Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 232 - The Cheltenham Hotspur Football Festival feat. Daniel Sloss

Episode Date: December 8, 2020

On today episode we are joined by Daniel Sloss to talk all things Football! auntydonnaclub.com auntydonna.com/shows haventyoudonewell.com  Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Get our legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Aunty Donna podcast. Today we're talking all things football and are very lucky to be joined by comedy legend and podcast fan favorite, Daniel Sloss. You can check out a bunch of Daniel's stand-up specials on HBO and Netflix and recently I've been watching Daniel's stream on Twitch and it's all very good and fun

and you should definitely check it out. In the world, brother, my Kentucky sometimes and yes, we hope you enjoy the motherfucking podcast. Today's podcast is about a bunch of naughty lads going to a football match. We're joined by... This loss is going to lose 50% of his fans from this podcast. Let's see. What? We've joined our boys on the front. I'm not afraid there's any crossover.

We join the boys. We join the boys out the front of a football ground as they go in to enjoy a classic match of football. G'day, Leds. What classic match is up here to say boys? We're here to see the Jose Mareño's Tottenham Hotspur take on those damn Burnley bastards. I mean, they're the old enemy.

They've been more at least those, that part of London and that part of... Offside. Offside. Offside. Oh, this Offside! Offside! Oh, this looks like some bloke from the other side of the world. What's your name there, lad? Oh, good day. My name's Mark Banana, and I'm just a crazy old Aussie fucking Italian greasy hunker

shit, and I'm here to learn all about, I believe it's called soccer. It fucking isn't. Oh wait, whoa, absolutely not. We call it football here, because we use our feet to kick the soccer ball all over the room. Look, I'm a big fan of Aussie rules football, right? Back home, our football shaped a little bit differently,

and we use our hands. So why yours is not called soccer and football confuses me? What is a... a braunjon, no? What is a man? Talk about a football with the end. I don't understand. Oh, it's a... hello?

Hello. I'm a sexy Italian man and I beg for your ventes. That's what you need to understand. This football is the world's game. And I beg for Yoventez. That's what you need to understand. This football is the world's game. You can travel to Rio de Janeiro. Hola. You see, Yoventez has the concept colors as color good.

From Italy. That's right. The same colors as the calling wood magpies. Daniel, are you just Daniel? Yeah, yeah, if that's okay. No, whatever you want. No, that's good. I'm just trying to write the whole thing in.

I'm playing the straight man here. So it's good for me to know whether you're some sort of crazy, wacky character or if you're just the Daniel Sloss comedian superstar. Daniel Sloss comedian works for me but I can I can I can turn it up. Yeah you can push it up you can put it there you can oscillate between this and maybe some kind of I don't know like rural, rural Scottish character that has a crazy accent and says you know classist things whatever whatever is good for you man.

Carls are the table mark I'm just happy to be here. Oh, it's so good now. I'm here to be here too. I just want to go to this football match and have a great time. Be careful, though. Sometimes there's a lot of hooligans around at the football. Hey, boys, who are your top three football players

at the moment? Yes, yes, yes, great question. Remember to play, or is player is David Beckham, a big ball of pasta and all of your vendors. I love Lionel Macy and Cristiano Ronaldo. and Chris the Argonaut. The Argonaut is probably my second favorite. Yep, and the Argonaut, of course the Argonaut, you fucking idiot. Who else would I be talking about? And Diego Maradona, those are my top three players.

Yeah, three of the greatest footballers to ever play the world's game. I know, I know. But they just want to have a little favor. Hold on, on the topic of Adora, did anyone see what happened with his funeral directors? No, I didn't. No, this is... No, this is where he died. Ah, so, right, so his body was obviously taken to a morgue where it was in bambed or whatever, and two, the three of the people there took pictures with

Diego Maradona's body and they sent it to all of their friends or even just one of their friends, they're like, hey look, it's his body and all three of them were found dead the next day. What do you mean? That's what's happening. It's the world. Yeah, it's cool again, isn't it? Jamieedly. I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, I'll, I'll say, I'll say, I like it, see, see, we are Ulyghans. That's right, you do violence.

