Aunty Donna Podcast - Jack Dwayne from iHeart Radio

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

This new era of the pod needs a new producer, so we've gone and found the best possible candidate! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Grouse House podcast. And welcome to the Auntie Donna podcast, brought to you by... What's going to be this week? Chippies. You said Sam boys last. Yeah. Oh, maybe lime and chili flavored mission. Chippies.

Cotter chips. You're hearing the voice of our co-host, Mark Vornano. you'll know from the Michael Shanks series, Wizards of Oz. Shanks obviously went on to make the film together. Without me. Without you. Didn't put me in it. I could have played all the roles in that film.

You might hear music playing indiscriminately. We'll get to that later. We'll find out why that is. Our new co-host, because two weeks ago, our main host, Zach left an unsanctimonial. unceremonious terms. We held a vote

and he was declared not a professional funny man. Yeah. And so he's retired from the Auntie Dunner podcast. We tried Lucy last week. Lucy didn't love doing it.

No, we loved her. The audience loved her. Lucy said she had a nervous breakdown after doing it. It was just the pressure was too high and that's fair enough. It's a high pressure environment. Mark, your neck is hurting.

It's killing me but I've found a way to deal with it. It's just these new chairs they're just, I'm just trying to, I'm experimenting, I'm finding what works for me. And this is making my hips hurt the way I'm sitting now. Which put your legs over the leg. See, I don't want to do that because a couple weeks ago, I climbed Mount Kosciosco. I want to say climbed, you walk it.

And can I, can I, can I, I've been wanting to talk about this for weeks. Why? You know what I'm going to say? Yes, I do. And you don't need to. I think, I think, I, we were in a meeting. or working, riding or something. And this is a common household mistake. And Mark said to me, he said,

this Friday, I'm going, I'm climbing. This Friday, I'm climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. The tallest mountain in Africa. And I went, and I was like, I was, oh, yeah, yeah. And he's like, what? I'm serious. I said, he said, I'm serious. your climbing mountain Kilimanjara on Friday.

Yeah. What? And I said, what, where is it? And he was in Victoria, on the border of New South Wales in Victoria. Cousco? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's a common mistake. Is it? Well, they both start with K. They're both words for, Kosciosco, I believe, is a Polish word. So traditional. Polish music of course starts playing because...

Well, you'll hear that the music is... Yeah. We're trialling something. We got... Lucy broke down, so we switched her out for Tom. You're probably all familiar with. He's been a part of the Auntie Donner podcast for a very long time. Not very hairy legs.

No. Not particularly. What about your bod? No, not particularly. Shosh. That's up to you. That might make this X-rated. Yeah.

Not for TV. We see Tom's norks. Yeah. Because I'm very similar. I'd say we'd probably have a similar... No, you're hairier than him. You think? Yeah.

Well, the reason I don't want to put my legs up, by the way, is because I kind of wore the wrong shoes. Doing the... I was going to say fucking Kilimanjaro again. Because I'm fucking dip shit. And it fucked my feet up. I got blisters so bad on both my feet. shoes? Did you wear like a loafer?

I wore a sockless loafer. I wore Timberlands. Oh yeah. They should be fine. Yeah, they should have been. I wore thick socks, nice thick socks, and they just fucking tore through me. So this can be, let's, if anyone's going to climb Mount Kosiosko or Mount Kilimanjaro, what shoes do you recommend they wear? Like a, like a softer hiking sneaker.

Maybe not. Like a runners. Yeah, but like something, I guess a hiking shoe. Because this is a track all the way up. I mean, yeah, for Cosiosco, it's a smooth ride baby. Yeah. They got to set the baby mode, and that's what I like. Okay.

So, Tom, your hair, listen, why are you doing? I'm the new third host of the Auntie Dunner podcast. Trial. Trial. And that's that charisma that we love. We've got you on a trial period. Yeah. Which is what we should have put Lucy in because now we have to pay her out.

