Aunty Donna Podcast - Michael(s) Hing's Thing

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

Michael Hing is back on the pod and joins the boys from his bedroom for a deep dive into his not-so-new TV show Australia's Best Competition Competition (available on ABC iView in Australia). Don’t forget to tell the boys where they should go on their 2023 World Tour! Head to auntydonna.com let them know. Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, everybody, it's me, Zach from Auntie Donna. I'm so sorry to bother you. We will get on with the podcast soon. I'm sorry, but I just wanted to say that we're coming to the US and Canada and the UK and Ireland. And if it's terribly okay with you, we'd love to know where you are. That's right. We want to know where you are. So can you please sign up to our two emailing list at anti-donna.com and enter your capital city.

Then we'll know whether or not we can come to this city. This is vitally important if you want us to come to your city. So get on, right down your city and we'll come. And if you don't sign up, we're not going to come to your city. Do you understand this? Anti-donna world tour in 2023. Power through, come on, mate. Yeah, sign up to our tour mailing list

at Antidona.com now. You lose it. I think that was a good read. Well done. Thank you. A list-n-up production. Michael Hing has a brand new show on the ABC. It's called...

Australia's... Oh, sorry. Say it, Michael. It's called Australia's best competition competition. And we had, yeah, and it's a great show about them doing the best competitions, like getting oiled up with him and his best mate Louis Hobba.

Well, we're colleagues. So we got him on the podcast. Yeah, have a bit of a play. So that's coming up right now. It's Michael Hing on the anti-donna podcast. Hello and welcome to the anti-donna podcast. I'm going to introduce everyone. You know him as the long-haired one, the one who's staring blankly at me.

The one who was looking at me, like, he was dying. It's Zach. I didn't know who you were gonna go, because Mark's got a good mid-length haircut, so. The next guest is you know him as he's good mid-length haircut, so... Hmm. The next guest is... You know him as he's got mid-length hair. Hmm. He's...

Where's this going? He's got a beard. Where's this going? His name is Mark! Oh, okay. That was good. And you want me to do you? Yeah.

Oh, he's got a beard. I'll put with all the beard. Drinking coffee. Just say no hair. Drinking coffee. You know you want to do you. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna be up at with all the drinking coffee. Just say no. Yeah, drinking coffee. You know, you want to do it. And say, I don't think I think that's cheap. It's gouache. Hat and coffee. It's a casual ghost couch couch. It's pronounced couch. It's pronounced cat. Wait, what did you think? I was saying. What did you think? I was saying when I said gouch, and then we were deciding whether it was gouch or gouch.

Gouch. Gouch. Gouch. I'm gouch or gouch. I didn't think that, I don't think that saying Brodyn is bald or making a joke about his baldness is like a couch. Comfortable reclining.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For all the one person. I don't think that. Um, I don't think it's couch. But he is here. Say gauche. Why? Go, shog goug or gooch. It's not gooch. It's not gooch. How can you know? He's the one with the gooch. It's Broden Kelly. I do. We're joined by guests today. Yes. Broden Callie. Broden Callie. No, Michael Hing.

So, Michael is elsewhere. We're in our fancy studio for those watching, whether on Patreon or on socials. And Michael is on a sort of a Zoom or the equivalent. And for those watching, Michael, thanks for cleaning your room before hopping on the equivalent. And for those watching, Michael, thanks for cleaning your room before hopping on the podcast. Well, I didn't, I actually didn't realize this was going to be third one to have honest, but if you want to go through, we can go through some of my stuff.

I only want to talk what you're loving. Can I ask a question? Yeah, go for it. You've got three to four Woolworth's bags full of shit on the phone. I mean, that was going gonna be mine. Sorry, but what's in those fucking bags man? All right, in this bag bag number one Yeah, this is a fucking mess man A box of hyper-allergenic tissue they know more Michaels you got your own right? We understand Exactly

The softest of touches I We understand. No, more. Exactly. Exactly. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them.

We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them.

