Aunty Donna Podcast - The Search For A Receptionist

Episode Date: September 19, 2018

auntydonna.com/shows patreon.com/auntydonna haventyoudonewell.com  Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A list of not production. Wow. Thanks so much for joining us today everyone on the Antidona podcast. Number, I don't know, okay. Last week, maybe depending on how we release these, we interviewed for a CEO of Antidona, and we're waiting to hear back on the results from fans. We're seeing a lot of great results coming through on the Twitter. Thank you everyone for putting in your votes. A lot of love for Louisiana Jill. There's actually not that much for Louisiana Jill, but that's okay. Another week of voting. Obviously. Yes, one more week of voting before we make our final decision. And just so you know, your votes don't actually count, we do make the final call. So vote away. But obviously if there is an overwhelming sense for Louisiana

Jill, we will have to go that way. So keep those Louisiana Jill bros. See how it goes with something else. Not necessarily. Can't promise that. She did kill herself. We can always bring her back. Okay. So today we're interviewing for an anti-donna receptionist, because we need someone to do all the shit jobs that we don't want to do. Get writing. Yeah all that shit. We just

performing. Yeah we just want to sit on our old porches drinking iced tea. That's what that's the that's where we're trying to get to and we need someone else to do everything like you know tour around Australia and New Zealand and the UK and America and perform the shows for us and do all the social media posts and emails. Emails keep that snapchat buzzing along. buzzing along. I just want to say sorry to all our snapchat followers. I know we've been sort of abandoning the snapchat that's because it's a dying platform.

Yeah, we've just assumed it's a dying platform. It is, I guess it is, I don't know. I hate it. So we've got our first applicant here. I'll buy Broden. I'll see you Broden. See you Broden. Guys, I'm just off. See you later. See, I have a good one man. We a Mark will take this from now, but if you want to help with the next one, that'll be great, because I'm gonna go to the shops. I'm off. All right, bye bye. See you buddy.

See you, Judas. Oh, see, I'm gone. I'm not coming back. I'm going, I'm not coming back, bye. See you, Judas. See you, Judas. Thanks for coming, guys. I'm gonna feel you, Judas will be back.

I think Judas will be back. On you, I'm just saying the character. Guys, I'm off. Bye bye. See you later. Okay, so this is perfect up to get that first applicant in for you boys. Yeah, see you. Hey, bro, then yeah, bye, bye. See you guys want anything? Where are you off to? Off. Are you going to not on? Can you get me some Ziml? Are you going to not on can you get me some Zimmel? What is it? Zimmel is a lactose-free milk. Can you get him some Zimmel? I'm not going to I'm going fructose in a lot of the fake milks

none I think so I'm off guys all right all right, so can you get me some zappos? With zappos it's like a It's like a sour little candy chewy. Little chewy sour candy. Chewy candy. All right. Yeah, are they gonna sell them in the same places as them? Yes, I do.

Yeah, I can say, yeah, if you go into the IGA, the Churchill IGA used to be a Tucker bag. I'm not going to church. I'm not going to a place that's two to three hours out of Melbourne. But if you go into the Tucker bag IGA, we still call it Tucker bag. Is it Tucker bag? We're in a little Tucker bag? I remember Tucker bag.

I need to talk to you. I remember the talking paper bag from the grocery store, Tucker bag from the 90s. You know, so you're going to take a bag. You're not killed in the plastic bag. Mm-hmm. There was a plastic bag came and they were like, Tucker bag is dead. Yeah, that's true. So you're getting a Sappho and a Zimmull. There was a plastic bag came and they were like, tuck a bag's dead. Yeah, that's true.

So you're getting a Zappo and a Ziml. A Ziml, a Ziml lactose-free milk. If they've only got the low fat option, that's fine, but I prefer the full cream. If you're while you're there, I've got my allergies are playing up. Could you get some ZerTech? All right, so you want some ZerTech, Ziml and Zappo. And did anyone want any jewelry?

I would love jewelry. Yeah, well, I think there's a Zammals in Mawol, so if you want to get some Zammals jewelry better be great. I've been feeling a bit low lately. I was wondering if you could pick up this prescription for me. What is it for? Just for my Zanex. Alright, so we got Zanex, Zimol, Zurtec, Zapo and Zammel.

