Aunty Donna Podcast - Rudderless Episode

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Broden is gone, how will Mark and Zach handle the pressure? What will they talk about? Do they even need a rudder? Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A list-nuff production. Get A legends and welcome to a rudderless episode of the Anti-Donna Podcast. Broden is gone. How will Mark and Zach handle the pressure? What will they talk about? Do they even need a rudder? Let's find out. Remember, if you're loving the Anti-Donna Pod, you can get access to bonus episodes and

the video versions at anti-donnaclub.com. Enjoy the podcast. You listen to the only Donna podcast. The greatest fucking podcast in the world. Burn my contacts sometimes and guess we hope you enjoy the part of the fucking podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's a podcast. It's a podcast.

It's the anti-donna podcast. It's anti-donna podcast. A.D. anti-donna podcast. It's anti-donna podcast. A-D, anti-donna podcast. A-U-M-T-Y, D-O-N-N-A, P-O-D-C-A-S-T. I did not podcast. I like that old stuff better than you stuff. Fuck off, I'm not a good trader. Yeah, fuck off, I'll tell you what.

You can still watch your old stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go watch it. Go watch it on your phone. We're not taking your old stuff away from you. You're not the fuckers. But we will. We will if you keep up being a little bitcher. You're keeping dicks if you keep being fucking little dicks.

What are we meant to do? Make more of the old stuff, the old stuff's there. The old stuff is as common gone and it's there. It's done and you can still watch it. Take out old stuff. Stop being- Is the old stuff. Who gives a shit? It's for you. You watch it. Take out old stuff. Stop being- Is the old stuff. Who gives a shit?

It's for you. You take it. You listen to that. I don't like the new stuff either. But I don't complain about it. What am I meant to do? What do I do? I don't make the old stuff again. When I want to watch Auntie Donna, I go back

and I watch World Futsi's Championship. You want the old stuff, you got the old stuff. The- the- the new stuff is by its nature new. Brodon's not here. Brodon's not here. Brodon's not here, he's gone away. And we are doing new stuff. New stuff.

Time o'clock. Time o'clock. When was the last time it was time o'clock for you? Right now is the only time. I've never... There is no past, there is no future. There is only time o'clock. Time o'clock.

You're never on time. You're only ever early or late or you've got a really good excuse. So you're listening right now, you're going, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, Broden, no Broden, no guest, just Mark, Zach, filling in. Whop-sh, whop-sh, whop-sh, whop-sh, whop-sh, whop-sh, whop-sh, and we're doing sound effects. Today's podcast is about, what's really about everything? Absolutely.

We saw everything everywhere all at once, and we thought not enough. We thought not enough stuff. Not enough stuff. Why couldn't it be everywhere all at once, all of the time right now, before now, after now, time o'clock. So what we're gonna prove to you, right now, the listeners.

What I say to you as a listener, right now, as you listen, as I say to you, oh, there's no bread, are they gonna be able to handle it? Are they gonna be able to keep on track? Well, I'll tell you what's gonna happen. Yeah, tell us. You got Mark, you got Zach. And we're missing our serious man, who's serious,

and he keeps it on track. Shops. Shops. What? Feltus off screen. What? Feltus. What?

You've feltus off screen. He can't say. Just about to be fair. I deserve it. You can't say. Well, you can't say anything these days, and that's what we're here to be fair. I deserve it. You can't stay. Well, you can't say anything these days and that's what we're here to talk about. Oh yeah, we're here to talk about it and we're here to prove to you that we can do it.

Now, we usually for the last 200 and how many podcasts have there been? Eight, look it up, Google it. Google it. There's been more than that. I'll fill while you Google it. There's been more than eight less than eight. I'll fill while you find out how many there I'll fill it. I'll fill it.

I'll fill it. You'll find out how many there's been. But we can't do an exact number because this has been done in a bank. Now, what we've been doing for the last bunch of our podcasts, or... Of the anti-donap podcasts. Oh, okay. Is we have decided what at least a rough theme patchwork shape for the podcasts before we go into it.

But we thought, you know, fuck it. Fuck it. Today we are back to the OG cause Brody's not here to tell us what to do. Nope, nope. He's not here to tell us what to do. He's not here to be like, I'll be the serious one. Yeah, he couldn't do it even if he wanted to.

