Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast EP 153 - Edgy Theatre

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello! I'm Coulier! Hello! Well, that's how we've opened every podcast since the start with the big hello! From all three of us. So, I don't...

It doesn't seem weird to me to do that to open the the just a regular run of the mill podcast with the way that we open all of our podcasts. Welcome to the anti-donna podcast. Welcome. Now normally normally our podcast is all about delivering the days news in accessible 15 minute bites at 7 a.m. But today we'll be changing things up a little bit. What is that? What was that reference? It's a new product from Swartz Media 710. Oh, I thought you were taking a little stab at the project. Not a stab.

No, 7 p.m. 7 a.m. It's a different podcast. Well, you used to be called the 7 p.m. It was meant to just be a throw away, with've dealt with a little date. It's great podcast. Let's do a deep dive on this. Let's have a listen. If you just want to get that little nugget of info in the morning about the days news. And if you want to do a deep dive into the making of one of the biggest films of all-time

Star Wars, listen to Inside Star Wars by Wondry. Now available, we're all good podcasts. I'm listening to it at the moment I'm having a really great time Brody's just gonna play some of 7 a.m From Schwartz media. I'm Elizabeth Kolas. This is 7 a.m. There you go Was listening until at this morning this seems nice it is dominated by concerns over press freedom Press freedom boring no no, it's Sorry, I just got a real fucking board. Well, some people think some people here think it's kind of cool to stay informed, ma. Well, some people are fucking dumb cunts.

Okay. All right. Anyway, um, wow. Okay. Okay. Wow. Well, I didn't mean that. Oh, that was really hurtful, ma. No, some people are dumb cunts. That's a fact of life. I didn't say that you That was really hurt for me. Some people are dumb cunts, that's a fact of life. I didn't say that you were one of those people. Are you saying Brodyns are dumb cunts? No, no, no. I'm saying. Tom is a dumb cunt.

Tom is a dumb cunt. Yeah, Tom is a dumb cunt. Tom is one of the dumbest cunts I've ever seen. It's hard to look past his dumb country. Um, friend, I went to anyone listening to their first anti-donna podcast. Maybe you're right. This is our lot of people this year. Yeah.

This would be a lot of first people's anti-donna podcast. If this is your first podcast listening to this one. If this is your first podcast, don't listen. Listen to... Oh yeah, and this is not what other podcasts are like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't like podcasts, but I have been listening to this podcast by this company called Wondry, and at their half hour, they're non-linear storytelling really highly produced with like,

they recreate scenes between people and they have music, and he said to me, what you've just described are podcasts, and I think you like podcasts, because a lot of podcasts are like that. I thought podcasts were just people rambling of a couple of each other talking about comic books. Three men yelling at each other. Yeah.

And occasionally bringing on a guess that gets a little intimidated. I thought this was podcasts. This is not podcasts. This is not a podcast. Well, that's the thing. If you, someone said make food and you never eaten food before, you'd probably make bad food.

You had a beer trim. He did. You did, you look great, bro. It looks really nice. You look really nice. Did you go to the media? I just want you to know that I noticed, I want you to know that I'm always thinking about you.

And I know you've had a haircut, but you're wearing a hat. So you can't tell her So that's why I didn't tell immediately So how well defined your chin was and I thought well, Broden's chin is looking well defined Broden's got this is a fun fact for everyone at home. Broden's got a strong chin under the beard So he doesn't need the beard. He's doing it for a choice unlike me. I'm no you've got quite a No, no, I don't have a strong beard at all.

I have quite a, I've put a strong beard. Oh, you fucking. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, fuck out. You got me. I have a strong beard, but I don't have a strong chin, chin. I'm just trying to get through this sentence. I don't think I have a strong chin because I have big features, like big lips and a big nose.

No, no, no, no. I mean, you don't have a strong chin. It means you have strong other features in a normal chin. I have normal features and a weak chin. Well, a little greater disagree. Okay. Because I think you have a marvelous chin. I don't think you've ever seen that. I think yours is the kind of chin

that would inspire a roll dial novel. Zach and the miraculous chin. I don't have a good chin. I don't have you've ever seen that. I think yours is the kind of chin that would inspire a rolled dial novel. Zach and the miraculous chin. I don't have a good chin. I don't have a good chin and that's okay. That's okay. Last year I was in a television show where I played a real person. I forget the guy's name.

