Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 148 - Oprah's got a bit in Captain Planet part 2?

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Previously on the Antiton podcast, the boys were on a submarine and you should just go back and listen to that episode first. This is now five years later. The boys have been ashore for a while. As Zack suggested, it was a mirage.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I will set that up in there. Yeah. All right, then they are ashore. It is five years later. We'll switch. We'll switch shawr is five years later. They all we're sure it's five years later. Yes Five years later as well. We're positive. Yes. Yeah The boys all have beards. Oh, yeah great great big bushy great big beards. Yes I've I've fashioned
Starting point is 00:01:02 Some scissors out of crab claws where I've been keeping mine quite trim, but I won't share. The boys have not eaten for five years. I ate yesterday. I'm not talking about asshole. I have been eating my own asshole out of sexual pleasure. Can I just get some clarity on what happened to the arm and because I'm decent. The arm and croissant is long on even by a
Starting point is 00:01:30 gull. So we got the city. Have you mentioned that Zach has a dongle up his asshole? Zach very uncomfortable for the five years with a Telstra 4G dongle firmly up his asshole. But all the boys have forgotten about that dongle Check-ups gun even those that perpetually says I I there's a dongle of my ass and it's uncomfortable and I and on that I have check-ups gun up my asshole I have check-ups gun up my asshole That's very dangerous and that and mark loaded and mark has a very niche theater reference up his asshole hey hey
Starting point is 00:02:17 Check-ups gun up my asshole is not loaded, okay? Very good. Let's see what happens in part two of what you I think we're gonna have a rain I think we're gonna call it Oprah Oprah had a part on Captain planet part two I've got a part on Captain planet question mark part two What's part one called that part one one. Whoa, boys I'm so hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wah! So I'm just demonstrating the skills I've learned over the last five years. I've become lean, strong, a fisherman.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah, wah! You're a mean fishing machine and thanks to Zach, we're having all sorts of bountiful See food from food from the sea. Yeah, see food Yesterday we had crabs and scallops pretty sure we haven't eaten you Okay, have you ever seen hook have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? I've got the David there here if you want to watch it We've fashioned it out of coconuts. Yeah, we had a movie night last night and you didn't turn up and Zach and I were pretty pissed We I did gogg class style food with all the fishing crabs. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:03:35 Have you got better things to do you got the things on the island you got you got that tree you got to go fuck I'm so hungry. You mean I put on a I put on a whole spread for you have I ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook have whole spread for you. Have I ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have I ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have I ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook?
Starting point is 00:03:51 Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook?
Starting point is 00:03:59 Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? hook, what strange things happen watching round movie hoist, so what happens in the movie hook is Mollukins sitting around the table they're all hungry, they're all lost, they're all stubborn, so what do they do? They use their imaginations boys to fill their bowls
Starting point is 00:04:23 of yummy food and then they eat it up They slurp it up, but they're still very malnourished because they've ever seen hook Have you ever seen hook Michael Jackson wanted a part in hook but Steven Spielberg said no and he cast Robert Williams instead and then Michael Jackson put a curse on him This was a funny story about 10 years ago but now it's got darker under time. Wait, wait, Michael Jackson wanted to play Peter Pan or one of the lost boys. Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook?
Starting point is 00:04:59 Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? I was told we were doing it together. Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? I was told we're doing it. Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook? Let me tell you a story about hook. It started over millions in hook.
Starting point is 00:05:15 It was a financial flop at the time. One of the few flops in those days, directed by Steven Spielberg, that an Empire of the Sun. Have you ever seen Hook? He's made more sins. Have you ever seen Hook? As he's lost touch. Have you ever seen Hook?
Starting point is 00:05:34 Checking all the man. Yes, I've seen Hook. I got it from the shops. The blockbuster video. Got it with some hops in my beer. Yeah, I watched that movie. Yes, uh, did. It was very, very groovy to watch that movie. Yes, uh, did it was very very groovy
Starting point is 00:05:45 Do watch that movie very very groovy watching that movie. I felt very groovy. Have you ever seen hook? Have you? Have you ever seen hook? No, I haven't seen it either. Why do you reference that? I don't know I don't know. I think there's an island in it guys. I don't know why we're doing all this bickering. I've been training I've been training to be a master fisherman when there's a city with a jetty just down the beach. Why don't we get out? It was a mirage. Allo boys. Rips end with yellow. No, no. No, I'm someone else. Oh, okay. I'm different. I'm a person. I'm somewhere you fell on the island. My name's Coconut Cunt.