And that's why we're here. We're gonna tell you, well, here's the thing. I'm tired. I'm tired, man. I know, I'm 35, I'm, it's a struggle now. So I've been so many of these fucking- Keep it on track, keep it on track.

We could do it, but here's the thing. Oh, you think it's not listenable. You think it's not listenable without, you know, one of the key members of anti-donna all without a third guest that makes Zach and I responsible for our actions. How does it hold us accountable? Well, here's what I say to you.

I dare you not to listen. I dare you not to listen. I dare you to switch off right now. But then I double-dare you to keep listening. And I double-dare you to never stop listening. See, this is the thing about life. It's about choices. And I don't want to get too crazy here.

And I'm set. But I've made choices in my life. I's about choices. And I don't want to get too crazy here and upset, but I've made choices in my life, I regret, sure. But I've also made choices that have led me to this moment. I'm doing a podcast with my best friend, while my other best friend is in Copenhagen. And I'm doing a podcast here without a plan. Because you said it would be funny for us to do a podcast without a guest without a plan. And I can tell you, that's one of those decisions I'm regretting.

Because I feel like we're a minute in. And the joke that this will be on Listenable Direct. It is funny. It is funny. But it's also funny from the outside. Yeah, and now that I'm in it, I worry what about because a joke is not on me and you, because the joke is on the audience,

and they're sitting here on their bus. Yeah. And the bus is going, Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug, you know how bus goes, my Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and they're listening and they're sitting here on their bus. And the bus is going, Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug, you know how bus goes, my Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and Trug and they're listening and they're going, I get the joke.

I get the idea. The joke is that you've lost one of the members of your group for the day, that you're rudalist for the day, that you've decided to dive into that rudalist ocean for the day. And that's funny, but he is my problem. What? As a listener. I'm the listener.

I forgot to look up how many podcasts I was doing. I started playing Marvel Snap. Turn it off, put your phone down, do the podcast with me. Because I know that's funny. I know that's funny to you to be doing that. I'm close to beating Penalope, but you'll understand that when you're on your Marvel snap and Brodyn's in Copenhagen, then it's just me.

Yeah. And I'm on my own. Okay. So can you at least just put your fucking phone down for five fucking seconds? Yeah. Well, like put down your fucking phone. Just let me, I just snap.

Put down your phone. I just snap. I don't know what a Marvel snap is, put down your. So, if you don't put down your phone in the next 30 minutes, it's good. It's there. It's there. You gave me that time frame. You know what? I'm happy to lose that to put that out of me. So, you're on the bus. I'm on the bus. Chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka. Yeah, and it's steam powered. Right, it's chukka, chukka. Well, that's a trend. A trend is steam powered? No.

Chugajug. And you're sitting on the bus and you're thinking, well, I get the joke. It's a rudderless podcast. But a bus doesn't have a rudder. That's your next thought. No, that's not. The next thought is, this podcast is rudderless.

I get the joke, but Mark, why on the listener, he's the next realization. Yes. Who's the joke on? I'll tell listener, he's the next realization. Yes. Who's the joke on, I'll tell you, the joke is on me. Yes, and you. And I'm gonna turn off that podcast. And what's gonna happen? I'm gonna turn off that podcast.

Yes. And I'm gonna go to a problematic podcast. Yeah, like Kyle Sandy lands. Yeah, Kyle Sandy man. And I'm gonna go to the Muscley Bold man. Jacqueline Ovalteany. The Muscley Bold Man who is a stand-up and sometimes he stares up there with these muscles

and he goes, oh, what's with that? But sometimes he does podcast and sometimes they're all right. But he does drugs with the electrical man. And sometimes he talks to the electrical man does drugs with him. And I find that wrong and cool, but here's what's gonna happen, Mark. Yeah. They're gonna switch off our podcast, they're gonna go to the problematic podcast.

Why? Because, I'm scared now. Because where Rattles? Like a boat. And they're gonna switch it off, like a boat. And they're gonna- We're gonna- And they're gonna go to the problematic podcast.

