Aunty Donna Podcast - Three Brodens

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

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Friends, we are doing our last tour for a fair while with our brand new show, Drem. It's the funniest show we've made, in my opinion. Tickets are on sale now. Go to tour. Dot Auntie Donna.com. A listener production. Welcome to the Auntie Donna podcast, Into the 400s. The show is the worst it has ever been.

It is becoming consistently bad. Why are you listening? This week, Brodans joined by two other Brodens. Let's see what that's like. Here we go. Folks, welcome to the Auntie Donna podcast. I'm Broden Kelly and I'm feeling nervous about the world tour, which is about to take place. So to help me this week, I'm joined by two Brodens.

now that as a concept i don't really fully get um i haven't really thought that through i just know we need to talk about the tour and we have there was board caps in in the office but please welcome to brodans what's up hey thank you for having me i'm uh broodin number three and i am broodan number eight we had to we had to we had to kill a lot of the other broodens to now let's start there. There were 10 Brodons. Now there are four. For those of...

Two of them got away. Those that are just listening, they're both wearing bald caps because when we walked in today there was two bald caps and two Ray Ben like kind of aviata sunglasses in the room.

So we do, this podcast is done. Obviously we're a part of the listener network. You'd probably notice some of our ads have fun little, you know, we have little interactions now. That's because we're a part of the listener network, which is family. Family. And that is tied to... I would die for kickpod.

That is tied to the SEA radio. Some big radio... Triple M Fox. Big commercial radio gets recorded just down the hall from us when we do this. Now, we said to them, we're only signing on if everything that happens through this door, you can't touch it. And they said, we don't care. We don't care. Fine.

I don't think they know we exist. No. They said you can use our studio. They're doing us a kindness. And we will forever be grateful. Yeah. And we're in here doing this. But usually no huge crazy advantages.

They have a little coffee machine. But today we came in and there was like a pit bull thing. Kickpot is a massive like a million downloads a day kind of situation. Two very prominent social media women who have huge followings. Should I pose to you the train question, Broden Prime? The train tracks. So on one, you've got to, there's a train coming. Right?

And splits off in the two. paths and you've got a lever that'll decide what path the train will go down yeah on one track you've got kick pod tied up yeah and on the other track we have all of triple j everyone that works it yeah no sorry triple m yeah oh triple m rocks football triple m rocks football what uh where do you send the i'd kill mc miloy and the whole um the whole triple m team for sure because i love kick pod and great that's it's just that's a philosophical question they were they they they were in here earlier, apparently. No one comes near us when we're here.

Like, no one talks to us. We're down a hole. And there was, there was two, they, kickbot had been invited to an R&B night, is my understanding. I believe, Friday's with a, with a Z. I believe. At the end.

Jennifer Lopez. Mariah Carey. A Mariah Carey. There's some sort of, some sort of R&B night is happening in Melbourne, and to promote it, they were handing out bags of bald caps and sunglasses, to make you look like a musician called Pitbull, Pitbull.

And the costume came with the promise of three items, a bald cap, a pair of aviators, and a goate. And I, oh, and just, just as I was about to absolutely fucking rip on whoever parties together on Fridays. Before you make it a goatee. Oh, I can't make it a goate. Because I have a beard, you have a beard. Before you do that, can I offer my...

Can we get this on track? My goatee, I've given away what my plans are. To make you a little angry man. I would love that. And I'll do that now. This is not good podcasting, is what I would say. It's great if you are a member of the Patreon, and you can check that out. But I don't want to, I don't think if people don't have that, they...

Yeah, it's behind a paywall. I'm sorry for suggesting that. In fact, everyone that is a patron at the moment, cancel your subscription because the guilt is too much for me to handle. Is that fair? Welcome to the Auntie Donna podcast. Did you just say to everyone to cancel their Patreon subscription? I was just following your lead, man.

No, we can't use any of this. I was just following your lead. I thought that's where you were leading. You were going to. Do you know what I think this is, folks? Do you know what I think what we've done so, folks? I don't think this is a good podcast. I think this is a bonus podcast.

