Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 213 - Doctor Broden

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

A normal podcast brought to you from a perfectly normal general practice. patreon.com/auntydonna haventyoudonewell.com auntydonna.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Ah, beautiful. 7.30 in the morning. Ah, good to be at work. Very good to be at work. Now, Tom, if you could play some sort of music, I'm going to create a song. And you now need to put music to it.

Him. It's Dr. Broden, Dr. Broden. Look at him at his work. What wonderful people will come to work to see Dr. Broden. He helps people with their illnesses for every single day. It's Dr. Broden, Dr. Broden. Let's see who's gonna be here today. Oh, just have to tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. Morning Secretary Sally.

Good morning, Dr. Broden, and my, can I say, you have, you are looking swall this morning. Oh thank you yes I did go to my local Pilates this morning. Pilates I think is the best way to stay fit. How's my schedule looking today Secretary Sally? Oh, I hope you're a cabri dairy milk fan because it's chocka block. Yeah. Well, sugar is a sometimes food. No, I wasn't saying I was saying, did you understand the pun man?

There's nothing wrong with a little bit of chocolate now and then, but in a healthy, balanced diet. Mark, I mean, Sally? Yes. I can't wait to get started. I'll be in my office. Um, okay. Uh, just oh before you go in there Huh? What the hell is this? Raw

Oh no a dinosaur. I'm a big dinosaur. I forgot to tell you Mr. Velociraptor, snagged his toe when a tabletop. Oh, well, I'll be right to it. Now, first things first, take a seat, dinosaur Velociraptor. A roar, I'm a dinosaur, roar. Okay, great, take a seat. Okay, yes.

Now, first thing I have to do is, have you been in contact with anyone in COVID for the last two weeks? No, not that I aware of. I've pretty much been self-isolating on Jurassic Park. Like a roar. And you haven't been overseas at all in the last two weeks? Yes, I've been in Jurassic Park, roar. But not overseas, so just not overseas literally.

Is this office in Australia or is it on Jurassic Park? No, no, it's just in Fairfield Station Street. Well then yes, I have been overseas. I've been at Jurassic Park. Which the island Jurassic Park in the middle of the ocean. Okay, okay. Well, I'm first things first I'm gonna need you to after this. I'm gonna send you home. I'm gonna need you to self isolate for two weeks But I'm also just gonna get a swab

Test you for COVID There you go put that in your bag, and I've got to get that right back. I'm sorry about that Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Ah, that's fine. I understand Ruh. And now I'm just going to, I'm just one up the nose as well. Now this one goes pretty far. Just careful.

Just so I've got a deviated. So, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, sorry about that. That's a no. So, okay, so your toes a bit sore as well. So what happened was I was trying to spray acid on Newman's face. And while I was doing that, I stubbed my toe, yes,

I did get a thorn in my toe. Oh, okay. Spray, I'll have a look at that. I'll have a look at that. If you just hop up on the bed here. Yeah, no, is, do you know Newman? From Seinfeld? I know the actor Wayne Knight, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Seinfeld. I know the actor Wayne Knight. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah be healthy and healthy, but this toe looks a bit swollen, maybe a little bit infected.

I would just put a bit of better teen on that velociraptor. But please just head straight home and you will need to stay at home for the next two weeks. If you do have any symptoms, please call Secretary Sally and let me know. I'll see you soon. We're bogg billing obviously, so no need to play anything up front. Do you know a URL of Newman though from Sunfeld? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Is it coming, is it coming America? I think it's here in Australia as well. Yeah, no, I've seen all of Sunfeld's on Stan.

Oh right, yeah, Newman, I sprayed acid on his face. Okay, we're lovely to see you. Take care. Hi, hoo, bye-bye. Secretary Sun, I'm going gonna need you to just mark down. The loss of raptor has been tested for COVID-19 for a short period of time. Okay, right, yeah, yeah. Who's next? Um, uh, come in.

Hi. Hi, what's your name? My name is Trouble, a big trouble in little China. I've been troubling little China, take a seat. Thank you so much. Okay. Now what should I take it? Should I take it outside?