Yeah. And they're gonna become problematic, but- Yeah. Yeah. And I know you're thinking right now, well, short, if the Titanic had more rudders, that would have been avoided. That would have been avoided. Titanic. That wasn't the issue with the Titanic. Okay. All right. So do we need to tell them that Broden's not here? Broden is not here. I think they've gathered that. Broden's not here. And we

haven't planned what this one's about. No, we said nothing. We said nothing before this. Our producer, James said, are you sure you want to do that? That sounds like a bad idea. I don't want you to do that. I don't think that'll be good. Why did we sign you? Please don't do that. I wouldn't make that choice. Are you sure that's the right choice you wanna make? Should we maybe just come up with something? Can't we come up with just something to start with? I don't know how I'm gonna promote this. I don't know why I do this job.

I have to get up for breakfast radio. I'm up early. I don't like to be contacted after three because that's when I nap. He said all of those things, none of which I listen to, all of which I ignored, because me, art is paramount. We said, can we fly without wings?

Can we fly without the wings? We said, can we snowboard without a board? We said, can we do a podcast without the more serious guy and without an idea? We said, can we free solo without a cable? We said can we fly without wings? We said can we get wings? Try to fly the wings have holes in them. Doesn't matter? No, because the original intention was to fly without wings. So those wings with I'm not done. Okay. So those wings wings. So those wings, I'm not done. So those wings with the holes in them are a kin to having no wings at all. And yet we saw it. Or will we? And that's up to you, dear listener. What's a bird without a wing? A rat. And what's a rat? Without, no. And what's a rat? Without... No. And what's a rat? With a cookbook.

And a passion to just do... To do what is in their soul. A ratatouille. A ratatouille. And what is a ratatouille? Uh... Without a vegetable. Kind of just a broth.

My breathing a bit too heavy here. No, I couldn't tell. In fact, I'm mad that you brought it up because I don't think anyone could hear it. Got a bit of a block. Nice. That's a big do you try to break through you know, try to break through you know, yeah, that's a block. I'm playing it up a little.

I have, I know we said we weren't going to bring anything to this podcast. No, we said we weren't going to plan anything. podcast. No, we said we weren't gonna plan anything. You can bring it all that you want. Well, I plan something. Like, are you planning something? I planned something. It's a plan that I've had for a number of years.

What was that? Can you explain what that little block was, Zach, please? So we got headphones, not wireless, because the wireless headphones you might use on your train or your bus Those water bus and a steam powered bus What once you use on your bus? I don't know what kind of fucking bus you fucking ride it yet? Not you the listener I don't know what kind of fucking bus or what powers your fucking bus and I don't give a fuck

I don't listen to a podcast on the bus. I never would. I don't do, I listen to podcasts when I walk my dog. I only listen to podcasts about buses. What do you think of that, dickhead? I don't think that's a little niche. So my little yelp, yeah. We have headphones right now with wires on them.

Yes. Because this is more of a technical headphone And I got to tell you the wire was on my shoulder a bit funny and it's booked you. I thought it was all right Yeah, wish as we've all come to know is a bird without wings a bird without wings is a rat it lives in the sewer It fucks and it eats And it doesn't carry as much diseases you think. That's the ticks. So while we're here today without a rudder, without wings, without a board. You tell me you had a plan. I had multiple plans. Well, what was one? I've got plan A through to plan J. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J. That's 10 plans.

10 flipping plans. One, for each of the fingers on my hand. What's this? Oh, we've got to do ads now. A producer just came into my ear, told me to do ads. Would you like to go to an ad? I mean, sure. I just, I do want to address that there was an episode Producer just came into my ear, told me to do ads. Would you like to go to an ad? I mean, sure.

I just, I do want to address that there was an episode that we have recorded that's either come out or not come out. Yeah. I was chastised. Oh yeah, but this is the job. Or reacting to the ad man. Yeah.

Telling me there was an ad, I got spooked. Yeah. I just said, I just let two. It's going to an ad. Yeah, guess what? Guess what? I was doing a parody of you. You are the King of Sting. I'm the King of Sting.

And you can watch the latest movie about me. It's called Jugga. Jugga. And we'll be back from ads now. Welcome back from the ads. We are rat podcast. This is a podcast about rats for rats. This is a rat podcast. If you're listening with your little human ears sitting on your bus sit on your bus. Whatever that bus is powered by water. Let's guess. Okay. That one that's powered by water. That's powered by bubbly water. Vroom, vroom, vroom.

