Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 144 - Sam, Sam, Sam & Mark feat. Stuart Daulman

Episode Date: April 16, 2019

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today's podcast is brought to you by Stuart Daumann and his show Masterclass at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It has six-ish, maybe five or six more shows as of today. Go see it, it's bloody fantastic. Now let's start. I think we should get a, we should make an intro song. That's a story for another time. Hmm.

All right. Here we go. Hello and welcome to the anti-duna podcast. Sorry, sorry, anti-dona podcast. Oh God, sometimes I just want to, oh, anyway, thank you so much for joining us here today. We have something, we have some reoccurring guests. We had some guests on a podcast earlier in the last year, later in the last year, earlier in the timeline of my life.

And they were quite popular. We wanted to bring them back. I am, of course, talking about the wonderful South African Sam's. However, something quite strange happened. I rang up South African Sam to see if he and his... Listen, I know you're doing what you're doing. Do you know what you're doing, man? I'm introducing the podcast, yes.

Listen, listen, Mark. Yeah. This is a very hard day for me. do you know what you're doing, man? I'm introducing the podcast, yes. Listen, listen Mark. What you're, this is a very hard day for me. Do you know why? A hard, do you know why? Do you know why it is a hard day for me, Mark? Today's not a walk in the park. Don't you fuck with me, Mark? Sorry, yep.

Listen, do you know the dumb from South Africa? Do you know that? Do you know that? Have you heard that before? You say it quite a lot, yeah. When you say it, walk in the park, it makes me think of my timings in Cape Town. Yeah. And how it was not to walk in the park. No.

It would have been quite difficult to me. Listen. Cancer ratio. It's a hard day for me. And you're doing an introduction to the podcast. Yes. It makes me think that you're not taking this seriously, man. I'm taking this very seriously, I mean, with what you brought to me, I rang you up. I rang, rang Broden up, I said, can you put on the character?

And you were like, yeah. This is not the character, mate. Listen, hey mate, listen. Okay. When you talk about me, Sam, from South Africa, like that, is if I'm a character made by Broden, it makes me think you do not know what is luck in the African content and South Africa. I'm not the South of that. I've never been to Egypt. Listen, my, listen. Listen, mate. Okay. Have you read the power of one?

The power of one? Yes, I've read this power of one. Well, we spoke about it. We'll be right to walk in the park. Read that book. Do your introduction quickly, come on man. Okay, so what I called you Sam and you said that you would love to come on with Sam. You're very hard day for me man. Yeah, your brother, whoever the fuck that other Sam was to you. Sam is my brother, Mark. But Sam's gone missing. This right.

Mark. So, so we couldn't have you both on on here but he's gone missing in very strange circumstances. Mark, I woke up this morning in Melbourne, in Donkaster, where my family lives and I thought, and I thought, I'm going to link my brothers Sam who lives in Perth because South African people tend to be from Perth or Donkaster Yeah, and I said where rang him he and he did not answer the phone mark It is not to walk in the park. No, but you have we have We have I don't know if someone here. We have someone here. He's a paperboard. He's a riverboard. He has a riverboard

I don't know where he is man. You know I asked him I said do you get that from working out and he said he was like no, it's just like that That's right because he's Sam is good to rip a board. Yeah, these are two things man If you are Sam and you are from South Africa you were to rip a board Yeah, there's no doubt that if you're name is Sam and you are from South Africa that your body is a ripen It's a joke to you man. No, it's not a job. I'm taking this very seriously. Your brother Sam has gone missing. That's why we have this guest. That's why we outsourced against. That's right. We needed, I needed to find a PR detective. Yeah. Find out where my brother Sam is. Yeah. Yeah. Is he a joke to you? No, I'm not laughing. I'm I'm that's why

So we've got here we have Sam who you from South Africa Sam that is correct. Yes, so and you are a a Private investigator I investigate privately private investigator, I investigate privately. Privately, it's not like a public one, man. You're not employed by the government here. People outsource me to investigate situations. And so Sam has gone to a great,

and the other is on a podcast, we've put all our Patreon money and you can subscribe to Patreon at Patreon.com. This is not the time for you to be trying to be part of your Patreon numbers. This is not a walk in the park. No, I know it's not a walk in the park. I cannot explain how many times I've had things told to me that I'm not a walk in the park.