Zim Jury. If you could get... I'm off. Sorry, I've just got a friend in Churchill who's taped all my favorite scenes from Buffy starring the character Zander. So if you could get a Zander VHS for me, that'd be great. Or just a VHS with scenes of Zander from Buffy, that'd be great. Or just a VHS with scenes of Xander from Buffy that'd be great. You got it I'm already I'm off for you just before you go if you're swinging by the zoo and my pet lion has not eaten for weeks

Starving you're a pet lion. Yes, of course. I have a pet line. You know I got a pet line. Could you just get me a zebra just the first zebra corpse All right, it's just yeah, you're I've written it down Have you? I've written it down. There you go. Your hands have been in your pockets all by. Oh, yes. I don't need to say it.

You can see that there. I've written it all down. OK, yeah, that's right in. Right in. Right in, if you're going to the Takabag as well, I'd love it if you could get some lemons. All right. Just some lemons.

All right. Judas. Judas let went. He's gone. Alright, Judas. Judas went. He left. He's gone. Fuck, sorry. I'll find him. I don't know if you will. I think I will. Alright, see ya guys.

Bye bye. See ya later. Yes. Bye bye. I was gone! I was out of the door! See ya mate. So now is a perfect time Well, is it a perfect time? I think Broden all really want to be present for these I don't want to do this without Broden Broden Broden Broden Broden watch before you go mate. Could you just stay here for an hour or two while we interview up your applicants? But you can be silent during the ones that you play. Yeah, that's fine

But I'll put all this shit I'm gonna get. Oh, it's alright. I don't really need any of that So it's more just like if you're gonna Talk about what what man I went through this a run it all down. Oh, no, it all baby was very funny It started with said oh poor baby. It's not all zed things. I got you get lemons as well. Yeah lemon starts with L I don't know what you're talking about. All right, do your interview. I'll just sit here and quiet quiet. Well, you can talk during my characters. Right. But and you can talk during yours. But yeah, and I've got a character I might do. I don't know. I'll say how I'm feeling. I'm not very confident after doing Louisiana Jill last

week. You're a really Louisiana Jill. No, I didn't know. I didn't know it was that good. Yep. Okay. All right, we've got our first applicant in. Hello. It's Brodon playing a character. Hello. Hello, it's him.

It's his, it's his German man from Zikkommedydjüo. Oh. It's a very stern German man from the comedy duo. He's a very stern German man and wacky, wacky boy. Hello. Wacky German. Let me tell you something Mark. I haven't asked you a question. Let me assure you. You will listen to what I have to say to you.

I like his confidence. And he's very stern. And he has a big jaw. Let me tell you this. Crack won't have that. Let me tell you. I Craig won't answer that. Let me tell you. I feel busy receptionist. Okay.

Okay. I will email. I will get your little cough. Yes. I will put people in little cities to where to come meet you in the foyer. Give them who we close and your ideas, I can read that. Uh-huh. Viles evate for you.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But I will not pander. Uh-huh. You won't, you won't pander. I will not pander. I will not pander. I will not pander.

Well, we're not asking you to, you know, there's nothing that is pander. We're not letting it be clear. I will not dress up as on pander. We're not asking you to use nothing that is pandas. We're not letting it be clear. I will not dress up as an om panda and once around like a circus boy. What was that clear to you? What was your last job? What was your last job? My last job was in the army. What did him, what that's the panda thing? Right, clearly. I will not vaults around like a panda for your little entertainment lunchtime. I will do your emails. I will set your meetings.

I will get Judas Simsilver. But I will not vaults around like a panda. How are you with compliance? Very good to compliance. Ask me to comply. Please comply. All right. compliance. Ask me to comply. Please comply. I would.

Cool. Yeah, great. Just wondering. I've got a question for you. Yeah, he just asked me a little fuck. So say, say, to see is needs to organize a dinner, maybe a staff function. It'll likely be, they'll probably be in the mood

for gumbo or something like that, or maybe some Creole cuisine, being that the CEO will likely be Louisiana Jill. How are you going to organize that dinner for Louisiana Jill and see it? I tell you, this is three things. Does that tell you right now? I feel organized as a now. Yeah. I will organize the food.