By. I'm a shenanity. No, that was their show, but the character was a man from... Greg or Bob or something John or Stanley stuffy like yeah, I bloke Stubby Stunner like I don't know I played a real person and that real person didn't have a beard

So I had to go and get my beard removed. Yeah, yeah, it was so upsetting really I really hated it you looked Wonderful on my knee. No, I watched it on my lips naked I did that's just how I watched TV that had nothing to do with the fact that you were It's had shaved for the part and that I was getting to see you finally But I took a photo of myself without a beard If you want to see it tweet, I need Donna, say, show me that beard, let's broaden. Yeah, I can do the same.

I think it's my beard, and they made me shave my beard in third year. Well, that sounds like they care. They made you shave your head. No, I did that. I did it before they made me do it. Did you shave your head for that? No. No. No, refused.

These boys did a rendition, if you will. Would you guys like to hear me do some of much of your about nothing? Oh, yeah, do you have it? Oh, of course you do. I have it. All up here. You're going to pull up footage from it. I don't know if it's... Zach and Broden were in a 30 year production at the University of Belgrade Art Academy.

Much ado about nothing with nothing. Nothing. Nothing, nothing. It was set in space. It was set in space. And it was about, if you don't know the story of much, you do about nothing. It's about the main character, Burnett, what's his name? George Bernard Shaw.

George Bernard Shaw, trying to get a threesome. And well, that was my interpretation of the work. Do you want me to do a speech from it now? I'm going to make everyone listening appreciate Shakespeare. All right, you'll hear it like you've never heard of. And that's a tough job for an actor to do, but I believe that you can do it. Can you do it? Sure, this is the joke you're going to go for anyway, but like a British actor doing it in

an interview. You know, like when Anthony hopped. Oh, yeah. To be or not to be. Yeah, I'll do it like that. So it was more of a Ian McCallan. This is a scene from much you do about nothing, where Benedict, a soldier, is this a good podcast? The man, man we'll find out. I do, it's talking to Claudio, and for me Claudio is Sam

because Sam was in our acting year level and Sam played the young heartthrob Claudio. And everyone wanted to fuck Sam. Who was your clone, Sam? Sam's in therob Claudio and everyone wanted to fuck Sam. Who was your clone, Sam? Sam's in the room. Mr. Jelce Meany. Oh yes, that's right, Mr. Jelce Meany. So this is a seat now, probably need to explain,

because our cast was too big and probably for some creative reasons, but mainly because our cast was too big, every, pretty much every character had a clone. Was it in the future? Creatively it worked, except for one small factor. But Broden didn't have a clone. Broden didn't have a clone, and the woman he was pursuing had a clone.

So at the end, when he married two women, I was like, oh, he's just been chasing that threesome. Not a short one. That's why I didn't mean much to do about nothing, is about he's just been chasing that threesome. That's why I didn't mean much about nothing is about a man trying to get a threesome because it's the only production I've seen. You didn't have to study it in grade eight? No, not this study, the Kenneth Brenner version in grade eight. Anyway, here's act three, scene three, maybe act two, scene three. Is this a moot? Tis good sir. Sorry, I'm just getting in the character. No, that makes sense. That was good

What was great about that was you said tears good sir, which is Shakespearean language, but I understood every word Yeah, it means it is mark. Yeah I Do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love will after he had laughed at such shallow follies and others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love. And such a man is Claudio. Do you see?

Wow. That was beautiful. Did that bring you back? I'll read the rest on our Patreon. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah, the Rotomall read the rest of the play playing all of the characters as promised because on Patreon,

when you hear that kind of speech, when you hear that kind of speech, you are taken somewhere else. And I'm gonna give that to our patrons. Could you do that speech again and just as an exercise to show sort of how transcendent Shakespeare is because some would argue that Shakespeare invented rap And so I was wondering Um, and so I was wondering if you could maybe do that same speech, but in the style of a rap. Sure, sure. Okay.

