Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 268 - Shark Tank

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

Welcome to a fun episode of Shark Tank! auntydonna.com haventyoudonewell.com auntydonnaclub.comJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get a Legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Antidonna podcast. This week we have an episode of Shark Tank. Antidonna and the Metricle Dead Cat Tour is on sale now. You can get tickets at antidonna.com. Welcome to Shark Tank. Or dragons then, or I think Lions Cave is the Japanese version of the show. But Shark Tank, Shark Tank, the one where you pitch to millionaires and billionaires, you business idea, and then they extort you. On today's episode, Zachary Rewain

is coming to the sharks with a very innovative idea. Hello sharks. A minor. Hello. A minor. Good. Good. Great.

What are you pitching today? I'm about to tell you what was your name first. Hi, good, hello shark. Hi, hi. I'm a millionaire. I know, I know. Are you? No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, sorry, he does this. Wait, if you could, wait until they've pitched before you make an offer, I would really appreciate that.

Okay. Purely because I'm concerned for you, I'm sorry. Yeah. It's okay, you don't have to apologize. It makes sense. Think I got. Think I got. Do you think I got to this position in my career by making rookie mistakes?

Lenny? I'm just saying I think it makes sense. I'm a millionaire. I have a million dollars in the bank right now. I have two. Oh wow. I am a millionaire. Please, pitch. Okay. So, hey, so, hi. Hi. Okay. So, yeah, I'm really good. You look well. So, I just say, don't be nervous. Oh, yeah, don't be nervous. That's a

huge pass on. I'm so nervous. Not about you guys. I've pitched to a lot of businesses. I'm nervous about the cameras and the television. I don't worry about that. With $15 million help. I would like to give that to you. No.

Okay, so stop the music. You have to stop making offers before you hear the product. You've invested, you've invested $8 million today already, and we haven't heard a single product. Please, please, please just let one contest then get there offer out. So I know what it is, and then I can make a decision about whether I want to invest or not.

So Lenny, Lenny, I would love to hear him out. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny. This is up George Broden. Lenny and George Broden. His name is Lenny and last is surname is Broden. Wow. I would like to offer you $10 million for 5% equity in your business. That's $10 million? If you take it, 5% equity. That's a vote, that's sorry just to... Oh no wait, sorry I haven't heard it yet. Sorry fuck, I jumped a gun too.

No, no, no, no go, pitch it first. Mark, I'm for you. I'm for you. $15 million right now. What for? I'm not pitching anything. No, good point. I withdraw my offer.

All right. I'll take the five million. It wasn't 10 million for five percent. Pants down around the pool table. I wasn't 10 million for five percent. Hands down around the pool table. Turn around. Sorry, sometimes just so you know contestants there. Sometimes George Broden and me, we just like to put on a bit of eagle rock.

We like to get down, down and dirty, rock out, let our hair down. When we're feeling a little stressed. L Lenny, can I just explain the power dynamic that's going on right now? Can I just explain to you the power dynamic that's happening right now? Yeah, please. This is my first television appearance. This is my only business.

Okay. When I come in here and you are my last port of call, I've gone to venture capital. No, listen to me here. I would like. Listen to what I have to say. To offer you. I'm just gonna let him do it this time.

I'm gonna let him fuck him. I'm just gonna let him get himself in trouble because do you understand that I can't stop you from all this Eagle Rock and these silly offers? I can't stop you because if I stop you, my opportunity for investment is gone. Do you understand where I'm at? 15 million dollars.

I'll take it. Deal. Deal. All right. Okay, so now that that's out of the way, let me write you a check. We just can, can I just, just for my own piece of mine.

Can I? Do you accept dollar mites? Do you accept dollar mites? Absolutely, yes. Great. Well, that's great. Do you have your little check book Absolutely, yes. That's great. Do you have your little checkbook with the cartoon characters on it? I've been... The producers explained to me... The producers explained to me that there would be like a checks and balances process

after this. So you're just signing me the check right now. Yes. And it's a dollar mites check. Oh, thrifty little saver. signing me the check right now. Yes, and it's a dollar might check. Oh, thrifty little saver. I'm a thrifty little saver. Yeah, it's sick.