Starting point is 00:06:31 My name's Coconut Cunt. Met. That's right. My name's Coconut Cunt. You check it out. My mama fucking coconut. Fuck you up. You talk to me.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I'll fuck your shit up. Cut me open, drink out my milk, turn me into yogurt or oil. You know, put your cholesterol up if you have an incopy, your surrounds. My naturopath said to me, that coconut oil is the best for me, but then another doctor said to me, you shouldn't have so much coconut oil, I'm coconut. Have you ever seen hook? have you ever seen hook have you ever seen hook I'm coconut can't coconut can't yeah you have a natural there's a naturopath on this island because I've been I've got a really sick tummy from all the fish I've been
Starting point is 00:07:18 eating I come to me we'll go talk to the naturopath now she's great she's really sorted out my shit is this the your nat atropath now. She's great. She's really sorted out my shit. Is this the onatropath here? Yeah, my notropath here. It's a full shop and everything. Yeah, well, it's just, we're in Turkey. No, it's a Marage. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Hello. Hello there. It's how I eat today. Very well, thank you, natropath. What's your name? My name is Karen. My name's... Coconut, I can't.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Tell us about yourself, Karen. I name's Coker that can't Tell us about yourself Karen. I'm a naturopath No Karen Do it in song Okay, I read five seven eight nine Unfortunately you could put the beat on But I will just have a go. I've really got no I can't I've got very little sense of rhythm and I just have a go I just jump in and put the beat on I just jump I'll jump Karen. It's okay
Starting point is 00:08:07 I will Carried on the road Okay, I don't have a mouth or I don't have anything other than a husk I just and even I can rap to the beat just go for it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't say good Karen just have a go. I'm not worried about you Why are doubting yourself? It's not a doubt thing. I just physically am unable to wrap. But Karen, just give the vibe of a wrap.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I don't understand why you're blocking with that. Exactly. I'm not. No, I think Karen needs to just have a go. I need to know what you're saying. I have a go, Karen. Just have a go. Stop blocking, have a go.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Play the music. Play the musical. It's a medical disorder. I'm physically unable to wrap. You can make it sound like a wrap. Just talk like this. It doesn't really matter. It's a medical disorder. I physically unable to wrap you can make it sound like a rap just talk like this It doesn't really matter. It's not a rap, but if you talk like this. It sounds enough like a rap for comedy purposes I would love to do that Marvel anything hook
Starting point is 00:08:55 Hey, have you ever so seen hook. I'm sorry. It's a what's a like what no, I've seen hook you've seen hook. Yeah, what's it like? Hook the movie yeah, I saw it a long time ago. I was in it You were in you're in the movie I'm cooking out can't who are you in the movie? Wow coconut and I also play rufio No, you don't yeah, I don't I'm gonna Google that Sorry, let me just look at my dongle look at this a rufio As played by coconut can't. I don't know what Zach just said, something about a ponggle.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I'm just looking at my dongle to be cool. I'm not listening to you. Is this going online? Listen, naturopath. You can use my computer here if you want to. I'd love to. Listen, naturopath, it's been lovely talking to you and learning about some of the health things.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Have you noticed recently that a lot of Mark-based characters move to diet discussion? Yeah, I look I've been listening to the podcast and I have noticed that I'm gonna crack you open Okay, are you okay here? Everything's fine. I thought our sessions have been going wonderfully our sessions have been known Well my poo used to be water and now it's a bit more like nuggets. Listen, naturopath, unless you've got a big pizza for me, I'm starving.
Starting point is 00:10:08 We've been on this island for five years and I'm gonna get out of it. There's some left over fish in the fridge, bro. There's no food, there's no food. I guys have left over fish in the fridge. Listen, there is no food. If you want I can go online and order your pizza. No, there's no food. Do you know what the Italian translation for seafood is?
Starting point is 00:10:29 Fruit of the ocean beautiful beautiful. I Don't know what it is in Italian, but I know what the English translation of it is can I tell you? Fluttore the See see that's a lovely there is no that's fruits of the yes I've googled we Cookeye. We have to find food. Well, no, there's the fish in the fridge. She can order a sec. There's no fridge. Do you want to go to the shops?
Starting point is 00:10:50 We can go to the shops. What shops? The coconut shops. The coconut shops. There's a coconut here. We can eat the coconut in the first time. The coconut, I'm so worried. Don't eat me.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I'm not a coconut. Guys, I'm so sorry. I just want to hook back to this. I just googled Rufio Hook. And the actor that plays Rufio in the 1991 film Hook is Coconut Cunt. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I told you.
Starting point is 00:11:16 I'm so sorry. I always thought it was Dante, but uh, Basco. No. No. It's common confusion. We look very similar. He has sort of like a thick brown shell around him and some sort of hair's gonna and a sort of husk. And if you can't him open on the inside, he has sort of this like a white flesh.
Starting point is 00:11:35 So people quite often get me and Dante confused for each other, but I am coconut can't. Guys, I'm so hungry. Coconut can't be starting to look like a hamburger. I want to eat here. Brody, man, did you want a curly whirly? There's no curly whirly. I got a couple of curly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly whirly What, bonan? Have you ever seen the movie hook? Have you ever seen hook? Have you ever seen hook?
