Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 286 - Mrs. Claus

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

yeeee another fun holiday season podcast where Zach plays Mrs. Claus! auntydonna.com/shows auntydonnaclub.com haventyoudonewell.comJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get a legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Anti-Donna podcast. On this week's episode we're lucky enough to be joined by Zach playing a brand new character Mrs. Claus. Thanks for listening to the Anti-Donna podcast this year and have a happy holiday season. Remember, you can head to anti-Donnaclub.com for podcast videos and access to the club exclusive footcast. Okay, well everyone, hi my name is Broden Kelly, I'm a performer performer, comedic performer with Auntie Donna, this is the Auntie Donna podcast. And hi! No, you're not, you're a character.

Um, we, this week, are doing a second Christmas episode. We had our classic Christmas 3 AWU parody, we like to call it into, you know, last week, but this week, oh my gosh, some bad news, Mark passed away and died of a plane crash. He died of plane crash. And Zach died doing what he loved. Mark. He was fucking Mark. But that killed him.

He did die of the plane crash. He died before. He died before. Well,'t die on the plane. He did, he died before. He died before. Well, it was on the plane. I heard it was on the plane. They were joining the Mile High Club, Zach died. No, the pilots. And they were the pilots of the plane, yeah.

Can you fix your reindeer ears? Yeah, I can. Because it's Christmas time, and I love Christmas. That's what they call me Jack Frost and I play for calling with now I I'm sorry to bring you the Christmas news that Mark and Zach are dead But I'm lucky enough to have I'm lucky enough to have two Guess who have put their hand up to come in on this very very very special Christmas time

And they're going to carry on the Christmas spirit with me. The Broden and these guys show it's gonna be this week and then they'll be alive again. But my first guest is a very special guest and it worked out perfectly that she's come in this time of year. You know her is the spouse of Santa Claus. She lives in the North Pole. Yeah. And she says, yeah, a lot. She's very, she's just a lot of affirmations.

Yeah, I can't. And she swears more than I expected. But we had a little coffee before we did the podcast. Yeah, she's vicious. She's vicious. Yeah. She's vicious. Please welcome Mrs. Claus. Yeah, so well, you know, and I said, I don't want you to take my name, you know, it desecrates the memory of my first wife. Yeah. And I said, no, fuck yeah. No pre-knife, I'm taking your name.

So you're the second wife of Santa Claus. Yeah. So when did you meet Santa Claus? I was a billion years old. I met him at a rich people event. A rich people event. Yeah. What do you mean by rich people?

That's all the Santa was there. Yeah, that's what you met Santa. Sounds like Santa's house. Yeah, why is he Santa wealthy? He's Santa wealthy. How do you reckon he afford making all those counterfeit toys? He owns so many factories in Bangladesh. Okay.

Well, thank you so much for joining me this week. But he has schools in every factory. Does that make sense? So it's responsible capitalism. So he teaches the children that are working at the factories. Right, thank you Mrs. Ford. Yeah. Why have you come on a comedy podcast in Melbourne that fucking the elves? Hang on, hang on. I can't tell, see any of them. But are you on this podcast because you're fucking the else? Oh, that was a side. I'm doing what we like to call a, I don't know the name of it,

but the publicist is getting me out there to help with the clause and the PR sort of, you know, there's been a lot of ebb and flow and I'm out here, I'm modernizing the clause institution. Great, well thank you so much for coming. A perfect timing as well. And our second guest, now you know who he is, but I don't. And I didn't tell Mark who he's playing either. Because it was a blurry idea.

I didn't know who this character was and it's evolving. Yeah, you were saying, can't less and less Mrs. Clause. No, and I didn't like, I think she was a little rough and a little I think I was a little um I didn't love what where that was going Tom of all of them. Yeah, to what This is settling in Arbor the cunt remains This this guest is set of causes older son Seth green is Cetaclose's oldest son, Seth Green. May as a Seth Green the actor or is it?

You know when Seth Green played Dr. Evil's son? Yeah. Is that? I'm just, I'm saying, as old as son. Yeah. And since it's like a young Seth Green. Is that the idea you had before the podcast? Yeah, it must have been...

