Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast EP 24 Feat. STU DAULMAN
Episode Date: December 28, 2016Get around Stu:facebook.com/stuartdaulmancomedystuartdaulman.com/Twitter: @ stu_whatInsty: @ stu_whatCheck our our patreon here:patreon.com/auntydonnaCheck out our live show dates here:auntydonna.com/...shows/ Â Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Discussion (0)
A list-snuff production.
We just recorded just for the record everyone.
We just recorded seven hours of podcast and Tom wasn't recording
So it was a seven hours it was the best stuff so I don't know I don't know what we do now. What do we do?
Can I say something? Yes, yes, you can Congratulations. Thank you. I'm getting the part
Now good on you guys we got the part got the part we got the what you got it
We got the part you got it. We got the part. We got the part You know, could I say a very funny story about that my dad about getting the part about getting the part
What happened the fucking dad
I'd like to know
Did you get the part? Yes, he did he got the part of the part. Hey, sorry
Sorry, can I ask when you I don't have hair anymore
Once they called when you're like combing your hair nice and down there down down down down play
Yeah down play when you down play you're doing your hair
Mm-hmm, and you sort of create a line through your hair. So you comb it in a way.
Part, it's called a part.
Oh, we got the part.
We got the part.
Get that part.
Bit of a pun work for your f**k.
I like that.
I saw I was reading this book the other day.
Yeah.
New testament.
That's a pretty cool book.
That's the best-selling book in the world.
And yeah, this guy, there's Garters.
He says, hey, follow me.
We're going to go through this Flip and River.
Oh, right.
And they're like, what?
Are you Flip and Crave?
Are you drunk?
Geez.
This sounds really cool.
Yeah, yeah.
What he just put in his Bible was for nerds.
No, man.
No, man, it can be really cool.
I've got an edition called Bible for Boys.
And it's sort of got, it's the cover sort of looks like it's made out of
cast iron and
And it says and it just says all the gory bits none of the boring bits when I was a kid my name will kill
He's a lot of all yeah he says so too heaps of minorities get stoned in it
It's great. Yeah, yeah, it's not a good kind when I was a little boy
Stone in it. It's right. Yeah, yeah, when I was not the good God when I was a little boy
When I was a little boy my mom got into God Sometimes I think Jesus. What are you bloody smoking? Yeah, my mom got a book called quiet times with God
When I was when I was a young Catholic boy growing up I entered a Bible reading competition
Yeah, I won not one but two Bibles for boys. Did you have to read the Bible?
You'd read out a section from the Bible maybe about Jesus' resurrection. You were Sam's man,
or how do you mean? I liked the Sam's, they're like poetry, they're a challenge, that's more for
the older boys. By the way, audience, this is now a religious podcast. Yeah, we switched over. As you may have known, as we're not in...
We're in the religious category, not comedy anymore.
We all watched God's not dead, and the classic sequel, God's not dead too.
And the eye-catching must be crazy.
God's must be crazy as well.
One of my best friends at high school was a devout insert religion here,
and there was, you know, had to abstain till marriage and all that.
Yeah. Him and his girlfriend.
Been there.
Oh, so much.
Oh yeah.
I signed that.
I actually signed when I was about 13 years old. I went to a friend's.
This is a great story. I went to, I called up my friend and I said, hey, do you want to go
to the Morel Bonfire?
This is so far so good. Yeah.
So do you want to go to the Morel bonfire? So I've heard of more well.
Yeah, I've heard of the Lichot Valley
we'd get around because we weren't polluting the world enough
and we'd light a big fire.
And stay warm.
We've got to stay warm.
He said I can't because my church is having like a party
and I was like, oh, that's great.
You know, I'm 13.
I've been to a couple of their parties.
There was fizzy drink usually.
Some fun music.
We're talking leido.
Yeah, we're all we're talking solo.
Oh, I'm talking leido.
I'm talking arcing cola.
Any sprite?
No sprite, but definitely lemon fizz.
Or fizz.
Good, really fizz.
Sprite is technically a sin if you drink it.
That's, ah, man.
And I said, yes, I'm going to go.