Starting point is 00:12:10 Yeah, cause in that movie the lost boys they want to make some noise. They go to have dinner, but thinner and then... Coconut, coconut kind of has a bit of a tile of the creative Well, if you're feeling a bit unwell a bit rattled, but I suggest drinking some coconut water. It is delicious and really What's that she just proposed cannibalibum cannibalibum yeah, dear you propose cannibalibum imagine coming up Brought and saying you got a sick tum drink some human blood. Well that wouldn't work wouldn't know the coconut water would work for that Yeah
Starting point is 00:12:55 It is true as as awful as it is killing other coconuts and drinking them when I've got a sore Tarmades the only thing that fixes it I find a little bit of coconut added to my delicious crab that I've caught makes a yummy meal. There's no food. There's no food. No, but we know there's no food. But have you ever seen the movie, Hawk? Have you? Have you seen it? Have you ever seen Hawk? No, I haven't.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Right. Let me ask. I actually have. I have. You have? I haven't. Everyone's seen Hawk. I've actually have, I have. You have? I haven't. Everyone's seen hook. I've seen it, but only like five or six months. Here's my question. Do you reckon Steven Spielberg's seen hook in the last 10 years?
Starting point is 00:13:35 We're on an island, Zach. I don't think that's the most important thing to be talking about right now. We've been here for five years. We're going to just think about a way to get off this island. I could dongle, I could connect with someone. I'll look in the description. I'll use Google Maps to find out where we are connected to someone, tell them.
Starting point is 00:13:51 All right, check if you have a dongle. That would be helpful. It was that, where are we on the podcast, Tom? Tom? We're too early for you to find the dongle, but now I... But now... My character knows I have that you have the dongle You could have been talking about hook and just missed it. No, I heard it. Okay. Let me try using the dongle now
Starting point is 00:14:17 I know I know it's gone too far up my We're going to have to shrink down to very small, go inside my asshole to retrieve the dongle. Let's do it. I just used a computer to figure out time travel. Oh my god. I solved it. I figured it out.
Starting point is 00:14:38 It's a shrinking. What? Shrinking. No, no, time travel. If you do want to shrink, I can recommend just smelling some of these flowers. Oh, I can wonderfully wealth This is I was not expecting any yes ends to this offer of oh King of going inside my ass. No, no, of course we can smell the flowers But then you know what else calls for drinking South back
Starting point is 00:14:59 General else causes shrinking is just getting into a cold pool So if we smell the flowers just getting into a cold pool. So if we smell the flowers, we get into a cold pool, then there will be shrinkage. There will be shrinkage. You can go to the water. No, yeah, no pool. Only the world's pool. The world's the most beautiful pool of the more. I like to call it the Pacific Ocean pool.
Starting point is 00:15:19 I was talking about the 50 meter wearer be pool. That's not here. That's a mirage. Fuck. The this lady here that I'm pointing to, the naturopath lady, a mirage. You, the talking coconut. I know.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Coconut. It's gone. Broden Kelly died three years ago. I did not. I did not. He's a mirage. I did not. I'm here, Zach.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Look. Have you ever seen Hulk? He is here. No, no. If you are having trouble with Mirage, I can recommend just eating some sand. That will really help you. Really?
Starting point is 00:15:54 Yeah. Really? Eating sand. Because Broden died three years ago. This is just a Mirage. Zach, I am not a Mirage. If only I'd learnt to fish earlier, then you would be well. I'm not dead. I'm a Raj. If only I'd learnt to fish earlier, then you would be well. I'm not dead.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I'm not dead. Oh, a Raj Brodin. Guys, you're so sweet. Just like the Brodin I remember. There is a 3PM session of hook screening at the lawn cinemas. Why don't we just stop all this fussing and effused and go and watch hook to get that? Mark, that's a great idea. Right, we used to when we first got here.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Mark, that's a great idea. That's a great idea, but we're trapped on this island. And the only way to get off this island is to go inside my asshole to retrieve the dongle to connect to the... Then over. A couple of things. There's no, we've never seen any movies here. Alright, not even Hook.
Starting point is 00:16:43 I am... Have you seen Hook? Have you seen any movies here. All right, not even Hook. I am, have you seen Hook? Have you seen Hook? So, in that movie, what the boys do is they use their imagination to make things happen that aren't really happening like food and movies too. They fly around and...
Starting point is 00:16:59 I was still a little bit, sorry. It wasn't a chuckle? That was like a burp, it was a burp. If you're having troubles with with gas and with burping up well Can I meet some gabascon on here? I can catch all the fish in the world. I can't find an antacid I'm just god for sake. I'm not natural a natural remedy. You're a mirage. You're a mirage You only know what I know. What is it? What is the what is the remedy? The natural remedy is You only know what I know. What is it?
Starting point is 00:17:22 What is the remedy? The natural remedy is drinking a glass of soft drink very quickly. I don't have soft drink. I don't know, get some. We could make sunkis. We could find oranges. There's no oranges on this island. Let me make the orange.
