Aunty Donna Podcast - Sam, Sam & Mark on Coffee Café

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

This week Mark is joined by everyone's favourite South African brothers, Sam & Sam, to talk about the boys new show Aunty Donna's Coffee Café which you can stream on ABC iView now.Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listener. BBC iview now remember if you're loving the auntie Donna pod you can get access to bonus episodes and the video versions at auntie Donna Club.com enjoy the podcast Hello and welcome to the auntie Donna podcast where we're talking about our new show Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe You need to be a leader if you're hosting the show I am hosting, I am leading and I am doing it I said to my friend You wait, we have spoken about etiquette No I've never spoken to you about etiquette

I'm putting my god damn foot down You don't talk until I introduce you No, every time You talk over me I want to do a legitimate interview with the South African Sams about coffee, their favourite coffees and you are not going to fuck me this time.

I don't actually drink coffee. You're still talking. You're still talking. Stop. I will introduce you. You need to calm down. I will introduce you. I'm not calm and I will not calm down. I will talk about coffee. You will answer my fucking questions that I've prepared. I have 19 of. And I will not calm down. I will talk about coffee. You will answer my fucking questions that I've prepared. I have 19 of them.

And you will speak once you have been introduced. What I need to say to you first, though, is that you're talking to us like we are from Adelaide or Melbourne or Sydney. You understand this, Mark. You're right. You understand. You're very aggressive, Mark. Yes, I am. With two cars. with you talking to me

like I'm a Frenchman you probably think Mark I'm an alpha man because I yell and I scream but I'll tell you Mark there is nothing more

biter than a man that yells and screams biter it says to me it says to me oh I need to fight but what I have

I have my car I have my car I have my car It's a beautiful Lexus Oh beautiful Lexus Mark It is beautiful Have you introduced us yet Mark? No No you should probably introduce us

No shit So hello Sam's here to talk about your little show You probably say Oh yes I'm doing a bit about the show I've written down coffee orders for them I'm going to read them to you Do you see what you need to be a leader? You need to go a lot

I'm not going to yell and shout I'm not going to yell and shout I'm not going to be the only big strong man you're yelling and shouting right now I just want to put that there's nothing more better than that Mark I hear this all right beta this alpha that that's a that is an arbitrary I know we don't divide men by alpha beta I'll tell you who is an alpha, though. Have you seen Bruce Lee, Mark? Yes, I've seen Bruce Lee. He's an alpha. He's from Hong Kong, right? And he fights. Hong Kong.

And he does the nunchucks and he does the fighting, right? Yes, yes. He's like water, Mark. He moves like water. The water. Mark, you come in here and you yell at your guests. Mark, you just need to simply say, Hello, welcome, we're promoting our television show,

whatever it's called. What's it called? Then let me do. We're promoting our television show, whatever it's called. What's it called? Then let me do it. What's your television show? Auntie Donna's Coffee Cafe. So you do a little thing and then you say to congratulate us on this or whatever. I've got some guests. Let me do it then.

Let me do it. Let me do it. Do you know who I am? All I need you to do. You're Sam. I'm Sam, Mark. I'm from South Africa. Yes, I know.

And this is Sam from South Africa. What do you know about South Africa? No, we're not going to get into that yet. Mark, let about South Africa? No, we're not going to get into that yet. Let me tell you, man. We're not going to get into that yet. Mark, let me tell you, right? When you talk about, oh, we're not going to get into that. Well, that's my truth, right?

Because it is not a walk in the park. I don't want to stand on your truth. You know what I'm saying? I know, I know. You come here and go, oh, I just want to talk about coffee and cafe. Well, Mark, you're not talking about coffee and cafe in South Africa. No, because we're not in South Africa. No, because we're not in South Africa. And we're not on a…

Oscar Pistorius, mate. Oh, tough guy, right? And bad. He did bad things, right? The Blade Runner. Right? Mark, you understand? We don't talk about Oscar Pistorius.

And if it's not on… If our PR person didn't tell you not to talk about him, we'll refuse to talk about him, right? Hey, Mark. He thought he was a burglar in his bathroom. Mark, I got a question for you, Mark. All right? I got a question for you, all right? I'm not going to go there.

