Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 210 - Marky's Big Movie Video Game Adventure PART 1

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Part 1 featuring Mark, Biffo, Spiffo, Mum and Dad! To be concluded... patreon.com/auntydonna auntydonna.com haventyoudonewell.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Tom, can you put some sort of Danny Alphman, a suburbia, but not quite what it seems, 90s music under this? Maybe be less specific, because... You've used that few references, yeah. That... You can Google Danny Alphman,

Suburbia, Yeah, but then you're going to get Batman Returns. It's just I know Tom. I know Tom. There is no way on earth that reference. Who will resonate with you? Well, let's just see. Let's see what he put in the right.

Alright, let's see. Let's see what Tom puts in. Let's roll the fucking dice. Alright, and here see, let's see what's on the... Let's roll the fucking dice! Alright, and here comes the music. Okay, cool. Welcome to a world that you do not quite understand. The suburbs of Melbourne. Ha ha ha!

Mark Bonanno is a regular nerd. He likes comic books and video games, but little does he know that in just a few moments his boring suburban life is about to change forever. Why? Well that's what we're about to discover. What do you mean? Take it away Mark. Please don't talk to the narrator. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. I just did a little bit of narration there to set it up, you know, basically.

We just, we should discuss the particulars of the conventions before we begin the podcast otherwise. I get all confused. I'm just saying you're a regular suburban kid. It's exactly what we agreed to. All right, okay. All right, I didn't want to try and upset you. I wasn't trying to upset you. I wasn't trying to upset you.

Well, you have upset me. Here, right, I'm walking home from school. I'm walking home from school and I was, not, not, hey loser. Oh, no, it's my bully. It's, it's big, bad bully. That's a little bully. It's, and your name is... Mr. Biffo.

Mr. Biffo Christmas. Um, hey loser. Oh no, it's a turd. It's a, it's a talking turd. I'm a talking turd. And also Biffo's brother. Oh no. Biffo. Oh guys.

We're Biffo and Spiffo. What are you doing with all those video games nerd? I've just I'm just on my way home from blockbuster video where I got two weekly video games on Nintendo 64 I wanted to play right wave ray 64 and I wanted to try Golden eyes well because Good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good I'm going to give you a nookie. Don't give me a nookie. I certainly do. No one likes you at school and no one will ever like you ever.

She is the one who just goes home and kiss my ass. Give him a nookie. Make him kiss your ass before. Because here's the thing Mark. We're Biffo and Spiffo. Oh no. We're in a couple of regular bullies, that's what we do. That's right. We come to school to be bullies.

Yeah. But you're a little bit confused I see. So now we're going to explain it to you in song. Oh no. Hey there Mark, you're a big big old loser you're never gonna make it So why don't you goose your dog a scum and I don't like you Get on out of here because I don't like you We're Biffo and spiffo a couple bullies. We're here to say that you're fully.

We don't care about anything at school. Graids, nope. Full, full, full. Full. Oh, you. Let me tell you, Marky B, you're a loser. You make me wanna pee on your face like the power of one.

I'm not. Just kidding. Because you're stupid. You don't, and your face to skin implies you don't see the sun. Oh, here's the things that are very cool. Kissing girls, reading FHM. Yeah. Here's the things for a nerdy fool, computer games, and go in a school. Well, you think that I'm not cool But I got something to tell you full. I've got a copy of Batman comic where you see

Bruce Wayne's penis now explain to me how that isn't cool to see the penis of a man who's not a fool Batman you want to see his penis? I can show it to you! It's, it's, it's, it's, I've got a- Oh Mark, you really do make me cringe. All of the skills that you've acquired in the video game world, they'll never apply in your real life. Come on, Spiffo. Let's go play Baseball. Yeah, let's go play, um, Baseball and Kiss Girls and hey hey even buy some beer and read FHM. Just to reiterate, the things that you're good at have no real life of value. My video game skills. Well, you're good at, you understand video games, right?

You're smart, but you can't get the girl. So, yeah, actually, you go Biffo, you tell him like what he's not good at. I'll tell him what he can't get in the real world. Yes. Those will be the two sort of motivations for him. Hey, Mark, you can't wait. What do I say?

What you were on, I just sort of realized that I was totally out something different. I think. I've got to get home. I understand that. Bye. No, no, do you think? No, I would give him the set up.

