Bachelor Happy Hour - A Look Back: The Jed Wyatt Interview

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

We’re looking back at one of the most iconic episodes of Bachelor Happy Hour ever. “The Bachelorette’s” Jed sits down for his first in-depth interview since After the Final Rose – and he’s not holding anything back.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with

Mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hey guys, I'm Rachel. And I'm Allie and welcome you guys to a very special edition of Bachelor Happy Hour. Very special edition it is, Allie, because normally when we bring you a new podcast, we bring it to you every week.

But sometimes if something big happens, which is what we promised you, when we have breaking news, we will bring it to you. and that's what we're bringing to you right now in this extra special edition. Rachel is in New York, so she's calling in. Hey, Rach. Yeah, Allie, I could not miss this. I know, I know. We really knew that you all have so many questions

about Jed and the Hannah situation. And we wanted to get answers for you guys. So we decided instead of waiting until next week for our podcast, we were going to have this special, I guess we like to say, emergency edition of Bachelor Happy Hour so you guys can get your questions answered.

Jed flew in last night to Los Angeles and he is coming, he's sitting down with us. Actually, he's sitting right across from me right now. So let me not talk about him like he's in the third person. Jed, welcome to our podcast. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you all so much for having me. Okay, Jed, we know you're tired.

We know you're exhausted. We don't want to take up a whole lot of your time, but we definitely just want to get right to it, right, Allie? Yes. All right. Okay, so I think first, just to start it off, what do you want people to know right now? I think the main thing really is just how sorry I am. You know, I've just really had time to think about the things that have happened and how Hannah has felt.

And, you know, I'm very remorseful. and ultimately just want to become a better person because of all this. And that's really my main thing right now. But Jed, you know, we, I saw your interview on GMA. We watched it. We saw you on AFR where you apologized. And I feel like that that's what we've gotten from you.

You seem very sincere. You seem very remorseful about the whole situation and how it went down. And we understand that. Absolutely. I feel like there's more. to it. We've heard you apologize, but we haven't heard your side of the story. And we really want to give you a chance for you to just speak freely and tell your side of what happened, because I don't

think anybody's heard it to this point. And Jed, too, I want to say, like, I want you to feel comfortable in the situation, because I feel for you. Oh, my goodness. Like, you have been, like, I, what you did obviously was wrong. You know that, right? You apologize for it very sincerely, I believe. And I don't even fault you for going on the show for your music. I've been very vocal about this since the notion that people go on the show because they want to have a good time. Nobody goes on the show thinking they're going to fall in love. And then they do and they're like, oh my gosh, this works. I can't believe it works. So I don't fault you. If I had a music career right now and The Bachelor asked me to come on, I'd be like to my husband, hey, can you just hang tight because

I'm going to go on a Bachelor? So I don't even fault you for that. But that's what I think. I think like where do you feel like it kind of all really messed up really got messed up for you like just talk us through all of it yeah so like i like i told hannah you know i did i did show up because i knew it was a platform i knew that um it had a lot of opportunities for adventure and then coming out of it you know all the people that i've seen seem like they have like a pretty amazing life so that was all very intriguing to me um i was reached out to to do the show I didn't sign up and I just really felt like it was something I was supposed to do. It just landed in my lap and, you know, once I was there and I saw how emotional Hannah was

and how passionate she was about the whole thing, it kind of hit me. I was like, I can remember it. I believe it was like within the second week that, you know, this is real. This is a real person. Though I don't know her that well, we haven't had much time to talk. I can see that her heart really is in this and that was kind of the turning point for me that I was like you know what I want to really investigate this more and you know going forward I could feel myself falling so I wanted to be honest with her and if that met her sitting me home immediately then so be it but I wanted her to know the honest truth as to why I showed up

and you know going forward you know people ask me now like you know you know you know you were so honest about that, why weren't you honest about the whole Haley situation? And in my head, you know, I had more closure than Haley. I felt like, you know, we had a conversation on the phone once I landed in L.A. And we knew that I was stepping into a very unforeseen future and that anything could happen. We had talked about all the variables and, you know, be that like if they wanted me to be the bachelor or something or paradise or anything. or anything, or falling in love. Like, it was all discussed and understood that, you know, who knows?

Right. So was, that's a great, great, I love that you just shared that, because then, let's look at the I love you, right before. So was that like a goodbye, I love you? It was, yeah, it, I really did care for Haley, you know, we, we had a great time together. Obviously, going on the show, there was not stable ground to actually commit to an exclusive relationship together like we just we never did that so I mean I did love her I did care for her she's a great person I will not talk bad about her there's nothing bad to be said

but in my head we had more closure than I think she did I felt like we had more closure than I guess she did so you know going into the journey it wasn't crossing my mind because you know I felt like we that anything could happen. Yeah. I mean, obviously, go ahead, Rachel. Well, I just want to ask you this, just piggybacking on what you mentioned before, when you left that note to Haley

and you make comments that are like, you know where my heart will be and I'll see you at the dock. That sounds like you're trying to, you plan on returning to her. So if that's how you left her, how do you explain that? What does that mean?

I think, actually, I know I was just, really kind of talking out of my ass. I don't, I don't really know why I would say something like that when, you know, I didn't know what I was getting into at all. Like, I had not watched, collectively I've probably seen maybe three episodes of the show in my life. I had no idea what I was getting into. And, you know, just I thought I was showing up for a platform. And then I met Hannah and completely fell in love. And I was like, you know, wow, this was like completely unexpected. But Jen.

