Bachelor Happy Hour - A ‘Golden’/‘Happy Hour’ Crossover: Part 1

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Today on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” we have part one of our “Happy Hour” crossover with Kathy and Susan from “Golden Hour”! The ladies join Joe and Serena to dive into some listener write-ins. We get some dating advice from the entire “Happy Hour” family today, and you won’t want to miss it. Be sure to check back tomorrow for part two and follow so you never miss an episode of “Bachelor Happy Hour” or “Golden Hour.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hi, it's Honey German and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Graziez, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment

with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending.

with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And, of course, the great Vibras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dresses Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Betcher Happy Hour. I'm Joe. And I'm Serena. And today we are diving into part one of our Happy Hour crossover with our Golden Hour Ladies, Kathy and Susan.

Welcome. How are you guys? Hey. Hey, how are you? Thanks for having us. Of course. So last time we had you guys on was for Joey's season. We did an episode recap. And that was, I think, right before Golden Hour became a thing.

So how's it been? Yes. It's been fabulous. We're having a ball. It's so much fun. I think the most fun for me is hearing readers' questions and people asking us for our advice. It's just so fun to hear what people think all over the things. Fun part for me is arguing with Kathy.

We have different point of views. Well, that's kind of what we're going to get into today. So for today's episode, we're mixing it up a little and getting into the true crossover spirit. For those of you who haven't listened to Kathy and Susie's Golden Hour yet, you're missing out. So today we're going to be answering some listener ratings together, a four-for-one deal, or a four-for-two deal, I should say. And we have some good wins here, so we're so excited. This is fun for us because I feel like It's so different.

It's so different. We've never done anything like this on here before. Wait, wait. Before we start, Susan, I have to ask, how was Bradley Cooper? Oh, my God. He ate my day. That popped up on my explore page. What happened?

You didn't see it, Serena. No, I missed it. Tell me. So we get for lunch and he's making cheese steaks, which happens to be one of my favorite, and he is from my same town. And we see each other, we point. And he goes, I'm a huge fan.

Then he brings me on the back of the truck, I mean, of the food truck. And he goes, Susan, I have to take selfies with my camera. I have a million questions for you. I never missed a show. You're my favorite. I was like, oh, my God. That's crazy. I actually, I saw him doing the cheese truck thing.

But I didn't realize that you guys met. That's so funny. Out of nowhere. It was a blast. Yeah, made my day. You know what? He's a really nice guy. Susan? Yeah.

I don't know if you guys know this. He emailed me and asked me if I would do a duet of Shala with him. Sure, Kathy. Let's see the receipts. Let's see the receipts. Just a little. Just a little. No, he was great.

It was great. Kathy, where are you again? You're in Texas, right? I'm in Austin, Texas. Austin? Yeah. Serena's never been really wants to go. I do want to go.

Come on. Come on. I've got plenty of bedrooms. It was my first time there. I went out to marry. to perform the ceremony for Kathy's son's wedding. Because I keep saying marry her son. Everybody's like, I lived in Texas right outside of Dallas for nine years.

I did not think I was in Texas being in Austin. They have rolling hill roads and trees everywhere, just like here. I was surprised. Austin is very different from the rest of Texas. I'm originally from Massachusetts, which is where my accent comes from. But Austin is a great city with a lot to do. And anyone who wants to come, Serena, come on. I'll show you a good time.

While the F1's going on, come here, we'll have fun. I should, honestly. Well, it's 2 p.m. And you're prepping for Italy with a glass of wine right now. So I don't doubt it, Kathy. I love, I feel like I always see you with Katie Bigger, too. You guys always look like you're having so much fun. Oh, she's a doll, too.

I was at her house last weekend, for she had a bunch of women over. We had so much fun. I was the oldest one there by about 30 years but they are she is the best friends she is the kindest person she is beautiful she's smart she's talented that girl Zach hit the jackpot with her and she with him too

yeah I know she came over when I was there with Kathy and we did a TikTok together we had a blast I saw just quick on her feet yeah she's she's great I hope she's listening to this I know I'll text her If I had another son, Zach, I love you, but you'd be history. Wow. I want to be her mother-in-law.

