Bachelor Happy Hour - Aaron S.’s Life-Changing Day

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Today on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Aaron S. is opening up like never before. Before getting into this week’s episode of “Bachelor in Paradise,” the Oakland firefighter talks Joe through the terrifying boat accident he and Brayden were in, and how, after floating in the Pacific Ocean for more than three hours hoping to be rescued, their lives have been forever changed.   He also gets into everything we’ve seen go down in “Paradise” so far, and in true Aaron S. style, the man does not hold back. He reveals who he originally wanted to meet in “Paradise,” what qualities Sam has that make her an “incredible woman,” and where he and Peter stand after their confrontation on the beach.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with

Mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hey everyone, welcome back to Happy Hour. We have a very special guest on none other than the man himself from charity season. Please welcome Aaron S to the podcast.

Where's the confetti, dude? No one really knows me. So when you say Aaron S, welcome Aaron S to the podcast. I bet you half a Bachelor nation. like who'd at we're gonna get to know well well yeah i think i think after this episode everyone knows who you are maybe i i would think and you have a crazy story that we're gonna we're gonna get into all that but before we do um how'd you get into your firemen live you live in san diego yeah live in san diego work in oakland i've been getting grief for that lately the guys like don't

you're not represent the city i work in oakland i work for the city of oakland uh so wait you're You're a firefighter in Oakland, but you live in San Diego? Yeah. How do you make that work? It's called the Super Commute, baby. Yeah. It's a way for me to completely separate work from life and my line of work and the mental capacity it takes to do what we do.

For me, that complete separation is exactly what I needed. So San Diego is my safe place. And then when I go to work, I do my work at Oakland. are you are you like on one day off too do you have the that schedule or is it different yeah so every department varies my fire department is a 4896 so we're on for two straight days 24 hour shifts back to back and then we get four days off but super commuters like myself we'll stack our shifts like we'll trade so I'll work my regular two days and then work someone else's two days and then I get eight days off consecutively got it that makes that that makes it

Make more sense. Where are you from? I'm from the Bay Area, born to race. Fremont, California. Shout out to my Fremont friends out there. Nice. How'd you get on charity season? How the hell?

You know what? This is a crazy story, Joe. I'm so happy I'm sharing it with you. Of all people. Let's go. Coach of your first Bachelor Hall of Famer, dude. So before I got on to the Bachelorette, man, I was casted for Joe Millionaire. Okay.

Yeah, they did. Yeah, I didn't watch it, but I know they re-made that show. It was a Fox revamp. They were trying to rival The Bachelor and Bachelorette from ABC. And you already got star-studied cast like yourself and Serena. I hope she's all right, man. I heard she's not doing well. Yeah, she's so sick.

Yeah, yeah. Talk about poop babies. But, yeah, man, I was casted for that show as the non-millionaire boy. And girls were going to fall in love of me for who I was. and I was going through a pivotal time in my fire career where I wanted more out of my career. I thought I had the ability to reach out and help out a larger community. And Oakland was number one on my list since I was 23 years old. And I'd interviewed for them and they gave me a job offer the day Fox called me and said,

you got the spot as the non-millionaire guy. And so I turned it down, went to Academy, in Latterwood over to Oakland and I'm at the airport one day and ABC calls me and they're like hey are you interested in you know maybe coming on

the Bachelorette and I'm like wait this is coming out of nowhere I was just say how do they get I didn't watch this show in years I may have watched your season and I'm just saying that because you're right in front of me

I probably didn't watch the season I appreciate that's all you had to say yeah yeah that was a white lie I shouldn't even done that but I've watched tidbits right yeah and um you know i didn't really have any interest i'm 34 years old and i do i do want to shout out to one of the reddit people that said that i look like i'm from the nixon era i'm way too old for this shit okay 34 years old i get a call from a bc they say hey are you interested

of course i'm interested but who the hell nominated me or put my name in the mix and it was my sister and her husband who had sent in all my information and uh i'm one to create memories if there's an opportunity to possibly find love, possibly make some lifelong friends, and possibly get to show you my personality, I'm going to do that hands down every time. And so I said yes. And, you know, it was within like three or four weeks.