No. No, wrong. Now, I'm pretty upset with what you've just said to me about this being a bonus podcast. You look angry. And if people were a member of the Patreon or if they followed us on socials, I imagine this will be a bit of a clip that we can put on socials. You can see that at the moment, I'm kind of teed. Yeah, you look angry.

At the way you've suggested this to be a bonus podcast, when this is maybe some of the best Friday's content that's been made since the inception of Fridays. So Fridays being an R&B night that Pitbull, Mariah Carey... And also, I think, how apropos... Are involved with in some way? How apropos, on the second episode of the Cold Cuts era, to say, we are recording on Fridays at the moment after four days of big long days of working on our live show.

Developing Drem, long days, developing writing sketches, what we're known for. And I think it's worth noting saying Friday, in the same way the first and only time we ever banked, I think it's worth saying this is an era where we're recording on Fridays. And I think... It is the Friday era. And I think this is...

I think this is possibly the worst thing that's ever happened in the podcast. Yeah. As I sit here on a Friday, you with a bald cap on Mark, two pit bull goadies as, who'd I say? You just said Mark. I'm not Mark. You Mark. I'm sorry, I didn't know we were still going with that.

Oh, yeah. I'm pretty upset. I can tell because you've got two pit bull goadies as angry eyebrows. As I look across at you and then I look across at you, Broden, eight. Eight with your sonny's on and your bald cap with your hair creeping out the sides. I think what happened to us? Well, take your bean me off. Well, my head genuinely got cold.

It gets cold, doesn't it, when you shave your head? Do you want to go with your Broden? Like, do you want to run with your Where Brodens thing? Yeah, LeBrodin. Do you want to hear about Broden too? Please. So, before the technique of making many Brodens was, like, nailed down. Yep.

This is after, of course, I'm well building here. This is after, of course, the quantum split of actor David Wenham. Yep. After that occurred. Canon. A scientist was like, and a businessman was like, we can use this. And they said, Broden Kelly, he does so well on Auntie Donner. He does so well on the footy with Broden Kelly.

He does so well on his appearances on Triple M. He does so well. But there is only so much one Broden Kelly can do. Yes. And he said, Broden Kelly, if you give me exclusive rights to your clones, I will give you 50% of everything they own. Burned. Broden said 80%. He said 70%. You shook the deal. The technology was not there yet. So Broden too, while he looked exactly like Broden, was a psychopath.

Evil. Evil Broden. He killed people. He crunched their bones. He ate their flesh. Evil. Evil, but charming. I have one quick question for Broden. and eight not why did you answer no I'm just agreeing with you oh okay great

Broden Prime is also Broden 1 yeah so Broden 2 was the first of the Who am I your Broden Prime but also Brodham 1 yeah Broden 2 evil

and now remember how I said there are four Brodans the three of us and there's a fourth out on the loose that's Broden 10 they got out

we killed Broden 2 he's fine there's no threat there Brodentan's just a chilled dude, similar to you. We've set up traps in parks across Melbourne to train. Which is if we can, well, if we tell, we can't tell you. Because if we tell you, then potentially that information will transfer to his psyche. You understand.

Do why my sentience transfers into all your consciousness? Look, I don't know. This is unknown territory. Yeah. This is an unknown territory for us. And we can't take any risks telling Brod and. and prime what parks have traps set up for Broden 10. I'm not going to risk not catching Broden 10 for whatever reason you want to know.

The fact that you want to know, that freaks me out a little man. Can we be sure this is Broden Prime? No, we can't. We can't. Why? You could be Broden 10 tricking us. So depending on your number, your penis is split that many times down the center. So the only way we can know is if we...

What? If we take a peek. What are you saying, Ma? Broden? So with every subsuit. Sorry. Sorry. Broden.

Four. What the fuck, Broden 8? What are Broden 3? Yeah, I am. This is good stuff. Wait, let me check. Let me check. Let me check.