But I've got a bad attitude. My mum, step mum, step mum, keeps fucking all the elves. And they're having these sex parties in the workshop. Right, there's sucking going on. There's fucking going on. I was moving away from that part of the game. No, but it still remains. The DNA of it still remains.

We don't have to focus on it. Yeah. But it still remains. I need to be clear of me and Santa a poly. Mmm. Now how does that work? Going to that a bit more. Well, Santa.

Santa was the one that first raised the idea. I didn't like it. He sat me down and he said, Mrs. Claus, I have been struggling a little bit with, you know, we hadn't been having sex a lot and he raised the idea of perhaps opening up the relationship. And we went to a house out of temple stone. And how do I do a house out of temple stone? We just had an out of suburb of Victoria. Yeah, and it was a big house and it was, it was a lot of other like-minded people, couples

and a few single women who we like to call unicorns. And we just, it was really fun. We just had a big fuck fest. Yeah, the sun went as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't do anything. But we all, yeah. We, we, I mean, I don't care.

I'm happy to talk about it. Yeah. Gross. Step, step, step, step, son. Step, mum. Nothing here. I've only been, so me and Santa Claus, we've been, he's been, he has been F***ing a lot of people.

Yeah. Can I ask a question? Yeah. So Santa? So Santa? I was the one that pitched for a fourth podcast, but I said, I'm ready to go. And I lost interest. Come on. When you got like 24 more minutes in this trip. I can't trust me to keep this going.

Keep going. A lot of people believe that Santa only exists because the magic of children believing in him. Mmm. Now, does that apply to you both? Uh, no, I'm as real as real can be. Yeah, well, I'm just a man. I don't have any powers or... But your father is a man.

Dad Santa Claus. It's the same joke as Dr. Evil, Scott Evil. It's the same, so I'm just like, I'm just like, I don't like, yeah, and I listen to punk rock. Do you know that? You've seen, you've seen us, I've asked me, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's the joke. It's the same joke. Dad doesn't respect me, because I'm not Santa. I've not seen us saying I'm not giving enough. That's very giving. You haven't seen Austin Bale with Zack as I haven't. Right. Do you want me to talk a little bit more about mine and Santa's relationship? No, I'm not really. I don't want to close that door, but I was sick and by it. Yeah, because I could tell you everyone Santa has fucked since we've opened up. No, gone.

So, was this second... I was sick. How many people were we talking? Uh, dozens. Can we cut from the canon that we fucked? No, that's not what I was thinking. I'm not going up with the music. We're finding the characters that we've been discovering

as it goes. These are the best characters ever. Maybe... I love this. Maybe. The Mrs. Cores, the second wife of Santa Cause. And we're finding the character. And Seth Green doing the joke from Austin Powers

about being the first to be Scottie. Scottie evil. Scottie evil. But you're Scottie, you're, what are you? I'm Seth Green doing the joke. It's the same joke. It's the same joke. What are you?

That is what I am. He's the same, it's the same joke. It's the same joke. What are you? That is what I am. He's the same, it's the same joke. He's Seth Green. I'm Seth Green. But young Seth Green. I can't remember, I barely remember what he was doing in that preference. He's colored his hair. Yeah, so he's the punk rock thing. I think that's the thing. I can get the gun and I can shoot him. I just, oh, kill him. Yeah, just let me kill him. Yeah, just don't get it. Scott. Thank you, Mrs. Claus. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now please tell me what people Well, this is my dad I don't mind thinking about my dad. So we're very they're very That's a aggressive family. That's all right thinking about it. I mean the guy doesn't work. He only works one day a year

Bullshit Cameron Diaz No, but close That's all right thinking about it. I mean the guy doesn't work. He only works one day a year bullshit Cameron D. As No, but close Gwyneth Paltrow and no he Farah Fawcett How is that close just like a famous actress Cameron D. As played I think the comparable angel. Mm-hmm. Ah Yeah, right in Charlie's not familiar with the Charlie's angel's canon. It's a comedy, it's a very far from it. Do you do any of the Christmas stuff? I've been helping him clean up the business.