Just joking. That's why they call me big trouble in little China. Oh, take a chair, yes. I used to do comedy in our university and I had a lot of fun doing that. But yeah, mostly medicine now for me. How can what's been, what's been ailing you? Oh man, I can't stop. Every time I keep robbing graves

and having sex with the corpses. Okay, okay. And I think it's, I think I might have the flu. Okay, okay. And that's why that's happening. Right, okay. And have you been having any sugary drinks recently? Or?

I had a fan to yesterday. Okay. Usually I drink about two to three liters of fan to a day, just to keep my blood thin. Yeah, you. And you're having fruits and vegetables every day. I've never eaten a vegetable in my life, but I do treat myself to a banana every few mornings. Okay, okay, okay. And the exercise, you go for walks or do a walk to the cemetery every day. Okay, okay, okay. But I just, it's weird.

I think it might be, I looked it up on Google. I went to Google and me and I typed in my symptoms the digging up of the corpses and then the having sex with them. And yeah, it said I might have the flu or maybe bronchitis. Yeah, yeah, That's the thing. That's why you should never look up your symptoms online because everyone checks and's up thinking they have cancer.

Right, yeah. That's why we do ask that you come in and see us. Look, from what you're telling me, it sounds like it might just be a passing little infection. Okay. So I would maybe if you want put some better Dean on it. All right. On the on what?

On it. And then if it continues to happen, come back in absolutely. But I'm happy to anything else that's worrying you or not really just the cops have been on my back about it. I haven't told them it's been me. Okay. That's normal. That's normal. Yeah. Yeah. So is

there any way anything I can take maybe some parasitic amol that might get the cops off my back? Well, look, I can diagnose you some tami flu. I can give you some, I can prescribe you that and you can take that next door and get some tami flu. That would be great. No, it's yours. If the tami flu helps that, thank you so much, Doc. And do you need the day off work? Yes, I would love that. I've had two years. No worries. Yeah, thank you.

How about two? Thank you. Hey, I won't say if you don't say. No worries. There you go, I'll print that out for you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yep, that's perfectly normal.

That's normal. Just coughing in your face there. Yeah, I will. Just still. Yeah, and that's normal. That's normal. Just coughing in your face there. Yeah, I know. Just still. Yeah. And that's normal. That's fine. So if it does act up, just come back in. But I'll see you later.

All right, I'll see you later, doctor. I'm going to go for a walk to the cemetery. No worries. All right. OK. Secretary Sally, who's next? Next, we have this individual who is. E-E-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee I Is a monkey ignore my previous thing I said about the wheels I miss The ramblings of a monkey that's perfectly the sound of like a small trolley like wheel that needed some grease

No, I'm a monkey. I'm a orangutan. I am blind by the way. Yeah, that's normal. That's great. Yeah, that's fine blind by the way. Yeah that's normal. That's great. Yeah that's fine. Dunston has checked in. Dunston is Dr Broden. Hi I'm Dr Broden. Very normal doctor's office. Just 30 minutes slice of life. Just at a doctor's office. Come through Dunston. Okay now sit down-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee- I've been in the hospital. Yeah. It was George from Cypher. You're joking. Yeah, it was George from Cypher. He's operating a hotel. I tried to check in, got a thorn in my foot. Eee, that's so funny because earlier today

a dinosaur was in and he killed Newman from Cypher. Oh wow! Wow. It's such a coincidence. It's such a coincidence. It's an ad, no, no, I've not been been while I was in the US trying to check in to the hotel I remember that 1996

Okay, well they knew it in your old few weeks clear there. Yeah, okay, so let me top up on the bend I'll just check your your thorn was it a thought? Yeah, yep It's very important to listen when you're a doctor Excuse me one second. Secretary, Sally, can I please get my disinfectant wipes please? Absolutely. Dead-ol or Pino Clean? Dead-ol.

We have both. I don't want Pino Clean Secretary, Sally. We have to save money, the budget, the dead-ol's so expensive. I would say, I would use that all in an emergency. Detol. Detol. Detol. Detol.

