Aunty Donna Podcast - Detector Inspector

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

We really wanted to tell you stories from the tour from the road but Mark & Zach had to get their smoke alarms tested. Then we all eat hot dogs for breakfast!   LINKS  Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig   Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS  Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya ZerekAudio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper   Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh   Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener production. G'day you lot and welcome to another episode of the Aunty Donna podcast. In this episode we're visited by a detector inspector who apparently just now in Victoria just come to your house all the time. Just all the time. And so we did a podcast about it. Remember if you want to hear more little bits and giggles and goofs, head over to the Aunty Donna Club dot com, powered by Patreon, where you can get more little bits and giggles and goofs every week, every month. Enjoy! For six years we've been doing this podcast, five different ways to have a laugh.

Four people on the podcast if you count, Tom, but actually it's really three. And that's what we are going to do today. Talk about how we can have too much fun in the podcast because there's only one Aunty Donna podcast. And we're back. We're back. With more tours from the road. Stories from the road.

Stories from the tours that happened on the road. Stories from the tour road, road tours. The road, Broden couldn't be with us. Unfortunately, he couldn't be with us. He got so mad that we didn't get to the point last podcast. So if you joined us last week, you don't have to listen in. We are, we have 100% caught you up. Yes.

We, uh, last year maybe depending on when this comes out, uh, we just got back from tour. Mm. We didn't do the list last episode. Scotland. Scotland. The UK. The UK. Ireland. Scotland. The UK. The UK.

Ireland. Ireland. The USA. The United States of America. Canada. Canada. I believe that's... Those were all the places.

Those were the places. We did shows there. We did shows in those places. And you know, some funny things happen on that road. Well, this is the thing, when you're touring on the road. Touring on the road. And in the air, there is a lot of touring in the air. There's a lot of touring on the road.

Crazy things, funny stories, incidences, people that you meet along the way. Things happen that would you say, what, funny, interesting, tours on the road? Stories from the, oh, someone's iPhone 4 is ringing. That's mine. Let me just pop that on. Sorry, just let me put you on speaker. Sorry just let me put you on speaker. Sorry, let me put you on speaker. Can you put him on speaker so I can hear him?

I'm on the second, I'm on my phone. I'm on the, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. One second. I'm on, I'm here with my friend, Mark. No worries, Mike. I'm just going to pop you on speaker. No.

Put him on speaker. Okay, you're on speaker. Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh, I hung up. Oh, that hung up. Oh, that's a shame. Sounded like something, you dropped something or something when he

was leaning back and so maybe you'll get a call back if it's important. If it's important, maybe they'll call back. I'll have my phone ready to go, ready to answer. And now I know where the speaker button is. Yes. I'll be ready to go. Sound sounded like they dropped a set of headphones If I'm being honest, yes it did and I would just on a separate note. I would suggest updating your iOS Have you heard of canned obsolescence Yeah, I think I think someone did that to me in primary school if I update my iOS

The whole thing crashes. Oh. Mark, you understand? Well, you're... I think that's yours. Is that mine? I have an iPhone 4, so that makes sense. Can you pop it on speaker?

Yeah, I'm trying. Hello? One second, I'm trying. Just let him know you're going to put it on speaker. One second, I'm going to put you on speaker. No worry, mate. Just pop it on speaker. Where is it? No worry, mate? What? You said you found it. Where is it? Found what? The speaker button. One second mate, I'm just gonna pop you on speaker.

I've got an iPhone you're gonna... Just hang up, this is awkward. Tours from the road and stories that happen on there. Some of the funny... Maybe I'll try and call back that number. Oh yeah. Um, oh no. Oh, there you go. Oh, they're calling me. Oh, they're calling you. Alright. Alright, I'll answer.

Oh, sorry. Put on speaker so I can hear it. Put on speaker. It's still ringing. I can't answer it. Okay, there we go. Sorry, I'm just gonna pop you on speaker. No, I already- Alright, you're on speaker. Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? We can hear you. Have I got you? Yes, you've interrupted...

We're just doing stories from the road. G'day, my name's Wanganine. I'm calling from Detector Inspector. Oh, Detector Inspector. Detector Inspector. Detector Inspector, I believe are people that come in to check your smoke alarms. Got it in one little big fella. I'm calling to make sure you got your, I'm booking you in for a Detector Inspector.

