Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 160 - Podcast Wars

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Good morning. Well, what I thought was all of Australia. But we've come across some very interesting news this morning at the Anti-Donna podcast. I was asking my friends and colleagues Zachary Woyne, Brodom Kelly, and Terminan Strong. Yeah. I was asking them, I was saying, you know, we are obviously

the biggest podcast, at least in Australia. At least, yeah. And before I could even finish that sentence, I was, how would you describe it? Shut down. You were blocked. Yeah, I was, well how would you describe it? Shot down. You're blocked. Yeah, blocked.

You're blocked. Because it was a good idea. I would say, shone for the fuckhead you are. Right, right. Yeah, no, no, no, no, that's fair. I'm happy to, I'm happy to cop that. I'm happy to cop that like a wet pair of testicles on my chin.

I really am. Yeah, okay. I, you just take that, you'll take that fallace to the nose. Yes, I'll take that fallace to the nose. That knob to the eye. Nob to the eye, fallace to the nose, balls to the chin. That's right. I'll take all of that. I'll just take that pubic, the pubes on top of the dick to the forehead. Essentially, I'll take... Okay, so it's sort of a... Yeah, I'll get it.

Yeah, I'll just... I think what's happening is the genitals are just smushing into my face. Oh, be very clear. ...of all of those things I have to... pube on the forehead. Yeah. So the monopue... Shaft down the middle of the nose.

Yeah, which I see. Shaft down the middle of the nose. Yeah. Nob on the nose. Yeah, which I shaft down the middle of the nose Nob on the nose or no, but maybe yeah, no, but no, depending on the size I have a big nose nob on the mustache. Oh See can I explain where I was confused and why I was confused like okay? Firstly, I imagined the person putting their penis on your face standing which I think can still be the case But secondly, I imagined an erect penis. Oh, right. No, no, no, no.

Definitely flaccid and wet. Like just out of the shell. Just out of the shell. Flaccid and with a very long ball. Flaccid to begin with. Absolutely. The one component that we have to acknowledge in this scenario is they've got very long balls. And they cut.

Do they have to be cut? Well, for me, if the knob is going to be resting on the moustache, you see, for me, it needs a foreskin because the knob, because the nose would either push it back, so the knob can't do a 90 degree and then touch the mustache. So it's got to be a bit of a foreskin. See, I would, I imagined, I imagined that my nose was sort of resting in that little crevice

where a cup penises not begins and the shaft ends. How? You've lost me. How long are these balls? I don't think that have to be that long. No, no, no, yeah, I'm very confused that your number one point here is that the balls are long. So if we've got the shaft down the length of your nose,

we've got the knob on your mustache. Yeah, a cat or ancard, but we haven't fully decided on that, but I think each of their own there. We've got pubes on your forehead. That's already a relatively long flask of penis, okay? And just to be clear, it's the mon's pubes on my forehead, whether they have pubes or not, I think, is. Or whether or not.

Some people have gotten some laser hair removal there, and that's totally cool, brother. So we're talking about four or five inches flaccid, you know, maybe four minimum flaccid. But then we're talking about four or five inches flaccid. Yeah, maybe four minimum flaccid. But then we're talking about to get to your chin. Which is a piece of gum. We're talking about a six inch hang on the balls. Minimum.

Bottom of the balls on the chin. Yeah, bottom of the balls. That's still a five inch hang on the balls. I don't know if you can see. And even on a warm day, that's a lot of hang in the ball. Yeah, and I just got a point, if the monsters on my forehead, the balls would have to be quite long. It's a toy eye.

It can be a tall man. I don't understand what you're talking about here. We're talking about the relationship between the forehead to the chin. I'm talking about the difference of a large, you know, say a six-foot-five-man with a large, with mom pubes, two balls. That's a large bit of geography. We're talking Shaq. Okay, we're talking Shaq, okay.

Absolutely. Okay, so I'm saying, yeah, so a large-man, I'm not saying race either, so don't... No, no, no, I didn't mean no, I just meant no, I just meant... I just said another call, listen. You gotta like, ah, Shaq! I'll look for a James! Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

Kareem Abdul Jabbar, okay, so we're talking Kareem Abdul Jabbar. He's, no. So we're talking Farad to Chin. If they're tall, I understand how they're getting to the Farad. I'm not talking about legs. It's a distance. It's a distance. The distance of the balls.