Number one. Number one. Eins. Dry. I will organize the room and the cutlery on the plates. Oh, you'll actually do the stuff. I will set, I am trained in silver. In silver. But on numbers and and

Zvi and Zai is it dry? Yeah, that's right. And on Zvi. Yeah, I will never vault around like a pan. No one asked you to do that. I will not put on black and white. Okay, so here's the thing about this. I will not put on these farts. Get a real theory in white. In theory, this isn't a problem because the chances of us asking you to do that are slim. And I would never wear a Zeppander. Your insistence and not dressing like a panda is becoming an issue. Yeah, yeah. And it makes me want to make that part of your regular routine as the receptionist.

Well, I would not do this. Purely because you would find a NASA German receptionist. Having such a harsh reaction to something that was never even in my head immediately, you put it in my head. Now, I can't get the image of coming into work every day and forcing you to dress as it, because you should do whatever we want, because you are our employee, and you said you're good with compliance.

I'm very good with compliance. So what that's making me want to do is against my better judgment. I'm just telling you how I would work. You would get the best of me on the first. You would get some harshness. Oh, I love Brad first. You would get the worst. Oh, I love Brad first. You would get Brad first every morning. Really? Yeah. Do we get any bad things? We get the

best and we get Brad first. Yeah. You get the best and you get the worst. Do you understand? You get the best of me. German, German, German man. And you get the worst. Wow. There's no bad things there. But I tell you this right now. So I'm gonna tell you this. Yeah. If you ever made new walk around like a panda, we would come to an issue.

Okay. I've got one last question. Yeah. For this role, would you be willing to dress as a panda and walk around? Absolutely. I'm happy to see you. That's great. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Have a great day, thank you. If you have any follow up questions, please feel free to email. We'll email you to email. We'll email you to email. Stone Germanman at gmail.com. Oh great, great.

Thank you so much. We don't own that email. Broden, what did you think of that applicant? I liked him. Have you not gone yet? Oh, you hear. What? Tommy, I can stay. I mean I mean you could but I thought you were leaving Yeah, we could have taken no you said I don't have to get this list of shit anymore. So I've got nowhere to go

I really need that so yeah, no, if I don't have my Did I didn't need to get it? No, we're not well it was it was optional We're saying it was optional and then we said you can stay. It's just a shame. You didn't say anything I just assumed you'd let it bring in the next fucking applicant, all right? Let's bring him in Calabunga it's oh Jesus no no no no no new character potentially a bit niche Whoa I please have a seat.

Hey, whoa! What's your name? Hey, on the Paradise Pier Hotel! One of the three Diznille-Efficial Diznille-Land hotels! Whoa! Pretty niche? Okay, yeah. Hello!

So, we are looking for a receptionist not a large building in your people stay and sleep and and and see there you know then visit Disneyland with their dreams come true. Yeah, we're looking for a receptionist. In what way do you fit? The receptionist role. Well, here's the thing. Whoa, I used to be a hotel that was built in the 80s. And then I was retrofitted to look more Californian as there would be no birth tall enough to hide me from view at California Adventureland Park.

So I was retrofitted in 2001 to look more like to the theme of the theme park and now I blend in with picks up here That's a way I would I can adapt I think was your question Bass questions. Yeah, you are you are a building yes, yes Do you breathe do I breathe? Oh? No, no, no, no, so yeah, right? So I am a large hotel. I'm across the road from California Adventure Park. Previously the car park, I was just like, do you love? Do I love?

No, no, no, no. Do you know the difference between wrong and right? No, I am a building. Will you dress as a panda and dance for us? Absolutely. We're quiet, okay. And you think there will be panda suits in your size, which is I assume large buildings.

I'm a large multi-story building. To tall, to be hidden by a birth on the edge of California adventure path. Excuse me for one moment, building, Mark. Yeah. I understand. The pan thing's great. Yeah. Mike and Surn.