Can I just apologize Detector Inspector? Is that your, do you go by Detector Inspector? No, I mean I work for Wanganine. I'm Wanganine. I work for Detector Inspector. You're just going to pop your phone down. You're on speaker. You can still hear me, yes? Hello? Your first name is Wanganine, I work for Detector Inspector. I'm just going to pop your phone down, you're on speaker, you can still hear me, yes? Hello? Your first name is Wanganine?

You getcha. Now Detector Inspector, firstly I just want to apologise for not responding to that email. No, no, I'm not across that. I'm just calling to book in a time, your's called in needs you find a time to book in a detective inspector. Can I ask a question? Bloody shoot man. If it's about smoke detectors, I'll know everything he needs to know.

Well there's two questions. One is about Gavin Wanganine and wondering if there's a... No, no, no, no, no. No just a little, I used to have a speech impediment when I was a child. I said my R's is double U's. I said Wodger Wabbit. And that is, so laughing at that is ableist.

Okay. Well then I would never. We are proud of our people. They make a difference every day, finding people, opportunities for people who share the company's values. Wait, is it, is it reading? 7am tomorrow, does that work for you? 7 in the morning? I'd love to come in today. We've got time on detector and speak.

My question is... Gotta make sure the house is safe for you lot living in there properly. My question is... Yes, Mark? You've called us at our home. So we were just having a conversation about stories from the road. Just for yourselves, were you? Yeah, we were just in the kitchen enjoying a coffee talking about tours from the road.

Yes, and... Just to ourselves and our home that we share. My question is... As lovers. And lovers and friends. Because I think it's important to be both. Do you run a business together? What?

Do you run a business together? Don? Do you run a business together? Don't mix business and pleasure. That's what my pa always used to say. Absolutely. Yeah, no, we don't. We're like Aladdin and Jasmine in that sense. Do you understand? Oh yeah.

Well, listen, when's the Tomahawk gonna come over and check out your detector? He has a pet tiger and I have a pet monkey. My name is... It can just be Zach. It can be Zach. Zach? Zach, I think it's Zach, yeah. We moved into this place maybe about...

about a month ago. Yeah, we got a detector. You came then. Oh yeah? So, why... Well, I haven't got that information. I just know you've got to have it or else there's an impending fine for the owner of the company. They've changed the laws so they're probably just going to make sure it's...

How often though? I've just got you to come up on my program that I've got to come over to your joint. Number 3 slash 42 Water Lane Warren Dite. Got to get it done. Check it out. 8am tomorrow works for me. Check it out. 8am tomorrow works for me.

Yeah okay, I've got that but I need time to know mate. What? Anytime today? Anytime today. Where are you now? I'm out the front. Why? Why?

Yeah come in now. Righto. Should have just knocked. I've got, what's the time now? I'm out the front. Why? Yeah come in now. Righto. Should have just knocked. I've got, what's the time now? It's four in the morning. I've got 4.15 mate. Available? Yeah. But you're out the front of our home. Yeah but it's all gotta go through the brogram. What do you think of this guy? The brogram? This character? Yeah. Look I, if you feel like there's a full pot in him, I'm happy to keep going. If you want to wrap him up, I'm happy with that too. Well yeah, because getting to stories from the tour.

What's that? Just sort of, we recently went on tour. Oh right. What do you do? You go on and go to Europe on one of them little boats. Do you know what? Mark, I think your phone is calling. Maybe we'll get a ringtone sound come in.

Probably should give it an answer. Alright. Hello? It is ringing. Hello? It fades. I really like my phone. I set it to fade out every time I answer.

Can you pop it on... Your losses have been made. Hello? It fades. I really like my phone. I set it to fade out every time I answer. Can you pop it on? I'll put you on speaker. Are they still there? I'll put you on speaker. Hello? Hello, this is Warren. Warren?

I'm from the detector inspector. I'm just calling to book you in for a detector inspector. I've, Warren. Yeah. I've already got. Oh yeah, is that Warren on the phone? Yeah, I've, Warren, I've already got... Oh yeah, is that Warren on the phone? Yeah, I've got Warren on the phone.

Oh, you've got on the phone there? That's Wanganine. Oh, Wanganine, how am I? G'day, Warren, I'm just booking, I'm in for a 4.15am detector. Oh yeah, but I'm actually, I'm already in the neighbourhood, I know it was your house. Yeah, oh you're there, I am. Yeah, I'm actually out the front now and I thought you know while I'm here it's 4am I don't got nothing till 9 yeah I thought I'd give him a call

book him in well I'm following your mention that mate buy a lotto ticket because I'm at the front of the aisle. Why is that you down there? I flick on her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in.

I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in.

