Aunty Donna Podcast - Hollywood

Episode Date: August 15, 2018

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Starting point is 00:00:00 A LISTEN-F PRODUCTION A LISTEN-F PRODUCTION A LISTEN-F PRODUCTION You listen to the only ton of podcasts The greatest fucking book I've seen a while Buried my Kentucky sometimes and guessed We hope you enjoy the part of the fucking podcast Broden.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Yes? Desoid. Hello. Let me just mute that. What? We find Mark and Broden devoid of hope with their comedy careers. Hey, I'll just see me that. I've got hope. I'm not all right. All right. to Hollywood Los Angeles to pursue their lifelong dream of becoming actors without a money in their pocket or a us hold to grab onto. Mark and Broden have just, California, you at sorry.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Broden, I don't, here we are at Hollywood Boulevard and I don't have an asshole to grab onto. Well here, grab onto this. Oh, thank God. Recently you've prolapsed, so it's very easy to hold onto grab onto your asshole. I've always recently prolapsed. I've been worried lately. I've been feeling a lot of pressure down there.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Emotionally. Emotionally and physically. Family, saying, gotta get a job, Mark, when are you gonna settle down? When are you gonna give us a grand kid? The... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha My my dad would be an amazing grandfather, but here we are in Hollywood He will for now Hollywood California Los Angeles with only one asshole to hold on to Nellie and it is a good. I saw right. I saw it soft. It's squishy
Starting point is 00:01:57 I'm you know We should have thought of an accommodation before we got that flight. What did you do in flight? By the way? I just played Switch. I played NBA 2K, 28, 2K. That's funny, that's the game I play. It's OK, 18. Yeah. Great, getting those stats up.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Right, you gotta get them stats up. Get them stats up. All right, we gotta find someone to live. If we're gonna become famous actors like Jason Baitman or We're gonna become famous actors like Patrick Stewart Patrick Stewart Or Alicia Cuffin. Or Alicia Cuffin. Or Alicia Cuffin is a man just whispered to me as he walked down the street. Hollywood's a weird place.
Starting point is 00:02:50 You and I have an conversation and one rent. Oh God, I just got a way. I think that was Alicia Cuffin. I think Alicia Cuffin just walked past there's a whispered Alicia Cuffin in our ear. No, where Hollywood's a different place to Melbourne where I'm from. It's much smoother. Yes, everything all that.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Ooh. Ooh. Alicia Cuffford. Oh, god. Now that's just the wind. The wind has Alicia Cuffford just riding on it. Who is Alicia Cuffford? I'm sure she had a career in the late 90s to early 2000s and hasn't worked for 10 years.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Yeah, because I do know the wind and that tends to be what the wind. It just tends to be what Hollywood does to female actors, unfortunately. There it is again. It turns them into the wind. Hollywood is an awful place. But we've decided to come here and try and make it as men. Sam, what was that? Sorry, I was just looking at Alicia Cuthbert's best scenes. It's just a compilation on YouTube. Oh, great. What are you doing here?
Starting point is 00:04:00 I don't know Alicia Cuthbert. Is she and she's all that? No, she's in Girl Next door. She's in 24. Girl next door. Hey, if I can just one second, just one second, wait, Sam, what are you doing in LA? And why aren't you surprised that Sam is in LA? Well, he came with me. I was on the flight.
Starting point is 00:04:18 You're on the plot, I was on the flight. I was, I misspoke. I meant, I was on the flight, but I put a put in there and you said, pull me out on the... Well, that does explain why you're here. Do you want to become an actor? No Now Sam's just here for the ride. He's gonna direct plays that we're in and Just sort of take a backstep because Sam said to me on the plane He was like you two guys walk on stage and you're funny instantly. I don't have that
Starting point is 00:04:43 So I want to be I want to be a rider and tiny to that strength and he's got a, I did not say that. And you do have a tiny, well, you know, when they did the, you know, they do the, the, the demonstration where they show you how to, you know, encase the land, the place to plane very gently lands in the ocean. Yeah. As they do often, and then you just need to go down the big slide. And they do the demonstration with the inflatable life vest. Sam leaped out of his seat. You did.