Well, it's maybe if you listen, man. Do you think that we are in little swings? Yeah, we think we're in a swing set in a box, I'm with. No, we're not in a swing set. Do you think we're playing on a little seesaw? No, do you think we're like running around the 10? The 10 man. The 10?

The 10, the 5k. Yeah. Up and down those hills around the botanical garden. This is a decent man. Sorry, I've just went to Jamaica. Now listen to me, Mark. Listen mate, listen to, listen to Sam over here. Okay.

Thank you Sam for telling me, listen. Thank you, Mark. Shut up. Shut up man you Sam for telling me this. Thank you, Mark. Shut up. Shut up man. Shame man talking so much. I know, right? Shame. It's unbelievable this kind of situation we're in here.

Now listen, Sam, I've lost my brother, Sam. I do not know where he is. Yes. This is the reason for my current employment, I believe. Well, that's right. That's right. I've called on you. What is the currency in South Africa?

Rand. I've paid many rangs upon 12 to 100 now. It's quite expensive. Well, yeah, it's quite cheap actually for you guys to fly me out. And I appreciate that. We spend so much rand to come here, bring you here to find my brother Sam.

I can't believe your name is also Sam. Do you think people who work in the sex industry in South Africa, they're always like, oh, I'm Randy for some Rand? Do you think this is a joke, man? No, I'm just asking. It is because Rand is not, that is obviously, that's quite a justifiable question to ask, I think. Especially considering,

the word playing bold in that is actually quite, that makes sense. And look, I think. Especially considering. The word playing in there is actually quite, you know, that makes sense. And look, I'm not gonna say no, but I'm not gonna say yes either. Is it something you can investigate privately for me? Absolutely. Can I come back to you via letter? Yes.

Oh. You can send me a letter. Listen, I'm very sad about my brother. I woke up this morning, I said, I wanted to ring Sam's, say, how's your Ripperboard? And you did not answer the phone. And you have a Ripperboard, too, Sam.

Sam's. Sam. Who are you talking to, man? Talking to Sam with the Ripperboard from South Africa. Sam, you do have a Ripperboard. I do. Look at that, abs, man. Thank you.

Now, your picks are percolating. They're percolating like a coffee, man. Do you know what I get? Yeah, Italian, you have Italian muscles. Hey, man, do you see me on some sort of salad? Do you see me sliding around as if I'm in a playground? I thought you said, do I say you on some sort of like, salada, and I was gonna say, absolutely not your man.

I think I'm the only thing I picture on a salada is a delicious piece of vegan cheese. Do you see me on an outdoor gym equipment situation? Do you see me in one of those counsel installed areas where you push the park back and forward? Do you just create your core strength man? No, I don't I don't what I want to get across is do you Think I've ever been in a park is it of your opinion that I've just never been to a park? My question to you, man, is this... do you think what... Sam? You let me... okay, yes. I'm Sam, I'm from South Africa.

Yes, of course, I'm from Germiston. I love Germiston, man. We're part of Germiston. I'm the Jack. Yeah, the South East side with the Jacker anders. Jack, oh man, have you seen the cheetah? Yeah, I've seen a cheetah. They're quick though. You got to be you got to drag that phone You've want to catch your own camera, but otherwise the Jacker Enders you're gonna be careful. They give you pink. I mean

Man-shame. What is a Jacker end? I've never heard like a purple tree. Sorry. I saw it's not an ant. Oh, so you just what? What did you just say? Not flora? It's a tree. I said what what is a, what is a tree? Check your end, a tree. Check your end, that gives you a pink eye. Yeah, they give you pink eye. Listen, listen, you're getting so mad at me. This is disrespectful what you are doing now, man.

Just asking a question, he's a private investigator. I'm always, I'm always one saying the word men away from becoming Jamaican. You're very careful, man. You're gonna be careful between men and man, man, man, man. I'm a good man. I'm a good man. You're going to be careful between men and man. Man, man, man. It's almost New Zealandish. Listen, there's two ways you can get pinker.

Okay, one, break this down. And I've privately investigated this, okay? Okay, number one, yeah. The jack-or-end is a falling in the streets. Okay, that's one. That's the answer, there's some sort of massacre happening in the Marvel Universe. It is. Well, it's crazy.