You're living this normal life. And then you're in the middle of 30, 40 cameras. And you were able to, and there was no issues with the Oakland Fire Department, you were able to stay on and keep the job that you want and everything? Yeah, that was a whole other mix because, you know, being in the fire service, we have one of the only careers that's, you don't need to know us, but we've been respected for over 100 years. We're probably the only entity in the United States that can literally walk into a stranger's home. And instantly, you're not judgmentally, you know that we're there to do good. And so I had, I was, I was stressed out about it, man.

I actually talked to my captain about this because we have an image to uphold. And I don't know much about reality TV. I don't know anything about it, actually. And so I didn't know, you know, what if they edit me this way? What if they edit me that way? And so it was a conversation I had with a captain of mine. And then it went up the ranks to our fire chief at the time and then went to our legal team. And, you know, me going on The Bachelorette was hinged on them saying yes or now.

And they said, as long as you act yourself, you know, people aren't going to hate you. There are people that hate me, but. Yeah. I mean, I would say a majority doesn't hate me, Joe. No, I don't think you, right now, at least, you are not a hated character on this show. No, right now I'm in a safe song. You're good, you're good. What, you're 34, have you had any serious relationships before this show?

What was dating like? Why are you single? Yeah, you want the, we'll give you the basic answer. Yeah, give me, give me, yeah. I have worked my tail off from the, the time I was 13 years old up until now. What people don't know about me was I was a ranch kid before I became a firefighter. I had my own ranching business.

I managed cattle ranches. I had two horses of my own. I taught little kids horseback riding lessons. I trained horses, had a major barbed wire fencing company. And all I knew is blue collar work. You know, when my friends were out partying and going to high school things, I was working at the ranch till dark and get my homework done on the weekday, go straight to the ranch work so dark and um that that upbringing um you know brought me to the the the the man i am today

and taught me some morals and values that um are invaluable and you know as i've become to be this like 34 year old man with this bushy beard uh i've become picky because i've worked really hard to get to where i am uh i feel like i'm financially stable i've got a great career and i love my family i'm super tight with them i've got a great friend group and you know the last thing i want is to bring my partner into something where they're not going to add to that and um you know that's become harder and harder as i get older is to find a partner that i that i truly think adds to my family and adds to my friend group and adds to me as much as i add to their family their friend group and them and so yeah that's why i'm single uh going into the that's why i was single going into the

Bachelorette and that's why I was single going into Bachelor in Paradise. Got it. Because your boy is a little picky. Got it. Okay. That's no wrong with that. In those long hours, I used to work in the produce market. So I would start at, I'd wake up at like 1.32 a.m.

and work 10, 12 hour days. So I do get that. It's hard to have a social life when you have those crazy. Oh, wow. Hold on one second, Joe. Hold on. Apparently the lights shut off in the bunker room. there we go um no i i uh actually you're you're in my story are actually a little oddly similar

my uh i worked for my grandfather for a while he owned a standard five and dime like an ace hardware oh nice and so you know at a young age i would always go there on the weekends and stock shells so all those produce guys out there kudos do you do lord's work got to the world's got to eat man world's got world needs produce um so okay So I was, I was at, it was charities after, after the Rose show. And I saw Braden in the hallway. And he's like, hey, bro, if you ever get down, if you get down to San Diego, Aaron S and I are doing a fishing trip, you should come.

And I'm like, well, I just, that's just not, that's not going to align with what I have going on. But I appreciate, I appreciate the invite. Yeah. And then I want to say maybe like, A month or two months ago, I see a clip of two bachelor guys almost drown in a fishing trip. And it's Braden and Aaron S. What the fuck happened? My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out. out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him?

Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy, which

is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you because it's easy to say like go you go blank yourself right it's easy it's easy to just drink the extra beer it's easy to ignore to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier drinking is easier yelling screaming is easy complex problem solving meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long time, allow Republicans to play them.