Zip? I was just checking how many tons of your penises. I know. I made a mistake at the start. I am Broden 4. my doodle has been split in quarters in quarters down the centre hung drawn and quartered so four splits but i am hung wait four splits four splits how many penises or how many one split makes two penises

two splits makes three penises what does you just make one split penises or five pieces of penis no four pieces of penis no one split two split two split three split You'll be you're saying you have four splits. So one split, four splitted. So Broden 2 has one split. Broden 2 has one split. Because he has two. Well, let's start with me.

I have no splits. You have no splits. You have one penis. No splits, one penis. We need to be sure of that. Broden 1. No, Broden 2 has one split. Two penises.

But they're not separate penises. Three, yeah, pieces of penis. Broden 3. has two splits, three penises. Brodom four, you have four splits, five pieces of penis. I think, is it not three splits? Four. But you said you have four splits at the start, so does that mean you're Brodom five?

I don't want to get into semantics here. Well, no, I think this is really important, because I'm sitting here going, are you Broden 4 or Broden 5? The way I thought it was, and look, I'm no scientist. How many splits do you have? what I have is four pieces of penis three splits makes you

brodom four okay great there was a bit of confusion so the split and this is a scientific algorithm that you can take home and use on your family it's split plus one

split splits plus one equals number of penises equals your broden number so if you're concerned about what broodin you are And I'm really upset about all of this, by the way.

To be clear, I am pissed. You also look like a tin-tin character. So, yeah, go on. I can't remember what I was saying, nor do I think it's important. Why? How many penis pieces do you have? Broden eight. So if you take the algorithm, I would have seven splits, eight pieces of them.

That's what you are saying you would. What do you have? Do you want to count? Do you want to recount? Oh, no. One. One split? No splits.

One penis. Oh my God. I'm Broden Prime. I'm the Broden. This is crazy. I'm the Broden that you know and love. The Brodent does fit in all the sketches that host footie. I'm the original Broden.

Do you see the twist that's happened to you? I mean, yeah. Yeah. I'm original Frodo. So then who the heck is this guy? Who the heck is it? But can you, that's crazy. My memory must have been white.

Yeah. When I was split into one and two. Oh my God. This is a good twist. It's a pretty good twist. It's a pretty good twist. How will Marnie and Tom feel? Well, I mean, they'll feel the same.

They've been doing footy with Broden for weeks with whichever one. I hope it's not the psychopath. Yeah. We need to, Brodham, we need to know what Brodyn you are and hear live on television. We need you to pull your pants down. This is crazy that it's nuts that this has happened on live television. And this is it crazy that on the episode with three Brodons, it's possibly the most Mark and Zach. All right, Broden, Broden, whatever number you are.

I don't want to. Get them dicks out. Well, okay, well, then we can't force. I will go to a bathroom with a registered representative from a medical association. Okay. No, because I agree. As Broden for three splits, I think it's important that always include that. Yeah, so, yeah.

Oh, my God. Broden's beautiful little house, that's my house and this imposter has stolen it from. That's always been your house until we see, because what if he has, what if he uh well i'm sure i've got to see his dick as well no why would he lie about this and we're all exactly the same yeah why don't we just take a little break so any one of us could be bro then prime why don't we take a little break go to an ad there's no way there's no way there's an ad but let's just hope for the best let's hope for the best go to an ad maybe if we throw to an ad now

Yeah Do not buy Anything else Yeah If there is an organisation backing in this show If anyone is backing in the cold cut era Yeah

Don Don hopefully Don Yeah Don Who else Don May Go to talk about Don May At some point

And he has a podcast now Does he Maybe he might make a reappear I'm asked for that. Maybe Steggles. Maybe Steggles. Go to the ad is right.

Go to the ad. Welcome back. So we're back. We've taken a little breather. I personally have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter which Broden is which. Whichever this Groton is, who is taking the role of Prime Broden and doing a stellar job of it. I don't have a split in my dick. Sure.

Because you might have, what I was going to say was what if his is, uh, just fat as heck. Well, you have to have a fat dig to be able to split it ten times. Or a really good knife. Yeah, like a pairing knife. No. Or a bread, like a baker's delight.