Like a gangster. Yeah, yeah, because I think it's fair to say that Shakespeare, a white man from England, invented rap. All right, great. Okay. Yo, I do much wanted the one man man seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love. Well, after he has laughed at such shy lovelies

and others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love. It's such a man is clueless. Yo, fear. We love our viewers and we know that we've been getting a lot of since the Glen Ridge Secondary College series. A few younger viewers, who have been watching and we want to send positive messages to those people. And I think what they won't realize a lot of our younger listeners and that's why I was performing Shakespeare is because we are all trained performers

We all went to the University of Ballarat Arts Academy. We all learn how to move our bodies We learned how to use height and speech. We learned how to do the modern plays Remember waterfront Still But we also learn that's cat on a heart 10 well It's not That's it's not stellar That's, it's not. Stella.

Yeah, it's not Katana Hot 10 roof at all. No, but it's not on the waterfront. No, on the waterfront either. No, it's. The other one. Stella, it fuck, what is that? No, you see Mark, it is not Katana Hot 10 roof. Well, I know it's not Katana Hot 10 roof.

It's not Katana Hot 10 roof. It's not Katana Hot 10 roof. All right, what's Katana hot in roof? Katana hot in roof is Another play Tennessee Williams hot outside Yeah, that's Stella that's that's cat in a hot in room Stella can't you hear me? Oh, maybe it is. Stella, Stella, can't you hear me, yellow?

Stella! Stereka name. Yeah, Stereka name desire. So, so that was not Kat on a hot tin. No, no, no, no. All of that was what you just did was, that's why I got Constreetka name design. Stereka name desire.

Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. What? No, weren't you just saying, no, no, no, Marge did Kat on a hot tin roof saying no, no, no, no. Marge did cat on a hot tin roof. Yeah. No, no, I was saying Stella. I was saying no.

What's the one that Marge did? That's Stella. I was trying to think of the name like that. Oh, right. But look, the bottom line is where actors. Very good actors. Who know our works, who know plays, and I know where things are from. I've read a play called Shopping and Fucking.

That's a real play. That's a play and it's rude. Edgy. It's edgy. People think that theater is for oldies and boring, but actually some theater is edgy. It cut you like a knife. People think theater, edgy theater is for just,

you know, that doesn't exist, you know. And they think they go to theater, it's just old ducks. But some plays are for 41-year-olds. Read a play by Neil LeBout. Oh man, he is, and tell me that you don't bleed. The thing about theater is when cinema came along, they were like, theater's dead, but it didn't die. No.

Read a play by Brendan Cal. When television came along, people thought, theater's dead. Theater's dead, but it didn't die. Read a play by Susie Yusuf. Tell me you're not gonna bleed. When YouTube came along, people thought, theater's dead, but it didn't die.

No. Any night of the week, I can go into any city, any major city in the world, and I can see some mediocre naturalistic theater for $120. Because theater is alive and well. Now, we're actors. Yes, we are.

We are actors. Absolutely. Tell me my mums dead. Bro, then your mums dead. What do you mean? Wow. Tell me, now tell me. Wait, is your mums dead?

No, no. You both got me. Mark, tell me, tell me my mums dead. Zach, your mums dead. Oh no. That wasn't as good. No, no, no. Zach. That wasn't't it. Has a complicated relationship with his mother. That's what I read. I read it to there that he doesn't see a much more like my mom in real life. Yeah,

IRL. Yeah, IRL. I took it took her out for dumplings, but that was layered. That was nuanced. It was it was very it was very. Tell me again, and I'll just give you a completely different performance. Zach, your mum is dead. Oh no. I'm losing confidence in Zach. I had a lot. Now I've lost it all. It's your loss of it.

It felt very similar to the previous. Did you want me to do something completely different? Yeah, just do something off the wall. Something completely different. I'll use the take it to 100. Okay. Zach, your mum is dead. Uh oh.

Good. It was different. Different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now tell me, I'm the president. Now tell me my mum's dead. Tell me my mum's dead, please. Mark, your mum's dead.

Thank you so much. Would you like change with that? Oh my goodness. See, this is the thing about Mark. Mark you so much. Would you like change with that? Oh my goodness. See this is the thing about Mark. Mark's a writer. So when me and Brodon, we got told our mum was dead, we went with like an emotional story. Oh yeah, I said obvious.

