Aunty Donna Podcast - Lucy Decides

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

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Just another Wednesday with the boys. This is, we are coming to the end of the YouTube's. Era. Era. Yeah. Which is a sub-era of the Cold Cuts era. Yes. It's an offshoot.

Just to be clear. And tell me if I'm wrong here, but we're still in the Cold Cuts era. This is, yes, and this is as much, this is like the cold roche chicken that you get from the Daly, this era. So is it a cold cut? Not necessarily, but it's next to all the cold cuts. And it is cold meat, and the meat has been cut. But it's not. necessarily a cold cut. So yeah, the umbrella, I think, is the Dally era. You've got the cold cuts.

And this, I would say, is your roast chicken. What was the Jack Dwayne era? That was probably the olives. Potato salad. Yeah, yeah, the stodgy potato salad. But you've joined us, sorry to just pass the salad. I'll bring that to a close. Well, I mean, there's more salads that we could talk about. And that can be for another episode. Like the coleslaw. Carl Sthor, we haven't done Something with a thick, creamy sauce That shouldn't be there for the whole day

You know, should get refreshed halfway through it Who's getting that? Who's, who's? I don't know Pensioners like an old single pensioner Maybe families I, during my uni years Was a big fan of the deli section You get one hot dog

One, you know, one, you're just enough for one boy Yeah I used to love the sort of coles Past salad, potato salad and a barbecue sausage Sure I'm less keen on. them now. But you've joined us for a very special episode today because in the cold cut subsection

you choose deli subsection, you choose era. But after this, let me tell you something right now, we're moving on to that area where they have hot meat. So whether you can get your quarter roast chook and at certain coles you can get a, um, uh, chicken fingers. Yeah, a roast pork. Some dims soon sometimes. Or silver side, silver side.

silver side corn beef so that's just to give you a little fucking idea of where we're heading to next big things plan thank you so much warm meats thank you mark thank you mark the warm meat error shut the fuck up yeah yeah i'm just saying it's like people bought their tickets for upenheimer

yeah i mean odyssey it's hard because both these movies last movies start with oh so i keep getting them confused well it's in the o trilogy about the same thing aren't they Yes. Man's hubris. Nice, Zach, going thematics. You were all like, Zach's being stupid.

They're not about the same thing. One's 19 fucking, one's a fucking biopic. Good point. Yeah, there's an epic poem. But no, he was talking thematically. And you've joined us for a very special episode today because... I'm not going to interrupt you, bro. Great, thank you.

So stop looking over at me. I'm dumb talking meat. We are joined today. How are you done talking salads? Well, let's see how this goes, because if I need to bring up another salad, I will. This week's episode is in the you choose era.

Tabuli is a salad. In the you choose, in the you choose era, this episode is Lucy's choice. So Lucy, if you don't know, Lucy works with this over here at Donner HQ. That's what we call it. Don't worry, I'm not going to say the address, but we're at Donner HQ.

and it's in the northern suburbs. Don't. Of Melbourne. But... Don't. How fuck do you like it? How fuck do you like it? I'm not doxing what kind of fucking dead animals is that.

But you are doxing what I get at the deli. You get the salads? Sometimes. You used to? Yeah. And I might still. Is that doxing? But what if I walk up there and someone comes up?

Oh, you're getting the tabooly. Then that's fucking sick. That saves you. You air and effort and energy and you can... For you how much, what container size? Small. Well, yeah, exactly. You said for one boy.

Thanks. You said for one boy. I'm sorry. Lucy chooses is tearing this podcast apart. Lucy works with us. Lucy is... You're like 15 years our junior. Yes.

Just from another world. Yeah. And Lucy's job is to sit in the corner while we do. this and take notes about Lucy Lucy has never known a world without 9-11. Every day is 9-11 for Lucy. I think we can get into that as well and as equally powerful

the other day we were shooting something at a comedy venue and someone said roves on after you and she said who's rove. Yeah. So that's the kind of context for who we're talking about here. Someone who hasn't seen 9-11 and someone who hasn't seen rove. So get ready to mug boys.

I don't know what Do you know what Mogg means? I think it's time to get your Riz on I kind of know Riz I didn't know you wore it though But we're joined Can you Is Mogg the cat

From the children's books Please welcome to the show For the first time ever It's Lucy What's up Lucy Hello, how are we? First on in front of the camera, are you nervous? A little bit.