And then his mom got on the phone with my mom and said,
I don't know. This is, I don't know and then his mum got on the phone with my mum and said I
Don't know this is I don't know if we've told him it's a party I don't know if he will want to go I went there and within two hours of talking about the evils of premarital sex
I signed a thing that said that I would not I would abstain from sex until marriage
And he's stuck to it. Yeah, I stuck to it not by choice several those
Contracts how does so you broke you're going to spend the rest of eternity in hell? Do you know what I love is that sometimes I'll just hear that statistic like do you know
350,000 people have vowed not to have sex before marriage and I'll know that one of them is
Is me Well, you guys talk about what Bible for boys Bible for boys. I got the Bible's for Bible for bullies
What's in there just people beading kids up?
I think you sort of encourages them. Yeah, yeah.
Oh wow, because I would have thought
that would be the official Bible of the Catholic Church.
Oh, snap.
Oh, there's not even realized people are going to be.
Our mics are very firmly placed onto stands
that are screwed into a table.
I don't know how we did it, but somehow Zach dropped the mic.
Yep. Boom. mic. Yep.
Boom.
Boom.
Yeah.
Actually, I have a lot of Catholic friends.
My grandma's a Catholic.
I love and respect all of you, and I'm so sorry.
I'm pretty afraid.
I'm pretty sure I'm a racist.
Anyway, I want to sort of 12-hours.
Somebody's seen all the presidents' men, too.ed almonds. Yes, you know last we got you back on podcast because people loved you so much
I loved you all right guys
You know and it's big and and you had texted a babe. Yeah, go called yeah girl
I don't want to get done. It's in a dude. Do you give a name last night? No, Johnson
Yeah, I'm gonna want that yeah, don't it's in a given name last night. No, you're not Johnson Yeah, I'll give you a girl, but don't give us a real name, okay names
Flirty girl
All right
What flotatious lady
Oh, shit beep that Tom
Okay, so so last we last. Oh God. Just for the record because a lot of
people get mad at us now when we beep things he just said the girl's name.
There's not a funny joke there. We're just trying to protect a poor woman's privacy. So, okay, so.
She lives.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
Anyway, so last time we were talking, you had just gotten.
What's number?
And.
Right, get in the physio, get my back back on track.
Yeah, get in your back on track on track and
And we didn't know whether she was gonna text you back on not now
Do we and we don't know we still don't know what happened
That's
I thought you guys didn't
Tom doesn't know so at least one but at least I wasn't completely like yes
I
Don't say it in that really
Sorry, but no, we are like I only know that much
I really only know like it was about two weeks ago
Yeah, and then I was like oh still telling me let's get you back in the studio
She don't tell me this is all gold!
Let's take your private life and just sort of monetize it.
Yes, it's all gold!
Because we're making so much dosh from the part that drives the whole thing.
Chin chin chin chin.
Oh my god.
Oh, I cut that out, Tommy.
What did you just do?
Oh, nah.
So I just went...
You can't have to at least beat that out.
I just was talking about money, and like I wanted to like a ching-ching like money bling bling but what I did was I went
I ching-ching-chong-chong so
Some of you can just beep out. That's what you meant. That's fine. That's what you meant
It doesn't matter. I was a mistake. I'm at a mistake. It came off in a way. I didn't want it to come off
I will be leaving that note.
So you should start doing open my comedy.
I know, that'd be big on the circuit.
Oh man.
So, yeah.
Okay, you get a text message back.
I thought she'd play cool.
She did play cool.
I'd met it on the Thursday and she texts back at 12.30 in the afternoon on Saturday.
Right on.
So it's like, that's super cool.
Here's the irony.
How come all hot babes are so cool?
And Zach, here's your...
Oh.
Oh.
Zach, here's your ironing.
I did your shirts.
Thank you.
I did your pants.
Thank you.
And there you go.
We as discussed yesterday, here's your DVD copy of The Iron Lady
starring Merrill Streep.
Oh, I thought it was a spin off of the 2009 smash hit The Iron Man.
It is.
The bio-pick on Margaret Thatcher's career is the Prime Minister of the UK.
My favorite part is the third act, where Jeff Bridges dresses up as an even more even even
even and even and even more I am the lady don't sheodles in it. I was gonna say I was looking at
Zach I was looking at him. It's like you look a bit buff we've been pumping on
All right, so she plays it cool. She takes us your back Saturday, the midday.