Do you think the set up? No, he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear it. I'm not, no, if I, if I, if I, I'm not saying I don't want to hear it, I'm sorry if I have to say, I feel like all I've done has come in here of upset you guys, was my intention. I absolutely want you to speak your piece, mate.

You know? Okay, well, I appreciate you saying that, Mark, I really do. And thank you for listening. No, thank you. And thanks to Biffo as well for really drilling down. I think it's really important to get these points clear. Sometimes what I'm thinking is- Can I just apologise? I just want to apologise. I came into help with

this situation, but Biffo was listing your character flaws, I believe. What's going to happen is they're going to become- Yeah, and what I was listing was the things you can't get. He was listing your challenges for getting them. I was listening. We were talking about two different things. So we've compartmentalized that before and spiff. Biffo is going to talk to your lack of abilities, your lack of skills, and how in his mind, they don't have a real world application. This is the 90s, my bullies, it gets better. Yeah, I wasn't really cut through yet. Because I was gonna say that stuff might potentially hurt

my feelings, but I imagine that's the intention. It's a Machuvellian thing. Okay, great. The ends justify the meaning. Yeah, yeah, sorry, just trying to get on the same page. All right, let's do thisian thing. Okay, great. The ends justify the mean. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just trying to get on the same page All right, let's do this mark. Yeah, you are good at things on computers the digital realm Thank you gaming. It's true. You can't run you can't You can't fight real people no too small and measly and I'm I think that you have no value in the real world and the things

you're good at have no value. Okay. I appreciate that. No, check one. Oh, sorry, Mark. No, I'm just saying I appreciate that. I hear that. As your bully, it's my role to clarify these things. Be foe. Can I just ask a really quick question? Are these the things that he is then going to,

is this more about when he comes back out and there's a scene where we recon pruns him after what's gonna happen in the middle? And then he uses what he learned in the middle to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to,o, spiffo, you're exactly right. He's going to learn a way to... I'm right here. You don't have to say he. Sorry, I just want to... Sorry.

Now this is really... Talk about... Silly Mark. I understand, you know, he's a cat's mother very good. I understand your concern, but you need to understand we are being accommodating. We are giving you space. We are giving you space. We are listening to your concerns. But at the core here, this is really.

A lot of bullies wouldn't do this. Yeah, this is a relationship. No, look, I get that. I get that I am privileged. I'm like, guess how lucky I am to have bifones bifo. I don't speak up. As my school year of bullies, right? I'm not yelling.

I'm not yelling. I'm sorry, I'm a little hot blooded. I'm Italian, That's just my nature It's my style. When you drop a piece of salmon, you're like oh damn it when I do, you know, I fly off the lid But I'm not mad at it. It's just my culture That's just how we are. I mean look it up. It's all over the internet. I get it I understand I know how lucky and privileged I am all I'm saying is just that little bit extra bit of respect You know, you're talking about me. I'm sending right here, you're saying,

hey, you can just call me by my name. That's all I ask. I don't think that's much more. I'm hearing that as a need, right? I understand that, but I worry if I show you that level of respect, am I a bully anymore? Well, I mean, you have to respect the nature of this relationship. And I think we've given you a lot. Okay. All right. I guess I haven't thought about it. I haven't thought about it in that way because that did hurt my feelings. But I guess when I think

about it, you know, it doesn't matter where you're hurting my feelings as long as my feelings are hurt. That's like saying this pie nourished me. Mm. Yeah. Mm. Yeah, that is the role of the pie. Oh, look, hey. I appreciate you guys hearing me out on that. Thank you for clarifying that. It really means a lot to me. Please continue.

Can I, well, we will continue, right? 100%. I mean, with the bullies. Bifo and spiffo. Bifo and spiffo. We are the, we're setting up your journey, right? Mm. The thing that is important for me to communicate to you now. We are the setting up your journey, right? The thing that is important for me to communicate to you now is that we promise you we're going

to have an internal audit on this. We're going to sit down and we're going to discuss in future, should we refer to Mark as Mark, should we involve him in these conversations? I mean, I would like to be there for that audit. It is internal, unfortunately. It's important that the sacredness of that. Well, see, and this is my whole issue with this relationship is that there are conversations happening that I feel is imperative that I'm a part of. I mean, I am being, I'm the one being bullied.

