Aunty Donna Podcast - Santa Claus & Mrs Claus feat. Mish Wittrup

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Mrs Claus makes her long awaited return to the Aunty Donna Podcast...this time without her lawyer present. LINKS  Listen to Mish & Zach’s podcast ‘Mish and Zach's Leguizamarama’  Check out the latest Grouse House series 'How To Be Wellness' by Lachie Ross https://bit.ly/howtobewellness  Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig   Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS   Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Guest: Mish Wittrup Intro VO: Tom Zahariou  Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett and Jim Cruse Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper   Managing Producer: Sam CavanaghJoin The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A list-n-a-production. Get I-Legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Auntie Donna podcast. This week we decked the studio with Bells and Holly for Mrs. Claus, who made a long-awaited return to the podcast so she could set the record straight on their polyamorous relationship. We stand the Claus. This time, without her lawyer present. Remember, if you want to get access to bonus episodes and the video versions of the podcast, head over to rncdonnaclub.com.

Welcome to Christmas with Broden Kelly. We hope you enjoy the mother working hard. Welcome to Christmas with Broden Kelly, the Antidona podcast, where we talk Christmas and have guests about Christmas. A few years ago on the Antidona podcast, Mark Sik, by the way, or is dead. A few years ago, we interviewed the matriarch of the Christmas family, the Claus family, we interviewed Mrs. Claus, we interviewed and got into details on the sorted life of the Claus family, their sexual arousal, what gets them off. Also the business. And the business of running the North Pole, joining us again

today is Mrs. Claus. Hello. Get a cunt. My name is Mrs. Claus. I am the second wife of Santa Claus for a visual. If you are just listening, you don't get the visual. I look like the Mrs. Claus you imagine the, the poorly older lady with the, the short cut white hair. Yeah. We're in Christmas too. You just called me a cunt, just sort of under your breath. No, I said get a cunt. All right.

Yeah, you're a good cunt. But I want you to imagine the visual to put this voice to is the traditional Mrs. Clause. The first wife of Mr. Clause is not who, she was different. And joining us today, which we're very thankful for Mrs. Claus, you've brought in your husband Mr. Claus. Okay, let's play some Christmas music now for you guys for Christmasy. Yes, that would be appropriate. Oh, this is a good one. Yeah, you love this one. Don't you only buy? Yeah, it's not too bad, baby. You prefer Santa or Mr. Claus? I don't mind. I'm not really too fast about it to be honest.

Santa or Mr. Claus? I don't mind. I'm not really too fast about it, to be honest. It's fun. I like Santa because just saying Santa means I've made it to just one name. You don't need to say Santa Claus. So I feel the power when he just refer to me as Santa. Like, imagine if you were just broken.

Well, I would say I am. I am the Broden. You are the Broden. More name another Broden. I know heaps. I know all the children There's at least there's at least half a dozen. Oh, yeah. Oh, you literally do. Yeah, you know all the children Yeah, now let's get into that you know all children all children mr. Claus or Santa. Yeah How's that? I'd like to say firstly I really appreciate that you've jumped into this talking about the business and not instantly into the sex life I have with my second wife. Well, we will get there and that is all right.

That was my bad. So, you don't have to go back and listen, it was a mid-tier podcast, but last time I was on, I did reveal a little bit more than you were comfortable with. I certainly, it was a frosty week at the claws house. I got surprised. It was a surprise. Yeah. Because you're a watcher, is that right? Or the loyal watch. I see.

The Santa watches. The Santa watches. Well, and also we got in a little bit of trouble with the Polyamorous community. Community where we are a part of. Some people online. It's from a trust attack of minority like that. Some people online got a little upset with us

because clips were taken out of context. We sent on our lawyer to talk about us because clips were taken out of context. We sent on our lawyer to talk about this, but clips were taken out of context. We discussed not just aspects of our polyamorous lifestyle, but also our swinging lifestyle, also our cuck lifestyle. And by we, of course, I mean, just you, I wasn't here. Yeah, I got it.

I got it. I'd like it to be known now. I had no intention, no intention of telling the world that I cock off. I had no intention. And you've sort of just gone public with that Mrs. Claus. It's a podcast. Yeah, but I don't know you're talking.

The reputation I've built for myself, there was no space in that for people to know about the size of my dick. Well, you are not unhappy with the fact that people know you've got to show it. Which, for the record for any new listeners, can you describe the shape and size of your penis? Uh, it's not long, but it's thick. Ha!

Santa Claus. Yeah, yeah, your husband. My husband, Santa Claus, that was Santa Claus speaking there, describing his own penis. It's not long,ender Claus speaking there, describing his own deades. It's not long but it's that, which is actually more important. Can you ever say it through your soft-sad appearance? Yes, if I'm free-balling. I'm sorry, I got him.

I don't usually do that. Never out, like, never out. No, no, not ever in the house. Yeah, but I play tennis. I love it. Now you guys are... Now you guys are promoting your upcoming Christmas period where you're delivering presents and treats to all the we're on our promo tour Yeah, the good boys and girls. Yeah, and thank God, you know, thank God Saga after the AMTP tea What is that what does that have to do with anything that you do?

