Aunty Donna Podcast - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2
Episode Date: December 20, 2017See Us Live: auntydonna.com/shows Support Us On Patreon: patreon.com/auntydonnaJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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                                         A list-nuff production.
                                         
                                         What a special time of year.
                                         
                                         What a special occasion.
                                         
                                         The Andy Donner Christmas podcast, which has become quite the tradition in the last two years.
                                         
                                         We've got a special podcast for you today, and I'm sure you're all sitting around with your family, enjoying a Batokki ham,
                                         
                                         Batokki ham's Christmas.
                                         
                                         Tell you what, have a great holiday period ladies and gentlemen, and we'll see you in the new year.
                                         
                                         period ladies and gentlemen and we'll see you in the new year. Oh, it's 15 minutes past the year and I was right coming up to Christmas and
                                         
    
                                         it's time for the jingle bells.
                                         
                                         Lovely classic song, but I'm sure everyone's hearing around the traps at the shopping
                                         
                                         centers or at the the the rent the thibitom nor the carols by camera.
                                         
                                         Now here's the thing, I was talking to my wife
                                         
                                         Susanne I was Susanne I'm pretty busy with the grand kids this time of year and
                                         
                                         she was saying to me is it Mariah Carey the singer yeah she was saying to
                                         
                                         Mariah Carey has has a Christmas song yeah she does a settle lungs on her
                                         
                                         who was where she the way God What a pair of pipes. Yeah, her. She
                                         
    
                                         had a pair of pipes. She fucked Eminem as well. Yeah, she
                                         
                                         fucked Eminem. But does she have a Christmas song? I mean, she
                                         
                                         insisted that she did and I couldn't for the life of me think of
                                         
                                         where I had done it. I think it does. I think it's I think maybe
                                         
                                         Felice Nevy down at all. What a beautiful song Felice
                                         
                                         Nalidardis. And can I just say that a lot of people
                                         
                                         are trying to get in the way of some of the more religious, you know, with their happy
                                         
                                         holidays and I just say, you know, some of those beautiful Christian songs are my big
                                         
    
                                         fan of, and if Mariah did that, that's fantastic.
                                         
                                         Welcome to OutListeners, this evening it's nightline and you're probably driving home from a beautiful dinner or along the lines and bed and you're heading to bed
                                         
                                         More good evening Mark and Zach very Christmas. Thank you so much very Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and your family. I want to know from you
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah this year obviously apart from having a talky ham, what would you be doing Christmas?
                                         
                                         Diane, I don't know if I'm ever listening to what will you be doing?
                                         
                                         Are you first?
                                         
                                         No, I'm not sure.
                                         
                                         No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
                                         
    
                                         I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         I know a lot of people said we're starting to sound like we're in the old home,
                                         
                                         but a few years off later for a while,
                                         
                                         I want to know for me boys, what is your favorite way to spend Christmas?
                                         
                                         Obviously, we're going to be very kids.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
    
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         I've got John Blackman coming up, hopefully, now, who's going to talk to us about his favorite
                                         
                                         movie.
                                         
                                         He's got your favorite movie, but I want to know from you two gentlemen, one at a time,
                                         
                                         for a bit of a cam. Oh, what is your favourite way to spend that Christmas day?
                                         
    
                                         So for me for a bit of a cam, I've got to say, uh, do you get to make it, you know, you get up in
                                         
                                         the morning, you put a little sock off. Before that, you go to the bathroom. Well, no, not since
                                         
                                         I lost, not since I lost at all then. He's got a collot of mist in the back. And I put
                                         
                                         on my head just, sorry, it just sort of goes whenever he needs to. I don't want to make
                                         
                                         things around him, they didn't take a little smelly. So I put out my little socks,
                                         
                                         because I've got tiny little feet, you see.
                                         
                                         So I put out my little socks,
                                         
                                         and then I put out my tiny little shoes,
                                         
    
                                         and then I go out, I tiptoe out,
                                         
                                         and there's a thick layer of snow,
                                         
                                         and it doesn't matter, I don't make a dent
                                         
                                         on them for my dainty feet, you see,
                                         
                                         and I walk over, and I see Santa Claus
                                         
                                         and I take the gun and I shoot it and
                                         
                                         I
                                         
                                         I cut off his head. I hang him from the from the garage and
                                         
    
                                         The warning and it's a warning to allow the trespasses in the property
                                         
                                         It is a magical time of the year isn't it?
                                         