I am a, no, I'm sick of not being respected. My role in this relationship. Okay, I'm marginal again, Mark. Can we just communicate? Don't call me emotional when I'm just passionate. Yeah. Great. Great, Mark.

Let Bifho speak. Bifho? You're being a bully. Thank you. You're being a real bully. Let Biffo speak. Biffo? You're being a bully. You're being a real bully. Yes! I take offense to that. I'm sorry, that's the point.

No, no, no, I take offense to that. Yeah. I take offense to that. Oh, okay. Anyway, Mark, do you feel like it's important for you to have a relationship with your barista and your barista's boss? No, you just get your-

Well, you didn't let me answer. But yeah. I'm telling you the answer. It's not so much, do you think it's important? It's, do you have a right to their conversation? You're a consumer. Your relationship is an external one, okay? It is within the right of the barista and their manager

to have conversations. Absolutely your feedback is welcome. Absolutely, your patronage is important. They're listening to you. But they then need to have conversations about best practice. We're not different from that. We have different people. We have different people.

We have internal discussions. You're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different.

We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different.

We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. We're different. That's not anything on you guys. I just want to make sure that, that, because while I trust you guys,

I just, for my peace of mind, need to know that, that legally, what's happening I'm within my rights. And it's kind of just, I just want to know what my rights are. I hope that's not personal. I hope that's okay.

Again, I don't have to be telling you this, but I think it's important that I do. I do speak to a solicitor, just so I know, just so I know, for my peace of be telling you this, but I think it's important that I do speak to a solicitor just just so I know Just so I know for my peace of mind, you know legally where I stand on this because it doesn't feel right to me Yeah, right here's the thing man, and maybe this will help clarify things You're within your right to do that. Thank you I'm not gonna ask to be present within those meetings with the lawyer. Sorry. I should clarify before I continue to speak

We're Bifo and spiffo. We're 13 years old. We're like stocky. Stocky, a little bit fat. Red curly hair. Red curly hair, freckles, backwards caps and skateboards. We're Biffo and Spiffo. You know, there are probably cutscenes in this story where you discover that actually are bads abouly and we're just tri- but that's not for this film and this podcast, this narrative, so we will cut that because really our role is to propel you forward. So we're short little 13 year old boys.

Stoky, Bifo and Spiffo. Which is which? I'm Spiffo. Right, there we go. He's Biffo. And you're Spiffo. So here's the thing, right? You are within your rights to talk to the lawyer and we're within our rights to have internal audience. You're within your right to give us feedback. And you're absolutely within your right, not to come to us. You can find any bully. There's about three or four bullies in the school. Thank you, Spifford. We don't have a bully monopoly.

If you're unhappy with our service, you can go to any other bully. Okay? Great. Here's my concern. Spifford. Bullying. I'm Spifford. I've got Red. Spiffa. Bullying. I'm spiffa. I've got red curly hair, a backwards cap.

I'm stocky and 13. Quite a good actor for your age. What's this? Quite a good actor for your age. Quite a good actor for your age. You actually auditioned for Mark's role. Yes. But obviously you were too stocky.

You know, red head, you know, like, you know, a point of difference as opposed to the lead. He performed it well, but you just in the director's mind, you weren't what, uh, visually they were looking for. Yeah. I look like, um, all the bullies from mid-90s, um, children's television and no bully you ever actually met. Yeah. So, it's like what Christopher M was casting Batman, you know, he saw one act, he was like, he's not right, but I will cast him as the villain. That's kind of what's at the Batman again with the Batman. So I legit have, I could legit show you Batman's appears. This is the thing right when 90s bullies and you best be happy we're not using some of

the words that 90s bullies and you best be happy we're not using some of the words that 90s bullies used. You know we're editing that for fear of you know. So yeah yeah offending people. So here's a thing alright Mark. Yes it's real this home. It's real this home. Yes in the real world 2020 you, comic book movies are very popular. Batman, the cool kids like Batman, it's a very boyish thing. Masculinity is morphed to, you can talk stats, whether it be your shed or your football or your favorite comic books or your games, you know, it's morphed, it's evolved, it's still toxic, but it's evolved.