So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that. And that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric, Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on next question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world

where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, what the fuck happened is right, man. And would you expect none other than Brayden and Aaron S to sink about together? The answer is no. You

clearly don't know brayden and me well enough braden and i for those vocabulary freaks out there but yeah i my i've owned boats my whole life i've been around ski boats my family has a ski boat um and my my dream since i was a kid was to own my own boat my grandfather used to take me fishing to alaska every year that was the path to manhood and in his eyes in our family and you know for 10 straight years i'd go to alaska with him craig alaska for this lodge called king fisher lodge and We'd literally fish for a week off the grid with a guide who built this lodge on this property. And it was a dream of mine doing a fishing boat. And I love the ocean.

There's one thing anyone needs to know about me. I love the ocean. It's the most humbling thing nature can throw at you. And there's nothing more than I want than to either surf or be on top of the water. And so after, you know, 34 years finally I get the money to buy this boat. I am stoked, by the way, about buying this boat. Talking to this guy, Brayden and I are going surfing in Orange County. And I'm like, you know what, Braden?

I've been texting this guy on Craigslist about this boat. You want to go look at it with me? It's in Fullerton. He's like, oh, man, yeah, let's go look at it. Any time you make a stupid decision, 90% of the time that stupid decision is pushed on you by a friend, right? Or you're going to make that decision because a friend is with you. when you're by yourself you're probably going to walk away just like a car when you go buy a new car do you think do you think you would have walked away if brady was like no bro i'm out i can't do it hell no i'm not putting that on braden brayden didn't buy this boat but he's like my hype man so of course i'm like yeah fuck yeah let's get this boat we see it this thing is beautiful pay for a whole inspection guy charges me 500 bucks inspects the boat sends me a 10 page report all systems ago whole engine bait tank everything on this boat is ripe perfect ready to go go. I bring it home. I start noticing little things on it that aren't working. The trailer's

broken. I fix the trailer. The stabilizer flaps break. The first time I take it out, I call a mechanic. I get that fix. And these are all little orange flags, right, that start adding up. But in your stoke nest, you kind of overlook some of those orange flags and you go, well, you know what? Like, I fix these things. You know, now that this is fixed, then nothing else is going to break. Mind you, this boat is old. It's from the 70s. And the gentleman who I bought it from and told me that he had redone it in his driveway. Fiberglass, gel coat, and stringers.

Stringers are the backbone of a boat. Those are the ones that run down the spine. There's usually two of them that run down the spine of a boat, down the hole. And so, yeah, this is the crazy. If I would have brought, this is the thing that kills me. If I would have brought in my dad on this boat, I would have killed him that day.

And so I joke around with these guys, and I say, like, this was bound. to happen this boat was going to sink at some point and i am so thankful that i sunk it with brayden my buddy gavin who's another firefighter brayden's dad and bradden's uncle if i would have sunk it with anyone else anyone else on this planet one of us would not have come home it was that crazy oh okay so how far out are you and how does it sink yeah so this is crazy we're 17 miles offshore might as well take a spaceship to Pluto. There's no one out there.

It's just us. And everything's going fine, man. We're having fun. We're being guys. We're peeing off the boat, jumping off the swim deck. For people that fish or don't know how to fish, when you're going for Dorado or tuna, yellow till tuna or yellowfin tuna, you're looking for boilers in the water. So we get to a certain GPS waypoint, which is 17 miles offshore.

Everything's fine. and you're looking for kelpatties or a bunch of boils in the water. And so we find a kelpatti. We stop throwing bait. At this point, I realize no one on the boat knows how to fish. So now I am a charter captain. My name is Aaron S. I'm the charter guy.

