Aunty Donna Podcast - The Search For A CEO

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

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A list-nuff production. We're becoming a big entity. How many people are employed by Antidona Coat? Currently, well, no one technically. But how many have we folded in? Max and Tom about four years ago. That's a lot of people. A bit longer than that. A lot of people. No, four years.

It's probably a lot of people. That's a lot of people. There's six of us. Not that many people. Six of us co-owned the business and we don't employ any more. Yeah, I haven't folded anymore. Well, there's been discussions about folding other people.

Well, let's my point is it's becoming time. We're getting so rich. We're getting so rich. We're getting become so busy. We haven't had many mistresses. It's time to get. I don't have a mistress. Who's that?

What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? That pater have sex with daily. Oh, that name. Yeah, that's just that's old. Cognisu. What do they call them in sopranos? Guma, like... Guma, Guma. Guma, Guma. Yeah, I got a couple guma's. Anyway, we're so busy.

What am I? What are you? What am I? If not a mistress? You're a friend with Ben- Bloody Chop Liver. Because you're a- You're a- You're a- No Ben-

Chop Liver, but you're a- You're a more of a colleague with benefits. A colleague with- A colleague with benefits. With the RISTY benefits. RISTY benefits. As I can say, I'm a colleague, I'm trying to be subtle here, I'm a colleague trying to be subtle here. I'm a colleague who gives, that occasionally gives you RISTI's.

Zach has never given me a RISTI. For the record, I've never given Mark a RISTI. I think it's good to be clear. He just winked. I didn't wink. He winked again. He winked again. He winked again. He just winked. I didn't wink. It's just you that are on the way to get me. I didn't wink. I've never given Mark a RISTI. Don't wink at me. I'm not I'm not winking. It's not like if it's true. I'm not the one you have to convince of it. Everyone at home, everyone at home, I've never given Mark a

RISTI. He winked. He winked. There was one time he gave me a week Risti by accident. He tripped over in the shower. And I accidentally, yeah. And then his hand was already in sort of like a circle formation. My penis slipped into that circle. And then rather than releasing the circle circle he just kept it as a circle when it went in Rome so there was a single jerk but it was an accident there was a complete complete accident here's my thoughts guys I'm gonna bring this to you

and Sam you're in Judas you're involved in this oh I think we should hire a chief executive officer. Oh see you 100% I want to pay them bear with me 800,000 per year plus benefits and bonuses if they reach their KPIs they get a bonus And you are aware that None of us are making minimum wage. But we got a Patreon. Right. Now, my honest say to you guys, give me the power. Give me the initiative. Give me the chance to interview some people.

Brad, can I express one concern? I love this idea. Like I love it. And I've been pushing for something like this for a long time. For a folding. My biggest concern is the 800K number. I don't think this company turns over 800K a year, so I don't understand how we're going to pay. Okay, we can get to the details later. We can push the fiat if you like. Well, no, I don't think with KPIs getting there, if he makes us

or she, yeah, yeah, that's right. I only said he because because why? Because why? Because why? The characters are auditioning, auditioning. Oh, see, that's you've got to get you've got to get out of that mind frame. This is we're not auditioning. We're not. You got a lot to learn, boy. Oh, no. Anyway, I want to interview a man for this CEO role.

Or her. Or her. A man or her. I have a way to see who she is or him. Wow. Because the characters you'll be playing, I would be great to see who she is or him. Wow, I can't. Because the characters you'll be playing, I would be great to see some female characters. I'm going to interview some real people.

I'm going to interview. Have we given it away that we're going to be playing the characters? Is that sort of a real thing? I think it's not clear. And I think if you're a listener of this podcast, you are agreeing that you are sort of suspending belief. We're playing characters?

I thought we left after this. No, we're not. That's the way you pitched it to me. Yeah, you guys, yeah. Oh yeah. You guys leave. Okay. What was that?