What's the message? So she goes, oh yeah, we'd like to catch up this catch up next week and we did.
Oh, shit! Where'd you go? What you do? Who's like the other one? Where'd you take her?
I found out she loves graphic, I knew that. I knew that she likes graphic design.
So then, who does it? Who loves a good graphic? I look at bad posters and I go boo, I
look at good posters and I get a sweet. A lot of people don't know but Stu is the
Stu-created manbo. I think that's all the graphics for manbo.
With the pho-whistle? Dolman. Yeah, the dog fart. Yeah, that was just sorry coming back you know in Avengers
Yeah, when they're fighting in New York and it's all rubble and then just out of the at rubble comes
Hello, I'm Margaret Thatcher. I would lead it and then she like fucks up over
She Tom hitle stitch. Yeah, yeah, and then she did the thing with the unions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then she yeah
And then she brought down the aliens by shutting down their main, by privatising their coal mines.
And treating the Irish croak pool.
Yeah, I don't know.
PUNY miners.
Yes, because that's what a simple war was.
Oh, you run a cool do you?
I will close the mines.
Yeah, so that was a superpower. It was a sort of a, it's that thing of like, in Tur Yeah, that was a superpower.
It was a super power.
It's that thing of like,
it's your Captain America Civil War.
There's like, well, Captain America
is sort of fighting, going and getting Superman.
She's fighting Norway for the Fort Forkland Islands.
Yeah, it's a weird B-line for a film.
A lot of that happens in Avengers Age of Thatcher.
Yeah.
Civil Wars.
I'll tell you what, that would just be one more plot line
that that film didn't need.
Am I right, guys?
Have you seen Hulk versus Margaret Thatcher?
I have, yes.
Yeah, it's fucking sick.
Anyway, it's all right.
So, yeah, first two acts are really good.
Yeah.
Third act, where a giant Hulk that chick.
But there's an Easter egg after the credits. There's a thing where another movie is set up.
And that's like, I don't know.
All of them.
My favorite book is Thatcher in the Rye.
And that's just a, that's just a, it's a very short book, but it's just about Margaret
Thatcher getting stuck into a good life of bread.
What confused me though, is that it's multi-grain.
Yeah, which was really weird.
I was like, where's the rye coming from?
I don't know, maybe I missed it.
Maybe it was all subtext.
My favorite book is The Rock Says,
which was a shadow-written book
about The Rock's career as a wrestler.
Oh, that's amazing.
And we are, I'm just waiting for the,
I'm waiting for the Thatcher joke.
I'm waiting for it.
I don't know.
Can you smell with the Thatcher's cooking?
Pretty good.
It's great.
I'm just trying to tell you guys about my favorite book
when I was a kid.
My favorite book.
Thatcher's elbow.
My favorite book at the moment.
Thatcher's elbow.
My favorite book at the moment, that's his elbow. My favourite book at the moment is David Mars,
quarterly essay on Bill Shorten and his rise to power.
I'm more of a Lord of the Flies guy.
I'm more of a Lord of the Fries guy.
The book?
What?
The book?
Look at us.
Today we're going to go make some chippies.
Yeah, it's a great novel.
A lot turned up and wanted some chippies. going to go make some chippies. Yeah, it's a great novel. I like turned up and wanted some chippies.
But it goes by some chippies.
For those who don't know, a lot of the fries is a vegan vegetarian burger joint in Australia.
There's a vegan?
There's a vegan.
Yeah, they do do vegan options.
They're hot dog.
Oh, they're hot dog.
Every time I've had a hot dog, I felt sick.
I don't know.
I don't know what they're putting in there in dogs.
Meat.
Yeah. What? Maybe it's meat. There's meat in't know what they're putting in there in dogs meat. Yeah, what maybe it's me
They're maybe lips bunch of lips, but they're there. Yeah, I see this spicy burger is
Their chicken burger is fantastic. Oh, you know, it's not chicken made of beaks. What? It's not real chicken
No, I don't know. It's made of bigs the wrapper. Yeah, bigs bigs
Bigs Briggs Briggs no beaks beaks beaks of Biggs the Rapper. Biggs. Biggs. Biggs. No, Biggs.