You've already closed this deal, which is, it is unheard of, but during the course of the taping of this show, since we've had George Broderon, it has happened a lot. So the other thing that I want to just address We don't know if he has any of this money This is the first time he's been on the show and he's made this kind of offer to every contestant so far Has he given them has he given them a check? He's given them a dollar might check. Yes

How when did he start filming? My question is, if he doesn't have all the money he's offered, but he has some of the money, if I zip out right now with this check, do you think there's a chance I could get ahead of some of the other people before the check start bouncing? I would have said yes, if every other contestant hadn't also asked that question. My question is when did he start giving out checks because I'm envisioning this in like a catch me if you can pre-intimate age where I have two days to catch this check before they realize frauds happening. Well, it depends. I mean, I've seen him hand out about four checks so far. George, do you have in the last two days to this

let me tell you that let me say something all of the war rock and i thought maybe you'd want to um... while you were telling that listen to a bit of the rock i would but then i'm to all i'm thinking about is dropping the decks and run around the pool table. Hey guys, it's me, the producer of the show. Hey, that zack just rumbled.

I would like to offer you. What in the way? Just wait. Cause they're not even, I contested on the show and I'm pitching anything where, I think we're in trouble now. So maybe. No, I'm willing to hear him out.

All right. $15 million. Yeah, all right, I'll take it. There you go. Thank you, I'm gonna run. I'm gonna take it out. Please, please, wait, please, wait. I have to be clear.

Hey guys, it's me, it's the director. That guy just fucked off. So we're gonna have to take a break. All right, we're gonna have to take a break as long as it takes for him to get back. How is everyone? Can I get you guys a water or anything? I... There's one thing I need.

Yeah? I need money. Yeah, he needs about $60 million. I reckon. I am in big trouble with my bank. Have they been in touch yet? No, but I know it's kind of. I don't know, yeah. Well, they've been calling me up about like, Hey, you should open a

streamline, savoury countermeyer. You don't know how much money I've dropped in the last two days on this show. I just want to impress you guys. Look, we're so okay. I was just so very impressed. Like, you don't have to worry about that. What we're so okay. I was just saying, you're all very impressed. You don't have to worry about that. What would be more concerned about? I'm not too concerned about George. I'm concerned about the check he signed for me yesterday. So I might just zip out.

Well, you just took another check just then. No, I'm a different person. I'm the director. Yeah, but you can just offer to use the director a check for $50 million just to... No, no, no no that was the last guy That was the last guy that was the producer Yes

I'm the another guy the producer. All right. Okay. I've got confused. I've got a run. I've got a run. All right Zach No, he's not here. He left. He was the first one. Let's bring the next contestant in. We can't. The producer and the director have left. I can do it.

I can do it. I can produce. I can direct. I'm the only one on this show I think has money. I have great $100 million. Can I have some? Well, what are you offering me? $15 million. I'll give you $2 million are you offering me? $15 million.

I'll give you $2 million and you'll give me $15 million? Yeah. Is it in the bank? Yes. All right, deal. Shake on it. Deal. Do we want to bring on the next contestant?

I reckon we can have fun. Yeah, all right. Let's bring them on. I have no more. Oh, noant? I reckon we can have that. Yeah, all right, let's bring them on. I have no more. Oh, no way, I've got $15 million. Yeah, you can't wait until... I've got something to tell this next guy. All right, I'm very excited.

Can you tell him something? Can we just let him talk? Because we're burning through contestants and we usually only do like four or five people in an hour and we've got like two minutes of content over the last four days. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause they come in, you sign them a check, you scare them that there's not enough in the bank account and then they run away. Every time. Yeah, I'd love, I would love to hear a single pitch that I've got, I mean, I'm down too, but I'm up 15. So I've got $13 million. I've got two, I've got two real million dollars. What do you mean by real? What, why did you say that? I would like to offer you. Me? Two million

dollars. I'll take that. I'll absolutely take that. I've already got that. So that just means I know. No, I know. Maybe I've gotten out of a shady deal thankfully. Deal. Deal. Oh, your hands are wet.

