Aunty Donna Podcast - Crocodillo Crypto Bro

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

We’ll be back next week if we don’t kill each other first... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Grouse House podcast. Good evening, everybody. Welcome, welcome to the Arnie D podcast. My name is Jack Dwayne. Um, I, I am the host. I am the host of the Arty D podcast. I'm joined as always by my co-host. Angelina.

Hello. She's an old Italian lady. I have to go in about the 50 in a minute. Yeah, Angelina has to go. Going about 15 minutes. Yeah. And as always joined by my dear friend, GDB. Hello, I'm Grand Design's Batman.

Tom blind the desk. Hello, lads. If you don't know, Aunty D podcast, formerly Aunty Donna podcast, is a podcast where we just talk all things. We're still finding it a little bit. That's kind of what we're going to talk about today. It used to be hosted by three sketch comedians.

Now it's hosted by the three of us. I'm a private school boy. I went to Skev's and my dad's a lawyer. And I'm Batman, but also from Grand Designs. And then I'll just tell the woman. So last week we did some brainstorming on some ways we could make money. I took them home. I considered them.

I don't think we're quite there yet. Not to say it's not good idea. No, they are good ideas. I just think... Is it a couple good idea in there to make the money? I think I was... I called up a couple of my mates in the podcasting world. Who?

Ah, who? Yeah. Hamish. Blake. Haim. Oh Andy Lee

Oh Kickpod Yes I called up Kyle Sandy Landy Yeah Because that's technically a podcast

I called up Jackie O Yes Jackio Nasus John F Kennedy's wife Yeah Jackie O'Nassus John F Kennedy's wife Oh my God

She was in the car When he was shot through this As portrayed by Natalie Portman though I thought that could have been dead shot who took that shot. Well, I also do the make the bullet go a wibbly wobbly. Magneto did that.

Oh my God. I don't know who that is. He's in a different world. There have been crossovers. It's some. So I was talking to them and they said, you need to stop focusing on the money. And I said, easy for you to fucking say. Is your neck okay?

Yeah, this seat, making my neck hurt. Oh, really? Yes. It needs a bit. Maybe it needs to. to get the summer pillow at the back or something. Oh, wow, yeah, I didn't realize that was a problem. Yes, okay.

Okay, yeah, well, maybe we'll look into something for you for next week. Oh, my God. Maybe we'll look into something for next week. Are we going to do that now? No, we can wait there. No, we'll do it now. Tom's coming in. Got a solution there.

If you're not watching, Tom's coming in with a neck brace for Angelina. That's beautiful. Thank you. You put that on? Put this on. I make a monocular set. So what do you want the show to be? Because last episode it ended with you not really...

So yeah, last episode I was a little upset. I realized it's not going to make money. And my mate said, we've got to stop focusing on the money. It's not quite there yet. They said a million dollars is unrealistic. Profit. That's what I wanted to make by the end of this year. And I said, well, instead of that,

what can we do to make this good? Because my biggest worry, and this is what I realized last week is that this is bad. But it's a take time to find a good thing. Yeah. You go back and listen to episode one,

two, three. It's not good. Of our one? Yeah. Of this. Of Arnie Donna or the Arnie D, this one, the one we're doing.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Shows get good after about 500 episodes. Yes, yeah. But my worry is we fired all the original host. yeah and we're trying to find the new dynamic even though it's a new it's an it's an existing show yeah well the issue is here it's a new show for us so we're episode four of we need to get to about five because shows when they hit over 500 is when they hit their golden era yeah so we just need to do this just accept that we're not going to get any of that magic we're starting from scratch yes mathematically when you do a show for yes it must have a summer quote

after a 500 episode. Yeah, that's right. At some point, you know, you start to find your rhythm. You start to understand even to the basic degree, what is this? Yeah. After 500, you should be there. So just to give a decision. So we just, so, because I was going to come in and maybe do a bit of an ultimatum.

If you were doing a podcast and you're up to 500-something episodes. Yeah. you're gonna be a very good and it was like this and it was like this yeah that would be really bad switch off it that'd be bad this is not the five this is the fourth but if this was 5004ish yeah big problems yeah but it was still the old guys doing this if we were characters played by the old guys that's right if we were characters played by the old guys that would be really concerned but i'm grand designs batman yeah or j day bay as we call him Ah, and you're Angelina, the old Italian lady.

Yes. Who has to go in 15 minutes, 10 minutes now probably. Yes, I'm sorry. Where are you going? I might have to go do a thing for my grandson. He's got his, you know, when his dad, he's a never teach him to pull it back of the skin in the shower, wash him. Yeah, you go to do that. His dad probably was circumcised, so he probably didn't know, really.