But Mark took it in a different direction in a way an actor never could. I didn't really get it. So in my mind, we were at the shops, we were at a retail shop like a cameo. You came up to me, you said my mom's dead. I'm like, you're a stranger. I don't know you, you don't know my mom. You've just bought off me,

so tracksuit pants. But the script said, what do you mean? I didn't. When you're a writer, Broden, you look at a blank page, there is no script. I'm not a writer. I'm an actor, dear boy. I know you are. I know I said, when you're a writer.

I said, when you're a writer, not you, not me, when. This is just a little bit of the boys are just having a little bit of an argument. But dear boy, I am a writer of the mind and the bodies. You, the way you write in and the paper put something there that's dead and I'm making a lie with my breath. Without me, without my testicles, without the paper, you have nothing to bring to life. Theatre starts with the pen, which is my tier than the sword. He works sword is in my hand on the stage. It's fighting Leonidas. Ah but without the writer your sword is but just the handle.

You don't have the blade to cut through. Ah but without the actor, dear patch boy. Where does the story be told? Where are your, I am your mouth from which you speak. Oh, but what is the mouth without the heart and the heart is the beating life of the writer? Well, I guess I can't live without you. And I can't live without you. Or maybe together. We are theatre.

Are you guys a lame oh but we thought we'd put on a play today for a younger audience yeah it's about something close to our heart it's about love it is no because it is about love on the surface it might not seem about love it's about sex it. It's a playby road. It's about violence. Well, there's a violent elements in it. It's about passion. It's about a clash of cultures.

It's about young... That car accident. It's about religion. I think you're... An entrenched family dynamic. I think you're thinking of oranges and sunshows. It's about the fair city of Verona. Oh, right. It's about... It's about the French family dynamic. I think you're thinking of oranges and sunshops. It's about the fair city of Verona. Oh right.

It's about, it's about, it's about, it's about Roman, Romeo and Juliet as well. Catherine Martin going to 100% on every facet of the art design. It's about, I'm thinking about, I'm talking about 1996's Romeo and Juliet. I thought you were talking about Ralph Fines' Coriolanus. I've not seen that. I haven't.

I haven't seen that movie. I saw the ad. It's got the guy from 300, isn't it? Yeah. Leonardo's. Coriolanus. Yeah. Leonardo's is in Coriolanus.

That's pretty sick. But I only saw the ad. This is a play that we've presented for you today. You haven't seen Cori-Lanus? No, I haven't seen Cori-Lanus. I've only seen the ad, but I'll tell you what I have seen. I've seen John Wick too. Yeah.

And you haven't seen Parabellum? John Wick, three times. No, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. No, it was gonna go last night, but I've always seen different movies. It should be Shakespeare. I know, I know, I know. But can we just gonna last night, but I was a different movie. It'd be Shakespeare. I know I know I know I know but can we just talk about John with that

Malong. Can we just talk about the cutest as heck heckle ever? That Keanu Reeves got at his presentation e3 for cyberpunk 27 fucking play man. We can put on next week Now let's put on the plate. No, I just hear about this heckle and then we's put on the plate. No, let's put on the plate. Just hear about this heckle and then we'll put on the plate. He just said walking around the world inside about 2027 and I said 27 seven before and I apologize 2077 is breath thank you. Sorry, Mark. I'm just about to get to the heckle. But before you do can I just tell you I put a lot on the line here I put my friendship with Broden on the line to the end you're writing. Broden's going to be really mad unless this is the best anecdote ever.

It was an adorable heckle that happened at E3, the E3 presentation. I know, I've heard it. I know what he says. Do you know what he says? No. I'll tell him you're that in shifty, are they? No, they're not. What's shifty? The news short.

Seven a.m. I call it shifty. I call it shifty because they're like breaking the line. Because they're lying to you. They're being all shifty. Mark, sorry, Mark is notoriously right-wing and he doesn't like the fact that shorts media leans to the left. You goddamn right right I am.

Anyway, John wicks up on the stage, he goes, this is gonna be breathtaking. Walking through this world is breathtaking and then some nerd yells out. Your breathtaking. That's fucking lame. No, and then John wiktos,, your all breathtaking and everyone shared a really beautiful moment at E3. Alright, Broden, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I let this fucking waste our time with this Lamar story about LamAR SNERDS and their computer game party. And Mark, if you ever think about wasting my time again, let me tell you there will be hell to pay,

not just from me, not just from Broden, but from Tom as well, who has to sit through this and edit all of your ass and I'm bullshit. Our play begins with three best friends. Mark, I'm sorry. Right, I love you. I love you, I know you're sorry, I know you didn't mean that. I know it's the liquor getting to you. You came in this morning. Lick it up.