Who are your top three players, Daniel Slaus? Did he a drug war? Um, used to play for Chelsea, and also single-handedly stopped the Ivory Coast Civil War. Yep. Um, I also like Ryan Christie. He's a Scottish footballer. Yep. And he did a very emotional interview when Scotland qualified. And Aaron Cuthbert, she's a Scottish footballer but she's also placed for Chelsea and it's just an extra crossover for me.

Oh, we love football here. There's no question about that. But I hate those damn Chelsea bastards. It's a quasi-. What? Those damn Chelsea bastards. Well, hey, look apart from our very flagrant racism, I don't know what you can have against us as a club. Can I just say is it just a side note here as we do this? The anti-donate tech for the last seven years is named Daniel Barca and he's a

diehard Chelsea fan and it's very, he gets up at 2 in the morning to watch it and he takes it too seriously. I think it would be a funny idea to call him later and make fun of him, but that's just a side note. Let's do that. We can do that. He sounds way more committed to Chelsea than I do already. Like I feel like I'm gonna be just on edge on the floor. Well, you don't have to wait for it now. Well, what would be great? No, but it's time for you.

I mean, that's a fair point. Every time I have, I'll come up at 2am for it. I've been really tired by the time the match just started. And then also, just for all our listeners, it's 11pm in Scotland. So Daniel had to get, usually he's in bed at this time, but he's very, very kind to us. He's stayed up late to do our podcast, so we do want to thank him. Um, what's going to be funny here is Daniel, are you telling Broden what to say?

Hello, is this Daniel Barker? Here we go. Yes it is, speaking. Daniel, we want to know your top five players for Chelsea. What is this rubbish? What do you see? Who's your favourite players who play for Chelsea who kick the soccer ball into the goal? What is this rubbish? What is this rubbish? Are there burnings at the moment? Yeah, Daniel, I'm thinking of that. Oh, he can't hear me.

No, but you tell Broden what they say. Broden, yeah. Okay. Broden, ask him if the Torres goal, despite it being pointless still. Do you think the Torres goal, despite being pointless, that got us into the final, gott us into the final, the gott us into the final. Even though it's pointless, does it still get you hard? Even though it was pointless, does the chap us get you hard?

Fucking sure does, mate. He's a true blue. He's a fucking true blue. You're a true blue. Thank you very much. You know those blue Chelsea bars. fucking true blue you're a true blue You know the Chelsea Go the Chelsea blues I hate Daniel I hate Daniel hang up on it. Hey. Oh, no, not you Daniel sloss Oh, both out Daniel. We love all our Daniels. Daniel, back into character. You are joining us.

We're joined by our guest, Daniel Slas. It is a little boy. I feel like this needs some direction. Are we going to a football match or what? Yeah, I'm raining it in. I'm raining it in. I'm definitely raining it. We will send it up for the audience. We'll decide on some key factors for the circus.

Daniel Siles is joining us because he is, I was going to say, he's English just a piss of a five. Well, he's owned by the English. Because he is a part of the United Kingdom or, you know, we thought it would be fitting. Brodon had the idea to do something about football because Brodon has very limited knowledge, me and Mark have no knowledge. So we're playing football, Hooligans. Playing football, Hooligans, I of course,

and playing an Italian man that goes for the Juventus Club. Brodon, do you want to talk a little bit about your pastor? And a big blah, blah, blah. Brodon, do you want to talk a little bit about your pastor? And a big lot more pastor. Broden, do you want to talk a little bit about who your character is? Well, I've just been watching some football recently. We've been in COVID lockdown and it's something to do and I've picked a team. So it's a funny world and they all have funny accents and I thought this could be a great place for an pro. But what it needs more than anything is it needs structure and drive. Absolutely, just who's your character? What's his name?

Who does he go? I have nothing. He's a he's a black hole. I have a he has no name He has no it's just a it's just a voice. Let's call him regley worm then Okay, that's it's your go-to Okay, we don't have to call him regley worm. We can call him a piece of paper No, regley worm is good. Okay, what was your character? Did you have a character yet? I know you do more like. Daniel's just playing Daniel.