The monster's pupils to balls would be bigger on a tall man than it would from a short man. That's true. Yeah. I feel like the top of the balls, if the top of the deck is starting at the eyebrows. This to balls would be bigger than a tall man than it would from a short man. That's true. Yeah. But I feel like the top of the balls, if the top of the dick is starting at the eyebrows. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, that means. That means, and I write here, and please correct me if I'm wrong, then really the balls are hanging from a similar place, maybe a little bit lower. It's a big man. No lower, much lower, yeah, lower, man. The balls don't start to hang from where the top of the penis is. That's what's happened to your dick.

I'm touching your dick. I'm just looking at my dick to get an idea. Now, there's a bit of stuff going on there. There's a bit of meat there's a bit of meat there that is sort of, I mean from memory, look. I just want to say something, Zach just just just just just should for us to make this the whole podcast. Now, how long do you think we've been talking for? Maybe three minutes, four minutes, five minutes. Five minutes, great. Yeah, I could get another 25 out of these.

I got it. I got it. No, let's let's. Because you're going off the wrong, it's wrong, yeah, I could get another 25 out of these. I doubt it. I quit. I doubt it. No, let's let's. Because you're going off the wrong, it's wrong, man. Okay, so firstly, except you need to accept, you need to fundamentally accept that a taller man has a bigger fucking groin area. I just want to say, I just want to say, I will, but firstly I want to say, I'm not saying let's talk about the dick on Mark's face for the full 30, I'm saying let's see where this takes us. I don't let's see where this takes us.

I don't wanna see where it takes it. I'm saying an improvisational door has been opened and I wanna see the room through that door. It's probably a bit of a... Do you wanna ring your brother who's a doctor and talk about this? I don't know, he did tell me once he doesn't wanna talk about his medical practice in comedy

Right, but what if I call up with it saying oh my oh my dick is so Wish my dick into another man's face and I'm just I'm so concerned that my balls wouldn't be touching his chin You probably say check into my practice check into my practice, but I don't want to do this over the day. Does he practice medicine? He does practice every day. I thought he was a professional. He's a professional doctor, he's not going to do it otherwise. Yeah, because I practice the drums every day, but I wouldn't say on drums.

I believe it was the lead singer, the lead singer of smashing pumpkins. When James E. Ha, no, that's a joke, who's the lead singer? Billy Coggan said, you got to practice every day You're gonna do a thousand million hours of guitar playing before you become a million hours Yeah, is that the thing before you become a master? You got to practice every day a thousand million hours I just say I just say yeah, except that a big man has a big groin area. Just do that Yeah, but long balls. Doesn't the balls don't need to be long?

Yeah, I don't think they need to be long. I feel like at a minimum, the balls, so we're talking at a minimum, the balls are starting to halfway down the nose. Shut up, Tom. Halfway down the nose. Is that fair to say? Uh, yeah.

Yeah, probably. And if they're at the top of the No, actually, that's quite a normal. I need to I'm going Sorry, that is when I get home. I'm looking in the mirror and I'm really gonna break down here My dick is happening because if you've got me confused if you see Mark on the street go up Reference your balls against his face just if you're a dick into my Balls and if you have and this came up last week, if you have female genitals, then get him in Mark's face too.

Well, and there's so many apparatuses that you can buy from a sex shop where you can have the experience. What trends do you catch? May I catch the 109, and I catch the 96. Okay, so get on those trends, ride them back and forth. Yeah, and what I tried to do there was say two trams that I don't catch and I accidentally said one

that I actually do. Now you got to find out which one that is. Is it the 109 or is it the 96? I know which one it is, but do you the listen to that? Do you the listener know which one it is? Do you know the listener? Do you listen to know? Do you listen to know? Do you know the listener? I uh, I uh, do you listen to know? What? Do you listen to know? Do you know? Do you know what?

Tram Mark catches and you prepared to put your dick on his face on that Tram. This is a joke by the way. Now. Oh, you please don't do that. Yeah. So I found out this morning that we are not the biggest podcast. I just want to say goodbye to that room. That room, that 25 minutes. I think we spent a beautiful amount of time in that room. Yeah, no, and I just wanna say like Marie Kondo, thank you.