That's what I'm saying. Detol. I'll go get a fine oak leaf. I'm so sorry, Secretary Sally, before you leave. Do you know a signpost? Have you watched the hits sitcom signpost? I have seen it. My favorite episode is the contest

where they all try not to come. Oh yeah, okay. I've not seen it on the com competition. I've not actually seen the show, but you know George from Sign felled, I know. Jason Alexander. I, okay, sure, sure. That's, yeah, that's the performer's name. Yeah, great.

Big broad wayster. Easy. I believe it was in the original cast of Bye Bye Birdieie. Oh, you've seen Bye-Bye birdie. Anyway, I just had pino clean if I could. Absent. Now, Doug Stone, have you been eating many bananas? Yes, yes I am. Okay, mostly bananas. Okay, okay. Okay. So sorry, We actually don't have any pine I claim you're gonna have to use the dead all Dead hole yeah, dead all Okay, thank you, that's okay. Yeah, I would just give this a elevate this foot monkey and and

and stay away from those Those adventures for a few days. I was like We just head out the front will bulk bill you and I'm gonna have a great day. No, I'll raise Oh, I did have one other sorry issue if it's if is it okay if I quickly bring up please absolutely yeah Yeah, no worries. So I've got a sort of a gangreness Pass pouring out of my asshole Yeah, okay gangreness. Yep, okay, gangrenous. It is green and lumpy.

Does gangren mean green? I don't know. I think that's... But it is green and lumpy. Look, maybe I've used the wrong word there. I've got a green lumpy mucus pouring out of my arsehole with urine, with a rate of urine. Okay, I've been having fruits and vegetables for lunch?

Yes, mostly bananas. Yeah, okay, okay. Oh, and you're having metamusel? Do you have constipation issues or... Not that I know of. Okay, okay. Look, it sounds fine to me. I would just check back in in a few days if you're still having the issue.

Just come back in. You can book me online. Do you know how to do that? Yeah, the hot doc app. Yeah, that's right hot doc And it'll either be me or run Jess who will be available that day and We can help you it run just just great. Yeah now Okay, here comes run dress Hey mate. Hi hi how are you? Then, and there goes run jish. Now, now, Secretary Sally who's next? This person has been waiting all morning. E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- Okay, okay. Hello. What's your name? Hi my name's

uh, uh, Jim. Jim? Jim Meyer. Jim Meyer come back please. Please. Take a seat. Grab a seat. Thank you. I have wheels for feet. Yeah, oh cool. I have tiny little wheels for feet that need some grease. Doc, if you got any grease. No, I don't have grease. I think you probably have to go to a to a grease shop for that. There's a grease shop. Well, I don't know. I don't know. That's just me. I'm not a comedy guy. I'm just a regular doctor. Yeah, but why do I have wheels for feet?

That seems like a medical problem. Well, it's actually quite perfectly normal. People get older, they start to have changes in their bodies. And I think sometimes you have wheels for feet. And that's okay. Do you know what else I have? What's that? Between my legs, there is an opening. Yep. So okay. So you can see I'm a

vagina. Well I am. I was created by Poe Dameron from Star Wars. Okay. I have wheels for feet. Between my legs there is an opening. Who am I? You were created by Poe? Poe Dameron from Star Wars. Oh, I don't know who you are. You told me your name was Jin. Jin Maya. It's fake name. Okay, okay, okay. And do you use fake names a lot? Only when I'm... Yes, between my legs, there is an opening.

That's all I'll say. Okay, so you're talking about your vagina? Well, you add that... You put it together yourself. Okay. I've also got 20 dead people in my bathtub. Okay. Can you help any of these ailments?

Well, the first thing I would ask is how's your diet? So what are you eating? Are you eating fruits and vegetables? For its inventions. I'm eating a lot of fruits and vegetables. Are you eating eight hours sleep? I get about seven to six to seven, but I feel good after six. I feel like I don't need it. I'll tell you what, it's either six or eight that I need. Anything less, I'm a wreck. Anything

you want. I'm so tired. Yeah, yeah. And I've been taking multiple vitamins as well. That's good. That's good. They can do a little bit and you're having a plenty of water I'm having some probably not enough yep I would say just grab one of those came out bottles uh-huh you know we're about a liter of water uh-huh just take that around with you during the day uh-huh try and stay hydrated you'll be going to the little bit which is good uh-huh um and then just see if those bodies are still there and your baths come in a few days. Okay. And then come back in if they are.