Coming for him. I like that. I like that. All right, let's get into this. So questions, I'm going to read the first one. Question one. It's from Priscilla from Tampa Bay. She's asking, when do conflicting timelines become a deal breaker?

She's 27. Did I not say that? No. I've thrown that in there. She's also 27. She has said, I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over three years, and things have been going well overall. However, lately, we have been having discussions about our future together, and it seems like we are not on the same page when it comes to timelines. For context, he's 29.

I'm ready to take the next step and move in together, but my boyfriend really wants to keep saving money by living with his roommates. He does at least tell me that he's open to the idea eventually. When it comes to marriage, it gets worse. Anytime I bring up the idea of one day getting married, my boyfriend always just refers to the fact that he's not ready yet. He reassures me that he loves me and sees a future with me, but he wants to take things slower. I understand that everyone moves at their own pace,

but I can't help feeling anxious about our conflicting timelines. How big of a problem is this in a relationship and how can we work through it? I feel like I can't even figure out how I feel and what pace I want to move at because his pace is so slow exclamation point. One question. Did I miss? Did they say how long they've been together? Yeah, a little over three years. So that's a decent amount of time to be with somebody.

Yeah, you should know something by that. There was, again, there was something you said, Joe, when you read it, that told me everything I needed to know. this is her problem he's perfectly happy with the way things are going she's the one that's not happy and she can't force him to do it's not a good idea to give ultimatums you know she's either got to sit and be patient and wait or move along because you can't force someone to do what they're not ready to do and is he ever ready though is this just buying time for him that you You know, it's comfortable. Yeah, because if you're with her, she's going to split the rent anyhow.

Well, that's the thing. It's like, I want to save money by living with my roommates. It's like, well, you could find an apartment where we're splitting the rent that still falls in your budget. And it's like how many, like, who are these roommates? Is it three guys that he's been friends with for a long time and they're still going out partying? No, it's three girls. I got the other problem. I got the same question sent to me.

I'm kidding My thing is I mean look You're together for three and a half years No sign of living together No sign of marriage It does sound not great But I think when it comes to timeline

There's no right or wrong timeline For a relationship But you have to be on the same page With your partner about that timeline So if she is like I'm kind of ready to take the next step And he's not It's like well why are you not ready

And when do you think you might be? ready like three in a three years and a bit is like okay you need to give me like is it one year is it three years is i don't know but the point that he's not doing it serena tells me he's not ready and that's why i said it's our it's a her problem yeah but is he's not ready or he's not ready with her that's my point if if she it's it's you know cast cast your lot either wait around and see if he's ready and he's not you can't say will you be ready in a year he doesn't know So, you know, if you're ready and you don't want to wait a year, move along, girlfriend. How about the question, how not ready are you?

Like, what exactly are you saying? You know? I think actions speak louder than words. Yeah, and it goes to what you said, Kathy. It's like, it's not like he's going to be like, I will be ready exactly in 12 months. Like, he doesn't know. Yeah, it's not like he's saying, like, I just need another year or like this is, you know, I'm 29. I envision myself getting married around 33.

More acceptable. Yes. It's like just a general, well, I don't know, which is... And the question is, does he not know because he's not sure she's it? He's not feeling it. You know, he wants to save $10,000 or does he want $12,500? You know, and her clock is ticking in her world. She's talking about marriage, you know, she's looking ahead.

Well, she's also probably thinking I've been with this guy for three and a half years. I don't want to waste my time if he's not going to fully commit to me. You know what? I don't know what her name is, but I would say, If you're feeling this strongly, don't waste your pretty and skinny on some guy that may or may not ever get to the finish line. Okay, so that is that your advice? I would have some serious conversations with him. I think his actions speak loudly. I think it's you, I don't know what her name is, but either be patient and see how it plays.

