Aunty Donna Podcast - The Moan & Groan Phantom Zone Zone

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

An attempt at Kris Kringle with Tom. LINKS  Our DREM World Tour has started! Buy tickets here https://tour.auntydonna.com/ Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig  Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/  Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All new live show, DREM, touring the globe, get tickets at Auntie Donna.com. A listener production. Welcome to the worst episode we ever make, the first attempt. No, actually, just us doing Chris Kringle. We hope you enjoy it. If you want to see the visuals of this, because some fuckheads keep bringing up the visuals, head to the Auntie Donner Club, powered by Patreon, see what the fuck the half the jokes are. I'm so sorry.

I apologize. Enjoy this episode, if possible. You listen to the honey dollar podcast. The greatest fucking podcast in the world. Broan, like attacking sometimes and guess, we hope you enjoy the motherfucking podcast. Well, well, well, it's that time of year again where we are... No, no, no, no, please.

What? I'm making sure, Broden, that what happened last year, you think I forget? You think it'd be so easy to forget 12 months on. the issues we had last time. I'm circumventing those issues this time. You sound horrible. And this time, thank you.

Thank you? Just give me. On Christmas? You're going to say that to me? Keep going. Sorry, I'm sorry. Christmas is a time of year. And those, if you can hear them, bells be chiming.

Thanks, guys. And Christmas is a time of year where we remember love. Jesus. And the fallen soldiers. And the fallen soldiers. in all the walls. In all the walls. Soldiers and walls are a bad mix.

That's like a take of the time. Especially if those walls are short. And they need to run. I beg you. Just pull off a little bit. Would you like to apologize for last year's mishap? I'm so fucking sorry. Can you explain what happened last year

for everyone at home that doesn't remember and there may be anyone at the table that's not quite clear? And to us, social media people to make your life difficult, or maybe cut two. All right, yeah. What happened last year?

What happened last year was, I was, I would say... You're still doing it. Even after I apologize. I'm not shushing you. I'm not shushing the bells. The bells are annoying. I'm going to find a nice... I need to tell the story first.

Last year, I would say I was verbally assaulted, I think, is the correct language. Yeah. Is you being funny? I don't remember what happened last year. No, no, no, no, no. Verbly assaulted. I agree. I started KK off with grand Christmas cheer

I really came in hard with a lot of energy and a lot of verve because this is my favourite thing that we do on the podcast it's a little tradition we started and they don't make any money from that anymore can we just agree what yeah what's this because they just took the sample

can we just all agree if we have bells on our heads daddy's got a headache we don't nod but yeah how I'm getting You were ring dingling in them before. Yeah, but that was, that was a concise moment. It was a controlled dingling. It was a controlled dingling. Right.

And if you're having problems controlling your dingling. And whatever sponsor we have now, whether it's Blundston Boots or Red Hot Sauce, that just goes there. Maybe we'll do a one for doodles. Now, I don't remember exactly what it was that happened last year. Yeah. But I remember feeling a similar kind of anger that I'm feeling right now towards you. Me too. What?

Towards everyone else because of the abuse I suffered. No, I just, what happened last year, bro, did? What happened? He started with great energy and I, whatever he did. Yes. I corrected him. You were rude. Too close, too far.

It was about Mike. It was about Mike technique. And did I, did I, what did I do? And Lindsay, if you've turned me down, don't you dare. Was I guilty of did I get, did I give in to peer pressure? Was I involved? Did I sit back? I think you were very on the fence.

And that angered me more towards you, I think. You can you remember? I felt more betrayed. My headphones just fell off. I should have stood up to bullies for you. Yes. Right. Now, Broden.

Broden, if you try to tease Mark while he does his introduction, I'll cut off your legs. And you need those. It's a bit of a year of cuts. stuff off with this guy. Now, we have Thomas... It paints a visceral image. Certainly does. We have Thomas Sahari Hu here.

Maybe you've been playing half sword. Zahari Who? Sahari, who? Thomas. Hi. That's who. Who we love to have. So I'm a Luddai.

I've never listened to Auntie Donah. I don't know who they are. You are Ludd, light. Yeah, whatever. I think it's LID lead. I'm not going to... You will just keep up. All right.