You drive around the streets in the Southeast side of Jameston, and the streets are covered in Jacker End. Oh, yeah. Shame, man. Shame, man. I'm torn over the bloody streets. Shame, man. So am I fault, I wasn't me.

Well, I'm trying to avoid hijackings. I'm just driving through there. And I'm trying to avoid these jackarans because they give you pinker. And the other one. He's not joking, man. No, I don't, I believe you. He's done this in private investigation.

Tell them about the different two ways that you can get pinker. There's a weird bird outside. Anyway, hardy does, I think. Hardy does. Hardy does. Now, have you seen the cheetah? Yes, I've seen the cheetah.

They're beautiful animals. They're quick. They're very quick. They're not as fast as Formula One racing car. No, that is correct. But again, this line of questioning seems like a joke. We'll look here. And we'll look here.

How do you not realize? Hey, who's your favorite South African comedian? I would say probably... Hmm. Uh... Oh, I don't know. Leon Schuster. Leon Schuster.

Do you think you're Leon Schuster? I'll never claim to be Leon Schuster. I don't even know the comedy stylings of Leon. He's a prankster, man. He's a dresser. Yo, he used to dress up in scary, off-requence cars. On golf courses.

Ah. That sounds like a legend. Oh, Shucks, it's Shuster 2 is one of the most fan-iest movies you've ever seen in your life. What's your favorite music? Cause Monty's Rodriguez. Yeah, and I'm Sugarman. Sugarman, yeah. Do you know that Sugarman was the biggest... We were thinking who's the Cippy in these Cippy clothes?

Yeah, do you know sugar men? I'm where that he plays the guitar. Listen, listen man. In what was happening, we were growing up in South Africa listening to Rodriguez. Yeah, and we thought he died. We thought he's head on stage, man. Listen stuff on fire, man. Let himself on fire, he said, that's his what we've and he helped us through the revolution

of South Africa Yeah, right and listen we thought he had dark men. Yeah, then we found him. He was in Detroit. It Detroit Detroit Michigan man listen Mark Listen, we thought that sugar man was dead, but you found him. He searched for him. He searched for sugar man Listen a friend of ours who run a record store in Cape Town, he said, listen, I've found Sugar Man, I've got rigged. Yeah, I found him and couldn't believe it. This is all featured in the documentary, searching for Sugar Man.

Look, we could see the room we could talk about, finding Sugar Man. We found him, there's no need to talk about it. The second way you get caught is by someone farting in your face. Did they have to have had pink eye? Is that true? It's true, man, but did I have to have had you guys? Oh my god. You have a you live a sheltered loft. I've never had I've never heard of being But it is someone's face and contracting

Listen mock and ocular disease listen mock okay? Listen mock listen. This is a private detective. Yeah. This is a man. P-R. P-R. Pink guy. P-R.

This is a private detective. This is the Sherlock Holmes of Jacaranda. Where are you from? A gemison. Germison man. Shame. Man. Look.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've shamed you. But what I want to do is what's very interesting? Mm-hmm is that Sam has gone missing and he's got a rip a bod He's got himself a good boy, and he's a man's brother. Have you seen my board? Yeah, Ripper and we want you to get to the bottom of what's happened now He has left he left some disturbing I tried to call him Sam tried to call him He left some disturbing voice I tried to call him, see, I'm trying to call him, he left some disturbing voicemails.

Is it? Yes. And we want to play the voicemails. And we want to see if you can use this in your PI. So I'm just calling my voicemail. Well, I'll record this on my triangular distance, relancating the technology. Yes, I've got the technology.

This is how we measure through grand is so he measured the grand so So this is the voicemail it starts with hello, and then he goes on to say this Hello a second time So I'm not sure if he called me and for And thought that I'd answered the phone or what but then the voicemail goes on like this. And the opening is a third of all, which is... Rule of three, this is interesting.

This is so cool, this is interesting. Maybe it's code. What? What do you want? It sounds like you're talking to him. It does, it sounds like to him. You said it was a voicemail, bro. Well, I mean, there's a confused right now,

is because you're not responding. Thought this was a voicemail. I'm trying to work out, you know, this is the most confused I've been since I've first moved to Per. He's in. So he's, I think he wrote this down. Yeah. So did he move on my lead? Get to pin and pay back. He moved to my return. Now He's confused. It might be because I have one of those funny voice mails that when I, and I go, hello Mark.