Starting point is 00:05:17 You just leaped out of his seat as they had it and inflated it, brush past it with his pants, and his little pin-tick. His little pin dick Torrent Torrent open and then the air went out and everyone was like Usually happened that's not it's not if you are sitting next to little pin dick Sam All right Sam both face loss there best Sam. That's how I remember it now. That's fine. Oh. Sam.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Let's put you dick away. We got to find a combination. Oh, there's the cupboards. Oh, there it is. All right. So here we are at Elisa cupboards, yes. Who whispered then? Was the wind?
Starting point is 00:06:02 Was it the house? Was it Elisa? The wind's the world. The wind's the world. You've told us to go to Elisa cupboards. Old prop. Who whispered that was the wind was at the house was it a lesion To go to elitica that's old prop has your tummy by the way because in our audience You keep checking up on my gut health because last week. I was running thing Yeah, yeah, you got it. You should listen to the episode mark. I mean Ben does a very good you Yeah, I someone someone did his impression of me to me, which was very funny. Anyway, Alicia Cuffman's house. Did it go something like this? Yeah, fuck you! You're a fucking asshole!
Starting point is 00:06:35 He goes like, oh Mark, fuck you! It's like that. It was very hot and then he just occasionally go, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And then he goes, now it's like, oh, you get it, you get it, you get it. Fuck you! A little bit of fuck you! Very accurate. And as someone said in a comment, the funniest markers have ever been. Well, here we are at the Leesha Cuffbid House. What's it saying on the front there?
Starting point is 00:07:02 Room full rent. Oh, just quickly, in terms of gut health. Yeah. The tests I've been doing is they give you a big cup of whatever you might be allergic to. And then, have they try and come. I haven't tried come yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm all right with a bit of come.
Starting point is 00:07:19 You've given up everything, but come. I've given up everything but come. And they gave you a few wins of Hollywood. They gave me a big cup of fructose And they'll let us just let's see if he's allergic to fructose as I had a big cup of fructose at nine in the morning after I've been fasting for about 12 hours and then I sat down and I was like oh I'm going to shit myself And then I immediately went and did a strange pop off out of my bum into a toilet. It's very strange when you shit yourself and you haven't eaten for 12 hours.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Here we are! Here we are at the wonderful farm. What does it say? Room for rent. Now, do you reckon that means there's a room to perform the musical rent in or Do you think that that room we could pay to stay in well, let's find out let's knock on the old door One second one second we're just knocking My oh my fists have become bloody. Do you want to be an actor or not?
Starting point is 00:08:25 I want to be the best damn actor since, um, uh, they're knocked through the pain. Here goes nothing. Hello? Hello. What? What is it? What are you all doing? We saw this sign. I'm okay. Hi. Hi. I'm Broden.
Starting point is 00:08:59 First of all, hello. We all went Broden always forgets to say hello. I'm Broden. Okay. Okay. I can't get you Broden, always forget to say hello. I'm Broden, okay? Okay, I got you. Broden, that's your name. I'm just so much talk. Let me just put it this way.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Alright, let me just put it this way. Alright, I'm Broden. You're Broden. I'm Broden. I'm Broden. A young, sprightly boy, I've seen many of you pass through here. And what's your name, little boy? My name is Mark.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Your name is Mark. Your name is Mark. Your name is Broden and let me guess. You've got dreams of being a Hollywood superstar. Let me just finish. This is also Sam with the tiny dick. Sam with the tiny dick. I tell you Sam, it's not about the size of your dick. It's whether you can act, whether you can write,
Starting point is 00:09:39 or whether you can produce. You can't act. I'm not here to act and I don't have a tiny dick. But he's a wonderful writer don't have a tiny dick. But he's a wonderful rider. He's a wonderful rider. Well, that's fantastic. Because I have a film idea,
Starting point is 00:09:51 a film that will bring me back. Oh, I should say, my name is Alicia Cuthbert. Oh, hello, Alicia Cuthbert. All right. Right. Hi, Alicia Cuthbert. We've been here in your name on that old Hollywood wind. Oh, those Hollywood winds, they speak highly of me because I'm coming back, boy.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah, as winds are responsible for a lot of the bushfires. Oh, yes. Very heavy winds. Those bushfires. They've been raging since 2005. The Hollywood guards have been angry that I haven't been getting work anymore. We want some clarity, at least, Shac they should cut that being performed by 1940s. Harlett? No, the idea, it'll sort of emerge. Oh, hints. Anyway, I think it works thematically, unless if we explain it. All right. Also, you were in the ranch in 2016, that was quite popular.