Thank you. That room is filled with calling your brother. I can't do that. I think it pronounced here as well. But there's other places, there's other places we could have gone. We could have talked about how long that man's legs are. Yeah. And I think it's, I think it's,

um, we could have talked about a man that's, that's from fate to dick is his tallest mark. And what, what's happening above mark? How tall is that man? We'll never know. We'll never know now, but we said Shaq. He's his tallest Shaq. Anyway, carry on. Can we have a doge about? Um, thank you. That's thank you as Shack. Anyway, carry on. Kareem, I'm Dooljabar. Thank you.

Thank you, Dool. So we want to say Marie Kondo. Thank you so much. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo.

Thank you so much. No, no, no. Marie Kondo. No. Kondo. No, Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo.

Marie Kondo. No, Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What was their last name? Honda. Not a name. Right. Marie. Condo. Marie Condo. Marie lives in a condo. Thank you, room. Marie does live in a condo.

We're not the biggest podcast, Mark. You need to. I thought you'd engage in the zeitgeist. Biggest song in the world right now. The tram song. I got them. The horsies in the back. The tram song. It's correct. It is The tram song. I've got them. The horse is in the back. The tram song. That is, it's correct. It is the tram song. It's the tram song.

What is the tram song? It's riding around on 86. So hung over. Yeah, he's talking about the bedroom philosopher's song from 2009. Yeah. So that's still, still number one. It's huge. That's, that's two songs that have never left the top 100. Mr. Bright's song. So you're not connected anymore. Biggest video game in the world. Right now?

Yeah. Donkey Kong. OK. So well. No, so we're not the biggest podcast. Biggest movie in the world. Hobbs and Shore. Oh, OK.

OK. You are on the money there. You're mentally fucked up. The biggest book. Probably the big book of the bush. That's the biggest book I've ever seen. No, it's the Bible. Really?

You know Jesus wrote that. Well, God wrote it through the hands of many men. Jesus, who wasn't necessarily a man. Well Jesus is God. No he's God's baby boy. No Jesus is God. No he fucked Mary. No God didn't fuck Mary.

She was a virgin and Jesus is God. No you eat him. I just got pregnant. I dug this hole. Broden, carry on please. So we're not the biggest podcast. No, which genuinely came as a shock to me because people stop me on the street all the time and say I really love put. So I didn't know. I'm not a podcast. No, no, but it started as a video. A lot of the biggest podcasts edit their podcast. Do they?

So they get rid of the yums and those bits and the burps. And the hocks. We leave those in. And the bits where we talk about. And that's how you get to be the biggest podcast in Australia by leaving that stuff in. Truth. So, what did we decide?

We decided that we're just not going to take that lying down. No, we're not going to take that knowledge lying down. What do you do if you find out you're not the best and you want to become the best? What do you do? Do you self-improve? No. No. Do you think how can we build our market? No. No. What do you do? Do you self-improve? No. No. Do you think how can we build our market? No. No. What do you do? You tear the bigger people down, right? Make them feel bad. We're gonna prank call...

Yeah, there's a thing everyone. We're gonna prank all the other podcasts. We're gonna prank call them. Because there's a thing in Australia called tall poppy syndrome. Tall poppy syndrome. And it's a thing that awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's a thing that farmers started where some of their flowers Would grow quite tall and though and they would just need to um That was ruining their view right Russell Crowe was a flower Russell Crowe was a flower He loves Russell Crowe actually loves a spelt flower Russell Crowe was a big tall flower and then then he did a little thing like throw a phone at a person and we we couldn't we cut him down. Yeah yeah. Mel Gibson was a very tall flower. He said

some horrifically racist and sexist things and we just cut him down because we couldn't handle him being that famous. Or do it was full of himself. Or full. So we're going to do the same. We're going to cut down podcasts that are doing better than us. You're going to go through the list. I believe there's a list of the biggest podcasts and we're going to crank call every single one. Crank. Crank.

Crank. Yeah, you're Aussie. We do the American style. Crank call. Yeah, we do a crank call. I don't understand why it's called the same crank anchors. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On XPS number one, you all look up the charts. Yeah. Yeah, let's look up the Apple podcast Australia comedy charts.