I saw you go into the toilet with a cup of coffee and pull out your hip flask. I understand what you're going through right now. He's not drinking alcohol or coffee at the moment. So he says. So in other words, he's boring, darling. Oh, P.U. Don't invite him.

I am. I am. I am darling, you're boring. Get a shot of espresso on a drive is something of a moot in you. I'm on a health kick, but last night I got a chalk top. So you did go to the movies last night, would you say? No, sorry, South Korean film called Burning.

Darling, you're the most boring did I guess I've ever had. You haven't ever seen John Mc3. It was a slow burn, but let me tell you that last hour took even me by surprise Darling you're making the mutton look like a like like like the Bolshoi ballet with you. It's so boring Boys I'm gonna be honest. I did come in here drunk and that's inappropriate. That's unprofessional In a provery that's unprofessional. Um, but I'm dealing with a lot of pain. Did you have a rum and raisin, chopped up? Oh my God.

I had a rum and raisin, chopped up. He's off his neck. He's off his neck. And I put, I put, I had my little flask, and when I had my morning coffee, I put a, I put a little bit of my, of my, I make the spirit myself in my bath time. What happened? You make a moonsh time. You make a moonshine.

I make a moonshine. When you step on stage you have to be in your mind. You can't be drunk. A lot of drunk off your head. He's drunk out of his head. A lot of people think they say to us, aren't you done? How do you come up with your wicked wild absurdist ideas?

You must be doing some sort of Molly. We dangerous to step on the stage. And it is drunk. You can't do Molly in right comm drunk. You can't do Molly and write comedy You can't write come you know communist Wake up, Zach wake up wake up wake up. I'm gonna get a cup of coffee in a room. That'll perk him up Oh, no, it's full of cooking cherry Zach, yeah, so sleep we need someone else to perform the role hmm

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we need someone else to perform the role hmm Tom will you perform the role of Zach in this play show you go I got to talk into the mic We got about two minutes. Let's do this. Oh, I'm we cutting like 10 minutes? Yes, that's awesome. Oh, Zach, you're awake. Hey, boys. Well, because here's the issue, right? It was a great set out the idea of Tom playing me. But then I wouldn't, oh, I could go do something else. No, Zach, no, you can play many other games. You can play the car. No, I'll play some else.

Oh, I'll play the drive-in. You can just play the drive-in. I'll play the director. All right, I'm asleep. Get out of my mind. Oh, no. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. Get out of my way, boys, it's me, the director. Hello, director. Director, are you drunk?

I'm pissed out of my mind. Oh no, you've had a rum and raisin, truck top. I tell you what a vidrigger, cook and cherry. No, and canola oil. Which I didn't even know why you're drinking canola oil. So this is a play to appeal to the youth. We're gonna be going out to schools. Tom, you'll be playing the part of Zach Broden.

You'll be playing the part of Broden. And Mark, you'll be playing the part of Fuckhead. The lead. The lead. Who's the lead? Hang on, what? The lead is Fuckhead. It's called the Fuckhead Christmas Special. So. Here's the lead? Hang on, what? The lead is fuckhead, it's called the fuckhead, Christmas special.

So. Here's the issue, right? Fuckhead has the most lines, but I would consider Zach the lead. He's drunk. So Tom's playing the lead of Zach. Yeah. That's a bad idea. That's a bad idea?

Yeah, that's a bad idea. Right. Lesson number one of acting. Diction. Artic acting. Diction. Tic-t-t-culation. Diction. Boys, if you want to put this play on by next Monday, you've got to be better than this.

Okay. All right. And scene one, let's do a read through. As you want to read the big print. I will. A boy enters an empty classroom. He sighs to himself and looks at the blackboard. Speaking to himself, he performs a monologue that he has prepared. Well, that's. a monologue that he has prepared. Well, that's...