Are you guys kissing? I've not watched any of these shows. You haven't watched Dragon's Man. No, I know. That became very apparent. Oh, yeah. All right, so this is how it works, bro. So Zach will come in. He'll pitch us an idea, some sort of idea, some sort of concept, a product,

like a dick short nut, you know, something that I would invest in. I would like to offer you, Mark. What? 15 million dollars. So you've gone, you're doing a double arc now, because now we're talking off the podcast, out of character, trying to explain the way

the show works you, and you're still making offers. Bring him in. I will take that away though. Yeah, who? What? are we in character now? No, no It's be a different character now be it can be the same Zach Come in as a wacky character and pictures an idea or a normal character with a wacky idea or a wacky character with a normal idea Or a normal Normal character with a normal character. Yeah

Yeah, what do you think of that? OK, I got this. Hi. My name is Greg. We all have chairs, but what are we using for? Sitting. We all have chairs, but what are we using for? Sitting.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Selling, selling wholesale, selling wholesale for money. You're onto it. You're on the floor. Putting that's what's wrong with him. He thinks about, oh, he's an opportunity. I'm going to take it for myself. I think, how can I monetize that?

And that's why I mean, obviously you fucking sell. That's good. That's that's. No, what do you mean you fucking sell. That's good. That's... No. What do you mean that's good? That's a really good idea. I mean, this is what I'm talking about. I'll just do my paycheck.

I'll do my paycheck. So, I was going to propose that we build some chairs and then sit in them because they're comfy. Right? But I need a dragon, I need that level of expertise to help me take it to the next level. And the idea of selling them? That's exactly what I want from you. And that's why I'm actually willing to offer you 20% of my company for a mere $5 million. Well, okay. I think that's a deal you done?

Yeah, okay, great. I'd like to hear out Lenny. I'd love to hear your offer Lenny or if you have any questions. I'm not making any fun, because you obviously don't know your business well enough, all right. You came in here and your business idea

was to make chairs and sit in them. I'm already sitting in a chair. Why would I need to make another chair to sit in it? And then the idea of selling those chairs comes up and you go, that's a good idea. No shit. You have to make sure a lot. You have to make them because they come in a flat pack. You have to build them. So I'm just saying, I'm going to.

I'll be happy to build them for you. I'll be happy I enjoy it. Yeah. Is it that just IKEA? No, no, you wait. After you buy them from IKEA, you have to build them. So I was sort of proposing we build the chairs so we can sit in them.

Because I've got lots of stuff. I'd be happy to do that for free. I'd be happy to do that. Yeah. Do you want to need a chair? I'll build that for you. No. Yeah, that's good.

But do you want to be in on my building chairs business? No. No, if you need a chair built, just come around in my house. I'll build you a chair. So you are out? I don't want people having to sit on the floor. Can you imagine? I said I'm talking about that's why I think we should team up man. No, no I think I'll anyone wants to come around. I got you man. George, do you not have any chairs in your house currently?

I got you, man. George, do you not have any chairs in your house currently? I don't know what a chair is. Okay, well that's a big problem for you, Zach, considering that a drag and that is investing in your product is unaware of what the product is. And also the product is a chair, which have been around for a couple of years. Hang on. Are we talking about chairs? No. No, no, cheers. What's a

Jair? What's a Jair? A Jair is something made usually of wood or steel. You set it at a table and you know, you know, you know, in a car, there's usually five jays. I think you've misled a j for cutlery. And what's the thing? I know what cheers are. Oh, it's back. I love this song. It's a good song. We'll be right back after this break. Good song!

Um, we'll be right back after this break. So, so far on Dragon's Den, Zack has come in with an offer. We didn't get to hear it and he's run off to the bank to check... to cash a dollar might check that that probably isn't gonna check. It's a race against time. Let's join Zach at the bank right now Hello hi Like to cash this check please. I was this a dollar mites check This is this is just this has been written on a piece of toilet paper This is just, this has just been written on a piece of toilet paper. I thought so.

Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, I suspect it was there. It's pooed on it, would you? Oh no, that was, that's my poo. Did you wipe your bum with bits? Yes. Oh. As I suspected it to be toilet paper.