Oh, that one is powered by a diesel engine you were wrong. Oh, you didn't even let me guess. You didn't even let me guess. You were saying something about rats. Rats are the birds of the gutter. The birds of the ground. The birds of the ground. The birds of the floor. And we decided my plan, plan A was not to broadcast for humans. We've done over 200 of those.

What's a rat with wings? A rat with wings is a bird, but it soars like an eagle, which is a bird that has wings. So if you're just joining us, Mark has 10 plans. Yes. The twist of this podcast, I thought there was zero plans. The twist is there are nine more plans than any podcast we've ever done. Exactly. I've got a character.

Maybe I can introduce him. You can introduce him, but only if it plays into the rap podcast because we've just, every, I believe our listenership is very loyal. And when we tell them this is for rats and not for people, they switch off immediately. So right now, we're only performing to what maybe a hundred rats at most. Yeah, they don't specify on the charts. So all I would say- When they give the listenership data when they send it to us, they don't specify if their

people are rats. No, they do not. Could be a thousand rats, could be zero rats. Colin, Jackie, oh, they have a rat listenership of over 10,000. Is that true? Yeah. Rats love Colin, Jackie, oh. So here we are, Mark's got 10 ideas.

Does your character fit in with the idea of a rat podcast made for rats and not for humans? Doesn't matter no plan, let's see. I'm just saying we're already, we've cut our listenership down by like quite a lot. Yeah. Doing this only for rats. Only rats. It's only rats. It's only rats. This is, say, even though we have less listeners, our only rats makes us $2.5 million a month. The right thing. I went on a podcast last week, and there was like a real broy YouTuber, and it was his podcast, and it was more for the clips on TikTok. I was like, how much do you make a month off your only rats? And I said, probably two and a half million.

Well, shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's crazy. Yeah. People don't believe us. We're in the top 2% of only rats. And it's, you don't see the rat dick on the main feed.

No. You've got to pay $5.50 to see the rat dick. Exactly. We have a free one that you can subscribe to where you get loads. You get rat loads. You get rat loads. Vikinis. Rad to bikinis. What no? Lats. We call them lats. Yeah. They're loads for rats. Those are for free. And you just can subscribe to that for free. The paid only rats. You can see you can see rat dig on the feet of the paid rat. And rat Teet. But it's just pictures.

You want to see videos of Rat fucking. You got to pay an extra. We have our first BG Only Rat video coming out and believe me when we say we got BG G coming, we've got a BB coming, all on the only rats, but you have to subscribe for that. And please, no people, it's weird. Oh, it's fucking odd.

Only four rats. It's only rats and it's only four rats. Exactly. So we want another rat. This is pornography for rats. We're not looking at these videos. We hire a little rat crew. Yeah, there's a little rat crew.

We have a little rat director. We call it Max a little rat crew, we have a little rat director. We call it max just because it's easier because our director's called Max. But it's not Max Miller. No, it's not Max Miller. It's Max Rat. Max the Rat. We got a little rat crew.

Now, if you've seen Boogie Nights, which I have, it's a lot like that, but with rats. We found a rat with the biggest dick. We found a rat with a dick the size of a human micro penis, which to a rat is a huge, is a buggy night's style. If they ever made buggy rats, which is the movie about our rat,

which we're trying to pitch, and if you're a rat producer out there, come on, watch buggy nights, and imagine that with a rat. Do you reckon they'd get ratty rat to play the rat? Oh, would they get ratty rat? Yeah, from rats in the, rats in the hood? Rady rat. I think ratty rat from rats in the hood would make an incredible lead for Boogie rats.

So, we're talking rats. Um, now, yes, we've got to know only rats, yes, but I've got a character. Yeah, appropriate for the rat cast. Well, I don't know got an only rats. Yes, but I got a character. Yeah, appropriate for the rat cast. Well, I don't know because that's the nature of this. So the nature of the rat. If I bring on this character, can we give them a minute and see if they're appropriate for the rat? 100%. I trust you with not only my life, but with the password to our only rats. Okay. Here we go. Well, I've never been on it. I don't want to see rats fucking. I know.