Priscilla, that was my mother's name. Priscilla, either be patient and wait and see how it plays out. But if you can't wait, there's your answer. move along. You're in the driver's seat, not him. You're in the driver's seat. You either wait around to see if he's ready or you move along. As well as how good is your relationship. Do you feel great when you're with him with the time you do spend together? Is he the one? For real. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK

story time podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. Do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not?

To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jemel Hill, host to the Sports and Politics Podcasts Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. and that's been part of the challenge.

But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing.

Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault, on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

I also think waiting around is hard because it sounds like her patience is already wearing thin. And if she continues to wait, she's likely going to build some resentment. And it's going to. Resentment. It goes here. Two, three. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. What do you think? Good luck, sweetie. Yeah, I mean. Stay too long. Yeah, I feel, I just think it's one of those things where, you know, if it's something you really want and you're not going to give and take both of you a little bit, then you have to move on because, and it doesn't seem like he's willing, from what she wrote, it doesn't seem like he's willing to budge. So her only choice is to wait around and she doesn't want to do that. So all that's going to cause is resentment in the relationship.

Well, wait, Joe, she could also give him an ultimatum. They never work, but she can either wait around, walk or give them an ultimatum. They do work sometimes. Some people realize that that's the love of their life. They're just not ready yet. But then you buy, okay, give me six months or give me one year and we'll go here. Yeah. It's like, I feel like they have to make a game plan together.

of like I'm ready you're not we have to meet halfway here so like maybe next year we put that deadline on it but if I feel like he's not really giving her much you got to start looking around girlfriend that's what I I smell I smell a rat here there's there's just something you know she's they're not even living together and she wants to get married he doesn't it just doesn't he's not there yeah he's not there and I would be interested in knowing what who the roommate and do they go out party and every other weekend, you know? Yeah, like what's the lifestyle

like living with the roommates that it's so great that he doesn't want to give it up? I can't imagine if it's all men, that place being clean. That's the first thing that comes to my mind. Joe and Serena, Susan spends, just so you and Bachelor Nation know, Susan spends a lot of time cleaning

and this is rule number one for Susan, clean. Clean. Everything's clean. I feel like you've said that on the podcast before Susan when we've been like, what's a deal breaker? They're like they have to be clean Well right now we just we've been gone for like seven days

And we have something that is Stuck in our drain Our drain We don't know what it is When you came home? Not bad but when you're over top of the sink Something is funky So put a lemon down there

We did We don't have a garbage disposal So it's like something is sitting at the bottom And we don't something's like falling down We did vinegar and baking soda So I've got to get in there. You should not get in there. You should not get in there.

Joe, feel a right. It's going to be terrible. Put a glove on. I'd take a wooden spoon and scrape or something. You know what I do? 1-800 clean out my sink. Yeah, we're going to call somebody because honestly, it can't hurt to have that thing

professionally cleaned out. It's been a while. Priscilla, I think our collective answer is you need to figure out if he's ever, going to move in with you if he's ever going to marry you have some hard conversations and if you can't get the answers you're looking for or any answer at all might be time to move on yep agreed yeah i agree but good luck priscilla i hope that's absolutely we hope it works out all right question should we do question number two question two okay this is from talia oh it's my sister's name 27 from

san diego so definitely not her be funny if it was her though that was her though that be crazy. Friend group clashes is this a deal breaker. I've been dating my boyfriend for about eight months and things have been going great for the most part. However, I feel like we've been struggling when it comes to our friends. My friends really like him and as far as I know, his friends like me too. But anytime we have a big gathering with people from both groups, it's painfully awkward. I threw a big party for my birthday and told my boyfriend to invite whoever he'd like. Thankfully, the party was big enough so it wasn't noticeably awkward. but I could totally tell.