All right. All right. Now, I don't know who Tom is. Tell us who Tom is. Thomas Zahari Hu is Thomas Sahariu. Just some kid who went to school with Braden. He's a Greek man who has a wife and child's. What's his relevant swindana?

He makes the music. He's the music man. And what a better time to bring in the music man than on Christmas when music is a part of all our lives, or on Broadway. Brodant, you do need to keep it down. Just don't move that. I think it's me. Now, it's both of you.

As is tradition on KK, we use drawnames.com to get our... Shout out drawlnames. Shout out, shout out drawnames.com. A wonderful website. I get our data. Yes, they do. And unlike other years, this is a very particularly exciting year because I think all of us were told maybe not directly,

but I found out indirectly that we were doing this less than 24 hours ago. So a very special, KK, this year, $10 limit still. Should we go around the table? Who exceeded or went under or went over the $10 limit? What are you saying? Who?

What are you saying? Let's start with you, Brian. Did you hit that number, that $10 limit exactly nail on the head. Did you go a little bit under? Maybe $9.99, $9.95. Or let me fucking finish. I get what you're saying.

I get the concept of what you're saying. Or did you maybe spend a little more, like a little extravagant? Fuck, man. How can you spend so long explaining how money works? And then not tell them who Tom is, Mark. I did explain who Tom is. Yeah, but only after I pressed.

That's true. And like a good journalist. who works for the press you've done your job works for the press your journalist works for the press hot off the press the printing press

and then what could I fucking answer yeah I'm sorry I'm so sorry over under Tom you're forgetting one of the most important ones fuck man right on fucking hell I hate this

edging Chris Kringle I remembered on the drive here as his tradition No, he did a very thoughtful gift last year. Did he? Yeah, very thoughtful. Didn't he get you a newspaper in a car?

No, that was two years ago. I believe that was the first year. The first year, and then he made up for it with a very thoughtful gift. Right. Yeah, but this year? Remember it over there, but bought my things from a movie landmark, the Coles in Port Melbourne featuring in the classic Australian film Animal Kingdom. Wow.

But the question you were. Oh yeah, Broden, which you didn't answer at all. Well, you weren't clear with the question. Oh, I believe I was abundantly. So I bought about my thing. Yes. It was $22, but a lot of that was for me. You've got to not move your head because the jingling of your bell is giving Daddy a headache.

I understand. I'm sorry, Daddy. Daddy, Zach. Me? Daddy, Zach, I love the jingle. Me, I'm a regular Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jingle all the way. But Zach, he's more.

Santa Claus in the sense that the clause for Santa is no ring of dinglings. So more of a Tim Allen's Santa Claus. The Santa Claus. You know that, right? Yeah, because it's the pun, yeah. Yeah. The Santa Claus. Yeah.

And his Santa Claus is no dingalinging. Well, but no, I wouldn't put it in a clause. It's just right now. I have an egg right now. Next year, you can dingaling. So I don't know what I spent. I think the clause can change year to year. Are you going to go around?

I'm just saying. Are you going to go around to everyone ask if they hit the $10 mark? No, I'm good, which is you. Okay, great. Unless you really want to, unless you're... I just wanted to say, I bought this for Zach last year. The Space Book? Was that you?

That was two years ago. Was it? I hate to burst your bubble. That's bad book. Let's go through it. It's been sitting on this desk for two fucking years. We've had three incredible years. Nerf gun, two years old sitting on this table.

Nerf gun? No, that was last year. Is it fourth? Or third? This is our fourth then. Really? Yeah. A cold feet the DVD.

Two years old. Yes, I had that. What was one year old then? Last year was dog. Yeah, dog treats. Dog treats and dog piss cleaner. Last year, I believe for me was Speed Racer and the DVDs. No, that was the year before.

What was last year? What was last year? Oh, you got me some bullshit. Did I? Yeah, you got me a noodle. That's right. And I remember I ate that noodle. What did you get?

What did I get for someone? You got an Atlas, perhaps? I got you an Atlas. Because I have a son named Atlas. I went well. Was it the way of the spending limit? I increased my spending 500% last year. The darts was the very first year.

I went over because I couldn't choose. Lots of funny gifts. All right. Great. I went over by $6.50. Do you have somewhere to be, Broden? I feel like you're rushing this along when the joy. I'm going to be honest, I don't feel the Christmas magic just yet.