This is not that world. In this world? You like comics? We don't. Um-hum. Comics are nerdy. This is a little more... This is a little more reflection, not of the 90s, but more reflection of the people

writing and their experience of growing up in the 70s. So that's what you've got to understand is the 90s on television was actually the 70s lived experience. Does that make sense, Mark? Yeah, I understand that. You don't have to be conscious of that. In the same way that, if I wrote a children's story now, I would be writing my truth, which is going outside, riding a bike, perhaps, you know, playing a sport, I'd have no connection to the gaming world. So children watch and say,

I don't really understand this, I don't understand online gaming, I don't understand, you know, like, why isn't he doing these things, whereas that wasn't my truth. So when you see a 90 story, you're actually getting a 70's story in a lot of ways. A great example is, you know, the Donny Darko, when we were young, Donny Darko was said in the 80s, and that was quite refreshing, because very little things were said in the 80s at that point, because that generation that grew up in the 80s was just coming up. And if I can add to that spiffo, the 80s film, 80s film, what is the most common setting, the 50s,

back to the future, stand by me, Peggy Sue, so many films said in the 50s because the 80s is the people who grew up in the 50s. It's a universal story. They're telling their story. And it's happening now with the 90s. That is what's happening. I mean, you look at pen 15.

You look at things like... 2000s? We're in the 2000s now. We're getting the 2000s. Yeah, the late 90s. The late 90s early 2000s. It's very interesting. You watch...

I saw an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 when they were replaying it on Channel 11. And, and, and, and, and, Remake or the, Spiffa, the original. Oh, the original, yes, yes, yes. What's 11? It's the 90s.

Oh, for sure, absolutely. I'm so sorry. Well, I just, I was watching it recently. It was on television. There you go. Thank you so. And that episode was all about they had flashbacks to the late 60s. It was the idea of who would we be if we were in the summer of love 1969. And I thought, what's interesting about this, I had a sort of a realization that, you know, if I was watching this in 2017, I'd go 20 years from now. 20 years from now. I'd go, oh, the 60s is an abstract concept. What's interesting is, you know, in the early 90s, their relationship to the 60s is comparable to someone in 2010's relationship to the late 90s early 2000s

Yeah, it there's a sort of this 20 year loop. It happens in fashion in art in film This this dialogue with 20 years previous if it's okay I'm gonna work kick both of you on the balls and run. No. No. No. No. No Hey I'm balls. I'm balls. I'll get you, Mark. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Mark. If you're Mark, I'm just gonna quickly say,

you'll never get a girlfriend. Yeah. You will never get in a fight. Yeah. You will never, that's about it. Yeah. You'll never be good. Oh, my big deal. Yeah, yeah.

You're on the fucking balls. Yes, and that balls. And that balls. Before I said again, can you just clarify that side? Yes, so I'm gonna talk about that. My balls hurt me, although. But pretty much you're not good at real life things, you're only good at things in a video game.

Yep. And we're gonna get him back. You best not come to school tomorrow, because we will... K- Murdo, what are you? What? We're gonna murder you.

I-ya! I-ya! Oh my balls! My balls, my balls, my balls, my balls! My balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls! My balls! Oh, now I feel left out. Does anyone want to kick me in the balls? No, no. No, we're gonna murder you tomorrow. Oh now I feel left out. Does anyone want to kick me in the balls? No, no, we're gonna murder you tomorrow

Jesus you can go off be worried about that and go on your journey. We're giving you an ins we're giving you Motivation yeah, no, I just I just felt a little bit of balls hurt so bad Biffos befoys hurt You can give me prostate cancer Well, just if you just that's just weighing to a footy player once, did it really? Were they wanking enough? Because on Flick the towel and when he's balls

and he got prostate cancer he died. So he's fucking killed me. He's a thing that's not. His balls. So bullying to us is not a bully, it's not a die, what's the word when it's two opposing ideals? Uh, die, uh, I don't see more on, I don't know what you're talking about. No, no, no, it's sort of a, a ball's hurt.

No, absolutely. Christmas time. Oh, I don't know. A bullying is a spectrum, right? Uh-huh. And if we give you too much, we want to be put like an open, but if we give you too much, are we even bullies anymore? Fucking balls hurt.