Yeah. Because we bought her out for years. Yeah, she fucking, we signed a lifelong contract with her. And then she's at now we have a, So don't be offended. We just can't do that again. Sure. I understand.

But what about Tom's role? Tom has a pivotal role in the podcast. His old role. His old role. His old role, you had a recommendation from someone who. Zach suggested this bloke. Zach suggested someone. Yeah.

Was he drinking margaritas in the sun on some private island? No, he was just sitting in the corner of the room. After the last podcast, he said I've got an idea for a producer. Well, that's one way to spend retirement. Well, I'll say so far this producer has been playing songs indiscriminately, weird choices. So I'm keen to get down to who they are. I don't even know their name. I ever do I.

I didn't ask. They look like Zach with a, I won't say that. They'll look like Zach with a wig on and a hat. I can't see. Yeah, because of your neck. Yes. Well, let's introduce them. Let's do it.

Hi, who are you? Hi, how are you going? Good, thank you. Hey, guys. How are you? Pleasure to be here. What's your name? My name is Jack.

Hey, Jack. What's up, Jack? Good to see you guys. Thanks so much again for the opportunity. You got a last name there, Jack? Yeah. Dwayne. Jack Dwayne.

Jack Dwayne. Jack Dwayne. Pleasure to be here, boys. Obviously, I got let go, got let go from IHeart Radio a few weeks ago. And so what are you, a radio producer? Yeah, I was doing breakfast radio. I was doing there. I was heading up their podcast division.

But it's good to be here. Why were you let go? It's a hard space over there. They just got bought by a pub man. Pub man. Yeah, they just got bought. You know, there's just a lot of changes in that media. landscape and exciting opportunity here, guys. Love podcasts.

All right. I'm doing the commute. I'm doing the commute from the south side. Yeah. You live up in St Kilda Way? No, I live, I did live in St Kilda for a little bit. So that is up San Kilda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not anymore. Now I live in Windsor. Also up St. Kildaway. Your Chapel Street, yeah.

Just next to St Kilda. It's great there. Yeah, because that's St Kilda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But pleasure to be here. Peran, St Kilda. Yeah, I love that area. I grew up there.

Went to Skeves. Have you ever seen this sketch by Auntie Duhner called DJ Sweet Love? Yeah, I love your stuff, guys. I love it. Thank you. Love your stuff. What do you love in particular? Love all of your stuff.

So you guys are so funny. Love Pood. Love the Netflix show. I love this podcast. Such a honor to be here, guys. Yeah, sick. Where are you from again, Windsor? I live in Windsor now, yeah.

Went to, I lived, I lived, I grew, I lived in St Kilda for a little bit. Did a short spelling Carlton. And then, but obviously I grew up a little further out, grew up in Turac and went to Skebs. I'm a Skev's old boy. Yeah, right. What's Skebs? St. Kevin's. Right.

that's our all-boys school down down south of the river yeah same place uh i was actually one year below um jacob a laurty lordy yeah yeah right well i don't know who that is ah he's a mate old mate you know jacob alorty no you will soon i'll tell you that why you will know him in about three weeks was he in the upstein files ha i don't know I can't fucking laugh at me No, that was a good joke I wasn't joking

I apologize I reckon in three weeks I don't know how to mark this Jack Dwayne from Skebs Yeah don't worry I'm on it We will We will Yep

I want to mark that in three weeks from now Yeah recording You will know who Jacob Alorty is Okay When we recorded this Yeah

Got that down That's good Professionalism From the commercial radio world Jack Dway Don't worry I got it mate I got that for you. That's great.

All right. Do you see that kind of hustle that comes from the commercial radio world? I know, it's true professionalism. Oh, mate, I learned it at Skebs. You know, they really taught us a lot. You love football, yeah, Broden? Yeah. Yeah, love football too.

I did his research. Yes. Who do you like? Me? You know, die hard Melbourne fan. So is Broden. Amazing, I didn't know that. Yeah, no, he would go for Melbourne.