Is that because we're recording this in July? I know. We don't need to say what we're recording this. But I was waiting for that. Actually, it's June, so it's not even Christmas in July. It could be a bit of that. It could be Zach telling me not to dingle the bells. Yeah.

It could be you fucking going on about the price for like 10 minutes. I would argue, Broden, with a concept this thin, 10 minutes of conversation. This is more prepped than we've ever done for a podcast. Yes, that's true. That's true. You set up each gift. You take the give, you talk about the gift. That's seven minutes a piece?

You look at the list. Do you want me to go hard? Do you want to cut the fat, go hard, see how fucking long it takes us? Is that we want? Yeah. Let's do it. Broden, take your gift. Which one is it?

Quick, quick, quick. Come on. Speed it up, spit it up. No, not Broden's. Who got you what? No, Braden has to go last. Your gift. What do you mean?

No, Tom's going first. Tom's going first. Can I? Before we do, Tom, before you talk, can you trade this hat for a tie? I've already got a tie. Is that because of the ring? Oh, you've already go tight. Then take off your hat.

Same, Broden, please. Put on the ball cap on. Put on this hat. Put on the ball cap on. What's this from? That's from... Pit bull promotion. Yeah, it's from a pit bull promotion.

Nice. We're good. We're good. You look like Dr. Robotnik. Tom's got a real Dr. Robotnik. He's not doing visual jokes. That's for the... You've got to pay money to see that.

Are you talking about Eggmen? Yes, Dr. Robotnik, I believe, was his birth name. That's the name his mother gave him. Well, he became a dog. Man is what the critters and the creatures call him, the ones that he keeps prisoner. I don't know his first name. It's his villainous name. Anakin Skywalker, it's the Darth Vader to his Anakin Skywalker.

So you cutting the fat has gone well. Okay, that fucking this cunt right here started out in fat, not me. When did I add fat? You made us all change our hats. You made, you turned him into Eggman. I was not of my volition at all. You made Tom put a bald cap on. I'm here for it.

And for me to have a nose of green. tie. That was your choice. I was having to go all the way down. Anyway. Anyway, anyway. Our numbers are fucking

just plummeting. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Maybe they're up. And also, shout out. Shout out to everyone that came along to our tour. Thank you so much.

We had such a good time. We might still be on. No, no. Well, no, we might still be playing in Melbourne right now eventually. Tickets still there. Tickets still there. Yeah. Tickets available.

Come on. Thomas. I got a gift list. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't fuck this up because what is incredible out the magic of Christmas in KK is that we don't know who got who, what. And we will never know, right? And we keep it a secret.

So, Thomas, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Can I, Mark, just before you do that, and I'm sorry, bro, because I know the irony of what I'm about to say, because I did just interrupt, I just want you to know in the middle of this, where are we? where 10, 15 minutes in, I agreed that I wouldn't be neutral this time around,

that I would defend you. Yes. I'm switching sides, bro, to bully away. Great. I have your flank. Thank you. What chance do you have now? None.

But when the spirit of Christmas is inside you, whether or not you want it to be there, like you could have opted in or opted out, I think the arc of this is we find our Christmas spirit Yes, I agree And I already have mine And hopefully I can infect you all with it I've not seen that story told before

I'm going to raw dog you all with my Christmas spirit And make sure you catch it Oh my God Tom close your eyes Put out your hands Now whichever mysterious person And I think we should all make noise So Tom doesn't know

Grab Thomas's gift And pop it into his hands and no one knows who's is who keep your eyes closed Tom fucking I got it and open your eyes and

Got it's from Braden Tom for the listeners at home Yeah What do you see And what do you expect? I see a Coles bag And I reckon this person's looked at my wish list Because should I tell you what's on my wish list?

Oh yeah let's go through Thomas's wish list Because every year we get to do a wish list What's one of the great things about Draw Names, Doug? Com is you can do a wish list. Oh, and it's, I'm so sorry, it's dot com. com.com.com. So this is an Aussie venture.

It is. So that's like, that's... Or the domain of an Australian website. Well, it asked you when you sign up. So when I signed up, it says, where are you? And it chucks the dot AU on for you. Oh, right. So that you can order stuff, you know, to Australia.