His balls hurt. I think we wrap this up. I think it's a good time to wrap this up. I need to put some ice on my balls. Look, it's 22 minutes in, Mark. Yeah, look, I think it's good for us to wrap this up. Yeah, I was kicking you in the balls in an attempt to sort of wrap it up. How long is this moving in a B? We'll see you At school to murder you. Oh, he's running away. So we're getting quiet

I've run away. Thankfully that all happened in my In the in the front yard of my house because I'm home already and I'm just talking to myself because I'm a nerd and I'm weird and I'm extra School. Oh, hey dad. Get a chumper. It's me regular dad. Oh, I'm well. I was Hey, oh, I got to dad I got to dad's Yeah, I'm just talking to head boys. That's my dad's. That's been up.

Ah, hi. Hi, mom. How are you? Good. Good. H, Mark. Chopper. I love you.

How was school? What are you working today? Well, I learnt about, uh, Triggandometry. I learned about the X-axis and the Y-axis. I learned about Sin, Cos, and getting a tan. Stop it. I got a call from Mr. Johnson. He told me you haven't handed in work in three weeks. You just do scribbles of cartoon characters on your tests.

I'm so dad, mum, mum and dad. I'm mum. I'm mum. it in work in three weeks. You just do scribbles of cartoon characters on your tests. I'm so dad, mum, mum and dad. I'm mum. I'm mum. Hey, I'm mum. Mum and or as a trade spend. Every day I'm done. And I don't understand you with your video games. With your nerd stuff. Video games are like an art. Video game is like an art and you'll never understand. They tell, well, you go to your boring job everyday,

stacking champagne in the factory. He's been stacking, hey, don't you diminish your father's work. He's one of the finest champagne stackers. It's southern hemisphere. It's boring. It's boring. You're working for the man. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

He looks fucking upset. Your dad went to university for nine years become a doctrine champagne stacking all right He can he can stack Moe. He can stack yellow. He can stack pink any champ as you want And can I just say can I just say with that degree when I got that in my home country with that degree? Yeah, yeah, he's from another country. I could own the champagne stack in business. That's the level of expertise I had. I came to this country when your mother,

when your mother and I met while she was backpacking. I came to this country with a degree and they showed no respect for that, okay? And all I got was a low-level champagne stacking job. You don't understand the pain I've been in. Now, Mark. Yep. Listen, get your head out of those clouds.

Ain't nothing gonna get you money from those things. You're not gonna let the other make the career Well, this is what happens, Mark, listen This is what this whole area of the story is about What? Oh, you are too much, Mark We're giving you a hero's journey and you're just blocking You're just shitting it away

You're shitting it away You're just shitting it away Alright, well you're off and you're boring nine to five jobs Don't question us now, you're off at your boring nine-to-five jobs, well, you're gonna make it. Don't question us now. You do that at the end. What?

At the moment, you've got, you don't stand up for yourself. You learn to stand up for your drive. No, I'm, all right. You keep, can I just say something Mark? I'm, I'm your dad. And I'm your boss. I'm your boss. First generation Australian.

Okay. And what are your real names? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you never know, dad.. You never know that's what we're accredited as, mom and dad. Okay. So here's the thing, right? I just saw through the window that interaction with the bullies. They had to work really really. You didn't do anything.

Mark, just hear me out here, man. Listen to your father. They had to work really hard to make you kicking them in the balls. Yeah. Still work as motivation because you just you just dealt with the bullies through a kick to the balls. So they had to create this murder plot now. Well the thing was the thing was that the thing was that the bullies were fucking going on about some bullshit. I can't. Right. So put it on them.

Put it on them. Put it on them. So what was I in that situation? What was I supposed to do? I don't know, maybe not jump to the third act. All right. There's only a limit amount of tools I have in my toolbox. Mark, listen.

Mark, listen. I reached in, I pulled out kick up in the balls. I'm sorry, mum. All you need to know from us is that we are disappointed in you and your execution of schoolwork, generally the way you're conducting yourself. We don't understand. We don't understand you.

And we don't know the bullying situation. Well, we do now. Yes, yes. Forced us to know about the bullying. Well, we do now. Yeah, yeah. Forced us to know about the bullying. Well, they can't kill me. And you said you listened to it. Doesn't matter. I don't think it was necessary for you

to kick one of them in the falls 28 times. Can I, can I, I think I've got to. If I were them, I would want to kill you. Right, all right. But now, but now to be fair, all right, can I just say what I have done? Oh my goodness, yes. I'm sorry, but what I were them, I would wanna kill you. Right, all right. But now, to be fair, all right, can I just say, what I have done. Oh my goodness, yes.

