Aunty Donna Podcast - Zach Was 10 Minutes Late To The UFC Press Conference

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Zach ‘The Fucker’ Ruane vs Mark ‘Fucky’ Samuel Bonanno.   LINKS  Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS   Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener production. Folks, this is an exciting one. This is a testosterone fueled crazy episode. It is the press conference before the battle between Mark and Zach. No more needs to be said. Just go to Auntie Donna Club dot com to join our Patreon and enjoy this episode. Hello, Las Vegas and already primed for tomorrow's bout. They've been building this bout up for the last 30 weeks of the United Fighting Champion League. League. Ship.

The Champion League. League ship. And these two hate each other. I'm going to rev them up. I'm the head of the UFCL. What's your name? Broden. Broden? Crunton.

Crunton. And I, folks, you've all, all you dead shit men have come here from around the world you pissant losers have come here with your tiny arseholes to see a fight that you'll remember for the rest of your life and these two shan't disappoint because by god they hate each other. Call me Edward because I'm hungry for blood. Oh, I was, oh okay. Our first cont- and the first, this shows how much they hate each other. If I'd just waited one moment I would have known to wait to come in. If I just held my tongue for but a moment.

Shut the fuck up man, or else the next fight will be you and I. Betwixt in battle. Do you want that? I do not want to be betwixt in battle with you. I'm afraid I will be beaten by submission. To show how much these two fighters, snarly, brawny, oily with fuck, how much they hate one another. Oily with fuck? One has not even shown up for the press conference. He's refused. He's disobeyed his UFCL contract and not even... maybe Lindsay later you add in some cheering

or some crowd ominous noise. Maybe later. One has foregone his contract agreements and not even shown up for the press conference, which he is... he's in need of doing he's in need of doing and that is Zack he's not shown up who knows if he will show up I'm pissed but first the reigning world champ I gotta stop just jumping in please I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry. First is the reigning world champion of UFCL. His dick is wide. He's a grappler. He is a... Yeah, I get my hooks in ya. He's a... He's a... A grapple hook. He's a Sicilian. Yeah, you can say that. He loves salty and sweet and he loves the contrasts of them. I do and I'm excited to try those Jatt's Tim Tams that you messaged me about the other night. I'm sorry, I was jerking off at the time when I got the message so I didn't respond.

Thanks for replying. I had to finish up. I had to finish up. I was right in the middle of one of the most intense wanks I've ever had. Your little picture came up of you holding some Jatt's Tim Tams. And then what happened? I came. Please welcome the schnarling Mark.

What did you call yourself before? Mark. But the something you were like, you were like they blud the blood. Oh, call me, call me, I think it's, is it Edward? Call me. Mark Edward Cullen Bonanno. Bam! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Then you can hear him pounding meat together there.

I just came off. Is that true, the story about the photo with the Jats and the Tim Tams? That I was jerking off and your photo came up and I came immediately when I saw it. No not that bit but then you were, the photo came up. No I wasn't jerking off but I was doing something, I think I was watching my partner play Dark Souls 3 and I was you know just. Mark tomorrow you go into battle, what can we expect? Tell me what happened when I fought Jake Paul.

Tell me what happened. I was sick that day. Yeah, you were. I had, I was, my mum had a choir performance on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went to that in queue. I missed it. But I heard it was brutal.

I split his little YouTube throat in half. And I stuck my willy in it. And I pissed. And it came out his mouth and nose and then I sewed him up. And then I went, how many, how many views is that going to get on your fucking little channel? That's incredible. And he couldn't speak anymore because I'd removed his larynx while doing that. So that's incredible.

And then I, I served my time for that. You went to jail? I went to jail. I served my time. I did 25 years but now I'm back. Yeah! And I'm, I don't know if you can tell by the tone of my voice but I'm I'm rip roaring ready to go. I just had a coffee. It's cut through me. It's cut through me like a knife. Are you revved because you had a coffee or because you're fighting to the, fighting UFC All-Champ out tomorrow? Oh, I am ready to just take Zack's face and do all kinds- You wanted to say cock. No. No, I didn't actually. I didn't actually.

