Aunty Donna Podcast - LIVE @ The Basement Theatre Auckland FEAT. Melanie Bracewell & Nazeem Hussain PART 2

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Get around Nazeem:Twitter: @ Nazeem_hussainInsty: @ nazeemhussainFB: facebook.com/nazeem.m.hussainGet around Melanie:Twitter: @ meladoodleInsty: @ melaniebracewellFB: facebook.com/meladoodlesSee us Li...ve:auntydonna.com/showsSupport us on patreon:patreon.com/auntydonnaJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 A list-nuff production. Thanks for coming back everyone. Thanks for coming back. Tom, that's gonna be fine, isn't it? You can edit around that. What a big week. It's been in football How about that last week. What did you get up to Mel? Gosh, it was a dark time my parents got divorced That's what you listen to last week's podcast if you don't understand that Yeah, that's a call back to something that happened a week ago. Sorry Mark I can't believe your parents fell back in love again. I know I say back together I never want to see those two in the same room again ever ever again What if it was you feel like you Mark I'll give you a million dollars
Starting point is 00:01:06 But you have to see your mom and dad in the same room again. I'll tell you what this is this is not funny Oh good Good that's in line with that We're now for lunch with my dad about a year after they broke up. Is this something you're going to ask to be cut in a week? Definitely not. They don't listen to this shit. Neither of them understand the internet. And it ends up the back with a beer.
Starting point is 00:01:32 They don't know that this exists. And even if it's blatant New Zealand. And even if it's blatant to them what podcasts are, they would not be able to comprehend it. They're not stupid, they just don't care. Not about me, they're very lovely, but anyway, I was talking to my dad and was sitting across from each other and he was telling me that the divorce was really bitter and really long and really full on and he looked me in the eyes and he said, that woman destroyed my fucking soul. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:02:04 Andy, no! destroyed my fucking soul. Whoa. And did one night. So we just cut some personal stuff from Mark. That's why we're coming back. The most brutal thing I've ever had someone say to me. And I was like, Is either telling the truth or he's lying. What do you think? Oh, he's telling the truth.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I was there. I saw it all happen. This person you call your mom said she never loved your dad and your dad said that he destroyed her soul Is your mom the devil? No, no, she's lovely. She's a she's fine She's a I love my mom so much or pick a side way this is the issues there, but um My mom is actually my mom is actually the devil not Joe Rewane Joe and Stan adopted me, but the devil, not Joe Rewain. Joe and Stan adopted me. But the devil was 17 at the time, got a little bit drunk, got pregnant,
Starting point is 00:02:50 and had me, wasn't quite ready to raise a child. And my parents adopted me, but my mum is the devil, my birth mum. Oh, you birth mum. Yeah, it's the same. Well, my mum is a sweet Sicilian woman who just wants to live her, what's very funny is that my dad's name is Charlie and he is a butcher.
Starting point is 00:03:10 That's funny. That is funny. But now she's found someone new, she's with a new partner. His name is Charlie and he is a butcher. No. That's so funny. That's so funny because my new partner's name is Charlie. Charlie. And he is a butcher. No, it's so funny because my new partner's name is Charlie and he is a butcher. Are you dating your father? I just couldn't put on the time to tell you.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Go on, give Mark another step brother. Let's finish this story. So last week, we were talking about how I went into the space with NASA. No, so last week we were talking about how I got interviewed by the Australian Security Intelligence Organization, otherwise known as AeSIO, and I was on my way to go meet them. I'd let, so I'd finished work six o'clock, so the guy hung up the phone and he said, I'll meet you, I will call you when you're done
Starting point is 00:04:05 I so I'm not a time to finish you know I don't have the corporate world works and more I pretend to work the more I get paid, you know Anyway, he hung up six o'clock calls me up as I leave the building. He said turn right at the river So I turn right at the yard. I said you didn't know you were going to blue train I don't know. I just left work and then he called me up when I left work Oh, you know, I'll stress down and so so then he said, he directed me, he said, go to blue train, go to the escalators at the bottom of the South gate.
Starting point is 00:04:28 That's like my old- Orpheus at the start of Maytion. I was just about to say. It's kind of like enemy of the state. Has anyone seen that movie? Scott, we've talked about that last week. Was that last week? Yeah, last week.