Biggs.
Biggs.
Biggs.
Or birdlips.
Yeah, birdlips.
How'd you date, guys?
That's like an old 50s guy in like a sitcom like calls these what, the old birdlips over
there.
So as the date happens by the way?
Yeah, so it took on a date.
I knew she loved to go graphic.
So I took her out to go see there's a street artist called Ron.
Oh, I know Ron.
Yeah, and he does all these girl pictures.
He draws a lot of girls.
Yeah, like pictures of four girls or pictures of girls.
Oh, because I was imagining things like
loaf that milk and...
No.
That's the worst thing.
And what else is going on?
Oh, I'm attractive girls.
Show my skateboards.
Oh, I was being ironically sexist. I'm skateboards. Oh, I was being ironically sexist.
I'm being class ceiling.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Anyway.
Sorry, we're all a bit depressed, right?
Yeah.
Anyway, so I took it out to this,
because I initially liked good graphic.
So I took it out to the Rowan exhibition,
and it was pretty great.
It was in this abandoned kind of warehouse,
which you converted, and he painted this big girl
at the back.
Huge girl.
I've seen the snap of this.
Yeah.
Big snap, big old girl.
Big face of a girl.
Gigantity, like more, bigger than any girl.
Too big.
Can I just ask?
Too big.
Too big to picture?
Is it a picture of a big girl or a big picture of a girl?
No, it's a girl's face.
It's a big picture of a girl's beautiful face. I reckon right. I'm probably, I'm not speaking for you or your date, but it's a painting.
Like I imagine the girl was a normal sized woman and then they've painted her bigger than a
big version. Any person ever been. I thought it was a 12-bit, 12-bit-tall woman, but a normal sized painting.
No, the name of the exhibition was too big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The idea was that you'd walk in and you'd go,
I can't wait to see this.
No, that's too big.
I'm going to be sitting in the front row at IMAX.
Yeah, I think I've never seen...
Too big!
I've never seen, I've never gone in when IMAX,
and I'm gone, that was a good size.
I'm gone.
That's too big.
It's like when I look in the mirror naked.
Too big.
What are you looking at?
What are you looking at?
Yeah, my asshole.
My gaping asshole.
Yeah.
Too big.
Too big.
I am.
So you took it to the exhibition.
Yeah, it took it to the right now, too.
No, no, no, it was made down.
That's all right.
And there's freebies.
So we had a couple of balls.
Only three.
Only three.
Only three.
Right. That's not enough for one h, and then you got to split the last one.
Another round, another beer.
But these were free three beers.
Free beers.
Free beers.
Free beers, no more teas.
Three teas, no more teas.
Four teas, the present.
So you drink and beer, you're looking at a woman, two big, she's pregnant on the wall.
She's two beer, no. looking at a woman, too big. Big woman on the wall. Yep, she's too big.
You're drinking and then know each other.
Yeah.
This is modern, what's the word for, like, um...
Modern family?
The ABC.
Yeah, this is modern families, starring Sophia Vergara.
Whoa.
Oh, no.
Right.
What's it called, like, a, like, a Gets You in the Moon, like, a thing, a...
Um, it's called...
Affidizia.
This is a modern, affidizia giant women with three free beers.
And a lot of paintings on the side as well.
A few paintings.
So we've got all those paintings of the girls.
So we've got photos of, we've got free free beers.
We've got a big painting,
than in West.
Of a normal girl, not a normal painting.
It's too big.
It's too big.
It's too big.
You're standing there, The game's next here.
Yeah, how's it go? What's the vibe?
We're just having a bit of a chat. Get along quite, quite swimmingly.
Yeah, you know, that's the most important thing. A lot of boys out there who would be thinking,
oh no, the most important things. I have big muscles and a sexy car. Not this guy.
No, not that. Small muscles and
Small no car of which to speak.
Yeah, just like, just go along with everything she says.
So you're like, you're like, hey, I'll just...
You're like, I don't know, huh?
It doesn't matter, like, hey, I'm gonna be...
I'm gonna be fancy car, I don't wear a suit to work.
All I got is my heart, I got my mind,
and I got my skateboard, babe.