Starting point is 00:17:38 You're a Mirage II can. I'm going to say this one more time. There's no food here. There's the fishes in the fridge. There's no fish. I cooked them over the fire. I learned how to cook make a fire. I've learned how to fish. I've learned rudimentary dentistry skills. Remember when I removed your tooth? Yeah rudimentary. Part of this is rudimentary. I think you're being a rude boy. I'm not a Marage, that's the other thing I wanted to say. Marage is not a mirage and you died
Starting point is 00:18:28 Three years ago because you used to come to my dinner party guys We can keep fighting you're all my mirage. We can keep fighting. We can keep arguing. Let's just go for a drive down the Great Ocean road Fair enough. I'll get in the kid the car. Sometimes good to go for wait a minute. What? There's no car. It was a mirage. It's not a mirage. We're using it. Have you ever seen hook? Wait a second. So yeah, so in that movie. No, no, I've not Well, I got a question. Can Mirage just get Mirages? Are you having a Mirage right now? No, because I'm a Raj Just because you say I'm a room Mirage. You're a Mirage. I am not a man. I saw you die. I buried you myself. All right, Tom, you're in this but not in world. Is that correct? Correct.
Starting point is 00:19:13 As a Mirage. No, he's in this but not in world. So he's back in Melbourne, Australia. Yeah, I'm having a Mirage of Tom recording a podcast. It's different. A Mirage is you dehydrated scene shit Wobbly shit. I think people have extit people have taken the wobbly Effect of a mirage and mistaken it for hallucination or a ghost. Oh, no Tom or a naturopath Tom Tom, yeah, set a little bit Tom. All right. All right. Am I a mirage? No. Yeah, can't mirage would say that set Oh Tom might be a mirage. Yeah, I said that you're all right. He's no mirage Tom. Yeah, settle a bit All right. Have you ever seen hook? I
Starting point is 00:19:58 Can't remember ever seen hook see naturopath See how easy that is I physically I'm unable to do that I'm not you're doing it now. That's all I've ever dreamed of We Friends I've done so many things to try and learn how to wrap I beat Have you ever seen hook? Yeah. I've done so many things to try and learn how to wrap. I've eaten a whole ton of this. Have you ever seen hook?
Starting point is 00:20:26 Yeah. I've had a glass of water. Yeah, but have you ever seen hook? I haven't seen hook, but I have drunk unpasturized milk. And I think that's very similar. All right, so we got, I got one, two, three, four marigers right now. No, I have if I count Mark two, three, four marigers right now. No, if I count Mark and Coconut is two separate marigers.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Coconut, Cuts not a marigers. She's just popped off for a bit. Mark has worked out how to shrink his whole down. I say we all shrink down and we do myself. We don't go into that. We all shrink down and after this short break, we go into my asshole. Bang!
Starting point is 00:21:07 So that was the gun up my asshole going off. And now we'll do the short break. And we're back. Very smooth. So what was the gun went off in your asshole before the break? Yeah Yeah, but I'm I'd say okay the barrel was pointing out of the ass hole, so it just got a bit hot. It sounds like me after Mexican. Very good. I can recommend if you do have any internal bleeding, drinking seawater is a fantastic seawater.
Starting point is 00:21:38 It's a fantastic reminiscence. It's a marage. It's a pain in the ass. Yeah. So you're seeing the marage as well. Well, I suppose so because you have my mind. No! I'm not gay girl, I'm a pain in the ass. So you're seeing the Mirage as well. Well, I suppose so because you have my mind. No, I'm not a Mirage. Well, but we don't know that.
Starting point is 00:21:51 I'm even starting to question whether I am a Mirage or not, even though I know I'm not. Well, you're a talkie because, are you Mark? No, I'm Mark. Mark has gone five, six years ago. Yeah, and he's come back as a Mirage. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Cool, go on. Very good. Well, come back as a morage. Oh, okay. Cool going. That's well So I'm I'm a morage and I know I'm a Raj, but even I'm starting to question whether I'm a morage or not because I feel like Zach is Mirage lighting us which is like gaslight, but it's morage and it's more He's telling me I'm a morage, but I'm very stern. I could use a Tell me a memory of your self that I wouldn't know. That time that I was in a play called the Incasarator. I was in that play with you. Tell me another one. Big deal.
Starting point is 00:22:39 That time that I loved that show by the way. I was in the time. I texted that show one night. It was a good show. Incasarator. That was I love that show by the way that uh well I was I'm the tech to that show one night It's a good show in carcerator At the revolts the other space anyway, I've got heaps of memories like when I went to that 21st in the Lutro Valley That was my 21st that's where Zach grew up was the Lutro Valley Yeah, it was his 21st, right? I just really I know I remember is are you my Mirage? Oh?
Starting point is 00:23:04 No, I'm not a Mirage another one the I remember this. Are you my Marage? Oh, no. I'm not a Marage. Another one. The first time I went to Edinburgh to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Bro, I was there with you. The only issue with this test is I don't think we've been apart. 12 years. 12 years.