I'm sorry, but what I have done, what I have done, right, is well, maybe it would have also worked if the bullies just bullied me and then I went home upset. They have now threatened to kill me. Take that up with the bullies. They have put your solicitor. I will take it up with my solicitor.

They've threatened to kill you. They've threatened to kill me, which makes me terrified. Gives me stakes. Mark, okay, yes, they did come up with something. Now, we are in a position where we know about the bully. Haguea! Oh my balls!

Oh my balls! Oh my balls! Kiss in the balls! My balls! Can I just stop the story. Kissing the balls, my balls. Can I just stop the story for a very quick second? This one's from one of me, if something. When I was eight, I was in intensive care in hospital because I was dying, I was being asked

as blood from blood poisoning, right? Safety is. Anyway, there was a kid across from me who inhaled rocks. I've had rocks in his lungs. He was a bit of a crazy kid, right? Anyway. During the night he started screaming out and then the nurses came in and he said,

Get off me! I'll kick you in the dick! To this lady nurse. And I remember I was in summer, I was like, I thought it was so funny. I'll kick you the dick! Anyway, please, jump back in. Jumping back in. Oh, Mark, my balls, my balls.

Mark, please let us just take a moment to plan how we can make this a motivating factor for you. Is that okay if you just give us one moment? I think it's pretty obvious. Well, okay, we're happy to hear your offers. What's this? Well, now I've created a world for myself, where now I've created a world for myself.

We're not only potentially do my bullies want to kill me, but now my mum and dad as well, because I've been wrestling more people that want to kill you. Yeah, the stakes even higher now. So now I need a place to escape, which I always go when I go to my room and I play video games,

but now there's stakes to that. Yeah, but both stakes are the same. You don't need the parent characters then. You just give us a moment to try and work this into something equally good, but just subtly different to the murder. As long as it is accepted that I've kicked both my parents in the balls. 100% you kicked us in the balls.

Right. We're taking that, in the bulls. Right. We're taking that, we're yes- Sending it. My bulls hurt her. We just need a minute to really get out of this bulls hurt. I can't deny that my bulls hurt. Mum, can I talk to you for a moment? What would you call me, Mum?

Because that's your only name. Well, I feel like you have now put into the world that by referring, you need to call me Lisa now. I can't believe you said it. Lisa. Yes, Lisa. Yes, Trent. And now Mark, now I'm Lisa, he's Trent. These are all things that you've created.

And this is very hard for us to get our heads around. I've done some notes. Okay, I've done some notes, Lisa. Yes, Trent. Okay, we've seen the bullying. So we need to think of, so originally I was going to come in with something along the lines of we're not aware of why he's struggling at school. But now that we've seen the bullying, we've got to work around that.

Also we've been kicked in the balls. So I think it's just, oh, why can't you get your head out of the clouds? I think that's just, oh, why can't you get your head out of the clouds? I think that's it. I would also just add a little bit of the ball kicking. Yeah, I would also just add a layer of like, and this is because I introduced the first generation thing, a bit of a, you don't understand where your dad is coming from. He's had a really tough life. And work ethic, the work ethic that he's used to.

So I've seen the bullying, and I'm of the opinion, I'm gonna come in with something like, I'm of the opinion that you should murder the bullies back. And he's like, you'll never understand, you don't get it, you're stupid. And then you say something like, or we just talk to the fact that, you know, because I think,

am I coming from a war-torn country? I don't, I don't, I think Sweden or somewhere white. Oh, you don't wanna go, I'm not gonna say which country, but I say you don't wanna go with like the refugee angle. What about the Forklens? That's white and war. Okay, you move it before.

I'll accept the Forklens Islands. Okay, so I'm from the Forklens. I came from war. He doesn't understand that, so I'm from the Forklens. I came from war. He doesn't understand that's where I'm at. It's not a populous story. Do you understand that? That's not going to relate to this. No, I get that.