I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag her in. I'll flag your detecting speaker. I'm coming in from Frio. You guys came in- I come in from Frio every morning. You come in from Frio. So I drive in from Frio, I do the 18 hour drive.

You're wearing Warren Dyett. Yeah, so I drive across the Nullarbor Plain every morning. So I get up at- He's got a rocket car. I believe, is that your phone ringing, Wanganine? Yeah, well I don't know, I can't hear it. Is that your phone ringing? Oh, yeah, that's me.

Get the phone ringing through the... Should I come inside? No just pop that one on speaker. Alright just pop it on speaker. Alright, hang on mate I'll put you on speaker. Hello? Yeah mate. Who's that? It's Darren from Detector Inspectin'. Oh Darren from Detector Inspecting. I'm coming round your house, Detector Inspecting. Oh mate, I'm working today mate, so I can't have you. Well I'm out the front. Of my house? Yeah.

Well I'm out the front of Mark and Zach's house. Well. And Garen's there. Garen? Aye, no Darren, Warren, Warren. Warren there. Garen? No, Warren, Warren. Warren, Warren, Warren. So I'm out in front of Zach and Mark. And I'm facing the, so I'm on the,

so he did his headlights, right? And I'm on the other side of the road, so I must have come in, because I'm coming in from the east, and he's coming in from the west. And I come in, so I'm coming in from the east, and he's coming in from the west. And I come in, so I'm across the road from him. So I'm across the road in front of the house. Well, this is great that you're both here.

No, I'm telling you a story, mate. From the road? Mate, I'm telling you a story about him flashing the headlights at me. Do you want to hear me story or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm out the front, I give him a call. Wanganina here, he goes,'m here too flashes the lights are going

All right, mate That's the story. Yeah, well, I got something to tell you boys. Yeah, I just got promoted. Oh I'm detector inspector inspector You do inspect your detective I'm here to inspect your detective. Righto. Righto, there you go. I'm inspecting your detective. Well, I'm detecting now.

Are ya? I'm detecting here. Can I book you in? Well, I've got, come on, what do you got? I've got 454. Oh, I'm doing a 415. I'm doing a 415 as well, but I think that maybe my 415 might be the same as your 415 so we got to work that out. Well that was twice as quick with the detective.

Well yeah I believe I got to hear on the note, exactly there mate. Yeah. I'm going to hear a note saying you got two detectives is that right? I believe there's two detectives, one's out the front of our house at the moment. Oh yeah they're running out of here. right? I believe there's two detectors, one's out the front of our house at the moment. No, not bloody detectors, inspect, not inspectors, detectives. So we inspect the detectors. You inspect the detectors. What I'm saying- Smoked detectors, smoked detectors. I inspect the inspectors. So he inspects the inspectors and we got two here, one inspects. So what I'm thinking is if you got two detectors and one inspectors, maybe we could kill three birds, one stone, you get one of us looking.

That's a hell of a shot. What were you going to say Wanganay? I'll inspect the smoke detector, you inspect the smoke detector, he inspects the inspector's smoke detector. He inspects both of us. I'll inspect you inspecting those detectors. Then we're all done by five, we all go to the corner shop, hot dog for breakfast, iced coffee, couple of potato cakes.

And then just diarrhea for days. My miss A's packed me a spaghetti bolognese. I got that in the lunchbox, it's all gone. Leftovers or fresh? Just diarrhea for days. My miss A's packed me a spaghetti bolognese. Oh. I got that in the lunchbox. It's all gone. You had leftovers or fresh? Ah, she did in the leftovers. And it was great.

I said, so I might have that for breakfast. He did up spaghetti the next day. It's better than fresh. And then have a hot dog for afternoon tea. My wife used to do me a lunchbox. Big, big sandwich, rolled bacon sandwich, then a couple of little packets of shapes in there as well. But she left you didn't she? For a man that's exactly the same. Couple of lollies in there and a Freddo frog. Yeah but he

looks at gas meters that's the only difference. Can a different. Can of Coke, no sugar. Now I'm making me own lunch. Getting hot dogs for breakfast. Having a chicken schnitzel roll for lunch. Hey guys, this is all- I can't do too much. Oh, what are you saying? No, please, no, please, please.

I'm just saying I gotta pull back on the salt on a count of me heart. So I can't, even if I get the hot dog, I gotta go, no, I used to get extra salt on my hot dog. I'd get them to the poor salt on it. And I can't do that anymore on account of my nut. I've got to pull back on my foreskin, otherwise it gets stuck.