Starting point is 00:10:46 That was a great film. I know the people at Netflix and they said, Alicia, we don't want one of those young, Fitty Diddies. We want a woman with experience. A woman who knows how to act. A woman who's done television, God dammit. Oh.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Right. Right. Anyway, this sign says room for rent. Now, we need clarity. Yes. Is that you have a room that we could sleep in? Oh, have breakfast in shower, poo, poo poo poo poo poo. Yeah, poo poo, I get it, everybody poo poo. Alright. Especially me. For money. Or is it a room, like a theater, where we could perform the musical rent,
Starting point is 00:11:37 a story about AIDS, poverty, and creativity created by Jonathan Larson. We need a place to rent, because we're in Hollywood. We're just a couple of pair actors. We want to be the next Dario Foe. Let me ask you a question, boys. Dario Foe.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Let me ask you a question, boys. Do you think you're in the Great White Way? Or are you in Hollywood? What, the Great White Whale? The Great White Way. New York City. That's where the theatre stars are. This is all about the movies here. Oh, is it? Yeah, we don't do plays of red films.
Starting point is 00:12:13 We have to go to New York then. I thought you did plays here. No, you know what? You know what? When you think about it. I'm thinking. A play. a movie. No. Okay, when you think about it. Yeah. I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Starting point is 00:12:31 A teller of a movie. A movie. Really is a play. Because they call it a play because you play. Can I tell you my thoughts on movies, boys? Mmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm days. Everybody's talk, talk, talk. I mean dialogue. Oh, that dialogue. I tell you in my days, it used to be silence. It used to be the look in the eye of the young angel knew. I tell you. I don't know you.
Starting point is 00:13:13 When I was doing 24, when I was doing 2005's House of Wax, I used to act with my eyes, boys, and then they replaced me. They threw me to the cur. House of Wax. So do you know Paris Hilton? I know Paris Hilton, a great actress and they threw her to the curb just like me Are you suggesting? Good sir I'm a lady
Starting point is 00:13:36 Good sir I get fan mail every day of me in the letters I do I get letters every day from my fans Great That's getting you. Letter to Side Goods, sir. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Listen, you handsome gentleman. No, I am Alicia Casper. Listen to me. Are you suggesting that in the year, the 2000s, when Alicia Cuff but you, was in work as an actor? I was a superstar that was pre Dialogue in films. I tell you to television there and it didn't need words I live I live through the 2000s. Yes. I'm a survivor. Yes, and I
Starting point is 00:14:17 The noughties. Oh, yes. I see you all not of 9 11 just of the noughties. No I just wanted to put that there. I want to say, I remember going to movies, sir. Yeah, I'm not a sir. I'm talking to, and the movie's talking. Well, I tell you, back then, movies were about more than talking. But I had to, I had to. You remember dialogue from GW Griffiths when he directed me in 24 episode 9. Is this a bit too weird? No, it's just I know that GW is either a real director of this.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Yeah, no, he did, yeah, is he directored episode nine of 24 and he looked at me and he said, you're a superstar. I'm pretty sure that there was talking in that. Oh, no, I tell you. In 24, you're saying there was no dialogue in No, no, no, not even hello Jack Bauer Jack Bauer he didn't need to talk I'm pretty sure he dialogue was essential to the storytelling of 24 let me tell you the great actor of those days It was sensual. I tell you the great actors of those days the gricky for Sutherland
Starting point is 00:15:44 Rudolph Valentino. They didn't need to talk. No, no I'm pretty lost came out in the norris yet. Yeah, so much talking No, there wasn't talking those are the days of silent feel you're suggesting When are you suggesting that dialogue was added to film? I tell you dialogue was added and they kicked me to the curb They kicked me to the car like Hollywood always does in 2005. 2005. So, up to 2005, including all what, seven seasons of 24, I don't know how many there were. No, they went to dialogue in season five.