He was a friend of mine. I don't want to go. He was a friend of yours? I don't want to go there. I think he's the fastest man on blades. No, you just opened up a fucking well. He's the blade runner, Mark. He runs on blades.

Fastest man on blades, the way he moved. Hey, Mark. Is the Zoom connection okay? We're coming to you from Perth. Yes, it's fine. We're on blades. Fastest man on blades, the way he moved. Hey, Mark, is the Zoom connection okay? We're coming to you from Perth. Yes, it's fine. We're on Zoom. It's really good, actually. We're on Zoom, Mark.

You know why? Because we paid top dollar for our internet, Mark. I'm on one little Zoom camera, and my brother, Sam, is on another little. We don't live together, Mark. We don't live together. I know. You can see at the back of my window Beautiful river Of birth I actually live closer to Fremantle Mark

I live out near the beach It is because I was with a beautiful surfer woman Alright She was beautiful She had blonde hair Tanned skin We would go surfing every morning But she broke my heart Mark

I'll tell you why Why I'll tell you why Because she wanted to drink coffee in the morning Me I just wanted a clean green smoothie I just wanted a plain green smoothie. I just wanted a plain green smoothie, Mark. You understand? I just wanted a plain green smoothie.

And you broke up over that? He heard the noise in the bathroom, Mark. And what did she... No, no, no. We're not talking about Oscar. It's not funny. He shot. No, it's not funny.

I know he's the Blade Runner. It's his friend. He doesn't like to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not friends with the guy. Why would you tease me about that? He was your friend. He doesn't like to talk about it. I don't want to talk about him. I'm not friends with the guy. Why would you say he was your friend before? You think everyone from South Africa is friends, Mark? When do these characters become characters that say something and then immediately contradict it?

I've never contradicted myself ever. You're telling me that you think everyone from South Africa... He's a bad man and you're saying I'm friends with him? What do you think is an alpha male, Mark? What makes a big, strong alpha? He probably thinks it's that chef man, you know? One day from England. Coffieri. No, not Coffieri. He's a funny? He probably thinks it's that chef man, you know, when they're from England. Coffieri.

No, not Coffieri. He's a funny one. Oh, he's funny. Gordon Ramsay. He's talking about Gordon Ramsay. Oh, going to put the sauce on the chicken, you know. He's always talking about, oh, that is a bomb, bomb flavour, you know.

And our guest today is Sam and Sam from South Africa, and we're here to talk about Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe. I'm not from South Africa. Yes, you are. No, I'm from Perth. Yeah, no, but you're. I and Sam from South Africa. And we're here to talk about Auntie Donna's Coffee Cafe. I'm not from South Africa. Yes, you are. No, I'm from Perth. Yeah, no, but you're- I was born in South Africa. So then you're from South Africa.

Oh, I've South African blood running through my veins. So you're from South Africa. But no, I live in a suburb of Perth, out near on the way to Fremantle. District 9 is not real, Mark. I never said it was. He probably watches District 9. He probably watches District 9 going, watches District 9 Going oh this is Not real man

It's not real It's not even an allegory for anything Mark I know I understand It's just a funny little movie Do you know what a prawn is? Yes I know what a prawn is Drop my piece of paper

Mark you dropped your little piece of paper This is amateur hour You know I don't If you have If you have You walk around with paper that is peasant, mate. Peasant? Peasant, mate.

You got to have an iPad. I keep all your information on iPad with a little robot pencil. I did an interview on the radio the other week because I was on maths. I did an interview on the radio, right? Yeah. Married at first sight, Mark. Mark, and they made me a villain. They manipulated me.

They edited it away. They made me like a villain, Mark. You understand? I said, I wasn't a villain. They manipulated me. They edited it away. They made me like a villain, Mark. You understand? I said, I wasn't a villain. They've edited it a certain way. And people said, but you still said the things. I said, I did. But you've edited it a certain way.

They say you're coming off as a misogynist, Mark. You understand? Editing, Mark. Editing. I don't know if they can edit misogyny into your character. Oh, right. No, no. I'm a misogynist.

Yeah, great. Hey, Mark, I'm a misogynist. Yeah, great. Hey, Mo, I'm from Perth. Do you understand? Do you know Perth? Firstly, do you know Western Australia? Yes. Right, yeah? Yes.