There was even an argument that broke out at one point. The biggest issue is politics. My boyfriend and I feel the same politically, as do my friends, but his friends, not so much. Some of them are more moderate, while others strongly affiliate on the opposing side of the spectrum. I know these occasions don't happen often, but my boyfriend and I both love to host and love having big gatherings and celebrations with our friends. so I know there's plenty more in store. What should I do? Is this a deal breaker for us?

I can't see a world in which either of us stop inviting our friends to things. Each of our friend groups are years long. Oof, that's hard. I have the answer. No conversation on politics. No. Religion, politics. Oh, no.

Well, I was going to say talk about religion to be funny. But you know what they do? Put a sign on their door that says you're entering a politically and religiously, Free zone. Do not discuss. Don't you just tell them? Yeah. I mean, I mean, look, I think people could be on opposite ends and still get along. Respectfully. Yeah. And just, I just think it's, well, it seems like this situation is going to be difficult because just the way she wrote this in, it seems like they will always bring it up and always argue. And it seems like there's some people in the friend groups that like to argue.

So that's going to be an issue. But I think in a relationship, like, it's really about you and your partner. And then like as far as the friends, I mean, you could work on that. And I know it's not ideal, but maybe just don't invite. Or just hang out with those. Or just hang out with them separately because you could deal with them and other people. And if they were my friends, I'd say, listen, if you can't. keep that at a low or non-discussion at all.

You can't come. I don't think you should come. Susan, I'm telling you, you just read my mind again. I was going to say, Susan and I would both say to that person, hey, you're making it, because we're older, we would call it out. We would say, you're making it uncomfortable for us and our friends, and we love you all, and we want to all get together, but you've got to stop. And if you can't stop, make other plans, because we love you. You and I would do that, Susan.

Because of our age. Now, think about it. They're in their 20s. They don't feel so comfortable. Right. How old is she? How old are they? 30.

27. Oh, 27. That's young. Yeah, they're my age. So, I don't know. How would you do it? Yeah, come on. Talk to us.

Yeah. I mean, like, I don't think if you're in a relationship, your separate friend groups have to get along for the relationship to work. That's obviously amazing if it does. I agree. I don't think. I agree. I have to get along with Joe's friends and he has to get along with my friends

but our separate friends it's not crucial for them to get along for them to all love each other yeah no for our relationship to work so I don't think it's a deal breaker by any means I do think it also takes time for people to warm up to each other like you might have to give it a few tries

for these people to get to know each other to get along this might take like five or six interactions versus like one or two I think that if I was in her shoes I would just yeah I would say like we're not talking about this you guys don't agree and it creates you can't have like a respectful discussion about it

without it getting heated and for the maybe the few people that keep causing issues those people don't get invited then to the big group gatherings maybe they just stay you know if it's one of joe's friends that just like can't simmer down in a group setting it's like okay we'll hang out with him with your friends but he's not invited when it's a mixed bag of friends i agree i agree that's easy yeah and then it's on them it's like if you want to play play nice and have fun, then great. And if you don't, then you can't come. That's it.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Yeah, I do think sometimes younger people like the political conversation. They thrive on it and they enjoy it. But I think when it becomes uncomfortable, time to draw a line. I remember living in the city and the high rise and everybody was one way and they talked about it a lot. And I was zipping. And finally somebody said, why don't you ever say anything?

I said, no, I don't want you to know my opinion. I keep my thing's private. It's the only thing I keep private. We just talked about this on one of our podcasts recently. Like, you're not going to change anyone's mind. I don't care if you're 27 or 77. People typically have their political and religious views set. And, you know, I think, I hope that we get to a place where sides are more respectful

of each other's opinions. But if you already know you're walking into, you know, into this, then it's best to just say, please, don't do it. And hopefully, hopefully, but I'm with you, Serena. It shouldn't be a deal breaker. I feel like people also just love to argue and love to hear themselves argue. And when you get a group of those people around, it's almost, it's probably going to be impossible to stop that because even if they don't start

that way, something will be said and something they're watching or out to dinner or what where. Yeah, but maybe the first two, three times it will be that way, but like that fight is going to get old. You know what I mean? They're not going to be able to sustain that every single time, do you think? Well, what's crazy is that this happened on the first hangout. Like, I would think, I would think the first hangout would be pretty mild.