We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. We don't like all of them. because a cup of coffee that he's drinking from, it still has the spoon in it, rather than take the spoon out, he's using his finger to hold the spoon on the cup as he sips, that thing's gonna poke your god there, am I out, Michael? Michael's, we don't wanna see your eye getting

poked out, bro. I think that'd be great Patreon content, you know? That's true. Can you explain the thought behind the spoon? This is okay. So what happened was, I, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, then I thought, hey, hang, you've got yourself a little treat. Why don't you go make yourself a nice little coffee downstairs? So then I added boiling water to my coffee because it was just a little shutter coffee and I thought that's too hot. So I put the spoon in, there's no milk right? It's just like coffee, but put the spoon in

to act as a conductor of heat out of the coffee to more quickly cool the coffee. Is that science or stupid? I'm so sorry. I don't know if that science or your an idiot. No, that is Michael, you are the first person in the history of the anti-donna podcast to bring a thermodynamic concepts into the podcast. The fact that you're doing it

in order to cool your coffee. He's as Mark pointed out both the smartest and stupidest moment on the entire podcast. So there's no sugar on milk in it at all, but you've got a spoon in your coffee. It's just a coffee with just a spoon. It's coffee and spoon. But a cool spoon. Yeah, there's quite some. with just a spoon. It's coffee and spoon. It's spoon. A spoon. Yeah. Of course. It's my...

Now, I've done some tests previously. Pfft. And if anyone has, if anyone would like to call their coffee with a spoon, I actually worked out the most efficient way to do it. So obviously, the options are, leave it in, right? That's one option. Okay. That's what it is.

Yeah. Now, that's like living it in. Second option is the stir, okay? They're just moving around. Don't get out of me. Don't get out me. Yeah, don't get out me. Third option, and then the most effective option

is to leave the spoon in the coffee like this and then occasionally pull the spoon out, right? Count to three and then put the spoon back in. I don't know why that's the most efficient way to call a coffee, but it is. You're cooling the spoon back in. I don't know why that's the most efficient way to call a coffee, but it is. You're cooling the spoon. You're cooling the spoon. And then put it back into the coffee.

And then when you put the spoon back in, you're, and then I suppose that the spoon is absorbing the heat of the coffee all the way to the top of the spoon. Usually, usually I just wait a bit. So anyway, that should tap water could have worked. Michael, Michael, Michael's, Michael's, what is your thing?

What's, what's my thing? My thing's being a dynamic performer, okay? I have lots to bring. I can sing. I can dance. Sing a sing for us. I can. I said, what's your thing?

Because your name is Michael's. No, what said, what's your hint? Because your name is Michael Zing. No, what's my thing? Like I was telling you, what I bring to the table, what my thing. What's Hing's thing? What's my thing? Yeah, but can we hear what song would you like to sing? Well, I didn't actually care.

But you can sing. Hallelujah always makes me cry. You want me to sing? You, I mean, just a couple bars would be lovely. I mean, I can get the lyrics up now. Obviously, or you can just, you can, you can, you can scatter it if you want. I, I, I'm not that's the Leonard Cohen version. Is that what you want?

I would personally prefer the John Kayle version. But while we cut to an ad break, we're going to let you have a think about which version of the song to listen to Michael. And then when we come back, Michael's hing will be performing. I'll allow you. And we're back with Michael's hing. Michael, you've graciously prepared. I think that was the point for an ad. I don't think that was the point where we'll put an ad.

Was it? I don't know. It was. I just thought it would be funny if there's an ad before that and then I just said that and then there was no ad. I think leave all the same and it would be funny if there's an ad later. It would put the ads now. Yeah.

All right. And we're back. We're back. Michael's now. Yeah. All right. And we're back. We're back. Michael's Michael T. Michael's thing is, um, performing one of my favorite songs, the Hallelujah, um, Jeff Bucket wrote this. I'm not.

Oh, something. I don't know. No, but it's in. It's a great. It's a great. It makes me cry. And um, can it, can just can anyone throw to an ad cry. And can anyone throw it on ad break? Can I throw it on ad break?

I mean, whether we put an ad in or not, I think that's up to the gods. You can throw it on ad break. We promised we'll put one in. We promised we'll put one in. I need a bit more time to prepare. Let's just play it some more ad. So throw it on the ads. Hey, guys, okay.

Well, say, here's a word from our sponsors? Just, he's a word from our sponsors. He's a word from our sponsors. I imagine it's Gina Runhart. Yeah. And probably the Republican party. Open your ears to a new world. Hey, guys, while there's ads a point, yeah. Sorry.

I lied about the... I've seen it. I can't see it. I don't, I can't, I'm not a train singer, I've never sung before in my life. I don't, I don't know why I said that. It was, you know, so I, I mean, I can do it if you guys want me to, but it's not really, it's not really my strong singing.

Do you realize the situation you put us in here, Michael? Well, I don't, what do you mean? So you've never made us lie. And our relationship with our audience is a sacrament. The relationship and the trust that our audience has with us is more important than anything else and you have made us lie it. We've promised them a song. You've turned that sacrament into excrement and we're not happy about it. So either you sing this fucking song or you are choosing to fuck us. So I make the call. Are you gonna fuck us? Are you gonna fuck us?