So that's where we are from. Yes. We're from Western Australia. Originally from South Africa. City of Perth. Born in South Africa. It's tough in South. I mean, I think that's where Western Australia is going, the way of South Africa, you know?

Oh, yeah. It's not even a liberal party anymore, Mark. Well, that leads us right into our first question about Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe. Have you watched the show? Oh, God, never watched that show. I'll tell you why. I watch real things. I tell you what I watch.

I watch The Power of One, the adaptation of my favorite book. Have you seen The Power of One? Have you seen The Power of One, Mark? The Power of One. Oh, the scene where the little boy gets a kiss on him. Oh, Mark. It is powerful in the book. But it makes me weep in the film.

My favorite show is that man, Mr. Bean. Oh, he's funny. He walks around getting stuck in things. It doesn't matter if you speak English, if you speak Afrikaans. You can enjoy the humor of Mr. Bean. As a little teddy and he gets stuck in things. He drives the car from the roof. I've got an uncle, he speaks virtually only African. He watches that Mr. Bean. Connected with him over Mr. Bean. You know, I connected with him because he was an odd man, Mark. Yeah. He was an odd man, you know, he had like the crackly, crackly red skin from the sun. Mark, you understand?

Yes. And he wore a suit because he was a multimillionaire. He made his money in Emerald Mons. But he was an odd man, you know? He did a bit of the hard work before he bought the suit. Well, this show is a little bit like. What is this show you're talking about, Mark? Auntie Donna's Coffee Cafe.

No, we're not. Have you seen Mr. Bean? We're here to talk about Mr. Bean, Mark. I was about to say. You've seen Mr. Bean. I love the one where he gets the little toy. The little toy one. Do you know the little toy episode, Mark?

Not specifically. Mr. Bean, Mark. Yes, I know Mr. Bean. I know Mr. Bean. I know when he tries to, he's at the beach and he tries to take his swimsuit off. No, that's not Mr. Bean, Mark. Mark, I've not seen that episode. That's not an episode of Mr. Bean.

Yes, it is. I've seen every episode of Mr. Bean. Season one, episode two. Mr. Bean. Oh, no, Mark. Mark, I've not seen that episode. That's not an episode of Mr. Bean. Yes, it is. I've seen every episode of Mr. Bean. It's like season one, episode two. Mr. Bean. Oh, I love Mr. Bean. He's not a bean, Mark. You've got to understand that. I know he's not a bean.

I know he's not a bean. He's a little bean, you know? I know he's not. Just let me introduce you. He dropped from space, Mark. He come from space because he's an alien, right? Potentially he's an alien. But this is the thing about the alien, right?

It doesn't matter if you speak English, if you speak Af About the alien It doesn't matter If you speak English If you speak African It doesn't matter If you speak Dutch It doesn't matter If you speak African Or English You all enjoy The beautiful Mr. Bean

Have you seen the movie? I've seen the movie The ultimate disaster movie It goes and destroys The painting right Mark? I know I've seen it I said to my brother

I was watching it You said to him in the movie And he's eating popcorn And I say Look as long as you have A clean green smoothie after, you know, you can have your popcorn. Me, I'm not out for the popcorn, all right? I'm just clean green smoothies, all right?

But I turn to you and I say, hey, after this, let's get some bone broth. He said that to me in 1997. What did that have to do with the movie and the painting? I just saw, I remember I just seen Lala. Or Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. You cannot lie. Oh, you cannot lie.

A liar. He draws to lie. Lala. Which is the problem, right? My father is a lawyer, right? And my uncle is a lawyer. He cannot law. My, my, my grandfather is a judge before that he was a lawyer.

Uh huh. Right. They were a big part of the judicial system In South Africa right Good men Lawyers And I watched the movie And I watched this movie right

And I go La la I go to my brother I go this is hilarious right Because let's be honest Even the good lawyers They do a little bit of lying And this lawyer

Came to the law The voice is this clown Pulls Oh He goes Jim Carrey He's a clown voice is this clown pulls He goes He's a clown He goes this clown He goes my clown

This clown goes my clown Right And he trusts the law He goes my clown doesn't do this Right And he's a liar But he can't lie no more What do you think of the scene in the elevator

When he can't lie There's no scene with an elevator I don't remember Yes there is There is I don't recall a scene with an elevator. There's a couple in the elevator. Oh, we're talking about 1997.

