Aunty Donna Podcast - Chrissy For The Kids (A G Rated Episode For The Whole Family To Enjoy)

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

If you’re a parent, skip the first 10-12 minutes.  LINKS  Buy tickets to our DREM World Tour https://tour.auntydonna.com/  Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig   Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS   Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine   Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh   Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener production. Hello, hello, hello. And it's Christmas time. And this episode is just for the kids. Not really, though. Enjoy. We're visited by Santa. Happy holiday season greetings everyone my name is Broden Kelly and I've got some very bad news.

No. I'm not touching the political stuff I'm not gonna go there. I'm just talking like in this. Go there. It's Christmas. I will not. Go there. America has fallen.

Maybe not. The world has fallen. It's not in the spirit of Christmas to talk negatively ever about anything. No. Christmas is all about positivity. Yes. And a beautiful man. But I've got bad news. What? Enough talking about me, Mark. I was talking about Santa Claus. I thought you'd talk about me and my long hard dick.

Well, you're beautiful. And look, I don't know about your doodle. I haven't spoken to them I've heard rumors on the subreddit no enough of that enough enough enough we have some bad news terrible news the podcast is just Mark and I at the moment no one else is here because we had a very we had a very special third guest today and I guess he got lost he He must have maybe lost that Christmas cheer that he's so famous for. So we need your help at home listening little little kiddies. Yes. Because we had a big jolly morbidly obese man with

curly grey hair. Yes. Coming in. He's immortal. Is he morbidly obese? Because I don't know how tall he is. Well not morbidly because he can't die. But. Right. And Tom's here. We need, we should address that. He's been mmmin and yesin and I don't want the listeners to be confused. The little kiddies today that said whatever. Yes, this is a family friendly episode. We've got bad news. Terrible news. A certain immortal morbidly obese figure got lost on the way here. Or maybe people just don't believe in him anymore.

Well that's, yeah, it's the power of belief. People just worrying about shop, shop, shop, retail, retail, retail these days and they don't know that it's killing this certain magical man. Well yeah, because here's my question is, do the Santas and the elves of this world make the toys in the shopping centers or Do they not what are you doing? What are you doing? My brain just fucking Just left me for like a break. I tried to reach out. What were you trying to do? I was trying to well, I mean, I think it was in the we even fucking listening can't because it was pretty clear What I was saying, I don't mean I look.

This is for kids. This is for kids. Chuck your kids. Chuck it on in the car. Little kiddies. I'm sorry about talking about my dick. And I'm sorry for calling Broden probably the worst word in the English language. I wasn't listening. What did you call me? What? I zoned out.

Oh, I said, I look, I don't want to say it again. But needless to say. Zant. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, but in Australia. Yeah. Do you know, at Christmas time, it's X-U-N-T. X-U-N-T.

Zant. Saves time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. I'm gonna call people Zant. Zant. No, Tom, no talking. Fuck off, Zant. Kids, we need-

Kids- Because kids don't believe- kids don't believe in Santa anymore. No, they believe in iPad. They believe in, um, Bob the Builder and Bluey. And all of those things are fictional. Just talk about Christmas shit. The- the- the- the narrative is Santa won't come unless the kiddies believe. Alright? That's what we're going with. Santa can't come unless the kiddies believe. Alright? That's what we're going with.

Santa can't come unless the kiddies believe. No, no! He won't arrive. Right, right. He won't climax. No! He won't arrive to climax? He won't reach the state of being here. Broden, we said you weren't going to be political, right? The states, we know what happened over in the states.

We want to keep this G rated, even PG's too, because I think with PG you can get away with a fucker of shit. No. But we want to be G rated for a good, for good, for good cheer. Santa was supposed to come today to the podcast. Thank God for saving it because I thought you were talking about sperming. No, no, no, no. Broden, mind out of the pants.

Mind out of your gutter pants. Please. I'm sorry. Spermin' and spuffin'. This is a podcast for children. For little babies we made this. We decided we're going to make this podcast for infants straight out of the womb. Well, Tom has a two year old.