I've sadly been roped into this more than once. This isn't my first time. No, I think you said you wanted to choose a podcast. What was that all stuff about? I'd love the chance to get on there and build my brand and all that stuff you were saying. Lizzie's never said that. I've never said that. I'm going to come in to defend.

Thanks, Zach. Stop bullying Lucy. Stop pulling Lucy? And if you bully her anymore, I'm going to... Um, mug you. The fuck, can we not do this? What's wrong with you?

Can this be my choice? No. Zach, do it. Oh, no. Lucy, please. Lucy, it's your, it's your choice. Honestly, what do you want your episode to be? This is Lucy's choice.

This is very... And if you want it to be every time I do a joke, I do that laugh, that is your choice. Can there be layers to it? Because I think that should be a layer. What's your choice? I'm just worried that if you do this, Zach, me and Broden might be getting mugged.

I looked it up. So now I know what it means. Can I ask a question? Can I ask a question? So this is the question to you, Mark. There's layers obviously to this show and obviously there's a like a cake. Yeah. There's layer to.

Layers to this show, which are obviously performative, right? But there are layers to this where sincere things are happening as well. Yeah. So when you looked up mug and you did the joke and you did the laugh thing, I read that as you were in, like there was an, after it was, like you were embarrassed. Are you worried because I mugged you? Oh, man, they're awful. What's wrong with this laugh?

It's my new laugh. Oh, okay. If it's your new laugh, I accept it. I think you should do it more. Thank you. Outside of Donna. Really? Yes, I think people will like that in a movie theater.

I just, wow, next time I'm watching a hit comedy. Or The Odyssey. That's not a funny movie. But there might be funny moments in it. You know, like maybe Odysseus will turn to Achilles and go, So that's what that feels like. Is it already out when this comes out? Tom's laughing.

Is it already out when this comes out? I know we're recording this. Yeah. Yeah, it came out last month or so. But we're not banking them though, so. I was like, Lucy, I'm going to throw back to you. Do you, what do you, well, so far is this what you, is this your choice? What do you want?

Not really. I like the laughing's fun. I was talking to Tom and he was asking what my favorite donopods are. And I said, I like the ones where you call Joe. So I think we should call Joe. I also liked it when we ordered pizza because it meant I got pizza. Okay. So I think if we order another kind of food would be nice.

This is good. This is great. This will become Lucy's favourite episode. Call Joe, order some sort of food. I also like your impression of Marge Simpson, Zach. I think if you do your Marge Simpson. I've been working on a Sam Altman. That's fun.

She said Marge Simpson, not Sam Altman. I'll do Sam Altman another day. Yeah, sure. Because she said Marge Simpson. Okay, sure. It's Lucy's choice. Sure. Not Zach's.

I've been working on something choice. Sure. And I haven't really been working on it. I just thought that would be a fun one to do it. I'd like to hear it. Another time. I haven't done it. Unless Lucy for some of those.

I'd like to hear you're Sam Altman. No, no, no. You want Sam Oldman? No. I think she just said. The CEO of Open AI. Yes. That's she just.

Lucy, what do you want? I would like to hear Zach's Sam Altman impression. But we can say that as well as the Marge. As well as Marge. As well as Marge. Okay. If Lucy says it, it goes. I've got to write these down, I think.

I can write them down. Send them to us? Yeah. No, no, you're talking. I'll write down. Okay. So you want us to ring Joe? You want a pizza?

We don't have to do pizza. What do you want? What snack do you want? I don't mind. It just has to be gluten-free and vejo as I'm vego at the moment. Probably a pizza. Yeah? I mean, that's all like soup.

What do you want? What do you want? It's your choice. Let's do pizza. What do you usually have for a lunch? Lucy wants. If you're having a lunch. Probably like rice and tofu.

We could get you a rice tofu. Yeah. Or Toro sushi. We could do a sushi. We could do a sushi. Any heightened characters or anything? We've got, do you want? We're going to order you a sushi.