I mean, I get that. I would have loved, you know, but what can I do? What can I do? I'm from the Forklens. He doesn't understand. His journey is how does he stand up to the bullies? And how does he come to understand where his parents are coming from? It's a journey of understanding. And maybe, maybe just as a little lay of me, when you say, excuse me, we're talking.

Mark. I feel like I should have input in this. Okay. Yeah, but I feel like Mark. Mark. Be aware, Mark. have input in this. Okay. Yeah, I feel like Mark. Mark. Be aware, Mark. Anything you say is canon. If you're not careful here, you could make this harder for us. I'm not convinced that I'm going to speak my concealer. I'm going to speak to my solicitor. Mike, what I'm saying to you is, do you think you need you? We're having our parent, a mother, father conversation. Do you talk to your barista when he's having a chat to his manager about how the business should be run? I mean, is it about my coffee? Is it about the coffee that's coming my way?

You are more than about the coffee than I've got to be so. I'm on the coffee you've had, but you don't have the right to be part of a conversation between barista and manager and the way that they are producing the coffee. If you don't like the process, Mark. Yeah.

Too bad for you. That's fine. If you don't like the process, Mark. Yeah. Too bad for you. That's fine. If you don't like the result, go somewhere else. That's your right. Literally millions of parents in this world, you can go to them, okay? That's canon now. Okay.

So Mark, when you come in here, yeah, and you're not a wall flower, you're not a, oh, right, you create a situation where now the narrative is you're a delinquent, and that's very hard to understand how your journey is going to help you with your delinquency of kicking your parents in the balls. I'm not saying, like, look, this is improv. Yes, and you can do whatever you want. I'm just saying it's very challenging that you didn't come in here and go, sorry, mom, sorry, you kicked us in the balls.

You've challenged us and we are trying very hard to give you a journey here. But I don't understand. I'm struggling to know what it is. Does this make sense to you yes great we'll go to your room get your head out of the clouds fine you'll never never understand what it was like to fight in the forklens you're a privileged little boy before I go to my room before I go to my room. I'm half forklin. I'm half forklin.

I'm half forklin. You're half knife, half fork. I'm half knife, half fork, and I come from lund. And before I go, I just want to, hey, yeah! Hey, yeah! Oh, my balls! My balls, my balls, yeah.

You need to find ways to deal with situations other than kicking people in the balls. Oh, I'm in my room. Oh God. My parents don't understand me, so I had to kick them in the balls. They think my head's in the clouds, but it's not. I just love video games and comics. And one day, one day I'm going to show them.

One day I'm going to pick up that video game, and I'm going to be in the video game, and I'm going to play it. And it's going to be like be it. It's gonna be like It's gonna be like just not playing the game I feel like it's important for my character to have a monologue We just we just gave you all that motivation and now We just gave you all that motivation and now now Get out of my room!

Get out of my room! It says, don't do no enter! No parents allowed! Yeah, it's fair enough, bros. I'm sorry. I pick up my PlayStation controller. Oh, it feels good and comfortable in my hands. It's the only thing that makes me so say.

Dad, mom! Fuck off! It's the only thing that makes me feel so. Oh, no, no, no, no. Hello? Hey, buddy. I'm sorry that I got mad at you before. That's alright, Dad.

I know that second champagne ain't easy for the best of them. Listen, your mum's making sausage rolls. Oh. From scratch? Do you want a couple of sausage rolls? Yeah, of course. Get the fuck out of the room. Get the fuck out of the sausage rolls. From scratch. Do you want a couple of sausage rolls? Yeah, of course. Yeah, get the fuck out of the room. Get the fuck out of the room.

Let's do it. Let's do it. No, you stay the fuck there. So this is good though. So what's gonna happen is he's gonna get sucked in. And then I'm gonna come in. I've got your sausage, and you're not there. And the tight shot of the sausage rolls

falling on the ground, maybe. And do you even wanna just throw in a quick fuck you to me? Like, I'm trying to extend the olive branch. It might help. I just think it'll help. Male broden. It's a male broden. Fuck you. No, not you.

Not you broden. Well, broden's not here. I'm trying to think of, I think fuck you, you want to. I think fuck you was good. I'm trying to think of something that's a bit more my character, something my character would do when there are no set. No, no, keep you in the balls. I'm trying to think of. It's a bit more my character, something my character would do when they're upset. I'm trying to think of... I'm trying to keep you in the balls.