I've got to say, nearly Christy time, about 11 months months and I am excited to get a whole bunch of barbecue equipment boxes for Christmas from various family members. Maybe a barbecue apron, some barbecue utensils and bourbon flavored barbecue sauce. I've got no one left for me. Brother works up and down Mum and dad are gone Mrs. Game of the Flick. Your sister's not around? Nah, she does her thing down Port Macquarie So it's just me. I'll flick on the telly, shut the blinds and spend all day not inspecting, detecting Guys it's been really great to uh uh... Who's this, then?

I'm Mark. I'm the one who's called. I'm Mark. Hey! This guy's standing out... Wang has been standing out the front of my house. It's four in the morning. I don't know where you are. I mean, I... So, Amy, he's in front of me. I saw his headlights, right?

So, I'm on the other side of the road, facing him. Yes. Maybe diagonal. You got a diagonal there about... You do the Pythagoras. You got... I'm across from the road. Right. I always thought paying for love was low.

But now I understand. It's fine. I gotta do what you gotta do. The only moments of true feminine intimacy I have left. Hmm. Are those moments... Well... My hands are callous. My hands are callous like rocks.

What from? Detect and inspect. That's great. I gotta go, you know, say, you saying that, man? So if you got two detectors, alright, one near the kitchen, I presume, where's the other one? The other one is in the study. So my question is- Upstairs?

Yes. You got one downstairs? One downstairs, one upstairs. Smoke rises, so you gotta have one up the top of the house. One of these new townhouses are popping up everywhere, eight in a row. Yeah, they do. Yeah, you ain't lying! Yes, I'm not.

That's Darren. Darren's an inspector, inspector. And Darren here, he's gonna wanna watch both of us at the same time. If it's alright! Let's just do a roll call. You got Zank? Hello? Yeah, hi. You got Matt? Yes. You got Wayne in there, that's me. You got Warren? And I'm Zingammer. And you got Dan? So my concern here, Matt, is we've got a... we're here 415, we've got a 415 coming up.

The concern here, Mark, is we're here 415, we've got a 415 coming up. And I was thinking maybe I'll do the one downstairs. Wanganini here, he's my senior, he's been here a few years longer, he can do the one near Kitsune. That gets more use. If our fella, our inspector inspector, were to stand in the middle of the stairs, is he going to be able to see both of us work at the same time? He'll get like a he'll be able to see One like the one downstairs to be able to see their feet. Yeah, no, because I assume he'll be on a ladder And he'll be able to see the other one in his full form. Where does that work Darren?

What? How does that work for you? Look, you say just a reiterate. Yeah upstairs.'re just going to see the steel cap blunstones. We're going to get Wanganine on the kitchen because he's the senior. He's been doing this for a few more years. I gave my life to the job and it cost me my feminine touch. It cost me the love of my wife. He bought into the business, right? I gave my life to the industry.

So he had a different, he had the detector, the detector, the detector inspector. Yes. Alright, Mac got bought by detector inspector, folded in. I was there before you lot even existed, before they were even inspecting the detectors. Alright, me, I'm just an employee, alright? Yeah. And I've been doing it 15 years, alright, but he's been doing it 15. I've been inspecting and I was here before you were a knee-high to a grasshopper inspector.

So I'll get him to do the kitchen. That's the more important one. I'm just doing it. You know, I've done that a lot of times. I do them every day. Yeah? So is that all right if you can only need blundstones? Hey, I'll make it work.

I can make it work. I'll make it work. I've got a 415 though, so we've got to hurry up. Well, aren't you a 454 for us. I'm out the front of your house. Oh, yeah. So how's that work? What? What's that then? Where are you?

We're out the front of Mark and Zach's. I can be there in 10 minutes. Righto. Let's go drive down from Maroomba. We just ticked over. We just ticked over. We gotta do it all with the app now. Yeah, it's all online. We just ticked over for 4.15, so we gotta do 4.30 now.

Can we uh? I got 4.33. I would love to uh... Who's this then? This is Mark. Oh hi Mark. G'day Mark. We're out in the front.

I know. Yeah. Why don't you just come in now? Nah, can't do that. Right? Nah, you gotta do a whole... We're doing two is... We're doing through the app now. Well, we've got stories to tell. You got to fill in a form first.

So if you go through the portal... The portal. There's a portal. You go in there and you give out address, you know, COVID certificate. Then I'm coming. And that goes through Susie, right? She's in the office. Yes.