Do you think we remember everything? No. No. I'll tell you why. Because we are going out to the nightclubs, right? While you're sitting at home, that little nerd. Peacocking. Oh, going, God, need to re-watch it.

La La. I watched it in 97. I moved on with my life, Mark. Mr Bean, I saw La La. Yeah, go watch La La. Go watch Mr Bean. But now, I'm on with my life, Mark. Mr. Bean, I saw Lala. Yeah, go watch Lala, go watch Mr. Bean. But now, I'm not watching those old movies. Go to Perth clubs. I go, and sometimes, right, if I've been to the club,

I've already gotten the number of the girl, right, I'll just take her out on a beautiful date, get her some wine, get her some dine, you know what I'm saying, Mark? You get her some dine? We have a wine and dine. I bet what I'm saying, Mark? You get her some dine? Do we have a wine and dine? At five in the morning, you body cross. And I'll say, you know,

I'll say, if I'm going to have a bread, you know, because they have the bread at the restaurants, I'll say, if I'm going to have the bread, let's make it 4am, you know? Yeah.

You understand? Let's get up early for the bread and let's do the cross. And that's garlic naan as well. And you think probably, oh, he's going to wine and dine this girl. He won't have his clean green smoothie. Well, Mark, I will have my clean green smoothie

because then I'm not going to make the bad choices at the restaurant. Mm. You know, so I'll say, oh, you know, I'm full. I've had half a bread. I'm full. We also champagne as well. Oh, no problem. Drink a champagne shows power.

Yeah. I have an alpha move. I'll say to them, I'll say to them, and get us some champagne, right? Is this on the date? What's this? On the date? With the girl, yes. And are you there, Sam?

No, I'm at a different date, different place. Different place. We don't go on dates together. But I'm also with an equally beautiful woman. Beautiful woman. Blonde hair. Not on a dating application. Blonde hair. Blonde hair. On a dating application. Blonde hair.

I'll talk to her and say, you want to go see Mr. Ben? You know, that's the thing, right? And then you go, let's watch Mr. Ben, you know? And then I might laugh to the woman. You understand, right? I do understand. And I'll probably be like,

oh, you might laugh to a woman. No, I'm a big nerd, right? Well, I'm not going to help you with that. On any of those like Oh do you make love to a woman I don't know I'm a big nerd Well I'm not going to help you with that On any of those dates Do you ever You know Put on some TV No

We don't have a television You don't watch any TV Comedy is for people who cannot You know Don't know how to succeed Then why did you come on this show I wanted to congratulate you For your new show

I think it's a good opportunity For you and your little nerd friend. Have you seen it? We have a network of people on LinkedIn. Right, I'm on LinkedIn. You're on LinkedIn? Yeah, I'm on LinkedIn. I'll say someone will post something.

I have a friend. He's just made a TV show. He's made $19 million. Well. I'll say a friend, right, and I'll go, I had a great time at the conference learning about oil. And I'll say, oh, that is fantastic. Good job.

And I love your new shirt. Where did you get it? And he'll say, I got the shirt at Rhodes and Beckett. Right. I'll say, oh, that's a nice shirt from Rhodes and Beckett. This is an older gentleman. Okay. But he looks nice and stylish in his Rhodes and Beckett shirt, rolled up sleeves.

I go, that's very nice. And that's all really lovely to hear. I'll say just another closure. I sold the house. I'm a real estate agent. He's a real estate agent. I need to cut to an ad break. Is this going to take long?

I sold the house for $19 million. Do you understand this, Mark? Yes. In Perth, that is worth a lot. We're not talking a little townhouse. Twiggy's house. Twiggy's house? Twiggy.

Twiggy. Twiggy. Mark, I think Twiggy from Perth. Twiggy Forrest. Twiggy's house? Twiggy. Twiggy. Twiggy. Mark, I think you need to go to an ad now. I am going to go to an ad. Why aren't you going to an ad? We can't do an ad right now. You said it yourself, Mark. Shush.

And we're back from the ad. Hey, Mark. Mark. Yes. You understand my brother is a real estate agent. I know Twiggy Forrest. Me? I don't deal with houses, all right?