You got a lever. to clean to help you teach you. Not a help clean. Take a tour of the hospital. Oh, right. Because he gets a snippy. Adolter circumacigi. So you guys are sort of saying, let me get this clear.

As this old Italian lady talks about her grandson's adult circumcision. Not about it. Just take a tour of the obstacle to do that. I don't talk about easy. Little Willie. Well, you are now. No, I am, yes. You're saying that we, it's your belief that the only reason that this is bad is because we're four episodes in.

Yes, yeah. So that's my honest opinion. And do you believe that if we just weather the storm? Yes. For about 496 episodes. Maybe less. Sanifeld do not get good to maybe season three. I like one or two.

You believe we should commit to the three of us as hosts, indefinitely, and hope that it gets better? That's my opinion, yeah. Well, I heart agree. I firmly agree. Well, good. Good. Well, all right. So, I guess we were going to talk about, we could still brainstorm ways we could make this better.

Yeah, I think that's part of it. I don't really do characters, because I was thinking about one thing that the old Aunty Donna podcast did well is they would play different characters. but I don't really do that. I just play, you know, I just do me. How do you know you don't do that? Do you want me to try? Do you want me to try and play a character? I'd love that.

Do you guys have any ideas for what I could do? Tom, I'd be happy to welcome you all. I feel like you could do a good like crypto bro. Well, that's, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by crypto bro? Like a tech bro who's into crypto? You know, those wankers you would see sometimes in your fields? Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. that don't really go that. Did I just do an accent? You just went Aussie. Yeah, you just did a great Aussie accent, I'm losing it a little bit.

I'm losing my accent the more I'm in this country. Okay, let me have a go with a character like a crypto bro. Yeah. Goody guys. Goody guys. How you going? Oh, hello.

Who are you? No, I love crypto, but I don't actually understand the best ways to invest. And I think of it more like a currency. rather than an open market investment opportunity. That's really good. I like this character. Thanks guys.

That's awesome. Do you have a silly, do you have silly elements? What's that? I've stopped doing the character. Do you want me to keep going with him? Oh, yes, please. Oh, hello there. Maybe he's a crocodile.

Oh, my crocodile. You're a crocodile crypto, bro. Yeah. Is it just to add a bit of a flat fancy? I don't understand. I don't understand what's, funny about a crypto bro, though, because he's, he's, he's breaking free of the... But if he's a crocodile, then what's funny is, you know, not many fingers.

Can't they use a computer? Okay. Need to go in the water and, you know, snap, snap, snap. Yeah, snap, snap. No, so, you know, it's a bit of fun in this way. What about if he's a hippopotamo? Hippopotamo, very funny. kill a lot of people.

Polo? This is a horse. No little chicken. No little chicken is you get the body head, you break the neck. We're going to go to an outbreak when we come back. Crocodile Crypto bro.

Hello, welcome back. I'm Crocodile Crypto, bro. I love crypto, but I'm not very good at investing in it wisely. I'll tell you what I I forgot my password and now I've got a billion dollars worth of Bitcoin in my hard drive. I can help, I think.

What if you got to get your hard drive? No, it's good. We can save this. I can try a different character. No, listen. I think you just need to back yourself in. Look, I'm just not a character guy, man. It's not what I do.

Look, you're a, you're crypto brown. Oh, yes. You have a million dollars on your hard drive. Yes. You want to go get this. You want to take it because, you know, crypto maybe crash soon, so you want to sell it. But I just come back from the butcher. I have a whole bag of a lamb shanker.

And do you smell the lamb shanky? Oh, wow. I'd love to snap up the lamb shanker. Do you eat the lamb shanker or do you sell the crypto before it drop anymore in the market? I'd like to sell this crypto, but... You jump straight in? Yeah, I'm doing it now. Yeah, I'd love to sell this crypto.

And maybe we're in a house. Yeah. A beautiful house in Gotham City. Oh, that's great. And maybe we go to showing at the real start. Maybe you're showing us around. I think you've upset Jack Dwayne. I'm just set up this scenario for you to play.

I got a new character. Oh. This one is a chick. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Does anyone have a teatow or anything? I want to play to put the hair. Yeah, I put it on top of my head to pretend to be a chick. No, we don't think we have a teetail, yeah.

Oh, that's all right. Lucy's getting us a teetow. So what I'll do is I'll put on a teetow and maybe I'll do a little scenes. Oh, you got to go? I have to go. Please don't leave me. Angelina. I have to go. Angelina, please. Are you coming back?

No, I have to go. I'm sorry. Are you coming back? No. Or maybe see this workout. You've got to come back, please. Don't leave me with Jack Dwayne. Maybe next week.