Oh, I'm sorry. I want to take his face and like a child in kindergarten given a puddle of Play-Doh. Do you call it a puddle? A puddle? A puddle? A puddle? This is different to a UFC press conference for me. The puddle stuff. This... No, it just, in terms of, you know, like if you get a thing of Play-Doh, your pound and that thing, you're making it into your own, you're you know putting your own image into the dough. It's quite godly. You're gonna make Zach, you're gonna treat Zach like play dough huh?

No I'm gonna bring him some and just see what he can come up with because it shows a lot of you know that tells me a lot about him. Yeah and then when he's distracted with the playoh and he's learning about his motor skills. Hmm. Shin kick to the fucking neck. Oh! What's the, what is it with you and necks? I just, it's a great place to uh, it really shocks him. Really shocks him you get him in the neck.

It's very lioness. It's a very lioness thing to do and I've always connected with the lioness. Yes, Mark the lioness banana. Yes. Bam! I love to eat and fuck and fight. Now, Mark, tell people about your training. Where did you train to become the world champion? I trained from Werribee to Melbourne every day on the metro line. No, that's not what I meant. Oh, oh. I'm not talking about public transport.

Oh, oh, okay. Where was your martial arts skill acquired? Is it boxing? Is it like that going through that matrix bit? Drunken boxing, jiu-jitsu, kung fu. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes to all of the above. Why not? Why not? No, but what is your training?

Yeah, right. So what happened to me was when I had the real world revealed to me, right, there's a man there. I can introduce you to him. He looked at me when I was learning Kung Fu. He looked at a friend of mine and he said, he's a machine. Because I learned, I plugged my head, you know what I'm saying? You're just describing them.

You're describing, you're telling the story of the Matrix from the perspective of Neo. Yes, and that's how I learned all of my fighting skills. You didn't go to like... You think that's air you're breathing? Yeah. Oh. Did you not go to a dojo or like a... I went to a dojo. I went to a dojo. Absolutely.

Tell me about the dojo! Well, in the dojo, the sensei... I had to challenge the sensei for ownership of the dojo. And I did. Turns out that wasn't really the sensei. It was more just the real estate agent. And I was inspecting a sort of commercial property. But I fucking kicked the shit out of him. And he went, oh, he gave me the keys.

And now he pays my rent. And I fuck his wife while he watches. I can't wait to get Zack in a headlock. And you tell me you went to a, you went to a commercial property inspection. A dojo. Yeah. Was it a dojo or was it? It could have been retrofitted to be one for sure.

Yeah. You could have turned it into a dojo. There were mats on the floor. What else? There were nunchucks. Okay, yeah, yeah, nunchucks. This is feeling like maybe a dojo. Yeah, in a room.

Or a combat of some sort. They were fashioned out of lead pipes and twine. What are you talking about? The nunchucks. What are you talking about? The nunchucks! What are you talking about? The nunchucks! There were some nunchucks fashioned from lead pipes and twine! In the rental place that you were looking at?

Yeah, I believe it used to be a uh, a doughboys. I believe it used to be a doughboys. What are you talking about? The commercial property used to be a donut shop called doughboys. Yeah. Devastated when that closed down. Now gonna go all the way to Fitzroy. That's why that doughboys is closed as well. Are you kidding me? I need to hit someone! Fuck folks. I'm fired up now. The disrespect that Zack has shown by not... When I was worried when Zack didn't show up for this fight press conference,

but you are bringing the heat. Where am I going to get my old fashions from? Is it in a cocktail? No, the donut. Oh, which one is donut time? No, no, no, no, doughboys. I think it's doughboys. With a D-O-U-G-H? I believe so. I believe so. Are they the ones that were everywhere and they shut down, like the green? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no then you don't, no, no, is there? Doughboy's Donuts, yeah.

Really? Yeah. Oh, I'm hungry for doughnut. Fucking hell. I'm hungry for doughboys. I'm as hungry for doughboys as I am hungry, as my, uh, as my fists are hungry for the taste of skin, uh, uh, that they, uh, that they so desire and they will taste the skin of Zach when they hit him as hard as I can.

I won't be holding, this is the thing, I won't be holding back my punches. Are you aware of this? No. What's going on? I'm just getting word from outside that Zach has arrived. He's in the building. That disrespectful little bitch. Oh my god. Oh my god. Zach is here. He is walking the disrespect. He's walked into this press conference about ten late. Ten late.