Number one at the moment on Apple. This is Apple. So it's always changing again. People are but but people people use Apple products and the thing right? There is a bias in the Apple charts because it, people are, but people, people use Apple products. Well, here's the thing, right? There is a bias in the Apple charts because it, you know, the, you know, the idea of an iMac user, someone using an iMac, they're nerdy, they're point dexters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Apple, the people that use Apple are like, Apple nerds.

Yeah, they're sleek, they're cool, they're adorable. You know, yeah,, it's pretty good. I think they need to get out of town and get on Windows 90. Oh wow, this is actually pretty cool. I got on the Spotify chart just now. And number one is misfits, so we'll call them. We'll call them misfits. No such thing as fish.

I don't know what that is. My dad wrote a porno. Give me a break, come on. We really know. H3, H3 podcast. What's H3? I'm never. My dad wrote a porno. Give me a break, come on. We will know. You will know. H3, H3 podcast. What's H3? I'm never.

H3 is a, I know what I've been saying to him before. I know it. Yeah, it's the one, sorry, but I know that one. It's the one about the, the tween mermaids. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I'm Chair expert with Dax Sheppard. Dax from Punked.

He's married to that beautiful lady from Veronica Mars, and they're a great couple. Sarah Marshall. Sarah Marshall. The real name of course is Kristen Bell. Sure, Bell. Morbid, a true crime podcast. So this is number six that we're up to.

This is of all time. This is not as comedy. No, this is just Spotify charts. This is just Spotify charts. It's just a comedy charts. So mortified and H2O are on those. That's really good that they've found a second life as podcasts.

Yeah. Number seven, Potilus. Is that about, is that a Harry Potter podcast? Is that a Harry Potter podcast? Is that what I'm reading into there? Yeah. Well, what's it like? Well, what's it like?

What's it like? Two lands in Universal Island and a podcast. Harry Potter has just gone crazy. It's spread, it's right in the zeitgeist. That's number seven. What do they talk about on Pottalus? That there's no more Harry Potter? Because there still is.

How to practice kissing with a pillow. Yep. Is that anywhere? That's fine. Number eight. Number eight. Aren't you Donna? Really?

We're pretty fine. That's pretty great. Yeah, we're pretty fine. That's pretty great. Yeah, we're pretty fat. Jesus genuine surprise If we weren't number one, I thought we would not be on the charts at all, but we're number eight As for how many of those are Australian there? What do you mean? It's a strange shot But it's come you're right. I understand this is wrong. We must be the biggest in Australia. There's no Australians We're the biggest comedy podcast in the world. I know it's not a fight. On Spotify.

That's going to be wrong because on the Apple we're 70. That's still pretty good. But Apple is different. Yeah. So it's a different chart. Yeah. So that makes sense to me that we'd be a different position. Do you know what I mean?

It just tells me because Apple apples for fucking losers, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And anyone listening to this on Apple is a fucking loser. But anyone who's listening to this on Spotify is a progressive, interesting person. Yeah, it's called it. Down with it. I reckon there's a few people listening

to this on their laptop in their bedroom. You reckon? Do you think people are just looking at it? Yeah, just looking at it. Maybe it's playing out of the little speaker in their laptop. So there's going to be more people above us. If we're going to crank prank, whatever you want to call it, call these people. There's going to be more people in the Apple podcast.

I think you guys have that. Why is that? Well, there's 70 people that we can prank call. Can I just say, and I mean, there's quite genuinely, what? I'm quite touched that we're number 70. I think that's quite a great number. No, that is amazing. No, that's amazing. Nothing to be, well to be well. He thought we're gonna be number one

So you shouldn't be yeah, you you need to know what I said yeah, but expectation I thought we were gonna be number one and if we weren't number one Then I assumed we would not on the charts at all I just think 70 if you'd told me 10 years ago There would only be 69 podcasts People would be listening to you over you and I'd go, A, you need to be 69 podcasts. There's only that one with Ricky Gervais at the moment.

Yeah, and we all get this podcast. And we all get this podcast. Yeah, to get this podcast. You download, get this off the internet. Yeah, get this, get this. You all get this podcast. My friend Alex Moreno used to listen to, listen to, he used to download, get this.