So there was a guy in accounts before me, right? So I married him. I married him in 84. Okay, this is, right? So Mrs. Claus died. How long have you been married then? I couldn't say. 30.

Something. 37 years. Yeah. This is a big shifting character. Yeah. It's come a long way. Yeah, because I'm the star. I'm the star.

All you would say was cunt. Yeah, I'm a real derelict sort of quality. I think all the joy to be born in The point in the character though, yeah. Yeah, yeah, there is. It's just there's none of what you've begun with. I think there's an openness of sexuality, but we have moved judgment away from that. So it's now someone who is in a loving,

respecting, poly relationship with Santa. My character is very much just turned into Mark commenting Kind of what's going on here Yeah, yeah, one wasn't told what I was gonna be doing before the narrative of this podcast has become yeah Zack's like let's fucking do for I'm flying. Yeah, I've got this character and now it's now it's just like what is what is this? What's happening? That is what this I said so many times I said I don't have the character I just think it could work and I said I said I I was feeling a little silly after and I said it could go one of two ways

And it's gone the bad way and now we've just got to sit through it. Yeah, but hey, this is makes sense I'm clear, but I have more questions for you, Mrs. Claus. Please, we're finding the character. We're at the end of this podcast, we will have a fully formed character that can come back maybe in later podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up to you guys.

Yeah. What, what? What? Does the Claus family? Yeah. Do you have Christmas lunch or YouTube? No, we're busy. We're busy that time of year.

So, what, that's ludicrous. I'm just trying to help build the character. So, what is so full lunch on Christmas? Do you, I'm not, I'm set's gone by the way. Okay, you're mad. Do you? The mirror is a Christmas. It's an evolution of the character.

I'm settling the character down right into my belly. I'm making it more naturalistic. Obviously you have to eat on Christmas day I know you're busy. What do you have in there a sandwich? Stopping in 7 11 Right so my busiest time of year finally enough is sort of the November period and then I is a bit busy, but my busiest time of year is January onwards Yeah, right because I'm I'm like looking through the book so I'm making sure everything. What financially is happening through the North Pole? So I'm married, I did a business

degree and I was studying law when I met Santa. This business was boring as fuck. No, it literally is. The boring as fuck. I'm just saying at least the derelict can't sex fiend. Yeah, it's just had like a little bit of a gas. I can still swear. Yeah, you are still that can't. This is just a character who says can't sometimes and says and in loves to fuck yeah. I am, here's how we can think of it. This is a book key for Daniel Craig.

I am the Daniel Craig. I am the Daniel Craig You said we could call you're just right at some point we could call this all I'm saying is if you come to the start with Bookkeeping Mrs. Claus Yeah, I do all I'm saying is right what you want you're looking at me and you're going oh It's like someone watching Daniel Craig's bond. Yeah, I'm saying oh, I want it to be back to the Dalton years You're looking for Dalton You're looking for Timothy Dalton and I've evolved. I'm a new bond. Yeah, you do understand all right The women are still half my age, but I say that I love them

Do I see I see I'm the Daniel and the misogyny is still there, but it's not as... It's a little more, you know. No more. So, I married him and I said to him, it was me that said to him, hey, how much profit are you making? And he said, what, you just said it works to profit?

Oh yeah. It's not for profit. He changed to four profit in 56. How much is he making? And how? What do you mean? Where does the money... There's a lot of questions happening. Yeah, if you don't find this interesting, I can stop.

But you're asking, we have asked... I have asked the finance. I got it. I cash this cash this, no. We can't not... How does he make money? How does he make money? How does he make money? Why does he make money?

So sponsorship is the number one thing. Right. Um, sponsorship also government supports. So if you want Santa Claus to deliver in your country, you have to pay like a tax. Essentially like a fee, you know. So he only comes to the countries that are paying. And it's a scale.