I would say, like, I could see this coming up like, oh, we were, we were all kind of getting along and then like the fifth hangout politics got brought up and people have opposing views and now people are starting to hate each other but if this is starting from day one it seems like yeah it might not work out separate parties

yeah yeah separate parties you can still host just maybe not all together not all it was yeah but I love it towards probably in the end after the fifth one whoever the guy was on his side his friends

and the girl and hers probably end up together. You think? I mean, hey, that's only good for the dynamic if they start dating. I remember, though, I remember being young and luck. You do? Back in the dark age. Yeah, when it was black and white TV, I remember it all well. But I remember loving that energy of having religious discussions and political discussions.

And that's sort of how we all formulate our opinions. We read, we talk about things. And they're just in that stage of their life. but there's a time and a place for that. Yeah, I was just going to say it. Like, wait till, wait till one of them sleeps with someone and then they, and then they, and then they ghost that person and then they all. Yeah, that's going to be a real problem. That's a lot worse than political arguments for sure.

It's also, like, I do wonder with this girl, like, is she overthinking it? Like, she's like, you know, nothing was happening, but I felt, I felt the awkwardness. And it's like, maybe, like, her own anxiety about the situation. is making it feel like a bigger deal than it is. Like, I think she, I think she should go ask her friends. Like, hey, because they might be like, oh, no, it was all for it. They might be like, no, it really wasn't that bad. Like, we were fine.

Like, she's probably putting a lot of pressure on herself. I enjoy yourself. Let them beep. They want to argue. Let them argue. Stop worrying. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. And now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him. because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Jemel Hill, host to the Sports and Politics Podcast Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? many of them are in fear of their political lives and that's been part of the challenge but we continue to say to them you were elected to defend your constituents to stand up for your constituents and there's life after Congress and you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because

you did the right thing Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years but their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever make sure to listen to spolitics on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I've got the solution before the next party. Priscilla? Is that still Priscilla? Talia.

Oh, sorry. Natalia. They're both 27, sorry. Natalia, before the next party, I encourage you to deeply, am I, do you still have her name wrong? Yeah, Talia. You can't hang out with this Fred group either because

we're going to spend 30 minutes on this. Talia, which by the way, Joe, brings me to my question, what the hell is your last name and how do you pronounce it? But we'll get to that. I would say deeply inhale or pour a glass of something before your next party. Problem solved. Yeah, maybe a glass of wine or two before everyone should.

shows up. Kathy, are you asking me my last name? Yes, because it looks like Amabile, which in Spanish means, you know, friendly, you know,

I don't know exactly what it means, but Amabla is like a cheerful, nice person, but how do you pronounce your last name? Well, it's Italian, and in Italy it means love, but it's Amabali. Wait, wait,

I'm going to Italy, say it again. Amabli. So like my full name. It's like a mori. So like my first name is Joseph Anthony Amoboli. Amaboli or Amabale?

Amabali. Amoboli. I'm going to walk around the streets of Italy. Amobli. To say Amore. They pronounced it so pronunciated so well in Italy.

Like when we, like even when we were checking into the hotel, it's like Mr. and Mrs. Amobli. Whenever we like obviously travel a lot and whenever we check into hotels in the States, they're like, hi Mr. Amobile, nice to meet you. Phonetically, like that's how it is.

When we went to Italy on our honeymoon, oh my gosh, they pronounce it so beautifully. Do you speak Italian, either one of you? A little bit. No, he doesn't. He always says this. He always does. We went to Italy and the car driver was like, do you speak? And he was like, a little bit.

And then I'm like, you don't speak any Italian. This guy is going to start talking to you. It was a woman and she did start talking to me. And we had a conversation. Yeah, but different conversations. Joe thinks I had a conversation. You didn't know what she was talking about. She had no idea.