I'm here to make sure everyone's having a good time. So I'm baiting everyone's lines for them. We're throwing them into the kelpatties. First kelpatties empty. We're about three hours into this journey. Three and a half hours go by. We're at the second kelpatties. Same thing.

fish, bait everyone's line for them. We reel up the lines. I looked at the ocean report and it said the wind was going to pick up at 11. So I told the guys, next kelpatti or boiler spot that we find, like we're out of here. We're going to fish it for a little bit. We're going to turn around and bounce. We were

lucky the sea was super calm that day. There was a wind swell, but the ocean's going to have swell, no matter what day you're there. And so the boats off. We're drifting next to the third kelpati, and my buddy hooks on to a Dorado. everyone goes to the front of the boat my buddy lets the line go under the boat and then the fish

runs around the prop the boat's off it's not a big deal why you have an outboard motor on a boat is so you can bring the prop up if you get stuck in kelp or if a line gets crossed you can lift the prop up off the back of the boat untangle line drop back down you're good to go mind you this i'm going to tell you this but before i tell you this three of the guys on that boat had stepped on the back of the swim deck while the boat was off prior to this event happening all the guys on the front of the boat gavin has his line i tell gavin my buddy gavin i said let your line out everything's fine i'm going to lift the prop up untangle your line you're going to reel this fish in then we're going to head home prop comes up Gavin lets his line out

all systems ago until i step on the swim deck the moment i step on the swim deck the boat is completely underwater in 15 seconds gone we don't have time to radio we don't have time to get our phones we don't have time for anything and it is so unlike me to give a safety briefing for any of the activities that i do this is that's just my nature but i for some weird reason i had given them a safety briefing before they got on the boat i showed them exactly where we were going so some of them had texted their wives or family like hey we're going out to this point I showed them where the life jackets were. Every little safety piece of that boat,

where the radio was, it was on Channel 16 for the Coast Guard. And luckily, Braden's dad, who won MVP of that entire experience, was listening to this absolutely abysmal safety briefing that I'd given the guys and remembered where the life jackets were. So he dove down and opened up the hatch.

And really, those life jackets are what saved us because all of a sudden, let me put this into perspective. You are having the time of your life with your closest friends, sharing an experience together that none of us really get. One moment you're having that experience in the next moment, dude, you're floating in the deep blue 300 feet. I mean, we're in a- You're treading water at 17 miles from shore.

Offshore, no land in sight, no boat in sight, and it's 300 feet deep. and it was the ocean I'll tell you this I'm a water dog right I was in swim lessons as a kid champion breaststroke artist here surf all the time

but the deep deep ocean wants you underneath so it pulls you in a way that I've never been pulled before so just getting your life jacket on with all your clothes like let's start this over boat sinks life jackets get thrown out the boat yeah

Braden's tangled in fishing line his the fishing line's pulling him under with the boat his dad runs swims over to him cuts the line off of brayden brayden comes back up we all strip our clothes off to our chonies except for me i kept my viori sweats on because they're hell of expensive and we put our life jackets on but in that time man any time that you weren't in a life jacket it just felt like the water was sucking you underneath yeah and um what a helpless feeling All right. So you guys have your life. Let's get to the point you guys have your life jackets on. What's the conversation? Like what because, yeah, what's the conversation? Yeah. I mean, it's fighter flight. That boat had two firefighters on it. Braden was military. Dad was military. Uncle is a dispatcher for fire authority in Orange County. Right. So all of us come from a first responder background. Is everybody in physical, like, physical shape? I wouldn't say great physical shape, but, you know, when I say we're in the water

for three and a half hours, it becomes a mind game. Yeah. And he who wins will last. And if there's anything that you need to know about situations like that is fear is cancer. And so the moment fear is spread, you know, that's when bad decisions are made. So to be honest with you, man, it was floating out there was scary, but the moment we all accepted that it might be the end. And for all of us it was such a light tone there were jokes being said there was some laughter we nicknamed the white cooler that we all held on to wilson from castaway um and you know why die scared when you could die with your closest friends happy and laughing you know but i'll tell you one thing man i i have huge guilt from the experience right because you invite me to go do something that i'm not used to