It's scalable. It's based on population GDP. I think this is interesting. Sure, so What about and how much does it cost to make toys and I have another question about that. So how much does it cost to make toys and why is The richer kids get more stuff than poor kids because they're paying more money So that's it that's it on that's what that's probably the third income so families are paying as well is do richer kids get more stuff than poor kids? No, because they're paying more money. So that's probably the third income.

So families are paying as well? So there's a membership fee. There's a membership fee. So you've got the state, and that sets a base level, okay? So originally it was much more equitable. So it was more like an opt-in like education system where? So in 56 it was just the state thing, and then in 82 I believe they introduce

sort of the Reagan years They introduced a two a two tier Christmas system and rich people a compare membership fee. It's very reasonable. It's $87 now I think it adjusts for a bit like a Chris go hamper. Yeah, basically they just pay a membership fee And that's how they get the better question. Yeah, absolutely. Are you going to be switching does it? You know the rat bags get a little thing, a coal, a little bucket of coal, whatever it is? Gonna switch us up more sustainable.

Oh wow, okay, look, that's really not my department. I just, that's fun and everything. Well then just what's your opinion on that? Look, to be honest with you, I'm just looking at the numbers and coal is a lot cheaper and it's getting cheaper the less popular it is. Then what, dirt?

You could give them dirt, you could give them horse shit. That's getting cheaper the less popularity is. Then what dirt? You could give them dirt, you could give them horse shit. That's free. Where am I going to bring the dirt from? Do you understand this? So if he's bringing dirt from the North Pole into Australia, there could be worms, microbiome. Then a piece, then a poo. This is the same thing.

There could be worms, bi, there could be animal, like any sort of living things. That's a huge issue. The only way we did look into this, you'd have to be collecting dirt at each country, he would have to go via the dirt station. You're gonna have to staff that with elves. That's gonna be very expensive. It's gonna cost you, I think, six times more than coal.

So why don't you just go? Mrs. Claus, we just can't take an outbreak, but we were right back. Now we're back. Now we're back. Hi. Now I want to go back to you fucking elves. Oh, absolutely, yeah. So why, what's that about?

It's part of the poly relationship. He's aware of it. Sometimes he watches. Sometimes said to Clause. You Cuck watches. As I fuck elves. So the elves are cucking Santa. So yeah, to be clear, I'm Mrs. Claus and sometimes I'll sort of be out drinking with the elves.

They have sort of different like bars and whatnot in their communities. So we set them up for that, you know. We pay them a wage. It's a very good wage and we also set them up with housing. Or wage. What wage? Yeah. You've got to understand it's a different economy in the North Pole.

Yeah. So we're paying them $3 an hour, right? And they're on hourly, they're not on salary. Well, yeah, they're on hourly. But they're a casual, they're technically a casual work. Right. So not a lot of like, a slave or... Well, that's a casual work for.

So they can take the time off if they need to, but they're not getting paid in that situation. Yeah, right. It's... Well, that's a casual work force. They can take the time off if they need to, but they're not getting paid in that situation. Yeah, right. It's an app, it's all on an app. And basically, what happens is that comes... What an app. Yeah, we got an app, we move to that. So they come and for $2 a day, we give them food, board,

there's different communities, there's bars. So what I'll do, sorry, to your question is I'll go to the bars. I'll pick up three or four elves. I'll bring them back to the mansion, the Santa Claus castle made of candycapes and gingerbread. Gingerbread? I'll bring them back to the master bedroom. It's huge. It's a massive and they've never seen it. That being we talking here.

So it is four by four by eight, or? I know it in square meters, it's the room itself is 150 square meters. Wow. And I remember I came in and I said, it's get drafty? Yeah, it can get a little drafty. What's the, how big's the bed here?

Do you have just like a giant sort of, or is it just a king? No, I don't know what it's called, we got it from America, I think it's a super king. Right, so it says, it says, why does a king and it's longer? Yeah, all right. So anyway, I'll bring the elves up

and Sans is already there, they know, I'll talk to them, our EA will get them to sign a non-disclosure agreement just to make sure it's all covered. So they'll just sign a non-disclosure agreement, just to make sure. It's all covered. So I'll just sign a non-disclosure agreement. Yep, they'll come up. It's all very above board, they understand. And since it will be in the quarter,

since it's a clause, I've been 50 meters away. No, no, it's 150 square meters. And how does that work? It's like 15 by 10. Yeah. 15, what by 10? 15 meters by 10 meters or something like that. It's big, it's big, but it's not.