You know, they'd probably do it with 3D printers these days. You actually can't split it. You actually, it's impossible to split a dick more than seven times. You get to the atomic level. It's a multiplicative thing unless you got the fattest dick in town.

It's science. We can't keep doing these podcasts on Friday. I know, it's telling us. This has to be the last Friday podcast. Can't keep doing this. Well, we've got one more Friday podcast, and then we're going to have a meeting. Brodardin, yeah, you are about to go on tour. The calendar is tight.

The way, man, the calendar is fucking tight. Because we've got a tour coming out. We're going to England. I am, you aren't. No, well, well, we'll, we'll settle that in the court of law. What do you mean? Broden Prime, in quotation marks. I am Broden Prime.

Then show me your unsplit thing. It's, I can't, yeah, you can't just say, I'm Broden. All right. I've not seen. I'm Broden Prime. No, you're not, because you've got the angry eyes. Exactly. And the angry eye will.

Split three ways in twain. So I don't have the pleasure or the, maybe the authority to just say what I am. I had to show it to prove myself. I'd get mad. I saw his dick. Yeah. I feel like I'm being teamed up on here. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, with Brodons. Yeah, it's the internal struggle that we, as Brodons feel every day, personified and brought to life with the magic of. I guess theater in some ways. Yeah, this is theatrical. You know podcasts are kind of the theater of the 21st century? Theater of radio. The theater of the radio? Would that be fair to say?

The theater of the radio of the 21st century. Joe Rogan is our William Shakespeare. Yes, and there are rumors that Joe Rogan is actually an Italian man. It's not him at all. What? Oh, you're talking about the Shakespeare? Yeah, yeah. Shakespeare was it an Italian man?

There's a theory that he was Sicilian. From who? Sicilians, probably. Wikipedia. It's on there. It's not true, but there's a theory. Who cares as well? Everyone's like, you know, Shakespeare, could it.

Okay. Yeah, who cares? It doesn't matter. I'll go see his play sometimes. Plays are good. Doesn't really matter who wrote him. No, but whatever it was someone. Who gives a fuck?

I don't care. That changes nothing. Broden. Roden, Callie. I think of what difference does it make? Have you seen the movie? No, because I could care less. Oh, it wasn't William Shakespeare or someone else?

Okay. Okay. I'm never met. My life carries on in the exact same way that it always has. I'll go watch a William Shakespeare play. Doesn't fucking matter who wrote it. I matter. Broden.

Yeah. Who you're talking to? Broden Prime. Thank you for acknowledging. In quotation marks. Oh, in quotation man You know the saying No

It ain't prime Till we've seen that unsplit dick That is the That is the saying So Make your choice I don't want to see your dick No

I would rather not Also I have two splits in my dick What do you make of that angry Broden That he has two splits in his dick Yeah But that's confusing Because if he has two splits Then that makes him Broden three

I was tricking you all. You've been Broden 3 this whole time? What the fuck happened to Broden 8? When you said you were Broden 3, I got nervous. Yeah. And I didn't know what to say, so I said something. Hey, well, this is the thing about being Brodens is you ain't got to be nervous around us. You can be honest about how many splits there are on your dick.

you can be honest about your feelings on the inside in your heart. How is your heart? Good. How do you feel inside, inside your, I guess the womb, inside your own womb. What do you want by wound? The womb of, you can't, you can't use a different organ as a metaphor for another organ. Just the womb of your soul. Can you start, can you reframe that another way, that question?

Are you okay? how are you feeling just are you all right we're Bradens we're Bradens yeah we're great you know this is the thing

I'm great this is a great soul I'm upset well you're why are we upset I'm just furious all the time I'm

oh is this a Broden angry Broden thing or an all Broden thing well that's for you but it's more because he's got funny little angry eyebrows that are unmoving

and unchanging you can process whatever you want but this one is an angry one yeah Mark is playing angry Broden Broden Yes You wanted some advice

You're about to go on tour Yeah You're about to go to Where are you going You go on England UK USA Ireland

USA Canada New Zealand From what I hear Unless I'm wrong Australia Australia Australia Broden Yeah all of them

Lots of big venues Sure Now you wanted advice From us Brodans How should I I go about it and be the best broden I can be? It's about trusting yourself. You're a funny guy you've put in the years.