I'm going to put my life on the fact that you know what you're doing and you're going to keep me safe, right? Where I brought four of my friends, closest friends, onto the boat with me, and it sinks and puts their lives in jeopardy. And so I got a lot of guilt because of it. That will never leave. That's something that I always carry with me. But I still got them, you know, that's good. That, that, that, that's so scary. That's just a crazy, crazy, scary story.

how so how did you get saved you're out there for how long three and a half hours treading water first hour and a half it was shock right yeah we always have these bad dreams we wake up for him right you're sleeping all of a sudden you feel a stud in your chest right and you wake up before the plane crashes or you fall off the building before you hit the ground you always feel this stud in your chest and you wake up and so the whole talk for an hour and a half i am believing that this is a shit dream like this has got to be be a bad, bad dream and I'm just not waking up for some reason. And then I started dealing with some real ass shit. Like I started shivering bad, bad, bad. And then I started cramping up because

all I had was coffee in the morning. And then I knew at that point, hour and a half into it, my time card got punched. And that's when that's when the realization of things being real really hit me. And, you know, we were all really in a survival mode for three and a half hours. and it was anything and everything we could do to stay warm we all linked arms the water was 68 degrees 69 degrees doesn't sound cold to you no it's cold listening for that but you know what are our bodies going at joe like 97 97 something or 98 yeah that cold water's stuck in the heat right out of your body and um so we're linking arms and stay warm and staying close to stay warm And, you know, it was only until a boat magically appeared at a kelpatti a mile away where my boat initially sank. They fished that same kelpatti and came up empty.

And one of the guys on that boat had binoculars and saw something shining in the water. And all we think is he was either the cooler or a belt because we strapped belts to this cooler so people could link their arms in there. And he had mentioned to the guy driving the boat, like, hey, this is weird. There's something in the water. Like, let's go check this out. And so if they were going to turn around and go home. If they would have turned around and went home, you and I, we're not having this, this fun conversation, right? But the fact that they drove to what they thought was a debris, like a debris field in the water is the only reason I am right here.

That's the only reason. Three and a half hours, man. I maybe had two hours left. before you know something like wow health wise happened or god forbid the man in the gray suit there are some massive great white sharks out there huge for like submarines out there that could just swallow you whole so there's so much going through your head when you're out there um but i i always remember getting in that boat and just feeling this immense feeling of of gratitude and thankfulness and uh it it definitely changed

my perspective on life. Yeah, I was going to say, it did? Oh, completely. I mean, we joke around. Like, what's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you? I mean, has anyone, a majority of people in this world have not had a true life or death scenario, right? Yeah.

And I've been unfortunate enough to have that at work, but not to this magnitude. At work, I can get out of situations that are life or death through training, right? I rely on my training. And maybe the guys behind me on my career. true. But when you're in a situation like that, helpless with no help coming, no cell phones, no radio, no nothing, it's a whole new mindset. It's a whole new mindset. And so that definitely reset some of the things that I'm going to do going forward and reset some of the things that I do when it comes to, you know, family and friends. We overlook a lot of things. We take things for

granted life is is really just a unstable deck of cards that we expect to be upright every time we wake up when one of those cards falls you know your entire staff can fall and we take that for granted all the time so like just the little things joe like waking up in the morning and sitting on my porch and watching the sun come up i take that shit for granted why because the sun comes up every damn morning yeah you know but what if one one day it's going to happen to us right life is life is life we both know that you get at some point your time card is going to get punched right and up until that point you take all this stuff for granted and it's only until you have this crazy scare that you start you know really truly appreciating the little things man just the heat and the sand or the waves

crashing or it's just it's wild i've been doing this podcast for for a long time that that is the craziest story i've ever heard that's that's that's that's insane i can't imagine well um i'm really happy you guys are alive that's fucking nuts um yeah you you and brayden have to like you guys are now bonded for for life i would think joe brayden and i were bonded before this shit even happened we became best friends right off the bachelorette the day he came home we became brothers and um yeah i mean if anything this is another one of those those pages and you know our book of friendship that binds our book even tighter than it already is yeah this is you know the one thing i'm thankful for is i didn't really know brayton's family that well and i can tell you