Oh, he's taking off his jacket. He's taking off his jacket he's taking off hanging it on the back of his showing his muscles Jesus Jesus Christ he's he's looking at him there was shit he slipped in his chair a bit I'd like that to be the tick-tock for the week I think what happened there was that you know how the chair goes up and down yeah I think that bit of the chair is broken he's changed and he sat down the chair the chair goes up and down with the little, I think that bit of the chair is broken. He's changed his chair. And as he sat down... The chair! The chair that Zach came to sit in.

The chair broke a little. It has really undercut the intensity of the character, I'm not gonna lie. This is now... He's keeping the confidence and the muscle element about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's chewing the fake gum or real gum, I'm not sure. He hasn't broken... Character.

Yeah, like he's- He's being an absolute pro because the chair he had, it was broken. Yeah. And now he's looking at me sort of like- This is what they would do though. They would like to scratch my- Yeah, it is, it is. It is what they would do.

If the chair was a bit broken, they wouldn't sit there and let that happen. They just confidently go get another one. The arrogance of this man. Zach, welcome. Where have you been? I'm so sorry. I'm like It's alright. It's alright man happens to the best of us Where have I been I thought it was an arrogance thing like yeah, you know it was it was it was an arrogance thing

I was um, I Didn't even respect you really Yeah, that's that that this is I'm be honest, that hurts my feelings a little bit. Yeah, well I'll tell you, it'll be more than your feelings are hurt when we get into the octagon. Oh, just the ring, just the ring. Octo- octopus. Into the octagon?

Into the octagon? Get into that cage. I would like to do an octopus battle against you. I want to get inside a slimy little sucker. Let me introduce. And then beat the shit out of you in there. Let me introduce. They have beaks.

The challenger tomorrow at the fuckdome. Yeah. He's 8 foot 9. Oh, because I'm the... Champion. I'm the champion. He's got big muscles. He, uh... Sharp nips.

What else do I know about him? Sharp nips. Sharp nips. He, if he's... Oh no, you blunted them out? I blunted them out. He, if he finds a chair with a weird back on it, he won't suffer that. No.

He'll change it out. Yeah. Um... He likes... Wearing black with a singlet. Yeah, I like linen. He wears linen year round. He wears linen year round. Pants or just shirt?

Uh, jeans and linen shirt. Docs. Doc Martens, if Doc are listening. Yeah, has a large collection. Oh, sorry, that's your job. Has a large collection. No, don't rev up your opponent. I'm just saying, has a large collection of Doc Martens. If Doc... Can we say what you're about to say? If he loves Docs... Oh, that's your job. Yeah, no, don't rev up your opponent. I'm just saying, there's a large collection of Doc Martens.

If Doc, can we say what you're about to say? If he loves Docs. Oh, that's a great one. And he's hyper, he can hyper it. Oh, he's hyperallergenic. Yeah, you can't do that. You know how they always look like they're gonna snap their fucking, I mean, you know how we always look like we're gonna snap each other's joints and whatnot?

Yeah. Can't do it because I'm home recency. Give him Doc Martens, please introduce Zack the fucker, Ruwayne. You didn't want to just play music? No. Let me say thank you so much for having me. I'm gonna fucking destroy you in the ring tomorrow. Good luck. I am going, you are going to be crying. Guys, stop.

Good luck. I'm gonna get up in your face. What sort of shorties are you wearing? Pardon? What sort of shorties are you wearing? I was gonna wear little, I got a sponsorship from Reebok. Oh nice, yeah. And I was gonna wear nice little, quite revealing, but also just good to move in.

And they've got built in undies. Mine are like skin tight, like they're really tight ones with like a lot of junk support, but then they've added like a layer of flappy on the sides. Oh nice. Yeah, it looks really nice. It looks like a flappy short, but it really has has that aerodynamics that you need with the tighter pair. Kit. Now, Zach, your upbringing is not a walk in the park.

No, I had a working class upbringing. And my only way out was to fucking kill people in cages. Yes. So I'm very excited to be here. And I bring that passion, even though I'm, I stand to make four million tomorrow. Mm. Minus tax.