But I think you might be just a little bit dehydrated. I know it might feel a bit weird having eight hours sleep all the time, but you can go to bed earlier. So I'd be saying go to bed between nine and 10 at night and getting up at a reasonable hour. And the wheels? The wheels, that's fine.

The wheels are perfectly normal. Some people have wheels instead of feet. And it's not often talked about because people wear shoes over their wheels. Yes. So you might see someone wearing a pair of Nike MXs walking down the street. That's, they might have wheels under there. Right. And the opening. So that's, so that's under there. Right. And the opening?

So that's your vagina. That's perfectly normal. That's a reproductive organ. So you could have babies with or to do other things. I'm not actually a doctor, so I'm not going to go into the actual... What? I'm Dr. Broden. Oh, okay.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, come in. Hello, I'm the police. Okay, grab a seat. No seat here. Have you been telling people you're a doctor? Yes, I have. I'm Dr. Broden. Well, I have it on good authority.

You're not a doctor and you don't know the first thing about for joiners. Well, he was able to diagnose mine. It's not something to be diagnosed, it's something people have. Dr. Broden, you're under arrest. Okay. Okay. And have you been arresting people for a while?

Yes, I've been arresting people for six months. Okay. You've been sleeping? Oh, uh, have I, sorry, there's someone at the door. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I'm from the Australian Federal Police. Oh, no.

Not my federal counterpart. Oh, he's so stupid. With his federal laws. I'm just from the Victorian Police, you see. Mr. Victoria policeman. I've heard you've been going around telling people, you're a doctor. No, I'm not the one saying that.

This guy here, Dr. Broden, has been faking it. And he's been injecting people with medicine so they go to sleep forever. He's actually a serial killer. Oh my God. That's all we reckon, anyway. I was gonna take him in for questions, but here comes a federal police trying to steal my big case. Yeah well I've got jurisdiction over this area. You should maybe you should this is

Wayne Manor even in the Palisades. Maybe you should figure out where your jurisdiction ends. I don't really wanted this case I could have been the police boss but now it goes yeah sit down grab a seat. Obviously both having a bit of issues with workload is that right? Well here's a situation I'm a state police officer. I'm from Victoria and I and he's from the federal police. I'm a state police officer So he he does that. Okay, so he's a state police officer. He's a state police officer. I'm a state police officer So any crimes in all things officer a few more times police officer So any crimes it revolving around butcher shops

Wagyu related Yeah, okay, well um Stay police officer. I'm just gonna inject you with this. It's gonna help you give you an energy Okay, is it Red Bull? No, it was poison. You're going to die now. And I'm a witness in this case, which means I can't arrest you. That's the law, because now that I'm a witness. Yeah. I think you can arrest him. I don't know. I'm not a lay of pee. I don't know this from that. Do you mind if I call my boss for a second doctor, bro? No worries, that's fine. That's fine. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Hello? Oh, sorry, no. I've got to go. Bye. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hey, boss, police from Victoria. So, here's the situation. Um, so the AFP came and wanted, you know, the serial killer that I was on the case of? Yes, he's a doctor. Well, he's not even a doctor, he just pretended.

Okay. He printed out, he printed a doctor certificate and pretended. Okay, so he's murdered some people, but he's actually, so the AFP came, and someone from the AFP who specialises in steak dinners came, but he took an interest in my case and was going to take it off me. But then the doctor, Broden, he murdered him in front of me. So now I'm in a big mess. So I guess I'm just wondering can I still arrest

Doctor Broden okay, and you've been having all your fruits and vegetables? Yes, I had I've had well mostly frozen berries luckily I got some Oh, that's good. Yeah with all the with all the stockpiling that's going on. Yeah, okay I would listen to whatever the doctor has to say and so any injections he wants to give you Wait a second you sound an awful lot like the doctor I'm not wait a second I'm not even on the phone well you got me you got me man he got you good I saw this I saw that old play out in real time and I was like, What you haven't you didn't even pick up the phone? They're these weird that you said they're the hot time. I might give you a quick injection just before that This is just to help you with things like that to make sure you're feeling better