Yeah. I'm sorry. So I'll just preface this by saying I don't agree with Allie. I have a different view of how I interpret the situation. Sure. And so when you say I, too as well, did not watch the show before I was on it. But I understood that the concept of the show, which I'm sure you did too as well. right?

You understood how the show works. For the most part, I thought I understood but, you know, it's one of those things that even if you think you get it, once you're there,

it's a completely different situation. And I get that, Jed. But you know the show is about finding love at the end of the day. You did know that, right? Go ahead, Jed. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I could see that entirely,

But it's like I had no idea that it would actually be possible in that setting. Like, it just, when you, when, even with watching, like, I didn't watch the show much because to me, it didn't seem real. Like, when you watch the edits and you see how people act and react, it looks like, it looks fake. And I had people in my ear prior to the show telling me it's scripted that there's going to be people coming at you trying to fight you on night one. And, like, I had all these variables going through my head. I had literally no idea what I was getting into. So I'm... And I think that's fair, Jed.

Like, I will say, you know, that I went on the show thinking it was BS. Like, I didn't think that I was actually... I mean, I did fall in love with Jason Mesnick's story. Again, this is way back in the day. But, like, again, did not... I think most people don't go on the show for love. And that's the truth. That's my honest opinion.

So I truly don't fault you for it. And I think that's interesting. I think a lot of viewers watch the show and wonder, is it scripted? Is it fake? And it's not. But you don't realize that until you get there. You don't realize that the emotions are real. The feelings are real.

So I feel that. I think, Jed, for me, like, I have been, and maybe people get mad at me for this. I've actually been quite a cheerleader for you, like, in terms of I don't blame me for going on the show for music. When you came out with that information to Hannah, I was like, heck yes. Finally, somebody says the truth. They didn't come on the show for love. So I actually really appreciated that I think for me where it all sort of

fell apart was I know you say you didn't want to tell Hannah out of fear but when you had to have realized when the information came out at that point the fear is kind of out the window I mean so why then still were you sort of not being completely because even when you sat down with her

not after the final rose before that I feel like you were trying to talk your way around it That was one of the hardest conversations I've had in my life. And if it seemed like I was dancing around anything, it was simply because there were cameras in my face, and I'm sitting there with someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with feeling like it's falling apart. And not knowing how to handle it. It was just so much.

Did you not watch it? I couldn't. To be honest, I couldn't do it. I mean, this has all been so much, and especially going to. into, you know, it was first aired when, you know, right before I went to, after the final rose, and I was in my trailer, so I couldn't watch it live. So I just walked in there kind of blind. Yeah.

I mean, I think we saw some emotion. You know, you said, I don't want to cry and we saw a few tears. But I think what we really wanted to see, like, as a viewer, was you're fighting for the woman that you love in that point. Do you feel you gave it your all to save that relationship? relationship. Absolutely. I mean, I had let her know that I would, you know, do anything. I would come to L.A., to Alabama. I would have done, like, literally anything to sit down and have a conversation with her. And this is, you know, prior to, or this is after the, where she broke the

engagement. Um, leading up to that point, she didn't want to talk. She needed space. And I understood that. So, I mean, I would have done literally anything. Yeah. Did, did your Your family had to have known about Haley, right? Yeah, I mean, they knew exactly what we were, and they knew that it was not a relationship. They knew, like, every bit of it. Oh, because I assume maybe during your hometown that the reason they were hesitant is because they're like, well, wait, he was just in another relationship. Like, did your sister, your mom, or anybody off camera say, hey, whoa, you were just in a relationship? No.

The only thing they were saying to me off camera was, is this real? Do you really feel this way? They were just skeptical to the whole, like, there's cameras around, there's lights, there's people running around our house. I walk in with a girl, I'm feeling head over heels about, and they were just totally blown away. It wasn't, like when I watched back on that, especially with the whole Haley thing coming out, I can see where people would say they knew or it felt like they were acting the way they did because. of that and that was not the case at all like i i talked to them after i was like like be honest with me was any of this because of that situation and they there they just wasn't well then jed why did hannah say when she was sitting with you in the house and you all you all were discussing

the people magazine and haley and everything with that why did hannah say no wonder your family was acting like that because obviously it's something that she felt as well absolutely Absolutely. I think it was just the heat of the moment and that discussion, because like I said, it was the hardest conversation that we have ever had. And the weight of it, I can see where she would be led to fill that way. But I know for a fact that that wasn't the case. Jed, let me ask you this. And I'm going to go back a bit because I told you, Ali and I have differing views on how this whole thing played out. When I am like you, I came on to the show skeptical, didn't believe it could work out, but was open to whatever opportunity presented itself, whether that be love, whether that be friendship, whether that be, you know, a platform after this, like you said. And I think that's how most people come on the show. I think what gets me about the way you came on the show, coupled with the messages that we saw from Haley is that you admit that you came on the show with different motives. You came on the show technically to deceive Hannah, right? You just happened to fall in love with her as the show went on and you were pleasantly surprised. So I guess my question, and maybe this is

a burning question for a lot of people out there, how did you envision this going? Like how far were you willing to take it to grow your platform? Because that was your initial intention to come on the show. What I had told a lot of people prior to going on this show, like all my friends, was, you know, that I am open, like you said, to anything that could happen. And if it was love, I would tell everyone, I just don't see that happening. There's no way that that could happen in that setting. I was open to the idea though and um were you yeah I mean did Haley know that because I just feel like everything that you've said has been I came on for the platform I've never heard you say that you were open to finding love on the show so I just want to be clear right well I

God knows if it's still there or not but when I had my interviews in Nashville when they kind of did like my hometown piece thing. When I was interviewed there, I can remember being asked if, or if I thought that it would be possible to fall in love there. And I remember being just like, you know, I'm open to it. I just, I doubt it. I just, I didn't believe in it. I didn't think it was going to be possible.