It's the burden of my life. The cross, you don't have to watch it. We have the cross. I must carry. I had a little rat community, man. I know, but there's a little thing called quality control. I had this young rat and that young rat, he just, he does all the uploads and he just sort of reads the rat deems. The cross I have to bear is that I have to watch all of these rat clips and I only

watch them through once. That's all I need to be scarred for life. But it's to make sure that the the angles are right. But how would you even know? How would you know what a good shot is in a rat porn? You're not a rat. You'd be surprised how savvy some rats are. I just worry that you're bringing the human gaze, G-A-Z-E, the human gaze to rat porn. All right, well then I'll stop and see what happens to that subscriber number.

Well, I think we might see an increase. If you're giving notes, I'm not usually giving notes. I don't usually need to give notes. It's just sort of to make sure. If it's quality control, I just don't want to hear that you're giving notes to rats about what rats do or don't like. I am very hands off when it comes to the rats. Don't have hands.

No, they got little little claws. And they got four of them. Now let's bring in Zack's rat character. Well, it's not a rat character. No, but it's a character for the rat. No, necessarily. It might be a rat character. And let's see if it resonates with our rat audiences.

Hello. Hello. Hello there. How are you today? I'm very well. You're on a rat cast. Yes. We there. How are you today? I'm very well. You're on a rat cast. Yes. We podcast exclusively to rats.

We're trying to get in on Kyle and Jackie O's rat fan base. I have over 10,000 rats that listen to the beat. Rat. Yes. What is your name? What do you do? I'm a rat. You're a rat.

And what is your name? I, my name is Ratboy. Ratboy. Ratboy. All right, first of all, yeah. You are the perfect guest. Oh, really? For what we are doing, I was concerned

considering which casting strictly to rats. And if anybody people are still listening, switch off now. This is not for you. This is rat tent, four rats. And I was concerned that a character would come in and it would be something like, I don't know, a man with 10 limbs.

No, I have four limbs and little rat claws. So you're just a regular rat? Living in the sewers? No, I live in a cage. You live in a cage. Oh, so you're a a regular rat? Yeah. Living in the sewers? No, I live in a cage. You live in a cage. Also, you're a domestic head rat. I'm a domestic rat. Yeah.

I'm actually quite clean. I'm like a big mouse with a lower rat tail. Yeah, rats are misunderstood, would you say? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that there's been some really great scenes in movies where they talk about how rats are not all that venomous. Mm-hmm. Venomous.

You know, but ever since the black plague, there's been a bad reputation for rats. You have a worry that's turning around. Oh, yeah, it's turning around at the time. Yeah. You have a worry that you're going to get eaten by a snake. No, I'm a domesticated rat. I've got to tell you though, I'm a bit scared of the cat. Oh, there's a cat in the house.

Oh, yeah. Have you ever read the cat in the hat? No, I can't read, I'm a rat. Well, a little rat eyes. Can I? You gotta see the letters in a book are so big to me. Of course they are. By little rat eyes, it's like looking at a big billboard.

But you speak English fluently. No. I have inserted into your brain a baby fish translator. A baby fish. A baby fish. Is this from Star Trek? No, not. It's from, what's that one?

Hi, Rhett. Your track is Guide to the Galaxy. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I saw that recently. We're trying the movie or the TV show. There's a TV show? Yeah, in a book. I know there's a book and a radio play. I saw the radio play. There's a TV show? Yeah, and a book. I know this book, an radio play.

I saw the, there's a radio play. I saw the movie. It was pretty good. Yeah, it was okay. Yeah, it was, you know, it was a strange clash of British comedy and American sort of film structure and sensibilities, but I think it got the, I'm glad that it maintained a degree of its Britishness. I wrote about what was the big thing. I was a big fan of the books, you know?

Big fan of the books. Yeah. But you don't, you just said you can't read. No, I said the letters are big. I said it's hard to read. Oh, I didn't say I didn't read. It's got to be a really good book for me to read it. And how many books have you read?

What was the last book that you read? They got your little rat feet clipping and tapping. Out of excitement. Last book I read was a book about black holes written by the sides educator. What's that guy with the floppy black hair? The floppy, what's the guy with the floppy black hair? What's that? Could it be Brian?