Can you play another Simpsons character? Yeah, you can, and you can pick it right after this break. Hi, welcome back. Lucy, our employee, is choosing what this podcast is about. So far, we're going to call Joe Kosky, who you may know of Shrek. We're going to order some sort of lunch for Lucy and the team. Zach is going to do Marge and Sam Altman. And we're just about to find out what Simpsons character Broden is about to play on Lucy's pick.

Because this is Lucy's choice. Absolutely. Who's your favourite Simpsons character? It would be as of today Probably worker and parasite Okay Do you want to be Hans Molman Yeah sure

I could do that I'd love for Yeah I don't give a fuck about that I'd love Mark to do one But that's only if Lucy wants to Sorry Because I know you would like that But I only want to do what Lucy wants to do

Yeah Do you want to play one of the Beatles What one would you like me to play Lucy What's your favourite beetle I don't know, they're all Ringo? Why would you say Ringo? I think I heard someone say you looked a bit like Ringo.

What is it about me? What physical feature? It was your hair. Is it about, oh, my hair. Yeah. My hair. Yeah. What are you implying it is?

Your beard? She genuinely doesn't know what you're talking about. No. Well, that's very sweet, Lucy. I think Ringo's got possibly he's... The least character. No, I was going to say. say the most ris in a lot of ways.

I would agree. Ringo's got a lot of Riz. I was just talking about he has a big nose. I watched a hard day's night the other day and he's got a lot of Riz. Oh no, I love Ringo. But it's hard. That's like asking me to pick my favorite child's beetle. Right.

It's a hard choice to make. Your favorite child's beetle? Yeah, like who's my child's favorite beetle? That's like asking me to choose. My favorite child's beetle. So you've got a favorite child. That's easy. Yeah, that's easy.

But who's their favorite beetle? I don't know. That's impossible to choose. Oh, I see. Yeah. So, okay. So anything else you want, Lucy, for your special episode? I'm quite happy with that. Maybe if all the characters want to sing a song.

Okay, sure. Okay, and all the characters sing a song. And what would you like a genre for that song? A national anthem. A national anthem. Of... What? Canada. Okay.

I like the Canada. I don't know. The Canada one, but okay. Sure. Yeah. Well, we'll make it up. Okay. Oh, Canada.

our home of native land. Oh, Canada. Yeah, I don't know the next line, but we can look them up. We'll look that up. It's whatever you want. It's whatever you want. So you want us to call Joe, order some lunch. Yeah.

To Marge, Sam Altman, Ringo and Hans Malman. And then at the end, all the characters, sing a song, the Canadian National Anthem. Yeah. That's your choice. And I think we are all of the understanding that. it good or bad this it's all on Lucy's shoulders

no no no no no that's okay I'll wear that yeah is that cool yeah great because I would love the week off in terms of but I need a break from sort of the barrage feeling the weight put a 23 year old

well it's Lucy's choice I asked her if that's what she wanted and she said she was cool with it so any any complaints or praise goes to Lucy I don't want to fucking hear from any of you

this week I'm taking it off yeah Mark's taking this week off the feet because Mark sits there reading the comments Oh he does Oh it's all I do He goes

He's got a little hovel in upstairs He goes Oh what are they saying now Yeah But more for quality control And he scrolls To raise my blood pressure We hear him

We hear him Nattering through the Because he's above us Oh I don't natter He goes I don't know Oh, I don't natter. What have they said about my friend Broden this week?

Oh, that's very main. That's what he says. Yeah. Oh, someone said something positive, yes. Yes, yes. And then I write that down in my love book. Yeah. Do you know that, Lucy?

Mark has a love book where he writes positive comments? Not quite. It's good. It writes it by hand. Yeah. Mark does have really nice hand writing. Yeah. When I'm,

whenever I'm feeling a little blue. Well, maybe you want for your episode, Mark, to write you something on some paper. Yeah? Yeah. I've got paper. Is that what you want Lucy or have you being forced into that decision? No, I would like that actually. I do like that. You don't have to do that Lucy.

You've said yes to everything we've pitched. What would you like me to write on there, Lucy? It can be a birthday card. It can be a poem to anyone in your life that you want to express something towards, maybe a paternal figure or a pet. I think if you write just like a general message and then I could sell it to some. some message for selling. Yeah.

Like a. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like something to sell on eBay. I think, yeah. A general message. Like a general like congrats slash happy birthday. Hi, it's me, Mark Bonanno from Hood. Okay.