Okay, because if it was check, I wouldn't accept it, it was poo on it. So there's a chance it is a check and I just need to clean it? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I was saying it's definitely toilet paper. And there's poo on it. What I was saying was... Sorry, but I need to be really clear. It was just a safety wipe.

Yeah. It was just like... It was not a lot of poo on it, but I need to be really clear. It was just a safety wipe. Yeah. It was just like, a lot of poo on it, but it was just doing away. I was doing away and I just like, I've been a bit diary, so it was just a safety wipe. It's not from a poo. Do you know does that make sense? It does. And all I'm saying is I won't accept a fake check written on toilet paper with poo on it as much as I wouldn't accept a real check with with poo on it It doesn't matter how much I can poo

I get that I understand that but you're telling me if I can get the poo of this check It's good. What's not a check? I just I just want to get clarity before I go and clean the poo off this check. I want to get this and I'll send a follow up email on this. This check is good for $5 million. So long as I get the poo off it. I'll tell you what, I've already explained you it's not a check. But if you can get the poo off this piece of toilet paper, I will give you some money. I'm not going to tell you how much, but I just think that'll be impressive if you can

clean without destroying the integrity of the piece of toilet paper. But if I were you, I would spend your time. That's what you think. I've told you clearly, it's not. If I were you, I'd go back to the person who gave you this and talk to them about it. I can't. It's on a closed set and I left. There's no way I'm getting back in that set. Oh, all right. Restrictions and everything. I think you'd be fine when I went.

I was going to go to a science man. I was gonna go follow this up bill nine. Yeah, Bill neither science guy. You mind if I go do that? All right. Why the science guys? Yeah, you'll build neither science guy. Hi. Hello, how are you? I think I'm good. I don't know. I don't really know why I'm me or who I am. Okay.

So I've called you in today because I have a problem. I have a very thin tissuey check worth of $5 million. And I need the best scientist in the world to remove the poo without ruining the integrity of that thin tissuey check. If you can do that, I'm willing to give you 20% of the profits tissuey check. Oh, if you can do that, I'm willing to give you 20% of the profits of this check. Do I know science? I believe so.

I've not watched anything starring you. I would have gone with Dr. Carl, but Mark said science, Bill neither Science Guy. Oh, you got it. I would say, was spraying what? No, no, that would hurt the integrity of the tissue, the tissue we check. I've got no fucking idea then.

Isn't that funny? All the science in the world, you can't even clean a tissuey check of boo Can't clean the Oh, it's you then tissue Che All the science in the world we've traveled to the moon can't even do that. I'm sorry. I'll let you down bro

Do you have any advice as to who I should go to next? You should go to Dr. Carl Yeah, but do you think he's gonna offer anything else because I've I've looked to science and I see no answers I can't be go to church to church to the divine church. So have you ever been to church? To church. To divine church. So what you want? Yeah. Not anything, anything really.

I just worry that the scene will be exactly the same with Dr. Carl. Just a more Mark version. Let's go to the church. You want to go to Dr. Carl first? Let's go to Dr. Carl, I'm going to be sure. All right. Let's go to Dr. Carl.

Hi, Dr. Carl. Hi, Dr. Carl. Oh, hello, hello, hello. Hi. I feel not. I need to be clear. I don't really know who Dr. Carl is. I mean, I know who he is. I haven't listened to a lot of him.

We met him. We met him at Splendor in the grass. Yeah, I know, but I, I, I, I, he wears my shirts. I know he wears loud shirts. Yeah, and his wife is his manager. Yep, okay, great. Hi, hi, oh, sorry, I'm part of my wife. She's my manager. Hi, it's good so far. Hi, he's got all the information there. Hi, hi, how can I help you?

She doesn't mention the loud shirts. And I help you. I'm wearing a loud shirt. How can I help you? Ah, it's all there. You're a loud shirt. How can I help you? Ah, it's all there Yes, we met yes, is that we met at splinter a good shocks tank We miss it really good. It's gone on a journey. No. Yeah, yes bill. How did you know that I was on shocks tanks? Bill how did you know I'm such shocks tanks? Um, I'll be watching I see you on the telly, this is all life feed of shark's tank.