And I'll just put this in your arm now. Okay. Thank you. Doctor. I'm feeling a bit ill Oh, no, I'm feeling a little woozy too. I'll just give you both an injection at the same time. There you go. And we're dead. I'm still here. Okay, okay, I'm still good. I'll just give you one. That may not feel better that one. Yeah, I'm actually. Come in. I'm feeling quite good. Hello there. I'm from the FBI. Oh God.

Damn it, not the FBI. I... Sit down, sit down, sit down. Okay. So, I'm from the FBI from America. Yeah. And I heard some stories of an Australian who came to America, pretended to be a doctor and killed some people. Ah, I'm dead.

Yeah. So excuse the two dying and dead people. I just died then, yeah, sorry. So Mark's dead. Okay. Now, if the eye guy... Hellenviewer. That was a bird. Okay.

Now, if the I got hell of a review, been an FBI man. So, I joined the- I'm from Amir Akai, and I joined the FBI in 1981, and I'm two weeks from retirement. Okay, I'm just going to give you an injection. Oh no. How does that feel? I'm dying. Okay. Okay, this is huge. It's me. Donald Trump. Oh, take a safe Donald Trump. Thank you. I'm here because the I heard the FBI, which is huge. The FBI have came to the doctor's office

and I just wanna say, it's tremendous. I just wanna say it's tremendous. As much as I wanna kill you, I can't want you to stick around for a bit. Oh no, I was, I'm sure. No, come here. Hello there. Hi, who are you? It's me, come here. Hello there.

Hi, who are you? It's me, the lead singer of Muse. Oh no, it's the lead singer of Muse. Responsible for the album, Black holes and revelations. This is huge. What's your name? I don't know right now. I'm not even sure I'm from Scotland.

No, I believe he's English, but I'm not sure. For the time I dated Kate Hudson. Well, this is huge. I just wanted to say as president of as potas and as... Is that? Yeah, I asked me, excuse me, what's your own injection for me? I'm actually out of injection. Maybe you guys are here now until the next news.

Oh no! That tremendous news. Trump, so what's I reading you today? I've got a case of, I'm a fuckhead. Okay. And it's a heart-take. That's a heart-take on President Donald Trump. I can't even have vegetables. I've been eating a lot of KFC on Air Force One, my plane.

Okay, and you've been drinking water? I've been drinking a lot of Pepsi Max. As you ever have to, that's low sugar. That's low sugar, that's better than having full strength because a lot of people don't realize how much sugar is in those drinks. Pepsi is perfectly good for you if you have Pepsi Max. It's true. I want to fuck my daughter. Okay. Okay. And how long have you been wanting to do that for? I said probably since she turned 22.

Okay. Okay. And how often are you having these urges? Every couple of days when I'm being the president of the United States. Okay, okay. And do you, is that something that consumes your thoughts or is it just something that comes in your hose? It's sometimes, um, I'll be making love to my wife Ivanka. And when I'm with the volunteer, sometimes an image of my daughter will pop into my head.

Yeah, okay. I'm the president. It's a huge. Okay, well it's perfectly normal to have these different urges. It's an issue if it starts to consume you. So I'm gonna put you on a mental healthcare plan. Oh, Jeffrey Epstein was my friend. Okay, okay.

He was my friend. Okay. Do you still friends today? And no, he's dead. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have a friend passed away? Where is my computer to resale? So Donald, I'm gonna put you on a mental healthcare plan

just to work through some of these things. So they can help you with your urges to use the word with your daughter. And then also to talk about your friend who passed. And we can refer one to you if you'd like. Okay. Great, so I'm just gonna send you to a local one. I'll just send you the reference here.

