Aunty Donna Podcast - It's Rudderless Part 2: And Broden's Here Too

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

You loved Rudderless Part 1 (we think) so we’re doing it again. This time we're joined by the king of loosey goosey, fly by the seat of your pants, Broden “hates to plan anything” Kelly. It’s going to be so much fun. LINKS Listen to Rudderless Part 1 episode­ at  https://bit.ly/adp-rudderless-pt1 . Buy tickets to The Magical Dead Cat World Tour - https://bit.ly/auntydonna-worldtour . Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig . Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/ . CREDITS  Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno  Producer: James Blake Digital Producers: Nick Barrett and Jim CruseAudio Imager: Mitch Calladine Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper  Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh   Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com/ Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A list-snuff production. Kira, legends are welcome to a rattles episode of the Anti-Donna podcast. Brown is not gone, but this week he's trying to let loose and have fun. Will he succeed and let Mark and Zach run a mark? Remember, you can get access to bonus episodes and the video version of the podcast over at anti-donnaclub.com. You listen to the only proper podcast. The greatest fucking podcast in the world. Bro, I can take it sometimes and guess we hope you enjoy the part of the fucking podcast.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. It's the anti-donna podcast yet again, back for another episode where we talk nonsense come up with mischief maybe make a little magic. Can I be honest with you boys right now? I expect nothing less. I got no more magic. I got no more nonsense. Really? I've got nothing but serious. Broden? Broden is, Broden's lost and confused. Hey, are you calling Richard Linklater, because he looks a little dazed and confused. Why would I do that?

Because that's the name of one of the early words. Do you think Richard Linklater is dazed and confused? No, but it's just one of the early words. You actually have to be a really confident person to be able to direct a film like dazed and confused. You can't be dazed nor confused. You have to be assertive. You have to be assertive.

So, what, what, what, what, what, what? Zach, what is with that? You just went off the handle. Sorry, I'm just feeling so serious. I get that you were trying to do a joke, but I just couldn't go with it, you know? Wait a minute. If you were being serious, and he was being silly,

what would happen if you took serious and silly? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Took and silly? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? And you put them together?

That's what we were just doing. You'd get like a sketch sort of scenario, hopefully. Like I'm the straight guy. Is that what you're trying to sort of imply here? I'm trying to imply. I'm trying to imply nothing. That is what we were trying to do. Do you want us to do a little try something?

Yeah, yeah. Give us a scenario. Your silly, your serious. Yeah, but give us the scenario that we're being silly and serious about. You set it somewhere. You are a aid worker in Africa. To serious, to serious and for long. I'm not, I'm just like, like, like,

like a restaurant and there's a fly in my soup kind of situation. Okay, not that. Don't say that. Don't say that. Oh, I wanna. Don't say that. Just be creative.

Think of something. Give us something on the spot. Situation, Mark will be silly. I'll be serious and maybe it'll become a sketch. Oh, I wanna. No, yeah. Just be creative. Think of something. Think of something on the spot. Situation, Mark will be silly, I'll be serious, and maybe it'll become a sketch. Draw on your own. Bust up. Bust up. Song. There's a fly.

You've got to take away soup. No, no soup. Can't do soup. Can't do soup. That's leaning too hard on the example. Bust up's a great start. Bust up is a really good start. Bust up.

But what's happened? What am I being serious? You see the bus driver? Yep. Am I in the bus? No. I'm waiting for a bus. But you're the bus. That's interesting.

The bus driver. You're waiting for a bus. You're a bus driver. Yeah. You're waiting for a bus. Well, maybe we're about to switch. Well, no, well, I'll come up with that in the I'm a serious man. Well, that's what I am and we hoping what's the scenario? What's the scenario?

Do you do you want to try that give him a bit give him a bit? Why am I what am I being serious about? Am I worried that there's a bus driver here and not on the bus? You're Africa, bro. I don't have time for this bullshit. Come on, man. Well, he's being serious now. Can you say how serious he is being now? You're being serious, I'm being right now.

Is he doing serious? Is it better? Is he serious? No, there's not big. There's not big. I'm serious. I'm a, what you've come up with is a very, very interesting premise for me. I'm a bus driver.

I'm at a bus stop. I'm without a bus. I'm at a bus stop. I'm without a bus. I'm waiting for a bus. Now give something Zach as interesting as layered as deep as something that an actor can take and eat and nourish themselves with turning to their own. I'm a bus stop. He's the bus stop. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. I don't imagine I just need enough to be the straight guy to his silly guy. He's just another person. Just give him something he's just something just happened to him. And can I say, right now, I'm not confident

I'm gonna make a good straight guy because straight guys are actually good like, as in the serious person in a sketch. Yeah, I'm also not a good straight guy, but the serious person in a sketch. I don't know if I'm gonna do that very well because I think I'm too serious. Give him something.