Starting point is 00:16:16 They went to dialogue. So, seasons one to four of 24 were shown on TV and what people just had like a piano score that they would play in their houses Yeah, and that's how we would watch that with just so someone in the house if you didn't know how to play piano You're telling me you couldn't experience 24 well you could do it. It's for just silently and that's all you'd need is the acting with my eyes Anyway, anyway you and your understanding. Oh, sorry. Let me just say, season five didn't have that much talking. It was still silent, but just occasionally we'd break out into song.
Starting point is 00:16:53 What? No, not true! No, not true! No. Yes. So Jack Bauer would be interrogating. interrogating. Yes!
Starting point is 00:17:03 Yes! I misspoke. I haven't acted in years. Gah, I'm a hero grade. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes'm cheek. Yeah, not for me. I need to lose weight because I'm going to be a superstar yet again. Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I'm going to take a note from my good friend, Mr. Alicia Cuthbert, and I'm going to get no chicken juice. Okay, tiny, dick cut. Get me out. Sorry. I would just...
Starting point is 00:17:42 I was just, it's fine. I'll have a biscuit. You want a biscuit. I'll have a biscuit. I'll have Onits like a scotch finger. No, and it's his Australian not here No, Eric and you can you can you get them if you look Eric and if you went to a whole foods I reckon they'd have an it. I'm not gonna hold food so I'm gonna I'm just gonna pop ice all right I'll get a Delta cream Okay, if you go in the whole food I'm just gonna pop ice. All right, I don't get a Delta cream. Okay. If you go in the whole foods,
Starting point is 00:18:06 can I get a Delta cream? I'm not gonna hold foods. Can I get a, can I get a, can I get a, you can't say, hold foods. I'm not going to hold foods. There we go. Get me a, get me some of that fresh, rabbi only they go going on there.
Starting point is 00:18:16 I'm not going to hold foods. I'm going to pop ice. I'm saying if you're going to hold foods. I'm not going to hold foods. Last time I was at hold foods, I was doing a fresh lobster. Yeah, at the front, no. Bobie Q and the lobster.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Mark, you've been difficult. Sam can't go to Whole Foods. I'll get my buttlet to go for you. You have a buttlet? Yeah. You're very successful. No, he works for free because he loves me. I'm a superstar. Isn't that just like a partner or a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:18:46 I don't know, you guys, you're being difficult. I'm being difficult. Yep, I will have a Monte Carlo. Okay, biscuit. If you can get one of those pre-packaged salads, I'd love that too. Pre-packaged salad. Oh, can you give me one of those Starbucks lunch packs
Starting point is 00:19:02 with the egg in it? Right, so you're going to Popeyes, we want the pre-packaged egg, we want a pre-packaged salad and we want a Monte Carlo biscuit. No meat, no onion, no garlic and no banana, apple, pear, or high fructose fruits. Thank you, Sam. Yes, but I want that egg.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Who wants that egg? Yeah, I'll get that. I'll get a couple extra salt and pepper sachets to put on the to put on the egg. Sure thing. And Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Keep it in your pan. Yes, try it. Just try, mate. All right, now, here's this room for rent. Yes, it's for rent boys, but I don't need you to pay for the rent. I need to write me a script. A script for a new television. Okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Okay, okay. Okay, let me just talk with my associate Mark over here. Yeah. Alright, one second. One second. He's the best. Mark. Yeah, hey.
Starting point is 00:20:00 So you can't want any fruit? No, no, no. At the moment, I think it's a problem. I mean, who at 30 just develops a fructose allergy out of nowhere? So you can't even watch? No, no, at the moment I think it's a problem. I mean, who at 30 just develops a fructose allergy out of nowhere? I've eaten gunnyin', I've eaten gunnyin', I've eaten it all. And now all of a sudden, this make me really sick.
Starting point is 00:20:17 I don't know what's going on. All right. We've decided, we'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We want to do it. We want to write you your movie script because we want to put Alicia Cuffet back on the Hollywood map. Let me tell you the idea. It's the girl next door idea. No, you're also going to write my idea. You write it. I didn't realize you were you had let me talk to my sister. Yeah. Yeah. So is it just fruit toast or is it?