Is there anything else? So I would recommend having the water instead of Pepsi Max every day as well. And KFC is a sometimes food, so you might have that on Friday night as a treat. But maybe in the other days have some fish and some poultry, maybe some fruits and vegetables, maybe broccoli, and try to step... You're just nodding at me, which I... Well, I... It's a lot to take in. It's a lot of new... I like

the idea of Donald Trump just sitting there listening to the doctors advice. I think it's very funny. It's a lot. Okay, I've got to go. Okay. Continue to save my nation from COVID-19. And also just have those for and vegetables and say that men don't have to get healthcare professional.

Okay, well last, that means we're the best. Alright, Donald. Okay, bye. Bye. We've got all the dead bodies as well. Now, Matt from Muse. Hello there, it's me, Matt from Muse. Matt, follow me.

What's boring you today? Well, I just had a fight with my ex-girlfriend Kate Hudson. She doesn't believe in UFOs, but I do. Okay, okay. I need to be in, do you see, have you seen any UFOs? Oh. Right, yeah, I've not seen any UFOs, but I believe in them and the right songs about them.

Okay, well one second, I'll just, uh, Donald, before you go. Yeah. Come back in. Oh no, Donald, I'm so busy. This is one of my patients, Donald Trump. He's the president of the United States, Matt. I am aware of him. I watched him on the news.

He actually has a golf course in your country, him. I watched him on the news. He actually has a golf course in your country, Scotland. Right. That's very good. I'm actually from England. Oh, but you have a score. Wait, because I committed to that at the start before I realized that I was from England. Guys, yeah. There's been a huge mistake. I, I'm not the president of the United States, I'm president of the United States. Oh, okay. What a twist. So like Waku,

I, I, I, Well, you, I think you have a duty to those stakes to do your best in offers. Are you a different Donald Trump to the President of the United States already? No, no, the same one. Okay, because I know for a fact you are the President of the United States.

Yeah, yeah. Because you are the President of the United States as well. It's like how the Queen is the Queen of both England and Canada. The Canada is not she's not the Queen of the Commonwealth of England. The Queen of both is both the President of the United States and the United States which is not in Scotland. Not huge or not in Scotland. Not huge or funny. No, it's just normal and that's perfectly fine to be the president of two different things. Have you had my new album, Black, Sticks and Revelation? No, I haven't. You just hit a plug your album, isn't it? I am here to plug me album. It sounds a bit like if when Radiohead had their blue before Kidee and decided to go,

where I wanted to go alternative, the other I wanted to keep going with the stadium rock, I'm like the choose your own adventure of that. I like that. So, where like if Radiohead had kept going down the stadium rock. Okay. But this album is about sticks. Right. Yeah, I know a lot about being president of the United States, Wago, Sirloin. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,in, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, Actually, my name is Donald Rump. Would you like to hear a song from us?

Your name is Donald Rump. Is it that or not, That's the steak. After the steak. But are you Donald Trump or are you completely different? No, I'm Donald Trump. I... Oh, but it's a fun little idea that you're Donald Trump.

It's just a little joke. It's like a song from a new album. I'd love that. I'd love that. I would love to hear that. Is it about UFOs? No, it's about stakes. It was originally about UFOs, but we made it about UFOs? No, it's about steaks. It was originally about UFOs, but we made it about steaks.

Okay, okay. I'd love to hear it. Dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm sure to that song but I love when you say I love when there is a bit of a thing in it in the blend Can you do the blender to the next song? Right D-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L- If you want a little steak, have a steak in your Tom President, Tom the Steak, his name is Donald Rump. If you want a little steak, I can't help but feel it's the steak. Lots of steak with ketchup too, do you like a cut to steak? As President Donald Rump, the President of the United States, I wholeheartedly endorse the message. Yeah, that's good. By the singer of Muse, a song about steaks.

I see what you meant when you said that it was what radio head would have done. I, I, if they'd gone down sort of a burpee songs about steaks, the funny part is I'm a vegetarian, I don't even eat sticks just like I think I'm about to eat them. Well make sure you're having enough iron tablets as a lifestyle. I like to eat lots of spinach. Now guys I have some bad news. Oh no! Oh no!

Are you out of steak? I'm hungry. It's going to kill us! No. I only have one more poison injection of I'll take it in the fridge. I'll take it. I can only kill one of you. You both have to put forward to me.