Right, and you're the straight guy in a lot of our sketches. You still have an inherent understanding of silly. Just give me something. You're reading a book. You're right. That's an activity I'm doing. What's just happened to him? Something's just happened to him.

Why am I worried about him? What's my relationship to this man? Anything. It can be anything. Do I need to catch the bus? Yeah. And he's the driver of the bus. Why?

He's going to work. Okay. Right, that's beautiful. That's perfect. There are so many things there that Zach can take. I can use that. I can make his own. I feel the same.

I feel very confident. You've given me just enough to make it mine. Mm-hmm. But just little that it's not you didn't finish your sentence. I'm being silly. Okay. I'm serious. Alright. So you're directing, you're directing this. If at any point you need us to stop, say something again. What do that? Jump in. Maybe we should give you a character. Would you want to be in it?

If it gets to a place where it's going to escalate, you come in, you escalate it, okay? You can be like another silly character, but just improv, feel it out. Let us know when major events are happening in the world. Let us know if a sandstorm is coming. Let us know if the song's sandstorm is coming. Let us know if the song sandstorm is about to play. Let us know if a bus is on its way and it's made out of a sandstorm. Whatever it is, the world is your imagination.

I'm out. Do you seriously think that this sketch is going to escalate with a sandstorm? This is a sketch. This is a scene, a scenario in which comedy may come out of that has a punchline at the end. But do you, are you being silly when you talk about, you propose three different options,

all of them were sandstorm related. Nothing I've ever said has meant anything, and I want you to agree or disagree. Or not. Here we go. You call, I won't go into burn calls action. Action. You're the director into burn calls action. Action. You're the director and I respect that.

Action. Oh boy, it's called today. Excuse me. Sorry. Could you just keep it down? I'm on the phone to my dead mother. Sorry, excuse me what? I'm on the phone to my dead mother. There's a funeral

service happening. I'm a God-dem bus driver. Are you talking to your dead mother? Yes. What hell? My cousin is at the funeral? No, are you talking to your dead mother? Well, I'm not really. She's dead. I'm so sorry. It's an open casket. Yeah. So next time you tell a bus driver who's waiting for a bus, which I am by the way, I presume you've finished your shift. No. And this is a different bus home. No, no, no, no.

I'm waiting for the bus to come here so that that bus driver can get off. What? Standstorm. What? What? What are you talking about? Standstorm.

What are you doing? Standstorm? What are you doing sandstorm? You want to sandstorm the happen now then say that be like a narrator just fucking come in and a sandstorm Sweeps pass Sandstorm sweeps pass the bus stop just own it bro Have some come on have some fucking confidence man Have some come on have some fucking confidence man Go you fucking you step we're not doing the sandstorm unless you convince us to do the sand I refuse Yes, no sweet. Well, okay too much you got a pair of back a little You can't talk to your performers like that. We are you know, that is what is a director without

performers a madman yelling at no one What is a director without performers? A mad man yelling at no one. So don't disrespect me. I'm sorry, but I would presume that the director would not be performing the same tasks if they were not performing this. I'm waiting for a person. But when you say a director without an actor, he's a mad man yelling at no one. And it's like saying, what is a brick layer without bricks, a man standing in an empty plot of land performing the actions of like, what they are. No, no, that would probably be at home.

No, but they're at work. Maybe looking to work in the age of work now. But in my scenario, look man, my mom just died. Wow, man. One moment, I'm just died. All right. Whoa. Okay. Is this? I thought that was part of your scene. Are we? Do we leave the scene?

I didn't know. We can still be in the sandstorms. Oh, a sandstorm. Oh, my god. Oh, my goodness. Come, come, get shelter. I lived just across the road. Is that okay? Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Come in. I lived just across the road. Is that okay? Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much.

Come in. I'm just going to lock the door. Oh. That was odd. Hi, sorry. One second, I just got to go into the other room with the key. No worries. Oh, this isn't like a misery situation, is it?

No, no, no, and don't worry about the bars on all the windows. That's an aesthetic thing. I just, I feel like this might be a misery situation. Would you like this glass of wine that I pre-poured? That feels very misery to me. I don't know what that is. Oh, God, it's a hand store. Sorry. Lucky we're inside.

Well, yeah, but it's coming through the vents. I came into, well, then I'll leave because I came into this house, wait a second. You've locked the doors. I have. This is a misery situation. I don't know what that is. I haven't seen misery. Bruce will, uh, sit down.