Or you're gonna step up the plate? That's good. I don't... That was my only options. Um... Then, to be honest, I'm gonna be happy with either. Yeah, and I'm happy if you don't want to as well. Yeah, if you're not comfortable doing something, you would never make it. I like it, and fuck. Also, you could change the lyrics to Alaluya to being like a parody song,

but I worry that would be a little couch. LAUGHTER He's here. Download the new app now and listen for free. Welcome back from the ad break. With friends of the show. With friends of the show. That's all I'm saying about you.

Michael's, you are going to perform for us a parody version of Hallelujah. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. Parade. with the Parisian visual earring to be about the CD 2000 little Olympics. Did you know this?

I don't. Do I know this? No. Is this it? Yeah, I'm trying to help you out brother. Okay. You don't have to. You don't have this in this microphone.

I do. I'm back. Hey, baby. I've been here before. I know this city. And I've been here before. I know this city and I've walked this floor of the city. I used to live alone before I came to Sydney. What? I've seen your flag on the bridge that's an arch, and it's like the hub bridge, but listen, love is not some victory marathon.

It's a cold and it's a broken Sydney Olympics. That him doing it would be how he would fuck us. I thought they're not fucking us. Not doing the song would be the fucking us. Turns out doing the song is what's fucked us. And so, and so, I didn't realize I was in to a situation when it happened. I was getting fucked.

Yeah, usually, that's a fine situation for me. Thank you, that's enough. Thank you, that's enough. We've heard enough, they're all my friends. We've heard enough, thank you Michael. Thank you. That's enough. Thank you. That's enough. We've heard enough. Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Michael. You want to be, what did you guys think of my song, my parody song that I wrote about?

Yeah, it's good. That's really good. I heard that you wanted to teach us. The whole of you. The sketches. Yeah, don't, let's not talk about the song anymore. Let's talk about you. I want to do, you guys want to do the song.

No, Michael, no, you probably, you probably, you wanna, I think just leave it. I don't wanna, a little birdie told me a rumor that you had some sketches, that you were supposed to take the note back. Take the note, Michael, we're moving on. We're moving on. What's this song like, because I was last time,

I was a very good Michael's, it wasn't very good. Last time Michael's was on the podcast, he pitched us some excellent sketch ideas. We did letters and numbers last time. And the time Michael's was on the podcast. He pitched us some excellent sketch ideas. We did letters and numbers last time and the time before that was an excellent thing. Yeah, where Michael's pitched us some sketches and Michael's you've got a hing. I've got another verse. Do you guys want it? Do you guys want Michael? Michael's gone when you're done. We could do something about like wintery the room. I don't know. Stop. Michael's like stop. Stop. We will not promote your show.. We will not promote your show.

Maybe we will not promote your show. That's pretty good. Well, like the, exactly. We can talk about like, you know, guys, no, what about like, what about like, those, you know, like those shirts, the people were like, the volunteer city to the outside of looking shirts, and they still wear them. It's like 20 years later. And that's like funny. All right, guys. I think that's funny. I think that's good. But Michael, you've got to understand. I'm three-people man. Talk about that. Now, you've got my vote of confidence. I like the Sydney 2000 parody of Aalulia. But there's three people here and I'm not confident you're going to get those two other people to vote in your favor. I think it's better to move on.

So you should make a full way to say a you suggesting of doing a parody version of Hallelujah where you sing about how people wear t-shirts of the Sydney 2000 Olympics today? That's a verse. That's a verse. That's one of the verses. Yes. That's one of the verses. Obviously, Hallelujah is like a six minute song.

So, you know, I could do the whole thing. Sorry. I feel like I've got to be upset there for a second, you guys. And I'm really sorry. Michael, you know your emotional regulations. Can I just say though, if Michael were willing to get up at a major comedy room in Sydney and perform, perform the entirety of Valeruja with lyrics changed

to being about people that still wear the Sydney to be as a volunteer t-shirt. Yeah. I'd be, you know, I think it's a better angle. I'd give him a, you know, I'd give him a bit of mergers. Give him some, I do a very soft hate when you say, hallelujah. hallelujah, yeah, probably.

Oh, yeah, I don't, I don't think I pronounce the H. When I say hallelujah. I'd say hallelujah, but I'm, I'm atheist. Michael's had a use, how do you say? I believe we live in a godless world. Michael's head is a I would I would say gouch. That's very different. That's very different.