That one for any occasion. A message for any occasion. Haven't you done well. Ha ha. I think that's perfect. Okay, great. I can do that for you. I can do that.

And maybe a little picture. Easy. Anything else? I'm happy with that. Would you like a framing device? or anything, would you like it to be a parody of something? I'm happy for Mark Twos, his creative. I think, I think Zach was, do you want to explain?

Yeah, the overall. So, in general. Would you like to meet the characters, sing the Canadian National Anthem within a sort of a construct, a pastiche? I trust. This is your job. Thank you. Do you want us to say anything to Joe in particular?

I think if you called him in character, it would be funny. What character? All of your characters. I have two. So would you like me to just maybe do a little bit of Sam, Altman and then move over to match. I'm happy to lose Sam Altman. Sure.

We can push Sam Altman to a... Are you sure? Yeah. It has to be your choice. I will actively choose that. You were pressured into that? I don't know who Sam Altman is. Well, then...

Well, then that makes me feel like you were pressured into even allowing Sam Altman. Well, I did feel a little bit, but now I feel... I never meant to pressure you. It was always... It's your choice. I feel... I'm happy with my choices now. Tom, just with the technical, could you call Joe on your...

Facebook messenger, which is connected to the ox. Tom, your phone is being used, but you can use my phone. He's going to use his laptop. Because if you're joining us now, this is the Lucy episode, where Lucy's choice reigns supreme. Whatever Lucy wants, Lucy gets, because Lucy is our target audience. So she is your mouthpiece for this episode. I don't know.

I was just sort of trying to fill up time while Tom was doing the Facebook thing. So I was just kind of just, I don't even. even really know what I said to be completely honest. I might have just... If I was way off, that's fine. No, I just... She's on the lower end. I'm happy to pull back.

I just think... I really think of target audience, but I... Well, you should... That's why this podcast is failing, because we don't think about our target audience enough. And if we don't fucking lift... Pull up our fucking socks soon, all of this...

Is gone. Tom, can you... Can you pull up some music? before you call Joe, can you pull up some Simpson-style music, even Danny Alphman-style music? All of that. I don't want anything under copyright, you know, but just like a Simpson-style, Danny-Alphan-style,

so we can open. Well, that's happening. I ask everyone at home and you both here to picture an image a young man at the gym listening to this podcast. Yep. on the rowing machine or you know doing yeah i got it isn't that strange this grand design's bad yeah yeah do a different danie alphan oh homie

here i am at our house you are off to work at the nuclear power station is this my mind yeah that was great and i am a put upon the woman this is actually great I just realized this is great. Knock, knock, knock. Oh, homie!

Who might it be? Hello, Marge. My name's Ringo and I play the drums. You paid pictures of me. You paid pictures of me. Ringo. I can't do Ringo. I like the monkeys more.

You want me to just at the same time. Lucy just handed me a pen and paper, so I think I need to start writing my... And I can't do Ringo, so... Hello, it's me, Hans, moleman. Hello. old man I am marge my hair be blue, my skin be yellow

I am a decrepit put upon old man in the town of Springfield My homie is at the power station But there has been an event Some sort of incident I cannot get on the roads

I think that perhaps there's been a meltdown I worry my homie is dead I featured in a film that was a run around up in a film festival featuring a ball hitting me in the scrotum. Knock knock. Hello? Hello, this is the police.

What this is? I'm so sorry to tell you about your husband, Homer Simpson, died in the nuclear meltdown. Oh no. Of this horrible news, I'm Hans Moorman. I'm sorry for your loss, Marge. Oh, I'm devastated. I did.

What will I do? You must see if the power plant will financially look after you with this horrific incident. The life of your children, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie is important that they are looked after

and the loss of their father. That he was the only health insurance we had. Considering in America, there is no access to free health insurance. Well, we must take this issue to the cords, whether that is with Lionel Hutz or one of the other featured

Springfield solicitors. Well, here he is now. Mark Bonano in the role of Aaron Brockovich. Hi, I'm Mark Bonano in the role of Aaron Brockovich, and I have something to say to you. Wow, is that? Look at those boobies! Yeah, I've got big norks. Oh, I know you. But that's not what you need to listen to me for or about.