Explain it. Oh, sure. Sit down on that chair. Are you a fan of my work? Uh, no. I'm a, I'm a, no. No. Okay. What are you, who are you? So misery is about a fan of he Bruce Willis plays sort of a Oh God the sandstorm. Oh, it's nasty sandstorm

Do you really need me to explain misery? Don't time out for once. Yeah Both in the scene and outside the scene. Yes. I need you to explain misery and also other things can happen. Yeah. I want to make that clear. So you could, you could have the song sandstorm play or a bus made of sand can come. You have two whole other options. And and and be clear about remember that we're inside. Remember Broden. What is a director without actors? I'm not in the scene. We are not in the scene. So you can bring the bus later. You hold that put that in your little spot. I feel like I'm doing all the direct things. I'm coming in.

I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in.

I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in.

I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm coming in. I'm not in the scene. So you can bring the bus later. You hold that put that in your little spot. I feel like I'm doing all the direct and you're the assistant director. Oh, sorry. There's a sandstorm. Oh my god. Jesus. Did you want to come inside? Yeah. Thank you. I get out of the lounge room. Yeah. The sandstorms in the lounge. Uh, you were telling me about how you're done. Fuck director thing work. No, no, no, no, no. I was explaining it.

I was explaining what I meant to someone who's so stupid they couldn't understand. No, I got it. Mother think you did. I got it. You were saying that a director? No. If they didn't have actors.

Incorrect. Would still come to a set. No. And even though there was a crew on that set, presumably this is a second unit where they're just getting footage of the locations. Instead of yelling at the crew, they would yell at no one. All of that was incorrect. Okay, then explain to me, Mr. Wise Guy.

Oh, you were suburban pizza restaurant. Because I'm being a Wise Guy. Is he being a Wise Guy? What? Yeah, would you like, would you like, would you like, suburban restaurants called Wise Guy? With that? Is it a big wise guy? What? Yeah, would you like win or win? Would you like win? It's a big one. It's called wise guys. With that?

I don't? Would you like some oven baked wings? No, but I will get a garlic bread. Well, I'm gonna take a nap. Can you explain to me the whole direction thing? As this is sandstorm in the bedroom. Sandstorm in the bedroom. Come through, come in the land room.

Ah. Ah. Look. Oh my goodness. Look at what he's in the land room. Yeah. Oh, look. Oh, my goodness. Look what he's in the Land Room. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I can't believe it. How did you know?

How did you know? Well, how did you know? How did you know that that was my favorite actor? Yeah, whose name is. And you should know that your favorite actor. Anyone just say anyone say any actor. Give him a name. Yeah, it's done. Well, that's not an actor.

Could be. Like, my favorite actor is John Luguzama, but I don't want to say that it feels cheap. Why? Because I do a side thing. That's a little side project about that. So, um, Pete Possil, right? All right. I don't know who that is.

Well, how did you get him? I asked him because he's my cousin. Oh, your cousin is a Pete Puzzle flight. Yeah, I am. That's why he's nice. No, no, no, Puzzle flight. Pete Puzzle flight. I loved you as the priest in Bezlumans Romeo and Juliet.

And in Jurassic Park three or 2, ask Pete. Pete? Brody, you've got to play Pete. Pete? You're going to play Pete Puzzle fight. You know Pete Puzzle fight? Play Pete Puzzle fight. No, Pete Puzzle fight.

Pete, play Pete Puzzle fight. Can you please play Pete Puzzle fight? Please play Pete Puzzle fight. You can Google. We'll give you the window to Google Pete Puzzle fight. Yeah, we'll keep talking about how we're going to clean up all this goddamn sand. The bus is here. Oh no, the bus is here and Pete Puzzle Throne is gone.

Yeah, so, too late, Broden. I need to switch shifts. The reason I was waiting at the bus stop, my big reveal was that I'm a bus driver and much like tram drivers, they get off at this stop. They go home, they'm a bus driver and much like tram drivers, they get off at this stop, they go home, they catch a bus home and then I swap, I get on and I start driving the bus.

And that's sort of my life and my daily routine and I've met many beautiful women doing it. I've made love to the majority of them. I've told, I have stories from here. Some people. Yes, and here's Pete. Poss, Pete, is Pete post that's very tasteless. He's dead. Go on Mark. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just a bit. It's really shocked by that choice. I think he's one of my favorite actors. You've got so you could do so much stuff.