Oh, you're one of those. You are a trickster. Yeah. So you are like Loki. I'm trying to talk to you, not responding. You know, this is as confusing as when I first moved to Perth as a boy. Yeah, this is confused.

So he moved to Perth when he was a boy. Yeah, it seems like he's leaving breaths for you to talk. It is, it's a wonderful, it's a wonderful, it's a wonderful piece of the out voice mail. Nice. Time to that perfectly as well. But then he goes on to say this, and this is the most interesting part of the voice mail.

Mark, I'm going to go on to say the most interesting part of this voice mailicemail. Mark, I'm going to go on to say the most interesting part of this voicemail now, Mark. Mark, I just want to say to you that I know I've gone missing and that is why I'm calling you. So, that is interesting. That is very interesting. He is fully aware of him having gone missing, which is just fascinating. How could you go missing if you are calling someone?

I know, I know. It's, it, that you called him that, which is a total contradiction of the whole. Can you, can you ask him why he is, Sam, where are you? Mark, I'm pretty sure you're not. And the other Sam's asking me where I am. He's, he's incredible. Okay. Incredible foresight. This is man Mark. I moved back to Namibia. Oh, Namibia. Namibia. No man shame. There's so many lines there I mean it's up there from Melbourne. I couldn't go back to South Africa Mark. It's rough there, man It's so rough there. You're at the power of one. I

It's rough there man. It's so rough there. You're at the power of one. I haven't read the power run Have either of you Yeah, Pique at this cop The government are like a proverbial Pissing and I'm the boy. I'm being pissed on by the bully I believe he said this in the posse. Yeah, yeah He in this in that part of the voicemail he goes back and does a call back to the previous time he was on the podcast.

Everything he says is checking out, because you don't want to go to Nibibi and you don't want to go back to South Africa. No, so he's moved him and maybe... It's a rough day. It's a rough day. What? It's rough. It's rough.

It's ridiculous. It was fun. It was fun. The same. What's that story? The same. He's the one that you just won the same Wait, this is the first incredible voicemail I've ever heard have I called you Right is leaving Fitzroy so he currently in Fitzroy. Right, he's leaving Fitzroy. So he's in Fitzroy, okay. Okay, but where is Fitzroy? Down the road from the pizza place with the baby. I think he's talking about short cross. He's talking about, he's talking about,

he's talking about Bimbo's. Bimbo's. When I first met him from birth, I needed, because Bimbo's is in Fitzroy. Bimbo's a deer's man, like a cock is in the chapel street. That's right, Bimbo. Let me try something. But Bimbo's burned decent fit. Bimbo is a deer's man, like he cock is in the jeppest street. That's right, Bimbo. Let me try something. But Bimbo is burnt down though.

Yeah. Bimbo is burnt down man. It did it burn down. This isn't good. How do you know he's gonna move, going to say that? And can I just try something? Sam, can you hear me?

Yeah, absolutely. What? What? What can you hear? I can hear you talking to me. I can hear you asking me questions, I can hear you correcting and clarifying that I'm talking about windows. But this is just a voicemail and anything that's responding to statistical incidents. This is absolutely incredible, man.

I never thought I'd ever meet. And I've never thought I'd ever meet Nostradamus in the flesh. Vavosm. He's the Numbimi in Nostradamus. So that's so look I'm gonna end the voicemail there. You don't decide. It's been quite chatting to your voice.

If you ever want to visit, I'm just, I'm just on Planswick Street in Pitzroy. Right, save it, please. I can't. Goodbye. Press five, man. I've got five, but please don't hesitate to listen to any of my voice-mired things in future. No, because there are more.

Okay. Yeah, there are, but there are as many more as you want. Anyway, it was great to chat to you. South African Sam, great to see you again, chat to you again. Anyway, I'll see you boys later. See ya. I don't see you later. Wow, cheers, man.

Wow. Wow. Wow. So what can we draw from that? There's not much information we can take from that. It's cryptic, it's so cryptic. And that's just the beginning. Notice how you mentioned Perth one, two, three dams. Yeah. And he also mentioned specifically where he was living.

And he said hello three dams. Oh, yes. Hello, Perth. So hello, Perth, right? So you've got hello six letters. Yeah. Perth five letters. 11, right? Oh God, that's a 11. Oh my God. How much a pizza is at Bimbos? Nothing. Four dollars a pizza. Oh, go there between seven and 11 at night.