Starting point is 00:04:40 Sorry, my memory's a bit hazy. It was a week ago, you know. Hey guys. What's happened with the divorce and... Hey, I think we're full of error. I think we have. I think we didn't record this in one city. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Mark even was convinced. We're even triglyl Mark. Oh, Mark, I'm sorry. Hey, what are you guys talking about? Nothing, man. We're just hanging out at the big seat with all the guests. Cool, it's really good to be here a week later. Alright, hey, Mark's a fool, he's got a real bad.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Wonder if they have a fix that light since we've... No, no, no. I really should look into that. Yeah. For context last week, the light was broken. It's still broken this week. No, really. It was just a corner of the water.
Starting point is 00:05:30 The same. They're following you around. It's like anything. It's really water. I don't know why, folks. I'll tell you. It's a real quick story. It's a story.
Starting point is 00:05:38 So I walked to Southgate, go to the top of the escalators, and then there's two guys there, and then they meet me and the lugo. Let's get back. Can I ask how they dress? What do they look like? Well, they're wearing, okay, when I'm got to the top, there were only two people there and one guy, like one guy went into the bathroom and they didn't know his presence. Before you say, there's two images I have in my head. One is like fit guys in their early 30s in suits. The other I've kind of got like a fat 50-year-old man
Starting point is 00:06:04 in a Hawaiian top. No, both are correct. They're both kind of like nerdy Like nerdy kind of standard dudes dressed in like their civilian clothes Just trying to look normal, you know, but they can tell it was a You know how people when they're uncomfortable in suits It looks like you know that I wear suits normally. Yeah, these guys look like they don't normally wear jeans and t-shirts. So they're all really... Just trying to blend in. They're putting their civilian hairstyles on and a bit of gel. Anyway, one of them went to the bathroom. How good is gel? No one uses gel anymore. It's bloody normal. But gel was good because it was all shiny and...
Starting point is 00:06:43 When you get to school in year seven and you want to impress that hot hot Ha, babe then you could just put a little bit of gel in here and they go how there's a cool dude Yeah, it's a here's a boy. He's a boy. He doesn't he doesn't have a fringe He has a little spiky bit at the front Tell you what if you've got a big forehead I don't know 12 years old you should not do the spiky 2001 haircut. Are you being passive aggressive at me? No, you're not.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I've got a massive forehead, and I've got spiky. No, you don't. I have a massive forehead, and I use to do the... No, check out this. Check out this winner's pick. Oh, no, that's fine. That's fine. What is it?
Starting point is 00:07:19 If you want to Google the ZeeM who say, we don't speak now, forehead, just do that. You've got a find Farad. I think everyone on this couch has a good Farad. I thought that right from the beginning, actually. You said that. You said, well, we're in forehead land. I did.
Starting point is 00:07:38 I certainly did. That is a quote. Those are the two sort of like unofficial taglines of this podcast. One is this is not entertainment and two, the fine, forrid friends. That's the triple if. Yeah. Probably the bigger you four here, the smarter you are, apparently. Oh yeah, I've heard that.
Starting point is 00:07:59 No, that's true. That's not true. You know what they say, the bigger the for the forehead the more you get bullied in grade eight How do they believe you're boy? Oh, they call me Frankenstein Why did they call you that because I've got a big forehead? Did it hurt? Did it hurt? So I say broken people become comedy people like marks got the divorced thing on on I've got a big heart. It's just that. That's just the surface of my issues. Yeah, they say they say broken people become comedy people they say Broding people.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Eeeey! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. Just enough to push you into a career of comedy. Yes, absolutely. Tall girls I remember had a lot of like middle-aged people walking up and saying, you should come play for my basketball team, you know, like my basketball club. Did that happen a lot to you? Yes, all right, the supermarket. Oh, bloody, I'll get you to get the bloody, came sugar at the top. That's what'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:09:49 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm off the record and we had a lengthy conversation. That's
Starting point is 00:10:07 a very scary. What is that? You don't ask town. You don't ask town if it sounds like the joke is she killed someone. All right. I'm sorry. How are you broken, bro? I'm pretty, I'm really smart and I'm really, I'm really level-headed. No. Did you say no? No, no, I'm just generally broken. I got like... If you're not broken, that means you're too be broken.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah, no, I'm pretty broken, like a perpetual anxiety problems and things like that. I don't think you're broken yet. So we're here talking about, yeah, that's nothing. You're whipped. No, everyone's either free. You're post-broken mate. You're on the way. You're big break is coming.