And I love gaming as well and the game world as well. I love games. Wow, that's amazing, Mark. What's your favorite game? Have to grab a beer pick your brain about that. What's your favorite game? What's your favorite game? Love all games.

But I have to say, mate, you know, I'm an old school guy. Final Fantasy 7 still has a part of my heart, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. Sakeroth. Sure thing, mate. Until ad break.

Ad break, that's a great question, bro. Let me check on that for you now. So obviously right now is a great time for an ad break. So that's a great call there. All right, we'll go to an ad break. Awesome. Are we back? Yep.

Yep. So, new host, new producer, new set. Anything you guys need? Dude, I'm in the middle of talking. Anything you need. I can do tunes. Jack Duane. Tom taught me about.

about the tunes. I can do sound effects, stuff like that. So loud. Anything you need, bro. Jack, Dwayne, one thing I need is just when we're in the middle of something, like a sentence. Don't talk? Yeah.

Got it. No talking during sentences. Dude. You're so often that one. Dude. Yeah. I don't know what it's like. Love to pick your brain about gaming, that sort of thing.

What, like, what do you mean by that pick my brain about gaming? I love to get a beer. This is a great pub. Great pub on Chapel Street. I don't drink beers and I'm not going on the fucking south side. No worries. I don't really like beer either, man. What do you drink?

What do you drink? What do you drink? You know, I'll have a beer from time to time, but I'm like, you know, Jack is trying his best to be your friend, Mark, and you're sitting here, not even sitting up. It's true. You're laying down horizontally. Yeah. And looking at the roof.

Only sometimes. times. You're not even, it's like you don't even care. I haven't seen my jack looks like. I'm going to be completely honest. Because of the way I'm sitting. So laying down on a couch.

Because my neck. These chairs were made for aesthetic purposes, not for a small man with a rough neck, a rough go of his neck. And I apologize for that. No, it's not your fault. I think it's Ella's fault. Yeah.

Now, but that's all right. We'll work through it. It was the right choice. I would have made the choice of these chairs. How were we to know? It's slowly killing you. Do you need anything, man? Do you need another pillow or anything?

Yeah, all right. You'd love another cushion. No worries, I'll get on that. Thanks, ma'am. Can you get me another cushion? Thanks. You just got losing to do it. Getting that cushion for you, mate.

Don't worry about it. I didn't even want another cushion. I wanted him to leave for a little bit. just so I could speak freely without being interrupted well he's still here I miss the broad church of Menzies what

he missed I don't know what that means he missed the broad church of Menzies Menzies he had a broad church yeah right the right the liberal fact that I hate him now

I hate him now I've voted for teals I voted for the teal what do well what do we do one thing we have to do is figure out what this podcast is

without Zach, with Tom and with Jack. All right. What is the dynamic here? You're about to be introduced to Jack, to Jack Ryan. Jack Dwayne. Jack Dwayne, he's coming. He's bringing you two cushions. Here you go, man.

Here's a couple of pillows for you, brother. Thanks, man. Thank you. And, uh, cheers. I still owe you that beer, man. Well, we don't have to, we don't have to get a beer. We can just talk after work while I'm getting changed. that's nice

thank you jack now lucy called you a princess last episode she said i'm getting the princess treatment very different that means that means i'm deserving of of a treatment of a certain type of treatment no it doesn't it means that you're getting the treatment of a princess whether you earned that or not it's completely separate well would you treat a princess like a mule

or would you treat a mule like a princess if they weren't no if i love the mule If you loved your mule You would treat that mule as a princess I treat my dog like a princess You'd take it to the ball I give my dog a ball No but you would you take them to the ball A mule

Or your dog A dog I would take to a dog ball You'd dress it up Jack what are you doing Just trying to add some tunes I know that's part of my role So I thought I'd add some tunes Just to...

Usually we ask for them Jack I'm gonna be honest boys I don't know if this commercial radio Private School Boy is the right fit for our podcast. Tom? You've been obscenely quiet. I'm just waiting to be thrown to. Oh, Jesus.