When seven, 11, 11, hello Perth, right? Try and get that to Fitzroy. Fitzroy. It fits Roy. I'm Mark. I know. But that's how we say, yeah, you fit right? You fit right? Yeah, yeah, if you fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right.

You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right.

You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You're big fit right. You. Okay. Yes. Then how many? How many is going, man? No, maybe five syllables.

He is in Fitzroy. Well. You really think he's in Fitzroy? Well, let's get this second voicemail up. It sounded like Sam was a bit flui. I like. Sam is... Sam?

Yeah, this is me. Oh, sorry, I was trying to call my voicemail number. I'm so sorry, we're trying to figure out where you are. Oh, no, this is a voicemail. Oh, okay. So, this is what's fascinating about the second voicemail. I've got the call to say, how are you today? Please call me back when you get the chance. This is what's fascinating about the second voice mail. I've got the call to say, how are you today?

Please call me back when you get the chance. So please call me back when you get the chance. Nine syllables. Nine syllables. So what's fascinating about this voice mail is that it opens up like he's answered the phone even more it's like it's even more obvious that this isn't a voicemail. Yeah, that's the effect I was going for.

Yeah. Sorry, what? Are you there? It's another amazing voicemail. He's not there. Just sit that part just in case you were saying something about the fact that I'm making a dumb big U.S. about whether this is a voicemail or part of a conversation. Right. Okay. So.

Yes, it is right. Okay. All right. Are you all right? How are you doing? I'm very well. Thank you. Okay.

I hope you ask if I was doing okay. Otherwise that would not work at all. So this is clearly a voicemail, right? Yeah, absolutely. Why would it work? Nobody's questioning that man. No. No.

I'm wearing blue pants. Thank you. Pardon? My pants are blue. It's pants are blue. Right, but that. No. I do need a haircut, but not any dumb soon. So it feels like what he's doing in this voicemail

is assuming I'm asking questions that I haven't asked. Like, what color are your pants? Yeah, have you had a haircut? I already told you what color my pants are and whether I need a haircut, why are you asking again? And then that time he's... He's doubling down on this. He's doubling down on the black He's doubling down on it.

Like we have to. Classic double down. Right. But here's where it gets interesting. What he says next, blue my fucking mind and left no question as to whether or not he was dead or alive. So just to be clear, I'm still alive, I live on Gran Zitz great, which you guessed, you guessed that.

It fits Roy, yeah, fits Roy. Fits Roy. Fits, you fit Roy. Are you asking about fits Roy? No, but it's still, if the slipper fits Roy. Ah, fits Roy, the slip a fits right? Ah, it's a boy the slip a fits yeah Ah, I bought some slippers in birth when I first moved here It's a bloody golden, not 3D, eh?

Hmm, so full again. That's how much golden I've ever got. Full back and forth. So it's rough in 7th and I tell you what. Sam, can you just excuse us for a moment? Yeah. What he's saying when these boys are as incredible as them? I tell you what. Sam, can you just excuse us for a moment? Yeah. What he's saying when these boys are as incredible as that?

I feel like he said maybe- He said Perth again. Yes, but also he said 10 times that he's telling his exactly his location. Yeah, Brunswick Street Fitzroy. But it fits, right? Four dollar pizzas near Bimbo's. Four dollars Bimbo's.

Burning down. What does that tell you? No. No. No. No. Yes. Absolutely not.

That's ridiculous. No, there's no way that South African said it could have been in cohorts with Manu to cause 9-11. That's just crazy. That's conspiracy. It's just to be clear, you're still wondering. I mean hiding because I was in cahoots with the celebrity chef man because we both brought down the

twin cars yeah Mark yeah you need to save this voicemail I'm gonna try I can't remember whether it's press five or seven it could be seven but press five that's a one plus it's seven it's seven. It's seven. I've got a trust. I've got a trust, South African Sam on here. Okay, so I'm gonna press seven. It's seven dwarves, if that's what you're asking. It's seven what?

Dwarves. Dwarves. The seven dwarves. Okay, so he thought we were going to ask him about this film Snow White and how many dwarves there were. I guess it is. So clearly he's off there. Yeah, he's asking catcher.

So what? Seven, no, 11. Sorry, what was that? Sorry, what was that? Sam? Sam, you said, it's gone dead. It's gone dead.