Would you like to read it? He's an actor, the child is an actor. He's practicing for the drama scene in the whole place. No, no. I wish it were... Begone once again through all the flourishes of evil There are ten what say something no if you're gonna say something say something. Oh, it's good I was gonna just read some more big print, but there's more. I just miss read it. I'm sorry. No, no

No, go TWS but night when I saw her standing there Twos but night when I saw her standing there. The big bully, Zach enters. That was a monologue. Yeah, well I mean I'm in the middle of the monologue. He doesn't, he's only halfway there. Have you read the script, bro? I don't read the script first, dear boy.

I let it bounce off the page through me the first time I read it. Told you to read the script last night. I'm sorry. John Snow does that too. Do you mean Kit Harrington? Yeah, Kit, he does that. He doesn't read the script.

No, he waits for the read through. Ah, cute, yeah, that's nice. That's why he had a suck at the last reading. Correct. Yeah. Did he have a suck? Yeah, he had a little suck. Zach the bullie enters. Zach the bully enters.

Fuck you, Mark. Mark is sad. It's a school play. So he goes, Why is there a way? This needs a rewrite. Well, we're going to talk to the writer, Mark. About that.

Hello, Mark. Hi, I thought it important to show you. You just said when this needs a read right. I know. How do you think a writer gets paid not through the initial writing but through the re-writing? Re-writing, my dear boy. So what I do is I plant things in there that I know we're going to get watered down, but it gives me a chance to sort of be rehired and kind of make what you would, what you'd commoners call over time.

Oh. In the biz we call it rewriting. Well, let's just read this then. No, we can change that line though. Maybe it's more of a hay, you nerd with your theatre. No, no, no, no. You read the words as they are written. You wouldn't do it to Shakespeare.

You wouldn't change the words of Shakespeare, nor should you change the words of banana. So let that be a lesson to you, young Thespian. A.U. Thed and Nerd. The boy, sad and dejected, goes to the counsellor's office. Mr. Councillor, Mr. Councillor. What? What is it? I was working on my time machine. Come look at it, young boy. I'm so proud of it. Wow, Doc, this is the most incredible time machine I've ever seen.

And you've built it into the ass of a pig. I have. The counselor is a weary old man and looks exactly like that come from back to the future. Marty, listen to me, Marty, I've built a time machine in a DeLorean. I'm scratched out pig ass. You want to come back to the future?ass. You wanna come back to the future? I do wanna come back to the future. I need to go and prove to this bully

that I'm no nerd. And also, I wouldn't mind getting inside the asshole of a pig. It's on my bucket list. Cool, man. But first, wanna do some snuff. Yeah, well, you got snuff? I got snuff right here. Oh, yeah, let's do some snuff. Yeah, will you go snuff? I got snuff right here. Oh yeah, let's do some snuff.

Let's sit out by the cherry tree and put chance for taking some snuff. The counselor sets up the camera and kills Mark in front of the camera. That was a trick, Mark. I was luring you with snuff. To make a snuff film. Is that what they called? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this big print? Yeah. Snuff is like snorting to that.

This is a true story now. Is one song is reading a play written by a guy that I was going to perform and halfway through the big print, which is, you know, the direct in the script. He goes, this happens. Is that what you mean, Peter? There are, I just put a question to a different, to a man in his, in his script. I remember that. What play was that? No, I don't want to say. There's a keep of vague. Is that what you mean, Peter? Oh, right. That was for the drama tour, I believe. And you were in the play too.

I was also in the play. I didn't learn a single word of that part. I wasn't in the play. The Sam was in the play. Oh, I think I know what play. I'm not gonna say what play. Seen. I'm not saying hate if you say that play.

Seen too. Exterior. Night. The future. There are some beepy, boopy, see, I was coming from a robot. Mark, we haven't cast a robot yet. Would you mind playing the robot?

I can feel the robot. Just give your car to the moment. I know I had a read for it. I mean, I wrote him. Yeah. The counselor approaches the robot. He is interested in a suck job. Hey, robot. I is interested in a suck job. Hey robot, I'm interested in a suck job. I am a robot. I give suck jobs. I am a robot. Let me suck you off.

Well, all I've got is this here. That is your doodle. He's doodle. Wow, what a thick dick. You have such a beautiful dick. I will now suck your dick. Scene three. This is a kid's play, yeah? Yeah. Interior day.