I would like to meet the personal people that invented this website and keep it updated. I'd like to meet those people. Probably making good money. I reckon. Why? What I'd ask them? Data. Yeah.

And they go out to brands, I go, hey, do you want your people going to kind of, like, because if you're in this, if you're in these Chris Kringle things, I go, well, my brother-in-law has asked for exactly this thing from Amazon, I will click through and buy this immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the wish lists are very limited. The wish lists, when you search for it on the site, it only gives you a select number of brands. So there's your answer. There you go.

Find it up called it. There you go. Fairly limited. Genius. Now, I'd meet those people go. Very smart. A bit rotten. They'd be like, oh, thanks.

I'm off in my Jaguar to the Opera. Yeah. Who's just the people that started Your Name.com. Draw names. They're probably the only people who saw the Jaguar rebrand and bought a car based off of that.

I don't know if you've ever seen that. But do yourself a favour. Check out the Jaguar rebrand. Pretty crazy that we're halfway through and no one's open the fucking present. I've got a one of the list. It takes like 30. seconds that open the presents.

We've got to fluff it up. All right. So what did he ask for? What did Thomas ask for? Let's have a look at his wish list. Now, a thin list. Seven. A thin list.

The man knows what he wants. Seven gifts wish list for Tom. Can you do it as a Christmas song? As a Christmas song. Seven gifts of Tom. A wish list for Tom. Seven gifts for Tom. Seven gifts for Tom.

Tom asked for Tim Tams. Tom asked for a bluey book Tom asked for jolly ranchers Tom asked for Maltese I hate this song He asked for He asked for some glassware tumblers

Some sour coalololies I'm on your side again brother I'm on your side again brother Sing away And he asked for a massage gun A massage gun a massage gun a massage gun Turn it on Put it up your bum

A massage gun A massage gun That would do damaged the orectum. Depending on the girth of your hole. No, have you seen how rapid they are? And the strength of your whole. It's a muscle. Have you seen how fast they are?

They have low settings. No, no. But you wouldn't want to slip and accidentally turn on. They have vibrate the settings. Okay. Thomas? Yeah. I don't think what anyone's saying put a therrigan up your ass here. No, that was just in the phone Christmas song. They're not to be taken literally.

Huh? I think putting a theragon up your asshole would do severe damage. Yeah, if you were to put the, punch it in your, in your sphincter. You cannot believe everything in a Christmas song. If you saw Rudolph's nose, would you out loud say, oh, it glows? No, but I would put a thericot on my eye. Exactly, exactly.

If I saw a red and deer. We pick and choose, I think, is the part of the Christmas spirit. Right. Are you saying would, right, would Rudolph, does Rudolph like eating ass? No. What I'm saying is, you don't take every Christmas song literally, and the song goes. Why are we talking about shoving Rudolph's, knows about our art.

We're not, but we could be, and isn't that the miracle of Christmas? What's he got? So, I'm guessing, it's a bag of loose stuff in here. No, don't rush him at the present part. I was told to cut the fat that this is how you feel. This is the fat.

I think it's loose nuts. Oh, loose nuts. You think it's a bag of loose nuts? Now, are we talking almond nuts? Oh. I don't like that sound. My face. Oh, not the timetams he asked for because Tom asked for a 365 gram family pack

because he's a family man yet was given double. So I would say that's a fail. If you put this in the fridge, they're better. It's a fail. It's a double coat of timetams though. Is that not double the amount of timetam? No, double chocolate, but there's actually one less timetam in there. I counted ones.

So when you get the normal ones, there's 11, but when you get these, there's 10. Thank you, Dr. Eggman. But they don't tell you that. And are there three rows of timetams or two? two rows of Tim Tams in a family pack 365 grand. Oh, Mark, you're speaking too soon. A second Tinky.

Okay, okay. A second, chewy caramel packet of Tim Tams. Still, not as many Tim Tams as there are in a family. Wow. Fuck me, Rotten. I am such a judgmental prick and I need to slow the fuck down. What happened on the third thing?

Slow that, cunt! Oh my goodness. So there was a third packet of Tim Tams. Why? And I have fourth packet of Tempton. Tim Tams, original, and a packet of double-stuff Oreos. And what flavour of those Oreos? Not your regular Oreo cookie here.