The woman was having a great conversation. Joe had no idea what was going on. Okay, Joe, how do you say in Italian? I would like a glass of red wine, please. Red wine. Red wine, please. No, Joe speaks zero Italian. Like, not a word.

Well, wine's vino. Vino. I can do it in Spanish. I can do something Vino Tinto is in Spanish, but I don't know. I would say Italian. I would say Vino Roja. Just say Vino and it's usually red, cats. Yeah, that's true.

true or just put my hand up to my mouth and they'll bring me something to drink yeah you get it free on the train like they give you wine it's amazing yeah I'm jealous best they do all right let's we got the question three last question okay all right Charlie he's 30 from new york city am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable about my girlfriend's close friendship with her ex all right here we go I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year now and things have generally been great however lately i've been feeling uneasy about her friendship with her ex-boyfriend they dated for several years before breaking up and now they're still very close they talk almost every day have the same friend groups so they see each other

often have one-on-one hangouts like a few times a year and even have inside jokes that i don't understand oh this is an issue of me now i've expressed my to my girlfriend and she reassures me that they are just friends now and that I have nothing to worry about. She's always emphasizing that they dated when she was 18 and that the relationship was juvenile means nothing now. 18 is not like 15, you know? But every time they spend time together, I can't shake how uncomfortable it makes me. Am I overreacting or is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about this situation? She's adamant about keeping the friendship because he was there for her during some really unfortunate

Family Times and is heavily integrated into her friend group from college. I trust her and I've never seen any kind of flirtation from either of them. Honestly, if I didn't know their history, I probably wouldn't think much of it. But knowing they have a romantic past changes things for me. And they dated for several years. Does he ever spend time with the two of them? I wonder. That's like it.

It sounds like yes because he says that seeing them integrate together and that he's part of her friend group. So I would assume that like when he hangs up with the friend group, the ex-boyfriend is present at times. I feel like he has a little bit of jealousy, but rightfully so to a point. If you don't trust, then you're going to have these issues. But I'm friends with all my exes. Really? Are you? Everyone. Susan, but you don't go on one-on-ones with them and talk to them. Once a year, George and I have a comment. Once a year. Once a year. Once a year. Once a year. Do you like talk to them every?

She says, No. He says they're talking every day. That's a lot. Yeah. If she cares enough and she knows how he feels, then she's got to pull back a little bit with that. Or in Italian, Arrivederechi. You do know Italian.

Yeah. And also, I don't like the inside joke thing. Yeah, that would sting. If you don't get the inside joke, you ask her later what was the inside joke about. And she's like, oh, don't worry. about it's between him and i then you're like then you break up then you're like chow bella yeah i mean don't you think though that there's it's it's okay i'm friends with you know the one x in my life i'm friends i'm but that this is beyond talking every day and inside jokes like that smells like

a dog looks like a dog you know and he's uncomfortable with it so if she as you said susan if she loves him or really cares about him i would think she would be saying you know what i'm not going to see him as much we're not going to talk every day if she's if she's insisting on that there's more to this story so just say for instance you have an ex from 18 and you're really good friends and there's nothing really going on how would you handle that what would you me yes me an ex from when i was 18 years old i can't remember his name i'm saying it's serena how about you well if so if i was this girl that he was dating and i had an ex that i was talking to every day i mean i'm not i don't have a relationship with any of my exes so this is like so mind-boggling to me

but i think you have to be willing to redefine that relationship when someone new comes into the picture it's like she needs to prioritize her current boyfriend and the fact that it's like she's going out spending one-on-one time with her ex knowing that it's making her partner uncomfortable and she's totally fine with that. Well, we don't know, we don't know. We don't know if he, if it is making, he may have. No, he says, like, when I tell her, she tells me, like, it's nothing. Oh, he did say that?