The counselor's office, to policeman, stand above the dead boy, and see the camera, and realize this is part of the snuff film thing that's happening. The two policemen talk to each other. The two people talk to each other. What do we have a cast? We have a cast written in the big Zach was the lead yeah, we comes back to life, doesn't he he's not dead

Yeah, Tom's just been sitting here waiting for his lines. Oh, sorry. Yeah Shit you did oh yeah I said it could someone pick up for me and play the police word until I cast it. Yeah, I can do it. I know how to read it. I wrote it. Do you want to play one of the police word for the police word for the word? All right.

And then go for a little bit. Zack's coming in soon. Hey, John. What is going on with this dead body? I don't know, Larry. There's something looks amiss to me. I am a robot. I give suck jobs.

I didn't know that, Larry. I thought you were just a cop. Larry, the policeman, is an earlier version of the suck job robot from the future. We see in him the potential of what the suckjob robot will one day become, but he is rudimentary, rusty, not quite put together right, not just physically, but emotionally too. I hate my mom. Zach enters. He's got his dick out. Hey, my dick's out. The police officers. The police officers pull out their guns freeze freeze. Oh No, don't shoot me, please Okay, that's fine. All right, just put your hands up these are replicas anyway. They're not real guns

way they're not real guns. We shot you. That was a much pain. We lied to Louis further into the room because we're not a very good shot so we just need a should of be a bit closer. Seen for exterior night the future. That was a good job. I am full of calm now. Now I can become a man. The robot transforms into a man, but because this is theater, he does it through dance. I've watched dirty dancing ten times. I've been to camp. Just got to pause the script. Yeah, for sure, then. He's the worst script I've ever read. Well, no, it goes somewhere really interesting. I've read ahead. I know where it goes, and it's really interesting.

Are you sure about that, man? For me, it's just a lot more robot suck jobs. That was my impression of the script. Yes, but the suck jobs start to symbolize America's struggling, how they used to be a superpower, and now no longer really are. The present of the United States isn't the leader of the free world anymore. Okay, all right. I the free world anymore. Okay. All right.

I can't afford in then. Sure. But the American dream is dead is really the message of the play. Okay. All right. But how do you know that? Regular after all. Yeah, you're in Australia.

Guys, I have something to confess to you. Uh oh. I wrote this play. Yeah, we know that. You can be the same now. Have we? Yeah. Yeah. I was that. You can be the same now. I'll hold on. I'll give him a hand. I was okay, I'm in there, and I was like, I'm not going to tell them.

You said it. And then I was going to reveal it when the time was over. Yeah, we talked about that length. You offered re-rides. We can start reading the play, if you want. Well, there's something one more scene. We may as well just finish it off. Let's just read the final scene. Okay.

And then we'll put this in the dead. It brings it all together. Okay. Ties the two separate storylines. And this is for kids to tour around the schools. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teach them about America's Super Bound. The death of the American dream.

Yeah, yeah. And a lot of the ways the acts very clearly reflect the X-Men films. You shouldn't tell me, you should show me. Yeah. Just in the sense that this last scene is not Phoenix.

Oh, don't tell me that. Show me that. Okay, here we go. It's on the, you can just read ahead. It's on the paper. But you're writing should show me. It is. Scene five.

The words are there. Why are you telling me? Uh-oh. I'm just telling you to read what is in front of you that I can show you. You shouldn't have to. Yeah, that's fair. Scene 5. The stage is now split into one half is the future with the counsellor receiving another

suck job from a different sex robot Of the stage is the police officers trying to bury the body of Zach They're not there seeds in twine I think You got really lazy with the big print here. Wow Being a boy I feel like a regular Pinocchio. Sure. Hey, can you see that over there? I see the past. I see a rudimentary version of myself just there

and then a different sex robot giving a blowjob to someone I don't know. Quick. Who are you again in the future? I am a council Sorry of the direct coming in here He makes the stars, why button in the sizzle written? Okay, yeah, just to be clear the counselor it does make snuff films

He's the one the cops are trying to get. Oh, no, the cops are there. That's where I kill that boy for no reason. Oh, fuckhead. I know him. I lived him's life. No, I'm him. You're the boy? No, you know him. I know the boy. Sorry. V and. I'm not I'd added your first. You know, you don't win a Pulitzer for nothing. With my beautiful beautiful. Wow. That's going to change some kids' lives. And you know what, if I turn around 20 schools and there's one kid in every audience

All of made a difference and the great thing for this kind of show You don't really need a set all you need is like some heavy metal poles That barely fits in your car and sort of just like That hasn't been I and a CD player That's all you need to put on a show. And a power socket, like that. And a power socket, you do need a power socket. So if you have a table and chairs at the school, we can just use them.