                                         And it's an even more magic with a bit ofucky ham which you get from your local calls all words
                                         
                                         Mark it's a magical time of year and we know
                                         
                                         Spending it with this
                                         
                                         We have a reindeer farm of course very very high a higher-out a rain
                                         
                                         Children reindeer farm of course. We hire out reindeer as the local children. And of course every year we pick a special one, we pick a reindeer.
                                         
                                         And we got him up and we spent the night sleeping inside his dead cow.
                                         
    
                                         It is a magical time of the year.
                                         
                                         Yes and I'll tell you what, if you've ever used a reindeer kidney as a pillow.
                                         
                                         I have.
                                         
                                         If you have?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Well, then you'll know this is just the sort of a rousal one, guess.
                                         
                                         Oh, you see, for me, I've never slept inside a reindeer, but I have used their kidneys as
                                         
                                         a pillow just on my bed.
                                         
    
                                         And Suzanne, she'll come into the room and she'll say, I've got reindeer blood all over the house.
                                         
                                         We keep all our sheep's.
                                         
                                         We use that Egyptian one, and we're like,
                                         
                                         it's a different kind of stuff.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's right.
                                         
                                         This is the white sheep, don't you?
                                         
                                         I think you can buy them and have a norm.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the reindeer could need it.
                                         
    
                                         Well, I get them from my rainders in the garage.
                                         
                                         They feed off the scent of it.
                                         
                                         It's a very local butcher. You've got to go. If you live in the garage. They feed off the sand. Right, if you're local butcher,
                                         
                                         you've got to go to the butcher.
                                         
                                         If you live in the rural areas,
                                         
                                         I think you can get yourselves one
                                         
                                         straight from the supply.
                                         
                                         But I think in some of them
                                         
    
                                         is a metric area in Melbourne.
                                         
                                         Yes, plenty of mentioned butcher though,
                                         
                                         because boys, we're coming up to the air
                                         
                                         and I'm just going to say,
                                         
                                         have you bought your Brutacchi hair?
                                         
                                         I've got my Brutac in here and right here down my pants
                                         
                                         And it's a great little some say it's a great stocking stuff
                                         
                                         I mean, but it's also great pants stuff if you want everyone to think it's gonna be deep
                                         
    
                                         I mean, you see I did where the
                                         
                                         The one thing for me is that a lot of my friends in front of me would have a bettuck
                                         
                                         Yeah, well you get a point for me if it's important for me, in terms of stockings,
                                         
                                         you know, if you get the man bad.
                                         
                                         We were ever shot after a broccoli tea, hair, dead, your pants.
                                         
                                         Oh, talk about chicken, damn my pants.
                                         
                                         Talk about chicken, damn my pants, does he have to do that?
                                         
                                         I think you've touched on something quite interestingly.
                                         
    
                                         Well, and it is that it's funny all these movies
                                         
                                         and television, and television commercials commercials and radio plays that we hear
                                         
                                         them all by surround the house snowy it is and
                                         
                                         In Melbourne we're in our shorts and and it's a much different five
                                         
                                         But I think still quite a fun energy around Christmas where you get prawn
                                         
                                         We mindset of having a turkey having prawns. I have to go over my mother and I was in one different having turkey.
                                         
                                         I don't know if it's a cold energy thing. It's interesting.
                                         
                                         You mentioned the cold hot dichotomy because I was actually on the YouTube and my son
                                         
    
                                         person from a comedy group, a young Australian comedy group from hell
                                         
                                         But and there was a little
                                         
                                         Beauty out of the arm of the hot
                                         
                                         Anti-donna was like oh, they've heard of them there pack of cups
                                         
                                         Touch on what you were saying there about you know that for those of our listeners who don't know
                                         
                                         And I'm just learnt myself from our young just producer Carol who's 37, what a young chicken.
                                         
                                         YouTube is a network television network that works on the computer.
                                         
                                         It's a very different track.
                                         
    
                                         Because I've watched it on my television.
                                         
                                         I've watched it on my television.
                                         
                                         I'm just getting a little check here just to see if it's actually
                                         
                                         picking or not because it's picking in my little cracks.
                                         
                                         Seven greater greater.
                                         
                                         Cracken on the top. Sorry, I'm so sorry that she's live unfortunately.
                                         