And my heart was open to it. And I talked to multiple people and said that I was. open to the idea of it, I just didn't feel like it was feasible. So, and I think another question that people want to know is, if you came on the show for a platform, why didn't you just go on American Idol or The Voice? I have, you know, I was, it just landed in my lap. I mean, like I said, it wasn't like I was out scouting for TV shows to go on to. I was, you know, I was happy. I was living life. And I was reached out to do it, and it just kind of landed in my lap.

So I felt like it was kind of a God thing, and I just ran with it. That's fair. Do you, my one thing I've really been wondering, because I really think about Haley in this, right? It seems like her heart was broken in this. Absolutely. Have you talked to her? We have ran into each other in passing and talked briefly, but I haven't had the chance to, like, really go into any of this. Where?

Where did you see each other? We ran into each other at a bar. And what was said? Because was this before or after she gave her story? This was before she gave her story. Oh. Right. So she came up to me and, you know, we're surrounded by people.

This is like right when I got back from the show. I believe one episode had played at this point and people were like videoing me standing there. I was trying to have some conversation with my friends and she walked right up to me. and she was like, you know, you weren't going to call, you weren't going to, like, say anything. And I just told her that I didn't feel like this was the time or place to have this conversation. And after that, I kind of discussed with Hannah that she had been, I had heard that she was throwing fits at bars and, like, throwing beer bottles and, like, making a scene. So I knew she was obviously pissed and rightfully so. and I felt like that was the point where I wanted to like say something and so I

to Hannah to Haley so I discussed with Hannah that I think that I should have this conversation with her and Hannah was you know kind of brushing it off and making jokes about it but we came to terms that I should just give her a call so I did give Haley a call and she ignored it and never called me back oh okay so I guess my question is then at that point were you afraid that you heard that Haley was causing a scene you know in Nashville were you afraid at that point that maybe she might do something bigger did you think she might go to the press I really honestly didn't think so okay so you said that you talked to Hannah prior to maybe I think and correct me if I have the timeline wrong

but maybe a couple of days after the proposal, you told Hannah about this girl Haley. No, actually, I told her the morning after our engagement and we were laying in bed and we started disgusting, or disgusting, talking about our past relationships. And I ran her through literally everything that I have done. Like my mistakes, the stages of just like sleeping around,

the people I loved, thought I love, like we talked about everything. I had never been, honestly, so open about my past as someone, or felt like I even could. I was just, I felt like I could be completely open. So we talked about that, and we talked about Haley, but I really gave more so my perspective on our relationship, and I could see now, like, I can see now that I was not being mindful to how Haley was feeling. I was giving my side, my closure, my idea, but without thinking about how she might have been feeling in the situation. And, you know, now I see that she was hurt and that, you know, my behavior and words at times were misleading.

But like I said, in my head, I felt like we had said our goodbyes and known that or knew that I was going to step into this unforeseen future. I think the hard part is with that is, and this is the thing, you're 25, right, right. You're 25, you're a musician, you know, in Nashville. When I was 25, I mean, when I was 25, I was the bachelor's, but right before that, you know, I'm going out, I'm partying. I'm dating guys. I'm dating multiple guys. Like, you know, I think Rachel's actually talked about this, why we think that maybe, you know, it's the age on the show should be a higher age

because at that age you're still kind of having fun right so I get all of that completely I think what the hard part is to understand is the saying like I'll wait for you meet you at the dock or I remember what you said and then thinking that that was and then going and telling Hannah you know you thought that it was over right like I don't understand I can't connect those two things do you know what I mean and I think a lot of people listening or I think

that same thing. So I want to give you the opportunity to sort of explain that. Right. I would really like to touch on the doc. And a lot of people will probably not believe this. But if you went to Haley and even asked her, she would tell you the truth on this, I would hope. But the doc is a metaphorical thing for meditation that I taught her. That's what it was. It was not a physical doc. And to the public eye, it's going to look like a actual doc. And when I read that note back, I was like, damn it, that looks like I'm saying, let's meet at this dock. But I practice meditation. I'm passionate about it.

It was something that I taught her to do, to go to this dock in her mind and to, like, sit there and be at peace. And that's what that was. It's so funny. I wish you came out and said that right away, because that's so interesting. You know what I mean? Well, I just, like, when I read it back, I was like, there's no way anyone would ever believe me on this. But it's the truth. Like, it's the truth.

I would take a lie detector test. Like, I would do anything, like, to say or to prove that that is true. And I know that Haley, you know, despite all this and her anger and being hurt, I know she would tell the truth and say that that was a metaphor. Yeah. I actually believe you. I'm looking at you, staring you directly in the eyes. And I can tell you're telling the truth right now. So I 100% believe you.