You get a life feed of sharks, thanks, Jeeze. It really is a different life for the television, for the celebrities. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I met Zach, it's been there in the grass. My wife's just in here with a cup of tea, she's my manager, while I'm wearing quite a loud shirt. It's all the information you need. What can I help you with?

So, should I explain Bill Niner's science guy or should you? I've got to go to a science appointment. So, I'm getting new beakers. Just organizing new beakers. Oh, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife and my manager, who can I assist my beakers? Really? Really?

Yeah. She also supplies me with loud shirts. Each shirt louder than the next. I just would think that you guys would be looking at less than a beaker. Is that all the info that I speak from him? Yeah. And more for media opportunities.

You know what I'm saying? I can't surprise you're still doing lab work at this point in your careers as sort of science spokespeople. Well, what science is our science is our is our hobby our passion. So I have tattooed down the side of my dick. Science never stops. I love that. That's so fucking sick. But I have a lot of doubts about science and if you fail me, Dr. Carl, I will turn to the church for my hits, which I think would be very funny. But first up, Dr. Carl, I have a thin tissuey check. I believe it to be authentic and I have had it confirmed by an

employee at West Bank. I have a thin tissuey check. It's got a slight, the slightest smear of poo and a little bit of sweat from a safety wipe. Tell me, what answers are there in the realm of science to removing the poo without hurting the structural integrity. Compromising the integrity of the check. Compromising the integrity of the check. Absolutely. Well, first of all, I think the first thing to one to address here is that this is not a check This is not a check

Hmm, this is a piece of toilet paper that has Okay, so I talk sorry. Here's all right. Here's the deal. Yeah, I told well I talked to the bad people already. No, listen to me. You were very familiar. Fucking hell. She's out of the mood, buying me a shirt. Right, so loud that it paid. I was just in Westpac, 10 minutes ago, and I was leaning on their expertise to get

that advice. And I have been informed that this check is legitimate. The only issue is a thin streak of poo in its center and potentially the creases from the wipe. All I need from you is the ability, you stay in your lane. All right. Yes.

I don't care about your thoughts on whether this is a check or not. There's lots of different kinds of checks. Okay. Yes. Can you remove the poo or do I need to seek my answers elsewhere? You may need to seek your answers elsewhere. The only thing I can think of that comes to my immediate mind. Have you heard the song, Eagle Rock by Daddy Cool?

Oh, fuck yeah. He's going to play that on the rock. He's going to play that on the rock. Yeah! So I found that this is often quite good for getting stains out of me. Now tell you I hadn't heard evil wrought, I hadn't heard evil wrought for weeks and just today you're like the third person to play it for me. Really? Yeah.

But it's a very popular song.. It's a very popular song. It's actually a very popular song. I haven't today and one day for people to go completely off topic. Different people in different situations. It's quite unspriced. Would you like to check the piece of toilet paper now? I don't trust you. I don't trust you with my toilet paper.

Okay, but just look. Just look at it. Oh, you've removed the poo within a while. Why don't I have, I was doing an experiment. And then I said, look, you said, I don't trust you. Just look, just see. I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking. Is the structural integrity of the toilet paper,

been compromised? The structural integrity of the, well, it's not toilet paper of the toilet paper. Bink compromise. The structural integrity of the, well, it's not toilet paper of the thin tissuey check. He's intact. And are we doing a shark tank? No, we left shark tank. Is the poo still there? Yes, the poo is still there.

Well, unfortunately, that's all I can offer you. Unless you would like to borrow a shirt, but it would have to be a quiet shirt from earlier in my collection when I don't wear as much anymore because they have gotten progressively louder. So I could give you. I listen and I really acquire a shirt.

I talk to the great minds, I've talked to the great minds of science and now I must seek my answers elsewhere. Now I shall must find Pilgrimaging to the Vatican to talk to the Pope himself. Yeah, mama, mama, je lap, yeah, mama, je lap. Hello, Pope. I don't know what that was.