I'm more than my norks. Aaron, I remember you from the... Class action against the California water treatment plant that killed many people with toxic water. This is my new friend. Han the mole. I am a decrepit tiny man with a walking stick and brown leathery skin. I be marge, my hair be blue, my skin be yellow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

I'm in a film that features me getting hit in the scrotum with football. Oh, yes, I've seen it at the short film festival. My husband is dead. Oh, I'm a died? Oh, did you miss that while you were wrong? I missed that, I was writing some stuff. He died in a nuclear power plant accident. Oh, my God.

And now I need you, Aaron Brockovich, because he was the only, um, he was, he had our, um, it was the sole income provider. And also health insurance. Yeah, how do he died? In a nuclear reactor? Well, I'm more, I'm more like pollution in water and stuff. No, but I think it's about the class action against Monsignor Burns. Is it?

Yes. He is an oligarch. Yeah. We must bring down this oligarch. I haven't seen Aaron Brokevich in a long time. Think of Bart Liza and Meg in the future. It holds up. It holds up.

I am Aaron Brokevich, and I want to say to the witch. That is poison. That you have no place here. You think you're all class, but how about this class action suit? That I put onto you. Oh, you're suing me? Uh, yeah.

I have brought Aaron Brockovich into my house and she sues me. This is very unfortunate in set of circumstances with me, Hans. Mallman. Once my car was driven off a freeway and set alight by, where it's calling Joe now. Humphily he answers. Will he hear us in the music? Will he hear us? Joseph, it's Hans Mallman. Don't let Lucy down, Joe. We'll try on the phone. You'll try to be asleep. Hang up.

Now, Joe, now Bowden will try on his phone. He's asleep. We can cut this down in the edit. No, it's okay. They need to see the truth. It's good for kids today to see how long sometimes a phone call. Husband died in that nuclear power station. I thought I would never be love again.

Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Can you pause that music? I just want to check in with everyone how we feel the Lucy's choice episode is going. Well, I'm assuming this is her favorite episode ever because it has all their favorite bits and pieces in it. Joe message? Um, let me check. Maybe, oh, hang on.

Joe's calling me, everyone. Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe. Hello, this is Hans. Oh, man. Hello? That's Marge Simpson. Has the phone was. their Hans Moleman.

Husband, homie, he died in a nuclear power station accident. I'll like to put you on to Aaron Brockovich now. Hello, Joe. Yes, I'm Aaron Brokevich. And this is Hahn Moan. And now we got Hans Mole man here. And the Marge. And the Marge Simpson.

And you wouldn't believe it. Homer died in a nuclear... Let me finish, Joe. Let me finish. He died in a nuclear power plant accident, and I am bringing a class action lawsuit to the oligarchs of Springfield. I have health insurance. Make sense.

Tell him I don't have health insurance now. That's what you do. Marge is a homemaker. She has not health insurance, and Homer had the health insurance. What of poor Maggie's teething? What of my troubled boy, Bart? What of her troubled boy?

but Hans Moleman looks like he has some things to say to you Joe I pass it Stay on the line Joe Joe Joe I was in the middle I have nothing to say to you I'm just passing the phone to Hans Moorman Terrific Joe my hair be blue

My skin be yellow Hello Joe it's Hans Mole man here A small retiree from the town of Springfield. My skin is brown and leathery. I walk with the help of a cane. I featured in a short film. What's wrong, Lucy? Cut it.

Cut it? Hang up. You hang up now. We're asking something. Ask him something first. Joe, what are you doing? I'm just... Oh, we lost him.

We lost him. You happy, Lucy? Yeah, that was great. That's all I wanted. This is all your choice, Lucy. Lucy, can you put on, can you look up a... You're still much? Canadian, national at the...

Yeah. ...cariochi. And how are we all feeling so far? Feeling pretty good, yeah. Yes. Am I back to being Hans Moll man? Did we get the pizza? Oh, we did it.

I think we landed on sushi. Are we getting sushi? Taro sushi? All right, yeah. I didn't know. Tom? My phone's filming. I can order.