And I think that does make it different. Like, I think I'm glad you're getting the opportunity to share that because I think saying you've been very clear. that you loved her or at least what you thought was love at the time and saying I'll meet you at the dock and saying that's a meditation point like that I can see that as almost like a goodbye I'm kind of doing this unknown like I don't know what's going to happen for us I see that now but what I didn't I didn't see it when I thought you were literally meeting her at a dock I know and that's what like when I read the note back I was like like literally everyone is going to think this and not believe this but well sorry Jed go ahead no

Go ahead. You have to understand that the first sentence before that is, you know where my heart will be. Do you feel like you owe Haley an apology, and are you going to talk to her? I really just need time to digest everything that has happened. Obviously, it's been a lot. It's been a lot for Hannah. It's been a lot for our family. It's been a lot for me.

And, you know, I would like to say my peace to her, but it would just take time. I just need time. Yeah. Once you proposed to Hannah and then the next day you told Hannah about Haley, then you went home. Were you like, oh God, like I have to tell Haley something. Like, why did you decide to ghost her? I guess I'm more thinking, did you ever think at some point I have to confront Haley? Again, I felt like I had closure.

It's clear to me that she did not at all, obviously, but due to our discussions about me stepping into this unforeseen future and that anything could happen, I really and honestly assumed that, you know, it was understood that whatever happens happens and we wanted the best for one another. So you truly felt like I just want to be clear that when you, since you, whatever happens happens happens, happened, and what happened was that you were engaged to Hannah, you felt like the door was closed with Haley at that point, and you didn't know her an explanation. Like I said, again, we had closure over the phone. I kind of thought that that was what it was. Like, we knew that anything could happen, and we wanted the best for each other. And not out of disrespect, not out of, like, hate or anger. We just understood that, you know, anything could happen. happen. And I mean, I now see that I was, you know, well, I wasn't, like, wrong for feeling how I felt because I cared about her, like, and I told her that. And I was clearly open about that

to her, but I can see how she's hurt. Like, I understand all of that. Jedda, I believe you. And I guess the reason I just, I feel so much for you in the situation is because I could have been in your situation, because I have been very, open that I had a boyfriend before I went on the show. He treated me like dirt and cheated on me like every weekend, but I couldn't get out of the relationship. So I went on The Bachelor to get out of that relationship to help me move on. I think the last text I sent before I went on the show was I love you to him.

I'm actually pretty sure it was. So I think people are going to have a hard time understanding, and I don't because again, I've been in your shoes, kind of. But people are still, I feel like I'm trying to put words in your mouth, but I feel like I understand that, whereas people listening are going to be like, I still don't get it. You don't say, I love you. And, you know, what was said before I'll meet you at the dock or whatever or something else? You know where my heart will be.

You know what my heart will be like the doc. Like, well, where was the text message that said whatever happens happens? Where was the text? I think that's where people get lost. Where is the text message that says, you know, I'm open to whatever we have an understanding. That's what's lacking. And I think that's what's hard for people to understand. I'm not saying that I doubt you, Jed.

I'm just saying that, you know, when it comes to the hard facts and the evidence, we only see the side that Haley. No, yeah, the side that Haley's bringing. But I will say that I truly do believe that you fell in love with Hannah on the show. And I think Ali and I both agree with that. I believe you fell in love with her. I believe that you got scared. right when when you know by the love that you were feeling and then by knowing what you had left at home

and you just kind of it seems like you just panicked and thought I don't know maybe it'll all just disappear right I'll say this um I don't think you have to be in a labeled relationship to love someone I really don't and that was the case and I'm also confused as to why everyone thinks that has to be and text for it to have been a conversation. We had conversation, face-to-face conversation about what could happen. And just because it's not out there in a text message doesn't mean that that wasn't the case.

So have you thought about reaching out to Haley and being like, hey, like, can you come forward with the truth? Because what you're saying is necessarily not, you know, can you say these conversations? can you let people know that we had these conversations? Have you thought about just asking her that? Because you're obviously being very nice about her. You say she's a great girl.

You're not going to say anything bad. So I'm guessing she's pretty pissed at you. But have you considered just being like, hey, do you mind sharing that other side of the story? I get that you were hurt when you saw I went on the show and actually did because she's probably hurt that you did fall in love. I'm sure she didn't think you would

and she thought you were coming home to her. That seems like that's the scenario here. So have you thought, about reaching out to her about that? I think that was in her mind the best case scenario. And I honestly have not, I didn't consider reaching out because my relationship with Hannah was my number one priority. Yeah.

I have a question for you, Jed. I personally am not as sympathetic to Haley, just to be honest, because if you guys had this understanding, she knew exactly what you were going on the show to do as well. and so at the same time she's kind of at fault as well to a point right like I get that there weren't truths that were told I understand all that

but she agreed for you to go on this show and to do what you were doing so I'm not a hundred percent sympathetic towards Hayley I think some people think she didn't agree like some people think that her heart was like broken and off he was going she was very supportive about it exactly yeah that says something about her she knew he was going on this show. She knew that he was going to use the show initially as a platform for his music

and she was okay with it. Why is nobody saying that that's a character flaw? I'm sorry, it is. So here's my question to you, Jed. Do you think that Haley came out because she was, do you think that Haley came out to speak to the press because she was hurt? Or do you think she came out to use it as a platform for her own music? I know that she's hurt, but I know also that there's a good chance that she was seizing the opportunity as well. Of course she was, Jed. I mean. And you can't really falter for it because you did it too.