I was this one. I turned him over to Italian. He's from Bonazzirus, I believe. I was this one. I sound more Italian. He's from Buenos Aires, I believe. I'm probably wrong. He doesn't matter. It's all the same. I'll just do an old foreign man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm drawing to give you a little like, like some people that Zach has to walk past. Yeah, before he gets to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I love Eagle Rock. This way to the pole. I'm so sorry, I'm on the way to the pole, but I'm going to tell you, I had not heard Eagle Rock for weeks today, just today. You're like the fourth person to play it for me. Is that a kind of Vatican love equal, rock and daddy cool? Okay, yeah, that's a fence. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. All right, now I must get the answers with which I seek.

This is where I'm going. I must speak to Pope Jonathan Price. Jonathan Price is through these doors. Go through them, my child. I am Archbishop Lee Colbert. Hello. Do you wish to see Pope? Um, Jonathan. or Anthony Hopkins?

No, but that is that is what that is that which I wish to speak to him about. I like it like he face a great challenge in my life. I should I talk. I don't want to repeat myself. How much do I need to tell you to get through to him? No, I just said, I get in there, brah. Ah, sick brahs, thanks so much. Hey, have you heard Eagle Rock? Man, not only have I heard it, I've done a hip hop track to it. Are you kidding me? I have to check it.

I have to check it. Out with my mates getting beers at night. Out with my mates, I'm getting a cavit of fright. We like streaks, drop and goon. Getting having some fun. I'm artificially cold, but... Oh, from mountain. Okay. Bye.

Bye-bye. Archbishop, Archb Archbishop Archbithub Archbishop Pope Jonathan Price Thank you for granting my audience Yeah, what price you have you may ask questions three three Okay, don't you see

three, three questions. Okay. Don't you see? Jonathan Price, my first question to you is you, I, what, how did you know? Get to the point. Get to the point. That it was, that you were ready to take on the mantle from Pope Anthony Hopkins. When the time is right, God will guide you there dear boy. Ah cool. Second question is, I've got a thin tissuey chip. it's printed with the biro and it's thin and it's tissuey and there's a small straight, there's ever so small a streak of poo, a little bit of bum sweat and a few creases but that's irrelevant. I need to know for you the check. There you go. I've spoken to the great men of science, Bill Nye, the science guy, and the Australian

version of him. I don't think you'd know him, but he's very good. Dr. Carl. Lou Churd. Oh, you know Dr. Carl, yeah, that's great. Anyway, I've spoken to the great men of science in this world and they have given me no answers. So now I seek my answers in the spiritual realm. Can you, Pope Jonathan Price, remove this thing's streak of poo from the tissuey check without?

And I say this is important without ruining the structural integrity of the tissuey check nor the biro that the contents of the check are written in. This isn't a check, man. nor the biro that the contents of the check are written in. This isn't a check, man. Cain? It's not a check, bro. Cain, all right, Cain? I have it on check, man. It's not.

I spoke to a guy at Westpac who insists that he's worth. It's not a check, man. It's good for five million. It's fucking not, man. spoke to a guy at Westpac who insisted his worth. It's not a check, but it's good for five million. It's fucking not, man. It's not check. You got, I'm not coming to you for financial advice, man. I'm coming to you for spiritual advice. Stick to your lane, man. Fucking pray then, Cunt, but this is not a check, man.

Fucking pray. Is that really all you're giving me? Is that all you're giving me? You that all you're giving me? Yeah. You've asked you many questions now. Bye, come on. Oh, that is not my, I can't. Bye, come on. That does not count, come on.

Zach. I'm telling you what does, mate. I'm telling you what does. Zachy. Zach, look at this. I've seeked my answers in the world. I can give you a little sleep. Before I go, a little fee.

Before I go, Poked Jonathan Price. Oh, you know what I'm saying? You're not here. You're not here this fucking character talking? I couldn't hear it initially. Is it a little mouse? A little mouse, I'm a little show, little mouse. Hi!

Oh, hello. Hi, how are you? He was talking for so long. Yeah, you can hear it from him at all. I understand that I'm shy and I've got a tiny little voice. You do have a little voice, little mouse. Hello. I might be able to help you. Can I tell you a little mouse?

I love your little mouse t-shirt and your little mouse cocky shorts. Thank you very much. I'm like your um, duck Martin feets. They're very cute, but they're your um, dog Martin feats, they're very cute but they're the size of a house to me! Wow, at the size of your little converse sneakers, they're the size of a needle thread. Yeah! We'll be! Yeah, yeah, we're different in size, that's pretty crazy.