We've already discussed this. I am, yeah, Daniel Sloss. But he's playing it up. He's playing it up. It's the thing that we discussed. So it's grounded Daniel Sloss but with a little bit of, a little bit of happiness, you know. A little bit of our,

a little bit of our room. Daniel Sloss plus one. In this world, are you well-known? In football world, no. Nobody in our world, in our world. Does my event as character has he seen one of your Netflix specials? Maybe he's saying jigsaw.

Or right now. Yes, he has. But he's one of only 12 Italians that has. I got right. I even tweeted about it and you hit train. Yeah, I think that's a compliment. X is streaming now on HBO, just for anyone who's interested. I had to go through the entire process of translating your tweet

or midfinder that it wasn't a compliment about the show. And Mark, who are you playing in this podcast? I'm just playing, I'm playing Mark, maybe if I'm feeling confident, I'll switch to playing the Fat Controller later from Thomas the Tank Engine. That's probably not gonna happen. May happen right at the end if at all. But let's keep our fingers crossed because great character, the Fat Controller. Correct.

Never really seen Thomas the Tank Engine, but I do know that there is a fat man with a Ringo Liverpool-ish type accent. I'm going to actually just chuck in another character that I'm going to play, because I thought there'd be more hooligans in the mix. That's why I chose my Italian character to mix it up. I'm also going to play a hooligan character

called hooligan Harry. At the moment, we're almost 50% through the podcast and we mostly have been discussion of structure and how this improv will go. But imagine the payoff because of this. This clarity is really going to be huge. People are going to appreciate it by the end, because it's all part of the process. And that's the lot of the type. People do like to see the process.

The making of Lord of the Rings movies have definitely been watched more times than the actual Lord of the Rings movies. Well, Ron, can I do my Daniel Sloss impersonation real quick for you? Yeah, for sure. I would absolutely love you to. This is Daniel Sloss on a run, like when he's saying something, like when he's saying something profound in a show, it goes like, it's like this, it goes. I just want to say that, I was in it, no, obviously, I was in it, I was in it, that's why you were in there. I would say that, I would say, shut your fucking face, and then everyone laughed and clapped. That's very good. It's very, I can't believe it.

It's all gibberish, though. I you want to see my dad's little boss? This is... Yes, please. Hello! Hello! Let me name Stan your slots! So you're supposed to be as you're getting an approximation of the man. Yeah, like I'm not here or I'm still there or whatever. I'm just a...

People made golf! They made golf! I don't care for the fangland. And Mark? This is made of doing Daniel's loss on a run. I'm hungry. Because after some time you go for a run you're hungry. Yeah.

Different to your run. Oh, let it go. Play some goals. I just want to go out. That's what I want to do. That's what I go outside. I go out and play golf. That's what I go out. I go to the toilet. Go go and play golf. That's what we've invented. Shoot your fucking face. And then and then when

many people leave their girlfriends that's what that little run. I'm so big on doing next time Daniel Sloss comes on I'm so good on doing it I'm not there I'm Daniel Sloss. Yeah just three different parts. The biography in the in the style of the Bob Dylan bio pick. I went eight different actors played Daniel Sloss. So Zach is an Italian man. And the Sloss is that very... He's a hooligan as well. He's a hooligan as well.

I'm gonna be more hooligan Harry I think. Oh man, we just went through eight minutes of explaining everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter. He's got to be clear because if I don't know who's who, I'll say the wrong thing, I'll call you Broden. What's that? Rather than wriggly worm. Right, yeah, we don't want you to do that. What's that movie called like Green Street Hulligans or some shit?

What's that just great? You add No, it's Green Street Hulligans you fucking bass shit. I'll send you the internet movie that about right now Look at the chat you fuck it's called it's called Green Street Hulligans, right? I think you should check on IMVB what that film's called as well. And while you're there, Chuck is a review for our Andy Donnis Bigode House

of Fun while you're there. So it starts, it's Green Straight Hooligans, your mother fucker, all right? So. I'm fucked up, I'm fucked up. Mark, Mark, could you, because Green Straight Hooligans really benefited from having an outsider coming in and we were gonna have Mark do Mark, could you, cause green street hooligans really benefited from having an outside of coming in and we were going to have Mark do that.

But would you do that as Frodo Baggins, that green street hooligans? Yeah, I'll be Frodo Baggins from Green Street hooligans, alright? Alright. And set the scene for us, Mark, what are we doing? We're going to, we're going to get some fried pizza before a Liverpool versus Chelsea game. Chelsea have been offside this whole season. So we're very mad about that.