And I, yeah. And another thing I don't understand is like she waited until I had like 250,000 followers to come out and say this. So like I think it was intended to obviously hurt me. And what I don't understand is if, you know, if you really do love someone, no matter how promising they've made it seem if they're going on a dating show, regardless of why they're going on a dating show, why would you stay with them? And like, for me, if I was in a relationship, I would not have gone onto a dating show.

That's just me. I'm not a cheater. And with my time with Haley, I did hang out with other people. I did date other people. I sup with other people. Like, we were not in an exclusive relationship. Does she know that? Does she know you were sleeping with other people?

No, because there was no, we'd never had conversation, you know, saying this was this. You know, we, we had never committed to being in an exclusive relationship. She's rightfully hurt, and I see that. I understand that. But the facts are the facts, whether she wants to come forward with it or not, there was conversation and clarity on my, on my half. Yeah. What about these reports that once she, you got back from filming, you were hooking up and flirting with other women while you were still

engaged to Hannah. Is any of that true? Absolutely not 100% no. Is it maybe the case that y'all had already broken up? Because according to Hannah, you guys broke up June 18th. So, or ended at the engagement, I should say. You guys ended the engagement June 18th. Is there any truth that after that maybe you decided okay well we're done maybe i'll just you know see what else is out there my heart was broken no okay yeah i can see the look on your face and that that's factual um i want to ask you this question too before we get into things that happen after afr and i'm thinking of burning questions and i'm thinking of things that people have wondered about you and now you have your chance to talk about. And like Allie and I said at the beginning, we want to give you that

space to do that. Once you told Hannah that you initially came on the show for your music, why at that point did you continue to play your music and showcase it throughout the show? I am so glad that you asked this question. Good. So when I brought my guitar to the show, I actually had no idea that I was going to be able to play as much as I did. I brought it to have something to do in my downtime. Obviously, it's my passion. I love it. I knew that I would be writing in my downtime.

And there is, you know, there's times that I would be, like, writing a song for Hannah. And, you know, someone from production would hear it. I would play it for them. They're like, you should play that for her. And then I was lucky enough to get to do that on multiple occasions. I never would have dreamed that I got to do it as much as I did. And I can see where people are like, you're showcasing, you're showcasing, showcasing when really it was me being given the opportunity given the opportunity to do to play but i mean

i guess can't you understand how you know what i just told this girl that i came on this this show to use my music to use this platform to showcase my music and now here you are showcasing your music every opportunity that you can get at least what we saw in watching it i mean all the way from the very beginning of stepping out of the limo to the proposal at the end So you can understand how, did it never cross your mind? You know what? Maybe I should just put the guitar down and talk to her. Prior to me telling Hannah about how I came from music,

she told me that when I showed up, she was skeptical about the fact that, you know, I played guitar for her at night one and that she kind of felt like, oh, this is just another guy here for music. But up to this point, I can tell that you're here for me. And that was edited out, and that was before I even told her anything.

And I was like, wow, it's crazy that you just said that because then I told her my piece, why I showed up. So she could tell that my emotion had completely flipped and that I was there for her at this point. And on that date, I was unaware of it, but they brought my guitar and they put it in another room. And Hannah, after we had talked and she gave me the rose, led me into this room where my guitar was and she wanted me to play her a song. and I happened to have wrote a song the night before. So she liked when I played and wanted me to play. And even after the show, when we were engaged, she was very encouraging and wanted me to bring my guitar

and wanted me to play for her. And, you know, that made a lot to me because it's something I love. It was your love language. Yeah, absolutely. It is your love language. What love language is that? Well, it's how he expresses himself. I mean, you're a writer.

Because honestly, I think you express it. yourself, I think watching back sometimes, I'd be like, Chad, I just want to see more emotion out of you. And you're a very, like, kind of chill guy. And I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but the way I saw it was like, that's how you express yourself. Right. I mean, yeah, it's been like that since I was little. I've been, I started on piano when I was just like five years old. That's just always been kind of like my outlet. It's interesting that you bring up that Hannah, like, asked you to play for her. Like, she, like, enjoyed that.

So I'm sure that encouraged you to do it more, knowing that it's something that she really liked that you did. Absolutely. Yeah. And there was times that, like, I didn't want to play because I was like, I don't want her to feel like this. I don't want her to feel like this. And her and I had conversations.

She never felt that way. She never felt like I was showcasing. I can see where the world would say that because it's, like, almost every episode, I came walking up with that guitar. And I saw so many memes, like, here comes to jet with that day. guitar. I actually brought a lot of guitar, mini guitar to the podcast with me. But no, I mean, look, out there, I know a lot of people are just going to, I feel for you, like in a lot of the

situation. I definitely think you messed up, and I've said this already at the beginning. You messed up with not being super honest about Haley. And I know you kind of think you were, but you weren't, you know. And I understand that that came from fear. But I don't blame you for the guitar stuff or any of that other stuff. Like I said. But one thing I do want to, to discuss is, are you mad at Hannah? Like, do you have anger towards her at this point? You know, I'm not angry at all. I think more than anything, I'm just really sad. I just feel, you know, and just like, I know she's sad and hurt, too, and I know that she now has her closure and we'll move on, and that's, that's great. The reason I ask, and this is why I ask, because people

are going to be like, what do you mean? Why would he be mad at Hannah? And the reason I ask that is because you did like some comments on Instagram of people saying she slept with, you know, a bunch of guys, two guys. Why did you do that? I tapped the comment to go see if he was replying to someone, and I liked it. You tapped the comment to see if who was replying. The comment rolled into my notifications. I tapped it.