right now now after this event i am his family bro like i was just at i was just at a winery with his aunt and his mom and i'm they literally call me their adopted son so you know there's there's always a silver lining to something that's that's kind of dark and scary you just got to let that door open for you walk right in see what happens man i was not expected this is this was intense i thought that i i when i watched this clip i was like that's insane but like really hearing it from your perspective and from the person that was there it's just that's wow wow like let me ask you this dude let me ask you this and I know you're the question asker but give me give me at least one

yeah have you have you ever in your life accepted death probably like I mean I accepted the fact that I'm eventually going to die but have I ever had no probably no I would say no and I'm trying to walk you through my emotions on you know that time period where we were in the water because at that time two and a half hours in with nothing in sight and no phone no no way to reach anybody no land i mean literally we're bobbing up and down these waves yeah like just fucking lifeless dude just waiting for the inevitable right is if you let me ask you this if you died today if you accepted death and you died today at your age would there be any regret any regret whatsoever like i could have done more up into this point or i have so much

more to give i have so much more to do i have so much more for the world to see and i'm asking you yeah yeah i would say i would say i would say yes i would say i would say yes to that yeah i would say there's a lot of things i i i could be better at so should probably work on those before i'm floating in the middle of the ocean well big joe what i'm trying to say is is Life is one crazy book, right? And I get, I'm fortunate or not fortunate enough to see a lot of death in my career. And the one thing that always gets me, man, it makes me feel super sad is when someone's on their deathbed and I'm right there next to them and they have regrets on what they could

have or should have done in their lives. And so if this story can tell you anything, we're lucky to be alive, we are. But any opportunity that you take to push yourself to learn something new or if there's a certain thing that you haven't tried, you want to try, try it, because you never know when your book closes on you. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them.

I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face.

When you think about emotion regulation, like, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy, which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say, like, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just, like, walk the other way.

Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denial is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I think Democrats have, for a very long time, allow Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative and Democrats decided to play into that and that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back.

And our recent chat on Next Question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, Her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Yeah. No, I think that's great advice. That's my TED Talk, Joe. Yeah, no, but it's great. This is really, this is the, this was really good. At least, this was great. I mean, insane. I'm not even speaking right now.

I'm not even making words. No, I mean, you're not even crying. What are you doing over there? Hold on, I got to move the flight. You can't figure out your fucking light. I'm trying to impress the audience here. I'm in a really nice speaking to be bunker to make me look like something I'm not. Okay, all right.

We have to jump to Paradise real quick. Before we do, I want to ask a real quick question, answer it as quick as you could. The guy that inspector who inspected the boat, is he to blame it all for any of this? No. Okay. I just didn't know if it was like... No, no, no, no, no.

This is all a bunch of orange flags. Freak in a freak accident. A freak accident. Yeah. No one's at fault for anything, man. We're lucky to be alive. Yeah. I just, I don't know like boat lingo and I'm not really, you know, so I'm just curious when...

You're not a... Joe, you're not a boatologist. No, I'm not a boatologist. Never have... It never will be. And after this story, I don't... I will never go on a fishing trip. I'm glad I live in a city.

All right. Let's jump to Paradise a little bit. First thing I want to talk about is the most, I think the most we've seen of Aaron S. Up until this episode has really been the little bit of beef that we saw with you and Pete. And we all saw the FP thing. And that was weird. and now we kind of see why you guys don't really like each other at the mental all. We saw it at the mental law.

So I don't know. Could you just dive into that? Yeah. I have a rule. There's a rule that I go by. It's the three rule. There's three things that if you cross me, I'm going to put you in the ground. You cross my family.