Yeah. Would you let your kid listen to this? No, absolutely not. He's into Russian cats on YouTube at the moment. Have you guys seen that? What is the, uh, what are they doing? So there's like all these like animations. I think they're like weird animations, like Bazzee Land and Cocoa Melon.

And there's this Russian cat. cat right and they do like shapes and numbers and tractors in Russian no but the titles are in Russian the subtitles are in Russian well just the titles of YouTube is it dub? It's Vyadov again. It's Vyadov into Russian cat chat but yeah that's what the kiddies are into that's what they're into yeah and cocoa melon what the fuck is a cocoa melon cocoa melon is like the new crack for kids really yeah so why are you saying we do this episode in Russian is what you want us to do yeah yeah yeah dub it maybe we we all right dub do it in Russian but then dub it what's

something that we should say to the kids in Russian? Um, uh, salu? No, no, just say it in your language and I'll have it translated to Russian. In my language. To Russian, which is English. Yeah, English Italian. Um, you know, Australian, there's that WOG mentality, mate. Alright, we'll translate from Wog mentality to Russian.

G'day, g'day kids. How's the weather? How's the, what's it, what's going on over there? Cause I don't even know. Like the Ukraine stuff still happening. Yeah, it's just once again. Well, I'm just, I'm just asking. The kids would be aware.

Because hello kids, how's the weather? How's what's going on there? Because I don't even know. I don't even know. The kids would be aware. I just know this is because, hello kids, how's the weather? How's what's going on there? Because I don't even know. I don't even know. All right, all right. And so this will get the kids on board. Yeah. Hi guys, how's the weather?

How's everything going? Because I don't even know. Well yeah, there you go. Now we've hit that demogra, we've knocked that demographic on the head. But Santa's not here. With a hammer and buried him in the backyard. Santa's not here because kids don't believe.

So we need all the kids at home to start believing. Yeah. And why is it that you don't fucking believe? Like what's happened in your life that's made you so cynical and cold? It's the retail. It's the retail. You think so? It's the retail therapy.

Because therapy is supposed to be good for you. But retail therapy, the only thing it's not good for is my wallet. Yeah, that's true and the bloody and my chump change You know because I'm always pissing that away on chump change. Yeah chump change You know just the change I got lying around I got cash on me Yeah, I've got like quite legitimately for the first time in years. I'm carrying around why I want to poke a game Yeah, that's cool. It wasn't high stage. You get this back to kids magic Christmas. Ah It was for Greg Larson's birthday Yeah, he's like a big kid who's fucked in the head. Yeah, he came on played big mark

Big thick mark. Yeah Well, yeah on played big mark. Big thick mark. Yeah Well, and he is a big thick mark He's he's pretty good at poker. I'll beat him Not a lot. Not by a lot. Anyway, I have the cash. Do you think that why do you worry that the kids aren't believing in sander? I worry that the kids Maybe don't unaware of the value of cash now I kids maybe aren't aware of the value of cash. Now, I want the kids at home, if you're listening, to close your eyes and believe. If you really want Santa here, it will summon him to this podcast.

Yeah, I think we need to do a chant like, I I hope I sent a comma, I hope I sent a cum. Can we work on that? No, no, no, absolutely not. I think it's, I hope I sent a comma, I hope I sent a cum, I hope I sent a comma, I hope I sent a cum. Come on kids, I hope I sent a cum. I really think it's worth working. Why?

Because it's a bit off from my head. I don't know why I can't put my finger on it. I would do this every night before bed Christmas Eve. I just lay in bed just you know swaying back and forth. Sweating. Oh, I hope I sent her come on. I hope I sent her come on. And nothing blue, nothing rude. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter. C-O-M-M. Alright I'm on board. Alright. Come to my house. Kids, if you're listening in the, wherever with your parents,

sorry about the first 10, 12. Oh yeah, skip, skip the first 10 to 12 minutes if you're a parent. Unless you've already put this on, in which case. And the name of this episode will be, if you're a parent, skip the first 12 with the kids in the car. No, I think we just call it like Chrissy for the kids. Okay, alright, good idea.