Don't leave me with this chick character. It's a chick. Maybe it'll be good. I'm not Lego Batman. I'm Grand Designs Batman and I don't know if I can do it. I believe in you. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.

sorry. No, that's all right, mate. See you later. All right, this is fun. Angelina, just leave. I'm coming back next week, yeah. You feel not kill each other before. Yeah, it's just, you can't really leave halfway through, Angelina.

But that check before you said there was a guy. Yeah, but. Canonically, though. Yeah, yeah, but then. Don't leave, yeah, yeah. We said that was all right, but in world. The bit in world we're saying it's not. You can't just leave halfway through, Angelina.

But you said it was okay. No, yeah, I know that. Angelina, we said that it's fine for you to run out. We know you got shit going on. It's all good. But canonically, don't go. Don't go, Angelina. No, no, no, sorry, Angelina.

No, no, no, no, you don't have to stay. We did agree to that. But we're just pretending it's a problem for the joke. Or like a crocodile Like a crocodile Like a crocodile I'm so sorry I don't understand

That's right Don't go Don't go though Don't go Don't go No you can go You can go Please leave

Please leave Reason I said Let's have you You know We'll do some of it Was so that we could do this bit Okay Grand Design's Batman

Can you get off your fucking phone No I cannot tell you. Checking all the time is. Because if she's leaving and you're on your phone and then I'm the only one doing this. I won't get on my phone, I promise. You go.

Don't go. Don't go, though. Don't go. I've explained this multiple times. You're allowed to leave. Please leave. You do have to go. But canonically, we've got to say, where are you going?

No, leave. Please leave. I feel bad if you don't leave. soon. I don't want you to be late. I have to go. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Don't go though. But I don't go. No, I don't do. You said don't go. Go! Go! Go get out of here. But don't go. I'm gonna go.

I can't believe she's leaving. That's outrageous that she's leaving. I've never been so incensed in my life. Ten minutes into the podcast, she leaves. That's outrageous. That is outrageous. But now, do your character. All right. So if you're just joining us. Yeah.

I'm sorry I don't want to upset you boy No no you're not Go No you gotta go You've got to leave You got to leave I do I have to go

I really have to go You leave then You've got to leave Tom can you take Can you escort her out of the building Just go Just to say so go When I leave it

And then maybe once I'm out You can say whatever Okay But you just got to go Oh but don't go Don't leave Don't leave. You gotta leave.

You gotta go. What are you doing, man? You can't get out of here. I can't believe she's leaving. It's ridiculous. That's crazy. In the middle of the podcast. Okay.

So from here on out, it's two... I can't believe she fucking left. That's crazy. Lucy, do you want to take her place? That would be nice. Lucy. You don't have to. No, you don't have to.

Then you go, loose. Lucy, all right. You don't have to, Lucy. I can. We're going to, so Angeline is going to replace by a 22-year-old assistant for the podcast department here for Tom. Yeah. Who's not an on-air personality. And this is, we're throwing her under the bus here.

You don't have to, Lucy. You can say no. I can. I was just doing work. She can, but she was just doing work. It just means things I'm delivering for Tom will take a bit longer. Well, that's a problem. Yeah, that's no good.

All right. So you're just joining us for a new. new character. Lucy, I don't do characters, alright? But I thought it would be funny if I did a chick. Yeah? So he's put a teetown on on top of his head. Looks like long hair. Oh, why don't you clean the coffee table? There's always stuff on the coffee table. I have a big day at work as well. I have as long of a day at work as well. I'm doing all of the cleaning at home. Could you, at the very least, put the cup in the dishwasher? If you take off your pants, put them in the laundry basket.

It's just I'm really stressed. All right, yeah. I'm really stressed, and I work too. So what it feels like to me is a sort of other time of traditional tradwife would be the phrase. No, no, she's a, what I'm going for is she works as much as I do, but she's frustrated that I'm not doing any work at home. Okay. It's funny.

It's an observation about the differences. That's funny, isn't it? It's funny. Thanks, Lucy. I preferred crocodile crypto, bro. I try it on. Do you want to, do you have any ideas, Lucy? Um, for characters.