Sandstorm could play. They could find Mary. Marguerite. That's just really tasteless that you would do so much stuff. Sandstorm could play. They could play Merry Monty's. It's just really tasteless that you would do that. You're a horrible. You know what's not tasteless is this serve of egg rolls that I have. Oh, there's a sandstorm. Hold on, I'm just gonna brush that away. It's gone.

Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh my God, it's rare. Rare is, what are you doing calling me? I want to talk chips. Oh God damn it. I ran out of chips a week ago. You know this you ate them all.

You came in here. You ate all my fucking chips. Yeah, you still owe me chips, mate. Yeah, I gave you all those chips to start your restaurant in 97 and you still owe me chips. Fine, fine. I'm gonna go to the store right now. I'm gonna see my friend Broden.

Who runs the chip store and whose dad has been making a chip factory, a successful chip factory in London for 12 years, I'm gonna get your chips and then I'm gonna come right over and you can freak off about it. Let me tell you, if I don't get my chips, if I get my chips, it's not gonna be in the caps this time, I'm coming for your family. Well, my all my family is dead. Uh, you're bro. What's this? What are you talking about?

Ryan. I'll have you chip. I'll have your chips by mid. I want to hold back a frozen chip. I'll have your whole bag of frozen chips by midnight. Okay. Okay. Oh, man. I got to get these frozen chips, but'll have your whole bag of frozen chips by midnight, okay? Okay. Oh man, I gotta get these frozen chips,

but all I'm gonna do is get high. Oh baby. That's good. All right, um. Come in. Well, hi, is this the chip store? Yeah, yeah, do you want me to get Broden? He's the master of chips.

And Broden, as far as I understand, Broden's the master of chips, and all he has to do when I ask him to buy some chips is say yes and give me the chips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, as is my understanding, he's a pretty easy job. Yeah, buddy, he's a bit stupid.

So easy. Well, let's find out. Broden, come here. We've got a pretty easy job. Yeah, buddy's a bit stupid. So easy. Well, let's find out. A brodan come here. We got us watching some videos of Brodan the getting idea of how Brodan acts. You watch a studying Brodan videos right now, Brodan? That's good, all right. All right, I'll bring him in now.

Brodan, turn off that video mate. All right, Mark, here comes Brodan. Sorry for knocking on the bench, by the way, I just, I've got to... Don't give a shit man, you're a customer. You think I'd give a shit if you'd knock it on the bench? You're gonna buy some chips. That's how I make my living.

You think I'm gonna jeopardize my chance to sell some chips? Cause to tell you off and knock it on my bench? Keep talking, I'm just gonna give you a one star review on Google. Can't, I'm letting you knock on the bench. It's too late, it's down, it's posted. That is outrageous, you're a bad man.

I mentioned that I was knocking on the bench. I mentioned in the review that I held myself in. And I give you permission. Broden, here comes Broden ready to sell you some chips. I should warn you, he's a big dumb fuck. Broden, to think I was like that, I would never like that Mark. Like the first time he's ever spoken in ten years. What really?

Oh my God, you brought something out in him. Here, I have the chips for free. Wow. I guess sometimes getting hired doesn't have it to benefit. Thanks, thanks. God, there's a sandstorm here and I need a break. So I'm going to listen to some ads. I have a kickcat. We'll see if we're sponsored by a kickcat by this point in time. Get the sales team on it. And we're back and I had a kickcat, whether or not it was

an ad for a kickcat before this is up to God. Mark has in the ad-breaking gavour, the back guy, the bag of chips. All debt is forgiven. Yes. And it's a new day. It's a new day. It's a new dawn. Who are you calling?

You calling Joe? So Joe, if you just knew to the podcast, is a friend of ours, not officially a part of Auntie Donner, although he was for a year or so, then we kicked him out because he was focusing on music. Well, he left us. Yeah, he left it. So it was, it was, it was, it was messy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we didn't handle it the best. But he tried and, yeah, but, you know, you would think that time heals all wounds. But now we're giving him a call on Facebook Messenger to ask him what his favorite flavor of chicken is. Chicken is, and while we wait to see whether Joe Ansys or not, let's go around and talk about everyone's favorite pastries. Zach. I've got to be a raspberry Danish. Broden. I come on, man, just your favorite pastries. You can't, how you this, how you this blocked up. What is this? Is this,

you can't be struggling this month. You know how to play. You know, you know, you know what a pastry is. Say anything. You just, you know how to do this you just say stuff man It's pizza pizza is not a pastry bro. It starts with the letter. P.I. Lord of accepted it. You've accepted the Patriots of my favorite pastry. Are you gonna say pizza? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I would accept that as favorite flatbread Ring ring ring. Hello. Oh, oh Yeah, oh Ring Ring. Hello. Hello. Oh. Oh. Oh. Hey. Hey, who's this? Oh, it's me. Hold on me. I'm going to put you on the phone to

Broden. Because Broden has some stuff to say about the way you've been treating him. I would never like that. Mark, I'm taking the phone back. You do like it. Don't worry about that. Sorry about my friend. My friend Broden forgot how to act and has looked up one video of himself acting of an old clip.