How big is that, like, give me a comparison size. It's as big as probably, I don't know where you live, but it's probably bigger than your apartment. Yeah, probably. It's like, it's probably about twice the size of your apartment. Maybe, maybe a little less. So the whole house isn't this room, is it? No, no, this is the master bedroom.

Right, the cunt is rich. I'd never see the places bigger my life yeah right it's all made of gingerbread and candy canes they have to replace all of the materials every two years there's there's always work going on in the house do you understand but takes two years and they're always replacing it so I bring up the elves do you want to hear this yeah so I'm I've got mountains of questions so I bring up the elves, do you want to hear this? Yeah. So I, Mrs. Claw. I've got mountains of questions. So I bring up the elves, they've signed up with the most famous. I know it's all the way very, very nice.

Yeah, go on. They come in, Santa Claus, my husband said the Claus, is already in the corner of that room. He's stroking at this. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yeah. He's stroking his dick. He's stroking his dick. Keeps me going. It's not long, but it's sick. We'll just see where the night takes.

Yeah, right. The only thing is they're not, and they know all of this, they're not allowed to make eye contact with him. They have to act like he's not there. But otherwise, we just have fun. What's the turnover of valves? Like, fresh valves. Where else are they going to go? Like, that's a real here.

Where else are they going to go? No, I don't mean like, I'm talking about in terms of the sex parties. Oh, right. Do you have a couple of, we've got a selection of valves that come back in or is it different alves every time? We've got a couple of favorites, but it's,

what are their names? Uh-huh. What are their names? Jiminy Joe? Yeah. Yeah. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Jiminy Joe. Jiminy Joe. that's one of the favorites. What does Jiminy Joe do to you personally? That makes me go. That makes me go. They growl in you out. What would they do? Please. Oh, please. I mean this more you could have two or three of them growling you out at once. I imagine please. What's this? Please. What?

This fell. You big fell. I am, I'm evolving with the podcast. You went there with San is choddy dick that he's stroking as you went to the room. Yeah. I'm just talking about how many little elves he can fit. Can you fit? Yes or no.

Do you have more than one LFET one time growl you out? Yes. Great. I mean, I've done many things. It's been, we've been doing this for nearly 30 years. Is there any pegging going on with Santa Claus? Are you pegging any of the elves? Any of the elves pegging each other if they want? Yeah, that has happened. Yeah. I mean, this is, I think you think this is a much more formal thing than it is. It's a very expressive, we're a very loving, expressive community up in the North Pole.

Yeah, not with NDH agreements. That is really just the placement of the room. It's not about the sex per se. You've got to understand that Santa is a very well-known man. Probably very famous. You've got to understand that Santa is a very well-known man. Probably very famous. Who's less, who Jesus may be more famous? Yeah. Muhammad more famous. Yeah.

That's about it. Who else? Santa was going out for venture capital to move the staffing to an app. Yeah. Right. He upset a lot of people because a lot of the original shareholders... Why the shareship? He's not a disillusioned, he's not a magical man who gives gifts to people. Yeah, but he turned it into a business obviously. He had to along the road. Why? In 56, they were gonna go bankrupt.

Who were? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He gives me magic. Yeah, magic doesn't do everything. I mean, you know, and they were gonna go bankrupt and they just said, well, we gotta fix this and they got him more in Buffett. They invested, he was one of the early investors.

Can I ask why you, at what point you started your only fans? No, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Oh, okay. I do not have an only food. Are you sure? Yeah, I do not have an only fans. I think this is outrageous and offensive. Oh, I mean, maybe I'm crazy.

I think you're thinking of Balathon. I am thinking of Balathon. I miss this claw. I think you're thinking of Bella Thorne. I am thinking of Bella Thorne. I miss his claw. Sorry. What do you look like? Are you like, are you the white head, you know, you know, old woman? Yes, the old one was a skeletal cruel looking woman.