I deal purely with the money. The money? Now, I can't quite explain my job to you. Yeah. It's hard and it's too complicated. But what I do is I trade money from different places and I'll take the money from one place, I'll trade it, I'll put it on, and in the computer I have people that, I have 100 people under me, all right?

Only two or three talk to me, but I've got a hundred people under me. And I will turn that money into more money. You understand? That is what I do. I deal purely with money. I know Twiggy Forest. And he knows Twiggy Forest. And together, right, we are very wealthy, Mark.

Now, we did, we built it ourselves. Don't you understand? Yep. We did it ourselves. We're from a place called, right, we're not from We did it ourselves. We're from a place called, right? We're not from Perth. No. We're from a place called Zotaprekap.

Now, my father, right? He only owned, my father only owned, I think, 5% of the mines in South Africa. Right? And he had to sell them in 1992. Yeah, around that period. Right? He sold all his mines. Don't want to go into it.

I won't go into it. We decided to move. So, he sold all his mines don't want to go into it I won't go into it we decided to move so he sold all his mines and we moved to Perth and we had we had barely well my father had

I don't even know he doesn't talk about money right and he did you think he gave me that money you think he said oh you have that money little bit

he gave us a little bit of the money how much you know it's a bit here a bit there not as much as you think you know, it's a bit here, a bit there. Not as much as you think. You know, it's the company.

Like 500,000. No, he never gave me that mark. He never gave me that kind of money. It all at once. You understand? He never gave me like 500 at all at once. He might've bought the car, gave me the car. Cause if you're giving money, right, they tax that.

So he do it through car, buy me a company, buy me a house, you know. That's how you get the money through. You're not cash poor. Cash poor? Cash poor. My dad is got cash poor. He's poor. He's actually poor.

It is hard, you know. It is hard. He's not got a lot of cash. And how many properties does he own? He owns all of them. He owns every single building in Perth. Bought them all in 1993. Because you understand, but he doesn't have cash.

If you came to my father. We decided to move in 1993. I remember once, it was 1995, and my father said, let's go get some Australian ice cream. Did not have two coins to rub together. Right, and I said, I'd love some ice cream. And we wanted one each, right? And he said, boys, I can't afford it. I don't have that cash right now.

But he did have the credit. So we all had an ice cream. Well, we asked you, speaking of ice cream, have you ever had an affogato? No. Now, an affogato is ice cream and coffee. I don't drink coffee. And coffee is a big part of our new series, Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe.

I don't drink coffee. I find coffee disgusting. Why? Do you have Mr. Ben in your show? Yeah, Mr. Ben. We have beans.

We have coffee beans. I tell you what my favorite episode of Mr. Ben, right? Where he goes to the gym, he goes to the gym and he sees a woman over at the other side of the gym, a beautiful woman. Right. And he approaches the woman. He says, listen, I know you don't want to be approached.

I don't think, I don't think Mr. Bean does that. I know you don't want to be approached at the gym. And she says, no, I don't want to be approached by those school boys. You can talk to them. You are cut and lean. Right, you are cut and lean. I said, listen.

This is in Mr. Bean. This this is either mr bean or a memory and he goes he goes listen i will talk to you after you have finished your workout i don't want to disturb you and she says okay she finishes her workout and then i finish my workout and then after oh she has changed I've changed I'm drinking my Beautiful Clean green Clean green juice With a little bit of protein powder in it

Only a little bit actually And a bit of peanut butter Because fat's not bad And I approach this beautiful woman And I say listen I have plans tonight But I am willing to cancel them If I can take you out

To a beautiful Crown Casino I want to take you to Crown Casino I want Casino. I want to take you to Crown Casino. I want to take you to Nobu. And she says to me, she says, listen, I have plans as well. I say, I think you should cancel them because I'm going to give you a beautiful night. I'll take her to Nobu. I'll make beautiful love to her.