And hold on, and I'm wearing this shirt with my sleeves.
Oh, what's on there? It's my bloody heart.
Yeah, I do wear that.
I do.
Because it's the thing, right?
You know, like some girls, they leave, you know,
you've got your skateboard.
Some girls leave boys that like to skate.
No, they say, they say, literally they say,
if you skate a boy, see a later boy.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's what they say.
And still you are a skater boy? Yeah, I've been on a skater boy. And just sometimes girls say, see a lighter boy. Yeah, that's it. That's what I say. And still you are a skater boy. Yeah, I've
been known a skater boy and just sometimes girls say see a lady boy. It has been happening a lot
more often recently. Oh my god. Is this because you're a skater boy? Because I'm a skater boy.
But you know what's comforting about that was I tell me tell me Zach very quickly look up the lyrics
to skater boy. You don't have a lyrics. I'm a of it. She said, but because he like you weren't good enough for that.
Yeah, you were good. I make it anymore of what was she anymore?
She was she was she was everything. It was a punk. She did ballet.
Yeah. Good. I make it anymore. I say.
One more could I say ballet. He wanted her, but she wanted him as well. Oh, it's like the end of season one of Downton Abbey
So because he was the moral of the story, it's like I do want to be with you Thomas
But you must understand granny would never approve of me being with a skater boy
Now watch will I pop of this kick flip.
Everlevene married to now or maybe they divorced?
No they married that guy from some 41.
No, Chad could they divorced.
That was ages ago.
So you got Nickelback and some 41.
Yeah, she hit the big two.
I have a role.
She hit the big two.
And she was with a later boy toy.
She was with the...
It's two later boys.
Yeah, yeah.
And finally enough, only one of them was a skater boy.
The other one was just a bit of a cunt.
Yeah, crick is alright.
Crick is alright.
I'm sorry, but I'm...
I'm so big on, I'm so...
I'm sorry to be dwelling, I'm so big on.
You do not care for me.
Your heart has stopped belonged to me,
not for the fact that I am a man. It is because
I am a middle-class solicitor from the country, and no matter what kickflips I can do.
You do not care for kickflips. George, George, you must quickly come. There's someone
popping shovets down by the... grotto. Popping shovets. Ah, that's a popping. World War
One may be declared, but at least, at least we can do mad Ollie's.
When I was in Year 7 and Skaterboy was a big song, and Skating was cool, it was a little
fat cunt in my class, who was like emotionally bullied all of us.
And he used to-
Oh, this sounds familiar.
Yeah.
And he used to say that he was sponsored by like-
Like, by skating.
There's those-
I was quite common, he's like, people say,
I'm sponsored- I'm sponsored by Dickies.
Yeah, I'm sponsored.
I'm sponsored by Ripkill for surfing,
because I'm- I felt like that and just these things,
they're fifthing.
I made up a really big lie when I was in primary school.
I said, my dad did the graphics on Terminator 2.
Oh my God.
What's God's good. What a 2. Oh my God! What a pitch!
Oh my God!
People would call my God.
They were like, oh yeah, did you know the part where he's like, the metal part where he's
going into metal and the black and white and stuff?
Yeah, my dad did that.
What did you or that do?
He's a photographer.
Oh, that's still very creative.
That's why they bought it. Yeah.
Because like guys in the eyes does stuff with computers. Then yeah, you did the graphic.
South African photography, yeah. Yeah. So that's sort of been like, oh, James, I can't
do this South African accent. Do you help me here? Yeah. My dad totally did the graphics.
Oh, hello there. Hello there, James Cumberland. I've had a bit of an idea. I've had a bit of an
idea for the little
Little Mesh Man. Yeah, we're just looking for someone to do the metal man,
photographer who lives in Australia. Well, absolutely, I'd love to do the graphic design for your
metal man. Great. That's how long it's been down up here. I've been taking some photography and I'd
like to make a little metal man turn into a partner. Where's Stuart's dead?
We're going to offer you $10 million.
I'm fantastic.
I'd love to do that.
I have very many skiless and computer generator.
We were going to speak to this computer generated place in Hollywood, which does professionally
on the front line of changing the way we look at special effects.
You've got to understand I'm living in suburban Melbourne,
so I have a lot of time.