Starting point is 00:23:20 The time when I went to Ballarat University. Bro, I was at Ballarat University. What about this. Brian, I was at Ballarat University. What about in year seven when I was, when to Vibhank College? I know that fact. I could have inserted it into your brain, like the butter into the skin of a roast chicken. Well, the fact that when you're asleep,
Starting point is 00:23:39 I've crawled up your ass and got your dongle and threw it into the ocean. Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a second. up your ass and got your dongle and threw it into the ocean. Oh. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Back up a second.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Have you ever seen Hook? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in mine, area, and I got mum weeklies, I borrowed some videos, one of them was hook. Yes, it was dinner week cooked, spaghetti on rice. It was a lot of carbs. Yes, and then I watched hook, and that whole film was about capturing your childhood, and I was 12, and I was like, I got my childhood. Sorry, sorry, gonna need a little bit to a part of that, rap. What was spaghetti on rice? Spaghetti on rice. Yeah, tell me about that. Let's I never had spaghetti on rice. Is that for the rhyme? Yeah No, I think you'll find it in rhyme. It was just what came to my head It is if you are 12 years old and you're interested in turning 13 Spaghetti on rice can really help with that. Fucking do a rap. If you listen back.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Fucking do a rap. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Do a fucking rap. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just I'm not a moron. If you listen back to the rap you'll hear that I say spaghetti on rice. That's too many carbs Yeah, you too many carbs, but you maybe someone who's running a marathon the next day What are you visualizing when you imagine spaghetti on rice? Is it just spaghetti or the source is it like? Yeah, can we all go around a circle?
Starting point is 00:25:22 Because I have a very very specific It is the best time spent. We're gonna die on this island. No, no, no Sheplendiple I have a dongle at my asshole. No, I threw that into the ocean. I'm that's why I killed you three years ago This Mirage is my guilt now that's natural. It's or just Sam. I'm happy for it to just be Sam That's natural. Or just Sam. I'm happy for it to just be Sam. Sam. Are we out of world?
Starting point is 00:25:47 Out of world, okay. When Broden said spaghetti on rice, what did you see in your hand? Okay, so I see. So, naturopath can answer this. No, I see specifically some of the fridge, they've opened up and there's two leftover containers. One is rice, just plain rice, one is plain spaghetti. What kind of rice? It's white, medium-grade.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Medium-grade, medium-grade. And then the spaghetti is just a spaghetti, like a San Remo. What if we made a fire, so if any passing planes would see? Shut up. And then we've taken the rice and they've put it into the white microwave container we have. We put it on the bottom and they've taken the spaghetti on top. Is it a sauce with the spaghetti or no?
Starting point is 00:26:28 No. No. Okay. All right. Okay. And they've taken that and then put that into the microwave. Heard that for three, four minutes and then had it eat. I was thinking like a fried rice cake.
Starting point is 00:26:38 But then that made me think of just a sandwich. So I thought he was saying spaghetti on rye. Oh, rye. Like rye bread. That's thought he was saying spaghetti on rye. Oh, rye. Like rye bread, that's what I was thinking. Or like spaghetti sandwich with rice crackers. Yeah, correct. For me, I was imagining spaghetti bolonais,
Starting point is 00:26:55 freshly cooked spaghetti bolonais, a top some freshly cooked white medium grain rice. So it was sort of the white medium grain rice at the bottom of the bowl. And then then a then a so the sauce has been mixed with the spaghetti that's put on top and then another spoonful of bolognese on top. Yeah, maybe some parmesan. I didn't see parmesan. So I saw like a white bowl right it was in a white bowl like a ceramic bowl. Guys, please, we're going to die on this island. I know and you need some fish Hopefully we'll die right after I'm finished explaining my spaghetti on rice
Starting point is 00:27:36 So the rice that I saw was like a claggy. You know when you try and use the absorb absorption method with rice With a jasmine rice and then on top of that the tinned SPC spaghetti I was wondering if anyone saw that's exactly what I saw when he said Spaghetti on rice. You know Mark interesting fact. I was tossing up between the two But I did see a fresh bolognese. Yeah, but one thing I would say is my rice was a little overdone Just a little glugging. Yeah, it's a little glugging not too much You'd almost say this is my friend. Come on guys Let's bend together. I just I just want to say You're a marage and you fucking you got rid of me check off's gun. So don't come at me come
Starting point is 00:28:13 I just I would just have to say if you're listening to his at home I would love to know what you saw when you saw this spaghetti on the rice Yeah, you could specifically go to the Instagram video about this podcast and comment there If you could specifically go to the Instagram video about this podcast and comment there What's the deal on rice are you? Specifically the ins for yeah, we don't want to be jumping between Instagram Twitter Also, let us know whether it was hot or cold. My mind was cold. Nothing in my bowl was hot. My my not a journey Guys shut the fuck up all right shut the fuck up this marajor's got some real attitude problems. Well, this is my attitude problems. This is the twist This is my shit that I need to deal with everyone shut up
Starting point is 00:28:53 It was steamed rice Like from a steamer like a like you get at a Thai restaurant Like you know like beautiful steam rice and then yesterday's bag bowl So it's not only mixed through with steam rice and then yesterday's spag bowl. So it's not only mixed through with, it's not only mixed through and sort of, you know, I would say I was the closest there. I saw, I saw I'm nicely steamed rice, slightly over done, but nicely steamed and and a full spag bowl. So I would say I win this one. I don't think there's a right or wrong here and I think it's because right toast over here, right toast, can Carter, he loses. We can all agree on that.