Yeah, you like to watch videos? Are you sexy? Are you seductive? I'm horny. Hmm. Aren't we all? You have a smoke weed? Me? Yeah. Yeah,? You have a smoke weed?

Me? Yeah. I'd like to smoke weed before six. Yeah. Well, I'm getting, I got nothing on today. I got nothing on today and I'm just gonna get high with my friend Chris. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello.

Hello. It's me, the queen of England. My friend Broden has something to say to you. I'm just saying it's the way you're doing it. I'm doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here.

I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here.

I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing it in here. I'm just doing holding the commonwealth together. Yeah. I know you don't know what to do. You've made that clear. I'm trying to set things up for you that are so easy. I know that this whispering thing is really a tad for the listener to hear. Tad for us to riff with. Stop thinking about as impro.

Start thinking of it as im bro. Oh God, that was so good. Yeah, I know. I'm a fucking motivational kind. And you know what that means. What? You've hit comedy Nirvana. Thank you. You ready to meet the Buddha?

Yes. Hey, what's up comedy Buddha? It's me the Buddha. What's up, Buddha? It's me the Buddha Where's up? No, not much. I Wicked I am trying to I was a Buddha shut up I was wondering if you could give me comedy powers because my friend Broding Kelly is Freezing up. We're doing a pop is he freezing up or are you asking him to move too fast? Look inward before you ask so much of your peers.

Our Buddha. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, God. Sorry, it felt like I was gone for an hour, but I was only gone for like a minute, yeah. Are you doing dungeons and dragons? I'm just doing that general idea that time, like contact?

You doing contact? Yeah, yeah. I love contact. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my favorite bit in contact. When she runs up to the mirror and then we're in the mirror. Yeah, that bit. It's good.

I like contact. I like where they kind of do in interstellar where they go down the water planet. I'm sorry. Are we talking about in Stella? Were we talking about contact? Ah, yes we were. You were. I was talking about contact.

You were broding. Don't stop checking out. Get involved. We said we're going to need a podcast. We said we're going to not come up with a premise for it. We was going to turn the mics on. Zach and I already did one of these. And I'll tell you right, and it was fun.

And I'll tell you right now. And it was fun. And I'll tell you right now, it's feeling very similar. Very similar. Very, very similar. Very similar, bro. Don't put these one back to back, James. Don't put these back to back. Don't put the one,

Zach and I did where we went in with nothing, back to back with this one. They're too similar. Which one goes first? The one we're talking about right now, has to go first. Yeah, it's be fucking insane to make this one go first Because now we're talking about one they haven't heard Oh my god

Brodin mark. Yes, I brought up contact because it's one of my favorite movie and Then you said you know my favorite part of you know what I was expecting contact But you changed the topic to yourself. I was talking about something before that. I was talking about, I was talking about, kind of, you were talking about. I was talking about Dungeons & Dragons. Someone got a general concept of time and then a film. In a film.

And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, we were talking about the general concept of time manipulation in a film contact. Which is, but it's also an interstellar. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's the most powerful. Shut the fuck up. If you don't have something to contribute

in a yes and kind of way, you will shut the fuck up. You listen to me. I was wrong. Interstellar very much fit in to the topic we were talking about, and it was root of me and incorrect of me. And for that, I unreservedly apologize. I don't accept the apology.

Broden, don't go, don't go, don't go. Broden, broden. Don't walk away. Broden. I'll let him go. Let him go. I don't care. Mark, yeah.

What would you do if you woke up one day and your whole, both your arms were just two big fingers? I would, I would immediately go to what? So, Bronan's outside now, is where the producer sits. And he's saying, and he's telling us about Sanstoon, we can't see him unless I turn around, which I refused. And I don't think there's any camera on him. So any, if you're watching this on Patreon, you can't see him. Let me describe what's happening.

Broden is standing behind the desk, wearing the producer's headset and saying sandstorm. Anyway, I'm gonna ignore that. Mark. Zach, you've woke it up. Instead of arms, I've got two big fingers. I've got big nails. Yeah.