What's that sting even? Play that again? I don't like that. No worries, I won't play it again. I'll strike that. I'll make a note. Play it again, though, one more time. Sure, you want me to play it again?

That's a different one. Sorry, hit the wrong button there. I don't like it. But I need to hear it again. All right, now that I like. That I like. Play them. next to each other.

Not on top of each other. Sure. Next to each other. They're exactly the same tempo and rhythm and everything. Nice. How do you guys feel about that? I'd like it to stop. No worries.

That sounded like a computer booting up. Can you play the one that I said not to play again again? I don't know why that's so funny Do you like me to play it again? No Yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll let you guys sort it out And then I'll jump on board

With whatever you guys decide together Thank you Jack Dwayne Now listen To me I'm trying to miss the pillows I'm in pain broodin All right Join this podcast

I go for another 500 episodes I don't But if But I know I'm contractually obligated To probably make it go for that And so if this is the set, and this is all it is, and I'm dying, then that's so inappropriate. That was not the right time, Jack. You had it right.

I was play, see, we were riffing. Yeah, man. If I could look into your eyes right now, I'd be shooting you the dirtiest of looks. No worries. But I can't because I'm injured. No worries about that. I'll make sure I fix that in future. Just click in.

Click into the All right. Fresh start. Yes. I like that. Because what our job is now, and I tried to say this before, is that me,

Broden, Tom. We have... Sorry, I thought you requested a piece of you. I was trying to make it work, Jack. Give me two seconds. No worries, ma'am. He's resilient. You've been yelling at him.

He's still on board. He doesn't care. Just so you know, man, this piece of music is called Fresh Start. If you're not careful, we're going to try and figure out whether you're a professional funny man with a ranking system and if you lose, you will have to retire from this podcast forever.

Is that what you want, Jack Dwayne? Is that a challenge, mate? Yes, it is a challenge. I accept. Oh, great. Next podcast, you're on. Next podcast. I don't want you to stay around Jack Daniel.

No, well, we get to vote. Next podcast will be the trial. of whether Jack Dwayne is a professional funny man. Can we get it in this episode? No, no. We're still, this podcast, we're trying to figure out the dynamic and how to make this work.

All right? Next podcast, we'll figure out if he's a professional funny man. Oh, God. And whether or not he has to retire. So he comes, you know, this is the last one we're recording today, yeah? Yeah.

What about? What of it? And next one's our 500. Oh, no. The 500th episode is the trial of Jack Duane. I think that's, The life and trial of Jack Dway. It's an incredible way to celebrate 500 episodes.

It's do it somewhere funny. Now, get serious. It's going to be tense. Now, seriously. So on the old podcast, I would say Zach was the goofball. Tom was the, what, the voice of a generation in some ways. No? Is that off?

Didn't talk much. How would you describe? Well, yeah, but the generation of the 1920s. should be seen, not heard. What? Well, children, that generation should be seen, not heard. Tom was a voice of that generation. It's why he didn't say much.

It's a good fucking bit. I need you to acknowledge it. All right, that's good. I acknowledge it. Great. That's all I ask. Jack, you've gone a bit heavy on the music. Guys, I want to apologize.

Can you pull back? Oh, hang on, it's an emotional turn. I want to apologize. I've maybe come in a little too hard. I understand that you guys have maybe a different approach to what I'm used to, but I want to learn from you. I want to understand your approach so I can better deliver in future. Big part of learning is listening.

No worries, mate. I will listen to everything you have to say. And I can't wait to embrace the challenge next week of professional funny man. Does he remind you a Zach? Yeah. This feels like something Zach would do. is Zach? Last episode, Zach was in the corner of the room just yelling out shit.

Yeah. Off mic. Off mic? Yeah. Zach's no longer here. Lucy's back to working. And now there's a man that... Jack Dwayne.

Jack Dwayne. In charge of the desk playing... Too many stings. And the wrong music at the wrong times. What is he? What is he? Macaulay Culkin in My Girl? Did you get stung by too many bees?