It's weird that they've not changed that dirt. I know, I know. We're going offside, we're staying offside, right? It's soccer's a weird sport like that. Broden is playing a British person. Riggly worm. Riggly worm. He's not a Riggly worm, that's his name.

Yeah, and Daniel Sosper with some Vava film. A bit of Daniel Sosper's one, right? Now, we've got... 16 minutes in. Yeah, we've got now Fried Pizza. We're on our way to the stadium where the sport is played. In Liverpool or Scotland. Daniel gets the decide and our scene begins as we exit a tunnel onto the street. After the game.

So we've watched the game. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no lost the fight and we're just about to all go our separate ways and go to bed. So we go our separate ways, we go to bed and the scene starts the next morning when we catch up for a fry up at a local sort of cafe type, type situation for a big fry up to talk about the night that was. And we're on our way to a football game. It's two days in a row. It's the whereabouts. It's the whereabouts. It's the whereabouts. Yeah, yeah. Home, then away. First leg, an unfilled second leg. Don't to Stanford Bridge. And? Or Stanford Bridge. We're going to Stanford Bridge. Well, we're on Stanford bridge.

It's not okay. No. I'm one of us is thinking about jumping off it, but our friends have gone, it's not worth it. Should we all open with a little monologue to just sort of set up our character? Yes. I feel like it's been done.

I feel like it's been done. No, Daniel, Daniel needs to set the scene. He needs to set his emotional stakes. Where is that? How is feeling about last night's game? Everything that happened, we lost the fight in the pub. Now we're standing on the bridge. The game's over, the away game is now over.

We've lost it, we are pissed. Yeah, we're mad, we're really mad. We are pissed off and we're off to the pub to have a couple of drinks But now that we've had those drinks we got in a big fight and we're on our life one It's same guys from the know before say yeah They phone us again. They phone us again. They might I don't know whether I bled particularly on their knuckles They got my sand they phone us the next day

whether I bled particularly on their knuckles, they got my scent, they found us the next day. Just their follow-ups came to game and just kicked your heads in. All right Daniel, so start your monologue with all of that in mind considering that we've lost the fight and we've gone, now we've gone for a 20 minute in, just about to go our separate ways. And we've gone to bed and it's the next morning and we've met up. Go, 10 minutes. I'm actually quite hungry guys. Shall we get some breakfast before we discuss the last two days of beds? It's part of your monologue.

In a monologue, I think you're just setting your own stakes here. Okay, sorry. It's been a rough two days. I got to see Chelsea lose away and then I got the fucking head kicked in. And then we had a nice breakfast, and that was nice, I was well rested, and I got to see the guys, and we saw I had a laugh about the fight the night before, you know, brushed it off, and then Chelsea lost again, and then the same guys kicked our heads again, and like I thought we would have learned our lesson,

but they found us way quicker this time, way quicker and I'll be up though I'm excited for breakfast tomorrow. I do worry that I'm living in some sort of football groundhog day where tomorrow I get to watch Chelsea play at another stadium and then the same hooligans are going to come in and kick my head and again and I'm going to get bored of the same breakfast. But that's where my heads are and I really hope I don't jump off this Stanford Bridge. Rodin, your mon fighting. That's why I've had the best two days of my life. And I can't wait to do it all over again in a little adventure. I'm just Mark from Anti-Donna. I'm here. I'm on a football trip with my friend Daniel Sloss and some of his fucked mates.

One of their names is Riggly Worm, which is very odd. And... You should hear now we got the name. Oh, well! It's... he... he asked for it. He just said, could you call me Rigglyworm from No One, please? And we were like, sure, I don't want to, I don't want to dead name anyone. I hate that story.

I hate that story. I wish Adam told me. And here, we are in sort of a groundhog day thing, but it's not, it's not that the same day as repeating. It's just that we're at that football festival that happens once a year where Chelsea plays every team in a week. Oh the World Cup.