There's also the inspector detectors on her ass. So she's in the office, right? Yes. She's in charge of the apps and everything. She's in the office. Yes. Also the inspector detectives on her ass. So she's, she's in the office, right? Yes. She's in charge of the apps and everything. She's a young'un and she does all the apps and whatnot. Right. Got to go through her app. So I used to, we used to just do it.

Remember when it was just paper on the dashboard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or dashboard. Yeah, you know, in the- And a walkie talkie. Passenger seat dashboard. Yeah. That's a perfectly fine desk, you know?

Yeah. You understand that You know, no, I kind of I'm gonna be honest. I kind of blanked out in the middle of that I'm starting in so you probably got you probably got a desk in your study. I do have a desk I'm gonna concentrate this time. Yeah, I do have a desk and stuff through there. Well, we were doing a podcast my friend Zach and I My lover and friend. Yeah, we're doing a podcast this morning about Zach and I, my lover and friend, we're doing a podcast this morning about stories from the road. We just went on tour.

4am you were doing that. Yeah, 4am. Well, you know, we're night owls, which like if you were to talk to Demi Lardin, we'd tell you it was just a regular owl. Ha ha ha, yeah, that's good. No, because it's morning here for us, so I was up at two. I go to bed, so I'll do my day, I'll come down from three, I'll start my day around four, if there's any,

they only book them in at six. I don't sleep much anymore. I don't know. A piece of toast for dinner, that's all I need. I wrap up around midday. I try and get as many houses many many houses in I can before I have my hot dog at six. Yeah and then I get I get so I do me full day by about midday 1 p.m. The young fellows I go to the gym then they'll do it because

they're doing the gym and everything there and I'll go lift and they'll bloody they'll bloody go in there and lift and carry on. Yeah and I go I don't need that. Yeah and the young fellows I go to the gym and I go oh no in there and lift and carry on. Yeah, and I'll go, I don't need that. Yeah, and the young fellas, I'll go down to the gym and I'll go, oh, no, don't bugger that. So I'll just go in, you know, get home, I'll try it. Maybe I'll do a bit of a, I don't know, you know, you just don't, yeah. I'll get home to the miss out about 6pm.

Nice. So you started, start at 2am. Wake up at 2am. And then he's done by 6pm. No, I'm done by 12. He's done by 12. Done by 12. And then he's done by 6pm. No, I'm done by 12. He's done by 12. Done by 12. And then he did something in between those hours.

And then I just drive around, you know, that sort of thing. Drive to drive around? Yeah, drive around, you know, go out to do the light. For six hours? Go out to do the light, you know. Chuck in 20 other puggies. That's for sure. Maybe I'll have a couple of beers, you know, get a couple of tinnies and drink them in

the car. Yeah. And then I'll be home by about six. In the car. And she'll, you know, and she'll have some dinner ready for me because she's, she finishes around three. She works in, um. She's a teacher? No, she works, she's a mental health nurse. And then I'll get to bed about six thirty. Yeah. Up by two. Okay. My hands, they've touched that many smoke detectors, mate. Got a little battery I should, you know. Yeah, that's right. Well guys. Can I come in?

Yeah, it's 4.15. Well. Who is it? One second. I got to get off the phone. Who is it? Warren. Hello.

Hello. Wanganine. Detective Inspector. Oh, of course, the Detective Inspector. Let me just open the front door, but not the security door. Hello. Hello. It's me, Wanganine from the phone.

Oh, we were just talking on the phone, Warren and Wanganine. Warren and Wanganine, the phone. Oh, we were just talking on the phone, Warren and Wanganine. We got Darren here. Now he's going to detect the, inspect the us. Yes. And we're going to detect your smoke and dick. That's all you've got in me. It's just sort of formality.

You've caught me at a bad time. I'm in the middle of doing stories from the, uh, tours from the road. Yeah, good on you mate. Our audience. What do you do for a job? I'm, uh, you know, I'm sort of like a, like a freelance, like, writer, performer, comedian. I should do a bit of riding back in the day, but the horses are just too expensive to maintain. No, ride, you're thinking riding.

Yeah, I had a horse. I was brought in with a couple of mates. We had about 400 bucks each. Yeah. This is when I was married. And you'd go and see it up at Randwick or you'd see it during the rural horse racing. And... Werribee? You ever make it to Werribee? There was a meet out there, yeah. Yeah. So my one was my daughter's, right? She, I wanted a horse and, oh jeez, I was seven years old, she watched that saddle girl. Saddle club.