                                         Hello, we don't know what's going on out to the radio, but just for clarity in our headphones
                                         
                                         There's a bit of a creaking whenever we're told
                                         
    
                                         It could be because I'm partially deaf
                                         
                                         I'm 80 70s. I'll make it only here out the left here a little bit
                                         
                                         But that doesn't mean I can't have a bit of a tuck you have this Christmas
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's right
                                         
                                         I'm telling you a good present for someone is a
                                         
                                         Heson Hamberger keep that ham fresh. Yeah, that's right
                                         
                                         I'll have to have fresh enough. You know keep that ham fresh in the fridge this year
                                         
                                         I was a
                                         
    
                                         K.M.A.
                                         
                                         last rig or a
                                         
                                         K.M.A.
                                         
                                         Oh, you sort of came out last week I was like came out oh you sort of came out right
                                         
                                         and they had the shelf
                                         
                                         and on the shelf
                                         
                                         what they have
                                         
                                         are the bees
                                         
    
                                         they sort of
                                         
                                         little stuff
                                         
                                         and they're
                                         
                                         temporary chockies
                                         
                                         oh you're saying
                                         
                                         they had the advent calendar
                                         
                                         chockies
                                         
                                         now it was little
                                         
    
                                         stockies
                                         
                                         and they put the chockies
                                         
                                         in there and I bought ten of them
                                         
                                         for the ten nations of nephria
                                         
                                         oh god oh god yeah it's great to hit down the came out Put the chockets in there and I bought ten of them for the ten nations of nephrodite. Oh, good.
                                         
                                         There's a great idea on the K-Money, you can get those stonking stumps because there's a lot of people.
                                         
                                         There's a lot of people, you obviously remember to buy presents for your daughters and your sons, your wife.
                                         
                                         And then grandkids, I think the grandkids will certainly in my house.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, the grandkids get spoiled rotten and out.
                                         
                                         Oh, my God. the grandkids get spoiled rotten and out
                                         
                                         oh my god
                                         
                                         there's a couple of
                                         
                                         hunk cracker when they come in
                                         
                                         but the mordits of Voswan
                                         
                                         that's right they all get a
                                         
                                         full swing and nobody
                                         
    
                                         I got the little grandkids and I
                                         
                                         put the little hat on them and I got
                                         
                                         a high little grandkids what's your
                                         
                                         little hat doing like I said're put me in the hat
                                         
                                         you're put me in the hat they do love a Christmas hat the kids don't like because they think they're
                                         
                                         Santa Claus and I put a little beard on them I put a little beard on them this because a lot of
                                         
                                         young people don't they would have grown beans No, no beard, you should have done it or purple.
                                         
                                         Now are you getting our first call?
                                         
    
                                         We've got Carol in Menton.
                                         
                                         Hello, Carol.
                                         
                                         Hello, Carol.
                                         
                                         Hello.
                                         
                                         Hi, Carol.
                                         
                                         How are you spending this Christmas day?
                                         
                                         I was just getting a couple of family ran.
                                         
                                         I was going to get on my old Christmas turkey.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, fantastic.
                                         
                                         We're going to do a turkey stuff with a chicken stuff with with a choir. Oh, you're doing it to duck and we're doing it to duck
                                         
                                         And it's not gonna but it's only gonna cost one to duck in now Phil Brydie have you heard about this?
                                         
                                         The to duck and have you heard about this?
                                         
                                         I would go back and put it my
                                         
                                         Susette she backs poor
                                         
                                         I put it my my my so-so-sage show-back's poor
                                         
                                         But why are t-tash pull a crackle on it? Oh cracklings went Bestie I can't keep you away from the crackling the candles. That's the world. What you're getting poor
                                         
    
                                         Have you had pork a bin pork? Oh?
                                         
                                         Fair enough now though to duck and is a turkey with a chicken and a
                                         
                                         Thank you cool Carol please And a... Yeah, for God's sake. And I'm like a quail in... Yes.
                                         
                                         I think for you, cool Carol, please... Yeah, I got a question for a little cause.
                                         
                                         Where's the this one in a second?
                                         
                                         I got a little question for the college.
                                         
                                         What's your question, Phil Brady?
                                         
                                         I said a little, you know,
                                         
    
                                         if I do the vegetarians, you know,
                                         
                                         because I got so much meat in my tummy.
                                         