And still, potentially, still potentially the funniest podcast ever made. I am, oh. That, that and S town. Yeah, that and S town, that makes me love. The number one podcast for comedy in Australia on the Apple Podcast is Rosie Waterland, who we kind of know.

Really, really, Rosie Waterland. Yeah, she's number one. She was at our show once. Yeah. I really like Rosie. I really like Rosie Waterland. It's a shame we're gonna have to crank call her. Gonna crank call her.

Cut her down a couple of. Be pretends to be. We call it silly. Just to meet the middle. Can we call it Capranque? Yeah, let's Capranque. Let's Capranque. But before we Capranque anyone, let's take a short break.

Everybody, get on the down the rest of the restaurant. Hi. Hi. I was going to make it a restaurant, eat the bus food, the rest steak. Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, do I have some more? No, I can't.

Where am I lost? I don't know what I said. Do you believe what? No, I'm going where most I know most you know the most you do believe that she don't do it Is it my land for some my land? I'm on it. Where's my mind? Where's my mind? Is it? I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor.

I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor.

I'm on the same floor. I'm on the same floor. I'm on the I genuinely need to go to the bathroom. Uh-huh. Well, let's take a break now. Let's take a break. Yeah. And we're back again. I'm back. I had to go to the toilet.

I had a coffee this morning. I haven't been drinking a lot of coffee. And boy has a cut through me like a knife. So literally the coffee went from your mouth to your bottom. Oh, so quickly. Or at least just anything that was in me, the coffee stimulated my bowel to a point where it was like, you need that needs to get out right now.

Okay. And it's gonna come out less formed than you would like. Okay. Yeah. So Rosie Waterland has the biggest podcast in the world at the moment, as is our understanding today. Today, much bigger than us, which is devastating. So should we try and cut her down?

Well, I don't know how to- We don't have a number. No, but what I thought might be a good idea is if we go onto her Facebook page and maybe just leave a post on her wall. Okay. As Auntie Donna. As Auntie Donna that just says,

hey Rosie, it's us, it's Auntie Donna. We just found out that you have a much bigger, more popular podcast than us in the tradition of tall poppy syndrome, we'd like to cut you down a peg and maybe give you a crank call. If you get back in touch with us with your number, so we could do that, that would be great. Please DM.

Yeah, just DM. DM, my son, our personal account, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that would be, you know, I think that's fair. I think it's the best way to get to that. And that's funny, that's funny isn't it? What? That's still funny if we have to get in touch that way?

Yeah, yeah, I'm not trying to be funny, but yeah. I don't know how to use Facebook, not as broad and Kelly, but as Arny Donner. Well, do we want to maybe just jump on her Twitter then? I know she's on Twitter. Does she follow up on Twitter? Yeah, Twitter makes sense. That way she can do it.

I'll be very polite. Yeah, she makes sense. That way she can do it. I'll be very polite. Yeah, she's a fantastic writer. Incredible writer. A wonderful person. Yeah, we've noticed. Super funny. Hi, we've noticed that your podcast is more popular than us.

I love that in the tradition of told poppy syndrome. We would love to prank. Call you because you're writing it. Yeah, if you want to say prank, that's fine. Yeah, don't say, could prank. Because that all you could. If you could please DM us a number or even a Skype username. Yeah, whatever.

So we can rank call you that would be fantastic. Alternatively, if you don't want to be prank called, that's fine. Just let us know or don't respond. Yeah, yeah, give her an out. Yeah, respond. Yeah, yeah, give her an out. Yeah, I think it's important to give her an out. I don't want to be rude. In the tradition of tall, poppy syndrome.

Syndrome? Yeah. Yeah, and I think this is, hopefully she says yes, because it would be really great to knock her down a couple of pegs. And just catch her off guard with a crank call You know, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, frankly. Yeah, whatever you want to call it. That's fine. Hi Rosie Donner boys here Homepill well, we noticed you are higher on the podcast charts than us in the tradition in the tradition

Typo, okay, yeah, I've told professional writers. Oh, I would definitely correct that otherwise she will fucking destroy What is all right? Yeah, What is wrong with a tradition? It's not very traditional. Yeah, it's not very traditional. Yeah, but I'm fucking with traditions. Oh wow That's true. He's subverting expectations. Oh, you boy. You made a mistake pardon? That was wrong You should have said expectations in the tradition of mixing things up. Yeah, all right. That's what I like, dear boy. Yeah, but that was wrong though.