Do you have a card? Yeah. I just worry about it dropping the energy beyond the point of, you know, like a podcast, you'd sort of be talking into the mic and if we all stop. What if we promise sushi? Yeah, we promise you sushi. Yeah, that sounds great. You'll have the Hans Mulman approval and guarantee that.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's very hard to do a improvised comedy podcast and write a general message. What did you ride? Well, I haven't finished yet. Well, what have you written so far? So, well, do you want me to just reveal it all at the end? Well, we are at the end of the episode. So?

Well, then just give me like one more minute to finish it. Wait, we give him one minute. Well, we can sing while he... Oh, okay. I don't know the... What you need to get the national anthem lyrics up? What's that one that's like, oh, Canada? That's the one.

That's it. No, it's a different one. What are you talk about? I'm thinking of a different song. They say, Oh, Canada and a different song. I mean, I think I only know the Canada. Canadian National Anthem from South Park, right? Hit it.

Wait, let me find the lyrics. Here it comes. This is the Canadian National Anthem performed by Hans Mulman and maybe Marge. Maybe Marge if I remember bits. Oh, Canada, our home and native land.

True patriot love in all of us command. Catombras, for l'alapid, and salvo la la quah. Ton here. My mind went French. The hot meat era is going to be like anything unlike you've ever seen. We're talking.

Oh, Canada, we stand on God for me. Delicious. Fresh out of the broiler. Oh, Canada. This stuff ever even happened. I promise. I have your note, Lucy. Can you read it out?

Yes, I'm not super happy with the handwriting, but you know, it's hard when you... Yeah. It says, so there's a general message. It says, I'm so happy or sad for what today is or what happened to you or loved one. Good. Congratulations or I'm sorry. That's so good. Love Mark Samuel Banana.

That's so good. Did you like that much? Can you pick up a... Now we're going to end on the real Canadian National Anthem. Can you pull up a song by just do karaoke. the weekend. Okay. It can be any song.

Wow. Is he Canadian? Yeah. Can I, while you're doing that, Lucy, I'll just do a sincere apology to the audience. We do our best every week and I know sometimes it might not feel like we do, but, you know, we try. We try. And sometimes weird stuff happens. And we are so grateful, there's that karaoke, classic karaoke video sound.

We're so grateful. for what you, that you keep coming back and keep showing love, it means the world to Mark Zach and I. Thanks to Lucy for the choices. And it's a roller coaster. It goes up, it goes down. And so don't worry when it goes down. Because after it goes down, you know what's going up.

And Mark, great letter you wrote. Thank you. And thank you, Lucy. Thank you, Lucy. Great choices. Thanks. You know, I think we'd been on our A game. What did we stop?

Why did we stop? You missed the start of it. Oh, we just go back. Can you just go back? Can you, I don't know this song well enough. What is this song? This is, and I know she'll be the death of me. I've never heard this song.

You have. I know she'll be the death of me. You will know the chorus. You know, I don't know. Just point at me. Do you want Hans Malman and Mudge to sing this? And I know she'll be the death of me. A least will both be numb.

And I'll always take the best of me. The worst is yet to come. And I amends I'll be necessary. Are you going to join in Mark? Yes, I know. Yes, I know She told me Don't worry

About it She told me to worry No more I had no faith at all But I was so wrong I know the chorus She told me you'll never Be along forever

I can't feel my face when I'm with you Hodge Mulman But I love it And much But I love it And Erin Brockovich, played by Marcia. I can feel my face when I'm with you. But I love it.

But I love it. I can feel my face. Needs to me, at least will but be named. I leave the lives as good for me. The worst is yet to come. Have a misery. What's necessary. Where you are this I know.

This I know. This I. This is. Did I know. Huh. She don't need to worry. about it she told me don't worry no more we both know we can't go without it she told me no never be a lot oh oh oh we're actually winning over the crowd

I can feel my face when I'm with you come on you love it but I love it as much as the class action soothed Wake up Joe. But I love it. I can't feel my face when I'm with you. But I love it. But I love it. But I love it. But I love it.

When I'm with you. My skin is yellow and my hair is blue. Why did you stop? Lucy's choice. It's Lucy's choice. Lucy. It's getting too much for you, Lucy. Next Canadian anthem.

I'm happy to end it then. It's Lucy's choice. It's losing's choice. It's lose his choice. We end it. Bye, everyone. Bye. You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another Ripper episode brought to you by Auntie Donner Club.com. See you next week. Welcome to the future.