Tell me a little mouse. Can you ever love a man? I could love a man. I've loved a woman before. Um, and I've loved a man, uh, I'm by. I'm gonna buy a little mouse. Um, oh, this is not about your sexuality little mouse. This is about a human man.

Oh, I talk not of gender or sex. I talk about, um, sex, I talk of species. And you love a human? Yeah, I love a human, but the human would have to give me cheese. Well, I have plenty of cheese back home, and I'll have more cheese if I can ever cash this check. Because little meows, I would like to make love to you. I don't think we can do it.

We can, okay here we can okay We just but I'm gonna add them for whatever I'm definitely BTF But I wanted to talk to you about your check problem. Oh Yeah, sure the my society is a rich society a society that has its foundation in science And there's been many a times when we've had been tissue-heat checks with poo and bum sweats meet on it and of course the people at the bank they weren't accepted if it's got poo and bum sweat on it but when I asked is this a normal human bank or is this like a little

mouth mouth? This was a mouth bank here this was a tiny little mouth bank but what I found is that I ask you about the little mouse bank and then you can get back to your answer. Is it in a shoe box with a little hole for a door? Well, yeah, the some buildings are in a shoe box. This the bank in particular is in an old tomato can. And it's sort of been hung there. and goes into the ground and underneath in the ground that's where that's kind of like the four knocks but we call it four cheese. That's so cool so it's just the top of the can and then a little door and then you've got the money down the bottom. Yeah and then like the

towers and the waving areas and stuff they're all in the can up the top. That's too small or is it like a big Italian? It's quite a big can. It's like one of those surplus like hal tomato cans. Yeah, hal sale of tomato cans. Yeah. That's very cool. Anyway, sorry, go on. I was just saying that with the years and years of study and science, we have quite a scientific community here in the Mascondom. We've developed the way to get poo off a thin tissue piece of paper. What's that got to do with anything?

I can help you get the poo off your check and then you can deposit it into the bank. Can I leave a check? Yeah, here you go. I it out of the check. Yeah, here you go. I completely forgot about the check. You forgot. We've been talking about it this whole time, haven't we? I'm talking to the Pope. Yeah.

I'm meeting a talking mouse. I think you can excuse me for getting around the check. I've had a lot happen today. Yeah, right. You're in the middle of an eagle rock. Yeah. Here's the check. This is a piece of toilet paper.

Are you serious? This isn't a check. Oh my God. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you serious trying to catch this? Yeah, I tried to catch it at a West pack. No, you're fine. I wouldn't have done it.

You're fucking your cooked can. This is a piece oil of paper. I took out a short-term loan to pay for this illegal trip to the Vatican during COVID times. All right. It's cost me a lot of money and I did it on the assumption that I would be five million the richer by EOD. So what are we going to do about that, Mouse? I don't know, but this isn't my problem anymore. I'm going to leave you with a Pope. I thought you had a legitimate check. We can get Poo off checks and we could get this Poo off the toilet paper, but it's not going to do anything for you. Can we just try? Can we just try? I mean guy I'm gonna go to a nightclub which is in an old box for a

sound bar that's cool I guess yeah um before I go and before we kind of wrap this all up I I have a few hours to kill but I'm out of my hotel but I've got a few hours to kill. I'm out of my hotel, but I've got a few hours to kill before I fly back to Australia. Is there any movies that play like English language movies or at the very least with Subtile, like any cinemas that play English language movies in Rome? I've got three hours to kill, and I wouldn't mind just watching a movie.

Who are you asking? The mouse in the Pope. Oh, are you God? The no, the mouse is gone. Who are you? I'm just the people from before. You know, the ones that were chanting. I can be God if you want.

No, no, no, I've already got a God character. This is better for the... The character. The multiverse, the kind of... The Pope will know. Well, he said I can't ask him. Can you ask him? I only got three questions.

Oh, my Pope. Yeah. Well, you distracted. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right. Do you know what any... I was just trying to cover up some shit. What do you mean?

That's my job. Oh, that's his job. Do you know what any cinemas in Rome that play English language films? Fuck. Or English subtitles is fine. Or English subtitles is fine. Who we asked you for, sorry? Zach, the one who had the...