Well, we're covered by Saga. Yes, of it. I thought you'd be in the freight union or something like that. You would think, but this is the pub for the public purposes of what we do. It was a little conflicting, you know. Sorry, to be clear, we are part of the AMTP. TTP. So you are a film studio or you are upset

with the actors' striking. We have money in it. Yes, of course. Yeah, we were in it. We were in furiating. We were in with the actors. We have money in it. Yes, of course. Yeah, we were in it. We were in furiating. Santa went in, it was Santa, Zezlov.

And a bunch of TikTok writers that were like, oh, now I'm in. Yeah, I got. I got. And they sat down, they sat down across from the actors. And you were the one that's, I was so proud of you for saying this honeybanks. You're just like, you need to be realistic

with your demands. Yeah. Said to close with a big big show. I'm not all I went in there and I said I'm not saying that we don't appreciate you. I'm saying that maybe you're getting a bit big for your boots. Yeah. Is what I said. And then I put my, and then I put my Santa boots on the desk because I own a joint. Why, why are you? Yeah. Surely, don't you just make as a family? I'm referring to both of you as the, you know, I'm trying not to just say the man of the family is the one who runs.

Oh, I'm under, look, the business was going when I came on board. Sure, it was making millions, not billions. Yeah. I think I helped it out a little bit. I brought in some of my investors, isn't it? But I'm happy to say this is, you know, creative, chief creative. It is a male run operation. It's a style right here.

I just held with the books. It's unfortunate for gender equality that I am the face of Christmas as a man with a big dick. Well, you said it wasn't, well. It's normal length. It's not, I like it. By big, I mean thick. It's quite thick. I've not brought it up twice. By big I mean thick. It's quite thick.

I've not brought it up twice. You've, you've brought it up. When you wrap your hand around my dick, your middle finger and your thumb won't meet. It's meaty. I have a meaty cock. Sorry to say that again soon to Cork. I have.

And can you say your name when you? I Santa Corks Claus having meaty cock. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you represented in a film strike? Why? You ever get DVDs for Christmas? Yeah. We all had a copy of Miracle on 34th Street.

I was in that. Well, I haven't got a DVD. Most people wouldn't get DVDs for Christmas for at least 15 years. You ever get a little Netflix card. Give me a maybe. Yep, they're quite popular, not as popular as we would think. So your only connection to the film is because

sometimes films in some way or another will be given as a gift. I have just realized in this moment that Netflix gift cards will pay for your subscription to Netflix. I always wondered what they were, but they pay for your... And that's why he needs me. Yeah, Mrs. Puller. That's, you know...

When I've gone to Woolies, when I go to Woolies to do my weekly shop, because I'm just like everyone else. You go to Woolies? Yeah, I'm just like everyone else. Is there a Woolies in the North Pole or are you using your soups? Zero Woolies in the North Pole. It depends. There are two Woolies. I really like the North Pole Woolies, using your soup? Zero woolly's in the North Pole. It depends, there are two woolly, I really like the North Pole woolly's,

but the woolly's in Brunswick that isn't Barclays Square is a really good woolly's. So sometimes I go to Brunswick. Woolly's not a victorious. Yeah, so sometimes the North Pole wants fine for your basics, but when I want a really good rain. What's the difference between a good woolly's and a bad woolly's?

If they have coconut yogurt, if they have the good, the good virus soy, new oat yoghurt, that's a good woolly's. Not all woolly stock that. Also like veggie burgers that aren't just sweet potato. Are you vegetarian or vegan or? No, I just dabble. We're trying the CSIRO diet.

Yeah, but we do meat free Monday. We do meat free Mondays at the top. Yeah, we do meet free Mondays. Yeah. And we do with the CSI RO diet. Yeah. What's CSI RO diet? It's like just a high protein diet that we're trying out and we thought, you know, CSI RO. Leafy greens. And they're name on it. Could be worth, you know, fish and greens. Fish and greens. Okay. Yeah. So you're going back. So you don't do calls? No, I'm a Woolies boy. Yeah. Which is interesting because I was raised in calls.

Like where I grew up in Hobart. Which is where I grew up. Stances from Hobart. Yeah, I grew up in Hobart, a really beautiful town, Sandy Bay in Hobart. That was Sandy Bay. I've always thought in all the canon of Santa St. Nicholas, you always been from sort of Nordic, that the Scandinavia.

New would think. I actually spent a good, a good six years of my childhood. You do have Scandi Heritage though, yeah? I do Denmark. My family is from Copenhagen and runners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both my, both my parents, this is crazy.

Both my grandfather's either side One hundred percent Danish pure wedding such an in depth character like oddness crazy, isn't it? It's almost like you just drawing from your I don't want to Assume me, but it's like you just drawing from your own but no, this is a really well-rounded. I didn't know so centers from home But always sent me back. I wouldn't say that's up-sant at my, I feel like I am Tasmanian or Taswegian. I lived there for six years, but that was cold. So I was raised in a cold family.