Starting point is 00:29:25 But actually, here's the most delicious vision. I think what his brain did was he went spaghetti on rice doesn't work, but spaghetti on rye. Now that's a delicious sandwich. So we have any chef fans, like real proper chef fans? We got one that guy in Philadelphia who's a wonderful. Oh yeah, and we've had someone who's written a cookbook, give us a cookbook in Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Oh my God, of course, that was a great cookbook. But now we'll never see them again on this island. Well, sorry, but what I would love is if you are a sh**. Well, I just want to know a second, just one second, can we get someone to make a good spaghetti on rice? If we could get a recipe for spaghetti on rice, that works. And you're allowed to push the definition a little bit
Starting point is 00:30:06 Yeah, I would love to see that you I just want to know one thing why you keep fucking pushing this island idea in the middle of us spaghetti on rice conversations because you are Your hallucinators. It just feels like we're doing a podcast about spaghetti on a podcast about spaghetti I'm about like a double carb podcast and for some reason every now and then you're just going we're on a No, it makes me think that You've never seen hook Because have you ever seen hook yet yet yet yet have you ever seen hook the movie hook?
Starting point is 00:30:45 I've not not only have I said no I haven't I've gone back and actually I have a couple of times Oh, you know I've seen hook. Um, I can't remember if I've seen it or not I've seen hook Does anyone get a rap hook and let me tell you I'm gonna do spoken word Every boy and girl wants to watch hook. Hook. They haven't seen it yet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Because they don't watch television. They turn on their Netflix. They turn on the search. They put in hook. Hook. But it's not there So they watch the movie right as of the lost arc instead You know one thing I want to say about hook
Starting point is 00:31:38 Hook is a movie not a book hook Hook Hook that's it. I'm done. Um, what if what if he said spaghetti of rice? So it's like a spaghetti made of rice like a all like a rice spaghetti. Yeah, like a rice rice. I'm on stand mood almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Just could be interesting. Wait, hooks on stand? Yeah, bro. Pull that up on stand. Wait, Broden, you have the internet? No. No, I don't. No, I think there's just there's good stand here. It's got in the end, but that's not internet No, that is internet, bro, then oh All right, I'll email
Starting point is 00:32:17 Border patrol. What do you say we watch hook? I would love to watch hook, but before we do I Want to just tell all of you boys even though you're all dead But I love you. I love you too and you're my favorite marrages that I've ever known and my apartment back home I have mba direct to my premises everyone at home start All right, we're gonna press play on hook and you're gonna watch book live with this on this podcast in 3 2 1 All right here we are watching hook all right so this is now a hook starts to comment to the series you started 21 seconds in by the way you gotta go back to the start right start your stop hook your hook and bear in mind this is all a Mirage hook, so it's actually just Zack's memory.
Starting point is 00:33:05 We're back to the start. 3, 2, 1, play. Alright. But the reason I wasn't too officious about that cut is because we're not going to watch all of hook. If you're not too officious, why do you do a 3, 2, 1? Like, just watch it now and just play it. Guys, there's a lot of aggression here and considering you're all my marages I feel like it's my job to reel this in
Starting point is 00:33:28 Are you going to reel it in? Yes, I just did my mind in my heart. I'm just I'm just about bringing some positive energy There is one I don't need to say anything to you because you're my marage. There's one problem. I'm not a mirage Bro, don't tell me one thing problem. I'm not a mirage. Bro, tell me one thing. What's one thing you've done away from me that is physical ever? You're a mirage. Tell him a secret. Tell him a secret that nobody but Broden the Mirage knows. I told him I took his dongla and threw it over in the river. Yeah, but you did that when you were alive and then I murdered you. That was a twist. I murdered you. And how I know you're dead. Yeah, but you did that when you were alive and then I murdered you. That was a twist. I murdered you.
Starting point is 00:34:05 And that's how I know you're dead. Yeah, remember you. Guys, so just anyone who is watching hook, uh, they, they, there's a play of Peter Pan happening. A play. Peter Pan started as a play. No, Robin Williams is Peter Pan. Yeah, but Peter Pan started as a play.
Starting point is 00:34:20 No, no, no, no. I don't think you're on the stand. You haven't seen hook. You clearly haven't seen hook. Me. Yeah. Do you know Michael Jackson was going to be in hook? Yeah, I did know that. Yeah. I told you that earlier in this podcast. What a dodged bullet. I don't think you did. Here's my question. Just a quick question. We can keep talking about hook. But do you want to pause it for a second? Can you just pause it for a second? Great. So if everyone else can pause it for a second, say that it'd be great.