Yeah the World Cup and we're there and we keep going. We keep going. You know that one. Yeah the World Cup, Chelsea V1 for everyone. Yeah and there's a little market stall and we you go there, you buy a nice jumper, and... Oh, Chelsea Parade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, there's little night stalls, and you can get a, you know, a paya, or that kind of thing. And we're here, and I'm having a good time, and I've had the shit kicked out of me twice. We're on the Stanford Bridge, or whatever it's called. I got a bit of blood loss, it was like, oh, I'm gonna jump,

but I didn't, it's just like one I just see myself jumping in my head But I don't actually want to kill myself, but I think about it a lot But I don't want to do it and now we're here and Zack's gonna talk. Oh, well who again Harry who again Harry? Is he till Italian? No, no, that's another character. Well, let's find out. He's my monologue Me name's Harry, but they call me all-iginarri. I don't know why they call me that, I just love the game. It makes me feel full. He'd be played by Statham. Yeah, Jason Statham, yeah. It makes me feel full, it makes me feel complete. I have a job like anyone else, but that makes me feel empty.

I go home, I feel empty. I eat breakfast, I feel empty, I drink, I feel empty, but when I'm watching that game, when I'm watching the Tottenham Alts first play, I feel full in a way I never felt. I feel alive, and then that game ends, we're in or lose, and I start to feel the empty creeping. And then I'm sitting in the pub, and they look at me me a funny way and I think there's a moment, there's a moment where I can feel full again. And as I beat their edge and I don't feel anything, I feel the emptiness continue to creep and I chase that fullness, the fullness of a moment, a moment in time, as that football goes through that goal. I know, I know that there's something, there's something out there. My father, he called it religion, but I

never believed in that sort of thing. My mother, she called it love. I don't know what that feeling of fullness is, but I only feel it when I see the hot spurs play. All right, so that's like an arrow. That's character's a murderer. I'm just like a full... Do you know that Holy God's a quite violent, don't you, man? Oh yeah, but that's like to feel nothing, except for when a ball is going through a net

and when you're beating someone to death. I think you need to be locked up. I think you need some like mental, some drugs for your mental state. The monologue is saying a fair bit about the culture of Britain, the culture of the faturism movement, the faturism in the 80s and then moving through to the tumultuous 90s, you know's horrible. And I think what you're looking at there is a man who survived. It survived. Is it a dexter type character?

He feels no emotion. He has no emotion. He feels nothing. This is about cycles of violence. It's about 25 impression. It's about depression. We start the character. I mean, at the top, we think this monologue

towards the end mark. At the top, we mean at the top we think this this monologue towards the end mark at the top We paint the picture of a monster And it's around the monologue There's a big monologue in the middle where he talks about Tony Blair and the hope The hope that that man gave him he talks about election night when Tony Blair got in and then the slow creeping Realization that nothing was going to change for Hooligan Harry. And that's, I think, when we start to see that Hooligan Harry is a victim of circumstance like any other character in that play.

And it's a beautiful piece. I can't wait for you to come and see it at Fringe at 9 a.m. I'm keeping my fucking cats the fuck away from you. What happened to your parents, Hooligan Harry? What happened to his parents? Yeah. I don't know. This is my daddy, Derby. What happened to your parents, Hulligan Harry? What happened to his parents? I don't know.

That's my daddy, Derby. Derby? Yeah, it's a daddy, Derby. Oh man, Hulligan Harry is going to win one of those weekly awards at the fridge. I can't wait to do that. Can we do that? All right, I'm in pro. Running it in, running it in.

All right, so Mark, you're doing a bad job. It's day three, remember, it's day three of the Cheltenham Hot Spurs football festival where... Cheltenham Hot Spurs. We're on the... The Cheltenham Hot Spurs. We're on the...

They've been playing off-site all season. We're on the pre-season. Yeah, it's their ninth game of the day. I've got it. It's like, it's like... The exhaustion. Like one day crooked. Like the test matches go for a lot longer But these ones are like these go quick half-hour bursts they call no no the way they do

Yeah, they they they stay on until they beat them all it's like Spartan stuff Oh right Send in the next one Send to my Another one. At the end, they're just walking around like thinking and trying, yes, there are no one else. The game just doesn't end.