Wherever I tapped it, it liked it, period. Did you not realize that? No, I had no idea until someone sent me an article, like, they were like, why did you do that? And I was like, oh shit. Like, I didn't mean to do that. I don't feel that way. I mean, don't get me wrong.

It's like not easy to hear the things that I've heard watching back on the season. You know, it's like a really weird thing to see someone that you love so much, be so open about other people. Are you referring to the windmill? Absolutely. Yeah. It's like, it's hard to hear. I know that's the name of the game. That's the show.

But it's not easy to hear when it's somebody. Not that was a mistake, but I'll own it. I did like it. How many comments did you like like that? Was that the only one? I don't know. I don't know. That's the only one I'm aware of.

That's the only article I've seen. Yeah. I mean, I get that that could be a mistake. I mean, but I also get, and the reason I thought maybe he did like it, I understand how hurtful that would be. You know, being a past bachelor, I can say that if my, who cares about my story, but if my top three guy hadn't left me, I would have slept with more than one person in the fantasy sweet.

I would have. I didn't because my guy left me, but I would have because I know how important physical intimacy is on the show. And if you're about to get engaged with someone, you probably want to know, like, You have a physical connection. You want to know, yeah. Yeah, but I also putting myself in the other people's shoes, because I left top four when I was a contestant, that has got to sting. And I get, like, you have a lot of wrongs and, you know, but it's still you're a human being.

Right. And that's got to hurt too. Like, what did you, did you feel anything when she's talking about two times in the windmill? Right. Well, it was actually four times. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she said two times. You guys were already broken up when she said four times.

You had already split up. But you were engaged when the two-time thing. Or had you already split up? We had been split up at that point. So how did you feel? It was just, you know, I knew about Peter at that point. I didn't know the details. I didn't care to know the details because, you know,

I just don't really love to hear about that kind of thing. Yeah. But it's just weird. You know, it's weird. I think it would be weird. for just about anyone to see someone that you care about a lot, be open and talk about sleeping with someone else. And, you know, that's her role, and this was her journey.

And she's not wrong for doing it. Like, there's nothing really wrong with it, but it does stink. You know, there's not really anything you can do to prepare yourself to watch someone you care about, be open about that. Yeah. Holly asked you if you were angry at Hannah, but I guess my question is, can you blame Hannah for the way that she's reacted since finding out everything she did about Haley? Absolutely not. She was very straightforward about how she wanted honesty and openness from the very beginning from night one. She was open about that. So I can see entirely how and why she feels the way she feels right now or felt.

I want to follow up on something you said on GMA. You know, when you were talking to Michael Shrayhan, you said to him that you had discussed with Hannah Haley. But did your discussions mirror the article that came out in People magazine? There was details in the article that, like I said before, I wasn't even considering her. side or her feelings. I told her pretty much from my perspective what we were and what it felt like without considering how she was feeling. And that's my fault and I'll own up to it. I want to give you an opportunity to clear things up because this is the first time you've really been able to just talk freely. You know, it's not a TV segment. It's an open conversation.

And so I guess I'd also ask you, is there something yet that we haven't addressed that you want to clear up because everyone's been asking or assuming certain things. I think at this point you can assume that if there's a skeleton in your closet, it's going to come out at this point. Absolutely. There's no. I mean, I feel like we've touched a lot of the points that I've ever wanted to make that I've kept quiet over because all I wanted to do is mend the relationship with Hannah.

I didn't come out and defend myself immediately. I could have. I could have came out and did any. I could have defended myself off the bat with the hate. situation and spoke just on behalf of that but what was important to me was Hannah and trying to fix that and that's that's just it have you guys spoken since after the final rose at all or is your contact completely cut off we haven't spoken and you know I feel like down the road we could have friendship I mean she's great and we have always got along we have a great time

I think she's an amazing woman. She's strong. She killed her role at this. I mean, you can't ask for someone to be more passionate, more open, and she did everything. In my opinion, great. She did great. And I just, I hope down the road that we can be friends. Do you think her and Tyler are going to end up together?

How do you feel about that situation? Kind of like I said on Good Morning America. I just had a weird feeling going into after the final rose that something like that could happen. Tyler is an amazing guy. I don't fault her for saying what she did or asking him. Has your relationship with any of the guys changed with all this coming out? Or have they been supportive? Because do you talk to the guys? I could not have asked for honestly a better group of people to go into this with. They've been supportive. and kind to me. And, you know, obviously offering their opinions on the situation and, you know, telling me things that, you know, are helpful. And they've, I mean, they're great friends. I mean, obviously there's a couple that I don't talk to as much, but. Yeah, well, assuming you don't talk to Luke. So, like, did any of the guys, like, call you out and say, hey, Jed, what the heck?

Or were they like, what did they say? No one called me out. It was more so just Nick Vial. None of the guys on my season has said anything. Let's expand on that. Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. What has Nick Vial been saying? Let's talk about it.