Think Glenn Close. Yeah, she'd be great for that role. But that was the first one. I'm the famous Mrs. Claus. What do you look like? Like you imagine. Who would you cast? Um, Margot Martin Dale, perhaps.

Or a... A Miriam Margles. Miriam Margles. You British? Uh, it's vague. Think like a sort of a well-spoken American is kind of the vibe I would say. Oh yeah, right.

So anyway, the elves, a girl and me. Oh, that's I can't say that. Why? Oh, it feels gross. That's true. It's not crook. It feels crook. It feels a little exploitative

what I'm doing with the elves. But there's no one else. They're not real. We take our break. You take your break in December. We take our break. More March, April. And we, as a heats up.

We go to America often. We have a place in L.A. I'll tell you the fucking. No, please, no more. You don't hear about the fucking guy. No, no, no. There's not much time left. I wanted to ask you, if you would be open to getting,

you're, we have a Christmas wish list. Yeah, big time. And could you have a word with the bloke in the corner of the room? You're talking to the one that really makes the decisions. Right. Well, yeah, we've got a few things on our wish list. Shoot. Mine was a bike. Yeah, we've got a few things on our wish list

And mine was a bike I'd love a mongoose Mx so the gentleman I came here with oh god the six foot to a Beautiful man with the clipboard. Mm-hmm. He is my assistant. Okay, and you're fucking him. Oh, of course. Well, I mean, he's muscled up. He looks like he's beautiful. I add someone else, and then I found out that Santa was fucking his EA, and I was like, well, if you get to fuck your EA, I'm gonna get some.

EA. As in the video game sports. Yeah, right. So I hired this guy, and I tell you what, he does things to be that you could not imagine. Anyway, so a scooter I'm gonna take all of this in but do you have this written down somewhere? Are you able to at the end of this podcast talk to Sven and He can organize. Yeah, yeah, I Want to buy sense of sholes. Yes

I'd love you. I just like a scooter. No, no, no a bike like a bm I buy and you want to pet with pegs and a gyro Okay, pegs and a gyro pegs and a gyro, please I would like a wooden rocking horse. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah anything else. I can do it. I can organize anything. Yeah, yeah anything anything I'd love an Nintendo 64 Yeah, yeah, I can do that for you. Yeah, great anything anything at all I'd love a jigsaw puzzle. Yeah, that's easy yeah, I can do that for you. Yeah, great. Anything at all. I'd love a jigsaw puzzle. Yeah, that's easy.

Mark, I can do anything for you. Do you understand this? Anything. Could I also get a copy of Mace, the two-player fighting game? Yeah, absolutely. I can do that for you, bro. I can do, I got three world leaders on my speed up.

Wow, fuck. Anything, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, fuck. I can kill anyone. Yeah, yeah. I'd love a trampoline. Yeah, no worries, too easy. Too easy.

Fuck, what do you want? Let me be clear. Anything, anything. I have some of the most important people in the world in my pocket. Do you understand this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything. I'd love a Bruce Wayne to Batman action figure.

That can be a race. Sprite. I just want to be clear here, man. I can give you whatever you want. With exceptions, you know? With exceptions, we might have to wait for certain people to be in different countries. But I can make some big fun.

You can make some big calls. I'm talking in juristics and that sort of thing. I'm starting to kind of like cotton on to what Mrs. Claus is talking about. You know what I'm saying? Do you understand how connected I am? Yeah, yeah. All right.

I'll have Pokemon Gold on Game Boy. Too easy. Yeah! So, all right, that's interesting that you're up because I think I'm just starting to kind of click in the what you're saying. You're saying anything. And neat things.