Starting point is 00:10:58 You think I'm yet to be broken? Anyway, just you wait. I've seen you in the hotel lobby. I know which room you walk into every day. Pfft. Oh, that sounds like I'm gonna do some- So you're with the sounds like you're doing an A-Z-L on Broadway? Pfft.
Starting point is 00:11:13 This is the weirdest thing. It is even though this is a new podcast a week later. It seems to be deteriorating like it was a 1L recording. It's so strange. It's so strange. Guys, we've only been recording for 13 minutes. So where were we at the story? Uh, the two weeks being followed, Mal's big bullies.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Oh, it's the longest. Tall and creamy. Long story. We've been saying it two weeks until it's... Yeah. So we got some nerds, there's some fucking nerds for the other time. So nerds, they meet me and they're like, hey, Mal, let's go to Blue Trade. So we go to this restaurant and-
Starting point is 00:11:46 No, Blue Trade, this adds a very fun look. Yeah, it's- And so, what year is this? This is like 2012. So during this time, you're being bullied relentlessly at high school now. By the way, 12, yeah, sure. I actually, I was quite cool in year 12. Yeah, the team.
Starting point is 00:12:01 You should have been more like- When you were calling year 12, how are you cool? I was a jock Yeah, Nepal here were you a Nepal star? You have Nepal here. Well, I don't know if it's a TV here I never turn on the TV. I have sport. Turn on a TV here. I never turn on the TV. It's just a netball. There's the netball channel.
Starting point is 00:12:31 It's channel one. Channel two, channel three, the Māori channel, and the netball channel, which is just a netball. I don't know. The comedy channel's just netball. It's so much netball. True. What did you have on the back of your year 12 shirt?
Starting point is 00:12:45 For the pinnacle or for? What's your last year of school here? 13. 13. 13? Yeah. I had so young. It's true.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I've missed. But we still finished the same time. Um, when you're five. What's it called? It's year one. Yeah, it is. Here's the thing. We cook, because we're normal.
Starting point is 00:13:04 We call our first year prep and our second year year one. Yeah, there's the thing. We call, because we're normal. We call our first year prep and our second year year one. That makes so much more sense. We educated one more year. So we're probably a smarter country. Yeah. I only with eyes decisions just right here. Let's not antagonize the New Zealand audience.'m not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. I'm not going to tag you guys. We don't answer that one. Yeah, exactly what happened. What are the things on the form was, oh yeah, whatever. That's great. Your 13, you know how you write something on the back of it?
Starting point is 00:13:55 Yes. What did you write? My Melodoodle. That's my, I was really just having a brand. That's my twilla, my twilla, that's my catchphrase. And then I left it at having that brand. That's my to follow my Twitter. That's my catchphrase. And then I left it at Rainbow Zined. You left it, where? I left it at Rainbow Zined.
Starting point is 00:14:11 You guys think it's Rainbow Zined? No. Is that a cool nightclub? So it's the best theme park in the world. No. Are there some little New Zealand theme park? No, I have a little theme Zealand theme park. Oh, no. Can I have a little theme park? I can get off it.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Do you? Do you? Can I have a little theme park? It's got to. No, no, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Ah, your film industry is much more robust than ours.
Starting point is 00:14:40 It has a roller coaster. That's pretty great. Is it thrilling or is it a bit... It happens. It happens. We got a log flute. What's a long flute? It's like a long song made into this.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Right. That's hilarious. There's a musician called Flume. And he's saying they're just a long version of him. That is what's there. It's quite fun. His flume is just there, but a very tall flume. That's the best attraction.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I reckon he has. Not being part of the scary itier because people actually die on this For those who listen to our podcast you would be you would Every week we have to cut out a thing about the theme park Every week every week we talk about it so much. I I had a night I woke up from a nightmare the other day Right there that I was working at. I used to work at a place called Sovereign Hill, which is an open-air museum.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Okay, in this nightmare, just before you continue, were your parents still together? At this time, yes, but not happy. You have to realize they were not happy for, perpetually for 30 years. Cool side of them. Still the side of them, two kids. Oh, yeah, cool dude side of that two kids.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Oh yeah, cool dude. Keep it up, bro. Until we've got your broken life. Let's talk. You're 10 years, man. Let's not talk about my nightmare then. I'm just saying once and I. What have you been doing on this couch?