Alright, alright, let's do it kids. If you really believe at home and you want to make Santa arrive, then chant with us, I hope that Santa come-a. I hope that Santa come-a. I hope that Santa come-a. I hope that Santa come-a. I hope that Santa come-a. I hope that Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come, I hope a Santa come! Hi, hi. Oh, it's Santa!

Oh, it's Santa! Santa! It is Santa! I'm so fucking sorry I'm late, guys. It's fine. I was 45 minutes early. How are you? Hi, how are you?

Santa Claus. Which one of you was I emailing? Um, I think that was, yeah, Lindsay. Oh, hi Lindsay, I talked to Lindsay before. I am so fucking sorry. That's alright. Bro, it's fine. I've got the shits.

Really? I had the shits this morning. Yeah, so I flew in from North Pole yesterday. I'm doing a quick little um... Little press tour like Ariana Grande. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we were just talking about how the kiddies don't believe in Chrissy anymore. Cynthia Erivo. Oh my Christ, yeah.

No, they fucking, they're so fucking, they don't believe anymore. Yeah. Fuck, have I got a fucking ringy fucking belt? Yeah, me too. My fucking luggage, the cunt at Quantals. Wait, just for the kids, remember this is an episode for the kids So we've been trying to keep it very clean and non-political. I'm sorry Santa. I'm sorry. I'm saying Zant Yeah, we say it Christmas. We say Zant. I know you're in a rush. I know you're in a panic

Did anyone mention that this was a family-friendly? Well, the title of the episode is Chrissy for the Kids, a J rated episode for the whole family to enjoy. I am so fucking sorry guys. Dude, alright. I'm so sorry. Okay, so skip until 20 minutes in, parents. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard because you won't realise that until you've heard this.

Oh Christ, I keep fucking up, I keep fucking this... Santa! Santa! But we only summoned you Santa! Santa, you gotta not man. Come... Santa! Santa! But we only summoned you Santa! Santa you gotta not man! Come on Santa! Just keep yourself in check man! The K-Frickle!

The Quanta's lost my luggage, this is not my usual Santa get up! Santa! Santa! You gotta be careful with that Santa! Fuck Christ! It's a kids' winter! Oh my god! Santa!

Oh shit! Dude! You're not fucking... I'm so fucking sorry guys! Oh my god I'm so fucking sorry. We're gonna do you understand the more the more swears and tears Yeah, and by tears, I mean of the social fabric of good taste Yes The more swearing tears the more the rating goes up and then this won't appeal to as many people won't make as much money The ratings go up you said though the ratings ratings won't go up I think I tried. You don't have enough money. No we're trying to appeal to a larger audience with this episode.

Just do like the same. I've got cash mate. I don't need it. Oh he's got cash too. Oh my god. Shit you got cash? What do you got cash for? Will that help?

Will that cover it? Man you get a more... Can't it just get more cash to me? I need to just let it out. I've had a shit of a week, boys. Let's drill down on that. Can I swear though? Should we go family friendly?

I can go family friendly. I can do the whole thing. When are we recording? Well, I think what we email... When do we start recording? We go live, man. We're like Marin. We just sort of just start rolling. Is this that annoying? Yeah. Only when you I mean I know you know when you smack it into the microphone you know I like swearing is a sign of low intelligence because if you

need to sweat Santa sorry sorry what I'm trying to say is be more creative with your language, be more colourful, open up a thesaurus every now and then, have a read, it's more enjoyable than you think. I think Lindsay emailing you was to what we wanted was pretty much the Carols by Candlelight vibe where you sort of come out and just go to bed kids kind of thing. Why didn't you just get some old cunt to do that? Santa. Because you're Santa. Santa.