In the tradition of public syndrome, we thought it would be fun to crank slash prank call you. Right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that. You have no obligation in getting back to us. Yeah, yeah. And then also maybe just apologize at the end. Sorry for bothering you. No obligation to reply to this tweet. Sorry, we're running along podcast ideas.

Yeah, I think that's good. If you have to make it a thread, that's fine. I run out of, if you have to make it a thread, just make it a thread. How do you make thread? So you just, there you go. You got it. On podcast ideas, and we've lost the passion for this. Yeah, yeah, I think that's good. Please DM us. We hope you're well. You need to

Hope you're well regrets on being number one And ours you know, I'm sorry to bother you love Broke back is up. Yeah, love love brodum mark and sack and then maybe just like looking forward to taking you down a peg All right now that's that's a down a peg. Now that's... That's a bit rude. Okay, that's fair. Have you given her a means to get in touch with us? No.

So maybe just mention if she could DM us. What if you throw this all out? What if we just go, hey Rosie, we'll hope you're well. Yeah, I like that. Okay. Yeah. Hey Rosie, don't always hear. Hope you're well. Congrats on being number one on the charts. On the podcast charts. Yeah, Donna voice here. Hope you're well.

Congrats on being number one on the charts. On the podcast charts. Yeah, that's good. Does that work? Yeah, it's got a bit of sting in its tail. Okay. Yeah, okay. I just, what if, what if, if, what you're, what you're stumbling, I'm going to send it.

Can you just copy paste it before you do because I think that's a good template Hi Rosie Donna voice here. Hope you're but we could change the at If we don't have any future numbers. That's a good template to work from does this come across as bitchy this take this tweet It Hope you're well congrats podcast shows number one. It does. Without context, I feel like it's a little like, because she could read it as congrats. So the podcast show. I don't know. I'm not sending it.

I don't feel comfortable doing this. Yeah. All right, number two, Joe Rogan podcast. Okay. Does anyone have his number? No, I don't. No, I got it. You do?

Yeah. You got it. All right, well, we'll give Joe Rogan a call. Well, I get Joe Rogan's phone number up. Right. This is going to be so exciting because Joe Rogan has had the number one. But I think Rosie just took him down recently. But he's had the number. He's been on the top. He's been the king for so long. He's been on a thing for a long time. I think anyone's prank called him.

He's really interesting. I saw a long time. I think anyone's prank called him. He's he's really interesting. I saw. Alright. Here we go. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. I was in a podcast called Joe Rogan podcast. Something to that like that. The Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan chats chats he wears tight teas and Sometimes if someone says something you disagree with he goes, okay, I don't think it's quite like that Right and I need all them until he gets until they it's not confrontational It's pretty confrontational I just think that's a nice way to disagree with some I don't know if it's confrontational. It's like that Yeah, we're where if you most people just go,

okay, confrontational is confrontational is yeah, you don't want the fuck you talk. Yeah, there's a someone would say something and you disagree. You just go, no, no, you're right. You're right. He's a little more like, I don't know about that Joe might be doing his podcast right now, which is why he's not picking up. No, it's okay. That's okay. No answer. No answer from Joe Rogan. Well, I think this is going well so far. That's okay, that's fine. Yeah, well, that's good.

We've still got to see. My dad wrote a porno. My dad wrote a porno. I always remember three. No, but we could go to like red tube or porn hub. And watch a porno together. Yeah, and just leave a message that I imagine they'll find on a video if they're watching porn Like watching porn eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have to watch any

Porn oh now unless we all Agreed that could be a comment. I'm down to watch a porn oh with my friends I agree that that could be a thing to watch a porno with my friends. Not something that I came into work wanting to do, but something that I'm happy to talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe if we just jump on... Do you want to just watch a porno? Yeah, I think we just watch a porno. All right.

Let's watch some porno then. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so be cut later, but uh, alright. Alright, so we've got, what do we got here? Mum, mum fucks son's friend. Okay, alright. Alright.