Saddle club, yeah. She always wanted a horse and we got her one and she would go out on the Saturdays and Sundays and go for a ride. It was good because that was near the gun range so I'd go shoot some targets, shoot some clay. Yeah, nice. Alright. Uh, I'm in.

Do you want me to come in? Fuck it. Yeah, come in. You want me to shoot the air out with shoes? Yeah, take the shoes off if you could. You mind if I do a poo? Uh, no that's fine. There's only one toilet.

We're the detector inspectors. I know. Why do they? I'm gonna do a quick poo cause I've kind of, I don't have a, you know, I've got a, this is my work, you know, as a people's place. Yes. I'm gonna do a quick poo and then I'll come and inspect the detector. Alright here I go. Beep.

Yeah, that's good. Alright here, I'm done with me poo. Yeah, it stinks. Let me have a look. Beep beep. Yeah, I'm gonna change it back. Alright, sorry boys, I missed it. I missed it.

Can you do it again? Well I'm booked up now. Oh fuck. Alright, we're gonna have to come back. Alright, we're gonna have to come back. Alright, we're gonna have to come back. Alright, we're gonna have to come back. Alright, we're gonna have to come back. Sorry boys I missed it. I missed it. Can you do it again? I'm booked up now. Oh fuck. Alright we're gonna have to come back. Alright when are you free Mark? In like 20 minutes. Right I'll book you. Go through the portal and just lock that in for me. I'll do that through Susie. Yeah. Are you talking to Susie the other day saying the portal we're not entering in, I'm not entering in the portal.

You think that makes sense? No, yeah, there's a new portal for the portal. Right, yeah, because I've been doing that, because I used to do it just with the paper on the dashboard. Yeah. Can you guys get out of my way? No, no. All right.

So now Susie's telling me that I'm not entering in my, entering in right, is that right? Yeah. No, you use the book. Can you show, you're a young fella, show him the portal. Alright, so what happens is you shoot it. I've got to put on my reading glasses. Yeah, put on your reading glasses. So you shoot it at this wall and that's a blue hole and you don't really.

Shoot like clay targets. No, yeah, kind of like that. And then if I shoot it at this wall, you see it's an orange hole. So he's got a portal gun. If you walk through that blue hole. Oh, like science fiction. You see now watch this. Look, I put my arm through the blue hole.

If you look over there, there's my arm coming out. Wow. That's very funny. We can put some sci-fi sort of sounds. My nephew did the Olympics. What? My nephew did the Olympics shooting. Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah, clay shooting. Yeah, he got fourth. My nephew, he makes coffee machines out in, down towards Crammond. So he gets them around. Yeah, nah, I had a teacher, my English teacher, going back a while now, she was a judge for the archery 2000 Olympics. Oh yeah, she go. Yeah, that's right.

German girl. Now she was just a judge. I was a- Just a judge. For the Commonwealth in 2006, I was a volunteer and I worked out at the Derriban lawn bowls. Did they give you the polo? Did you get to keep the polo? Yeah, we kept that.

We kept the big- they did a big fancy windbreaker and we had a nice Coober hat. And I kept that all and it still fits. And I've always wanted to do that. I've wanted to do that. I will, when I'm walking the dog, I'll chuck the hat on occasionally, you know, the windbreaker and people go, you work at the Olympics. You know, not a Commonwealth game. No, right.

Yeah. You know, Susie used to do a bit of dance. She does the dance and she used to do the Stedfordords and what not she was telling me. Who was that? Susie the girl that does all the app. Oh she used to do song and dance. Yeah the rocker. The rocker Stedfords. Yeah the rocker Stedfords. Oh yeah yeah yeah. She was telling me about that. That's a bit of fun isn't it? Yeah. We went and saw um good luck. Yeah. Back when I was married we went in town and saw, we went and saw, we saw Phantom of the Opera. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good. Now I remember took the, back when I was married, the wife and the kids to that Mamma Mia. Yeah. Now, I loved that. Abba, great funny laughs. Kids loved it too. Didn't even know. In fact, my boy took him to our brushes one day and he's walking around he goes, Dad, what's a backwards BBA? Fuck, I laughed.

Fuck, I laughed at him. I didn't go to the musicals. Whenever the missus goes to the musicals, she'll go with the girls. Girls will go to the musicals. And then the boys, there's one bar. Golden Nugget, you go to? I go to Golden Nugget. I went to one bar after a football game 10 years ago. You were? I went to a football game 10 years ago. I found one bar near Southern Cross Station

and I loved it so much. It's the only place I go. Because we bought in Rockbank. We bought in Rockbank in 2004. And that was when, so I live in Rockbank in 2004 when that was out. So I live in Rockbank now and we don't go in the city that often but when we go in I'll park at Milton and then I'll catch a train in from there because it's too hard to drive. That's only a couple stops.