Yeah. Did you get stung by too many bees, Jack? Never been stung by a bee, mate? No. Although when I did do, I was, for a short time, I did try for the police. Yeah. I did train for the police.

And I did actually experience the, those electric tasers. It wasn't really trying for the police. Marty Sheargold had me do it. He said he made me do it when I was his producer. He made me... Go to the academy. He shot a taser at me for entertainment.

Well, that's not going to become a police officer at all. No. I like that. I love that sting. But what does it mean? What's the meaning behind it? What's the meaning behind that? But behind that sting, like, when is it played?

All right, let's do that. Let's go around. Let's play that sting. And then I want... So that was an interruption. Yeah. I want to hear it again. Not yet.

In a moment. Thank God he didn't become a fucking police officer. You're so trigger happy. I want your immediate thoughts after hearing it, all right? So play it now. Cunt. You're a cunt. Jack.

Sorry, man. Right on it. I think 90s computer company. What do you think, Tom? I think like, Combank finance update or something. Oh, yeah. Finance update on the news or something.

I need to hear it again. I just pisses me off. I'm going to help. Play it three times in a row back to back. Diarria. What's the word? I probably say computer. I probably say computer.

I don't know. Oh, ow. And what do you think, Jack Handy? What's that sorry, man? What's, you think when you hear that sting? Yeah, no, totally. I love that, that computer sort of, uh, what you guys are talking about. You're very agreeable.

Well, you know, I'm very agreeable. I'm very conscious of the thing. You feel like the identity's been crushed out of you by private school, toxic masculinity and commercial radio hosts. That's what it feels like. Huh? I know Van's Joy. Oh, that has nothing to do with what I just said.

No worries, man. I know you probably know Van's Joy and Jacob Allotti and other tall, handsome men. Hey, man, I'm actually really hearing that feedback. That's great feedback I'm hearing from you. Nothing to this man. It's the shell of a man. Genuinely, I'm hearing. He's a shell of the South.

That I'm not delivering. And his personal identity has been crushed from him by the private school male academies. And I'd love to just grab a beer or a coffee with you sometime. Bullied into being as mediocre as possible. Get some tips from you about how I might... He's not eight foot and handsome enough to act opposite Margot Robbie or write riptide. He's one step away from the status quo and you would have been bullied to a fucking nine inches of his life. I only got a 97 and I'm ashamed of that.

But doesn't know what any of that means. Yeah, yeah. Didn't learn anything. Just learnt the system. Just learn how to use the system to his advantage. He'll say something like, oh, actually, yeah, it's funny what you said about women. And you go, what are you talking about? And they go, oh, nothing.

And then he'll sort of like mentally have blocked you off from that kind of secret world of private school chat. Yeah, mate. I just got to say, if I am a shell of a guy, would love to pick your brain about ways I could be less of a shell of a man. Yep. Thank you for that. No worries, man.

Happy to help. And how long has this episode gone for? That's a great question. I'll check on that now for you, man. Anytime. So it's been going for 24 minutes, 40 seconds. Sorry, there was a bit of a delay there. I'll make sure to be quicker on it in future.

No worries. Well, that's perfect timing. I own my apartment. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Yeah. Did you pay for it? What do you mean by that exactly? Did you put down the deposit with cash that you saved?

I saved. I did save. That doesn't answer my question. I did save, yeah. Yeah, right. Me and my missus, we're not married yet. She would love it. She would love to get married.

Oh, tell us about your missus. We didn't know you were in a relationship. She's beautiful, mate. went to MLC. Nice. What's that? Methodist Ladies College. And she's beautiful.

She's... What does she do? What does she do? She works in marketing. Nice. At a company. Boring. Sports pet.

She works at sports pet. Oh, great. Yeah. And she's great. Gets me, gets tickets to the horses. I know. I don't love the whole fact

they shoot them and stuff. I always feel weird about it. But you love them to dress up. Yeah, it's great to dress up and everything. So we go to the horses. and that's a lot of fun. Put a couple of puns on? Yeah, put a couple of puns on, mate.