What was that all year? Yeah, you guys leave. And then some wacky characters will come in when do you want us to leave? Shortly, yeah now shortly I guess it's just you and me Judas hey go give me some silver. I mean yes So good boy. I mean, yes. It's a good boy. I mean, Judas, let me level with you. My plan was that they would pretend to leave, they would play different people interviewing

for a job. You guys. Oh, yee-ha! Oh, okay, my first, sorry, Judas, excuse me, my first applicant is here. Yee-ha! Hi, please take a seat Just your name please get out on cowboy Get a cowboy sort of fading off Relays you played a cowboy character. I don't want to oh your fan if I work. Thank you so much. Yeah. Um, cowboy, uh,

where we need to see, oh, at Arnie Donna, we're looking to pay them about three million per year. Okay. Tell me why should we hire you? Uh, love riding on ponies. I love, um, I love going into saloons. Yep. I love collecting money for killing people. Okay, I'll stop you there. Have you ever been a scenario where you've killed someone for money, where you had to work as a team? Me, yes, there was one situation where a young boy, I was old, I'm an old man and we're not age just here as well, we're happy to hire people.

Fantastic. So I'm an old man and a young boy, he came up and he said, I want to kill this guy for cutting up a person, I want to kill him and we're going to get a good reward. And me, him and Morgan Freeman, we went to kill him and we're going to get a good reward and me him and Morgan Freeman We went to kill him and this boy was really enthusiastic. He didn't understand the depth And pain that it is to take a man's life. I did I'd lost my wife Who had made me a good man? Judas you did not film this is

Oh me a good man. Do you not film this? No, I don't know. Okay, so it was one of three Westerns I believe to win best picture. It's the most recent. No country for old men. Oh, that is technically a Western, so it's not the most recent, so it's one of four I believe. So how did you work as a team? Okay so how did you did you show leadership skills? Well I showed leadership skills because in the end I was the one for the first guy to pull the trigger. I don't want to give away any more plot details for the film so in the credits Sergio Leoni was saying a film we need CEO. And I can't remember but the director of the searches was thanked. It was made in 1991, I believe.

I think we've heard everything we need. The Clint East would played me. I think we've heard everything we need. Cowboy R, thank you so much for your time. You don't want to guess? No, this is an interview, a job interview for a role. All right, next. It's not a guessing the film.

No, it is. It's the good bad in the ugly. Close, but it's later. But it was just so fun. I will get to you. I will get to you. Alright. Alright. Next to the herd from the room next door. I just wanted to have a guess. Originally called Mag Crew. This is not playing severe trinima. Trinima. Fuck! I'm not playing severe trinima. Well, this is what I do. You're one made of me. You got to get good at it. We will email you. The style above stara.

You want to just have a guess. Cowboy are, I mean, is it suburbia? No. It was originally called Mag Crew. The third film by British filmmaker who had recently worked on the transparent films. This film is notable for two reasons. One, it's one to one thirty-three ratio, aspect ratio, and winning a prize at the Khan Film

Festival. No, it was American Honey. Okay, thank you so much. I can't wait to hear your results. Okay, great. Thank you so much. Next, please wait to hear your results. Okay, great. Thank you so much. Next, please. Hello. Hi, please take a seat. Thank you. You should grab your seat. Okay, it's weird that you would think that. Who are you, Mark? Hi, Mark. Why are you going for the CEO of I don't know? I want to be your boss, and I want to be your boss and I want to be Zach's boss.

Thank you because what are you doing here in the room? Zach, I said I needed a loan time for this. Sorry, I'm not here. I'm not here. Thank you. And this is why when I come into work every day, I see you guys slacking off. I sit. What are you doing? Can you please get out? I'm sorry, I'm not here. I'm not here

Yeah, you can't just say you're not here and then remain in the room. I just felt I wanted to Okay, thank you How are you Judas you only oh you got a Silver you want to know is my first call of action. I have the Judas character. Okay, my question is, go on, you were finishing. Why are you applying for this job, Mark? I'm applying for this job because I think I'm the best

suited for it. You could get an outside wacky zany character, but I would argue that their knowledge, their fiscal understanding, and their knowledge that they would bring towards running a business wouldn't be as good as someone that's been with the business from the start. I'm looking for a promotion.