Do you have an opinion on the stadium and the AFL putting their stamp on the new valley? I don't have time for that. I'm up North Pole making presents. Okay, my bad. Officially though, yes, we are okay with it. We think it'll be good for business. Are you from Tazzy?

Where are you from? No, but I mean, obviously they consulted us. Where are you from? Where am I from? Yeah. Originally I'm from Montana. Yeah. Yeah.

I moved to LA in the late 70s, so I wanted to be an actress. Yeah. And that wasn't really working out for me by the late 80s, I think. In a different life you could have been an actress. That's true, said to Claus, but. You've been, instead, you found yourself crushing the industry

from which you wanted to. Well, much like Princess Mary, who fell in love with the Prince. From Tazzy. Yeah, Mrs. Claus fell in love with Santana. That's a commitment. We met on an island, an exclusive island for rich people. Are you also like Markle as well? She was in suits? Yeah, yeah, about a couple of days of our lives.

I was not as big as Markle. Let me tell you that much. Markle was on the cruise though. Had you laid your eyes on me on that cruise? Do you want to tell a story, honey? Straight up, I'm a tit man. Yeah. I'm a tit Santa.

Let it be known now. Santa, I like both. Yeah. Right? I also like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I prefer the Stones. Doesn't mean I can't like, but I love an ass. But I, Santa, Santa Claus, I'm a tit man.

And I wasn't dressing like I dress now, you know. I was, I was, you're 86 or how old are you? I, yeah, well you kinda, yeah, to eight stops being a thing. Yeah, no, I was wearing, I remember I was wearing a beautiful Versace dress, red, and I would, my puppies were out that night. Yeah, you've got to know this about Mrs. Claus. She's Bucksum.

Yeah, she's been Bucksum since day one. You have back issues or not since I've moved the claws magic. No, no, that stuff matters. It doesn't matter at all. You're just always jolly. And what is in the Santa Claus? Yes, with the two. That is just full cannon. No, no, you're just always jolly. And what is in the Santa Claus? Yes, with that too.

That is just full canon. No, no, no, that wouldn't happen. I wouldn't worry, there's a different thing. That's not how it works. If you were to pass, if you were to pass, what would be the lineage to the next Santa with there be no Santa or are you infinite? I don't pass.

Firstly, I won't, I mean, for that. So I'm not going, that's not going to happen. So there's never going to be that issue. So if people ever watch that and go, oh God, it's gonna be Tim Allen on the room. That's fantasy. Yeah, I Santa with my big fat dick. I'm infinite. Yeah That's life. Okay, so you've been Santa for as long as time has existed or since the notion of a Santa Claus was first conjured. From the concept, brother. Yeah, yeah.

From the fun concept. And is your inception or your creation from a thought or from human creation? From a thought. Yeah. Can I say something, man? And correct me if I'm wrong. My understanding has always been from the moment that thought was had, Santa always was. Yes. And fully formed. So, wasn't, the moment that thought was had, Santa always was.

Yes, and fully formed. So, wasn't, but then the thought was had. On the money. On the money. I love a smart woman. You know, I, and I, well after that night, I was like, I must have him. And I, I do my rest night. After what night?

The night on the boat. Oh, sorry going back to the night on the cruise. The night on the cruise. We don't have to go into details. I've gotten in trouble for that before. I'd like it to be, again, I think it's important to address that when you were on this podcast last time and you did discuss our sex life.

And thanks for choosing the antidone and podcast, I should say. For those, we could be on Rogan. I know you could, yeah. And after this, we've got a hefty shopping center schedule. Hang on. That's how it works. Yeah.

That's how you get all the presents. You just go to Chadston, you go. No, I've got no, you silly man. We've got like, I'm so sorry. I have to meet people. Oh, you go. You are all the shopping center centers. Yeah.

Well, no, there's not all the shopping centers. I like you. Yeah. There's my husband Okay, you are Shopping center and you see a Santa that is me the Santa who loves the titties With a fat dick from Hobart, okay, so going forward. I know that Every time you see when you're there at this shop when you all think of that

But when you're there at the shop, it's that of that. But when you're there at the shop, it's that center cause there's no other centers at any other shop. No other shops. Really? Yeah, that David Joed Santa is also the center that you see at Northland in the food court handing out and kicking out. While you're at David Joed, there's no center at Northland.

None. And if you ask anyone, they'll lie to you, but that's the truth. And what is that schedule look like? Is that done through a, do you have like my tourbook app on your phone or how are you getting from these locations to location? Oh, I haven't had to worry about that kind of shit.

I have people who deal with that stuff for me. What do you mean? I have a PA. Talk me through what you do though. What? Talk me through what you do. I hire the PA. Yeah, you hire the PA, do you?

Oh, sorry, honey. Okay. No, but okay. So you wake up on and you go, today I'm doing Meat and Kids. Yeah. What do you call it? Meat and Kids.