Obviously there are exceptions. You've got world leaders in your pocket. That you've been saying. Do you know what I mean when I say that? I think so. I'm talking. I'm you know what I mean when I say I think I'm I'm talking I'm talking I can call I can pressure certain politicians I have I can literally just give money to certain meers. Hmm. Do you understand? Yeah, I do I do I can do anything I'd love a copy of bolder dash the board game easy. I can do that for you

Hmm anything anything at all. Oh I have a copy of Boulder Dash, the board game. Easy, I can do that for you. Okay. Anything. Anything at all. Oh, anything, anything, anything at all. A knitted scarf? Absolutely, too easy. Get one of the elves to knit that up, pop it in a box, I'll say it at overtime. Okay, what are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Yeah, you figured it out. You don't understand, we can get anything at all. We can get anything. Anything. We want anything. Guess how much I'm worth? Gotta be over a billion.

Priceless. Priceless. Billions. But just on a profit alone, do you know how much we made last year? Like 50 million. Change that M to a B. Change that 50 to an 8. 8 billion dollars profit?

So 50 billions. It's a lot. 8's like still a lot. What's your talking profit here. And I can get anything I want. How much, and I, this is what I'm trying to find to you, right? I, I'm Mr. or five and got it yet. I own 30% of the whole operation. Holy shit.

Santa, he owns 35. Together, that's 65. And the rest are in best. Yes, it is., it is used to be guess what number it used to be Seven I don't know what number I was a little bit more than 65 you know on 67 no a little bit more 68 a little bit more 69 Yes Nice, I'm gonna make it I want anything you want man. Can I have a Lord of the Rings chess set? Absolutely

What are you? Well, what's the what's the cons of what are they what's the come on? So here's the thing right There's sort of laws and jurisdictions. We could get those things done for you in a place like America in a place like England It's a little bit easier to convince someone to get on a plane go to some you know Maybe go to Eastern Europe. Yeah, but if we get that person are there Accident an accident could happen. Yeah, they could just go away Okay, you know, but this is like a thing Yeah, you know, now is cut but if you want I am. You are now is cutting it up. But if you want something, now is cutting it up. If you want something, I can call anyone.

I know that CFO of Gucci. All right, so close as well. Anything. All right, great. A chuchu train? What kind of chuchu train? Like a big one? No, like a little rail.

Oh, it's easy. We got them in stock. That's all I need for my Christmas. What do you want? I can be anything I want. Anything the world does anything you desire. Yeah, we've been able to finish for hours. Anything you desire.

Anything I desire. Oh, Mrs. Claus, I can organize anything for you. I'd love some hot wheels. Yeah, it's so easy. We're done. Mrs. Claus, thank you. You want to just say something big maybe? I think that could be a good bite of comfort.

What do you want? You want anything in the world? Can I buy, can we, can we, can we own Mount Everest? That's silly. That's the, I thought that was a good bite of food. Yeah, so you say a big thing and I say that's silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're already with two small pieces. You're right, it came together beautifully.

Yeah, no, it worked really good. Hey, it took me a minute to find the character. But boys, I think I've been under... I think you got it. I'm so glad mine evolved into what it was. Just Mark? Yeah, just Mark commenting on the on the on what was going on. And from all of us at Aunty Donna, a Merry Christmas to you, or happy holidays to whatever you celebrate. And if you do celebrate this time of year, and have an extra eggnog from us. Have an extra eggnog from us.

What's that cake that people have? I don't know. That there's like a sweet treat that people have during Christmas. Like a... Oh God, what's that? We stay savory. Yeah, have it with like cream and stuff. Cream and stuff.

Ah! I know what you're talking about. Because you sketch. What? Oh, you're still in character. Yeah. Anyway, I have one of those kid and elf to growl you out. Can I just say, I've had so much, get an else to grow you out.

Can I just say, I've had so much fun on this podcast. Great. And if you ever want me to come back and talk about, talk about the hostile takeover attempt of 93, we'll see. When G.E. tried to take on the whole operation, I could tell you about all that. Yeah, great.

I was wrapping up the podcast like beautifully for the year. I'm just saying for next year year I could come back next year. Yeah great. I heard it. Have a merry break. Yeah good. That's good.

Merry break. A merry break. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. And for least Navidad come on let's sing it. Let's sing out the year. Okay. You ready?