Yeah, he's, that's, that's the whole point. So, me, you are hitting the nail on the head. He is uncomfortable. If she loves this guy, then she's, she makes a change. No more one-on-ones, okay? If you're out with friends and he's there, that's fine, but really, cut me a break. I would be, like, redefine the relationship of, like, you're in the same friend group.

You shouldn't have to avoid your friends to avoid your friends to avoid, this person but like no more one-on-one hangouts like maybe you know if you want to do like you can catch up in a group setting you see him all the time and no more talking every day I want to be part of the inside jokes yeah or like let's just you know ex-nay them like but the problem is when you when you have to tell your partner they can't do something it is very hard it's not even about it being very hard then they're just going to want to do it more the truth is she needs but if she does want to do it more that's the problem oh that's what I'm saying she told me I don't want you to do this, I would be like, yeah, no problem.

Okay, but she, I don't want you to feel bad. What I'm saying is I think she needs to realize that it has now become a little inappropriate. It's making him uncomfortable. She needs to be able to see that for herself and gradually stop. But if he's like, you can't do this anymore. That's a different, yeah. It's just, that never works. Or put yourself in his shoes.

Stop and think about it. How would I feel if he were doing this? 100%. Yeah, right? It's only fair. And that maybe would modify the way you. Yeah, it's thinking about the other person's feelings, you know, how is it going to affect our relationship, all those things. And if you're not having that communication and talking, then there's a bigger chasm in your relationship than you realize. That's what I would do, but I'm a child. I would instantly be like, okay, fine. Then I'm just going to become best friends with a few of my exes and go hang out with them.

And then we'll play that game. And you know what I'm going to do? I want to meet Susan's exes. Yeah. They're all buddies. Susan's exes could become my currents. They could, Kathy. They could.

Yeah, but I do think it's one thing to be like, hey, my ex is in town. We ended on great terms. I'd love to go grab a coffee with them or go grab lunch with them. Like, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. You trust a person you're with. That's totally fine. Like, this relationship is so extensive that it does borderline and inappropriate.

I feel like the conversation needs to be like, hey, this makes me uncomfortable. these are the parts that make me uncomfortable are you willing to make adjustments and if she's like no I don't care that you're uncomfortable I'm not going to do that you might need to re-evaluate the relationship every day conversations on the phone give me a break

are you not over him maybe you want to keep them close yeah that's it makes you think it looks like something it probably is something and you know yeah where there's smoke there's fire usually yeah okay so overall your intuition okay so

overall what's the advice we're given we're given charlie from new york um lay some ground rules okay kathy i would say have the conversation and don't give ultimatums if if if she insists on the relationship and isn't willing to compromise that does not bode well for a future relationship yeah okay damn all right what is this guy going to be like in a bridesmaid at their wedding like I mean, at this rate, at this rate, it's going to be like that movie with Patrick Dempsey. Yeah, made of honor. That's what's going to end up here. That's literally what's happening.

Do you want to be the other guy competing against Patrick Dempsey is the question. Okay. That's going to wrap the questions. Thank you guys for writing in your questions. We really appreciate it. And Kathy and Susan, thank you so much for joining us today. It was so much fun having you guys on Happy Hour. Yeah, thanks for coming on.

And it's great to see you and I'm so glad to know because so many people don't know how to pronounce your last name, Joe Amabli. Wow, I've nailed it. I've nailed it. Say it one more time? Joe. Joseph.

Anthony was it? Joseph Anthony was it? Joseph Anthony? Amobly. Wow. Beautiful. Okay, this is so much fun. Thank you guys again. And to all our listeners, we'll be doing a part two where Kathy and Susan take the wheel.

and we'll be the guest on Thurr podcast. So be sure to keep an eye out for that episode dropping later this week. Yep. Be sure to give part to a listen and make sure to subscribe. We have new episodes of Happy Hour dropping every single week. Bye. Bye. Bye.

See you very soon. Thanks for having us. Yay. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back. Back to School Week on the OK Storytime Podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no.

We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here.

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