I mean, I think that's in terms of continuity and consistency within the character. Absolutely, man. So I'll just say, I'll just tell you about, you know what, I got a little stress, you were a bit... I got a little angry at you there mate. Your mum's making some sausage rolls, you know what, I got a little stress. You're a little angry at you there mate. Your mum's making some sausage rolls, you want some. I'd love some and dad before you go. Yeah.

Hayah. Ah, my balls! And that's like a gentle, that's like a different kick in the balls. That's like a, you know, that's like a wallet to fuck you. It's also like a, I know, that's like a, while it's a fuck you, it's also like a, I love you. Okay. Okay.

Is that okay to do like, and I love you kick you in the balls? I don't get it. I don't get it, but you know, it's the, what do you mean? Tap a string. What do you mean you don't get it? Let the fans work that out. That's for them to dig into.

How you are? I missed. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, my balls are good. I'm gonna go to the shed. What are you gonna do there? Weep. Oh, okay.

This is the point, you know, I'm a human too, but we all get there. That character, that's good, three dimensionality. Play the game, play the game. I'm playing the video game now. Oh, be boob. Hey, why don't you play this new game? Hey, hey PlayStation. Oh man, that's such a rough day today.

Boo boo boo boo boo! This is a different kind of game. One to be cool, one to kiss the girls, one to not really be as cool as the police. No. Oh, hello? Please play this game, please. right. I pick up a PlayStation controller Maybe haven't seen this game before maybe this is weird. We're just throwing it out there

We're sick so so it's a game So it's a specific game like it's a different game that's Because I was just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think we just need to get the mechanics of how I get sucked in. So there's like a magical game that appears. Jumanji! It's such a Jumanji man! The game captures all the games, so we can do a bit of everything! I was going under the assumption that because of the way that I'm feeling and the shitty day I've had, just my regular PlayStation.

Okay, no that's fine, that's my thing. That's what I thought, but I'm happy to go down there I find the magic game. Good if it's a magical game. I think that clarifies some things, but it is your choice. My PlayStation was just talking to me. Yeah, okay, no that was, no, no, no, no, no, it was just saying stuff, it wasn't talking to you.

Okay, right. It was just like, you want to play a game? Like, you know, to, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, God, it feels good in my hands. It's the only place I feel at home. What's this? There's a game here called Jumanji. No, not Jumanji, man. Not fucking Jumanji. You said Jumanji. I said Jumanji. Like Jumanji. Okay, all right.

I pick up a game. It's called Jumanji. Much better. Much better. And I like it. I like it. I don't remember buying this game nor reading about it on IGN, which is a little gaming website there. Good. Good. That's good for the nerds.

We're hoping, sorry, can I just do a quick shout out to the audience? Yeah. You've got any nerd friends? I recommend this podcast to show them this. We're trying to get more nerd fans. Well, I think we've got, we've, we've pep it in there a couple of references that you might really appreciate as a big fucking nerd. So I put my, uh, Jumanju into, into the machine. And then that's what you just, just said, but okay. Isn't it? Why don't you go with Zathura? I like Zathura. That's original. I like that. No, but that's just a monkey in space. They're not like it. I think Zathura is good. All right. I put in Zathura

into my place later. Yeah, Zathura. Zathura? No, it's good. Zathura. Zathura? Zathura? Wait, are you saying, is it Thuru? Or Thura? Is it Thura? Is it Thuru? Thuru?

If it's a Thuru, that's good. That's not real. That's not real. No. Zaluri Thuru. No. Is it Thuru? No.

Is it Thuru? I put the game. Zaluri Thuru no This is a through I Put the game I put the fucking game Into my playstation what's happening? Oh No, oh no, I'm so worried about the bullies that are gonna kill me and my parents I have my head in the clouds and I'm so stressed out and I'm getting sucked into the video again. He's being sucked off.

I'm getting sucked off into the video, okay. Okay Tom, if you can check in now. To be continued. Yeah, yeah. So to be continued, Tom, if you can chuck in now some like, Danny Alphman, but futuristic music. And Danny Alphman, futuristic music, and we'll go, as Mark gets sucked into the video game, who knows what will happen next week. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

I mean, if you want, it's up to you.