Would you mind joining us Mrs. Close for a song? No, that sounds fun. Lisa Navidad. Lisa Navidad. I'm trying to show. Lisa Navidad. I know you're for Lisa Navidad. What is Lisa Navidad?

Lisa Navidad. What is Lisa Navidad? Lisa Navidad. What is Lisa Navidad? Lisa Navidad. What is Lisa Navidad? Lisa Navidad. Lisa Navidad.

Is that Merry Christmas? Yes. Lisa Navidad. What language? Lisa Navidad Feliz Navidad Is that Merry Christmas in it? Yeah, Feliz Navidad What language is this? You don't know? Feliz Navidad Prospero I want a Feliz Dad

I've not heard this song before I want to wish you a Merry Christmas Oh, it's not all it's in this song I want to wish you a Merry Christmas You not heard this song? I want to wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart I wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart I wish you a Merry Christmas

It's hard to learn I wish you a Merry Christmas I wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart Straight to the top Feliz Navidad Which is obviously Merry Christmas in Feliz Navidad Spanish Aladdin Right Feliz Navidad, which is obviously Merry Christmas in... Feliz Navidad. Spanish or Latin? Right.

Feliz Navidad, Prospero, Anno, Ilefli-Cidad. Isn't it similar to how it's said in Italian? Feliz Navidad. I actually don't know how it's said in Italian. Feliz Navidad, and a great Christmas. Feliz Navidad, Prospero, Anno, and Feliz Cidad. I know in English. Wish you a Merry Christmas.

Oh, so that's what they say. No one. This is the Christmas. Merry Christmas. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my house. That makes sense. But it's one Natale in a time. Wish you a Merry Christmas.

Thank you for being here. So they do it in Spanish and they do it in a Merry Christmas. That took me a little while to figure it out. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my house. So they do it in Spanish and they do it in a little bit. That's looking a little while to figure out. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. So there's no chorus or verse for at least Navidad. For at least Navidad. For at least Navidad.

For at least Navidad. For at least Navidad. For at least Navidad. For at least Navidad. For at least Navidad. For at least sketch. I wanna at least Navidad pitch it to you after the episode. Pitch it in the little breaks. Yeah. At least Navidad, Prospero, I wanna know your feelings, Cedar.

So it's someone in church singing here. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas. And I realize the song's so long. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas. Everyone's singing along. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart Go and they're trying to figure out how I want to wish you a Merry Christmas to cut off the song I want to miss you a Merry Christmas a

Vercely I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart You got to know when to communicate that to the congregation. Oh my God. You gotta know when the party's over. Can we communicate that to the conca, guys? No, we don't. That's pretty funny. I couldn't... We don't need that. It was very hard to concentrate on what the... We don't need that. Prospero, no way if we need C. And I just want to say,

from myself and from Santa Claus, that the both of you are welcome, are welcome to come to our fuck palace in the North Pole whenever you want that sounds wonderful Bell jingle bell jingle bell rock jingle bells like me Beagle Bell ring Dance look at the lyrics I really can't believe that's lyrics

Bell jingle bells and the sun Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Chon, Jingle Bell, Chon, Dancing and Prancing and Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus Hocus H I'm time to rock her and the black Someone has to stop this all You keep supplying the songs I was gonna end it with me inviting you to my fuck palace One horse, like Jingle bell, jingle, just stop it Oh you're back? I'm just giving my ears a break

You're just giving your ears a break That doesn't make sense Sandin, would you like to come and fuck me in front of Santa Claus? No, thank you. Mark, you're not my stepson anymore, you're just Mark, I'm Mrs. Claus. Would you like to come and fuck me while Santa Claus watches on? Thank you for the invite, but just the BMX for me. Tom! Tom, my...

Would you like to fuck me in watch? No, thank you, Mrs. Mose! That's okay. I guess I'll just... I guess I'll just mutually masturbate with Santa Claus instead. This is to go too far. Good night. Good night, Australia. Good night. Stop this podcast, wait.

Stop it. We can just stop. Just stop the podcast. You've been listening to the Antidona Podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week! you