I drive for a job across Melbourne but I'll park at Milton and then I'll go for a job across Melbourne, but I'll park it in Melbourne. And then I'll go in the Mackers on, we'll have lunch at Mackers in Swanson Street. Yeah, you're on inflation, inflation these days. Then we'll go to Golden Nugget and put a 20 in and then we'll go home. Yeah, I remember, I remember when you could go into Melbourne, get a focaccia and a latte for $5.50 and then one day- And they're not bad in there. album, get a focaccia and a latte for 550. Yeah. And then one day.

And they're not bad in there. Not bad. Then one day you go in to get a bloody focaccia, $8. Yeah, I know they're going up, you know, you're not, you're spending double digits on the latte and so on. I can't, I can't drink a caffeine on a cup of that. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you have a cuppa? Yeah, I'll have 73 cups of tea a day. But I can't do the coffee, I'm buzzing. Yeah. There's a lot of caffeine apparently in tea though. Well, depends. You don't sleep you say? You wake up at two and work till drive around.

What tea? Black tea.? Oh yeah, what tea? Black tea. Well, yeah, there's caffeine in that. Yeah, but I don't like coffee. I have a coffee on bed and all that. But if you have, I think what Wanganine is saying, if you have a V. Yeah, I have a V at four and then I have my hot dog at six with the skin on ones, those red ones. The trainees will do that sometimes. They'll have a V and then they'll head off to the gym. Who do that?

The kids. The young ones, you know, the new fellas. Yeah. And I go, I'll do it. And they're covered in tats too, aren't they? Yeah. They're covered head to toe in tattoos. I don't know, Jesus Christ.

I haven't seen that many tattoos since my spedaling the Navy during the Korean War. Yeah. Yeah. That was a tough one. Yeah, that was tough, mate. Yeah, tough one. G gave him a good run. I had to do some stuff I regret. Well, you've passed my inspection.

Oh, great. Flying colours of it. Yeah. Well, what do you say we go to the Golden Nugget? But first, we have some hot dogs for breakfast. Oh, yeah. And a Nippy's ice coffee. Oh, yeah. Now it's time for our song. Lindsay, can you find a song for us to sing hot dogs for breakfast too?

Thanks. Just any sort of anything you have. Thanks so much, Lindsay. Even if it's something lined up for another podcast. Oh, even if it's, you know, the sound of a certain ringtone. But then we'll jump back into these characters as they close. There you go. Here's my favorite song.

Yeah. Hot dog. Wait. Here we go. Five, six, seven, eight. Hot dogs for breakfast. Hot dogs for breaking. Have myself a hot dog in a white sesame seed roll. Hot dogs for brekkie Have myself a hot dog in a white sesame seed roll

Hot dogs for brekkie Hot dogs for brekkie You'll have a bit of salt on your hot dog for brekkie but no more Tell you why The doctor said they will solve your hot dog It's not good for your heart I'm gonna hot dog for breakfast Hot dog and tomato sauce

Margarine if they've got it Margarine if they've got it Margarine if they've got it Hot dogs for breakfast It's six a.m. and it's time for a hot dog breakfast at 6am Get a snag and some bread, don't mind it in a white piece of bread Doesn't have to be in a roll for me grilled onions Put the sauce on top, I like a hot dog for Brekkie

Put it down here in my tum. Yeah, I have that with my scoffy yum. Very good, it's a hot dog sometimes. We're gonna get in a room and we're gonna have a stump. And at 6am, Tom, our dog is at George's, we get a pie as a breakfast well. Everything's going, it's going okay. Hot dog for breakfast.

Well guess what, six in the morning, you need to fill up your tums. Time to... Time to have a hot dog for breakfast. Hot dog for brekkie. Having a hot dog, wanna go in the shop and they're in the water. They're picking them out and putting them in a roll.

I'll put the sauce on with me and brekkie break it all cost four bucks with a iced coffee too. Five fifty there in the ice, ice come. And then I'll go to about twenty five houses of young people who will rent the property and then I'll check their smoke to take them and I'll bet myself a home and straight to bed and then up in the morning having myself a hot dog for breakfast. Oh, Saint Sein, a couple of divvies, Count Shackett, a couple of divvies. So for breakfast, I'll tell you what I have.