Sorry, if you're asking me questions and I can't answer in real time. Of course, because this is a voicemail. It's very confusing because he's so good at predicting. Forced at. It's why did he call you and do these? And before when you were listening to this before, you came into the podcast,

this would have been very weird for you. It was very, it was an odd experience that I was having at home. And I was like, I have to share this. I need to know if I'm having a mental episode which I'm kind of conneption or something. Yeah, like a episode which I'm trying to do. Some kind of conibption or something. Yeah, like a breakdown. I'm trying to get some psychological help for

or whether this is just a strange coincidence orchestrated by South African Sam, your brother Sam, that we can figure out what happened to him with your health, Sam. Absolutely. I like this recap you've done. Well, you know, it's just catching up people who are tuning in now.

Why would they be tuning in? Where they be where they click halfway through the podcast. The what? The conversation that you have. I'm not sure what you're talking about there. So the truth is, you know, they sell you three pairs, they sell you three stocks. So if you it's one of them, you still have a pair. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me because what you meant to do with the third song So he's talking about a company So sad that I forget you As assumed I'm out in my question About a believer specific company that I've heard him talk to me about in the past that that cell pairs of socks in three

Okay, right Okay, all right. Guys. She's not up to ask me a question about those three socks pairs or a sound illusion has gone out the window. Wait a minute, so let me get clarified. But just be very aware that he's mentioned perth three times.

Three times. And how many socks is he complaining about this company one two three four no three no lumenite that's the whole lumenitey thing which lumenitey fits right into the bimbo's nip-ratt fits right amazing so so that's that's the that's the end of that voice mail. But what I was thinking we could do next was just call him. I've lost the sort of purpose of why we're looking for him. Well, we found that pretty quick where he was. So it's sort of... Maybe that idea wasn't communicated well enough of the Facebook when we were talking to sack, to give it legs we were going to be looking for them, but that's okay because what we're planning on doing now, it sounds like it's a strange pattern of voice my way,

it just starts coughing into the phone. Sounds like we have a place pattern of voicemail. It just starts coughing into the front. Sounds like we have a place, Sam, has the flu. I got my black sack wasn't there because he had the flu. It's almost like that, but we're never enough. But what I thought we could do now, we didn't know. We never know. We never know. We never know.

We never know. We never know. We never know. We never know. We never know. We never know. We never know. We never know.

We never know. We never know. We never know. We never't, I didn't, I didn't. Oh, he's called you. What, he called me twice. He left his voice mails. But I haven't tried returning his calls. Okay. Well, maybe we should, yeah, give that a crack. Roll the dice, as I said.

I don't know that now. All right, listen, it's like we're in Las Vegas. Yeah. You just say goodbye. So let's just call his, let's just call his phone now. See if he answers. Man, I feel like I'm at Sun City Casino,

rolling the dice of the lost city. I'm so sorry that I missed you. I'm just calling to tell you. I don't know that you think I've gone missing, but I'm living in Brunswick Street in Bitsroy. Please call me back at your earliest convenience. Sam, I have called you back. This is your phone. What?

This time, I've called you when you've answered. I was checking my voice signals earlier. Why did you answer the phone like that? I just thought it would be fun. You know, mix it up a little bit. He's really sick, he says. Quite ill. The time I had fun was when I moved to Perth as a book. That's the last time. I went to high school with some other South Africans and some British people. There wasn't a lot of Australians in Perth, it was all British and South Africans. And we talked about our favorite morning television. Which was? the one that the little puppet and the beautiful blonde woman What he's talking about cartoon connection with aggro, right?

I grow yes, we don't have aggro in South Africa. We just have the news Over down the news. Yeah, we there's a lot of news going on, but a lot of it's buried a lot of the news is buried Hmm, I'll tell you the best news program is Power of One. That's luck truth. Well, yeah, that's more of a work of fiction. My favorite show. My favorite show in South Africa every morning that wake up and say, we in love Rodriguez and his music sugar man.

And then they would say, we he but he sent himself on fire. Yeah with the petrol and latter on stage Crazed shame man. Yeah Shade That's not who we are, you know, but that's all the fun we can have, you know Also, can I say one thing quickly while you're here Sam? I Strongly believe that Hansi Kronier was not guilty in taking those brubs. He was the best cricket captain this country's ever seen man. Oh okay. And Johnny Rhodes was another great cricket player.