How do you, okay, so I think it's great that you have received support from the guys from your season. And I'll be honest, I've talked to several guys from your season, and they all have great things to say about you, even when I tried to dig and tried to say, but okay. Yeah, Peter was on last week. He had great things to say about you. Yeah. And we're like, okay, but maybe this. No, they're like, we were, we lived with Jed. He's actually a really great guy. We understand what you've seen in the media. We understand, you know, certain things that have popped up. But Jed is really a good person. Even Hannah said, you know, she felt in love with with the goodness, the good part. part of you. She knows it's in there for you and maybe this whole situation will prepare you for the next person. So she acknowledges it as well. But since you brought up Nick Vile, what do you, because that's who season I was on, what, what do you think about past contestants

or past leads offering their opinion, opinion in such a way? Because you obviously feel strongly about things that he has said. And I think, you know, obviously, Rachel and I have this podcast and we are giving our opinion, so we're sharing our opinion as alumni, too. I think the difference is there's a way to be respectful about it. Yeah, totally. And you guys do that perfectly, in my opinion. I mean, everyone's entitled their opinion. And with social media, people are very quick to jump on what's the most popular thing happening

and how they can either use it to benefit themselves. Get retweets. To get retweets. to get likes and I understand that I've been as recently the talk of the town so I see why people are

doing that but it's like get to know me before you talk shit and if you come at my family like don't do that did he do that? I've seen him say some slurs and stuff on Twitter and it's just you know it's like

have some respect so you feel like he's doing it to try to stay relevant absolutely are you kidding me that's what he thrives off oh yeah well i mean i'm with you i uh i mean not i mean not with the nixing but i think people are not just social or not just past bachelor contestants in general people have this screen up when they're on the internet and feel like they can say whatever they want and the reason i'm so happy that you're here jed is because not only of all the guys said great things about you hannah has said great things about

you despite how hurt she is um i'm you know we're sitting here talking to you we can see that you're a good person of course you're a good person you just really fucked up you did i mean can you say that right now that i messed up big time i i can see all my faults and like i said i'm going to grow from it and it is going to make me a better person it just it's crazy when it's in the public eye that you have to go through something like this and be open to everyone's opinions and judgment. But, you know, absolutely I can see all my faults. Yeah, Jed, I think that you learn the hardest lesson on the biggest stage.

And it'll be something that you grow from at the end of the day. Like, we talk about Hannah's strength and everything that she went through. And she did go through a lot. But at the same time, you have to be really strong on your end. And she gave that to you. You know, when she talked about grace on the stage, she said, I know that you have a lot of critics. I have them too, but I know people are coming down on you. And I'll even be honest when she was on straight hand and Sarah, she said, I don't want to say anything about him

because so many people are already coming at him. So it takes a lot of strength for you to be able to come sit with us, have these tough conversations. But we thank you for it. And we thank you for being, you know, strong enough to tell your side of the story. I do want to ask you, what's next for you? I think a lot of people want to know what do you want to do now? Paradise? Just kidding.

Only if Dylan's going. You know, really, I just want to take the next bit and just focus on my spiritual and mental health. That's it. I mean, the weight of all this has been insane and, you know, I just want to surround myself with good people,

and really just work on my soul. And I'm glad you brought up mental health. Yeah, I think people out there, anyone listening to this right now, who maybe still feels angry with you, is that we need to think about people's mental health and this, because I cannot imagine how you are feeling and how you've been feeling

and having millions of people just judging you and saying terrible things about you, that is so hurt. hurtful and we really need to think about mental health and what that can do to a person because I know you're a strong guy but that can break anybody yeah and I like to think that I am very you know mentally strong like in a lot of situations and this this has been extremely heavy and you know I want to talk for a second about like other people going through this you know I know that the Blake guy he's fucked up and done some shit and you know I just think people need to like even though they don't agree with it or think it's terrible just have a little grace because at the end of the day like we're humans I mean same for Luke I don't agree with him not the not the slightest bit do I agree with him but we're humans we have this this thing where it's easy to get caught up in what people are saying and she's

sure you can say that you're not going to look at it or that you ignore it, but that only goes for so long and people need to realize how much words actually can affect someone's mental health and respect that. Do you feel for Luke in this situation? Now that I've gone through the hate that I've gone through, you know, like even before I did, like I, it was just constant memes, constant shots and, you know, I've even taken some shots at him, obviously, like I didn't agree with the guy at all. But now that I have this perspective, I think people just need to have a little grace for everyone. Yeah. Like you can not like somebody.

That's totally okay. Like, and you can say, I don't understand why this person is here, but saying like they should jump off a bridge on social media is not okay. It's not okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's a bit too far. So like that, you know, that being said, um, Hannah has been, you know, being drilled the entire time, the entire season. Like, yeah, yeah, Luke got it bad. I got it bad later, but she's had this judgment the entire time.

Yeah. And I don't think there's anyone in this world that could have handled it the way she did. She was strong. She held true to herself. And you can't ask for more than that from someone. And I will say, I have not agreed with a lot of the things Hannah has done throughout the season. I write a blog and on it, I have been extremely critical of some of the things that she has done throughout the season, but always in a respectful way. always in a way of I am behind her.