                                         Well, I know one of my grandchildren
                                         
                                         is a vegetarian at the moment
                                         
                                         and it does cause grief in the kitchen. What's the difference in here vegetarian vegan?
                                         
                                         What is the difference between a vegetarian?
                                         
                                         Well, I'd love to know.
                                         
                                         Get Jenny, our producer out there who's a young girl, she's 38.
                                         
    
                                         I want to know from her what the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian is.
                                         
                                         I said different.
                                         
                                         We've got Michael in Greensboro.
                                         
                                         Hello.
                                         
                                         Oh, oh, I'm on 3 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh freaking me out. Well Phil, maybe it's time for you to take a walk.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I'll bring it to microphone.
                                         
                                         Fair enough.
                                         
    
                                         Well hey, why don't you go grab us a pair of those,
                                         
                                         but Toki-ham.
                                         
                                         I'll bring two Toki-ham, it was okay.
                                         
                                         What, it rings, bro, what are you doing on Christmas day?
                                         
                                         No, no, no, we're just getting to,
                                         
                                         we having a family, we're having a fair. I was just got a whole family we're having the family around
                                         
                                         We're going to the old barbecue
                                         
                                         We I know I tell you what we are this year. We are we're putting prawns on the bar
                                         
    
                                         He's just because we thought it would be just like that pole hogan commercial
                                         
                                         Just like that come because what like we've never
                                         
                                         Yeah, because people I never know I'd never done that before
                                         
                                         Like it's not really a thing, but we thought is here we put the prawns on the bar
                                         
                                         I think it's your talk it's because the thing about it the thing about the thing if I may
                                         
                                         Yeah, please think about the prawns on the barbie. Yeah, is that a that's not a
                                         
                                         People think that we do that but we don't really know that's not a common thing so we
                                         
                                         or we shut up shut shut up okay can I
                                         
    
                                         can I finish my story yeah if you finish as a
                                         
                                         patoki ham and for you there's a patoki ham for you and your babies
                                         
                                         what everyone of your babies get a batokie here.
                                         
                                         Now I know some of them haven't antiven yet.
                                         
                                         So we'll put the batokie here in the freezer
                                         
                                         and they can get it when they get
                                         
                                         when they get to come to the freezer.
                                         
                                         Graduation prison for your babies.
                                         
    
                                         My partner's service, suffers from a,
                                         
                                         your partner's service.
                                         
                                         My partner's service.
                                         
                                         The Greek and the service. Oh yeah
                                         
                                         From a nervous system disorder, okay, and they are
                                         
                                         Unable to have babies. So no babies. That's just one but talky
                                         
                                         Yeah, more talky hands for you and Sarvus so we're putting prawns on the bar
                                         
                                         Paul Hogan said that so many years ago now I'm brought up the tourism in Sydney and Queensland and down here. But it's not something that's
                                         
    
                                         commonly done. No, it's an, and we don't even call them shrimps too. We call them shrimps
                                         
                                         and we call them prawns. But I will be putting a couple of prawns out of Christmas and
                                         
                                         with a beautiful cocktail sauce. I've I've I've put the prawns on the barbie
                                         
                                         Then I put down my pants and everyone sees my bum. We've got another cool way coming through. It's Margaret from
                                         
                                         Frank's and Margaret are you there?
                                         
                                         Hello
                                         
                                         Mia was going on balls
                                         
                                         Margaret how are you spending this whole day season happily holidays to you?
                                         
    
                                         Happy holidays boys were we too on nightline
                                         
                                         I love not I know I'm on not why not called not you call if we know
                                         
                                         I do call every night. I love to leave you quite lonely aren't you? I am I love you. I love you too
                                         
                                         Pete
                                         
                                         Margaret how are you spending are you spending it with your son Aaron?
                                         
                                         I'm gonna know Aaron as unfortunately passed away
                                         
                                         Three fell into the pool and unfortunately it was such a strange thing
                                         
                                         He fell into the pool tragic accident and had tied Cinder blocks to him
                                         
    
                                         We don't know how the Cinder box got a complete killed himself. Well, we don't know
                                         
                                         It's an important thing to remember
                                         
                                         That's what he did. Well, I don't know the autopsy report came back said he was full of cocktails
                                         