Did not forget thefts, duplasses. Yes, that's also funny devilions as well. And Andrew Hudson, Peter Kirsten, Brian McMillan. I can't remember how we got onto the topic of cricket. I think we're just... We're not the power of one. That's my question to you. Have I read it? Yeah. We spoke about this in the last podcast. Yeah, we did, you know, and I'm not reading.

And you've had the number of months. You met another one of my brothers, South African Sam. Oh, you guys are brothers too. Yeah, we're blood related. Oh, I didn't know this. We're related. We have the same mother and father. Right.

Yes. We shared a house together when we were children. OK. When you were a child, Mark, you would sit down. You would read maybe Madeline, a book about the little French girl that was I close gotten connection on the H.S. when we were lippled boys we were at the power of one we would tell you know if you have a bullet I'll piss on you this is laughing South Africa yeah that's the absolutely correct but Madeline was French yeah you got to imagine being a

little French girl all I knew was the being a boy in South Africa until I moved to Perth and that was wonderful And that's probably why you sit here I think I'm building and I thought this is so much fun That's why you sit there Mark saying oh, I'm love growing up in Algiers. That's where I think you are all from That's why because I watch Madeline from where it be yeah Algiers or Cameroon. Yeah, but listen Yeah, from Algiers, you know, that was the closest to funds we could imagine. Right. It's the rights of Algiers.

The rights of Algiers. The rights. Yeah, this is our mad line. We would watch a Tokyo drama from the 1950s about Algiers. That was the most fun we could have. Yeah, and it was fun. It was fun. We need a book.

That was all we knew. But you know, and it was fun. It was fun. We didn't have borders. That was only new. But you know it. It wasn't to walk in the bulk. Oh, no, it wasn't to walk in the park mark. It was rough. Madeline or growing up in Cape Town. Growing up, growing up in South Africa, it wasn't to walk in the park mark.

Right. Listen, ground which I feel like we've covered. Yeah, suddenly. It was surprisingly rough. Sam, listen, Sam, are you still there, man? Yeah, man. Sorry, we're just, we're just,

everyone's just trying to be conscious of when saying man to not slip into a man. Particularly, yeah, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

Now listen Sam, so you are not kidnapped. Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm moved to a brand-extraint because my, my list ran out in South Yara. I moved to brand-extraint in Kriksaroa. I left you all a message or sent you an email, to be trying to call you Mark for two or three weeks. So I think if you thought I was kidnapped or anything, that really is on you. Yeah, all right, just maybe next time, I don't know, maybe next time you could just,

I don't know, you really did do everything didn't you? Yeah, send a letter, send a letter, that's my correspondence. We hired a personal investigator, Sim. Yeah. We spent so much rent, Krugerrand, except Krugerrand when I'm getting paid for this. Gold. So we see a South African brother. Is your brother, your brother, Sim?

Yeah. Oh, you're a little investigator, but... Yeah, that's it. Oh, that's great, you know? Have you guys not caught up in a while? He lifted me last night. Well, he moved to Brunswick Street from South Yara. I don't know what's going on there.

He told me I was like, I'm not... I said to him, if you move to Fitzroy, that is you and me, Dunnman. Yeah. So, not driving Dunn Haudel Street to... I'm a lucky cockman, not a bloody Bimbo's man, all right? I'm not going north of the river. I just said, you know, I can get four dollar pizza here,

but the rent is too high. I want somewhere where the rent is slightly cheaper, but going up every month, but there is still, you know, cheap pizza. Listen Sam, I have one question for you. I use, can you hear me, man? Yeah, yeah. How is your board? My board. Let me tell you, ever since I'm

moved to Perth I hit the beach. Which beach? Which beach where I could still say the Rio d'Intea building? Yeah which beach? Sand, which beach? You go to the Gottslow or Scarborough? I'd go to the Scarborough, I'd go to Gottslow, but what was important is that I could still see the re-actinter building. Because to me re-actinter, that signal fast-porn. As soon as I can see that re-actinter building, I was a lot very mad lad. Wow, wow. wow. Yeah, that's incredible. So you haven't got missing. You just moved to Brunswick, straight in Fitzroy. Because once you did know that my brother Sam, both of my brother Sam, they visited me last

week. So they are aware of where I am. Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot. But that's none of your business mock. I mean, you brought me here on this podcast the locate you're missing brother You visited him last week. Well, that's neither here nor there man. I think it is here No,. No. This is not a bloody walk in the park mark I'm aware I'm aware that it's not a walk in the park It's not a stroll while you roll

The bully pissing thing is in the moon. I will I will I'll watch it. I'm sorry I haven't I haven't said you're I'll watch it, I'm sorry, I haven't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't. I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't. I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't. I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't.