Da da da da da da. Oh listen. Heaving breasts. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Okay. There's some great production here. Heaving breasts. Okay, there's some great production here. Is this a prank call? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it will leave a... This is definitely very different from the more popular Gonzo style of pornography

that I think a lot of young people are watching today. There's some quite high production values on this pornographic video. So the story here I think is that the mum fucks bitch. Sorry. So there's two very handsome men playing video games. Boy, believe it, please. Sorry, I'm a squirrel. I was thinking of five of them.

Are they both, are they both, uh, because they both called her miss someone. It's a bit gross. It's a bit gross. This is a bit of a gross storyline. Oh Dylan, sweetie, don't ruin your appetite. It's an hour. That's the sum. You get a name, Mom.

It's a man that looks like the guy from Martin Scorsese's silence. He's a Chinese man. Look, it's a way. I need to go and stuff. He looks a lot like... Oh, yeah. Thank you.

He looks a lot like the guy from Star Wars and Martin Scorsese's silence. I think she's going to have a threesome with two of us. Now, I expected that I met perchance only one of the friends would have sex with the mom, but it looks like she may be engaging in a MMF threesome. Okay. Okay. Well, I feel like my, okay.

Okay. Do we need to watch anymore. I don't think we need to know But can you just DM me the link? Just for later just because I just want to see other story plays out Oh, as if you want a jerk it. I don't want a jerk it. I just want to check the narrative I want to see if they both have sex with the mom or just one of them does. This is a very dark plot. Number four is Hey Mission Andy. Okay, so I think we do have then numbers, we do have a means to contact them. My concern is, you know, we've got a great professional relationship with Hey Mission Andy,

and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that in any way. So I thought instead of maybe instead of prank calling them is there something we could do that's a little bit more professional. That's a good way to engage with those people. Maybe just reach out. Maybe just reach out. They're really good guys are very important in the industry and I don't want to upset. Maybe on Twitter just like, we've not pranked anyone yet. No, no, yes, this would be would be a good I think it would be funny yeah it would be funny I just to reach out and yeah something funny on Twitter on Twitter I reckon this would be great if we go hey mission Andy and tweet them just with, just write, hey, and then like, like Colin and P,

you know, the, you know, the, yeah, you know, the, the emoji that's like, both of them. Yeah, or individually. Cause they don't, they don't, all right, well let's do Andy, let's just do Andy, just write, hey, and then, and the tongue face.

Yeah, and then the, and then that little, yeah, that cute little tongue emoji. Because there's a couple, there's a couple, there's like, like, there's one more, or where it's winking, that's the winking and the tongue. No, one eye is smaller than the other. The tongue's out. No, it's just the one tongue out there, like, you know,

with winking, or both, you can, okay, here's the options, options one eye bigger than the other one I closed both eyes closed both eyes open if you just do a colon what if you just do a colon and a capital P and see what comes up what happens go old school yeah even if it is just that nothing that that that looks like the face but there. Yeah, but I do not know what all started. Can I write a hand? Hang on, hang on. What is that?

We'll put that in and then we also, I know one of them, you know, so we'll put in the P like the, because I mean, a bit. And then, and then I'll write O, and then we'll put the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, okay, cool.

Hey, how you make an Andy. Right, how you make an Andy. Yeah, they've got an account. Oh, great. Should we just in case that's like that's probably like a social media person Should we also just do at Hamish and at Andy? Yeah? Yeah, the this is funny isn't it? I just don't want to upset them. No, I think really nice guys. Oh, I think this potentially could cut them down Yeah, a peg I just think they're really good guys, and I don't want to upset them. Yeah, I think the funniest could cut him down. Yeah, a peg. I just think they're really good guys, and I don't wanna upset them. Yeah, yeah. I think the funniest thing is to be polite.

Yeah, I think it's really funny to just make sure. Hey, hey, Mission Andy, Semminkolem P, or tongue out one eye closed at Hamish Blake at Andy Lee. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah, yeah, I really like that. I just get rid of the, no, no, that's good.

Fuck you, hey, Mission Andy, take that. Yeah, take that, hey, good. Fuck you, Haydfone. You take that. Yeah, take that, Haydfone. Fuck you, Haydfone. You have to be so mad. Why are they dressed as PVC pipe in there? Their headphones. They can do whatever the fuck they want. Right, okay, yeah, I guess we did number four.