Yeah, Brian Rush. It's about the same name as the actor from succession. And I read a book about black holes from him and Jeff something. That's one smart rat. I didn't say understood it. All right, so is he taking any of that? Like equations and stuff.

Yeah, they explained them. Yeah, but I was like, what? Yeah. What's this? What other... That would squish or rat in seconds. What would squish or rat?

The book itself. Oh, black hole. And the book. The book. A hot back of the show would fuck you up. Humans have to, you know, imagine and then discover these giant objects and the entire solar system to imagine being squished to spaghetti.

Right? Not me. I just get squished by aished to spaghetti. Right, not me. Not you. I just get squished by a book. Right. I'm a rat. What's your number one regret in life? I was married. Well, not married.

I was engaged to a man. And my rat mother didn't allow it. And all right, keep going. She said he's too big. He's a man, a human man. Oh, he was a human man. He'll squish you like a book. Wait, he'll squish, because we don't squish books.

Does he, did she mean, he'll squish you like a book? That's a rat, that's a rat. Similarly, we say that in rat talk. That's that you like a book. If something is big, it'll squish you like a rat. That's a rat. That's a rat. Simmily. We say that in rat talk. That's that. It's something is big. It'll squish you like a book. Did I not establish book squish rats?

You did. It's just, it's a weird simmily. It's a weird simmily for me because he would also squish you. Yeah, but like a book, you know. It's like a time of break. Like a book. He would squish you in the same way a what if night? What if he you say ford night? Yeah, you mean two weeks. Yeah.

But telling me the rats are weird. I'm they say, I'm like a book. Listen rat. Listen, you fucking rat. I'm alright. What if he squished you with the one? What did you just have a nibble of the microphone? Yeah. Can you not do that? Sorry. That's fine. We can beat him. Have you been on

Carl and Jackie O's book? Yeah. They treated me a out of a lot better than that until they strapped me to the lie detector. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that hasn't worked out for them in the past. Hey, hey, I'm the cat. Oh, the cat is back. I'm the cat here to eat the rat. Oh, oh, and the rat is gone. Well, thank you very much, cat. That's how I'm getting on the rat here to eat the rat. Oh, and the rat is gone. Well, thank you very much, Cat.

That's how I'm getting on the rat. I eat the rat. The cat ate the rat and the cat is back. And the cat has a CD to promote. What? I got a comedy CD to promote. Did you do a comedy festival run? Nope.

Those PC police won't let me. I just go to various pubs around the country. Nice. Nice. I do offensive comedy. And I'm talking like, yeah, that doesn't sound like a sad existence at all. I'm not like, don't even think YouTube is now think like, yeah, and I bet, you know, those all, hey, I've got a gut feeling. I've got a gut feeling that what, those offensive things you say on stage, you don't actually believe them. And the people in the audience, everyone's laughing ironically. You want me to sing one of my songs? Yeah. All right, here we go. I'm the dog.

What? I'm the dog. The dog. I'm the dog. The dog ate the cat. The cat came back ate the rat. And now the dog came ate the cat. Yeah, the dog ate the rat.

Dog. You ate the rat? I ate the cat. You eight the rat and now the dog came eight the cat The dog ate the rat Dog, you ate the rat? I ate the cat, you ate the rat The rat was inside What was inside the rat? A little, little mouse A little mouse, the... Oh, the dog ate the cat, the rat

Dog I'm gonna put you down Home? Oh Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm gonna put you down home oh Horse while while while while while While while I the dog ate the cat I'd the rat with a mouse inside it while you got a long teeth What do you, shut up. Home? Oh God.

What's this? I'm a black hole. A black hole. Which, the rat, read a book about, didn't understand. See how things come full circle when you have a plan. Whether this is what happens, sometimes people want a plan for a podcast.

Sometimes people are stupid. Here's the reveal. We knew from the start that we would be doing a rat podcast. We sat down, we discussed what animal would we like to base this podcast around? Yeah. We talked at length. There was not a moment of this podcast that wasn't planned, planned, written, rehearsed, and then executed to perfection. Every single word you heard was written and rewritten. We thought what is better originally the idea was people were listening to the podcast. Yeah. And a people character came in. Yeah.