I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven, I haven, I haven't, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, haven, I haven, haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven, I am red disgrace by Brass couldn't could see Yeah, well look Sam's we want to thank you all so much Vaming is on the anti-dono podcast It's been a real trait He's coffee is quite sick It's good to know you said because he's been down the man's He's coffee. He's quite sick. I'm coffee. Sick boy. I'm the flu boys.

It's good to know you're sick. That's because he's been down the man's getting them blood diamonds. Yeah, getting those blood diamonds. Yeah, I love blood diamonds. Hey, if you guys want some blood diamonds for cheap, come around to the apartment. Can you do us a favor and just hide them in your goat when you sneak them across the border? I tell you what, move to Perth, they'll like, you weigh a lot and I was like,

that's mostly the diamonds of Mars. Yes, listen, this is the story, is a true story mark when I flew from Janisburg to Perth. Yeah. When I, I, I filled, I filled a water bottle filled with blood diamonds. Yeah. And I bought, I got to customs, I said, they said, what is it that, you know, Australian accent, they said,

what's in right bottle, you know, That's an excellent Australian accent. Very good. That's a fantastic accent. Well, I'm a dialect coach. Da-da. Okay. Asked me to do an accent.

Can you teach me how to do Jamaican? No. I just marked, before he finished his story, I want to tell you that for the time I lived in New Zealand, and that's why occasionally I slip into that accent. Okay, it's not because you're not fully across the South African accent. No, no, I watched a YouTube video before you called. Mark, it's because I lived in Wellington for about two years after Perth. Great I think there are some similarities but maybe that's just because I don't know the South African accent

or the New Zealand accent. Well that's where I sleep between the two anyway go on Sam. It was lovely to see you last week at the barbeque. Yeah I love the it in your house. You've got their brand-new street in Fitzroy. Yeah, Fitzroy. Yeah, Fitzroy. Near Bimbo's. Yeah, Fitzroy. Yeah. Great. And you know, if you're always welcome, I'll make you some sausages, like real Aussies. What is Gigi, man? You're Gigi, man. Yeah, you know, you can be Gigi here. You can't be locked that in South Africa. No, you can't. here. It can't be like that in South Africa No, you can't you'll get shot. Yeah, you get shot though say why are you being so cheap?

Well, thank you so much Sam I'm sorry. This was a bit of a waste of time Everyone was across where you were except for me. It seems to turns out that I was the fool Yeah, I know I just I just felt silly kind of saying that now. Having gotten so mad about it earlier. But I was there. We all knew where you were. I apologise. We'll see you next week. Bossam. Cheers. Bye. Well, there we have another case closed. Yeah. The case.

Yeah. Really what we should have done is probably just had a chat before we did the podcast and just gone. Oh yeah, that's so. Maybe that's easy for you walking around. Yeah. I guess that's why privileged here. Yeah.

We're also watching. Let me make that very clear. I know, that's not the thing. No, I'm not saying enough. Can I, and also I just want to ask you a quick question. Do I invoice you guys directly for this or do you want me to give you two weeks or rent? Obviously, I have to fly back to South Africa. I've got to go back to gemston. Why not stay here and work in Donkhafter? He thinks I make yourself a laugh, man. And you laugh.

There's lots of people getting murdered by their partners here. You can become private detective for them. Oh, good, good now. You're rip a board. Yeah. You're private detective skills. Your knowledge of the Jack Render. Your knowledge of the Cheetah. Yes. If I can follow Cheetah with the camera,

I can follow Cheating Spouse. Join us next week. Join us next week when Sam investigates the cheating spouses of Cape Town in the real cheating houses of Cape Town. Or just something completely different. Or probably something completely different because it's just a good game. It's probably Gordon Ramsay. Yeah, probably Gordon Ramsay podcast. Um, all right. That was fucked up.

That's a say. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.