They're Pascoil marshmallow-inspired. Marshmallow-inspired Oreo cookies. But double-coats my favourite. Caramel's my third favourite. Original's fourth, and I reckon why it's like seven to eight. It's pretty good. And may I say. What's the missing?

The Murray River salted caramel is my second favourite. You are close. Fucking, please, anyone. How long do you have to eat them? several years actually no do you the second of the 10th 2025 great well maybe we can leave

them here and enjoy them they're out of date because it's 11 we're in December right now if it's 2025 they're out of date that's a real show I'm still gonna eat them thank you who's next

anyone want to Tim Tim well I would just like to analyze I'd like to analyze the gift just for a moment because I would say this is an extraordinary and we don't know who gave you do you have maybe a git Well, we don't know. I saw who brought everyone in.

Okay. Is this a two-part episode? Fuck. Maybe KK has become a two-part episode because the joy is so overwhelming that we can't contain it in a single episode. I think that's a good thing. Oh. Okay, let me just, let me just, I'll take a step back. Yeah, I think unfortunately we're going to have to go on the two episodes.

I'm sorry, everyone. Next year I'll make sure we can. I wonder if the marshmallow I want to still vegan Can I just say No one's working together on this podcast There's a lot of I just wait the biscuits

My God Brodett you're right Brodard you're right It's happening now I got control of the steering wheel And a gun pointed at everyone And you can all back off Like I'm happy to follow you now But it's just like

You were doing a great bit And then fucking Tom just comes And starts talking about I got excited To be fair You said that thing And then I said, you're right, I was going to yes and and then talk about, I was going to yes and and talk about how that's not the spirit of Christmas.

And then you started going, don't worry, I've got a gun. But hey, maybe that makes this a two-part episode. And that's fine. It's not ideal, but it's okay. It is what it is. It is what it is. We find ourselves 20 minutes in, one present open. No one to blame.

We can check in about it for next KKK. But it is what it is. I think we've got a two-part episode. And just let us know when we hit that sweet 30-minute mark. You say Minnick? Oh, man, come on. Oh, my God, I'm dry mouth. Don't eat the biscuits right now.

Why not? I want to try. Do you reckon these are still vegan now that they've got marshmallow fluffing? Oh, the smell. Let's not get to muckbang here. Let's step away from the microphone when we chew. They can make that agreement. I'll hold off.

I'm happy to talk while the three people eat their marshmallow-flavored. You're not going to have one, King of Sweeties? I just don't want the chewing on the mic. I don't want the muck-bang of it. So we're going to take a bite, chew off mic. I thought it was Mark Bang. Yeah, probably. Yeah, probably.

Macbong sounds like your assholes dirty. That is intense. I really like it, but it's not that marshmallow-y. It's more like red velvet. Oh. No? No, that's, yeah, no, no, no. Too much for Mark.

Limited edition candies and treats. Limited edition. Limited edition. Constance. Sorry. Limited edition candies and treats. Limited edition fast foods are almost always made in the office, not in the test kitchen. And this is my opinion on that.

The way you're acting is it's Christmas Eve at Chadston. Yes, it's Trus Act. It's Chadston on Christmas Eve. This is how you're acting. This is the energy you have. And you haven't gotten a single gift for your friends or family. And you're rushing around from store to store. Dude, you need to Christmas chillax.

This feels like being. in a tornado of ADHD and I can't fucking deal with it, man. What do you think? Don't, what's the word? You've outed me. And myself. Yeah.

And him. You've diagnosed and outed everyone at this table. Not directly, but I mean, saying this is, like, I think it's a fair observation. I would like to get this. Random words and sentences just sprouted it. into four separate microphones. As people say,

it's end it's stop and then eat a fucking limited edition marshmallow Oreo is what it would feel like to be in a tornado of ADHD. So let's stop, let's breathe. This is a two-parter. Oh, okay, I accept that. Hey, I need you to be a little more idle. Mark, I'm taking charge, brother.

Once again, I'm wearing a t-shirt that says idols. No one fucking knows that, Mark. You can't just say that as a fucking. funny pun on an audio podcast and make them, you can't make that new, you can't make that new observation. Okay, time out, time out, everybody. Time out. I have my hand up.