And I believe it was you, Mark, that said, what about rats? I said, let's look at what rat content is out there. Not a lot. College Akyo's podcast, that's a bad idea. But that's not rat content. No, that's content with a big rat following. Yes.

They're just doing normal content. Yeah. They're just doing radio style stuff repackage for podcasts. Yeah, and rats are just getting around it. They just for punk. Yeah, and rats just getting around it. They just like it. Yeah, you can't tell a rat what they can and can't like. No, you can't, unless that rat is your child.

If that rat is your child, sorry, I have gas. I ate a gas. I ate a gas. I got a rack gas. I ate a ham and cheese croissant with dijon mustard before this podcast. That's gonna fuck you. I saw you eating that and I thought to myself and I ate a lot of stuff that fucks me. So this isn't coming from a place of judgment, but I saw that.

So you ate a lot of cro you ate a lot of sex machines. No. This is bad food, bad food for my tummy. I saw your croissant and I thought that's going to fuck Mark. Not like a sex machine. Flashlight. Just a little joke. Listen, do you have anything to promote?

Yeah. I have a rat cast. I'm doing a podcast exclusively for rats. I see, I see, I see. I want every little motherfucking rat out there with a pair of headphones and an iPhone to jump onto the rat cast. You didn't mention that you had a rat cast when you pitched the rat podcast here today. Let me tell you right now. Let me tell you right now. Let me tell the right cast. You didn't mention that you had a rat cast when you pitched the right podcast here today.

Let me tell you right now. Let me tell you right now. Let me tell you right now. Ever seen the film Inception? This is episode one of my rat cast. I've been played. You got played like a goddamn fiddle. Call me a virtuoso.

Or did I get played, Mark? What do you mean? Who called you last week? It gave you the idea of a rat cast. A quiet investor, a secret investor. And you're opinion, don't tell me who called me. Well, how would I know? Oh my God. Mark, you told that person to call me.

No, I was made. I was making an accident. Yeah, cut the middle man out. I was pretend I funded the rat cast. What? And guess what? Well, always read the small print because I make 100% of the rat dollars. Well, very interesting. You say that you didn't. What? Whatever you're going to say, you didn't do it. You don't know. I know. Signs the contract.

What's that? Signs of the contract. You sign the contract. No, no, no, no. You said whatever I would say I didn't do. Signs of the contract. Didn't do it. Buckhead.

I didn't have to. It was your credit. Buckhead. What? This is all pretend? What do you mean there was no contract there's no rat podcast is all improvisation exactly So you know what you just did what plan B What That

Was my plan B all along if you plan a I had a J plan a What that all along. If you plan A. I had a J. Plan A. What? That was my plan A. What was? You thinking all of this was real and then saying, no, you knowing it was all pretend, you thinking this was all pretend. And then, and what was playing B? Playing B was just to do a podcast where I play a silly boy and you broke man. And C. And C was to call, try and call Broden and just say, pardon? What was playing D?

D was to dick around, D for dick, but do it. A. What was A? A was to take some ecstasy and just say what happens. F was to fuck each other. I don't need to get to J, we would have stayed on F. There's nothing I love more than fucking my friends. Mark, thank you so much for joining me on the anti-donna podcast. Thank you so much for being on my rat cast.

Now available on all major podcasts I've been played. Next week, the, the Rader and the Wings will be back. Unless you like this, let us know on the Reddit. And if you didn't like it, let us know on the Reddit. And if you did like it, fucking go the ones that didn't on the Reddit. No, I'm joking. Don't, don't, we wouldn't, that's me. Um, uh, but if you did like it, let us know. Give us a five star review. It helps. It helps. It helps keeps the bloody lights on. It helps. Give us a five star review. Say more rat cast. And if you didn't like it, give us a five star review anyway. We're keep the bloody lights on. It helps. Give us a five star review, say more rat cast.

And if you didn't like it, give us a five star review anyway. We're gonna get on with it. Mark, I have to go to the toilet. The little boys room. The man's room, I'm a man now. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. All right, I love you.

Yeah, I love you too. And I hope you're well. Yeah, this is the last time we're going to speak for a while, isn't it? No, no, no, no, no, we'll do more of these to do. Okay, great. Let's see you. Bye. You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com.

See you next week!