I call it work. It's a job. Okay, but I call today podcasting, but then tomorrow, sketch writing. Oh, I hit Meat and Kids. Yeah, what I call it. Okay, you have a meet and kid day. What do you do?

I luckily have not had to handle any administrative tasks for a very long time. I'm not talking, I'm talking, I'm talking, you. Yeah, you, oh my God, I was shocking. You were shocking. I was shocking. And that was well before any kind of like ADHD diagnosis could have, I was just like, why can't I handle emails?

Yeah, and I remember that, I remember, remember and I said have you thought about ADHD? I said that to him and you know, but what do you mean? I don't have that and then yeah anyway So then my beautiful wife came along. Yeah, and she now handles all of that stuff for me So I wake up in the morning and she's just like honey today. You've got Aunty Donna pod then we've got a higher we've lost 10 elves, they've all gone on like annual leave, awful time, it's blackout period, right? Yeah, if an elf chooses to go off this week, it's annoying, but I like to think that we're nice bosses. Well, you were just talking about crushing the actors in you. I also fuck them, right? We fuck them.

But I want to be very clear. I want to say here right now We have never had a strike in our entire time, but that doesn't mean that the elves have never struck. Yeah But that doesn't mean that you're a good workplace. Well, I mean, I think they get the message when we crush other unions Yeah, we are apart so sure the actors union that was it. We don't have a very high turnover rate I want to make that really clear at all. At all. We have, like just, I think last month, we had like 12 long service leave that we had to put in, you had to put in.

That's right. Well, no, well, I, look, I think thank you for thinking that's, I organize the people that organize the stuff. It's not like I'm in the day to day anymore either. I'm an older woman, I, you know, I, I, I, I, I, and 12 long service leave in a month, that means people are sticking around.

We do not have a high turnover rate. Granted, not a lot of job opportunities in the North Pole. No, no. But we have Christmas parties. I send out weekly emails saying, I think you're doing a great job to each, well, I don't, I hire someone to do that. Yeah, and someone does that, but you'll sign it.

Yeah, I have really lovely like parties at my beach house. We're sure beach. We did a thing recently. We did a thing recently, where we just said, you know, we just sent out, we picked it random, 50 of the elves. And we all just went on a cruise. Because we love a cruise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've made that, we've we all just went on a cruise. We all went on a cruise. Because we love a cruise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've made that, we've established. You fucked on a cruise. We met on a cruise. We met on a cruise. He was still married at the time. We did not fuck on that cruise. We don't really talk about that,

but I was married when we met. We met. We met each other. We were friends. Yeah. There was something like, we were friends. There was a connection that was it

I thought it could be platonic, but it ended up being more, but I'd like it to be noted. I was divorced This feels like separated. He was separated before we ever Anything happened. This feels like the Louis through episode where he talks to Rita Orin and Tyka with tea. Yeah Yeah, what are you saying here? That's, I'm just, it reminds me of that. We met on a cruise. Yeah. We spent the whole night in his cabin talking, connecting,

learning about business and the business of the North Pole. Hunch sent. He separated from his wife. I didn't even think of you that way. It was my, I didn't even think of you that way. I accept it. I accept you. I believe you. You know?

I have my previous marriage ended two years before it ended. Do you know what I meant? Yeah, absolutely. Like, it was over before it was over. So how old was your ex-wife? 38 when we broke up. Yeah, and how old were you when you met? How old was I?

When I met him. I was 27. Yeah, I was 27. He was 46. Yeah, I was 27. He was 460. Yeah, I mean, like, it was a little bit. It was a little bit, you know. But that's why we were just friends. 27 is beyond the point of 25.

And that's what really matters. We were friends at first and then it was, God, it was like three months later that you mentioned that you were separated. Well, we just went out for a dinner we just went out for a dinner as friends. As friends. As friends. And like on street.

Like on street. And they opened. Yeah. We were in Melbourne at the time. Yeah. Yeah. He was doing, he was talking the government at the time. We went to Gemma's, Niochi and pastaba.

Getting a new, because the government pays for the centre. That's how we fill out money. Yeah, we talked about it in the last broadcast. And you were negotiating a new deal. Because when was this? This was 84. It's three, four. So who was the prime minister in 84?

Orc. Orc. So you were talking to Hawks, people that were not there. Could have been men'sies. Yeah, maybe I don't know. No, not men'sies. This was the one before Hawk. He was, it was, it went golf.

Dark and dark. And then it was the liberal guy who was pretty cool. I don't do politics. Yeah, we don't really do politics. We deal with them. Yeah. But I don't, not anymore. I mean, that's people.

How do you make the gifts? I have people to do that. The elves make them. They make the gifts. And has that changed the process of that, I'm genuinely interested in this, has the process changed in that from, you know, little rocking wooden horse,

which is what you usually see. I mean, you put that in into the media is that's what you're making. The rocking horse. To a fucking PlayStation 5, a... Yeah, well technology has changed the world. So we had to adjust. Do you have any...