That's cool.
If you could just do it on your Apple too from home, yeah.
Yes, yes.
I'll seek.
All right, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
I'll do it on a personal computer, a Ben time.
One hundred.
Ben time, one hundred.
All right, so you're on the day.
Yeah, on the day going well.
I love the great kids.
I love the great kids.
I love the great kids.
I love the great kids. Yeah, while the day of Melbourne. And then we. Love the graphic. Giant woman. Love in this graphic. Yeah, wildness.
Love it.
And then we're gonna go little volivons, party pies,
no food, just a couple of brews.
Yeah, it's a walk around.
A couple of brews is chew, walk around,
look at some graphics.
I'd digressed, I'm so sorry.
Did you go and get something to eat?
No, we went to, we, she had a couple of friends
that were working at Rainbow Hotel.
Rainbow Hotel.
I had to have Rainbow Hotel.
Great pub.
Great steaks. I caught up there with Adrian I was at Rainbow Hotel. Great pub. Great steaks.
I caught up there with Adrian the other day.
Ooh.
Oh yeah.
I lived just around the corner.
It is just around the corner.
Stu actually lives in the house.
I used to live in.
I was moving out of this house.
And then Stu moved into my room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I love that house.
We wrote 99 in that house. Yeah. We wrote 99 in that house.
Yeah, we wrote 99 in that house.
How do you know?
Those walls could talk.
A lot of history, a lot of history and nothing.
I went in every room of that house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I got home.
I actually did.
I actually did.
Including your room.
That one that Jess doesn't use the office that looks over there.
I want to open those doors, but I can't.
Yeah, I know. It's an old house, and there's lots of mysteries, lots of history,
but if those walls could talk.
So, anyway, I'm going to the date.
Went to the rainbow. She knew someone behind the bars, so we got five dollar pints.
Awww! Couple of cheap brews, couple of free brews. Went to the rainbow, she knew someone behind the bars, so we got five dollar pints. Aaaaah!
Couple of cheap bruise, couple of free bruise.
With free bruise. So you're up, you're up at this point, fine.
I'm winning. You're winning, yeah, you're winning.
I'm back to winning. Yeah.
And then we followed each other on Instagram.
Yes.
And then next thing you know, she...
We just kind of ended at about 11 o'clock. And that was it. Oh, that's nice. And then she gave me a kind of ended about 11 o'clock.
And that was it.
Oh, that's nice.
And then she gave me a bit of a peck on the lips.
Oh, she got in the Uber, went home.
And then she went back to her home in, oh, I'd say it.
Well, you've already said it.
And then just don't point this, this don't point this night.
So you, you go out for, ah, very nice.
Yeah, it's a free beer.
It's a free beer. You're free beers. very nice. Man, some love's aggressive.
You're free of beers, very nice.
Man, cheap beers.
It's a nice day for a day date.
A nice date.
So it started at minute about 6.30.
You know what?
Do you know what the name for a day date is?
A date.
No, but I was just asking what is right.
I put a date together. Do you know what the name is? Wait, I don't know what date you I put day and date together.
Do you know what the name is?
Wait, I don't know what date you're talking to.
You could be talking about a dried plum.
I'm starting date D-A-Y-T-E.
Oh, that's a prune.
What's a date?
Is a date of its own thing?
Date of its own thing.
You dry the, you dry the, sorry, I have to explain.
What just happened? No, no, no, I have to explain. What just happened?
No, no, no, it's fine.
No, it's funny because I just, I was just trying to very subtly, it's not your fault, this
is absolutely my fault.
The reason why I just stopped talking for like seven minutes was because Tom was pointing
to Mark to get closer to the microphone.
And then I was like, oh, I'll help out.
So I started pointing to my microphone
but showing how close I was to it.
Whilst you were just saying prune date.
While I was saying prune date.
Prune date.
Prune date.
And it's a dried prune.
Trying to very subtly just say,
hey, let's keep it rolling, Mark,
get closer to the microphone.
We're gonna keep this podcast rolling,
real professional like, and I fell apart,
we all fell apart, but the most difficult thing
I was just overheard going,
just like this to no one looking at me.
Well, at least it worked.
Well, the notion.
Yeah.