Yeah, yeah. But I know probably here reading the room. I don't love that they shoot them though, so, oh, I'm a bit uneasy about that. You know how to read the room. Yeah, I love football. I love horses. I love gaming, music as well, man. Gotta pick your brain about music and stuff.

Sure. Yeah, love that. Well, what in particular? What's that, mate? What questions would you ask Tom in particular about music? Just, I mean, I did a little bit of music. I played the piano at a level that was unfathomably good. Can you play as something you've written?

I couldn't do it now. I haven't played the piano in like 10 years. I dropped it as soon as I finished high school. Okay. You don't have any little ditties that you wrote? No, I didn't write anything. Yeah, right. Didn't write anything.

Just got at an incredible level and then never considered it as a career. Same with sport. So I am at the peak of everything. Yeah. But I just didn't do anything with it. Well, that's been a great episode. Time to... Broden's playing something on his computer now.

Oh, sorry, mate. Didn't realize. Oh, God. It's been another great episode. Time to recap. Another great show, Mark. We had so much fun. Not yet.

Come on. I think we used to. do that as a bit. Did we? I think so. Every time. But we're so glad to be bringing this bit back. Here we go.

We tried a different host on the Auntie Donner podcast because we had Lucy on and made her have a breakdown. Tom was the host and we had Jack Dwayne who was from. I heart radio and he's insane. Yeah. I don't like this karaoke version. Why do I have to? Keep doing it, Broden.

You wanted to do this bit. You should do your part. Then we had this man who kept playing music at inappropriate sections of the podcast. We didn't start the fire. It was always learning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we did it lighter, but we tried to fight it. Let Tom do your bit.

Come on how you do it now. Tell us all about how. you had an episode. Zach got paid for the show and he said that's no go. Then Lucy came on and we had a guest. His name was Jack Daniel and he did the Spaniel and he

pressed the buttons and he's from a private school and it's Zach examining what it's like to be from a private school and how that infects your brain and it's out the fire it was always burning since the world's been termed We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it But we tried to fight it I'd love to throw my hat in the ring To be, maybe have a go With being the host next week Co-host with you guys I'd really love that opportunity I feel I've delivered here

And at the very least I deserve a pay rise So I'd love that opportunity No you will not next week You're on trial to see If you're a professional funny man We have a whole system planned out with four different categories and you will be put to a judge.

We didn't start the fire. It was always murdered since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we didn't like it, but we tried to fight it. You don't pass the test then. You will have to retire from the podcast forever. Please don't fuck it up. But if you pass it, then you will be a permanent member of the podcast forever.

Because we need a new host. Now that Zags got. There's a fuck. We didn't start the fire. It was the one. Jackson Long. It's the world's determining. We didn't start the fire.

No, we didn't light it, but we ch-you-er-about-it. Don coughed, Andy coughed. Tom is coughing again because he doesn't. know how to podcast. Yeah. You have to get in Matchfit. Get podcast and do a shit. Then you can meet to Jack. Lucy Mark and have a track. Yeah, no, absolutely, man. Great point. Do it to the song. What's that? Do it to the song. Great point. Burden. Very good point. Uh, love that. And I'd love to throw my hat in the ring. I can't take it anymore. We didn't start the fire. That was good, Jack. It was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire.

No, we didn't light it God we still go on and on We didn't start the fire No, we didn't. There's a key change somewhere. We didn't start the fire Come on It was always burning

Since the world's been turning We didn't start the fire Uh-oh It was always burning Since the world's been turning We didn't start the fire No we didn't No, we didn't learn it, but we tried to fire.

We didn't saw the fire. Beautiful. No, we didn't learn it, so we tried it been turning. Auntie Donna. You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another Ripper episode brought to you by Auntie Donner Club.com. See you next week. Welcome to the future.