I mean, you held onto the rocking horses for a lot longer than... We'd be surprised how many we still make. That's the thing that's crazy. Why? Why? They look really good on Instagram, for influencers, like those beige babies that you buy, like all brown stuff for.

Bage babies? Yeah, they only have wooden toys and they only wear, like, neutrals. You know, those kids? Yeah, okay. They are all getting the wooden rocking horses. Do you know how good they look in a post? They look so much better than an Xbox.

We had Abby Chatfield's people reach out to us. You were on the same podcast, and I'm just saying, saying, you know, would you be interested in doing like a rocking horse thing? And we couldn't do it at the time. I think that she is amazing. We love her.

We're listening. What an incredible, like, smart businesswoman. Yeah, I love her. Yeah, I love Abby Chappell. I've not met her. Would love to. Yeah. You reckon you could organize a...

No, I don't know. I don't know. We're sort of brought in and we do this bullshit. But you don't know. Like, we bring height and character. I would love to meet her. Have you met her? No, I'm not met her. Have you met her We bring it in. I would love to be a... Have you met her? No, I'm not met her.

Have you met her? No. Okay. I would love to meet you. Don't know. Who do you know in the world? Because we want to move more into... We're more in distribution with films.

I'm a TV. We are moving into production. I'd look. I don't know that many people. Scoop. Scoop. There are very, very light chats. Nothing's been seen.

Nothing is seen. I'm probably going to be in trouble for this. Have you seen The Oz Borns? Yes. We're light chats. Nothing's been seen. So, how are we going to be in trouble for this? Have you seen the Osborne's? Yes. With, we're in chats. Talking about it. About maybe something to do with our family, how our business operates. That's actually a phenomenal idea.

I've shared Osborne's type. This is my husband's. And you do that as a fictional thing? No, that's real. We get cameras it's real, we get cameras in. Yeah, we'll get cameras in. Oh, you can sure, real. But I don't think I'd let him in the bedroom though. Well, you kinda did last time you're home, you know.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You kinda bloody did last time. I wanna talk about that. So last time you came on and we're pretty open with sort of the, and vivid, and this is not a podcast for that, to be honest, this is a podcast for like, height and silly characters. We do a timeout thing, we do, like, we'll do, like just, it's Melbourne, this is a podcast for high-tensily characters. We do a timeout thing. We do like, we'll do like just, it's Melbourne,

a Melbourne centric alternative improv comedy podcast by three boys in their 30s. You came on and just sort of opened a floodgate about sexuality, about the details of it. I was surprised she did it, but after we've had a conversation, see the thing is, the day she came on the pod, we've had a fight the night earlier and I think she was a bit bitter and she was like, I don't care what he has to say. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. So we had a little bit of a tiff, nothing crazy, just a little tiff. Just a bit of it.

Is there a core detail for anyone who didn't listen, what are the core things you said a year or two years ago? I think the biggest thing was that we're Polly. And I also conflated Polly Amory with the fact we're also swingers, Sandra's also a cuck. And that wasn't really my thing to share. And it's really important, hey, it's really important to know on behalf of our community that not all Polly people

are cucks or swingers. Yes. The amount, there are so many different parts you can take down polyamory. That's the one we have chosen. Now, I talked that length about how I would go to the bars of the North Pole, the bars that we run. So we have like communities and everything. I would talk about how I would go to the bars.

I would flirt with them, pick up different holes, bring them to the house. They would sign a, the EA would get them to sign a non-disclosure agreement. We would come up to a large bedroom made of jid-jabredic candy canes and I would make love to the owls while sand to sat in the corner. Have they made love in a room made of sweeties? No. Do you know how hard it is to maintain that? How much money it costs?

Well, I imagine incredibly hard, but... Have you ever fucked on a ball ball of chocolate chocolate yes it's good yeah my question to you being mr. Claus and please try me any moment no no no please I really love it when you have your moment it's nice but I did have to sit you down and say just so you know this just happened there's a podcast how many I don't know this is what happened she came home she came home from after doing her podcast and she came home And because we'd had the tiff tonight earlier, I'd ordered her favorite Chinese. And I'd let some and I'm from the local. I like. I've been ho Chinese. He's the best. It still is the best. I always get it. It's the best. I've been ho Chinese

restaurant. I ordered some Chinese from there. And I'm like, look, I'm really sorry because we'd had the tip the night earlier. And then we made up. We made love. We made love. Just us. Yeah. Which is really, like, we still do. I want to make that really clear as well. Yeah, you fucked after a big belly of Chinese food. Pretty Chinese. We reheated. Chinese reheats fine. You bought new Chinese free rolls. Yeah, we we had the discussion while eating the appetizer the money bags I had two chicken

Sartes and I'd add a sesame prawn because they are so deeply that's quite a lot of food now that we're getting The platter yeah, we got them we got the appetizers and while we ate the appetizers We spoke about the tip and we made up then we made love and then while we were reheating the Chinese Was this the plan initially to do this or was it? No, I just wanted to apologize because we'd had the tip and I don't like fighting with my wife I don't like fighting with my wife So while we were reheating the Chinese that is when She very she visually said,

I think I've got to tell you something. Oh, you love, thank you. And then he said, I want you to know that on the anti-donna podcast, I told the world that we're poly. So you hadn't heard the podcast. Well, I wasn't out. I was an out. So you forgave her before.