Starting point is 00:20:47 Well, I'm feeling the lactose test on Friday. Right. Is it just a syrup they give you? Yeah, it was just sort of like it tasted like it was like a big cup of warm water And it kind of tasted like gatorade, but if there was no if there was no like fruit flavor Yeah, and then there wasn't a bad taste. No, and it wasn't terrible. The lactose, I think they're just gonna give me a big cup of milk and say, oh no, I think that's what they're gonna do, or that somehow distilled lactose and they'll mix it with water and then I'll drink that
Starting point is 00:21:20 and I'm positive I'm gonna be sick afterwards, positive because I've never dealt with lactose. Then it's decided. Listen, sir, we've decided that because we're desperate actors, we've been in LA so long. We're going to write the girl next door too. But the best part is, I'm not going to work with the meal, Hirsch.
Starting point is 00:21:41 So one of you, boy, is got to be the romantic Lee. thank you oh no thank sorry we're turning I'm not taking roles from a meal her I'm not before you'll decide yeah no no it's just right just Google it before you decide to stand by me that's all good we don't need to talk about a Google it Not on a comedy podcast too many triggers Anyway I'm happy to take the role from a meal I'm happy to take the role from a meal. I'll take the role. He doesn't deserve the role
Starting point is 00:22:32 Hopefully he'll never I'll never work in Hollywood again. Well, I tell you boys We're going to come back. I'll get dw'd Griffiths Director there will be a single line of dialogue. What else is it? There won't be a single line of dialogue It'll be just like the beautiful silent films and television series. What are we writing? What are we writing? Descriptions, boy. The great palaces that I'll be in. Of course, the beautiful face.
Starting point is 00:22:52 They'll get a closer. Run me through the plot of one. Okay. So we know where to take off for two. Okay, the plot of one is a meal, herch plays a young teenage boy, living in a house, dissatisfied with, andatisfied with his life, with his high school education. When he's in with his education, he doesn't like the high school.
Starting point is 00:23:13 He doesn't like his high school. He thinks he deserves better, he should be in some sort of Ivy League. No, I just think he doesn't care for the bullies. The hot girls. Yeah, and then in moves next door. Me, an ex-pawn star. Oh, right, okay. And then you, you know, you suck him, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:23:32 We have sex. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Do you suck him? Do you suck him? That's how we say it. You move in, he's the who's this, you suck him. I suck him in a car. And does he suck you?
Starting point is 00:23:46 No, I don't know if he sucks me, it's the mid 2000s. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I suck him in a car, and then I tell you. And but let's, all right, so in the sequel, maybe he sucks, suck him in a car, suck. You gotta go and suck him in a car. But maybe he's sucking you in a car this time. That's how we open the picture.
Starting point is 00:24:04 We open the picture, but maybe he's sucking you in a car this time. That's how we open open the picture No dialogue with a meal herch Suck in a little bit. Well you know you will pay a meal herch I play a meal herch because he's rotten. He's rotten egg Yes, he is he is so I'm in the car is sucking Alicia Cuthbert And that's that's the opening of the film. And we'll play, imagine this, as you'll suck me. This year's love by David Gray plays on the piano.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Oh, is that the one from the first movie? Yes, as I suck, as I suck a mere lurch. This year's love by David Gray plays, and we realized it wasn't the boy's comedy we thought, but rather a music we thought but there is music film There is music you'll put on a CD all right, and so then I say to Alicia Cuthbert hey Thanks for the suck and that will just be a title card no need for talk talk talk Right right you know what I like about sequels what take
Starting point is 00:25:04 I'll tell you I'll tell you, sir. I'll tell you, sir. Yeah. Now, I love. I'm not a sir, I've just got a deep-acted voice. I keep flat and shit. I understand gentlemen, sir. Now, what I love about sequels is doing the same exact thing
Starting point is 00:25:20 is a guaranteed hit, Austin Powers sequels, hangover sequels. What else recently? All the other great silent films. They're not silent films, you've just got the TV on mute. Wow. Yeah, I think your TV's on mute. I don't know of this. All right, what do you think? You know that little on your remote? Yeah, you know that little button. Yeah. As a speaker on it and then across through it? Yeah, what do you think that does? That's the eye buttons.