At least now you can hear me real.
Yeah.
The notion that Mark would have seen Tom
and understood much sooner if I had never
involved myself in this situation.
Yeah. So, uh, anyway, it's all on the gram, phone on the gram.
And now, and now we're just waiting for the next thing that happened.
Because she was finishing up a uni. Oh, he's a thing as well.
She told me that, well, my friend told me that she was like 27.
10's out to 23.
Eee.
I'm a 42.
I'm a 42.
That's a big age difference.
Yeah, 72.
I was born in it.
Oh, yeah, because I forget that you are 49 years old.
Well, you know how they say people born in the leap year and then they're four years old
when they're 16?
No.
Well, I'm a leap month, so I technically have four birthdays
a year.
Oh, how does that work?
So I'm 103.
Wow.
104.
104.
And she's 23.
Yeah.
See, that's huge.
Because when, how long, when she was born, how old were you? 81. Yeah, so that's huge. when when she was born how old were you 81?
Yeah, so that's huge and when you were in your eight out of real ashy dick when she was
Ashy
Real cloudy
You know what I thought you was just like my cousin Ashley. Oh, no, no, it's like you know when all people get when you get old
You get a real ashy dick No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's like you know when old people get when you get old you get a real ashy dick
No, I didn't know that maybe it's just me you need to see more old people I do I just I wrote that in my journal this morning. I'm so
My dad's fairly old. I don't know. He's not that old. He's like 50 something
I'm not sure if I've already spoken about this if I told you guys about I saw my dad's dick
Maybe you told me.
I've seen to the remembered.
Yeah, I've never already explained that.
But that's so unlike you.
You've usually got such a filter.
I know.
Usually I don't tell these things.
I think the podcast aid is called Mark talking about
Charlie Bermanos-Willie.
So, look, it's just come up for me again,
and I don't know if I've already explained this.
I will explain it again, because I think it's fascinating.
But the other night I was hanging out with my dad
who's gone old, because he's an old man,
my brother who's got a, not as old of a dick,
and me who has the youngest dick out of the three boys.
It's like a bell curve of dicks.
It's a bell curve of dicks.
And we all found out that our dicks look the same, because my dick looks a little bit different. That's really special. And
my dad shared that with you. My brother and I, I was like, hey, do you have like a shorter
foreskin with your nose? All right, that's hard. So no, no, no. I'm so glad I let you keep talking
because what became apparent to me all too late was that it was through conversation that that realization
Who was in there and having a coffee and I was like hey
Just just for coffee
Was it like coffee club?
Imagine you and your dad in the doc
Your penis is next to each other and just comparing them. Yeah, guys
Coffee club at Dockley now. I am sorry if I have told that story before no, not about you
But yeah, it was so assuring it was so assuring to know that my dick wasn't alone
To other dicks just like it
Catch the banana bones still for spoon. Yeah, the banana bones.
The banana bones, yeah.
They all have a similar design.
So if you work with Mark's brother
in the graphic design industry,
or does he love a good graphic or?
Pardon?
Well, he's a graphic designer.
He's built a whole career off its shoe.
Love is a graphic, so he's on climbing.
Yeah, kind of client of his or.
Yeah.
So any more to the story?
Well, yeah, she was finishing uni,
she was finishing, because she was finishing
a graphic design course.
Oh, hence the love for graphic design.
All the pieces of the puzzle are falling together.
And then I haven't seen her since.
Oh, wow.
That was four years ago with him.
Yeah.
Well, look, I'll do.
I think it's cross you'll get back to me.
We'll get you back in a couple of weeks.
I'll tell you about that.
Last night was really funny.
I hope it's the...
I went and saw Stuart Crab last night.
A comedy remeber.
It's called Crab Blow.
I just sort of abbreviated it.
Crab.
There was a woman screaming during your set.
You guess she...
She having a heart attack. She was at certain screaming during your set. Yeah. And then you guess she... Well, she having a heart attack.
No, she was like, at certain lines of his comedy,
Yeah.
She was like, you know, going, yeah, I love that.
Oh, you.
And then he yelled at his mobile phone number.
He's like, yeah, eight five never have a limit.
And yeah, and I was like, I hope she actually does call him.