Many question. What does fiscal mean? Fiscal is when you are fist, something like an icicle, or you use an icicle to fist yourself. Fiscal. So when you say you want to take a larger role in the unidon as fiscal stuff, what does that mean? It means when you get in every morning, you've got your little latte, Take a larger role in the unidonous fiscal stuff. Uh-huh. What does that mean? It means when you get in every morning, you've got your little latte, you've got your little fucking berry smoothie, you've got your little fucking whatever else you drink and you drink in three or four, you have in three or four different liquids every morning brodo.

You gotta notice this, you bend over to pick up the third one, boom, you're getting fistered with a nice hook. Yeah. With a stallotype. I'm taking those stallotypes. Frozen fist wouldn't be. Pardon? It could be, it could be, well this is the thing. This is what I'm talking about.

Nobody knows exactly what's going on fiscally. All right. And I want to take care of it. Is there any time that you've exhibited particularly strong leadership skills? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No one listens to me. of it. Is there any time that you've exhibited particularly strong leadership skills? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No one listens to me. No one wants to listen to me. I try to say things in the group I get ignored constantly. Yeah. Do you think that'll change when

I can see you? No, it won't. So what can I do but hire a CEO? What is that stand for? That's why I'm interviewing you. No, you're not. No, no, no, no. Chief Executive Entrepreneurial Officer. That's one step above me. Is there any time, I'm going to give you a scenario. Okay.

You come to the office. There's a... Is this like scenario, the day of the Dispito? A big party. Day of the Dispito. I don't know what that is. I think he's making a riff on the Sicario sequel. Soldato.

I don't know. Sicario, Soltana. Soltanas. You come to work. There's a media. Someone in, it's gone on Twitter. Just to be clear. Just to be clear, I probably wouldn't be coming to work that much if I was CEO and probably

just be at home kicking it Okay, but keep going you're at home. There's a Twitter meltdown. Yeah, Zach has fucked a cat. Yeah, what do you do? Well, I have never fucked the dog I want to make that super clear I really want to make that super clear that that never happened. I think I've heard everything I need to say so much for you tonight. No worries, thank you so much. Broden, I'm waiting for my phone to ring. Yep. And I'll be outside. All right.

Thank you so much. Judas, what did you reckon? Oh, I was reckon going to worry about it. No, no. I don't think we're testing the limits of this character. I don't know if he had silver. I didn't ask him. Would you like me to ask them?. Oh yeah. Hello. Hello. I heard you had one more question. Oh yeah.

Do you have any silver? Yes. He's got silver. Oh yeah. Give it to me. What will you do with it Judas? I don't have it. You just take the silver. I'll have it. You just take the silver. I'll have it. I'll speak Judas. Would you consider giving my friend Judas a scarry at your silver? Yeah, I would consider it, but I'd need something in in return. Maybe he didn't know something like he could betray his best friend or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you want you give me a silver. I'll do it. We'll get it done. Whatever you want you give me this over I'll do it. We're gonna done See the ten doom then I love it all right. Thank you so much. I'll see you later after the poker Did you want to stay for this next interview? Sure. I'd love to all right, please come in Hello, hello, please have a seat. Hello Yep, just your CV please. Oh

All right, this is quite damp. It's a very damp sea. It's written on a lily pad. Yeah. And your name? My name is, oh shit. My name is C.O. Steve. All right, you've written one for us. You've written from men, cross it out

and then run C.O. Steve. Yes, my name is C.O. Steve. And? And you're a human. Yeah, you're a human, you're a person? Yes, I'm a human, so I can't discriminate against me for being a frog. Oh, we wouldn't?