First thing I do is I go get a, I go to a bloody manicure place and say, how much is this gonna set me back? Yeah. Cause that is gonna be something that I'm gonna need to get down regularly. And if the costs of that are too much, then I've gotta have a very serious think about

my nail and cuticle situation. Yeah. Zach, you wake up. Brad and come in. Come in. Brad and get in here. We're doing, we're going to do some hypotheticals. I'm going to do some hypotheticals.

I think you might actually have some very easy. Zach, you wake up one day. Yeah. Um, Brad and thanks so much for joining us. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. I'll wake up.

You wake up one day. You roll over in your bed. But it's not a bed. It's a series of hot dogs. Glueed together with mustard. Because in the world that you're in, mustard is glue. Is that you can't eat any mustard? I'll tell you what I would do. Because it's glue. I'll tell you what I would do. Because it's glue. I'll tell you what I would do. But glue is not mustard.

I would, yeah, this is normal. Because in this world, mustard is not mustard. No, it's a yesterday situation and you're one of the ones who didn't. Ah. Who are, who just don't know what that is. I would go, what the fuck?

No, you would, no, it's not. And then I would ask someone, I'd go, what's going on? And then I'd realize I was in a yesterday situation and then I'd just try to get to the bottom of it. I'd maybe talk to some scientists, some psychologists and see what I could do. Would you start playing Beatles songs? No, no, I'd do Google. I would Google bads hot dogs trying to get to the bottom of it.

Brodo, give us a hypothetical, my man. I would just say, we wake up one day and then just say something stupid. First thing comes here. It doesn't matter if it's funny or not. I wake up one day and it seems to me. So I wake up one day and there's a sandstorm. I go for cover. I'd probably get under the bed.

It depends how hard the sandstorm was. Yeah, I don't think I'd be. I'd get away from the windows really, because I don't know a lot about sandstorm, so I'd be a bit confused. Yeah, I'd pull the blinds down. Mark, you wake up. Yep. You wake up. And instead of eyes. All right. You've got cameras. And instead of a body, it's the

other bits of a camera. You're a camera. What do you do? I would probably film what I mean that I'd probably film. I'd probably probably get into the film you can't do that because you'd have to have someone press you You're on a shelf Your camera on a shelf, so I'm just a camera But you said my eyes were cameras. They're the lens of the camera. I misspoke your camera on a shelf Then you can't move you can't think you're an inanimate object. What do you do? Oh god do nothing? Yeah, anything or whatever camera man show up, uses you to take photos. Which kind of camera am I? I was imagining like a film camera, like a digital, like an Alexa or something.

Yeah, yeah. It's another kind of camera. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Is taking photos within Alexa. Yeah. Then this is an absurd world and I'll have no part of it. Well, you can't not have a part of it. Your camera. I would commit camera side.

a part of it, your camera. I would commit camera side. Broden, you walk into a camera shop and you see a camera and in your heart you know that camera is Mark. Unfortunately the camera cost $2,000 you've only got $1,800 in your account but you suspect that if you don't buy Mark and then get to the bottom of it, someone else might and he may never be turned back into human form. But across the road is a sign from a dark figure that says, put your balls in this jar of best foods mayonnaise for $200. So you put your balls in the best foods mayonnaise, you get the $200, you go to the shop and you buy the camera box.

Then you take him to a sort of a series of scientists and psychologists and eventually someone figures out what's going on, turns him back to Mark. The scientist that figures it out turns out to be the love of your life. They are the most beautiful person you've ever seen, but they're also really smart, okay? But unfortunately, they're already married, they have two kids. They leave their husband and they marry you, you grow old. It's at the age of 80, you're 80 and she's 78. To use age gap, it's not a big deal, because you're mad at 33.

Yeah. And she explains to you, or she reveals to you that she has a condition, it's not curable, it will probably kill her in the next six months. She dies. You're with her on her deathbed. And you continue, you move into a unit, your children help you move into a unit. They want you to move into an old people's home, but you feel you want the independence of the unit, so you move into something more

like a retirement building. Now these are your stepchildren, you've grown quite close to. You have a fall. You have a fault. And then your stepchildren come around and they say, look, we can't look after you, we insist you go to an old people's home, you go to the old people's home. The way they pay for it is by selling the house, the house that you've spent so much of your life in with this scientist love.

And it's hard, but you accept it. It's when you get to the old people's home that you realise that actually you this is quite nice for you. You know there's been a lot of reforms in the last 50 years. It's a pleasant old people's home. You make new friends, you might even get a few girlfriends. You know it comes to dinner time, maybe you're six the year at the old people's home, you're now well into your late 80s. You sit down and they serve you a bowl of teeth. You eat the teeth and then they say, because it's Sunday, you get a choice. Would you like jelly slice for dessert or apple crumble with custard?