Yeah, you've put in the work, man. You've put in the work. You've put in that, you know, they say it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something. You've put in 10,001. Maybe many more. Probably more. You get on that stage. Just being the best broden, it's been the best broodon that you can.

that you can be and I ain't talking buzzing and making honey you're getting up there with two people you've worked with for the last over 10 years angry Brodans having some sort of panic attack I think no you're angry Broden you don't have panic attacks you're right because I'm I stay mad punch something and I'm pissed about the state of the world economy mostly wow he gives a shit Broden you're going to get up there you're going to be so funny I've seen some of the

I saw the whip I saw a whip of the show Yeah Work in progress Yeah work in progress of the show And it was really good Really funny It was tight man

It was tight But also like loose in a way I haven't seen you guys being years It was loose man Like you guys are having fun We No I'm talking about you and the other two I split off from you

Before you started working on this show We were peeking through the We were across On a roof watching through binoculars binoculars that we bought from a hardware store. Didn't think they'd have binoculars. Went in, said, you probably don't. You won't have binoculars.

Do we have to go to Aussie disposals? We asked if we have to go to Aussie disposals. And he was like, oh, let me check. And they had binoculars. Yeah, we stacked up on machetes and then we just got out of there. What? We got a bamboo problem on the Brodom property. Yeah.

So we need machetes for the bamboo. To keep the pandas away, not never going to hurt them. it's just like a get out of here type. Got to cut down the bamboo. Do you have any idea? Bamboo is like a weed. I mean, there are no weeds, right? What?

There are no weeds. What do you mean by there are no weeds? They say there are no weeds. Who says that? People. Who? I don't know. I don't agree with it.

What do you mean? They go, a weed is just an unwanted plant. There are no plants that are actually weeds. Well, that makes sense. What? That's a weed. I know, but no. No plants or weed.

I got into an argument where I was on your side with someone for a very long time. And then I just went, you know what? All right, there are no weed. How funny is it when people have... I can't say on this podcast. There are no weeds. It's an unwanted plant. Well, what's another way to describe it on what to plant?

A weed. Hey, I am on your side, man. There are no weeds. It's funny, right, because the weeds that I get in my garden, rodents. Well, there are no weeds. But by the, you know, if I were to define something as a weed, The plants that I define as a weed Yeah

Are just extensions of my lawn Growing into another area And I think that's a great Synecdochia, great metaphor For what a... Bamboo is not a weed in China It is a weed in Australia Yeah

Or it's a weed on our property I don't think a... I don't think bamboo's a weed It is on our property Same as blackberries That can be a word It grows, yeah It can be a problem

Any unwanted growth Sure they were big in the 2000s And sure they were outdated by the iPhone, but that doesn't make them a weed. Oh, he's talking about blackberries, the telephone device, a mobile telephone. I'm talking about a blackberry bush. The delicious blackberry bush. We live out on a property about 20 kilometres out from Dalesford. It's like a commune.

Yeah. We all pitch in. They say it takes a village to raise a Broden. And there are a couple of us out there. But Broden too killed most of us. Yeah, there's less now. It's just me and Broden. And Broden,

Broden, Tend. Well, we're hunting him down. Mostly because we need someone on, you know, looking after the cattle. And Broden and I, we're dealing with the bamboo problem. We're dealing with ants. We can't get rid of these ants. I'm using ant raid,

the powder and the honey syrup. We cannot get rid of these ants. Broden. I don't think Broden needs to hear about the Broden commune. I think Broda wants advice about his tour that he's about to do with Auntie Donner. You don't want to know about how the rest of us Brodans live? He doesn't care, man.

He doesn't care. Give me the cliff notes. Well, Brodard, well, it was a beautiful commune. Nine Brodons, all living in harmony. Harmony Brodyn. Our producer Lindsay does this show in Kickpod. Can you imagine her day of just like this show that is getting millions of views and like they're talking about the important,

and interesting things, and then walking in here. And then kick pod. And then coming in here to just literal mental ramblings, literal, unusable, unprofitable mental ramblings. And yet we are more popular than kickpod.