Well, we wouldn't if you were a human. Or if you were a frog. Oh, okay. Well, I'm a frog. That was quick. All right, you are a frog. Yes. What's your name?

My name is Steve Frog. Right. Okay. Um, we're looking for someone, we're looking to pay them rent 10 million per year plus bonuses. Yes, good. That's a good amount of money for me. Uh, how does that sit with your KPR's,Is, what you're looking for? Well, I'm a frog, you see.

So my last job was sitting in a pond. And what I did there was I was not paid a lot of money. I was only paid around five million a year. And that was taxed quite significantly because of my amount of work in the UK. I got double taxed for that. So I was really only making about two and a half million out of that. What were you doing exactly? So I had a number of roles there.

My main role was to sit it upon just being damn warm. My other role was really to, we had recently acquired a large company, and my role was to restructure that company, so it functioned more as an arm of the pond. I had to let go of about 40% of the workforce. I had to incorporate 20% of the redistribute and reincorporate, 20% of the pond's workforce to take on the responsibilities of that new of the pond. Okay. Yes. And that period, were there any times were you exhibited particularly strong leadership skills?

Oh yes, there were two situations. One, I had to let go obviously of 40% of the workforce. That came in at 20,000 people. I personally sat in for the first 100 or so to help the team with the processes of letting them go and applying severance packages. Another time I displayed leadership skills was when I had some little tadpoles. So you're a father? Yes, I'm a father of little tadpoles. Great. They gooey and gooey.

Okay, that's really interesting. Yes, I'm a fraud. So you, okay, great. Did you have any questions? My only my main question is so CEO is your first name Yeah, and Steve is second. It's my middle name. Steve's your middle name. I'm CEO first Ma, can I tell you your secrets? Sure. It's me frog man My god your secrets. Sure, it's me, Frogman. Oh my god, my old dog, bro, I've never run upon. I've only ever let cover about 45 people and I don't know how to run a business. I just want to hang out with my friends. Well, you don't have to be

CEO of Antidonna to hang out with us. We love you, Frogman. You're one of our favorite characters. One of the first characters that have come on this podcast. You love me, but you're always hanging out and dry, cold places. You know I can't come to a cinema. We're Crackle-Up. We said we told you we'll bring a lamp. We'll bring a lamp and we'll bring a little bottle of spray. I don't want to inconvenience you while you're watching Ant-Man and the Wasp.

I'll crackle up. I'm more afraid you'll start trying to eat the bloody Ant Man on this green kick infused. No, no, I'm a big fan of Paul Radow would need him. I've heard everything I need to hear. So I prefer the previous applicant to be completely honest. You? Yes. How I propose I be completely honest. You? Yes. And then how I propose, I'm onto you.

All right, it's probably time to move on. Thank you, Steve. Thank you so much, bro. Thanks, bro. Broden, before I go, I've got a little present for you. Oh, great. I can't really accept any presents in a job. If it's more of a just a private gesture,

that's fine, but it can't be seen as a bribe. No, it's a little frog eggs. Okay. It's a little frog eggs, but you can raise it zero. Am I understanding, Broden, that if you ejaculate onto them through your skin, not through your penis, but if you manage to make your ejaculate,

come through your skin and come onto the eggs Then you will those eggs will turn into a little fat pulse. That's right. That's what we do on frog honey moons We we we ejaculate through our skin all right. Bye bye boys. Goodbye frog. I'm going to fly away now Wow, oh my goodness. What if you have wings? OK, I was very impressed. What about you, Judison Mark?

I, like I said, I think the previous applicant was stronger and had a better ability to not ejaculate through his skin, which I think is an important. I liked that. I don't think Don May ejaculates through his skin. We don't know that. We don't know that. To be fair, we don't know that.

We don't know that. Um, I think it's important to get some... Uh, I'd like to be... I'd like some equality in our office. I'd love to see a female CEO. Sure. Uh, here we go. Uh, who's next...