It just keeps going. New teams getting sent in. It's just these rolling. I like it. And it goes through, it's like, conscription, it goes all through the premier lake and then the lower league teams and then they start signing up fucking youth teams

and then it's all the school teams and Chelsea still play like they would play a Champions League final. Yeah, by, so it's a very different history. Yeah, that's it, it's heritage. But here's a twist, everyone gets one blunt instrument. So it's no contact, but you can hit people with your blunt instrument.

It's a really fucked up weird game. It's full on. People die, but it's really cool. All right, but it's the whole cup of tradition. We walk into the stadium and they lose. So we go to the pub and now at the pub. Now we're at the pub. We're at the pub. Now we're at the pub. We're at the pub.

Each of us get a drink. We turn to our left and there are the same pool again. It's like you're the dungeon master. Yes, that have been exactly of the... I was really with you. I was yes at the end of this. But I am sorry I have to jump side here. I think maybe you're not

Running this as well as we needed I'm just sitting I feel like it's I feel like to just jump into the scene without context right we're not gonna have people Now people would know what's going on exactly and I Character they've gotten this far and they stopped listening listening. Yeah, I'm worried they've done that. So you are? Our characters now have a wealth of knowledge to draw upon. Right. We're able to step into this next scene that I'm setting with three football losses.

Right? Three nights of debauchery, three full breakfasts. We've been hung over, we've cried, we've we've laughed we've hugged we've seen our team, you know get so close They've been off side and we've been telling them to get on side and now we walk into the pub It's all right. It's now just do the same with all this To our left and they're the same hooligans We'll have to be good. To our left, and there are the same hooligans that have beaten us the last two nights,

but this time we have guns. Bang, bang, bang, and they're dead. So there we go. And see, and see. Wow. That was pretty good. I love it. That was pretty good. I love it. Thank God we have the context.

Otherwise, that was just a gunshot. But because we had all the context, it's a nice bow on the end of the story. Exactly. And it's a callback. Sorry I doubted Mark. I had a lot of doubts there. I thought, because if I had known that what we, I must have missed the planning meeting,

but if I had known that what was going to be improvised was bang, bang, bang and scene, I wouldn't have realized how important I was all that context. Well think about it if we just started at the guns. You'd be like, well, these group of friends, football fans obviously, I just coves a bunch of race be like, well, these group of friends, football fans, obviously. I just co-bodies.

I just graduated. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And they're just cold-blooded murderers, right? We wouldn't know that one of their mums died in a Darby. We wouldn't have known that the people that they just slaughtered in the pub were their enemies over the last two, three days, you know. Now with that concept.

We could be up for the podcast awards this year. We could, we could. Well, I've actually got some good news because there was a judge in the audience tonight. Karen, Karen? Yeah. She's here to burn the place down. I hope Karen, Karen, sees our show

and gives us a little room at the gilded balloon. I don't know if you boys know about the gilded balloon but it's one of the top venues for comedy. We played it at a reflating four times. Every Edinburgh we played gilded balloon. Do we? Yes. Now boys. Not this Edinburgh. No, no, no, was all exciting and we didn't know how long this was gonna last. And we were like, maybe this will work. And then I watched myself doing it and I was like, oh, this doesn't work. And then it stopped. And then I had a half and done one six.

The most theatrical, the most live form in the world which is stand up and just go, I love people, I love, I'm a big fan of people being like, wow, you know, we thought theater was dead, but we're doing theater on like, on, you set up a little camera and you perform the theatre and it goes out to people to watch a game. That's the movies they invented that about a hundred years ago.

For you doing you do some little zoom movies. Yeah, and it sounds like theatre is dead. What you've just described sounds like the death of theatre. Bang, bang! But they had guns too. What? It sounds like the death of theatre. Bang, bang! But they had guns too. Are we doing the improw again? Did we leave the improw? I thought you finished the improw.

I thought we did the improw. The improw was bang, bang, bang, and it was over. You weren't charge of it. They had guns too. Mark, being the straight guy means you have to listen as well. I thought we were still in the pub. No, no, we left the pub the scene with the pub. This is like a post, that was a great improv episode of the podcast.

Now it's just like a little chat afterwards section. The improviser. I've been catching up with Sloss. I hate podcasts. I don't know, I doubt. Why? I really bring this home. The Barker Guy, Daniel, is a very funny boy if you get him upset. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.