No. No. Oh. So, Broden. Oh, Broden. Go back. You were talking about the Brodick commune.

That makes me really upset. I don't think the Brodardt. deserves listeners. Broden come in is nine Brodens living in perfect Brodden harmony. Well, it was until the psycho. Still Psycho Broden.

It went crazy. Something snapped. Snacked. He killed so many of us. I still to this day remember the Broden screams of that night. Horrific. What is a Brodian scream something?

I don't want to go there. Bloody old out of you. Get out of here. Bloody drongo. You bloody bastard. Like so many of those screams And I couldn't do anything to help them I ended up fighting Broden 2

He nearly killed me But then Broden I came I shot him in the head With a double barrel shotgun And then once to get him off And then another just to confirm the kill Boom Double tap as zombie land

We've got to confirm the kill We pitched this We pitched making a movie about this to stand, but then when we ran the budget, in order to make nine brodens too expensive. Hey, you don't have to live there. We know it's fucked. You don't have to tell us it's fucked. We're there every day feeding the cows, cutting the bamboo, getting rid of the ants.

You don't think we don't think we know this is fucked up? We had to dig six Broden graves. You understand? I had to bury my Broden brothers. It's fucked up burying a broden And you've never had to do it Crime Yeah because you

Abandoned us You lived your perfect life You lived a life of luxury Yeah On your 80% from our earnings Do you know how hard that was on us And do you know how harded it Very

When I did Fisk I make 20% of that Yeah And we've got And all of us have a footy with Broden Kelly. Mine's called the footy with Broden Kelly three splits, four dicks. And it's not doing that good, man. Wow, well, because it's, you're, you've taken,

because Broden Prime has taken all the audience. No one wants to listen to the footy with Brod and Kelly three splits four dicks. What do you talk about on that show? Mostly his dick. Yeah, mostly just. Take about footy? A little bit. But I know, because.

I'm the part of Broden that despises the football. Why do you do the podcast then? Just stop it. It's just in me. It's in my nature. I'm a generator. We're all like that. I create.

I love to work. That's in me. We're all hard work. Soil toilers. Yeah. Yeah, we want to make good stuff. We want to, we don't want to let our audience down. The difference is when we split, you got all the good work ethic.

Like, you got the work ethic as well as the good ideas. We got the work ethic. But none of the good idea. Just bad. Just, why would I start another podcast called the footy with Broding Kelly three splits four dicks? Why would I do that? And I said that. And yet, and yet, it was, I must.

I must. I had to. I had no choice. It was like, the drive to go and book a studio, get a Tom. organize all that, but then as soon as it starts recording, you have nothing left. Yeah, none, nothing.

I'm talking to bamboo. My last guest was a bunch of bamboo that this guy cut down. I'm going to tie it up. And we got into a discussion about weeds or no weeds, and it was fucked. You ever tried to have a...

Was that who the argument was with a stacker? No, I was with an ex-girlfriend. Have you ever tried to have an argument with a bunch of bamboo that cannot speak? No. It's not a... entertaining Broden Prime.

For anyone? Broden Prime. I'm pissed. I'm so sick of it. I can see that. Broden Prime. Do you have any questions about touring? Oh yeah.

That we can give you on tour. How do we make a good tour for everyone coming to see the show this year? The shows are selling out across the board. Well, we've seen the show. It's so funny. It's tight. It's tight, but it's loose. It's tight in the right places.

Loose in the right places. All new stuff. Brand new. You're so funny. it's like I love the flow of it it really feels like a dream the other two not so much you're my favourite as well but I have to say I'm biased

my tastes align very yes mine too very succinctly with yours they just have fun up there you know you sound a lot like Zach and you sound a lot like Mark what do you mean? Well I mean we broke the like we broke it right at the top oh my god Zach has put off

oh we're doing this we're doing this for real yeah I thought we swore not to, but... Broden. Zach, okay, so Broden 8 is pulled off a wig and sunglasses to reveal Zach. Oh, Cap, Broden. And Mark is doing the same. He's keeping the angry eyebrows on, though. Well, that's the thing, Broden, that's the big reveal.