You were banking them. Yeah, we were banking them. Oh, yeah. But you hadn't heard that podcast and you forgave her. I love her. Thank you. Thank you, sweetie. And so you then, so you rooted?

Yeah. And then you went back to the Chinese. I'd like to be knowing that we rooted before I knew that you dove all the way all the way. I would be hard to get it up and up. Well that's right, that's what I'm curious about. I can though. I can get it up on Easter.

He's so old that he can purerize, get it up. I don't know how it out, no pills. Well you're not, no pills. Your magic, my question is when you were, any time, you just say get it up, he's, it's, it's, it's, it's, no, no, no, no, no, I want to hold on. I never use magic to get it up. He's magic to get it up.

I, no, no, no pills. Santa does not take pills, said that does not use magic. I just get it up. I just get it up. I can to get it up. I see. It's my egg raw. No, no pills. Santa does not take pills, said that does not use magic. Santa just gets it up. It always rock, huh? I can just get it up. You like the Hulk, you're always mad. I can do it whenever I need to. It's great.

Anyway. Is that just because you stay healthy, you stay fit or is that just a... Absolutely. You have a strong libido, go to weed. It could be genetics. I don't know. I've just never had a problem.

Do you have genetics? You were conjured out of a thought. Ever. Do you have genetics? You were conjured out of a thought. A good point. Great point. My question is to that is when you were conjured by kind of out of the magic of childhood glee and joy. And I'm curious about your connection

to Christ and the Catholic church in Christ. Wee. You know what I'm saying there? Well, I really want to go there. Well, I don't have to. But my question is when you were created, were you created with, I guess, all of the cucking and the swinging, was that all part of the canon,

or is this something you've explored and found that you respond to over centuries? It just, it came so naturally that it feels embedded. It's the natural way, my opinion. You're doing this before 1950? No, no. This was something, I mean, unless you've got something that's only you.

No, no, no, no. It was something I'd always wanted. My first wife was not interested. So, Amber, I was a lawyer. Who was that? Rhonda Birchmore. It was your first. My first wife.

She's not Polly. Legs for days. Yeah, she, great legs. Excellent legs. I just did a burp, I'm so sorry. No, that's okay. I would like to make it very clear that in saying Ronda Birchmauer's name, I am not suggesting that Ronda Birchmauer was Polly,

because she was not... She was not Polly. Or if she was, it's not you're not going public with that on this. No, no. So yeah, it's not you're not going public with that on this. No. So yeah, I would I've always had the I was like I've always felt so I'd like to make it very very clear that the kind of poly I am and we've had many chats about this. We talked about that. It's the kind that I can have multiple Romantic relationships. It's not just about sex. It is possible to have romantic feelings for multiple people. Now, I brought this to my wife

and she never thought of a very sexual person, very sexual. Mrs. Claus is very sexual. And we've done some things together like we've done it outside, we've been to adult cinemas. We've explored spanking, fluffy cuffs, but- Restraints. But I think our BDS, well we'll talk about the BDS same stuff later. Yeah.

So yeah, I'd like to make that very, very clear. But she'd never explored multiple people. And I told her about, she's like, very clear. But she'd never explored multiple people. And I told her about you, that hold on. I don't like the idea that you could love someone other than me. Lindsey, can you just bring back the Christmas music and you just continue? Yeah, sure.

So I say to her, honey, the concept of polyamory is like, you know, I love you. I love you so much. You're so important to me. It's just that I think it's human nature to love other people as well. I can't stop myself from looking at other people on the street and go, wow, I think I'm can make an emotional connection with you. She was like, I can understand the one to fuck other people.

I can understand the one to fuck outside of our relationship center. What I don't understand is romance. Then it was like two, three years of exploration. And what we realized works best for us. For us. And this is just for us. You know, that's the thing. It's different for every person that's why I communicate. The only common factor is communication. Communication, right? For us.

For us. It doesn't go beyond sexual. We tried it, I had a girlfriend for a while, I had a girlfriend for a bit. Okay, at the first time you said this publicly, Santa? Yes. She tried to release it. She tried to release it, but... When she was beautiful, she was beautiful.

She was lovely, I'm nothing bad to say about that. I was friends with her, We would catch up for drinks. It was actually amazing. We would, and you know, I would talk to her, I'd say, oh, you know, when he does this, you know, when he does that. And we would joke about it. It was really fun, but, but I think it's fair to say.

This is a huge scoop for us, on this podcast. It's fair to say, Mrs. Claus struggled when I'd be like, oh, it's a Thursday night, and I'm going to the movies with my girlfriend when Mrs. Claus was like, oh I was thinking maybe you and I could do a fun activity. Like ceramic painting or like on a date, but I'd already organized it with my girlfriend.