Okay. Oh, it's Louisiana Jill. Uh, please come in. Have a seat. Yeah! Happy Dood! Hey, all the way to the out of Jill. All right, I'm a Louisiana Jill. I'm a woman. Yes, please have a seat. Uh, just your CV, please. Yeah! Yeah!

This is just a bowl of gumbo. Thank you so much. Enjoy that gumbo boys! It's fresh, it's from the oven. It means you have to do your accent since we met as a changes quite a bit. Well you know when you don't remember what necessarily you did for a character maybe a couple months ago and then someone just tells you do it, you tend to just make some shit up.

Yeah, I know that very well. Yeah. Is there a... Sorry, I got the gas. Is that because you've been eating beans, Louisiana? It's because I got the RBS. Sorry, over to you, brother. Sorry, I just spat in broadens our bowl.

Okay, great. Is there enabin? Enabin? Yes, is there enabin? Is there enabin? Help! Sorry, we're here at Aunty Nome. There's two things that are very important to us.

Xenema trivia and enabin. Those are the two things that are important to us. Guys, I just need to stop. I've made some mistakes with my wording and I feel like every time I do you guys pull me up on it and make fun of me. I don't think it's fair. I don't think I wouldn't do that to you guys. I want to be straight off the bat.

I don't want to be a run company with such much so much internal conflict No, that's the first thing I'm a sold out you boys. I want you to look each other in the eye Okay, I want you to say how I want you to say that I want you to go around the circle And look at the person to left you this Judas is scary it. Yes, and I want you to say one positive thing about there. Right, okay. I want you to look them in the eye and say Something that you really like about them. Okay, great. Something that maybe they've done to make you feel like good little two shoe warm in the pool. A little little two shoe warm in the pool. Okay. All right, Judas Iscariot, you want my left? I like the way that you have a further for silver. That's a great start. It's a very good compliment. Now Judas, I want you to look to the person

that you're left. And I want that to be, and I want you to say something positive, something really nice, something special about old Zach Ruein. I love silver. No, now that's something about you. Now what I need you to do is listen, listen up. And say something positive about Zach in particular. Silver. I would like to move on. Right. Exactly.

Now I need you to look at Louisiana Jill. That's me. I don't want you to say something positive. I that's me. I want you to say something positive I like to clarity something cool about me. Okay, Louisiana Jill. Yeah I Clearly I like you because I keep bringing you back Even though she's completely different every time yeah You should make Jesus.

He's a cool guy. Louisiana Jill, I really like your gumbo. Is that what type of sausage is that that you're using? It's a German brat worst that I got from the shop. Great. Thank you for your gumbo. Louisiana Jill. Is there anything else I think I really like the way you came in and you took control? Thank you for your comeback. So it's the editing.

Is there anything else? I think I really liked the way you came in. You took control. And I like that you have a plan. I think I'm happy. Is there anything you'd like to say before we make our decision? No, no. No, yes. No, I'd like to say one thing.

But it's not really a thing. It's more of a sound scape. Okay. Well, all right. That sounds awesome. I Right, okay, right so that was beautiful Thank you so much so much. Was it the rain for it was the rain forest? The rain forest. Yes, it was the Queensland rain forest. All right, if you guys want to see more the ways the energy No, I've killed myself No, Louisiana Jill I've killed myself and I can't come back I've killed myself and I can't come back I'm ascending into heaven boys. Right, okay

Flash forward three hours guys You okay Mark? Yeah, man Guys I sat down with the best CEOs on the market in Australia. Wow. I sat down with Cowboy R. Yeah. I sat down with Mark. Mark. You were there. Was I? I sat down with Frogman.

He was disguised as CEO Steve Frog. You knew? I assumed he was so confident in his disguise when he told me about it. I sat down with the Louisiana Jill. What was that like? She was great. She came in and she said, I see issues. Here's what I do.