                                         Now he's done killed himself
                                         
                                         Yes, it's an important thing to remember around the summer years when there are kiddies running around the pool. Even though your son Aaron is 54. It is important to remember to keep
                                         
                                         an eye on those young kids running around the pool because water safety is important during the summer break.
                                         
                                         I reckon he's killed himself. I guess I got that. By the one thing we are doing for Christmas this year, we are trying to move on from the tragic accident
                                         
                                         of Aaron dying.
                                         
    
                                         And what we do is that we get a Barbie,
                                         
                                         and we put shrimp on the Barbie.
                                         
                                         Which isn't our typical Australian thing,
                                         
                                         but what we thought would be interesting
                                         
                                         is because that's not a common thing.
                                         
                                         But people, you know, people would think that
                                         
                                         that is a thing that we do. So I you know, people are the thing that has a thing to do.
                                         
                                         So I will get, we will get shrimp this year or prawns as we call them prawns and put them on the Barbie.
                                         
    
                                         Because there was that pull hogan at a little while ago about putting shrimp on a Barbie.
                                         
                                         Could you shut up, please?
                                         
                                         I'm just saying.
                                         
                                         Can I just get through my fucking story please is that all right?
                                         
                                         I'll just sit here and think this but talkie here my son is dead. I'm sorry. You're a talkie here. Yeah, please
                                         
                                         Ring ring ring. Oh, we've lost the frame ring ring ring. Good other phone call. Hello. Welcome to nightline
                                         
                                         ABC Melbourne and Merry Christmas. We want to know what you're doing with your Christmas. We've got
                                         
                                         stand from Churchill on the line hello stand mary christmas hello hi stand stand how you spending this Christmas day I'm gonna make a
                                         
    
                                         little chicken oh yeah I'm gonna make the little chicken. I'm gonna run after it.
                                         
                                         You're gonna run after a chicken.
                                         
                                         Yeah, go. You're gonna make the chicken after,
                                         
                                         you're gonna run after the chicken after you've made it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm gonna make the chicken.
                                         
                                         I'm gonna put two big chickens together.
                                         
                                         They're gonna make a little chicken.
                                         
                                         Oh, it sounds delicious.
                                         
    
                                         I'm gonna run after it.
                                         
                                         It's gonna catch it.
                                         
                                         Sounds delicious, Stan.
                                         
                                         I was got another corner in. Sounds delicious. Stingling. Ringling. Oh, we've got another
                                         
                                         corner in who we've got. Hello, we've got Aaron from
                                         
                                         the bottom of a pool. Oh, I'm gonna bring that off the air.
                                         
                                         We've got another call in there. We've got Phil from
                                         
                                         Futscray. Hello, Phil. Yee-ya. Hello. Hello, welcome to Nightline. How are you spending your Christmas this year Phil?
                                         
    
                                         Well, I've got a we got I got two parents, you know, and they're and then my partner's got two parents and
                                         
                                         They've all got so I have to do because they've all got parents and then they've got parents and then they've all got parents
                                         
                                         And I actually have to go to 63
                                         
                                         Christmas's in one day. It is it can be a stressful time of the year
                                         
                                         There's so many so many places to go please be careful on the roads because everyone does die on the roads at this time of the year
                                         
                                         We've got another caller. We're getting the phones going
                                         
                                         The Richter the moment so we've got Peter from Box Hill.
                                         
                                         Oh, no, it's not Peter, it's Mark from Antidonna here.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, Mark, how are you?
                                         
                                         That's a sea, I'm good.
                                         
                                         I just had a question, though, for Zach.
                                         
                                         The last character he did talk about having to go
                                         
                                         to 63 Christmas.
                                         
                                         Yeah, both my parents and my partners' parents are so
                                         
                                         separated, and then I always talk about how I have to go to four Christmases.
                                         
                                         So I was just wondering if that bit of improv was a bit of a fucking stab at me.
                                         
    
                                         And that's what it's making fun of.
                                         
                                         You know, how many Christmases I have to go to.
                                         
                                         Just wondering if that's where that stems from.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         Well, okay.
                                         
                                         So if I can be real for a second.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         It needs some time to be real in this Christmas. Initially, yeah. Initially, Well, it was a time to be real and Christmas.
                                         
    
                                         Initially, the joke was going to be
                                         
                                         because of more extended family.
                                         
                                         So my mum's family, my dad's family,
                                         
                                         Annie's family.
                                         