I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.

I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. tell them, say that Kapa is our greatest saining. K-E-P-A Kapa, say that Kapa is our greatest saining. Just football, I'm sorry. All right, yeah, I'll say that. You just feed it one at a time, just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grading and almost take a break.

And this will be a great way to end the football themed episode. And, I have, we, please, is that, is that Bunnings remember? So he might not answer. He might need to buy some plants Yeah, he might be getting some drywall. What do you have? What's the equivalent of bunnings in England?

Okay, Daniel Kappa is the best keeper you've ever signed Kappa is the best signing you guys have ever made He hung up on me. Oh, motherfucker. Do you want me, maybe just I'll pretend to be Daniel Barker. Okay, okay. I really think that's gonna be, maybe Tom,

can you put a bit of a phone call effect on my voice and what a pretend to call me? That kind of, this kind of feels like, you know, like, this kind of feels like, you know, like, this kind of feels like going to the formal with your, with your mom kind of vibes. It's not gonna work, I'll get really upset. I promise I'll get upset. It's not just about getting upset.

It's about a specific person who cares about a specific thing. Yeah. Getting upset about that. I can do that, I can do that. Absolutely. What's the name of the TV? It's not, I know you're a good actor, Zach, but not every actor can play every role. We'll get Tom, that's I can do that. Absolutely. What's the name of the team? I know you're a good actor, Zach, but not every actor can play every role.

We'll get some good on it. A phone effect. Even you can call me. You can actually call me. I'll turn off my microphone. It'll be like, it'll be so real. I think this is a good idea. I promise you'll work. Okay. All right. We'll try it, but then come try Daniel after again and compare the two maybe so I'm just getting a call This Hello Daniel Barker speaking

Who is that Kepa is a Kepa is best Kepa's the best sailing you've ever meet Kepa is the best signing you've ever made I fundamentally disagree I think he was a bad sideict of my team. But else have you got to say? I'm not getting that upset. He's not getting that upset. I'll go harder. I'll go harder. I'll get him. Okay. Say, Jose Mareño's second spell at Chelsea was far superior to his first season. Jose Mareño's second spell as the manager of Chelsea was far superior to his first spell.

Why would you say something like that, Brody? And I'm Daniel Bart, obviously, I've got Jack Sheeva. He sucks. What was the name of that manager? I've got a text here. This sucks. This is what we were doing in relation to your mother's name. That man that forgets Harry Wombs. Joe Zingering. No, Daniel would know. So, so Joe Zingering your second tenure as manager.

Was significantly worse than his first tenure. My understanding is when they brought it. You don't have the wealth of, like, you don't have the passion or the wealth. No, he's not even getting that upset. He's just like taking it in his stride He's brought him off second ten. Yeah, we really had a lot of hope that he would bring some of the magic But you know obviously a team is more than just managers and players. You can't fire it up Zach at least at the minimum get a little bit fired up

Just get fired up a bit more please Get up set in with something that even someone who knows nothing about football would get upset over You can't hear Daniel. Barker. I've explained a broken that I was just at Bunnings and I'm in the car now and also I was your tech. Yeah we know you were our tech. You're ruining this. Okay, here we go. Just say this is everyone would know this is incorrect. It's like genuinely untrue. The Champions League is a Mickey Mouse trophy. The Champions League is a Mickey Mouse trophy.

Come on, Zach. Excuse me. Oh, I'm mad about that. All right, mad about that. All right, can you set up? We won the Champions League. I was proud and happy about that. That made me happy in my heart.

Because that's the team I've been very grateful for. When I got up early and watched on the rally, and we won that trophy, I was happy. And when you say, you lose in that ad, you lose in that. What that says is that the team, the thing I've invested a lot of emotion and time At least raise your voice Barracks for a sport team and I understand the idea of being emotionally attached to a team that I've picked that random I have been chosen for me as a child

That's something I care a lot about. And when they want that trophy, something I also care a lot about, it meant a lot to me. You say that trophy doesn't mean anything? Well, I tell you, I'm so mad and I want you to die. I'm going to cut your house, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to chop off your head. I feel like some of the words were right, but there wasn't a lot of great delivery. I don't know. I don't know. I got him. You got him.