I don't know what I'm having. Can you just pop that music back on? It's not supposed to be over. Just from the start. Still two more verses to go at least. Five, six, seven, eight. Count me in. Six, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Can I have for breakfast a hot dog with margarine? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. When I have for breakfast a hot dog with margarine, hot dog with tomato sauce, and of course a cabaladimmy's, cabaladimmy's on the side. Hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for breakfast at dog for breakfast at 6am Hot dog for breakfast

Hot dog for breakfast Hot dog for breakfast at 6am Oh shit, nothing but liquid All day, all the day Don't know why, don't go to doctors either Don't wanna know But I have a hot dog for breakfast at 6am When I can get em and put out the water

All get from Snag, get from Barnex, all get from shop Hot dogs for breakfast is good Gotta have it in my tummy and you know you should It's so yummy when I have it And breakfast then too Shit, potato cakes too Not too much salt Sometimes I'll get a little hedgehog on the side I'll chock your little hedgehog with my hotdog

for breakfast When you think about it You don't have to have meals when you think you should Maybe, maybe you have some cereal for tea Or maybe you have a hotdog for breakfast, that's what I do every day. Hey cunts, it's 5am, get the fuck out of my house, what the fuck are you still doing here? What do you say we all go... Lindsay, we just cut there.

What do you say we all just go out for a hot dog for breakfast? Hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for... breakfast. Coffee! Not me though, no thank you. I have a big thermos of tea. My big thermos from 1973. It's real fuck looking. It's about the size of a human head. I've tea in it and I drink it up. I have tea, hot dog and two dimmies. Every day for my breakfast. Hot dog for breakfast. Hot dog for breakfast. Hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for breakfast, hot dog for breakfast. Well, sorry I didn't mean to interrupt, I didn't realise the song was still going. Hey, alright mate.

Why don't you join in, Max? Hey, okay, you want me to join in, alright. Well, you guys have hot dogs for breakfast. Seems to happen every day at 6am and let me say, I think that's a-okay. I wouldn't mind getting to bed now. Got things to do, stories from the road, travels from the road. Got things to do, gotta talk about them with my friends.

But I wanted to... Oh, the chorus is here. Hot dog for breakfast here hot dog for breakfast Dog for breakfast we're happy at 6 a.m Now considering I wake up at 2 a.m And have a bowl of special K before I leave the house you could argue that that hot dog is your lunch So I don't I think it's your breakfast hot dogs for breakfast. I'm a fire thing. I'm a one-man hot dog for breakfast That's your lunch! But I don't. I think that's your breakfast. Hot dogs for breakfast are my favourite thing. Hot dogs for breakfast.

That's it. Well we need to figure out the chorus here. Oh it's good, it's so good to have hot dogs for breakfast. You know you should because it's very good. But I wanna know what kind of hot dogs cause I'm getting different things. Is the banning snack count as a hot dog for breakfast? Or, oh That's your lunch at Bunnings Hot Dogs

Bunnings Sausage on the weekend That's maybe your lunch or something No sir, that's not it Guys Hot dog for breakfast I'm, guys, I'm gonna have to cut you off there I'm sorry man, I've got a little bit more of the soul to me. Alright.

A bowl of Sultana brand before I go, that's more of a midnight snack. A little bowl of a special kale Sultana brand, whatever. I gotta try and keep going. I was gonna say I gotta keep cutting you off until it gets to this bit because when this bit comes I can't resist It's the best bit of the whole song. It's got such a drive and it's really fun Takes you by surprise every time please keep going Zach over to you No Wayne Wayne Wayne my name is Lauren, but I reckon it's about time to hear from Wayne I mean

I have my dog for breakfast every single day. Yum. I'm gonna have to cut yous off here. I'm his hot man. I eat a hot dog for breakfast. Yum. I eat them every day. Oh, that sounds good. I eat them up.

Yeah, say it all. Lindsay, cut it there. I'm gonna have to get you guys Out of my house. Yeah, I don't know where the fuck is that has gone Hey, he's got the awesome guy then he was gone down there. Maybe get a packet of cigarettes or something Maybe that's he loves to smoke or not. Zack, but I'll just Gone down the corner shop. I thought maybe that's, I was thinking maybe I'll go get a pack of cigarettes and we could have our dog for breakfast or something like that. Oh that sounds pretty bloody moody. All I've had to eat all day is a bowl of sultana bread. Right well then that's your breakfast. No I don't do that to you. You've been listening to

the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week!