At Nobu? No, afterwards at my house. And then I I And then It's a bit complicated I'm with another woman And then a few months later When I break up with that other woman I get with this woman

That I went to Nobu with And I have a beautiful Six month relationship with her Is that That's That's your favourite episode of Mr Bean? Hilarious Mark Hilarious episode of Mr. Bean? Hilarious, Mark. Hilarious episode

of Mr. Bean. He's an oaf. He's an oaf. What's your favourite episode of Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean. Oh, I love Mr. Bean. My favourite episode

of Mr. Bean is the oaf. He's walking down to the store to buy things. He goes to Laundromat. And he puts the clothes in there

and he takes the clothes in there and he, and, uh, he takes the clothes home. Now, what I like about this, right. Hmm. Is that, uh, there's no prawns. Yeah, I understand why there's no prawns. There's no prawns? He said movie that we don't have actual prawns in South Africa. Do you understand?

Yeah. You don't have any prawns? No, we don't have any prawns. We don't have any prawn movie. We don't have actual prawns in South Africa. Do you understand? Yeah. You don't have any prawns? No, we have prawns on the barbecue, prawns in the salad. That's your favorite episode of Mr. Bean? So do you know?

You know prawns? Do you know? Have you seen the movie District 9? Yes, I've seen District 9. It is a fantasy film. It is about nothing but prawns. Well, I think there's some arguments to say It's got another layer to it I didn't pick up on them

It's about nasty prawns The prawns are the bad guys Awful prawns I don't know if that's Do you have trouble tracking metaphors? No I love metaphors But I have some blind spots I've've been told, when it comes to South Africa. Prawns!

Yes, prawns. Now, my favorite thing about Auntie Donna's Coffee Cafe is that we have a comedic, light-hearted look at cafe culture in Melbourne. Can I tell you a bit of advice, if you're ever going to a cafe or something? About what? About going to a cafe or something. About what? About going to a cafe. It relates to your little show that I'm sure is shit, Mark. I'm sure your show is a shit little show.

It's fine. We're not in this one. We're not in this. No, no. But even if we were, I'm sure it'd be shit. I think it's got some good ideas. I don't get what you're doing. I don't get all the yelling and screaming.

You should watch Mr. Ben. Oh, Mr. Ben. I've watched Mr. Ben. Doesn't matter. African, English, Dutch. One episode of Mr. Ben is he, Mr. Ben. I've watched Mr. Barney. Doesn't matter. Africa, English, Dutch. He goes to the gym. Right. And he's lifting and lifting. And then some big young men come in. They think they're strong. Right. Because they're big, right? They're big. And they look at me and they say I'm lean. Guys, he's lean, he's not strong. And then I'll bench twice what they're

benching. That's what he does every time. They'll try to match. They'll try to match here. And I'm going, they're going, I'll put 80 on the bench and I'll go, well, I'll go 100. And they can to match. They'll try to match here. And I'm going, they're going, I'll put 80 on the bench. And I'll go, well, I'll go 100. And they can't match. They can't match him. Doesn't matter what. I say, and I walk past, go, keep pressing, boys. Boys. And then I head to the room.

I see the PT trainer. I say, hey, what are you doing tonight? Do you want to go to Nobu at Crown? Then I go to her. And she's a beautiful body. Blonde hair, Mark. And I take her back to my ass and make love to this woman.

She's got beautiful blonde hair, Mark. Beautiful blonde hair. Lululemon. Lot of Lululemon. She owns Lululemon, Mark. Lululemon. I understand. She owns Lululemon

but works at the gym as a PT. No, no, Mark. She owns the clothing. She doesn't. I did make love to a woman once around a percentage of Lululemon But works at the gym As a PT No no Mark She owns the clothing She doesn't I did make love to a woman Once Who owned a percentage Of Lululemon

I said to this PT I said If you stay with me You never have to work A day in your life And that's Again Mr Bean

That's your favourite Very funny episode If I put it in a card I say You do not have a cap You do not have a cap Oh that's it You know You can stay in what you do not have a cap. You do not have a cap. Oh, that's it. You know?

You can claim what you want. You go into Perth, you buy whatever you want. You go into Perth, you go into Creon, you buy whatever you want. Here's the thing, Mark. Sometimes, oh, wait, do you want to know about my favorite cafe stories? I mean, not really. So we're not going to a cafe or any shop, really, right? I always have $50 in my wallet, right?

Cash? Cash. I always have a bit of cash. I don't use the cash, right? I don't spend with cash. I use my card because you get the points, right? A credit card is made out of plastic, but it feels like metal. Right, and that is our...