You know, it's that sort of thing of like, I took to Polly Amory and swinging, I, Mrs. Claus. Just that song again, Lindsey B. Gray. I'm Mrs. Claus and I took to Polly Amory and swinging I, Mrs. Claus. Just that song again, Lindsey Begray. I'm Mrs. Claus and I took to Polly Amory like a duck to water. I could get on an app, find myself a man, go around to his house, we could have two hours

of raw and bridled passion. Please note that I'm fine with this, but genuine, I'm, it's beautiful. And it's what she needs. I mean, and Santa's got a bad back. I don't buy it. There are some things I can't do now. You know?

So I buy it. I give it a younger, strong, virile man. I was with a man, he was a gymnast, all right. And he did things to me. I, Mrs. Claus was twisted around like a pretzel. Yeah. But, here's what happens. I don't go to sleep with them.

I never have. I go, thank you very much. That was fine. I give them a little kiss and I go right on home. Comes home to me. And I just never, it's so funny. I am happy for Santa to get pegged. Mm-hmm.

By a dominatrix. You ever been pegged? No, no, I haven't. Well, Santa Claus to get pegged. Mm-hmm. Hey, uh, by a dominatrix. You ever been pegged? No, no I haven't. Well Santa Claus has been pegged. Yeah, try it. You're very open, you're very open about this. About pegging, yeah. I think there's such a taboo.

And this is only haven't in the last two years. He didn't pegged. It's, no, I will say that I feel like as time progresses, the younger generations are far more open to pegging. But I think the older generations try it. I'm not trying. It's not for me. I tried it.

We got it in. I've missed as close. Got it. The little thing. I just try to. I understand. You don't need to go in here. Right, I pegged.

I'm just going to sit there. With a six inch, which is like, that's not bad. A six inch. Tough of sudden. I think we've covered it. You don't want us to talk about the pegging anymore? No. But I just want to say, I'm fine with that.

Yeah, no, I got it. But going and seeing a movie, going for a coffee date, that was her thing. And that is for her. She gets that part of me. I get it sent. And you know what's amazing is I was so upset. Yes, I understand and I sat

Yeah, and I sat down and I and and I just said this isn't for me and you were like that You're like well, then I won't do it because that's love and that's love and that's Christmas again Holly Amory is about communication and she told me what she needed all right All right, yeah, hey, and I said look we don't need to pursue romantic relationships Got it, but I got a fuck some other people. Yeah, I said and Mrs. Claus I've got it. We do BDSM stuff. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we do primal. Yeah, I can't go. We do Play no, Mrs. Claus. Yeah, we do all that stuff. We're crazy Yeah, you should say we're Santa Mrs. Claus. What's a couple hours between us?

In the Christmas period you get a lot of milk and cookies as treats in all the houses. What are you asking for this year? Oh, that's a lovely question. What are we asking for? Do you don't go on the sleigh though? Do you, is that a you thing? What's that?

She doesn't come on the sleigh. No, no, no, no. But what you tell, are you, uh, She checks in though, because I've got, she's the reindeer love her. Like, we got the reindeer together as a couple, but it was infuriating. I paid for the reindeer. I train. I took the reindeer to training. And yet the reindeer every time they printed on their obsessed with it. So while we're out on Christmas Eve delivering the presents. out on Christmas Eve delivering the presents. Texting. Oh, can you send me a photo of comment?

What's comment doing? Oh, can you send me a photo of comment? Dasha was stressed. Dasha was anxious. Did you give Dasha his pro-zac today? Yeah. Yeah, of course, I have to take photos. Yeah.

And oh, if they're napping, oh, did me a photo. They're so cute when they nap. Oh fuck. So we're all from a constant communication. Yeah, be with any biscuits in particular or... Um, I like a Scotch finger. Yeah. Okay, you heard of here from Santa.

Scotch fingers, kiddies. Something in the last as well. He's not eating all the cookies. It brings a lot of money. I do. Okay, so in like a travel... Is it locked? Something with a good... Yeah, if you can supply the ziplock and something with like a lot of money. Oh, okay, so it's in like a travel. Is it locked? Yeah, if you can supply the zip locks

and something with like a bit of shelf lock. And how much, how many biscuits on the night of Christmas are you eating? No, like a few. Quite few. I mean, it's a long night, I'd say two an hour. It's like a sugar, like a gatorade, but I have cookies, you know.

It's a matter of only like 50 biscuits. Yeah, but all the other ones, you know. So you're leaving a lot, you're taking the rest of them. Just a bite. And it also makes for a great Instagram the next day. It's like, oh Santa came to a bite. Yeah. Oh, it's nice.

So it's like one bite of a cake. The reindeer will eat all the carrots though. Yeah. They can put away a lot of carrots. Now we heard something, bro, I don't know, I had to turn it back on you. But we heard something that you don't believe in Santa Claus. No, I don't.

When I did when I was a lad, but I lost the magic when I got into big business and sort of finances. Well, maybe... That's depressing. Maybe, look, it's here. Oh, well, it's changed for me. That's a beautiful moment, is it? Yeah.