Michael, do you believe God is dead? I I don't I don't know. I don't I didn't realize that. Do you believe that we are in a godless world and it's all nothing? I didn't realize we'd be. When I did your opinion, he might have came on to do some fun rifts. Yeah, yeah. You were the one that brought thermodynamics into the conversation.

That's a very short skip away from theoretical physics. Again, a very short skip away from conversation about atheism. Michael. This is on you, mate. Very simple. Yes or no? When we die, do we go into the earth and that's it? It's over and it meant nothing. Or do you believe there to be a higher power of some form?

Can I, can I, before we answer the question, can you give me some info on the demographics of the anti-donna business ship? I don't, pretty broad. I just don't want to offend. Yeah. I don't want to offend. Super broad. We're not really political. So, yeah, anything you say is going to divide. We have a breakdown that we've done in our office. It's essentially, people who like our stuff tend to also still have Fox-Tel set top boxes.

This is described to like a news court newspaper, like it's delivered to the house. Sure. And they have you have two to three, um, investment properties. And they, and they're usually making up their mind about whether or not they're going to take a chance on a new television comedy show on that, basically. Okay. So ask the question again.

Go again. We can cut all that. Ask the question again. Sorry. Do you believe God is dead? No. God is alive. God is very much alive. And I, and I, I'm fully on board with that.

Correct. What is your moral? I believe in tender mentions. Ten. Ten. Ten. What do you mean? I believe in the three spatial dimensions.

I believe in time. I believe in the fourth dimension. No, no, no, no. And then I believe the fourth dimension is water spraying on you in a soft mess in a cinema. No, that's the fourth dimension. Okay. No. The irony is, you know, in a lot of ways we're both wrong.

Go on. Oh, and then the six dimensions are a little curled up, Demet, that microscopic quantum dimensions that are curled up around every... I don't know. I don't. But no, enough about this. Or, believe it, I just said a thing. I don't know. I don't know. But no, enough about this or believe it. I just, I just said a thing. And now you've backed me into a corner.

It's more the term to make yourself. You've done this to yourself. I don't think we, we didn't believe in this. There's a, there's, there's a Twitter account called Arning on a fact check. And it's a, it's a, it's a boy from Melbourne who goes through every podcast we do and podcast, podcast about Poe from. I think I'm gonna fuck you on this one.

And they, with a fine tooth comb, break down everything we've ever said and tell us if it's, tell people if it's fact or if we're lying. So I was talking about a thing called string theory. Now, a lot of, a lot of the results of the party. I have never seen Broden and Mark lose interest in you so quickly, as that sentence just said, that Michael, I wasn't going to go into it. Both of their eyes clased over so quickly.

Here's what I'm saying to you, man. I wasn't going to go into it because I know that that was going to happen, but there is someone on Twitter that will fact check me. And if I don't back what I say, they're going to fuck me. What did I do, Michael? Can I tell you a wonderful thing I saw Broden do, which is with his left hand, he got it out like he was checking his phone, but he didn't have his phone. He just looked at his hand.

That's a worry. Well, that's a level of boredom. Are we out of time now? If you're listening, you can go. Just go. Yeah. I do want to say, if you're listening, just stop listening. Because that wants to know, before you dismiss the list, can I plug my fucking

intro? Yeah, but we'll do it in the intro. I reckon, well, let's put this in. Put this in at the start, but also leave it here. So like, you ready? Yeah. Michael Hing has a brand new show on the ABC. It's called...

Australia's... Oh, sorry. Say it, Michael. It's called Australia's best competition competition. And we had... Yeah, and it's a great show about them doing the best competitions, like, or getting oiled up with him and his best mate, Louis Hobber. Well, we're colleagues. No, Louis, my, my, my partner, Louis and I went around Australia.

And I, I guess everyone around the world would have like, weird town, like, hometown competitions that are run, like woodshopping or like oil wrestling or whatever and we went around Australia doing those. This has been this has been delayed somewhat so it is no longer available on television but it is available on i's where anyone under 50 watches stuff anyway. Exactly so or you can just follow me on socials at hangers and I will I'll I'll I'll show you how to see it but it's it's real fun And if you're like, all the boys wrestling, yeah, get involved. So we got him on the podcast. Yeah, have a bit of a play.

So that's coming up right now. It's Michael Hing on the anti-donap podcast. So put that at the front and then also leave it here. And then, yeah, we get to the end. Can I just say I'm glad that we did that, because otherwise, I was gonna see. Thanks Michael. Goodbye. Michael, bye.

Love you. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-episode brought to you by Aunty Donna Club.com. See you next week. you