But I timed out. Can you please ask Broden what he thought of the marshmallow stuffed Oreas? Brodham, what did you think? What did you get now? And what is your opinion? I like it. Yeah, I like it. I think it's a bit much.

Time out. Time out. Time out. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Listen to me. Listen to me.

It's a Christmas time. I'm taking charge. Give me this beat. Lindsay, how much longer on the podcast? How much longer until it's over? You've been going for 24 minutes. We've been going for 24 minutes. There's six minutes to go.

Give me three minutes of your time. Beautiful. Please. I am so willing to hand. I'm not going to let go with a gun, but I'm happy to let you have control of the throttle and not the steering. I will hand it right back to you, Mark. The throttle? whatever.

I'm just letting you adjust the throttle. I have control for three minutes. We will be coming back with a part two. The next six minutes will not be about opening presents. It will be three minutes of time for me to set the rules. And then three minutes of just getting the tone right.

Tasting the cookies. We'll talk a little bit about the cookies. We'll have some fun. We'll get in the Christmas. Christmas cheer. Then we will cut to, we'll say, we'll join you next week for KK part two. Then we will come back. We will come back in KK part two.

Mark will be in charge. Mark will be in charge. But in this three minutes, six minutes, we will have agreed on some terms and conditions for Mark's rule. Great. And if he breaks those rules, there will be a coup. Okay? And does this stand for all KK's Secret Sanders from here?

on out? No, just this one. Great. Just this one. There will also be rules for all the parties that are not Mark. The three of us will agree to roll with the punches. Who will be keeping everyone held accountable? Should it be one of us?

Democracy, democracy, my man. So it... Just the idea of democracy... At any point... Any of us... You said democracy, my man. My man.

Yeah. At any point... one of us can call mutiny on anyone. Not just the leader. It can be a mute. So if it's mutiny to the leader, it's a call for leadership but you can also call to

lock up one person if you don't feel their yes ending or embracing the spirit of Christmas well enough. You go, I charge ye. I sentence ye to the phantom zone. I sentence ye to the phantom zone.

You're right. I sent it to T. Can we get some notes, Tom? Notes. I will take your... Well, Lindsay, write the rules down, please. Lindsay? Lindsay, we got this?

Okay, so... We got both Lindsay and Tom on the rule writing. If anyone is unhappy with the leadership, I will get to your hands up, Tom. If anyone is unhappy with the leadership, they could call for mutiny. They can talk for mutiny. They could call for it. If anyone calls for mutiny, the leader has to step back. I will get to Tom's hand up.

The leader will... The leader is not allowed to talk until mutiny. has been decided or not. Okay. All right? And that has to be a unanimous vote from all three other parties. It has to be out of the three, two out of three. Two out of three.

Okay. Now, no, unanimous. Yeah. Unanimous. Also, I, what was it? Sentence Yee to the Phantom Zone? Yes. I sentence you to the Phantom Zone.

That is the call that can be made, including by the leader, against anyone who is not a leader. Again, that person is not allowed to talk during the decision-making process. if all three sentenced them to the phantom zone, they are not allowed to talk for two minutes while they think about their actions and decide how they can best enter, reenter society as a willing participant in the Christmas cheer.

Are there any other rules? I just have one question about the phantom zone. Can you moan and groan? No, no sounds at all. Really? No sounds at all. But when you return from the phantom zone, after the two minutes is elapsed,

You are given 20 seconds to talk of your experiences in the phantom zone. Everyone else will listen during that 20 seconds. Great. I would love a warning system in the phantom zone that allows for moans and groans in case you're being talked about in a negative way. And if you moan and you groan three times, you get sentenced to the phantom zone zone. We put it to a vote. Is there a moaning system in the phantom zone?

I vote no. Who agrees? No, I want a moan and groan in the phantom zone. Okay, Mark, explain the phantom zone zone rules. Mark, so if you're sentenced to the phantom zone and something is said about you that you hear from the phantom zone, and that causes you to moan or groan, you have a three moan-grown zone rule system. If you moan or groan or grown or grown more than three times, or you can get three warning. Warning one. Grown once, which is a moan.