Because you didn't believe in Santa anymore. But now I do again. Neither did Mara Wilson in the Miracle on 34th Street, but I convinced her yeah And this is not I don't want you to think this is Where I don't want you to think this is going where you think it's going. It's more just I'm curious and I'd love to talk about it with you If but are you that's really generous and nice. I have a think about it. No, I'm just I haven't heard what you have to say. I know what's going on. But you haven't heard what she's had to say.

Are you, would you ever be interested in it's sort of a poly-everything? At this point in my life, it's not something I'm looking to do, but I appreciate you being so. Oh, no, no, we're not. We're not. This is not. But I will like, we're not in any way, it's all interesting. We're not approaching this.

But I would like to say, you seem incredibly closed off to the concept, if anything kind of rude about it. No, I'm not being rude. It's more a point of, is this the right place to talk about it? And I'm like, most people who are interested in what you have to say under your children. What? What children like?

This is not a children's podcast. No, but we might attract. Like the Wiggles were on today's show that kids might watch, you know what I mean? But hold on, you think I'm on the stage at Carls by Candlelight with the Wiggles. I'm not like, hey, I like to fucking get pegged. I say that stuff when I come on an adult podcast for adults. Don't even try and suggest.

Don't you dare, I'm sorry. I'm never, never, never. I would ever discuss my sex life with when performing with the Wiggles, a children, how dare you? I'm sorry. No, can you listen to me right now, all right? I can tell you can say stuff about me

and you have, I wanna say, since I came on the podcast, okay, it's getting, in good faith, I talked about my relationship. Yeah. I opened up about my relationship in good faith And you have dragged me through the mud. You have like clips out of context on your Instagram Yeah, and and and and that's fine. I've taken that but when you when you come for my husband I will fucking end you bitch. Okay, you understand? I will end you do not come for my husband

I'm sorry about his work. I'm sorry when he works. not come for my husband. I'm sorry about his work I'm sorry when he works. It's a different thing. I'm a professional I am a professional and we had a disc... before we When she said they've asked me back They've asked me back and she started to weep because of the fucking things you said about my life No, just it's okay. Don't stress. I smell gingerbread. The fuck you smell that? Yeah, we got some gingerbread in your bag. Yeah, give it away to the people that listen up. The people that I'm seeing people. Anyway, I heard the things you said about my wife. She came

to weeping. They want me to go back and I said, well, what do you want to? And she's like, it's really good for promotion. It's become a very popular podcast. And I said, do you want me to come with you? And she said, yes. And I said, do you want me to come with you? And she said, yes. And I said, I'm gonna fucking tear that brood and can't apart. Oh, you've been quite nice to the majority. She said, please don't. Please don't.

I said that. I said, don't do that. What point of I should become a bad guy here? As soon as you upset her, as soon as I see her get hurt. As soon as you came for my husband and his work. Wait, what was that? Okay. He has net.

He does not talk about his polyamory when he's on stage with the wiggles. He's never done. I never done. I didn't say that. I said, my audience that I'm you're bringing here will predominantly be children. And I have reservations about whether that is you being so open and public is to the benefit of this part or to their ears or this is an adult podcast are you saying that this up you don't think I could pull up

some shit that you've said in the last few years that wouldn't be appropriate for children I agree I agree that's why this podcast isn't for children we live lives outside of our work you saying we can't yeah you saying I can't make love to a couple of elves while my husband sends a course to. What happens in our bedroom is our business. Now, yes, yes, she came on here and she discussed it with you. Yeah. But that's because she was creating an open environment

around our community. Okay. And you created an environment where I thought it was okay to talk about. And you came for my fucking wife You fucking came yeah for my wife. Yeah. Yeah. How did you and I said I'm sorry about that now Yeah, but I appreciate you coming back you didn't say whether you're open to not that we would do No, I don't want to we would net we don't want to do that. That's not I said twice. Yeah, not at the moment

Thank you. Would you come around for board games? Yeah, we do board games Yeah, we have a couple of drinks. We do I have the most amazing board game selection by the way Yeah, that doesn't surprise us. We just got a little we just got a little Bar put into the to the lounge. I'm busy at the moment very busy, but I'll make some time I'll make some cocktails I'll make cocktails. I fucking dare you to try and find a board game that I don't have Can't do you have scatigories? Absolutely. Pictionary. I'm running out of time. Bring you miss so come around I'll make cocktails and we'll see what happens. She makes a delicious to kill a sunrise. Thanks for coming in the course See what happens. Hey, we're just saying in a relaxed environment couple of cocktails a board game

We'll see what happened because family. Thank you so much for coming in Catch these guys on December 25th your house Carol's my candle I Might make a little appearance but it's Northland Chadstone high point Eastland Eastland all the Westfields you got to deal with the Westfields and if you're really lucky at your local butcher for some reason. Merry. Eaglemont butcher, they often have a lot of that. Happy Holidays.

You've been listening to the Aunty Donna Podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip-out episode brought to you by Aunty Donna Club.com. See you next week!