                                         Okay. So that was initially,
                                         
                                         I realized in the wording, initially it came out as a stab.
                                         
                                         It was very similar to your experience.
                                         
                                         I tried to avoid it, but it was it was a
                                         
    
                                         it genuinely was a complete mistake and I am sorry. I just want to thank you for
                                         
                                         acknowledging that. I think that's really brave of you and big of you. I was quite
                                         
                                         nervous about calling and confronting you about this because you know I'm not
                                         
                                         the kind of person that thrives in competition. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm
                                         
                                         not avoid it. Thank you so much. And on this festive day, I would love to give you a No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And because you've shown a real Christmas miracle, I want to give you both a bettokie
                                         
                                         hand.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, down the three IW studios here in the doc lands and I'll give you both a
                                         
                                         hamming you've never you'll never forget.
                                         
    
                                         Ring ring ring.
                                         
                                         Now I've got another caller here from all the way, oh my god all the way from Craigie
                                         
                                         Burn.
                                         
                                         It is Tim Tim.
                                         
                                         Oh, hello.
                                         
                                         Tim, what are you doing this Christmas?
                                         
                                         I don't know what to say, I live next door to the studio.
                                         
                                         I'm not just here to people, fucking.
                                         
    
                                         Yes you did, you heard Mark and Zach
                                         
                                         from Comedy Group anti-donna, fucking on air.
                                         
                                         And we just gave them two betoggy hair.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's just very nasty, no good stuff.
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's not good stuff at all.
                                         
                                         But I want to know Tim, which I imagine is a nickname
                                         
                                         you've given me, because you sound like a person
                                         
    
                                         who's immigrated to the country.
                                         
                                         Si.
                                         
                                         And you've gone, my name was too hard
                                         
                                         for these anglo-hosted pronouns.
                                         
                                         You've given yourself a, you know,
                                         
                                         a briefie hadn't name.
                                         
                                         Is that fair, Tim?
                                         
                                         This is fair to say.
                                         
    
                                         What is your real name?
                                         
                                         It Timothi.
                                         
                                         Well, we can, I can't even word that what is a Timot.
                                         
                                         Timothy is traditional.
                                         
                                         Europe name.
                                         
                                         Ring, tick, tick.
                                         
                                         I can't even start.
                                         
                                         I'm sorry, I'm dead, I have to go.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, bye.
                                         
                                         Now we've got another phone call here.
                                         
                                         The lines are off the Richter here.
                                         
                                         Where the way to sell about in Christmas sampling mark.
                                         
                                         Err, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
    
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
                                         
                                         yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We've got a call coming. I didn't realize our phones got calls all the way from the North Pole.
                                         
    
                                         Jeeze, I want a good beer.
                                         
                                         Must be a good Telstra.
                                         
                                         Telstra.
                                         
                                         That's an incredible Telstra connection, which of course you can get Telstra plans starting from $50.
                                         
                                         That's why the audio hams.
                                         
                                         That's why the audio hams is through Telstra and with their 4G service.
                                         
                                         Their 4G service and what's great is they're great with this service for NBN
                                         
                                         Which is not a fucking shit fest at all fucking cans
                                         
    
                                         Anyway, hello, we got North Pole is it who have I got the line?
                                         
                                         Santa Claus Santa Claus
                                         
                                         Boys and girls, it's me Santa Claus Santa Claus., I mentioned this a busy time of the year for you, what, with packing all
                                         
                                         the Christmas presents for everyone.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm giving all the boys and girls, I'm giving them all, I'm just melting, I'm just
                                         
                                         powdered sugar.
                                         
                                         Powdered sugar and don't the children love it.
                                         
                                         I remember growing up, we would, I would get one prisoner year.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It would be a wooden toy of some sort, and wouldn't I be happy for months afterwards with
                                         
                                         that present now they all want powdered sugar now put it in a little bag for
                                         
                                         the little droppin' into the tree I got here's a little powdered sugar boys and
                                         
                                         go yes and it is a magical time of year mark what are you expecting from
                                         
                                         Santa Claus this year well I did actually just want to talk to Santa Claus for a second
                                         
                                         Because you're doing a bit of a jerk about giving powdered sugar to people
                                         
                                         And and I did and you do know that my uncle used to give me powdered sugar for Christmas
                                         
    
                                         I'm just wondering if that's a bit of a fucking stab at me and my uncle used to laid me into the ship
                                         