Language Santa. But usually people just hire someone. You get a real Santa Claus in. I know you've got your friend Mish usually does a Santa last year at least. I listened to some of your podcasts. They're all rude. That's crazy. I came here, the Uber here, they put me up at the ground.

Yeah, so that's all been fake Santa and you're the real Santa. I'm the real Santa now. So they put me up at the, what's it called? QT or the Marriott? No, the Creon Metropole, which isn't that far from here. But then I got the shits this morning. You've got to stop talking about that, Centre. Well, I don't know, I just had a bit of a rough mental health day yesterday,

and then I got the shits today. And I feel like there's a correlation. Maybe I've got ideas. No, no, the gut, no, the gut brain connection. Yeah, I always want to understand. I was sick for years because of it. I was sick for years because of it. Because I'm poly with my wife, Mrs. Claus.

Yes. So that's the same as the last. That's the same. Yeah, that's based on truth, I believe. Okay, okay, right. Yeah, yeah, and I'm often, well, I'm often stressed and stuff about that because I'm a jealous guy. I pitched it to her. Alright, John Lennon. So I pitched that to her, the idea of being Polly, because I thought it would mean I'd get my end in,

but she's getting all these matches on the field and I'm so jealous of it. This is for kids. Yeah. What do you mean? This episode is called... Chrissy for the Kids, a G-rated episode the whole family can enjoy. Yeah, right. Nope. We genuinely want like...

I think it's okay to say like making love with multiple primary and secondary partners. Well, I've fucked hardly any. I've hardly made love to anyone. She's off every night. She's bringing them home. I'm like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. And it's fine. Do you watch? I wanted this.

No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know because the kids don't want to know. Sorry. What is this time of year like Santa? Busy, kind of. Oh. Santa! Tom!

Hi, Tom. What do you do? What's your usual? What's your thing? He's not supposed to be here. So yeah, I just was here 45 minutes for the next episode. So I just left him here. Yeah, because I don't remember. I listened to a couple on the way here and you weren't on them. Yeah.

I listened to the Santa one where you had a, very progressive, you had a woman playing me, very progressive. And then I listened to one about chicken in a bag. Yeah, that was me. Oh, was that you? Yeah. You're the music guy. The music chicken in a bag guy.

Very talented, works fast. Santa, I have a Christy question for you about retail therapy and Christmas. We shorten everything in a... I'm so sorry. Can you understand our thick accents? Yes, yeah, you're quite... I can't even tell if you're New Zealand or Australia. Right.

It's so early. Right. No, this is just broad Australian. Like, if I was overseas, I would slow down and speak a little clearer, but this is pretty much how I talk. I wouldn't talk like this, and if I was in Japan, I would be like, do you know where the Ginza line is? The line to get into Ginza?

No, the Ginza line. Oh, the Ginza line. The train line. Oh, the train line. Tokyo Metro Ginza line. Of course, the Ginza line. You're giving gifts out in... are you okay? Do you need five? It's just a week.

I was meant to fly, um... I flew Qantas here. You don't fly yourself? You don't fly with the reindeer and the slave? We get a special exemption. It's technically animal cruelty, but we get a special exemption on Christmas Day. Same way the Inuits are allowed to do whaling. I'm allowed one day a year I'm allowed to make the...

Because we lose four of them a year. Really? Oh yeah. Yeah it's tough. So is it like a James Bond situation where you just replace them but keep the same name or have the names updated? James Bond? No, change the names. You know like it's the same character. Sure. You know so like it's the same character. Sure. You know, so there's always a Rudolph. Oh, so I would say like Eddie from Frasier. Oh, the dog.

Oh, did the dog change? It's more of a rank. So the one, you know, Rudolph's always the one at the front. It's less of a name, it's more of a rank. Right. That's the one where we surgically removed the nose and had a light bulb.