Fun fact about the headphone. If you ever seen the Hamish and Andy picture, the headphones were made by the same people who did the costumes for Glen Ridge. Ingrid Bellhouse. Really? Bellzillhoos. Did she make the headphones? She did. There you go. All right, number... It's where we're at a time. Oh, fuck! Really? We're at a time. We had barely cranked anyone. I said this, we should have gotten through the dick face stuff quicker. I said this we should have gotten through the dick face stuff quicker. I said that we needed to get to this quicker.

Barely cranked anyone. I'm happy for this to be a two-parter because I think we've got some good cranks coming out. If you want this to be number back, want this to be number back, then send this podcast to number one. Send this podcast to number one. Yeah. Yeah. Send it to your friends. Send this podcast to number one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Send it to your friends, send it to your enemies as a crank.

Yeah. Crank it. Pardon? We already discussed this. Crank call. And really, let's just, let's get this, let's get our podcast to the number one podcast in the world. I would be happy with 50, though.

50 podcast. So I just said, no, just number 50. Right. So I just want to say that if we get it to 50, I'm happy to give a moment. Well, in episode... In episode two, if we crank 20 people. Crank.

What? Crank. You said crank? Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I think I was a little... No, I'm sticking the crank. Wow, that's... No, I've been thinking about it. I think I was a little bit of a cracker. I'm sticking the crank. Wow, that's sick.

I'm sticking to it. I'm a little wave of the crank flag. Okay. Fucking hell. We didn't prank anyone, so should we? Crank. Should we end with pranking Sam Lingham just to prank someone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that'd be great. Let's cut it. What kind of prank do you want to do? I like this silly accent. Order a pizza, order a pizza. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah God, God, this is gonna be so good

Hey, bro Hi I like to order pizza Hey, bro, John, no Shut up Um... This is a... Is that a tomato?

No, it's Sam Hey, um, Michelangelo Hey, go back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back Oh My god Going back I don't want him to think he's a pizza shop That we'd be going back going back going back Frank What fuck what movies are you showing at the movies? Sorry, are you showing any pull that? That was wild What a rush you guys one oh my god

Why are you hanging out You got to hang out man. You press the button. You press the you press you pick it up hang it back up I'm sorry. I don't go again. Yeah one more time. Oh my god. Oh, it's time for me. I got this. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I Is you know how they just yeah, you just have to call the So yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't stuff yeah, that's what I was going for yeah, he's gonna be so mad Oh my god, oh my god, hey, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Sam Sam. I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I think you are sorry. Oh god. He's so mad. He's gonna be so mad He's gonna be so mad on Monday. Tell him it's us hang up hang up hang up. Oh, I'm up. All right

He's gonna be so mad on Monday in home room What mr. Lingerm What he's gonna be so mad at us in home room and on Monday. Oh That's my game Monday. Oh yeah. That doesn't like game. Oh, I think I'm going to hang up. Fucking hell. That was so close. I think we got away with it. I don't

think he knows what was up. That was bad. Yeah, because there's like bad. Sometimes there's crank calls that are like funny. And then there's other ones that are like main and and and like main spirit. main spirit and the bad of hot when you were calling him

that was bad it was hot it was bad oh god god I just I just feel like I need to fuck now I've just got all this paved up sexual energy I just need to fuck oh my god it gets me off it really fucking gets me going this shit my god oh my god whoo oh me off, it really fucking gets me going this shit. My god. Oh my god. Oh boys get out of the room because I'm gonna fuck some horny. I get to me real fucking going.

Hey, can we go home? Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm bursting out of my fucking pants. My fucking god. Oh my god, yes. I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone for tuning in to probably our horniest podcast here. Oh God, this was hornier than the anime even Neon Genesis, even Galigan. Even Galigan, Neon Genesis. Neon Genesis, it's about as hornier's that.

Thanks for making us number eight on Spotify and number 70 on Apple. And of course the world. And of course thank you to everyone, every single person following us on Snapchat. Yeah. Around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world who has been listening and supporting us getting us to number 70 on Apple Podcasts and number 8. Let's bring down Rosie Waterland, come on everyone. Ane Donna is for the outsiders, those that are different.

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