Starting point is 00:16:23 I was real full on. I had to call my girlfriend and talk to her about that at the stage. Was he sobering here a girlfriend? No, he's a herring girlfriend. What? But no, I ain't real life. Do you know that she actually loved you? No, no, just a little bit.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Well, the thing is, I'll never know. I'll never trust her. It's not quite 30 years. Sorry, that was a question. In real life, you called your current girlfriend. Yes. I'm not in the dream. Not in the dream. I had a Tremultra as a pervious person. That's what Zach is bringing up for me. I've always said the best place to... You call it a relationship. I call it five years of fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:16:59 I was at the best place to vent is in a New Zealand comedy theatre while we're recorded. What she did to me, it's so funny, it was... No, we don't need the law suits. We'll talk about it later. Please, on the topic of avoiding law suits, let's talk some more about New Zealand. What happened to you? Oh, no, you don't basically what happened. Actually, well, it happened at an open-air museum that sort of surrounded, that talks about
Starting point is 00:17:28 Ballarat and Australia during the 1800s, during the Gold Rush, and a family died in your dream. In my dream. And I woke up so stressed out and freaked because I saw it happen. That's so fucking cool, man. It was pretty funny. That's so fucking cool man. It was pretty funny. Ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, um, it's a cool one. So, I need to call my mum. So, now let's move on to the far funny topic of our government agency.
Starting point is 00:17:55 This is antagonizing you. It doesn't get much, I'll go, there's no crescendo here, but basically. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We didn't anticipate it, it's eight to eight. So, we just, we go into the restaurant and says, me and these two AGO guys wearing their civilian clothes. Can I just say? Yep, go on.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Just for... I just want to finish the long boring story. Oh, it's a lot more bloody wine. Excuse me, Brad. No, that's cool man. I eat. I eat. Guys, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Wait, you're just a context you were having oysters. Oh, we had half a dozen, I ordered. So, by the way, I got to the restaurant and then they said, look, we're paying. So I was like, oh, cool, cool. I acted like I wasn't excited bro. It's freaking exciting. So I ordered a whole fish.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Were you at all scared? Did you have any ideas? I was, but that was about. That was about? Because when I was at work and they called me, I said, look, do I even have to talk to you legally? Am I under any obligation? They said, look, you're not under any obligation legally,
Starting point is 00:18:54 but if you don't meet us, we're going to view that adversely. So we highly recommend that you meet us. He says, so what do you want to talk about? That's what we just want to talk to you about, anything. That you think might be of interest to us with regards to the South Asian communities in Australia or the Arabic-speaking communities in Australia or the Muslim community.
Starting point is 00:19:09 So pretty broad themes, really. And so I basically hung up phone, caught up my friend, I said, look, do I need to use a lawyer? He goes, I don't need to, but if you've got nothing high, maybe just meet him, he'll get them off your case. So I met him, and on the way, when they spoke to me on the phone, on the way to Blue Train, I said, can I tell anybody about this and they said no you can't
Starting point is 00:19:27 tell anybody about it. And so I, you know, this is a podcast. I thought this was like a therapy session for me in my, I'm working through some stuff man. I'm really enjoying this. So we've got got their ordered food, started pretending like we were just three friends, just having a catch up, just having it just laughing and up, just joking. But then they're trying to ask me tricky questions, but they were really dumb-treaty questions,
Starting point is 00:19:54 so they'd be like, oh, Nazeem, you know, what's going on in Israel and Palestine? I mean, what the Israelis are doing to the Palestinians? I mean, it's pretty crazy, isn't it? I mean, it makes you wanna, I mean, it makes you want, I mean, it makes, as if I was just gonna jump in there and be like, oh yeah, kill all the Jews wipe Israel off the mat and we're right,
Starting point is 00:20:11 and we're right brothers, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, they're like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, but you know, I was finishing eating at the end, they're like, don't tell anybody about it. I told everybody, but I told my friend, my good friend, this is how we got to the Lapa Keshia, right? My friend, Abdul Nasr Al-Hatibe, he's an Iraqi guy, and he looks like his name sounds, like Abdul Nasr Al-Hatibe, that's his name. And he's a professional photographer, a week after I told him what happened to me.