Minus tax. And obviously, an agent fees. Yeah. Yeah. You probably only- Festival managed venue. Yeah, because it's a festival managed venue. They take about 25%.

Yeah. You'll probably in your pocket only see about 1.2, 1.3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2.4 by my leg, but back of a napkin. Are you doing merch? Yeah, right. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, you got it. www.auntiedona.com.

You'll be seeing- And not a merch link, yeah. You'll see that like that can't, but then also they'll fucking take a bit of that. They'll take, they'll give you a- Well, you guys take quite a bit. Yeah. And fuck you, all of that. Nice, yeah. But no fuck you, all of that.

Nice, yeah. But no, yeah, working class upbringing. What were your electives at school? When I was there. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you dropped out. Yeah. Yeah, because you're stupid and I'm going to kill you.

Oh my god. Hey Mark, wait your turn. Why? Why are these rules and these regulations? I'm a wild animal. I'm like a wolf in a den in a box. In a pool. I'm gonna fucking snap your neck, cunt. Good luck trying to, because I removed my neck.

Oh, that's the way they do it. For sex reasons. Yeah. You removed your neck for sex reasons? Yeah, yeah I did. Yeah, yeah. Well, you think I want to turn my neck when I'm fucking? No, I want to turn my whole body. Oh, the Batman? Yeah, yeah I did. Yeah, yeah. Well, you think I want to turn my neck when I'm fucking? No, I want to turn my whole body. Oh, the Batman?

Yeah, like the Batman. Oh, I thought you removed it so like you could like, see what I was envisioning was like a snake-like neck that could suck yourself off, like Mr. Fantastic, like, woo-roo. Yeah, no, no, no. That's adding neck. Yeah, no, I guess I thought you were keeping neck but removing any of the cartilage and muscles. This is what happens when you don't go to school. You don't understand. Mark, stop! Yeah, no, I guess I thought you were keeping neck but removing any of the cartilage and muscles This is what happens when you don't go to school. You don't understand mark stop. All right, you're elective Zach, please

Honestly, I did leave school in year 10 in carry. I stayed till you 12 in character I in character this sort of you have this act is a high school graduate everyone. I know Hey, leave it. Fine. So, yeah, so I dropped out in year 10, but I think maybe I did media in year 9. Why did you say to beaver? Well, you said, no, you said leave it and then it took me a little bit. My instinct was to go to beaver immediately.

This fight is going to be brutal. But leave it to beaver. Do you know my new move? Oh pleasure I close my eyes here is close your eyes mark he's gonna hear it yeah I want I can't yeah his new move folks he has a new move which he is bringing to the octopus tomorrow what is it I'm gonna do this thing where I kind of like it looks like it it's going to be a punch, but I open up my hand and essentially I like rip his head around and I slam him onto the floor. How are you grabbing onto his face?

So it looks like a punch. So he's doing like a punch kind of defense. I don't know the words for it. You can ask my coach about that. And then I kind of grab his head with my hand, lift him from the neck and then slam his head against the floor. There's like an 80% chance I'll break his neck. And that's, but you'll win. Oh yeah, I'm feeling pretty confident with this move.

You know, I think we're going to see a couple of Ronda Rousey type games from me for the next couple. Yes, who are your top five fighters? Me it's got to be Ronda Rousey. It's got to be Conor McGregor, can't go past... Mike Tyson. That's boxing, you fool. But this is, anyone can enter the UFC.

Yep. It's true, it's like freestyle. You can be a boxer if you wish. Fun fact about freestyle, and it is relevant to UFC. Keep it kind of intense. Yeah, oh yes, yeah. I'm pissed. I'm, and it is relevant to UFC. Keep it kind of intense. Yeah, oh yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pissed.

My blood is boiling. I'm gonna fucking break your shoulder, cunt. Why? Because I'm gonna twist it around and if you don't fucking submit, I'll break your shoulder. I'll submit. If I'm in pain and you've got me beat, I'm happy to submit. I'm not gonna... Yeah, great.