You choose the apple crumble. You think it's delicious, you go to bed, you wake up the next day. And you've got a sick tummy because in this world, serving someone a bowl of teeth isn't normal. It's our world. Yeah, it's just our world. It's our world. You shit out the teeth only to realize that the enamel around the teeth were fake. These teeth are actually made entirely of gold. You rub off the shit and then the enamel and realize that you've got in your possession over a billion dollars worth of gold, which it's about 50 years from now, so I don't think that's about 700 million.

I think I don't know exactly what's gonna happen to inflation. That's still a lot of money. Billion dollars is still a huge astronomical amount of money. You decide to donate that money to charity, but first you have a conversation with the step children so that they understand there's no ill will there. You don't know which charity do you donate the money to? Is the question you asked before finally deciding on medicine some frontier? You donate the money to medicine

some frontier and they in your honour they actually set up a fund for the Broding Kelly fund. You die. You die peacefully, you sleep at the age of 95. Now the Broding Kelly fund, where they just keep the money in an account and just take the interest off that $1 billion account each year. So it continues to give and work saves hundreds of thousands, if not millions of lives over the next 50 years. But aliens invade. Okay, aliens invade the world, right? And they within, because of their strange planetary diseases and also their desire to strip the earth of its resources, within 25 years all humans are extinct, and of course all of the monetary and economic systems that they created. But life finds a way. A small, small, small cockroach species, a type of cockroach, eventually

evolves over hundreds, thousands of billions of years, eventually evolves to becoming the most intelligent species on a more intelligent than us. So there are three ages at this point. This is when they discover, there are three ages at this point. This is when they discover there are three ages at this point. There's the dinosaur age, the human age, and the cockroach age. Cockroach age. They don't call themselves that. They call themselves pedoodiums, pedoodiums, which is a very rough translation

because they actually don't, their main form of communication is not words. It's actually vibrations. That's how they evolve. They evolve to sort of talk through, which I guess is sound, but you actually have to connect to talk. After thousands of years, societies are set up and war breaks out.

Between two, which is funny because they're all from the same species of cockroach, but they create these divides of a very simplistic thing, like the area that the cockroaches developed, the size of a cockroaches wing span is considered to be scientific. Yes, there's a horrific time. It's a horrific time and it gets to a point where they have the the enemy that started the cockroach war because they don't like certain cockroaches trying to wipe them off the face of the planet. Through a war. Through a war. You have to understand that the land masses are completely changed.

It's changed, but there are similar areas. And so in what used to be Italy, they're now at the very crux of the war. And the Allied cockroaches have formed together and they have a choice to invade either the East or the West. They choose the West, obviously. They successfully pull off this. How do you think this ends?

How do you think we end this bit? Well, we're getting to a hypothetical way we're getting to our choice. Where you have to choose like to find it. Yeah, but how do you, because that can't communically happen? What do you mean?

What do you say? Well, the bit is that it keeps going. I've been asking for this level of engagement for 45. This is all we've won it. I finally get it. This is all we've won it since. Great. So they invade, they win the war.

But what you have to understand is that because of their form of communication, being like vibrations not through air, but through more solid objects, their communication is a lot slower than humans was at the equivalent kind of time. You know, this is similar to our 1930s. So it actually takes a good two weeks to reach the landmass that was once the eastern sort of Horn of Africa. That's now a separate landmass that's split off. And that there is a battle on that front.

And it takes a full two weeks where 4,000 cockroaches die in the battles of this landmass after the war has already been declared over. It's now 50 years later, there's a cockroach by the name of... And he is sitting at what you would call the equivalent of a bar. They don't drink alcohol, but they take a different drug based on their anatomy. But most things that they eat in consumer are taken from soil, actual soil. They don't grow anything out of the soil.

They eat and drink things made of earth. Of earth. So someone's at a bar and it kind of comes round. They order a glass of dirt. They're eating glass of dirt. It comes round in the conversation that 50 years prior this sort of like they were talking about the war and this cockroach thinks well you know actually this interesting fact about the two weeks of battle after the war is over could be interesting.

He decides to say it. His friend doesn't find it that interesting, but knows that it will offend him to not humour him and go, oh, you know, and go, oh, you're that friend. Do you humour him or do you tell him that that fact didn't interest you? Totally. 100%. No, that fact didn't interest me. You'd say that? Yeah.