Yeah, that's fine. We don't need to bring our own tables and chairs, but let us know in advance. Let us know in advance that there's not a table and chairs because we can bring our own. Gonna say, guys, it was really powerful. I can't wait to direct that, dig into it. Maybe we'll rewrite it, perform it next week.

It is full-stay. I sincerely doubt that, but yeah. Tom, thank you so much for your work. You were absolutely fantastic as the lead of the play. Thanks. Zach, I was actually conscious from alcohols. Now boys, I prefer a bit of that was when it ended

with just a miscommunication. It's real, isn't it? It's real. It's so perfect. It's real. It reflects real life in that way because sometimes life just ends like, you know, like a snap, like a click.

And that's what I wanted to do with this play. It was just an end game. I'd just seen an end game and when Tony Stark clicked, I went, that's an interest if the play ended there, the play of end game. Because they call it a play. Do you know why they call it a play? They call it a movie. Well, that's what Kevin Feige wants you to believe. But they call it a play because...

...a play is... Who have you been speaking to? I've been talking to Kevin James. From Doug and Carrie. From King of Queens. From King of Queens. Um... He's a great friend of mine. Paul Bart. Blatt? Mmm. More cop. Yes. And he's a playwright.

He wrote Endgame. So I just want to thank just to wrap up the podcast. I just want to thank our super patrons, our super best friends on our Patreon. No, yeah, I just want to thank them. I just want to thank them for all of their support. So thank you to Robert Medzys. Thank you. Harold Holt. Thank you John Gordon. William McMahon Stedden Malcolm Fraser John Houston Alexander Downer John Howard Brendan Dalson Malcolm Terrible Tony Abbott and Scott Morris and thank you Sorry that sounds to me like all of the leaders from the Liberal Party. From about 1940 onwards. Is that right?

Well, look, I don't know, I'm just reading the names, the Patreon brings up. It's just like the leaders of the Liberal Party. If our super best friends are the leaders of the Australian Liberal Party, then that's on them. Thank you so much. There's people dead. A lot of them are dead. That's really interesting. Thank you so much guys. And thank you again to John Hussin for your podcast idea.

We'll be uploading that to the Patreon soon. Yeah, he came up with that wacky podcast, we did the other week. Okay, if you do want to support us on Patreon, you can, uh, there's a website somewhere, I don't know what the address is. Figure it out for yourself. Fucking start thinking for yourself. Fuckin' thinking for yourself with God's faith. You're gonna fucking body cuddle you, fucking give you handouts. You want to fucking support us on Patreon? Look it up on Google, you absolute piece of shit. What the fuck do you want from me? All the fucking answers? I'm not your fucking

tutor. Alright? I don't work at CUMON. Go get yourself a fucking computer and sort your own shit out. You fucking insane bastards. Jesus, I'm fucking done with this shit. I swear to God. Your podcast back, c'mon. I think today's podcast went well. It's a roller coaster. There's ups and downs, but there's enough to justify it going out.

No, that doesn't. Yeah, it's 52 of these years. You got to hold me just short by your heads, you know? I didn't got something where. Where that robot started sucking the. I got dick. I was like no, we got somewhere. This is going up You want quality you want the high end content? You're gonna wear you to you go to our ITV This is about a deep time yeah Sometimes you're gonna have Craig Mason Tweeting you some ways you can have a, suck it off a guy in the future.

And that's just the way this cookie crumbles. It's 10 minutes that we caught, cause it was no good. We were doing this podcast. We got 20 minutes in, or 10 minutes of what I'd not know could go back to that again. That's what you don't know.

This is the cream. This is the cream. This is the cream. And no one's ever been in there 10 minutes. Maybe not I don't know unless you want to And then we'll put that up put it up. We don't give a shit put it on our patreon Anyway, this has been the honey Donna This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

I mean, if you want, it's up to you.