Yeah, the... Is the one who brought you a toilet piece of toilet paper? Yeah, yeah. Rickens to check. Yeah. I really prefer not to engage with that kind of game. If we can. Can we get him off the site?

Yes, we can. The only reason I'm doing it is to engage with that kind of game if we can. Can we get him off the site? Yes, we can. The only reason I'm doing it is because we have to be good to all mad and car. Just tell him, oh yeah, it's one of the airport. Yeah, yeah. Just fucking send him off. I can hear you, can't. I can hear you. No, you can't.

No, I find, fuck you guys. No, fuck you guys. I saw it answers with you. I saw it answers through the spiritual realm and you have let me down. And I bet you don't need this. All the best of your tissue paper fucking checkmate. All the best. All right. I'm off. I'm off.

As Sharks Tank. That was Sharks Tank. What a crazy episode. We had this week of shark's tank. We went to the post. We saw a little mouse. All right, bye. No sharks. No sharks. No sharks. That's true. That's true that there were no sharks. Do you know why it's called sharks tank? Why is it called sharks tanks? Because they never stop moving. Sharks or tanks? Excuse me?

Sharks or tanks? What never stops moving? Tanks never move. What never stops moving. I thought it was because the British show is called Dragon's Den, which makes sense because it's about a dragon protecting their pile of gold and you go into the den to get some of their gold. And then Dragon's Den isn't as pervasive of a concept in the US, so they changed it to Shark Tank, which is pretty good, like for like, but we go into a Shark Tank, the Shark offers you nothing. The Shark gives you nothing,

so it doesn't quite work as well. Yeah, what are they protecting? I feel like I have something to do with Chum, like maybe the contestants are the Chum, and the... Maybe you're coming in for the Chum. Can I have some of your charm? No, but then because then wouldn't the, the, the, the sharks, aren't they? The hosts of the shark. Now you're coming, you're a diver, have you a diver in and you're like, I'm telling you why. Why? Sharks never stop moving.

But they're seated the whole show. They're, they're not moving at all. But they're by moving. Unless someone's doing like a juicer and they like, They needed the whole show. They're not moving much at all. But they're by moving. Unless someone's doing like a juicer, and they like, do you want to try the juice and then they get up and they have a bit of juice. Can I ask you that question?

I guess, I don't know why it's cool. I don't know. I don't know. Can I ask you guys a question? Yeah. Can I ask you a question? So Shark Tank is the Australian version of, around for three years on Channel 10, the

Australian version of this franchise, right? Do any of you remember when Channel 7 did a version of Dragons then hosted by Andrew O'Keefe and one of the dragons was the then not, but now former Mayor of Jolong, the crazy paparazzi man with a very colorful hair. Does anyone remember this? I remember the colorful hair man. I didn't know he used to be the mayor of Jolong. He was the mayor of Jolong after that show

and he would be like, I'm a paparazzi. That's so. Yeah, I remember that big time. He always had colorful, like, like, remind me of a tropical fish, which I thought was always fun. I was very silly because I don't think, so people would come in and they'd be like,

oh, here's my idea for a can opener. And he'd be like, oh, I'm a paparazzi, I can't help you. Mark Plague or rock? Thanks so much everybody! This has been our improvisational, you know, Rolic based on the reality television show Dragonstone. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week for another improvisational sketch.

And if you think you've got an idea how you would get rid of the poo from the Tissuey paper, make some art hashtag Tissuey Paper. Let's send hashtag Tissuey Paper viral with your solutions. Maybe we should ring Dr. Carl. Maybe we should ring the real Dr. Carl. I don't have any of them. I wouldn't feel comfortable. I'll on Triple J when he's on Triple J. I wouldn't feel he's a nice guy. I wouldn't feel comfortable pranking him. It'd be like a prank phone call. I wouldn't feel comfortable.

All right. It's a hard no for him. Yeah. You guys can do it. I'll take the day. You guys, but I wouldn't feel good. Alright, I was just a suggestion. Welcome to Dragon's Den.

No, alright, we'll cancel it and stop. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna Podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week!