You cross my friends or you cross me. and family is you know the girl i'm dating to i consider them family um and pete had straight up crossed me at the beach and i whether you like me or not i am very blunt i will not hide from my emotions i'll tell you like it is and uh words were exchanged and he said what he said about me to sam and uh i don't stand for that kind of shit if you have something to say safe for my face. And so we had a little bit of a heated exchange. And I don't really know if he's ever had someone talk to him like that. And obviously that boiled over in the men tell all because no one really knew what it happened on the beach up until that point, right? So now that everyone's

seen it, I think people are starting to understand why there's beef between Peter and I. But I'll tell you this like now uh you know peter and i don't have any beef like we've squashed it um forgive and forget right uh so uh we had talked about it talked about why i had said the things that i'd said um yeah i i got no bad blood for i'm not going to hang out with him on my days off but i'm not not going to shake his hand and give him a hug when i see him and ask him how he's doing well that's good and that's i'd like that you guys are are cool now and that so far that was one of the most genuine scenes i've seen on paradise yet because it was it was an off-the-cuff moment and i could just tell you're like i don't care this is who i am we're going to have this conversation

right now yeah i mean sam and i on the beach so far have one of the strongest connections and It's just not, hasn't been filmed or been shown. Yeah, let's talk about that because we're really, we're really not seeing you guys. So, and this is the most we're seeing is all the poop baby shit. But, yeah, how, like, what's going on there? I mean, I'll tell you this, dude, like, there's literally no drama. And I'm, my partner in life, whether it's on reality TV, on Paradise. And mind you, I didn't know how Paradise worked until maybe two or three weeks before.

when i watched the season prior and i went holy shit show like yeah this is insane and as a partner as a man i want my partner to feel safe and by feeling safe i want to make my intentions very prevalent for that person so they don't have any anxiety leading up to anything you know day one sam is probably the most rip girl on that beach uh her and i both come from San Diego we share a lot from from from from not being able to go to the bathroom for 10 days or whatever it is she's she's got a six-pack she's not even bloated like yeah a little bit it's insane she is I can't say enough great things about Sam she is such an amazing woman she's beautiful um she's so driven and talented um and we we instantly hit it off day one and I wasn't

expecting that I came on the beach with thinking that I wanted to explore my Cowboys days with Brooklyn. And in Walk, Sam, and her and I really, really bonded. And it was just this really easygoing, free-flowing conversation from the moment she walked on to that beach until now. So, you know, we had talked and I said, hey, like, I don't want you, she left day one of Clayton season, right, night one? Yeah. I just wanted her experience on Bachelor in paradise to be different like let's get to know each other let's have fun we have an entire month here to get to know one another before we both go back to san diego let's build this solid like foundation together we worked out every morning and you know um things are going great right now

you know do you think do you think if she lived let's say she lived in new york do you think you there would have been more pressure for you to speed things up no just because i think the ease of access of the accessibility of travel is so readily there at your fingertips that i'm i feel like that brings out more of an anxious attachment style to where you want something now i truly believe some of the best things are ones that you have to work for and take your time in um but paradise is a unique place you have no outside you know this right i mean there's no outside influences uh your your your your your connection is is there for just you and to get to know just you until the next guy or girl arrives right maybe there's some beef but um it's it's an atmosphere that you're never going to get ever again right unless you go back to paradise are you guys at this point from what we've seen are you guys exclusive if anyone else walks down,

have you guys had that conversation? Yeah, and we showed Hannah coming down to the beach and she had pulled Braden and I, and she'd asked me point blank, are you happy? Like, are you up for a date? And I just straight up told her, like, I'm right now I'm stoked with Sam.