Well, what happened was she stuck around after this guy.
Hey.
And she gave him my number.
Like the food fighter song.
I gave him my number. I gave him my number.
I gave him my number again.
Because like I did, you love lanking?
And then like, do you, who loves me a cat manna?
Boo!
This is a little bit of him working on.
She's an animal fam.
Maybe she's a zoologist.
Yeah, that was a really good bit, by the way.
I really liked that.
Oh, thanks man.
Was that the first night of it?
Or I've been trying for the last week.
Yeah, I like it.
I don't know the bit,
but the sheer fact that it's about me a cat manner.
Yep.
Do you want to do it?
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
Do five.
Do five.
No, but if you do want to see Stu do five,
you can usually catch him at crab lab comedy on Wednesday nights.
What FMV you in?
I don't know yet. Yeah. I don't think
even think now we don't know. FMV is not a single listener, we'll understand what
that is. It's a festival managed venue. It's a menu. It's a menu that comes
at Thai restaurants. No, it's a it's a venue that the Melbourne Comedy Festival gives to people.
I just remembered, I just remembered, I never told the story at the very top and I'll just
tell it very quickly.
So I'm talking to my dad on Saturday, I went home for the weekend, got your Dicks out,
we got our Dicks out, we were comparing.
It's all the same.
No, no, and he said to me, he was like,
so you've got a bit of a, you've got an ad.
You've got an ad?
And I was like, what?
He's like, you've got an ad.
You've got some sort of ad.
I'm like, what?
He's like, on the Twitter, on the radio thing,
your friend Stu said that you've got some sort of part
into that.
You're dead on Twitter?
Yeah, no, yeah, he's not on Twitter, but he'll go on to our Twitter account and how keep up you can do it
What is good internet and keep and Twitter dot com look at Twitter
Thanks for that. It's like a little thing called Google. We were on ABC to last week out of 2016. Yeah, tune it to your live little things
Are you guys did the only people I know that care the shout out Mark
Care about it was really nice pleasure. Yeah, the people that care about it were my mom my dad my aunties
and Beth and Anthony who are family friends of mom and dad and Rosie as well
Sam's Rosie Rosie she watching oh great, but like anyone over 40 watch who still watches TV was no and they rang me
They say so the the offers coming in
What do you mean by that? I don't know that was the offer
Did you hear that ABC is going to HD? Oh, yeah, I know
Amazing can you believe that we have come so far?
Fuck yeah, that's gonna be great. Imagine watching Bit of Holmes and Australian's Gardens.
Imagine it's gonna be crazy.
I'm so excited for HD.
I love the HD.
I love the HD.
The 7th area of Port 4 corner's an HD.
4 corners, but I'm getting ready for some media watching HD.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Q&A.
Q&A HD.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Spix and Specs, old Spix and Specs, reruns and HD.
Remastered Spix and Specs.
Q&A, the questions are sharp.
The answer's a sharper.
Now all blood vision is doubly sharp.
Oh, it's coming from, I'm gonna get it.
Stiffy.
Oh, compass in HD.
compass, a straight, landline.
Landline in HD.
Anyway.
Oh, thanks so much for joining us on the podcast this Wednesday.
It's a wrap.
We've had that's the best time.
I hope all goes well for you in love and life.
And oh yeah, that's so I think it was number.
That's great.
We've got to hear about her next time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is a baker.
Ooh.
Oh, we first had a babe.
Now we've got a baker.
Maybe she'll bake your heart when she will love loaf.
Yes, well, but you're gonna get to meet the candlestick maker.
Does she work at a baker's delight?
She's right now, she's mighty light.
Brumbies?
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, Stu Dolman, he's a baker's delight right now.
All right.
He's a bloody cheesy white scroll.
He's a Ferguson's, Patisserie.
He's a garlic and cheese twist apart.
Is this just gonna be thinking every time I come
and we talk about what?
Your love life.
I'm sorry that that happened.
No, we're that bad.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So many bad babes with Donner and Stu.
Thanks so much guys.
You get a long-term girlfriend is the day this podcast ends.
So I hope you're never happy.
That's good night.
Good night, Australia.
Good night.
You've been listening to the Antidona podcast.
Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com.
See you next week.
you