Everyone else is very reactionary. She was very proactive. She was. And also, she's much stronger. She's getting stronger as a character every time I see her. But then unfortunately she did kill herself. Oh, well, look. Sure, there's ways to bring her back.

I don't think so. I'm sure there are. I think my recommendation to the board would be Louisiana Jill. I like the way she came in. No, I want to see more. You didn't talk about how you spoke with Mark as well. I'm sure I spoke with Mark. Mark threatened to fist me. Oh, I think it was less of a threat more of just the how he would deal with the fiscal nature of the business. So Mark, you're interrupting. We did give Broden the power to make this decision.

Did we? And it is about someone that we're happy to see in the office every day at someone we can work with consistently. And I want to see more of Luizio too. So I'm with you on that, bro. Steve Frog exhibited a lot of traits that said to me that he could handle the job. He would be a very safe bet. Mm-hmm.

He would be, he laid off something like 400,000 people. 40, uh, 20,000 I believe, yeah. We don't have that, we don't even have that many employees, not even close, we have six. But if we ever did, he wouldn't want to do that did he would know how to lay them off in a cool, calm, professional manner. It would be a lot like up in the air but with a frog. I am thrown between Steve Frog, Louisiana Jill and Cowboy R.

Cowboy R was good. I just want to talk through him. He didn't really come in. When I asked him when he'd exhibited leadership skills, he just started doing cinema trivia, or as I like to call it, Cineatrivium. The Cineatrivium.

He did do a lot of Cineatrivium. I just misspoke the misspeak, which is why you'll never be CEO. I said, that's fair, that's why I didn't go for it. That's why I didn't put my hat in the ring. You did and you failed. I don't think I failed. That's why I didn't put my hat in the ring. You did and you failed. I don't think I failed. I think Mark displayed the kind of qualities we're looking for in a CEO.

What's that? Big dick confidence. Big dick confidence. Just that confidence someone's got when you know they got a big dick. The confidence of a big girl. She can have big dick confidence. I think that I'm, for me, if I have a say,panions. I think that I'm for me if I have a say Brodan I think it is ultimately your decision but I think for me it's Louisiana Jill.

I think I would love to throw it to like our audience. I think that would be the fairest way to do this. So if, if, okay, that's a good idea. I've got a bit of a hashtag idea possibly. So possibly if they want to vote for Louisiana Jill, they just do hashtag Jill. You probably need to do hashtag the fans vote or something like that. Okay. Hashtag. And then say your, so hashtag the fans vote. But that's probably to corner hashtag Jill okay hashtag on fans vote Jill and then for Anyone else they just go hashtag I vote for anyone else

Other than Louisiana Jill because that is who I'm supporting for CEO of Aunty Donna. How do you feel better? No comment. So hashtag, Louisiana Jill, if you vote for her, or the other hashtag, which I won't repeat. Or you can do either of those, or just tweet us this week, who your vote is. Is it Frogman Steve?

Is it Calboy R? Yes, yeah. Or Mark. Mark, who threatened to fist me? It's not what happened. Or is it, I want to chuck Judas in there. Hey, oh, hey. You didn't need to speak then.

Uh. Ah. Um, or is it Louisiana Jill? Pretty sure it's Louisiana Jill. No, that's your choice, but not the fans' choice. I'm letting the fans decide. And the fans are very aware of who would be more entertaining and funnier to have on the podcast.

As our CEO. As our CEO. I don't think they need to be funny. I think they need to be good business people. Considering this is a comedy podcast I disagree. Is it? Is it though? Hmm, I'm never thought of it that way. Have you listened to podcast 20 through 67? I really went through a slump there.

Brodan, I think this is a great idea. I think we should reconvene in a few weeks' time. We'll leave it open for a long time, and then we'll reconvene in a few weeks' time. Find out who the CEO is. Yeah, absolutely. And Tom, play some sort of tense music here. Good night, Australia. Good night, Australia. Thank you. You've been listening to the Antidona Podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip-episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week!