But the problem is here in Cochroach Custom's a pun a an a fan of a lot of I do. So you do that knowing knowing that's all that you'll die and that there's actually more subtle ways because of those things. There's actually ways you can communicate that issue. You could go you could communicate that you weren't interested without being so direct and thus being punishable by that. Yeah. Even still. Yeah. Even though it's very, very easily avoidable, you could still do what you want to do.

You could just sort of custom, sort of belt up over. And you know these customs inherently. It's very easy to make that choice for you. You still choose to do it in the way that leads to. Yeah, because even though I am taking the role of a cockroach in the third movement of Earth, I still have the sentience and thoughts of a human in this situation. So I don't want to live in the world of this. It's too much for me, eating dirt, drinking dirt.

So I take that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Mark, I would have humided. I would have humided him as well. I probably would have humided him in such a way that he knew that I wasn't interested in

the fact, you know, using some of those subtle social cues that have developed in the cockroach people. That was a fun hypothetical. Yeah. I thank you for getting on board right at the end there, bro. I just need from future reference, I need, like the previous 300 whatever podcasts from now on. I need, from you guys, what I need, what are we doing? Who am I playing?

Where is it going? Will there be songs that I need to learn? None of this. You're implying that, I mean, we have done podcasts like this. I mean, sometimes we sort of have a bit more of a set up. But you're implying that there's like a script and like, there's a lot of that. Exactly what I'm implying. There's never been that.

Yeah, that doesn't do this. I mean, this is a little more loose. You know, this is a little more open. I was out. I had nothing to hold on to for this entire podcast. But we were throwing you, if you go back, listen to the podcast, watch a video. Are you a Patreon subscriber?

Absolutely. Yes. So you get the videos. You pay for the Patreon. Absolutely. I could give you the back, listen to the podcast, watch a video. Are you a Patreon subscriber? Absolutely. Yes. So you get the VPay for the Patreon. Absolutely. I could give you the password.

But that's fine. That's good. That's good for us. Yeah. Don't pay for the Patreon. No, I just use the like creator. Yeah. You know, I just look.

Are you paying for the Patreon? I you anytime I want to watch something, second, I jump on a discord call and he screenshairs with me. So just so I don't have to, so I can get around the page. That's kind of dark, man. I mean, you do, you say yes, I say, can you screen share and you say yes? I didn't know, I thought you were paying. Why would I pay? It's my, it's my Patreon.

Next podcast will write a script for us and it's to how long do you need? 30 to 40, or sometimes as long as 60.. No, the script like the episode how long do you need to learn your line? As same as always three days we get our scripts Monday morning. We record Wednesday. That's just not how I just don't think that's the process. I'm neither here nor there. I just don't think that's the process. I'm neither here nor there. I just, I feel like I've often improvised. I've given you that. Like that's a, I agree with both. I just, it's, I mean, there is a chance.

There is an infinitismally small chance that I have come into every podcast improvising and I have said exactly what has been written for me each time in such in such a way that Broden has been able to do a learnt script and everything that I've improvised has spotted in exactly. The chances of that are astronomically low. But there is a chance, and I have what it's a boy's faith. Faith in the multiverse. Because there probably is an improvised episode. Yeah, you don't call it improvised episode. Do you think there is a multiverse? Cool episode.

I would call it cooler. Do you think there's a multiverse where we did this and it turned out good? Yeah, yeah, yes, are we living in it right now? Yeah Maybe I thought we were gonna wrap this up after that a big hypothetical. Yeah, that felt like the right time to cut do we have we not filled enough time No, we have we yeah, I just I don't know why we still talk. Do you want to do a soprano's cut? A soprano's cut would be fun. I think we should end on a song. Could I get some classical

music and I'll just sing for the boys and rap? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Is that okay? Did you learn your lines for the song? We sent it through. Oh, absolutely. I know know it. Yeah, great Okay, music is ready. All right, we're ready hit it There was a sandstorm Brody

Stop the music either you fucking learn your lines or you don't mean you don't turn up and say you've learnt your lines If you haven't learnt them did you get the email did you not get the I just don't think it's worth singing if he doesn't have his part. Yeah lines are fucking what's the point of me learning my lines I can't mean after you. I'll read them quick. I read and quick And I will keep on miss it off. I come in after you. I'll read them quick, I'll read them quick. And I'll keep going, you miss it, I'll keep going. Just fill in for a minute. There was a sandstorm in the winter time. Cut it.

In the winter time, in the desert spring. All right. What, are you looking at the old draft? I can't come at us saying we can't do improvised podcasts. When A, you don't yes and B, you say that there's a group, a lack of script. And then when we send you the script. What's the yes and? Yeah, you just sort of take what the person is doing and sort of help them. No, no, that's not it. You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-episode

brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week. Lysna