Really? Was the original and had a light bulb. Really? Was the original a natural thing? Yeah. But then he died on the second go round. It's hard for a reindeer to fly. Physically, it's a lot of weight. It's a lot of set that's in the middle. Yeah. What if like I don't make it I'm sorry for all the kids listed Yeah, they probably need to know this if a reindeer like breaks its leg That I break their legs. Usually it's an internal hemorrhage. So what's happening is I reckon just talk about toys and like Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that. We're flying very fast very high in the atmosphere So they're kind of compressing inward and forward that essentially, I mean, essentially they're bleeding from the mouth a lot of the time.

Wow. Jesus Christ. Sounds horrible. Bleeding from the mouth screaming. What's the, what's the average lifespan on a, on a reindeer? One of mine? Yeah. Do you have to use them? Why don't you just use fucking- It's a cultural thing. On a reindeer? One of mine? Yeah. Four, two is max.

Do you have to use them? Why don't you just use fucking- It's a cultural thing. Yeah, what are you doing with the- Fuck that cultural shit. Yeah. What are you doing with the meat? Well, this is what I've got.

I used to, 100 years ago, I would have flown here with them. Yeah. They're no good for meat. Well, yeah, after four years, yeah, it'd be tough. Isn't that venison? Or is that deer? Deer, reindeer? I guess it'll be tough.

Four is max. Four is max. Two is the usual. Yeah. So, so usually, so now we fly Qantas. I've got a thing with Qantas. I'm in the lounge. Oh, nice.

You know, the one with the polys. Oh, the big lounge. Yeah, yeah. The chairman's lounge. Yeah, the chairman's lounge. It's sick, man. And you get in the ear of all the pollies and stuff. It's awesome.

I'll just go up and go, hey, you know, like noticing you're calling it holidays now, maybe we could rethink that. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. Plus, you get sushi. It's sick. Yeah. Sorry, sorry. What did you want to talk about? get sushi at sea. Yeah. Um,

Sorry, sorry. What did you want to talk about? I just, I literally just be like, Christmas, Merry Christmas, everyone. Yeah. And it's to get the, uh, the kiddies to believe in Chrissy, uh, once again, because faith seems to be dwindling across the board. Yeah. And the spirit of Christmas and you know, it's not about shopping. It's about family.

And that's important. Why? Well, I don't know you what you do You don't know why that's important Don't you exist purely off the spirit of belief? Yeah, but like Five people believing in Christmas is enough to keep Santa alive And it'd be a lot easier. A lot less reindeer would die. So because I wouldn't have to fly so far. So if less kids believed in me, less would have the internal rupturing and death. So that's the message we'll send out to the

kids today which is don't believe in Santa. Was this seriously meant to be a family friendly one? Yeah. We were keeping it as clean as we could. Can I just give you like, I just need you to say pretty much like, it's not about the shopping, it's not about the retail, it's not about the finding. It's better to give than receive. And then it's about Jesus Christ being born and spending time with family. Alright, one of these ones.

What? Yeah, I know. I've been trying to- Why did you just say one of these ones and then look at him and then just do a, like, tilt your head towards me and roll your eyes? Because you're always pissing and moaning about Jesus Christ. My light and saviour. Yeah. I don't, I know the answer to that. I know whether or not he existed.

Cause I'm... Well he existed. Well I know the truth. I'm not going to share that here. But I also don't care. Why won't, why could you please give this sketch comedy podcast the exclusive of whether the Christian faith...