Who deserves to die more? Okay. The lead singer of Muse. Matt, I forget your last name. William me. I think it's better to be... Matt, William me. Matt, Billamy.

Billamy. Right, yeah. Are you dead? Billamy.amnian. Matt Blyamnian? Blyamnian. Right, yeah. Are you there to see it? Matt Blyamnian. Matt Blyamnian or Donald Rump Trump in Rump in brackets. It's Rump in brackets. Donald Rump Trump. Well, now I want to hear both of your best arguments for why I should kill you.

Okay, so I don't think it's necessary to kill me. Some people don't like my music, some people do. I think it would be a bit unnecessary. And do I you to be an arbitrator of who deserves to live and deserve to die? Well, I'm a monster. I'm a doctor who goes around killing and euthanizing people who aren't even real, so I'm a monster. I deserve to die, but I won't. I'm the one with the needle.

Right, yeah. So I'd like not today, and I'd like not for you to kill me. I worry as well that, you know, if you kill me, like my daughter with Kate Odson would be sad. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well that's a really good argument. Now the opposing team, Donald Trump. Okay. So Matt Blimey is against God.

He wants to take your guns away. Hmm. This is a good persuasive Arguments say he's he's instead of making me for him. He's making me anti-umat and he I don't know to know this but he had a daughter with Kate Hudson. I said that yeah. Who is the daughter of Goldie Hahn? Goldie Hahn, I'm the killer. Who is in that movie that one time? Love got some news for you. I'm Goldie Horn. Oh my god. Yeah, that's right. Goldie, hey, are you today? Good to see you. Good. I have been killing everyone under the guys of Broden for 20 years. That's why I stopped acting not because of systemic Hollywood issues. Today I'm going to kill

Matt Berry because the father of my granddaughter. Matt Berry, I love that show. No, sorry, not Matt Berry. I love it. Toast of London. No, I'm not just not Matt Berry from... Not Matt Berry. Not Matt Berry.

Matt Berry. Matt Berry. I know. I'm... I fuck hurt Russell. I do. And you're not married because if a date broke, I fixed it. That's what you said, didn't interview once. Yeah, now I'm Goldie Horn.

That's been the twist of the Dr Broden episode. And do you know what? I'm going to let you both live. Great. I'm taking my own life. What? No, that's... You two characters will return because you've never died. Only I, Goldie Horn, will die. Play some sad music, Tom.

You guys are now in charge of the doctor's office and will return in the sequel to the doctor's office now with Donald Rump,ump Trump and Matt Bellamy. Oh no, I don't think I can do this one for a whole episode. Well now I'm the doctor. Donald Rump Trump. Dr. Donald Rump Trump. Dr. Donald Rump Trump.

MD. Good bye. President of the United States and states. Donald R Donald Trump. I heard a doctor in Station Street, Fairfield. Goodbye. Bye bye. Goodbye, Donald Ron.

Goodbye. I don't understand why he kills himself. Because she's a serial killer. Yes. At the moment of clarity, that the only way to stop the killings is to end the wrong life. That's right. That's right. That's right. Quite a great moment, I thought. Didn't think it needed any more exposition, but it does

and I just just go in all the ways. Goodbye. Goodbye, bro. You guys need to do like a suggestion, like, you know, the end of a bone film, like, hey, I want to talk to you like a link to the sequel to this, which we'll come in. Can we do it? Yeah can we do it like when they used to do it with the flops like the hint of a sequel that never comes. Yes rock and roll. Yeah like that okay you go with the hint. Good bye I'm gonna die. Good bye. by... and... well, a guilty horn is dead, and I... I... can I say if guilty horn is dead?

but there's a doctor's office here ring ring ring ring don't know oh there is a customer coming in what are we to do? what... what do we to do?

and here's the worst part they're leaving a card. It's the Joker card Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da directed by Paul Greengrass. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's the episode. That was great, guys. That was a really strong episode. I didn't see that twist coming by. I like that you dropped all those hints through it, Broden. Yeah. I'm just up recording now.

Okay. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.