Second warning. Third warning, moan or groan, then you are sentenced to the phantom zone zone where you must be silent for two minutes. With no, with no... Moning or growning. I'm going to add a rule. The only person that can do the warning is the person that sentenced you to the phantom zone. Yes.

Can I ask, who is, is it a gentleman's agreement on the two minute? Like, do you time yourself in the phantom zone? Yes, I believe you have to set a timer. And you have to prove, you have to show. evidence that it has been too much. When you come out of the phantom zone or the phantom zone zone, the phantom zone gets you straight back to the real world. When you come out, you have 20 seconds to describe your experience in the phantom zone zone.

But after the 20 seconds has elapsed, you then embrace the Christmas cheer back to whoever is leader. Mark, I'd like to petition to change the name of the phantom zone zone to the moan and grown zone. I just feel like that makes more sense. Can we call it the moan and grown phantom zone zone? Yes, we can. Thank you. Okay. Now, what's Tom's thing? Did you, he got an Oreo, he twisted it, he ate one side of the biscuit,

then he put that down, then he got another Oreo, he twisted it, ate one side of the biscuit, then he had two half Oreos, he put them together. So it's biscuit, cream, cream, biscuit, and then he ate it. Like a Big Mac. Is that what happened? Tom, yes, it is. And no, and you didn't even, and you did that, that is so humble. To do that and not even talk about it and mention it.

Guys, I'm so sorry, guys, this is a really fun chat and enjoyable, but unfortunately, we couldn't get our shit together in time to be able to have this conversation. Zach, we can have it in the next episode, but we are figuring out the rules now. I just need to say one thing. Mark said it was a Big Mac and it is not. No, because there's not the bread in the middle at all. But that's what you fucking said, kind.

It's a double quarter pounder. No, no, no. Talk. Same again, Tom. So he took an Oreo, right? He twisted it. One side had cream and biscuit. The other had biscuit. Straight up. He ate just the biscuit.

Just the biscuit. Then he put down the cream and biscuit, huh? Got another Oreo, twisted. Then there was cream and biscuit and just biscuit. He ate the biscuit. He had two dry biscuits. Then he picked up the cream and biscuit, and in the other hand, he had the other cream and biscuit. Then he put it together like a double quarter pounder and he ate it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just the double stuffed it. That's fucked up. But not a Big Mac. Not a Big Mac. Genius. No, because I thought there was another, the way it was described to me at first, maybe I just heard it. But it sounded me like there was a biscuit. Not maybe.

You did. All right. Great idea. And I apologize. There's no need. I am sorry to say. I am sorry to say. It's a green time.

Mark, we are setting the rules. Mark, I am happy for you to be the leader. Great. But I ask that you listen. I ask that you listen to criticism. If people ask you to move along, I ask you, just acknowledge it. You don't have to move along. Don't go hard.

Don't go hard on it in like a childish sort of fuck you way. Oh, you criticise me. All right, fuck you. I'll do exactly what you want, but not in the way you ask. Is that not working? Is that not working? You got a no butt at, Mark. Great.

All right? Can I ask something, Zach? Broden. No, but. But. Broden, go, yes. We're out of time. We're not out of time.

We are going to figure this out. 30 minutes. We're out of time. We are going to figure this out. You have to go in with an imperfect system. No. I think we have to go ahead with an imperfect system. Let me here.

Broden, go. I need Lindsay to read back what. Lindsay wrote down I've also wrote them down. I want to hear both back to back. Lindsay? I wrote, If anyone is unhappy with the leadership,

they can call for mutiny. If anyone calls a mutiny, the leader isn't allowed to talk until the mutiny has been decided. We did this in a car once. Yeah, it was an unanimous decision to decide mutiny. The sentence,

I sentence ye to the phantom zone against anyone who isn't a leader. They can't talk for two minutes once they're in the phantom zone until they ran to society. However. Can you moan and groan in the phantom zone? We decided that you can moan and grown in the phantom zone.

Three times. You're only allowed to do it three times. First, two times you get a warning. The third time, first you were sentenced to the phantom zone zone. And now you're sentenced to the moan and groan phantom zone zone. Excellent. And then only the person who can do the warning. The only person who can give you a first and second warning is the person who first sentence

you to the phantom zone zone. Great. I got a little lost towards the end there, but I'm getting the gist of it. You need to manually time yourself whilst you're in the phantom zone zone. Yeah. And then once you return to the real world

from the phantom zone, you have 20 seconds to talk about your time in the phantom zone zone. And then you return to the real world with Christmas spirit. Yes. I just want to add one other thing. The phantom zone.