Starting point is 00:20:43 He was out in Sydney, just photographs of stuff like the Sydney hub bridge Opera house on the other bridges everyone likes taking furniture the next day He was at home. He got a knock at the door He opened it up and as two members a Zio standing there and they said hi Can we come in? We're from Asia? Can we come inside and speak to you please? And he said well hang on a second. I actually spoke to my friend Nazim, and he said, you guys pay for lunch. So, I was like, he's just going to get this, bro.
Starting point is 00:21:10 So we went to Lappel-Keta. I was like, what? Lappel-Keta, you idiot, they're paying for lunch. Because I'm not swear to order from the deluxe menu, you're promised, gourmet pizza, you know? He was like, I'm going to take him to the fans. Oh, the place. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:23 I'm going to book this shit out of him. Extra toppings. Two garlic breads for the list. Bowl of chips for the table. Oh man. I see a single people in the middle of lunch. Right, so I tell a bolt. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:21:37 So they told him to bring his laptop and his camera to go through all the photos. They've gone through all the photos, asking tough questions like, are you a terrorist now? Are you sure? No, yes, I'm sure. Question question. Until I got to this one photograph, were you taking a photo up his own nose? That's when they closed his laptop and gave me my camera and said, mate, that'll be all thanks. That's how they're cantering terrorism in Australia.
Starting point is 00:21:57 That's the thing, so it's all to come in. Just one. It's killing the scene. And they took two weeks, guys. That's a thing, though. It went through his laptop, but that's so fucking dumb, because if I was doing bad stuff, I'd just put on incognito mode. No, no, no. That's a snapchat, you know? Yeah, I do a lot of stuff on incognito mode. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:18 And I'm clean in the eyes of the wall. Yeah, that's the thing. Asia hasn't figured out incognito yet. So they only check out the public browsing. Yeah, just. Yeah. It is. That's amazing thing Asia hasn't figured out in Cognita yet. So they only check out the public browsing, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Yeah, I mean, look, if you're hungry, just, you've got a beard. Just don't take some photos. I'm just going to imply in the next podcast that you told us some stuff after this podcast. Or just say, they take us out. Or just say in this podcast, terrorism. I mean, I see where they're coming from. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Don't. We're going to just start going. Watch us on me. Mel, have you ever been taken out for dinner by these... It's crazy. As you was telling that story, exactly what happened to me. Blue train and everything. Even like, Blue Train, I was like, it was all coming back to me. The outfits, it was insane. Yeah, well...
Starting point is 00:23:08 Now, but you murdered someone you said. Oh, no, you didn't say that. No, she was... SHOT! Val Mal's story is that she was bullied in her early years of high school. Then in year 13 turned into a jock, was crushing it, and it started to bully others. Is that correct 100% That's a super avenged story. Yeah revenge fantasy. Would you say the people you bullied deserved it?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Yes. Yeah, I always find that It's a yeah, that's how I that's kind of how I justify it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like did they have a they have stupid faces? Yes Calling me creamy. Yeah, your big forehead, freak. Wow. Who are you talking to? If you were bullying someone, you'd go after their forehead.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Yeah, that's the way to do it. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm going to be forward. How are you going? You have a very brave story. Objectively,, you have a body dysphoria to your hat. Objectively, how is this a small forward?
Starting point is 00:24:07 I think it's a very, it's a very, let's put no foreheads next to each other. I've got a bigger forehead than you, so. Zach, Zach has a bigger forehead than you. Let's take a little photo. Sorry. To the audience and the list is, I'm gonna just,
Starting point is 00:24:22 it is time to inspire Nizeme and let him know. Yeah. I don't know what happened to you as a kid Nizeme to make you think that you have a large forehead. It is the meekest forehead. If anything, it's a tiny little... If anything, it's too small. It's too small.