Yeah, you're gonna break some hearts I reckon. Blah, either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, either way, either way, yeah, whatever you say, yeah, yeah, you're gonna break some hearts. If he was real and he was the son of God, there's a few, that fucking, who's that one, that fucking evolutionary guy? Darwin. Darwin. No, the one, the new one. Oh, Northern Territory. No, fuck, the one that's always banging on about atheism. Yeah. Oh, Ricky Gervais. And Gervais, all them, they'd be

pretty upset wouldn't they? I mean depending what way it goes. Which way it goes, because then also yeah, Pope and shit, he'd be sad. Yeah, depending on what way it goes. Which way it goes because then also yeah Pope and shit he'd be sad. Yeah depending on which way it goes. I'm not, I am actually gonna stay out of that. I reckon it would go if you said he's it's all bullshit and he was just a guy then I reckon then I reckon the Pope and stuff be like that was just a guy called Zach playing him on a sketch podcast. Yeah. But if it went the other way, I feel like Dawkins and that would say that if you went and said Jesus was real and he could walk on water and he did come back from the dead and he was from Immaculate Conception, then yeah, you would say, they'd be like, well, that was just a, that was a guy playing a podcast character. Yeah. Did he turn bread into fish?

I know, I would just defame you or just pretty much say that anything that you said is not really reliable. But I am Santa Claus. That's what I agree. Oh, oh, oh, I have the perfect question for Santa. And this is one that all the kiddies can attest to because we have one of your elves on recently. Oh, yeah, yeah, on recently and they confirmed a suspicion that I always had. Your bones. Can we talk about your bones for a second?

Stop doing the fish thing, mate. I just got to know. Well, it came to my mind because I was asking the question. I can't remember the tail. Are your bones made of calcium? Pardon? Are your bones made of marrow? I don't know if they're made. It's a very personal question. Well they're not made, but yeah there's marrow in marrow? I don't know if they're made. It's a very personal question. Well they're not made, but yeah there's marrow in them. Why don't you fucking mind your business? Hey hey hey hey! Santa!

Is he about to answer the fish question? It's just a, it's a, it's a Look, it's a rumour. Just let it fucking go man. Well I'm happy to talk about my bones. More than happy to talk about my bones bones Let's talk about your bones then but I don't want to talk about my bones I have standard bones you just said I'm happy to talk about my are they made of marrow? They're not made of marrow. They're a marrow in them. Are they made of calcium?

They're not made of calcium, but calcium I believe is a part of their you know, they're they're general makeup Someone well someone watched Doctor House? No, you watched House recently. I haven't watched House recently. Yeah, you were talking about bone marrow and this and that, like you're a doctor, like you've watched the season of House, Mark! Why are you coming at me now? I appreciate this.

You watched House, Mark. Big congrats, Mark! Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being curious. All I'm being is curious. And I know curiosity killed the cat. But I'm not a cat. I'm a man. Alright, House. What? Hey, Santa comes to houses. Do you know House is the Palay on Holmes? Because he's like a Doctor version of Sherlock Holmes.

Oh, I never realised that. Isn't that one of those, you know those fun facts that make something seem smarter? Yeah. That's a fun fact that makes something seem dumber. Yeah. Yeah, because if his name was Sherlock House, the character would suck. Santa. Do you have a message for the kids this year?

Isn't it Holmes with like an L? It's not Holmes, H-O-M-E-S. That's why it's spelled Health. Oh right. Sam, did you have a message for the kids this year? You know, we're doing six weeks of Magical Christmas content this year. That's fucking sick man, that's fucking great. You still love it after all these years?

After all this millennia? How long you been doing this for? Yeah, did you do Chrissy for the dinosaurs? Whoa, whoa. Question from you, question from you, question from you. I am struggling to keep up. Alright. I don't want to go like lively on your ass, but I am struggling to keep up.

Alright. Are you suggesting that kids put on their floral dresses and get out and enjoy Christmas this year? What? Well, that's what she said in one of the promos. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Um, no, I don't know., you know we're in uncertain times politically. We're not touching that.