For the chick character? No. Okay. Oh, hey, I'm a chick. Oh, oh, what do you mean? you haven't have an organized

haven't dry cleaned your suit for the races I've gone to all this effort I've bought a dress I've got a hat all you needed to do

was dry clean your suit that's all you needed to do and now we're going to the races in two days it's too late um it's funny

it's funny I've never I've never I've never I've never been sadder what about what Maybe it was Angelina Maybe it was

Maybe it was you not doing that character But I feel deeply, deeply sad now What's wrong with my cheat character I've not been this sad since my parents were gunned down In an alleyway when I was a young lad Oh yeah, that happened to you, do it I'll do a bit more of my cheek character Oh

That might help, yeah Yeah I can't believe you cheated on me Three weeks before our trip to Japan You've really You've really hurt me you really hurt me and I just

and I you know that I want to get married where are you pulling these stories from I'm just doing you know what chicks are like no I don't I don't I feel like this is more all of these all of these things that this chick character is saying

yeah sort of a more what she's saying seem very reasonable and fair statements yeah it's about the difference in chicks and dudes like she's calling out bad behaviour from one guy. Yeah, but it's about how they have different disagreements and stuff. What I'm envisioning is like a TikTok video where I play a guy, I play a chick,

difference between the guys and the chick is, I use a teetail. Could I like to see that? Could you play the guy as well? Oh, sure. Pull the teetail on and off. Yeah, so maybe give me a topic. You're off to the races. All right.

Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Let's get ready for the races. Lucy, you can keep doing work. You want, stay here, but do the work. Hey, babe, let's get ready for the races. I told you yesterday that it was going to take me an hour to get ready. I need to do makeup and stuff.

What do you mean we have to go now? Babe, come on. Come on, we're going to be late. But I have explained to you very clearly that I need an hour. Just because it's quicker for you doesn't mean I can't have. my hour. Fine, I'm going on my own. You can make your own way.

You can get an Uber. It's about how it takes chicks longer to get ready. It's like funny, you know, that takes them longer to get ready. Now, I've never, I've really sunk into a deep place of depression. It's about how, you know how chicks

take longer to get ready? You know this, Lucy. Yeah. Yeah. Guys just chuck on a suit. Takes them a bit quicker. No, I don't like this. Tom, do you have any pitches for the character?

I just feel like it's a very one-dimensional sexist character, Jack. Do you want to see my... I do the guy from peeking duck. That I'd love to say. Yeah. It's just a funny bit. I don't see what the issue is. No, I don't do that one.

What do you... You put the hat... You put the tea towel back on. hemorrhaging audience hemorrhaging guys I've had an idea I've had an idea

what about what we've become what have we become what has become of us why am I in a Batman cow and Lucy's sitting there and we've got a wig on come of us that we must keep podcasting so viciously

I'm empty I'm empty I'm giving you everything for nearly a decade I've I'm I've scraped and I've scraped this barrel

and it is empty and it is dry. What he's talking about? I'm Grant-design's Batman. I'm Jack Duane. I'll never be truly happy. I've been looking for the depth in this character for,

I mean, in me. Yeah. You've been looking for in introspection. You know, he just was a bit, dimensional. Not as one dimensional as great

designs Batman. It's two dimensions. Well, not as one dimensional as Batman. Once we found great designs, yeah, pretty good. And I was like looking for some depth. And I think I found the depth a week or two ago. That depth is sad. I'm a sad man. Trapped. Trapped by the expectations of the world.

Play some emotional music. Sure, sure. Um, or something fun and You can choose. Somewhere in the middle. Yeah. Can you, can you... Okay.

Shit. Well, I never thought about it that way. Okay, here we go. You know it's hard. People like me too. I own three houses. And my dad owns Twitter. I've been given everything

But it's never enough I have everything But I'll never have enough I don't know the name of my girlfriend Even though I've been with her for nine years I'll always compare myself to my friends In the AFL, Hollywood and the Triple J hottest 100. I'll never know what it's like to be a country boy. Step it off the

train and seeing the city for the first time. I just know that I'm not the Prime Minister like I was told I could be. Yeah it's hard for me. It's hard for me. It's hard for me. It's hard for me. My jaw isn't quite as chiseled as the other the boys. I'm not quite as tall. My dad isn't quite as rich. I'll never have enough. It's hard for me too. It's hard for me too. You know, I have to make those three payments every month on my private health insurance too. Wow. And it's not easy to be. Grand designs, Batman. So I have to talk about houses every day.

And how to stop Gotham falling to evil. Whether it's the Joker. Or whether it's Killer Crock. This house is made of mud. This house is made of repurposed aeroplanes. and I'm just fed up with it all And then to face He comes and fights me

And then killer crock comes And Harley Quinn And Jared Leto's Joker And I fight them all And There are a house I have to check in on it's shot over multiple

years Grand Designs Grand Designs Batman I'm Grand Grand Designs Batman It's not easy Being Grand Designs Batman Being GDP

Looking at houses And fighting crime in Gotham Alongside doing this podcast It's hard for me too Jack Dwayne It's hard for you It's hard for you It's hard for everyone

It's hard for Angelina and Lucy and Tom and Lucy Lou. Auntie Donna. You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another Ripper episode brought to you by Auntie Donna Club.com. See you next week. Welcome to the future.