Because we've got the black credit card, you know, the Amex black, right? No limits. No limits. No limits, right. But you walk into a shop... You know how you get a card like that? You pay MX black rot. No limits. No limits. No limits. Right. But you walk into a shop, you get a card like that. You pay for it. That's right. You pay for it.

Right. But Mark, you walk into that shop, you walk into that five grand a year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You pay for it. Right.

You pay quite a bit, but you have to have the money. Mark, I walk into a cafe or a shop and I'm always, it's always okay if they don't have their card working or anything because I've always got $50 in my pocket. Smart. And I'll spend the $50 and once I've spent it, I'll go to the nearest ATM, I'll get out another $50. They might give you a little bit of change. What if you spend $25?

And then what I'll do, right, if I'm out on a date with a lady, right, and we're leaving neighbor or crown and there's an homeless person, right, I'll go, oh, and I won't even look at the man. I'll just, as if it has happened naturally, I'll just be talking to the girl and I'll give the man the $25. Like it's, because you can't give them too much because then you look silly. I'll just give him $25. Like I do it all the time.

I tell you, the ladies love that. It is a great way to attract women. That sounds a bit crook. Okay, Mark. Yeah. I know. You know what crook is. You know what crook is? You know what crook is? Little place called South Africa. You go out hunting in South Africa, right? And you know why they, you know,

here they call it hunting, right? Hunting, you know? Yeah. Hunting, right? I know hunting. And hunting, right? They call it hunting, but there's only one hunt, right? Hunting, you know? You know hunting, right? I know hunting. And hunting, you're right. They call it hunting, but there's only one hunt, right? It's the man and maybe the duck, right? Here, I went hunting with a man.

Wait till you see where this is going. In Australia, you go hunting, there's only one hunt. Maybe a duck. There's a man and a duck. No, we're not talking about that. Get your mind out of the gutter, man. No, this is men. We go hunting, right?

So maybe it's a co-worker. Maybe it's a man you're trying to impress at the conference. You're going out, you're shooting ducks. But there's only one hunt. South Africa, maybe you go out, you shoot the gazelle, right? That is one of the hunts. But there's a second hunt. There is lions.

There is tigers. There is hyenas. And they are hunting you, Mark. You understand when you go hunting in South Africa, you are hunting the smaller animal. The moment you step into the protected safari zone where the owners give you a lion to go and kill, you are in danger. They could kill you. Well, you pay them. Isn't that most, that's most's That's most hunting Isn't that most

No no here it's like A ducker Shoot the duck You know get Or a business deal Or maybe your And you can go All you have to do

Is just go on the website Right and go Am I allowed to hunt ducks In this area at this time In South Africa You have to pay a lot of money And they tell you Which line you're allowed to kill

They corner it And then you can shoot it And you're powerful That you feel like a man. You would like this line. And if it's one of your friends and maybe they haven't gone hunting, like me, I can go out and shoot it. But if it's one of your friends, they'll drag the line for them.

So it's a little bit easier. They'll go, oh, let's get the line nice and close. They'll give the line a bit of food. And it's great. It's great to see you bring like a co-worker or something. Good corporate opportunity. Good corporate opportunity. You're there for the conference and maybe on the Saturday

before the conference dinner, you take them out, they shoot their first line. It's a lot easier for them. But it is good for them. It builds them up, you know? Do you remember when you came to my house in LA? No, I don't recall. Yeah, that's right.

We went there. We were hunting for booty. What's this? Canonically, we were hunting for booty. Oh, we canonically went hunting. I thought that was, I thought we went to a studio and we played ourselves. No, you flew away. I thought that was a little scene.

No, you flew away at the end. Oh, right. I always, in my mind, I always thought we went to. No, you're right, Zach. Me, Mark, Sam. Yeah, I thought what happened. Did you say went- Mark, Sam. Yeah, all right. Sam. I thought what happened-

Did you say Zach, Mark, Sam? Mark, listen, Mark. Listen, Mark. You have time to think. When you're in South Africa, et cetera, et cetera. Talk, talk, talk. Now, I remember, all right, I was in Los Angeles for like a business opportunity, all right? Yeah, that's right.