                                         It's a good point then.
                                         
                                         Santa Clombs, are you having a go at Mark?
                                         
                                         For he was shady upbringing.
                                         
                                         I'm just Santa Clombs and yeah, Mark's a little bit naughty, but I don't even know
                                         
                                         he's naughty.
                                         
                                         I don't take digs.
                                         
                                         I just give him a little bit.
                                         
    
                                         I don't give him as much powdered sugar.
                                         
                                         You know, you won't be getting as much powdered sugar as the other boys.
                                         
                                         No, no, definitely won't be getting any award for good callback, Joe.
                                         
                                         Very good. Santa, I want to know what are the kids asking for this year because when I was
                                         
                                         going up, it was maybe a magazine for the past years.. These years they're asking for Nintendo's gadgets from Japan.
                                         
                                         This is the first year that the Santa Corms office is set up a Snapchat and I'm getting lots of
                                         
                                         Snapchat's from the little boys and boys. What the heck is a Snapchat? Snapchat is a
                                         
                                         ingenious app where you can send photos of literal
                                         
    
                                         shits that you've taken to people. Well that's what they prize them and they don't have a choice
                                         
                                         in whether they see it or not. That's what if the anti-donner account mostly only connection
                                         
                                         I had to snapchat I would imagine it's just a way to show people you shitting. Yeah well we get
                                         
                                         lots of request for presence on the Snapchat and I answer everyone.
                                         
                                         Well, that's great.
                                         
                                         And they say they want um, like bulbs and um, they say they want double sided tape and they
                                         
                                         say they want um, they want little pop plans with the great basil and I say, I'm not going
                                         
                                         to bunnings.
                                         
    
                                         I thought it was.
                                         
                                         Bunnings.
                                         
                                         Powder and shug. I'm not going to Bunnings, I thought he was. Bouncing.
                                         
                                         Powdering shug.
                                         
                                         Bouncing is a great place for renovations, but for Christmas presents, unless you're shopping
                                         
                                         for Dad.
                                         
                                         Oh, well, yeah, yeah, well.
                                         
                                         There's a popular Christmas presents in Bunnings, Voucher.
                                         
    
                                         The way the Voucher Market affected your game, Santa Claus.
                                         
                                         I don't, I just, I give him, hey guys, I gotta go.
                                         
                                         Like that.
                                         
                                         Hurry up, go in.
                                         
                                         I'm just, I'm getting, I'm getting weak, doubt boys.
                                         
                                         I'm having a nervous breakdown.
                                         
                                         I'm just wiggling out of it, cause like, home.
                                         
                                         You're wiggling out.
                                         
    
                                         Don't wiggling out.
                                         
                                         Um, this is just like a lot of questions coming at me.
                                         
                                         Um, and um, just so many kisses like,
                                         
                                         Sam feeling kids, I. I want their powdered sugar
                                         
                                         Would you like a batucky ham?
                                         
                                         I'm a vegetarian trying a long trying at the moment
                                         
                                         But I but no
                                         
                                         Linda Clombs my what one she's my partner
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, Linda Clombs, but she's not my wife No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely special. Now Mark, tell me, you've recently grown a big beard.
                                         
                                         So why do you grow the beard?
                                         
                                         And tell me, did you do it so you could get it
                                         
                                         to the shops to buy batokis?
                                         
                                         I did it.
                                         
                                         I got a big beard because a beard sounds a bit like a bit talker.
                                         
                                         A very bad talker.
                                         
                                         If you're saying bad talker, people say, are you saying bad talker?
                                         
    
                                         I say I'm saying bad talker.
                                         
                                         And we've got a special bit talker here in Price, Poo, Rule, just so you know.
                                         
                                         We've, you know, it's 40 degrees out.
                                         
                                         So if anyone's out driving, we thought we felt a bit sorry for everyone driving in the
                                         
                                         heat.
                                         
                                         So we've left a basket of raw ham, we've left a basket of ham on the side of the food,
                                         
                                         and uncured ham.
                                         
                                         Uncured.
                                         
    
                                         So raw pork, and if anyone sees that patucky pork basket, you get to keep it calling.
                                         
                                         Snap it up quick.
                                         
                                         Or you get yourself keep it calling. Snap it up quick. Or you get yourself some shamanel.
                                         