I don't agree with the way she did this, but I know she's growing from this. And I think that's the difference. You don't have to like everybody. You don't have to agree with it. I do like Hannah, but you don't have to agree with what everybody's doing, but you just have to be,

realize they're real human beings. Like, Rachel and I have been there. I mean, obviously not to the extent that you have experienced it, but honestly, I was a little hesitant to do this podcast. And the reason I was is because I was the bachelor almost 10 years ago. But I remember sitting at my computer

and seeing the terrible things people were saying about me and crying my eyes out. Because, yes, I'm strong. I've been strong my whole life, but, oh, my gosh, one person can only take so much. And I didn't want to do this podcast at first because I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm putting myself back out there to be judged again

by Bachelor Nation, which Bachelor Nation's incredible, but there's a handful of weeds among the flowers that really love to dig. What did you say, Rach? A lot of weeds. you said yeah there's a lot of weeks yeah so i mean rachel how do you like how is you what do you think about that so i i am a very strong person but at the same time i i absolutely have my moments where sometimes this becomes too much and it gets to me and i think it's important to

talk about because a lot of times people do just see me as strong but this being in this world has affected me at the same time and you know like ali said we've both as leads have definitely been subject to a lot of criticism. And for me, being the first black bachelorette, I was being criticized for things that I can't change. You know, I'm black. I can't change that. You know, I was born that way. And a lot of the criticism that came to me, it was because of the way that I looked or stereotypes for because of the way I looked that people place on black people. So it was, I knew I would get it. But as much as you prepare yourself for it, it, you never are ready for it. And at the same time, it's like when people are praising you one

second, you're also going to have the flip in of people criticizing you. And it's a hard balance to have. And the strongest person is affected by it. So I think it's really important, you know, that we're having this conversation now. We're sharing our experiences at how tough it is. I'm tough on people too. I'm tough. Jed, I think you handled this interview quite well. I was nervous for are you, Jed, because of Rachel. I'm very direct. And I get that sometimes I fall victim of, you know, going after people without understanding it or realizing, hey, Rachel, you know what it's like to be in that person's shoes

and have people criticizing you for things they don't know or they don't know the whole story. So I think that it's important for, hello, Bachelor Nation, I'm talking to you to realize that these people are we're human and we mess up and we make mistakes and we're making them on the biggest stage. So at times, give us a break. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I do see sometimes I will say, I mean, I haven't read any of Nick's tweets, but people do kind of jump on the bandwagon of like whatever Bachelor Nation's feeling and to, you know, just kind of follow along with that. I don't do that. Like if I'm going to tweet or put something on Instagram, I feel like

I'll do it as, again, I don't agree with this, but I massage it a little bit. I realize that the person I'm talking about is me, just like me, you know, like, because I've been there. So it's hard for me sometimes when past contestants are so ruthless because they've been there. Totally. And they know how much it hurts. Totally. And like, I've taken shots at Luke on Twitter, and it's like, it's just like an easy thing to do, but it's not right. Yeah.

No, it's not always right. I definitely say some very blunt things. But I think as long as you're funny, it softens it up a little bit. Yeah. See, I'm like, again, I always go back to I'm the mom of this podcast. Like, I'm just like, oh, I always think if that person's my son or my daughter, you know. But none of us are perfect. I'm sure at some point for sure, definitely past seasons.

I've said some things that were mean, you know, if I had an opinion. And I think you just learned. Like you said, I mean, the whole point. of this. I mean, I think your story, Jed, is that nobody is perfect. And we all mess up. All of us. Just, you know, we have millions of people to let us know when we did it. Absolutely. And your mistakes should not define you. Exactly. Everyone can change. Everyone can grow. And you got to just focus on that. Well, I hope people listening to this know that your mistakes do not define you. And I can say that sitting with you right now. I can tell and feel the good energy from you. And I see what Hannah saw on

you. You messed up, but you're human, and you've admitted it. What else can you do? You live and you learn. And I can say confidently, I think that whoever you do end up with is going to be a very lucky girl because I think you're going to be pretty dang honest with that person. You're going to be like right up front. Everything. Here it is. I just like, I looked at another girl and I saw her cleavage. I had to tell you because I don't want you to think I'm lying. Like, you're going to be really honest. Jed, thank you so much for being here. Honestly, it's not easy to do what you're doing right now

and we really appreciate you telling your story here first. Absolutely. Thank you all for having me. You know, it's been heavy on my heart to be able to kind of open up about everything and I appreciate you all giving me the opportunity to do that here.

Absolutely. Thank you, Jed. We definitely wish you the very best in the future and we'll see you at the dock. Close your eyes and go there. I love meditation too, so I love that you do that. And I will say to all of you guys

listening, thank you so much for tuning in to this very special edition of Bachelor Happy Hour. And actually, we're going to be back with our regular podcast next week. And we have Demi and Kaylin from Bachelor in Paradise on the show. We're going to talk to Demi about her groundbreaking paradise journey, which is very cool. And how her family reacted to her telling the world that she had been dating a woman prior to coming to paradise. And also, you guys, Kailen will be here. And from the looks of it, she got all caught up in the Blake drama. That is all the talk in paradise, and we're going to talk about that with her.

Yes, we're going to have grace for Blake, but we're also going to call him a jerk, and you'll find out why. So in the meantime, guys, you can get all the latest Bachelor Nation news on Bachelornation.com right now. And follow us on social media because actually, Jed, before we came into this interview, I, like, pulled my followers and asked them what questions we should ask you. So some of those questions came from my followers. And I'm glad you brought that up, Allie, because we want to hear from you guys. And we want you guys to tell us what we like and what you don't like about the show.

So tell us more of that. We want to hear it. You can email us at happy hour at bachelornation.com. Or you can visit us at bachelornation.com and click podcasts. Yes, definitely do that. Send us all the emails. We want all of them. So thank you so much for listening.

This was really, really great. Jed, thank you again. And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast. Bachelor Happy Hour, you can subscribe. on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to this right now. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy

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She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president, will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

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