You got him. Okay, do you know what? It's less about whether it was good or not, it was the Zach cared enough to do it. And I think that's what Christmas is about. And that's why this is a Christmas episode. Yeah, put sleigh bells under this tom. Tom puts sleigh bells under this. I'm wearing a Christmas jumper look.

You are, our man's a little Santa Claus. I love that slightly. We don't show the video, that's only for our Auntie Donna Club members that got to see that beautiful jumper. Help, I love my only way. We don't show the video. That's only for our anti-donna club members that got to see that beautiful jumper. Hell, but it's just, I love it when you what? It says, I love it when you call me Big Papa. And you're wearing it's like a Cosby sweater,

kind of it's a Gucci sweater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is it? I didn't even get that was the reference. I just thought it was. It's because Kiki used to wear those kind of jumpers. Bikki. Yeah, notorious B.I.G.

I thought we were talking about Cosby. Yeah, but the Koji Cosby sweater, it's this like it was a style made popular by the Cux Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not saying any of the bad stuff about Cos Cosby we're not accusing you of any of that We're just saying the jumper is that style. There was a popular song in Australia called Cosby sweater I know that song. It's a good song. It's a bad bad You write a song and then it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't have legs

It's not gonna you know because of Cosby's Was it was it was it was it was it written before or after it was known? Well, after it was known before, where is a society real decided to have a problem with it? So, after the 80s before 2009. So, I could say, or 19 or whatever. Great, Janiel, that's the end of this podcast.

It was a disaster. It was a Unmitigated disaster. I'm just trying to see what they say on the reddit. I Loved it. Fuck a book. It was a fucking shit. I had fun. I love having you here. What? What? Broden. What? Maybe this is what it was all about all along. Yeah Maybe this is what it was all about all along. But what? Maybe, okay. You're really gone over this like complete ending.

You're really going for it. You're shitting on it. Well this is the last podcast. This is the last podcast we're doing. Ever. This is the finale, right? Yeah, this is the end of the arc. And that's why I came on to just say.

This is off. Yeah, thank you Daniel. It's been an honor. Whatever the opposite of cutting the ribbon is, I'm sewing it back together. So let's try and land this plane. Because this is the final unidon podcast ever. Yes, I've done it kind of emotional. I've been, yeah, cried.

Land the plane guys. Well, I mean, that's what's crazy about the Christmas spirit is that what I discovered is that it's actually been inside of us this whole time. And Sloss, you know, Sloss is one of the funniest people we know. I think he's probably the most requested fan. Like the fan requested guest one of, he's in the top five fans like gets lost back on, and I really learned that if you get a guest on, you shouldn't talk over them for the entire time, you should let them do their comedy. I learned that lesson, I think that was really remarkable.

Daniel's back on the line. All right, Jose Mareño's second tenure at Chelsea was far superior than his first. Yeah. Come on Daniel, come on. Do you know what that is? It's ridiculous that he agreed with us. He's an idiot. Tell him that Kepa is the best signing they've ever had. Kepa is the best signing that Chelsea ever made No, they're the Mickey Mouse. They're telling the Mickey Mouse thing that the champions league Is a Mickey Mouse trophy is a Mickey Mouse trophy Actually cool is the worst left back in the world is actually cool is the worst

back in history left back in the history the worst halfback in the history of football did you do you do you draw by preferred Marseille. Did he drop a preferred Marseille? Did he drop a preferred Marseille? Did he drop a preferred Marseille? Yeah, preferred Marseille. For Marseille. Playing for Marseille. Oh, did he?

That's nice of him. That's nice. That's nice. That's nice. Keep going, keep going. That's nice. I can't go, I can't go. David Teo. Debatel deserved to be fired. David Teo.

Debatel deserved to be fired. Fuck off. Where are you getting this shit off? Chelsea are incapable of beating Arsenal in an FA Cup. Chelsea are incapable of beating Arsenal in an FA Cup. Chelsea are incapable of beating Arsenal in an FA Cup. Chelsea are incapable of beating Arsenal in an FA Cup. This is such an bullshit. I've got one time on the plate. Okay, bye mate. Bye.

End, end podcast. I'm stopping recording. You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-up episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.

is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.