Starting point is 00:24:39 If anything, it's a tiny little forehead. Or a little forehead. Or maybe a little forehead. Or maybe a little forehead. I'm going to rename you a forehead. baby, oh. You little foreign guy. I'm going to rename you all the forehead tiny, Timmy, motherfucker. That's bloody one-eyed, I just... That is the Lego equivalent of foreheads,
Starting point is 00:24:53 two pieces, shit. The eyebrow's like Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus hair like that. If you've never seen this before, it's his hairline, then literally his eyes. It's not even a forehead, it's like a two-head. It's a head. I don't know where the eyebrows start the forehead in. I don't know. Well I know is that I have never hated anyone as much as I hate the Z-
Starting point is 00:25:14 Right. But generally though I have the biggest forehead because I have no hair. But I think I don't know if that counts as a big forehead. What are you talking about? You've got some forehead and then- Well so then some head. So without hair. Well I see I'm saying bald people just counts as a big farad. What are you talking about, boy? You've got some for it and then you're going to have some hair, so without hair. Well, I see I'm saying, all people just have a big forehead. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:29 What does it say, you're, oh, there's a thing that people used to say. Because I would say, come here, bro, and come here, come here, and I'll describe it. I'm coming to you. I was walking towards. I mean, I actually need to say, that's your forehead, and that's a very real forehead.
Starting point is 00:25:44 No, but there's skin here, boy. No, no, that is head. Okay, the forehead is the four of your head. You tell him the scene. There mate. Or there actually. You've got your t-shirt, your shirt has a ghost in a cup. Yeah. The smoke is a ghost. Oh wow. Can you actually say that? I might actually, do we want to just interview the ghost in the cup? Right, do you want to... Yeah, you can interview him. So we're sitting here with a ghost in a cup. Ghost in the cup, how are you? Ooh!
Starting point is 00:26:25 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, took a photo spooky. Oh yeah, good, good. Ooooooo! I used to be a coffee, but then I died. Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Okay, and uh... Uh, did you... Ooooooo!
Starting point is 00:26:37 AHHHH! AHHHH! Can we just pull? Ooooooo! Come on, man! I'm talking to ghost in a cappin. Sorry, man. Come on We got we got ghost in a cup in to mail to Germany questions for ghost in How did you die ghost in the cup? Oh? Naseem he was a bit tired so he drunk me off
Starting point is 00:26:59 You did some shit amazing Ribbit That's a shit, Nathan. What the hell the fuck? Ooh, look at that. Ribbit, ribbit. Ribbit. It's a swamp. So, it's frogs and other sort of amphibious things. Do you ever see any ghosts? Do you believe in ghosts?
Starting point is 00:27:15 This strange, because the ghost in the cup has been here this whole time, and just now we're in a swamp. What? The whole, excuse me? I'm doing it in Nickel and Dime dime you know, what are you applying? I just I'm just saying that The ghost and the cat was being present but just quite silent look. I don't do characters. I don't do them well All right, so I can think of a character you do well. Oh
Starting point is 00:27:40 Big fucking But that's just me all the time. Your character of broken son is one of the best characters on his life. It's one of my favorite characters. He's very just so happily together. He was fucking with you. Yeah, up top. They're not there.
Starting point is 00:27:57 They're not. Just want to say, now, your hosting radio right now. Yeah. Ooh, an illusion. Another illusion. I thought it was just the pre-record. No, it is a pre- now. Yeah, oh, an illusion. Another illusion. I thought it was just a prerecord. No, it is a prerecord.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Oh, right. But someone listening to you. Right now, if anyone's listening to the radio whilst listening to this podcast, feel listening to the Hordechi? Look, it's a trick. Could this be the one in each ear? You could put the...
Starting point is 00:28:21 Oh, no, but when they listen to this podcast, I won't be on the radio. I mean, people are your kids. Are you never on the... Oh no, but when they listen to this podcast, it won't be, I won't be on the radio. I mean, people are your kids right now. Are you never on the radio again after, I thought it was like a weekly thing. I will, but then, no one's gonna listen to the podcast and go, hang on a minute.