Yeah. He's ethics. He doesn't know the difference between wrong and right. Well, yeah, I mean, can you blame him though? He is just sort of like a series of walled doors. We're not falling into jack. I don't do wrong or right either. I'm a building But we need someone with the understanding of business ethics when he's someone with a moral Come whoa It sounds like you just have a lot of elevators stairwells. I got a goofy statue in my foyer

Okay, that is a positive I got a goofy statue in my foyer. Okay, that is a positive. Okay, there's a big deposit down there. There's a million dollars in a bag. You're walking down the street. That's what I can't do. Do you walk? No.

There's a million dollars. I am very stationary. I'm just across from downtown Disney. I can't. I can't. We need you to go get us lunch. Okay. How do you do that?

How do I go get you lunch? I can't. I can't do that. I'm a building. I'm in Anaheim. You're in Anaheim. Where is you you that? How do I go get you lunch? I can't I can't do that. I'm a building. I'm in Anaheim You're in Anaheim. Where is you you mostly work in Melbourne? Yeah, yeah, so that wouldn't work I do have two restaurants one has a theme. It's sort of both have like a surf California theme Uh-huh, and also seasonal season depending there's like a drinks and snacks bar by the pool on level three.

How many stars are you? I'm the lowest entry of the three Disneyland hotels. So I think I'd probably be about three, but I'm exorbitantly expensive. Okay. And you'd be okay with 25 a year plus benefits? Mm-hmm. That's 25 pillows. That's not enough pillows for me.

I'm about 500 rooms. Plus benefits. Oh. Benefits is just a couple extra pillows. Okay. Sure. I was originally a pen Pacific, but I was bought by Disney in 1995. What year did you say you would update it?

2001. What time of the year? Oh, I couldn't say it say it took a little while. It was to blend in with paradise pier say pre your post September. Oh, pre I'd say so you you You're quite famously I was built you get now before I want to know if he's a reaction to 9-11 or he's Gisted in a way so you're a good you're a can Disney 11 or he just did in a way. So you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, there's a potential where 9, 11 happened and

Disney went, we got to fix that hotel next to paradise. P. Oh, man, that's, we got, we got to do, we got to do it now. I don't know. I'm asking that question. That's a reaction to, that's a reaction to, I'm asking the questions. I'm like oh how many people 3000 oh We got to get that beer got it out of tell sorted out quite famously sales were very low at California adventure park Initially blamed on the September 11 attacks because there was less domestic travel in the country and as a person without ethics

How do you feel about that? I feel nothing neither here nor there I don't have any other questions for this large nothing. Neither here nor there. I am. Do you have any other questions for this large building? No, I don't. I'm impressed that you've been able to get here despite the fact you are a stationary I caught a problem. You caught a fine rider. I've had answers to the questions.

Thanks mate. That answers everything I need. Thank you so much. Strong. Very strong applicant. Very good. And quite large. huge, sturdy, Filtful of people.

Yes, yeah, absolutely loved it. He's, oh she, it, it, it is number one on my list right now. Interesting. Yeah, it's interesting. I don't know. I have a character probably not going to be good, but it'll probably be better than or at least less niche than the paradise pier hotel. You're probably not better. That was very good. Thank you. That's alright. Alright, please come in.

Yeah. Hey guys, how you doing? It's's me Andrew WK party on All right, okay. Yes, please. What are you doing here? I just came down here on my latest Rajas finish performing on tonightly and I just wanted to say I'm so excited to be in your country performing and I want to tell you guys the secret to party in yeah Great. Well, we're looking for receptionist. Okay, so I don't need to know the secret to party My as act to you. Do I need to know this? No, I kind of the secret to what party? Party I would have time to back a lot on the party in the last couple of years just because I couldn't handle my alcohol

I'm not nine kids, so I don't I don't part here. Oh, you don't party anymore? No, I don't part Yeah, well, you know my party anymore? No, I don't part here. Well, you know my figure of thinking about partying? What? What, what? What? You don't know. What?

I'm struggling. I'm struggling to understand you are asking questions and then we're asking for clarity and then your sort of clean slate, you're starting again. I didn't ask a question, did I? I think you did, didn't you? Party on! Can't you give me a question to you?