Yeah, but as long as you do the same. No, maybe not. Really? Maybe not. Because I'm going for the eyes here. I won't be happy unless I leave the ring with one of your eyes in my hand. So my story, my narrative here is that I came from a working class and it's real to me, but I was, I mean, my dad was a manager of the power station. So I was sort of working. Oh, I was low. I was middle. Is that what you were covered in the ooze that gave you powers? No, that's a daredevil. Very similar. My dad was a butcher, but he was in charge of the sausages.

So is that what you got that sausage meat on you? Yes. So I'm. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I got sausage meat on me and that's how I got my pork powers. I called myself middle class and then I got a job on Chapel Street and I was like, wait,

you call yourself middle class? And then I was like, I don't know what middle class is. Well, I have the powers of a hog. I don't know if you guys are aware of this. Now, that's a good opportunity. Now tell us all about your hog powers, which have made you the champion, reigning champion for so long. Well, when I roll around, Please, sir. No, it's alright.

When I roll around in filth, I just get euphoric. Just like so happy. You give me a fucking mud bucket. And then that just really brings me to life. That's when I'm at my best. Any party, any kind of social event where there is a pit of filth, I roll around in and I am my best self. Okay. Also, I will just, I will eat through bone like butter.

That's okay. And does that help you in the ring? Not really, because I don't want to eat his bones. Why not? I just want to beat him. I just want to beat him up. I just want to beat him up. I don't want to, I don't want to open him up and eat his like, his spinal cord.

But if you, I'm just positing as the runner of this, if you threaten to eat his bones, he might be too scared and he'll put on a weak performance. Do you want me to threaten to eat your bones? What bones are you least attached to? Not limbs. It's different. Limbs? I'm saying not limbs. But bones are in limbs. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But you don't like your shin bone? Yeah, I understand. Do you know what I'm saying? I would say I'm happy to lose a couple of lower ribs. Why? Oh, Marilyn Manson. Why a couple of lower ribs? Marilyn Manson.

Because my thinking was, like, I'm sure I'd survive. If I lose my, like, femur, you know, I'm going to, like, have some trouble there. There are a thousand bones in your hand. Oh, yeah, bones at the end of my little finger. Yeah, end of my little finger. No you've already picked it. Take the ribs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a surprise. Something's up here. Something's up. Now Mark, what are you gonna do to Zack in this fight? He's told us about his secret weapon where he rips your face off or like turns your head and slams you. Yeah. What's your secret? I'm just gonna fuck him. He's gonna be fucked. I'm gonna slap him around.

You slap his only? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slap be fucked. I'm gonna slap him around. You slapers only? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slapers only. I was gonna maybe use the Silence PP7. Do you subscribe to slapers only? Like if this was a slapers only, do you consent to that? Slapers only. Slapers only. Slapers only. See, my manager said to me, I said, I think it'll be really fun if I'm late, because that will be like a power move. Yeah, it was great theatrically. Yeah, and then my manager said, but what if they bring up like

different rules or game styles in that 10 minutes? Do you want me to keep track, send you a text? Which he did, but I didn't check it before I came on. So I don't know what's slappers. Did you establish slappers only while I was away? No, no, it's a Nintendo 64 thing. Well, I wasn't know what slappers, did you establish slappers only while I was away? No, no, it's a Nintendo 64 thing. Oh, well, I wasn't playing Nintendo 64. I was beating people up in cages.

Well, that's a worry. That's what that is. So can I say something about this motherfucker? Wow. Right here. This old man had an opportunity to retire last year. He had an opportunity to take a cushy little job. He could have been sitting in your chair.

Instead, he chose to keep going past his prime. I respect this man. I've always respected this man. I've always thought of this man as someone I look up to as a mentor. And I didn't wanna be the one to take his crown, but I'm going to rip it off his fucking head tomorrow. That's really good.

What Zach's just done is really, really good storytelling. And that's what this is. This is theatre. Do you know what it's not that different to wrestling and I do watch a little bit of that from time to time. And I do respect that. I do. Shakespearean.

I respect that. Shakespearean. I respect what Zach said to me. But all I heard out of his mouth just then was, from a little baby. That's not what he said. From a little baby. And you know what I'm going to do to that little baby? I'm going to boil him up and I'm going to eat him like I've done with every baby I've

come across in my life. That's why that was my second sentence. That's what I served my second 25 years for. This guy is unhinged. Now two things that really worry me is firstly, I need to know, like take the veil off. Yeah. What he just said, did you actually hear him saying goo goo gargoyle?