Starting point is 00:34:41 You just pause it for a second? Great. So if everyone else can pause it for a second too, that'd be great. Do we want to wrap up this podcast? Because we can get a do-s-x Mac and they're in here, just a plain flies pass. I'll wave it down. Or do we want to do part three?
Starting point is 00:34:55 No, no, I want to get off this island. But like out of will, do we want to wrap this up? Because I just, we can keep chatting. And I'll organize that do-s-x Mac and I. That's what we talk. Organize the do-s-x Mac and I'll organize that juice x mac and We talk organized the do a sex mac and I think this is I Think this is run out of steam, okay, okay, so oh, we're talking about hook you getting some aeroplane sandpaper Scroding I was trying to find one this is a guy teaching how to fly a sessner. Oh, it's not good like just do aeroplane sand In fact, it doesn't matter what it is. No, I think it should be a sessner. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:25 You ready? Oh, so we're all watching. For those who don't know planes, a sessner is one of them single prop, like a little bit. But it's just a shame. It's a shame, I just want to say. Oh, you're sure? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:37 It's a shame that I introduced to check off's gun, and we have to now result to a doer's ex-macかな. That is a shame. But I liked the twist that you you threw it out and then I Should man it's you I'm a mirage that's oh I knew it and finally hit mitz it. I fucking chopped off his head and buried his body of course I know you're a mirage. I just want to say I'm the one who introduced check of scum lit okay, oh look a plane
Starting point is 00:36:06 Say is wave down the plane do we do we want to just end on the image of us waving down the plane or should he land and told isn't it? Isn't it just you oh? It is just me. Oh plane plane plane plane and then now I'm back in America He's doing laps a plane plane now. I'm back in America. These do it laps. A plane, plane. Now I'm back in America. And look at all this plentiful bounty.
Starting point is 00:36:31 What a crab leg. You can make fire with a little fire stick. I could do all of these things. I should turn off the big one. I was a master fisherman. But the metaphor is how much we take the seafood on the inside. Zach, don't look. What is it?
Starting point is 00:36:46 Helen hunt is at the party. Oh My god Helen hunt who wants to play Helen hunt? No one. Thank you so much. Hi. Hi Helen hunt. I'm Helen hunt um I I'm fucking someone else like Bill Paxden or something. You fucking Bill Paxden? I don't know of it, Tim. I don't even know if you clearly see who I'm fucking.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Helen Hunt. Helen, I need to tell you something. I was going to tell you something live you used. Yeah. I saw a marajor Broden after I murdered him, chopped off his head. That's true. I have something for you. Oh, hello. Hey, he's my headless's true. I, I, I have something. Oh, you're back. Oh, hello.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Hey, he's my headless Broden. Broden, my guilt. And you look like you've lost weight. You can see him too. Yeah, about seven to eight kilos of head. Yeah. Um, I have something to tell you. I'm Helen Han.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Mm-hmm. But that name may sound familiar to you. Ah, because because actually I'm coconut can boys I thought I left you on the and that's your here to I thought because hunt and can't yeah I thought that I left you on the island but you know what you know do go on do go on
Starting point is 00:38:01 bleep the word can't on their podcast really nice that they do. That's a lot of effort. Eye responses or? It's because they think that Americans are offended by that word. And they are. Because it's a very offensive word in America. Boys, I thought I left the Mirages on the island.
Starting point is 00:38:22 But it turns out a Mirage is in the heart. Come, check out my one bedroom apartment that I live in now. The government gave it to me because they felt sorry for me for being on an island through. If you're lonely, a great cure for that is masturbation. There you go, and that's from a naturopath. Turns out all the sex I was having with you guys was masturbation all along me the Brod in Mirage I moved San Francisco got myself a job at a Starbucks making coffee there sometimes tea me Helen Hunt I went on to star in movies such as Twister and what women want what women want and the hits sitcom mad about you which is
Starting point is 00:39:06 Do you for a return? It is coming back. It is coming back on a weird platform. It's hard being a woman in Hollywood It feels like once you reach a certain age What I was hoping someone would cut me off Me carrying the naturopath I ended up giving some naturopath advice to people who are really sick and they all die. Okay. Tom, Mirage, Tom, I forgot about you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:34 What happened to you? This is all in my head, so, you know. I got sick and died. And me, Zach, they found out that I chopped off Brode 10, but they felt bad for me because I was on an island and because you threw away my shit. By the way, if you are listening to Turnoff Hook, we're not coming back. I was the A-Stop Hook. Stop Hook. So I went to jail for three years, two years with Pearl when I got out uh... Broden's dead. No one got a dead.