How are you so fit if you're constantly partying? Well, I love to stay buff, I love to go to the gym. There are three rules of the gym. Would you like to know the first rule? Yes. Yes, what? Sorry, okay. There are three rules of the gym. Would you like to know the first rule? Yes Yes, what sorry, okay, yeah, I think I this is either What's going on guys? One second Andrew WK. I'm Andrew WK. I think Andrew WK the musician who was famous in the early 2000s either got severe dementia

It was famous in the early 2000s, it's either got severe dementia. Sphere. It's kind of got like a memento kind of thing going on. Sphere like brain damage. Or, yeah, he's a goldfish. He's a goldfish. Oh, that's both of those, Mark. Sorry, can we pull out for a second?

I know, he's in the water. Mark, can I just say, fantastic character choices. You should be very proud of yourself. Let him know. Sometimes he gets a bit down about his characters Let him know on Twitter telling me my back. Okay. Thank you. WK. Hey guys. Would you like some flaky food? You know, I love flaky food out of a little tub. Oh, if you wanted to just that's good Pour that on top of my bowl right here. Oh, you're a boss. Sorry. I didn't say it

No, it's totally cool guys guys. Oh, I've got I've got something I would love to say to you. Right. What is it? What is it? What's what? Oh, I entered WK the gold fish. You've done it again. Oh, with sometimes I wish you were a fish finger. Why would you want me to be a fish finger? I'm a rock star. You're a lifestar to party Ninja wk. What do you eat? What do I what what do you eat? I don't eat You don't eat. Yeah, you don't eat little flaky things what flaky things. Hey, do you want some food? Food yeah sure

You know, that's a little flaky thing. I don't eat flaky things Hey, hey, hey, hey, do you want some food? Would you like to come to my show on Saturday night? Yeah, great. Where is it? Where's what? He's done it again. Edgy WK the goldfish Oh Guys I've got one thing to say to you. Oh great. I'd love to know what it is. What is it? Oh, man, I'm finding it difficult to talk to engine WK. It's hard to keep it rolling to who? Very funny to who? Engine your engine WK the fish. Who's that? You oh god damn it. We need to get this guys some guys I'd love to keep talking but I've got to go swim and just the lie down in my little castle. All right, bye

See you guys. I'll see you later a boot that see you're a boot. I think I'm Canadian. How you Canadian? I'm not sure Oh, you answered a question. What? So you said you were going What? Ah! So you said you were going. Oh, he's gone. Oh, he's gone. He actually remembered to go.

Because I thought he might just stick around. Because he said I'm going and then you'd forget to go. Oh, he did do that. I love to apply for your position as a receptionist. It's time to party! All right, Andrew WK the Goldfish. Um, I thought, I don't go fish Chinese. What?

On Goldfish Chinese. Goldfish are from several different regions of China. Number one being Shanghai. The Shanghai Goldfish is the most interesting of all the Goldfish are from several different regions of China. Number one being Shanghai. The Shanghai Goldfish is the most interesting of all the Goldfish, because it has the most interesting fins. You know what's interesting about Goldfish's fins? What's interesting about their fins, I'd love to know. No! No!

You'd love to know what? Ah! Hey, Judas, how do you feel about Gold? No! No! You'd love to know what? AHHHHH Hey, Judas, how do you feel that gold? Oh, no, I don't want to I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back He loves silver He loves silver, he loves silver Did you know that gold is one of the heaviest metals in the world and it doesn't rust?

If you had a smelt gold and then unsmelt it, it would change weight because sometimes How much does it weigh well sometimes it can increase weight and decrease weight Depending on how you've smelted it and how much is a way? How much does what way Ah! Oh! Andrew, don't be kidding. Andrew, don't be kidding. I love some flakes. Oh, would you like some flakes? I love some flakes if you got them. Oh, here you go.

Thank you. There's a real issue with consistency of how long your memory goes for. Sometimes it lasts for a few phrases and then sometimes it lasts one phrase. I disagree, I think I have a fine memory. I remember our entire conversation. I came in, I disagree, I think I have a fine memory. I remember our entire conversation. I came in, I asked, I wanted to be a receptionist, and then I sang you one of my favorite songs. It's time to party!