I heard the spluttering and the gargling of a baby, of a small baby. That's genuinely worrying because I heard everything he said. Really? And if we go back and listen to a recording, like he was saying words and sentences and things. No. Have you seen Late was saying words and sentences and No. Have you seen Late Night with the Devil yet? No. Does it go back and watch the recording with that?

It's really good. All right. I don't know what that is. Well, I'm excited to see it. That movie. I thought that was a reference. And the second thing for me is you want to see Unhinged? You want to see Unhinged?

Come to my house and look at all my doors. I have taken them all off. It's true, I visited you. I can't handle them. I was trying to get to the second point, now I have an extra point. So I have three points. I've addressed the first one. The second one is you kill babies? No, I don't kill them. I boil them up and I eat them. You said every baby you come across you boil.

Yes, but people keep them away from me because they know I do this. So have you ever done it? Do you only come across dead babies? No, I me because they know I do this. So have you ever done it? Do you only come across dead babies? No, I don't know how to explain this. I don't think I want you to explain. But I need answers because you said you went to court for this. I went to jail.

OK. OK. Oh, he's back from jail, Zach. I am back from jail. Oh, OK. I served my time and I learnt my lesson. Now I'm a productive member of society. I should have played on the jail thing. Feel free to. Did you go to jail? You can have gone to jail.

You're gonna wish you're back in jail. No, no, no, no. No, trust me. No, no, no. You could kill me and I wouldn't ever wish to go back there. No, I am implying that. In fact, I hope you do kill me so that then I never end up back in prison. He seems to hate jail. It was not okay. I did not have a good time there.

I shouldn't have boiled that baby. I shouldn't have boiled it up. And I know that now. Prison was punishment. Is prison punishment? It was delicious. Is prison punishment or is it removing you from society for society's sake and protection? As that little taco girl said, why not both? Yeah, el stubble del ropo.

But is that, why not both? I think if the government must have a position of clear clarity. What is the purpose of prison? It shouldn't. I mean, what right do we have? It's supposed to be about... Oh wait, no, I'm... Is the death penalty punishment or is it removing... It's punishment. It's punishment.

I believe it's a bit barbaric. But I believe it's about... It's supposed to be about rehabilitation. Did you say barbaric? Yeah. Um, that's what I'm going to do to you? Barbaric? Barbaric. Oh yeah, call me Ishmael.

But at the end of this you're gonna be calling me Ishmael because I got a big white whale that I'm gonna bring the blubber of and sell it for a profit and then use that money to buy a gun and shoot you in the mouth. How do you respond to that? It's funny that you can't hear the words out of my mouth because tomorrow the only thing coming out of your mouth will be your blood. I'm going to fucking kill you. There'll be a bit of cum in there as well.

I just store some in a little... Not gendered cum either? No, no, no, just this guy. Just whatever. This guy is fucking ugly. I'm not. I am just... I'm trying to like, intimidate you and... You are, like you actually are, you know, like I really... I feel uncomfortable going into the cage with you. Why? Why? Why?

Well you've said, he's like, you're gonna spit out blood, you made him feel weird about it. Yeah, yeah. It's very effective. Do you wanna do the fight or do you wanna can it? Oh no, no, yes I will do the fight. I'm going to try. I have no other option really. For that 1.767 or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to know I'll be trying to smooch you just softly on the cheek every time we grapple. Oh well, who knows, you know, a little smooch. Yeah, not as like a, just as like a, just to let you know everything's going alright. Yeah, like a little. I love a little.

That I'm not taking it personally. Cause I don't take any of this personally. I can't. This is not how I thought this would go. I sold myself. What do you want us to do? I want like violence and like better pay per view tomorrow. Oh yeah.

I want to pay for the pay, better get on KO and pay for this. What are the odds by the way? The odds. Can you look up the odds? The odds are against. Genuine question. Cause I might pulp fiction you, depending on the odds. Oh like you're going to fake it. Don't say that. Like which bit in pulp fiction?