Starting point is 00:25:53 So you can see the performance in my eyes. No, no, no, that's called mute. You made a huge error. Oh no. So, which is why your career is void? Well that's tight. The fact that Hollywood is still very void. Well that's a fail. The fact that Hollywood is still very Texas.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Yes, that as well. Yeah, tell me about this mule bottom. It makes no sense. It means there's no sound. Not a lot to tell, man. There's not a lot to tell. You idiot. This button prevents sound coming out of the show.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Watch this. Broden's gonna mute me. Hey! Ah. So what are you telling me? All these movies, all these television series they had sound, all along. Yeah. And when I would come to set and act with my eyes, they would get frustrated with me.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah. So what can I do? Look, can I just ask you? I know you want to write this picture for you. I'm finding 10 minutes into our business relationship. You're difficult to deal with. I'm a star. Yeah. How much is the rent finance money wise? I just want to know before I write girl next door too. It's two and a half thousand a month. Yes, quite high. Well, if you want, but if you want you're with split in it and sharing a bed and then we rent the other room out to old Pindix Sam.
Starting point is 00:27:12 I dropped maths in year nine, thanks to fuckhead Greg Tapplin, but is that your teachers? It was my math teacher, a very bad teacher. Anyway, I want to be a bad teacher. Well, were you just a difficult student? I was difficult, but I think the job of a teacher is to engage all students. So was his fault? Well, you were difficult. You don't know the whole story, Mark.
Starting point is 00:27:33 If you want to get into work, fine. I was a problem student with maths. I had a real struggle with it. And his response to that was not to engage me and say, you need to work harder. As a 14, 15 year old, he was to push me to the back of the room and never talk to me. And then fail me at the end of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Because I reckon if he engaged you, you would have been like, yes. Well, that's how I was. I can't even be like, ah. I love teachers. Well, the year previous. If we really want to get into it, I think you're being very unfair.
Starting point is 00:28:07 But the year previous, that is exactly what happened. I had a con, I went to, you know, used to go to all the maths things, the out of class things, I came on and stuff. A teacher called Mr. Lauder did exactly that, and I ended up passing that, and got to a point where I felt okay with maths, and then fell back because the teacher may know effort. That's fair. I just want to make that really clear. Greg Taplin is a monster.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Wherever you are, Greg Taplin, you are a monster. He's, I can promise you, he is not having a good life. Just please don't dox Greg Taplin. Don't dox. Just saying to your fans, not to dox Greg Taplin. Yeah, don't put your For skin or docks. Oh, sorry's for skin. No, don't shit. No into his asshole. You know that docking Don't doc great. Yeah, you'll remind me of the old days
Starting point is 00:29:02 The old days of Hollywood days. The old days of Hollywood. We're going to. Zach said you're a mommy of the old days and then just like just crossed the head. Shookies head. It was so upset with himself. Don't dox. Yes. It used to be me. We'd be doxing each other. We'd be docking each other in the Viperoom. All right, listen, Let's not talk. All right, who's the door? Dammitin. Oh, no. Oh, it's Bane. That is me Patrick Stewart.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Oh, I'm just a living next door. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. You see, I'm back in Hollywood for my cause. I'm playing lieutenant bookard again. You will start acting I believe Patrick Stewart is staying at this hotel. I'm absolutely shocked and I'm shocked How much exposition he came in and immediately said, Mr. We're rub my head. I'll tell you your future Seems Patrick Sir Patrick is becoming a deviant in his own way. You've got a couple sugar. I'd like it Patrick, you know, I don't have a cup of sugar, but I tell you I'd take a part in your Jean-Nougat series any day. Where are maybe I'll cast you in it who knows? I- Hey, I heard something about doing a suck before. Wait a minute. Doing a suck?
Starting point is 00:30:33 A writer? You need an actor. Patrick Stewart. I-I-I to Australia and give up on this show. I've only been here four hours, but I've had enough. I'm flying back to Melbourne. Oh no, you didn't. Bang, bang! I've been shot, unless she cussed me.
Starting point is 00:31:01 It's tried to kill me. Now let's eat his young soul and become what? With the young people again. I'm Patrick Stewart, Patrick, and this is Captain's log 1343. Ah, living in Hollywood, I came across a young Elizabeth Cuffbert, a strange man named Broden Kelly, who I decided to let rub my head until I did an orgasm on the floor near the stairs of my apartment block. Now who knows what had granted ventures await me in Pukard? The TV series coming soon to NBC.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Captain's log signing off. I won't improv anymore, I promise. You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week!

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