We are... These aren't fake eyebrows. Those aren't fake eyebrows. I'm not Broden 3. I'm Zach 3. And I'm pissed off Mark. So I'm a clode of Zach. that all that commune stuff

all that talk of a commune a beautiful commune but the second one was a psychopath killed everyone that whole story was true only difference was it was about Zach clones and I'm not a clone

I just had a bad morning so there's a commune there is a commune of Zach's should go around and apologize oh yeah yeah absolutely yeah I was planning on doing that pretty early on yeah is this the

have we apologize for all of the cold cut. Yeah, we apologize last week, I'm sure, but yeah, apologize again. Because if we didn't, I apologize for not, for not addressing it then. Let's bring it back to where we are now. So, the three Broden's idea, bad idea. Shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have indulged ourselves in going down a path that clearly we knew had no legs.

Again, even just the briefest of conversations. before we start recording, I think I just help the health and the longevity of the podcast and the idea and that needs to start happening. That change needs to be made as soon as humanly possible.

Otherwise, we're going to keep finding ourselves in this position. We're going to have to keep apologising. And I don't know how many sorries I have left in me before I'll just need to throw in the towel. So I am immensely sorry and I will do everything in my power to

make sure that we at least, we at least have a five-minute discussion about what the podcast will be before we hit record rather than just put some shit on our heads and just, and just go for it. And that's my promise to the audience. Zach? I'd like to open up that promise to the audience and say, if we ever don't have the capacity or the space to have a conversation, or if we only have a couple of minutes like we did today, I'll promise to go the opposite route.

We're not going to have a conversation. I think if we had started with no conversation, we wouldn't have put on these bald caps and locked ourselves into possibly the worst 30 minutes of my life. Yeah. Now, here is my guarantee to you. We will always endeavour to have a lengthy conversation about what the podcast will be about. Yes.

If we ever find ourselves in a situation where we can't do that, we will not have a one-minute conversation. and then lock ourselves into a bad idea. In future, we will either have a big conversation or just jump right in and move on if the idea isn't working. I knew from about a minute in that the Brodard, three Brodard's idea wasn't going to play, at least how we were doing it.

Yeah. But I locked in and I continued to do it, and I just want to apologise for that. I also want to apologise to Mark and Broden. I was a little bit late today and I think maybe I was quite late and I think maybe if I had not been so late

we could have had a conversation so I want to apologise to you guys for that quite sincerely and I want to apologise to Lindsay Yes Our listeners are fucked in the head They're choosing to listen to this Lindsay you come in every week

Every Friday We'll see about it Yeah, well, anyone remaining, Lindsay, you don't have that option. And I apologize that we made you sit through that. And we've made you sit through all of the Friday episodes. It's Friday. Lindsay's got the weekend on her mind. Wants to go...

R&B show, maybe. R&B show maybe. Then has to sit through this fucking shit. So, Lindsay, I apologize to you. Burden. Oh, just from the bottom of my heart, it's sincere apology to all our listeners. to you guys for, I guess not speaking up and saying, hey, this isn't going anywhere.

Yeah, maybe we shouldn't do this. It's important that you do that. Yeah. You're the voice of reason. Yeah. And I thought, you know, I thought with three Brodans. Yeah, there'd be so much reason. Yeah, I thought with three Brodans, we would,

but I think we hit a logjam of reason, you know? Yeah. It was that too much reason. It was like a sign. It was like a wave, two waves canceling each other out. But then it was three waves. So it should have come back round to reason. And to be very clear, if anyone out there is having log jam on their toast,

it is just, it's not the right thing to be making jam out of. It is barky and tasteless. So please, if you're hitting log jams the way we are, switch to strawberry, you'll have a much better time. Why you, why? Wait, are you talking about log jam? I just say Mark's fallen. Mark feels such self-angor and disdain for doing that bit.