Well that's the big reveal. You're going to snort. It's either going to be the bit where Bruce Willis- No, I don't want it off! No, it's either- Oh man, this guy's fucking uninjured. Well, let's just- let's end this press conference. Why? Because it's almost a time to end it. Is it? And it has to end with you both getting up and fighting. Like and go, I'm gonna kill you tomorrow! Real question.

And we've got to get the photo as well. Real question, who do you think would win between me and Mark in a UFC fight? It's hard. I'm bigger, which has a huge amount of advantage, but this guy. I don't know. I feel like both of us could snap. Really it just depends who snaps first and if that snap sustains. That's the paper.

Because you do have the, if you get on top of me, it's all over. There's nothing I can do. But if I snap and it doesn't result, because my fear is that I snap, I start winning, but then that makes you snap. And if you snap, I'm in trouble. So I've got to snap just enough. You're the world champion. I'm talking about in real life.

I've got to snap just enough that I don't cause you to snap. Because if you snap, it's all over. And if neither of us snap, it's all over for me. Well, now let's, let's close it out now. What do you think of that? That's a shot of tomorrow. Yeah. I got a little horny.

Now let's end this press conference, let's end this press conference with saying one you've been so brutal at each other, you've been so brutal at one another. Yeah we have. Let's say one nice thing about each other. Oh okay. Listen um oh I like your mother, Listen, um, I like your mother. She's a good person. Oh, that's rude. What? Go on. No, I'm going to be real here. You don't like Madeline?

Well, no, I think he's- I was implying that. He had relations. Oh. And I haven't. You know, I genuinely, genuinely, if you were dating my mother. I think you would take some issue with it. I'm trying to think if I genuinely would and I don't think I would.

I know you and I know every human being. You would take issue. My issue would just be is I don't think personality wise you're that compatible. But if you were. Madeleine and Zach. Yeah. If I started dating your mother, you would be like. But if you were... Madeline and Zach. Yeah. If I started dating your mother, you would be like... That's enough of this. I don't know how I

feel about this. At the very least. If it made my mum happy... Now is Mark... Oh wait, no, I do want to say something nice. Okay. And I said it before, you know, you're a really great fighter, or you were at least. Yeah. A little backhand compliment there. You were. In your prime, I would never have been able to beat you. I think it's a shame, yeah, that you keep fighting. This is nagging. I just want to say that tomorrow, when this guy is unconscious, bleeding out of the mouth with

a broken shoulder and severe neck injuries, I won't be proud. There would, there is no one that I would feel better taking the crown from. There you go, that's lovely. And Mark, to close us out. I think you are a great fighter. I've seen you, I've watched all your fights. Thank you. I've analysed your style. I've seen you've watched all your fights. I've analyzed your style. Oh, you've been watching my fights. Yeah.

I've analyzed your style. You've been practicing. Yeah. Shit. You haven't been practicing. I've been practicing as well. I just didn't think you were practicing. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

He's good when he practices. Yeah. Yeah. Is that why you're so ripped and shit? Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. Um, I suspect this fight will end. Is that why you're so ripped and shit? Yes. Oh my god. Yeah. Um.

Are you gonna hurt me? I suspect this fight will end and I won't be happy unless it ends with me, both my legs to the knee in your asshole. Is that just the positive thing? Yeah. Great. positive thing? Yeah. Great. Whether I hit you or not, I don't mind, but my goal is to get my feet and my calves all

the way up to the knee, both of them, into your anal hole. And then to have you lying down on the floor, me, knees up, arms stretched out, and I'm just like spinning around, asking everyone to look at me, praise me, love me. Even though your fucking insides are getting an absolute rort. Well even though we're both millionaires now, at our hearts we're working class. And I just can't wait to get in a cage with a fellow working class man and like nearly kill each other for the entertainment of wealthy people sitting around us. It's gonna be really fun.

Yeah that is a beautiful way to put it. Well that's available tomorrow on Fox, Fox, Fox, FoxTel. FoxTel. Yeah. And you can buy that and thanks so much for listening. Oh congrats on the WWE merger. Thank you. I saw that in the trades, very exciting.

And we'll see you next week for my birthday. Oh happy birthday. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week!