No, wait. It's just a clarification. Anything from here on now is an amendment. It's just a clarification. The Phantom Zone banishment. Yeah. I sentenced you to the Phantom Zone. That also needs a unanimous vote.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. The only thing I had on top of what Lindsay said is that Mark is the leader. Great. Yes, yes. Any other thoughts?

Any other amendments before we jump into this? I'd just like to add in there for, what's the word for, like, for history to, for history, you know. A big Mac. structure of an Oreo would be hard biscuit cream. Hard biscuit cream. Hard biscuit. Yes, I know. Biscuit.

I know. I'm fucking putting something into legislation. You're putting this into, this is, I didn't realize this was rules for cake. For posterity. And you do understand that I know the fucking difference between a big Mac version of an Oreo. I just want it known for posterity. And a double quarter pounder. But my mistake was that I just misheard the construction.

Oh, let me finish. For posterity. Big Mac is hard biscuit cream, hard biscuit, cream, hard biscuit. Double quarter pounder would be hard biscuit cream, cream, hard biscuit. Yes. So the Big Mac... No debate there. The Big Mac would have been you eat the dry biscuit of one,

then you take another... You do nothing to that and just squish it in. Which is fun. Sure. Yeah. They should do that as a co-lab with McDonald. Very fun. A McFlurry-flavored Oreo that.

comes in a big Mac. Can we all agree? Don't know, fuck. Delete that bit because I actually want to save that for later. I want to pitch that. I have one request. Can you delete that? No, keep it in.

Delete it. I want to keep it. No, that's a fucking, there's a, they're going to fucking... Why are you saying? Because they're going to steal that fucking idea. Someone's going to make millions. And I'm going to still be sitting at home my dick in my hand, ripping it off.

Ripping your dick off. Yeah, because of the anger. All the money that I don't have. You're not going to make that much money from a deal like that. going to get like a good marketing wage. All right, well, that's good to know. That's good. You're not getting a cut in that.

All right, good. I'm safe. One other thing, one other request. Got one more thing. Yeah, so my one would be, can we really step into this next episode? Two requests, actually. Okay. One, Mark, can you set up?

Even could we reenact Tom getting his gift? Sure, yeah, fresh start. I love that. I love it. I act like it's the first episode, right? And can we release the second one in six months? Yeah. No, that's less my vote.

Could this come out in July? That's sort of funny. Yeah, we can talk about that. We can talk about that. That this comes out quite soon without context. You've got to keep listening to the podcast. Find out what happens because we're going to drop it at a random time. Now.

And with a different name. So you won't know until you start listening. Sorry, Zach. No, no, no, it's fine. I just want to get to the bottom of this so we can have. fun in the next. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just want to request that we come in with the Christmas cheer. We act like this episode never happened. I agree. It is, we have to really play it. Happy, joyful, Christmas cheer, all good vibes. And the only time that anything might hint at this

episode is when a leadership challenge happens or a phantom zone. Absolutely. It just sort of starts fresh and clean. Is that? You got it? Yes. Yes. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. Oh, Tom had a request. I was just going to say thank you for the biscuits, Braden. Very delicious. Well, save that. Well, Tom, get that back in the polls back. Yeah, I can't.

Where did I put the call? When you get them, when you actually get them. And half a thing are Oreos. Which I think, I think it would be important to address that, but not know how it happens. In canon. In canon. Yeah. Do it in canon. Absolutely. This episode never happened. And can I just get those calls one more time?

I call a mutiny, whatever. and then it's, I sentence ye to the phantom zone. I also think it's very important to title this episode, like KK, and then in brackets, skip this one, and then the next one, KK, no context required. Real edition. Yeah, okay, sure, sure. We can talk about that off there. Great.

All right. We're good. We good. All right. Join us next week or in six months for the proper KKK episode, and I think we're all going to have a good time. Absolutely. Okay.

You've been listening to the Antitana podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie Donna Club.com. See you next week.