It's just the eyebrows. Well, let's ask Mark. Mark, how do you feel about the long jam bit? Look, it's one of those things where it's a Friday. Why not roll the dice? When you're at the bottom of the bottom, when you're losing your audience the kickpot of all pods. Kickpods good, man.

I know it's wonderful. And I don't think we're losing our audience. I think we've got very different... No, I think we've got very different demographics. I reckon people are switching off and going on the kickbox. No, I think they're switching off, but I think they're going on a better comedy podcast. Maybe. Maybe.

I guess there's only one way to find out. I don't know. I don't know what that is, but there's probably only one way to find out. How do you know? Probably by asking someone. That's probably the only way? Are you certain there's no other way? I think there's a few ways.

What would they be? Getting Kickpod to ask their audience. But that's asking someone? A survey. I guess they're all versions of asking someone. Reading the data, looking at the data. I'm getting really upset. I don't know if you can tell about the data.

The way this conversation is going. I did a little thing about log jam. Which, to be fair, don't eat jam made out of logs. That's not a crazy thing to say. say right because it's barky and tasteless well yeah it's true i have taste i like the idea it's barky and tasteless what is this a uh a what is this a um a new york comedian that's also a dog yeah yeah or uh like a you know um yeah like a theater show at uh at at dark mofo but the cast is full of dogs barking tasteless you understand what

A lot of nudity and... Forty minutes. Wow. Unnecessary. We kept digging. It's unnecessary. Unnecessary. It's funny.

I keep digging and the sky gets further away. I know. It's crazy that we haven't stopped to build a ladder to get us out of this hole. Next week, Broden tried getting advice from two Brodens. Didn't work. Didn't work. Maybe next week, Mark could get some advice from, South African Sands.

No, I don't know. No. Really? We don't think that's going to work? Look, that's up to you, boys. All right, find out next week what we decided on. Have a great week. Please stick around.

Don't leave us. We'll die. It's a very important part of our financial sort of plan. This podcast is being successful. To which I would say, then don't do it on Fridays. Mark. Why is it me? Why am I in trouble?

Don't worry, guys. I'll wrap this up beautifully. Thank you. And that's another episode of the Auntie Donner podcast. We'll catch you next week and stay. Oh, fuck. We've got to get out. Come on.

We've got to get out of this. Give me a go. Give me a go. You got a go. You got this. Now, that was pretty crazy. But we know that the darkest thorn is always before bad time good. But now we're going to get... Dilley. Mark.

I got this. I got this. Would you say delete? No, because he said Dilley instead of the... It just made me laugh. Well, well, well, another incredible episode of the Auntie Donovan podcast. We've had so much fun this week with three Brodans. What a crazy character.

the cavalcade of mystery and fun we've been on. Please join us next week or not, but we would prefer if you did. You were so glad. I had it, I had it, I had it. I fucking had that. I'm sorry I made us do this on Fridays. You did it. Didn't I?

No, it wasn't you? Oh, okay. I was taking the mind, I was taking the role of the audience member. I was being their conduit. Yes. I was speaking to all of Auntie Donna that made this decision. Well, I'll tell you why we're doing it on Fridays because we're working hard on Drem.

So as bad as this podcast was, it's as good as the Drem will be. No, I think we're pretty tired across. Yeah, no. Pretty tired boys, yeah. All right, bye. In case you're interested, three out in the last. 30 days, 3,517 kickpod listeners.

Also download an episode of the Antagoner Podcast. What? Yeah. We're siphoning their audience? Are you recording you talking now? I'm still recording. Can you hear yourself in this? Are you in the recording?

My track is being recorded. That's the ending. That's the ending. 3,000 people listen to our podcast and kickpod. That is, I want to. Who is that? Shocking. Who the fuck are you?

Shocking. Who are you? If you're one of those sick individuals. What is your life? Who are you? But with beautiful skin care regimen. I need to know your hobbies immediately. Yeah, you got your shit together at home, but inside your mind you are ill.

It's the dark secret. Reach out and we'll speak to you soon. You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie Donna Club.com. See you next week.