And then I forgot a couple of things, and then who are you? I'm at a loss. I don't know, I can't see it's working with a fish. I can't do this. We're so open to working with you, but as a goldfish in a little bowl, also you've got a great touring career. I don't see why you'd need to.

Well, I don't think this is Andrew WK. It's not performer at the Melbourne Riders Festival currently. Yeah. I think it's a goldfish with the head of Andrew WK, not necessarily Andrew WK. I want drawings of Andrew WK. Yeah, I want to see what he looks like. I never said my name was Andrew WK. Yeah.

It's Andrew GF. Andrew, I wanted the GF stand for. No, I will never know. GF. What are you talking about, brother? We will never know What are you talking about brother? We'll never know a Angel W. Yes, thank you so much guys has been such a pleasure. I love coming on the triple J I thank you so much for having your radio program. Would you like to hear a song before I go? We'd love to hear a song. What song are you gonna play? It's time to eat flakes.

Oh great, and how does that song go? It's time to eat flakes, little fish flakes. Eating flakes on a salad and that. Oh wow. Thank you so much, Andrew WK. For what? G.F. Oh my god. Thank you for what?

All right guys, we've met all the applicants. German, who did you do? Paradise pier. Paradise pier hotel and entry applicants. German. Who did you do? Paradise pier. Paradise pier hotel and entry GF. Is that all the applicants? I think so. I think we only got through three. And obviously I love Judas. Who did you like? I just like silver why that was predictable There's something to be said about a consistency the thing I'd love about the Judas character is you can set your watch to him Every time you know every time he gets mentioned you know that he's gonna come in he's gonna say something about silver He's gonna have that crokey voice. Let's try something. Yeah, Judas

I'll give you some silver if you answer all the emails. Yeah, I'll do your essay. I think we found our receptionist. I think we found our receptionist. Judas. Yeah. If I give you some silver, will you get us lunch? Yeah, okay, so are you gonna still walk away what you want. Hey Judas are you a building? Are you a goldfish? Are you a German man? Well then it's everything. Will you dress up as a panda and dance for us? You gonna give me silver of course

Yeah, I'll do it. He will do anything for a bit of silver. Will you betray? Son of God For the blue up. Yeah, yeah But I can't say Cut his hair. Cut his head off. Oh wow What if he will you feel bad if he gives you a little kissy? We give him a smile. Don't you kill yourself?

You know, he wasn't. I'll come myself and you'll give him a smile. Yeah. Will you lie to the the tunes, the Lurny tune basketball team, the tune squad? Will you lie to them and tell them that you're giving them Michael's like special juice, the Jordan's special juice. Like Bugs Bunny. Yeah, like Bugs Bunny did.

He's secret stuff. He's secret stuff. Michael's secret stuff. Will you lie to the Tune Squad, just give them water, tell them it's Michael's secret stuff so that then you can win against the little alien fuckers We give Mr. Silver We may have run out of silver at this point What about cash just a transfer of cash?

No, you can buy silver with that. I don't want silver. I don't want to Have things pretty clean. We're gonna need a lot of silver We need a lot of silver How much silver do you need, Piranha? Rub it on me. You want to still rub it on himself. Do you want to smelt that silver? Yeah, smelterer, put it in my ears.

So I think what we need, what we're gonna need is a butt ton of silver. I don't think, here's the thing. I don't think any of the applicants are perfect. And that's my concern. I think't think any of the applicants are perfect. And that's my concern. I think Judas is perfect except for the fact that we may have to spend the majority of our time mining silver. Yeah, and I'm okay with that. Well, that's if that's the way the business has to go to have a good receptionist, I feel like that's the way the business has to go. There's pros and cons to Judas is telling us to wrap up. There's pros and cons to every single applicant.

But yeah, I agree. I think Judas is really strong. Should we do some references first? I think we should. Maybe next week we'll call up some references for each of the four applicants. And they can be next week's podcast. Just talking to references.

Great. Okay. Well, I'm joined as next week as we find our receptionist. you you you you you you you you you you you you You've been listening to the Antidona podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rep episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week! you you you you