Starting point is 00:40:07 I said it in Go to jail for three years. I went, it was a sentence for three. You got a sentence for three. Good behavior two years. When I got back, Broden's dad killed me. What? Broden's dad killed me. He was mad at me for killing Broden.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Wayne. Yeah, but I was like, Broden's daddy threw the dongle in the ocean. I told him not to. Yeah, right. But he was a Marage, so I was like bro. He's daddy threw the dongle in the ocean. I told him not to Yeah, right, but he was a Mirage so Wayne could near him on there Wayne stabbing me and bro It's like Wayne stop stabbing Zach and I'm like he can't hear you my Mirage Also, he wouldn't care what you have to say because you're not really and also how's he talking his his neck This sort of just like the
Starting point is 00:40:42 He's talking his neck this sort of just like Got it! He didn't have a neck flapping No, but I'm holding it under my arm Oh, right Like a haunted ghoul But it's just a trick so what the Mirage has done is I actually have a head Yeah right, it's like a Halloween costume where my head is higher Yeah and I put my head so it's under a fake arm You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:59 The twist mark It's not real The twist is he is my guild Does that make sense what I'm saying saying? Yeah, I see it very clearly So it's a numerologist nobody wants to keep the memory of Yeah, and the head is just a very badly plastic. It's my head The costume is yeah Fake shoulders and fake it's like it's almost like he's like
Starting point is 00:41:23 Seven foot tall like it takes quite a lot to yeah So let me tell you I don't go to the beach anymore Why not cuz I'm afraid of the beach cuz I'm because I murdered my friend there and now I was a bad man I spent all that time in Turkey, but I'm really good at fishing band and all that time and talk but I'm really good at fishing Story that is a gorgeous story is this finding Nemo is his Thomas Newman So he did the music for finding Nemo. Yes, but is this from finding Nemo? It's Thomas Newman. No, no, okay Broden listen to what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:42:06 Yeah, I know you Google Thomas Newman One hour of ocean with Thomas Newman Right, but is this track from the finding Nemo soundtrack? Thomas Newman, yeah that's not what I'm asking We've established through the artisers I just want to know if this piece of music is in the film Finding Nemo
Starting point is 00:42:24 It's called High-Coo Google it I've found that if you want to know if something's from finding Nemo. It's called High-Coo Google it. I've found that if you want to know something's from finding Nemo or not you can get a knife and stab yourself in the neck. He's a great person. That's what Dr. Zappos is doing. Sam's doing a naturopath thing. Sam's anti-herbal remedies. I really like. No, no, they're fantastic. Okay, he's doing character. Oh, yes, who said that the naturopath? Thank you so much Hi koo song by Thomas Newman from the Finding Nemo score track 28 So don't fucking come at me with this fucking Thomas Newman bullshit, but it is when I I
Starting point is 00:43:00 Know picks are so well. You give me a word. I can tell you whether it's in a Pixar movie. And... That is definitely in every f- What? Check out our um... new web series on... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 00:43:16 ... It could be a good point to end. What's that? Oh, sorry, I missed that. Not to- Go, no, we'll end there. You're still talking to your Maraji. Look, Sam did a. Not so far. No, we'll end there. You're still talking to your Mirage, you know? Look, Sam did a thing with his hands, where he was like,
Starting point is 00:43:28 in there, that's a funny endpoint, but then we can go. I was about to make a joke, because I know. Oh, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. Sam and his naturopath. Oh, I thought you did it. And, well, this is going really downhill. Okay, let's pick it back up.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Let's pick it back up. A just want you Mirage is to know That that's the oddest bit of our cast. I think it's everything. I love you And you was the ones that got me through my island time, but you killed me And you're an insane person you're a murderer and you're and you're a literal fucking you're gonna go to my sleep he shoved his hand in my asshole Took my ticket You had a dongle you had an internet dongle. No, I'm sorry. You had an internet dongle that could have saved us all Yeah hiding in your asshole that you were keeping to yourself all my shit looks like donuts Thank you so much for joining us on the Anti-Donna podcast.
Starting point is 00:44:26 When it's... Sam, what was your joke? Sorry, you go, bro. When it's underscored by Thomas Newman Music, that sounds beautiful. And all my shit's looked like donuts. And every time I did a non-donut log shit, I thought about that dongle and how Broden stole it from my very soul So I chopped off he said have you ever seen the footage of
Starting point is 00:44:51 Bear grills picking up elephant shit Squeezing it to get the water out. Yeah, no drinking it. Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah That is an image that has not left my mind for maybe 10 years That is an image that has not left my mind for maybe 10 years. Can I say, Broden, I didn't resort to cannibalism because I was already quite a good fisherman at that point. So I just know that. Okay, but did you do anything else with the body? No, no, I don't want to leave that ambiguous.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Thank you so much for tuning in. These two episodes were written by Playride, Jonathan Winterson. This was his, you know, cost of 20 grandfingers, right? These two episodes, but these were all scripted We did get John August to punch it up a little He came in and we got the guy a childish Gambino. What's his name? Donald Glover he came in for two days and just recommend donna Glover not donna Glover Donald Donald Donald Glover came in for two days and he just punched up some gags
Starting point is 00:46:02 He just said maybe you could try this, maybe you could try that. Fun fact, his last name, he used to be a Glover, so he would get a glove that would fit your hand. God, he is a modern day Renee, so long as I'm here. Anyway, thanks so much for tuning in, bye-bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.
Starting point is 00:46:25 I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.

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