And I was- Because the US dollar at the time was a little bit lower. So if I traded it to the japanese yen in a couple of weeks i would make three and four million dollars right that's you know you've needed and i was in la looking at the dollar talking to some bankers right and i get the call from mark do you remember this thing because sam was there as well he was drinking a lean clean green juice lean lean clean green juice and i'll, I've just got the call from Mark. Do you remember this Sam?

Yeah. I got the WhatsApp. I got the WhatsApp from, he got the WhatsApp. I got the call. And you said to me, you said, why haven't you responded to my WhatsApp? I said, you did get it the wrong Sam. And did we laugh? Oh, we laughed.

We laughed and laughed. We come down to a shoot in Glendale. I'm shooting out in Glendale. We've got this little cameo. People like you from the podcast. We thought it would be cute. So we come out and you've written some script about, I don't know, like, oh, can we sell you booty or something? I don't know what it was, right?

And we just said, Mark, throw out the script. Because we like Mr. Bean. Right. Throw out the script. Let us do some physical comedy. You cut most of it, all of the physical comedy. Yes, we danced around like peasant. Well, you're just doing Mr. Bean gear.

I thought we would have gotten in trouble. Yeah. I remember I turned the camera and talked about Mr. Bean for three hours. Have you seen Mr. Bean? We had to leave that on the cutting room floor. But that was for a TV show. Oh, okay. Yeah, Rod.

And we just made another TV show. Rod, I think I saw it on the ads. My daddy was watching ABC. He watches it sometimes. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. And we just made another TV show. Right. I think I saw it on the ads. My dad, he was watching ABC. He watches it sometimes. He's not a fan. He prefers scone news, but he was watching ABC and I said, oh no, Mark. Did you say that?

Yeah. On ABC? Oh yeah. I saw that. And Mark was there. I said, that Mark. That's Mark. I rang you. I said, congratulations. Mark. I said, I just shot you a quick DM. I said, Mark That's Mark I rang you I said congratulations Mark I said I just shot you a quick DM

I said Mark Saw you on the television Congratulations You look like an oath Big opportunity You look like an oath Dancing around I just thought to myself

You know I don't like Mark I don't consider him A professional I don't think he's a very Charismatic man But I will keep a connection Because that's what's so important Right

So that's why I shot you the DM Not to humour you But I don't care connection Because that's what's so important Right So that's why I shot you the DM Not to humour you But I don't care for this little television show Well tell you what I do like though Rock and roll concerts I went and saw I went and saw I don't know what they were

They were like I was at a Like But they were basically doing ACDC covers Right I saw I saw a night of

The stars And there's people impersonating Michael Jackson Right Doing the moonwalk And I thought Who says doing ACDC covers, right? I saw a night of the stars and there's people impersonating Michael Jackson. Right. Doing the moonwalk. And I thought it was as good as he was there. It was a good crown. The crown. Yeah, I saw it.

And then someone played Elvis. And then someone played Ella Fitzgerald. Amazing, right. Oh, stars in front of you again. Right. But they're dead. But they're here again. Oh, I love that.

Prince Mark. Impersonators playing all of them. Well, where there are a lot of stars. It's only $180. Are in Auntie Donna's coffee cafe. Oh. On ABC iview. It's coming off as dead.

Which you came, well, I'm pretty desperate to, uh, wrap this fucking thing up. Why do you want to wrap it up? Why give me this advice? Because. Spinach. Because, what? Yeah, that's. Spinach. That's what you got to add for lean, clean, green. Do you think that is? That's what wrap it up? Because. Spinach. What? Spinach.

That's what you got to add for a lean, clean, green. That's what makes it green, sure. But it's not the source of iron. No. So that's why you need to put a couple of beans in there, Mark. Mr. Beans? No, you can't whiz up a Mr. Bean. All right.

I like to put a couple of egg whites in. I used to do it with the egg, you see. Just quickly, what's your favourite coffee? I don't drink coffee. I'm telling you my favourite drink, Sam. Green smoothie. Oh yes, what do you put in your green smoothie? Spinach, kale, lemon, protein powder. Little bit of egg white. Mark, they can get, you know, you don't have to throw out the egg yolk

anymore. You can buy the egg white in a little,on. At the shops at Tull is all words. A little carton of egg white. Mine's a cappuccino. Oh, that's nice. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by auntydonnaclub.com. See you next week.

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