We're not touching that. We're not going there. We're not going to talk about politics, I'm not going to say anything. All I'm saying is that... Look I'm very apolitical. Yeah. I stay out of it. Didn't you just say you like try and influence politicians in the lounge a certain way or

another? Yeah, but that's what I mean. I don't give a shit where they're from, who they are, so long as I'm getting my... You just love a muck around. So long as they're letting me bring my reindeer into their place and all that shit. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you're more about, yeah, right, like international relations, but for yourself. Think of me as like, because I'm a wealthy guy. I'm a very wealthy guy. Really? Yeah, I invested in art in the 1500s. Well, what do you need money for? I? Got it

right So and your question was what what was your question about what should kids little message for the guys? so What I will say is I don't give a shit who the fucking Prime Minister is of your little country and no one gives a shit Firstly, yeah, I just want to say as someone from the North Pole from the North like no one gives a shit about your dumb shit little country This is for like 10 year olds. I'm saying this to you fucking three and then the other thing To the kids the kids come on. I get it. All Alright, I don't give a fuck who the president of America is. Oh my god.

Santa! Santa! Say Frick! I don't give a frick who the president of the United States is. But, there is a chance he'll be introducing a lot of tariffs. Now if you don't know what that means, let me tell the kids they need to hear this. I don't give a shit about any of that. But what that means, because we have outsourced most of our raw materials, we don't mine

on the North Pole anymore. We outsource the bulk of our raw materials, we buy a lot of them from China now, to make the fucking little bullshit for the kids. The toys. So what I'm saying is heads up. I meant like go to bed man. That's why I wanted to tell him to go to bed because Santa's coming. For fuck's sake. I'll get to that. This Christmas you're fine. What do you mean? He's talking about tariffs, global tariffs. What I'm saying is next year, I don't know which way the market's gonna go, but next year you might not get as much. Next year, I reckon... You're making a political... I'm not making a political... I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Santa. What I'm saying is from... I'm not gonna spend my personal wealth on your

gifts, so what we do is we turn the dial on the naughty nice list. Yeah. Right, this is for you guys, it's not for the kids. Yeah. But we turn the dial on the naughty nice list. Yeah. Right, this is for you guys, it's not for the kids. But we turn the dial on the naughty nice list. Originally, if in harder economic times, we would like just give less presence to all the kids. But what we do now is we just turn up the dial, so there'll be more naughties. So what I'm saying is the higher rate higher rate. Yeah. Yeah. So this year, you could throw a rock at your brother. I mean, morality is is is is connected to economy. Oh, yeah. For me, at least. So last year, if you get present, morality is connected to. Yeah, that's sickening.

Well, who gives a fuck? So anyway, I oh, my God, how many times? Can I give my message to the kids, please? Put some Christmas music on for the Christmas message. If you have it, Lindsay, if you have it on hand, please. Alright, hey kids, can we get that a little lower? Lower in the... Lower in the cans?

Alright. Hey kids, it's me, Santa Claus. You might know me from the funny movie, The Santa Claus, starring Tim Allen, Love that guy. Now due to some tariffs that might be coming in next year, maybe, maybe not, no judgment, I might have less of a supply of raw materials and thus less presents. So what's going to happen is I'm going to turn up the dial on the Naughty Nice list and there's a greater chance you'll be on the Naughty list. So what's gonna happen is I'm gonna turn up the dial on the naughty nice list, and there's a greater chance she'll be on the naughty list.

So if you get presents this year, even though you may be throw a rock at your brother or say the swear word, heads up, I don't want next year, next Christmas, there is a good chance that could get you knocked off the nice list. So- Go to bed. there is a good chance that could get you knocked off the nice list. So, um... Go to bed.

Well, yeah, I'll go to bed, but also go to www.SantaClausNaughtyniceRating.com. It's not my website. It's a sort of a tracker. They track where it's at to keep the latest updates on what is naughty, what is nice. Just like leave out milk and cookies or something. Just like leave out milk and cookies or something. Just like leave out milk and cookies or something. It's too late at that point. We close off the list at the start of December.

It's just for the kid that's, we're saying for the kiddies. Put a carrot out for the fucking reindeer. Bro. No, they can't eat. They can't eat. You don't let them eat? They can't. They literally can't.

Who eats the carrots then? Who eats the carrots? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Merry Christmas and a happy new year from me, Santa Claus.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week!