                                         Gentlemen, as we do every year for Christmas, I've brought in a poem
                                         
                                         by Christmas power.
                                         
                                         Oh, very long fellow Henry Wadsworth.
                                         
                                         Fantastic.
                                         
                                         Wadsworth, Wadsworth.
                                         
    
                                         And I'm going to read you all a Christmas poem now.
                                         
                                         Tom, can you please put a bit of music under this?
                                         
                                         I heard the bells on Christmas Day.
                                         
                                         They're old familiar carols play,
                                         
                                         and wild and sweet the words repeat of peace on earth.
                                         
                                         Goodwill to men.
                                         
                                         If you could do the sound effects I'd really appreciate it.
                                         
                                         That would be belled. Yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         And thought how's the day had come the bell-freeze of all Christmas pricendom?
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no!
                                         
                                         Had rolled along the unbroken song of peace and earth, good will to men.
                                         
                                         Till ringing, ringing, singing on its own.
                                         
                                         Ring, ring, ring, ring.
                                         
                                         The world, is that a phone call or a sound?
                                         
                                         That's a sound of a thing.
                                         
                                         Oh, right.
                                         
    
                                         I've done coming and ringing.
                                         
                                         Singing on its way, the world revolve from night to day. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, A black bat, bats. A voice. Hello? A chime.
                                         
                                         You're the voice!
                                         
                                         A chime.
                                         
                                         Uh, a chime.
                                         
                                         What is a chime?
                                         
                                         A chime, a chime.
                                         
                                         A chance to blame, of peace on Earth Goodwill to men.
                                         
    
                                         Ah, boy.
                                         
                                         Then from each black occurs to mouth the cannon funded in the south, with the sound the carols
                                         
                                         drowned of peace on Earth Goodwill to men, and in the spare eye bowed my head there is no peace on earth I said
                                         
                                         for hate is strong and knocks the song of earth and peace goodwill to men
                                         
                                         then peeled the bills more loud and deep
                                         
                                         God is not dead nor doth he sleep
                                         
                                         the wrong shall forth the wrong shall fail the right prevail with peace on earth.
                                         
                                         Good will to men.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, I wasn't but just lovely.
                                         
                                         That was just beautiful.
                                         
                                         I loved that.
                                         
                                         Now, if only Plutty Malcolm Turnbull could get off his ass and bloody step up, you know,
                                         
                                         you had some leadership from Abbott. That's my opinion.
                                         
                                         You had some leadership from Abbott, and then you've got Turnbull here.
                                         
                                         He's bloody labor light.
                                         
                                         And I'm going into Christmas.
                                         
    
                                         Uncertain about this government.
                                         
                                         Disgusted by their disgusting display of...
                                         
                                         It's been heavy for 10, 30 and nine?
                                         
                                         Well, it is just driving me wild. I mean, at least
                                         
                                         just saw some some leadership from the Abbott camp, and I think Turnbull can get get stuff
                                         
                                         in my dinner. Did you vote? No. I'm playing a character here, Mark, and I think this character
                                         
                                         did, bro. Yes, I voted yes. That's not what it's about. I'm talking about leadership.
                                         
                                         I'm talking about the fact that this bloody nation is going down the toilet. And I look
                                         
    
                                         at these leaders, I look at Turnbull, and he is desecrating the name of Howard. He is
                                         
                                         desecrating the name of Menzies. And I'm looking out here and I am disgusted by the despair of this government
                                         
                                         I may have a cup of tea well
                                         
                                         I'll have a cup of tea when I see a bloody government with some spawn
                                         
                                         I see all those bloody seats up there in Canberra. I see all these people taking their bloody break
                                         
                                         Christmas and not a single You need to chill out! You need to chill out! Get out of the way! You've got the lot of guys in the whole of the place, mate!
                                         
                                         Oh, you know how I'm over here.
                                         
                                         Mate, wait, wait, wait.
                                         
    
                                         You need a bit of a talking hair.
                                         
                                         Oh, I need a bloody book of hair.
                                         
                                         Merry Christmas, mate.
                                         
                                         Merry Christmas, mate.
                                         
                                         Merry Christmas, mate.
                                         
                                         Merry Christmas, mate.
                                         
                                         You've been listening to the Antidona podcast.
                                         
                                         Thanks for joining us for another rip-amp episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com.
                                         
    
                                         See you next week!
                                         