Starting point is 00:28:34 People are gonna do it. Wait! Send in the hashtag, if you're doing it right now, hashtag, I'm listening to both Mal, on the anti-dominant podcast and on New Zealand radio right now. See I assume this would be a recorded thing that's put out later.
Starting point is 00:28:49 It is. It is. It is so live, listen to it live. They could be listening to it. What? Don't you understand about this? I... They wouldn't be confused if they listened to this podcast and also on the radio.
Starting point is 00:29:03 So they... So, I can't... Because they can choose when to listen to it. Yeah. But what, what they could be listening to both at the same time. I know. And we're gonna, they're gonna hit us up with a hashtag if they are. We're pro-choice with this kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Like, I can't. Well, you can listen to podcasts. When you want, you can listen to the radio when you want. Yeah. I'm an anti-choice. I'm an anti- the radio when you want yeah, I'm I'm an anti-choice Oh, I just don't like choice. I just like a menu with one item I like most of our reviews
Starting point is 00:29:36 Now I there is something that that bothered me from last week and that is that you don't have a Wikipedia page Yes We we spent the. We spent the week. We spent the week. Wow. You're out of your way. If you're out of your way, hashtag, what are Mel got no Wikipedia page?
Starting point is 00:29:53 It's just like an Oprah moment. Everybody look under your seats. You've got a Wikipedia page. You've got a Wikipedia page. Someone make Mel a Wikipedia page. Yeah, someone make that. They were a bit lovely. Do you actually want to, are you trying to, are you on the run or something?
Starting point is 00:30:09 I'm sort of off the grid. Not any braceful as a convicted murderer. I thought that's not like, you know how they've got like early life. I don't want to be like early life murder family. Except I just don't want that submission part of that. Murder is something that I think if you're going to live a full life, murder is one of those things that you know it's something that everybody should, I mean I haven't experienced it so I'm not a missing out on.
Starting point is 00:30:35 What do you mean? Someone's getting another phone call from AZ, I'm hungry, I'm hungry. Hey, yeah it's just like, hey you guys, you guys ready for some lunch? You just pick up a phone. Alright, let's do this. It just gets to the point where they're like, in the same, but we know you're not a terrorist. No, I swear to God, come on, let's pick up the V. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 That's not a short time. Just take me to Lord of the Fries. I'll let you convince you. I don't care. Don't have to go somewhere fancy anymore. I'll pull a drink up, mate. Those are just double-a battery straps. Jacket.
Starting point is 00:31:12 What you have to stop the podcast now? Oh, we crossed the line. No. What Brontans ran to talk about is freaking broken parents. But I can't talk about being a terrorist. That's right. All right. Uh.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Ha ha ha. Uh, that went okay considering we've never done one of these before. Thank you so much for being a lovely warm audience. Oh, yeah. Thanks everyone for coming. Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Thank you so much. Keep it going, familiarity brace well. Cool freak, Naseem Hussein. Just a quick thank you to the New Zealand comedy festival for putting this together in the placement, venue, and all the star in the tournament. Is there anything you guys want to plug? Do you want to plug your radio show?
Starting point is 00:31:54 Oh, yes, listen to the podcast and my radio show at the same time. On the Saturdays, two to seven. I'm Radio Horaki, but look, how you like this. And all your socials, Meladoodle. Meladoodle, yes. That's great. And then there's anything.
Starting point is 00:32:09 If I'm my jumper at Rambo's end, who may I? I'm doing shows at the New Zealand Conti Festival, weeks before this girl's. Next year, probably. So, yeah, hopefully you caught them. Well, just, just, just, just, yeah, you get the Zee on Twitter at I am a terror. Seriously, I am a terror. I love seafood.
Starting point is 00:32:32 I'm taking out a Nando's. Get some blackout. Thank you so much everyone. We had the best time. I hope you had a great time. Goodbye. It's maybe had a great time. Thank you so much for coming. Really. You enjoyed your time. That was beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you to our time. Thank you so much for coming. Really had a great time. You were a great disaster. That was beautiful. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you to the guests.
Starting point is 00:32:48 Thank you to the guests. Thank you to the new ones. Thanks for having us. Thanks, Mary. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You want to play.
Starting point is 00:32:56 I just want a good back to get them out. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna Podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-apisode brought to you by Aunty Donna Club. See you next week! you

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