Yeah. And the answer is no. Like, I probably would say no to a date at this point. I mean, it would do, It would do us an injustice by only knowing her for three or four days to go on another day when we've had a foundation built that no one really saw yet. I'm with you, but there's a lot of people that, and I personally think that's the right way to do Paradise if you do feel something with someone, but a lot of people don't follow that playbook as we see. are you so Sam she hasn't she hasn't been able to go to the bathroom for 10 days but all you know and there's some lightheartedness and some jokes about it but in all seriousness she may have to go home and that's pretty much what she's telling you what's going through your mind you know she goes home are you going home if she goes home women have the roses what happens like what yeah in my mind you know the first thing that came up with a dad joke like what a shit situation obviously and you know after sam

had mentioned she may be going home i thought you know i there's no one else on this beach that i can't fake shit dude if all right well let's i'm going to stop i'm going to stop you right there because we just don't know let's we have to wait and see how this all yeah let's just wait to see how this just winds up just just just from that let's let's wait because i actually I don't know and I and I and I do really want to know and if you keep talking I'll probably be able to figure it out did did any of you guys because when the got so the guys have the roses first week so you have the power right to do guys Joe do guys really have power in this world the answer is fucking no women run this shit so yeah we had the opportunity to

give the girls a chance to break our hearts yes you're right do any of you guys have a conversation. Do you guys have the conversation like, are any of you worried that maybe any of these girls are just trying to get a rose that first week? Is that something you're cautious of or just not even like playing that game? Dude, at this point, I got my blinders on, right? Because I think I found love. So, no, I didn't expect that at least. But then again, you only have a certain amount of days to try to get to know everyone. And I don't really know. everyone's true, full intentions. Yeah.

So, no, I didn't really think there's any talent fullery going on, but come to find out there was. Okay, all right. We're going to play a lighthearted game. Real quick, who are right now on the beach, just because I want to know, who are your guys, like who are your guys in the beach that you're the closest with? Yeah, who do you, who, I mean, I'm just going to say Braden, obviously. Obviously, Braden's, brain is my duty.

What, Joe? There we go. Here we go. These damn lights. You know, I'm trying to be cool. I would say, so, Braden, Braden is my number one. Sean's my guy.

I like Sean. Sean's funny. And Blake, you know what? Blake is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. He reminds me of a, of Wells, but in a mime form. Like, he just doesn't talk.

You know, if you're stressed out, you just lay next to him. You won't say a word to you, but you just lay next to them. and you feel comforted for some weird reason. He's always doing a safari or his wildlife. You guys will end up being all on a trip together. I could see that.

All right, let's jump in. Let's play this game real quick and I'll let you go. All right. All right. Rapid fire. First thing that comes to your head, none of it matters anyway. So let's get it. Are you more of an introvert or extrovert?

extrovert what would be your go-to paradise cocktail skinny margarita what is the first thing you buy if you won the lottery a house or

damn that was the first thing that came to up that's a hard question dude I would make sure my entire circle of friends and family

had all their houses paid for what is your go-to pump-up song who Wayne, steady, mobbing. What is one item on your bucket list? Bull riding.

I'm doing that Thursday with Braden. Do you have, you and Braden need to stop doing activities. You guys made nervous. I know, it's fucking crazy. Do you have any dating deal breakers? Yeah, multiple cats, 90s choker chains, and you're not in therapy. What is your love language? Love language, man.

quality time. What is the first concert you ever attended? Oh, there's Jesus. It would be Toby Keith at Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View. What is your favorite dessert? Frozen yogurt. What is an important item to pack for paradise? Wow.

Flip-lops. That sand is pot as hell. It is. One word to describe the rest of the season of Paradise. I mean, come on, dude. You just handed out to me on a silver platter bananas. All right. You know what?

You had me at frozen yogurt, Aaron, because I also love frozen yogurt. Thank you so much for doing this podcast. Really appreciate it. Thank you to everyone for tuning in. And remember all new episodes of Bachelor in Paradise at year every Thursday on ABC at 9-8 Central, following the Golden Bachelor. Or you can stream them both the next day. on Hulu. And make sure to tune into new episodes of Badger Happy Hour every week. We're going to

have some great guests on. We have all kinds of exclusive interviews. You don't want to miss them. Don't forget to subscribe. Thank you everyone. Aaron, thank you. We'll see everyone next time. Thanks, Joe. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about motion regulation. You're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the Iheart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Kurek, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we,

We run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app.

Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.