very interesting stuff. Now, I guess our last question, Zach, is what are you listening to at the moment?

Yeah, every day I listen to the last song my mother played for me. I can't, I don't have it recorded. You can cut your head off. She sang me a song. She used to play a small instrument, a humble instrument. Lindsay, have you got like some dramatic Game of Thrones type music? Yeah, even just like a simple guitar or harpsichord or anything in that realm. Epic or... Yes.

I hear it in my mind. Turn it down a tiny bit. I hear it in my mind every night. I know this track. Well, how can you hear it? She never recorded it. It plays inside my mind. Let me play it for you now.

Here I go. It's also, I believe, I think, uh, it's been in other episodes. Yeah. This, this is the last song my mother played for me before she went to work. The last song I heard, but not the last time I saw her face. The last time I saw her face was the day she was hung and courted by your mother. What?!

The day that I- It all came together! I revealed, I decided I would kill every one of the piss bottoms. I'm confused. was hung and quartered by your mother. What?! The day that I- It all came together! I reveal, I decided I would kill every one of the piss bottoms. I'm confused. You thought it was the black plague that killed your sons? No, it was me. Really?

Yes. Are you- are you the black plague? Uh, no. No, I gave them tonsillitis. How? Uh, I got tonsillitis and I gave them them kisses. I don't think tonsillitis is transferred that way. Oh okay and then I um and then I poisoned them all. I poisoned them. My partner, my wife has tonsillitis at the moment. We've been kissing a lot I never seem to get it.

I also poisoned them. Oh. Now... You know what? Now I want you to speak for yourself, Brodick Kelly. I know that you're a hard worker man. You came from working class, middle class roots. You've built this empire, this podcast empire on your own. But I'll tell you how you've done it. You've done it by laying with this evil person. But here's the biggest twist of all.

Oh, right. He's pulling off a mask. Okay. I'm your mother. To be continued. No. Yeah we can go with it. To be continued.

To be continued. I'm your mother. No no you're my mother yeah. To be continued never. No we can continue this. It doesn't work. We can go continue this. No I want to do an Elite of Battle Angel.

This just got even. To be continued never. No, we can continue this. If it doesn't work, we can go continue this. I want to do an Elite of Battle Angel. This just got even deeper. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by Aunty Donna Club.com. See you next week!