Bachelor Happy Hour - After the Final Rose with Gabby and Rachel

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Becca and Michelle sit down with Rachel and Gabby live and in person before their Bachelorette journeys come to an end at “After the Final Rose.” The girls reflect on their journeys, including the ups and the downs. Gabby addresses Erich’s blackface photo. Plus, Rachel talks about Tino’s cheating and shares her side of the story. Then, the girls discuss what they’ve learned from being the Bachelorettes.Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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honestly have ever seen. There is so much to unpack from it. And Michelle needed a little breather. So there's a lot to talk about from tonight's show. And we'll definitely come back to all of that later. But before the show, Michelle and I actually sat down with our girls Gabby and Rachel. And here is that conversation. Gabby and Rachel, welcome back to happy hour. We're so excited to have you here. And for all of our listeners, I have to preface this with, we have the girls before the actual live finale. So this is, but you guys still look like phenomenal. Sunny. Thank you. We have your makeup later. Yeah, this is before as in right before. us are. Just get that champagne flowing. How are you feeling going into this evening? That's a loaded

question. God, I think, who knows? Not, I mean, what do you call? Nailed it. Yeah. Not great. I would actually second. I have mixed emotions. Yeah, definitely. I think it's going to be hard. But hopefully there's some silver lining in the finale for both of us. Oh, definitely. What that's going to be? Yeah, you're a single woman. That is the silver lining. Get in Rachel's DM's connection.

Yes, you can say that. Everybody. It's a lot, baby. We're not only taking applications for the show. We're taking applications for Rachel, too. Absolutely. I'd like to say this is our official campaign for Rachel to be bachelorette. In my own DM.

Wait, do you want to do this again? No. You wouldn't say no, right? You would just do it yourself. Yeah, I'm going to do it again in my DMs. I love this. Wait, can we be like the Patty Stangers and be the matchmakers here? I'll vet everyone through you guys.

So I'll send you all the matches. Okay. And then we can eliminate them one by one as if it was like a real season. Via Instagram. Perfect. Is solely on your looks. And if you don't have an Instagram. Actually, I want to date someone who doesn't have an Instagram now.

I dig that. You know, someone who's just 50 followers. Absolutely. Do it. Do it. No, somebody who doesn't even have Instagram. Yeah. That's a good.

Take it back to MySpace. They can only have a MySpace and that's it. Right. One of those. I don't do social media. Me either. Okay. Well, let's just actually start for real here.

Cheers to you both for finding the best friendship. And for expanding that because I feel like now we can finally have our girls nights together. Finally, we can finally talk shit. All this shit. And maybe we'll have you on again tomorrow to talk even more shit. Who knows? We could go in for days. Yeah.

It's like my steroid. It feeds me. It is my human growth hormone. It makes me strong. Before we get into everything, we really could talk to you guys forever. But before we get into the details and everything, we are going to start off on a fairly positive note because Gabby, dancing with the stars you did absolutely wonderful but you had your girl here in the audience how

was that well first i want to know like how how was it before you step on stage your first dance and then rachel how was it watching her honestly seeing rachel because she was right next to me when i came out on stage and we were able to like kind of connect and like almost talk to each other it was like so grounding because i was like this is real life that's one of my best friends I can be myself, like, that's all I need. So it was honestly the best thing I could have asked for, like, in that moment before kicking my legs off and my face. It was so good.

I was acting like a feral, wild animal. Like, some point I'm like, I should probably stop screaming because she's never going to invite me back to dancing with this time. No, no, please. Never stop screaming. It was so much fun, though, because right when she got in her swan in the beginning, she was, like, twirking. We were just looking at each other, and it felt like how we always act. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It was the best. Have you met Val, her partner? I did. And I met his wife, Jenna. They're both incredible people. I think they're going to do so amazing this season.

She has so much support behind her. And, I mean, I see the mirror ball in our future. Hell, yeah. I say, Auer, like I'm a part of you. I'm like mine, too, my association. You're like the crowd partner, as you should be. The mirror ball is going to go in your apartment. I'm going to put in my Instagram bio.

I'm just the mirror ball. Gross. We're going to list it on your dating profile. Yeah. Duh. Just have that be the profile picture. So I want to ask you, Gabby, how different is filming and doing the show and press for Dancy with the Stars versus doing the Bachelorette? Because I can imagine it's vastly different.

So different. Yeah. In our interviews and stuff, I'm ready to elaborate to, like, connect to an emotional experience. And they're like, tell me what your song is. And I'm like, that's all you want to talk about. But tell me why it makes you feel the way it does. Right. Ask me more.

You're digging deeper. Yeah, but it's also kind of a relief because I feel like, not I've exhausted my emotions, but I've really worked up that part of me, like the vulnerable emotional side. So now it's nice to just have a break, to have people see me in a different light. But there is still a lot of overlap. Like putting yourself out there on that stage is vulnerable. You have to lean into like, I could make a mistake, you know, I'm not perfect. And somebody is seeing this very intimate side of me that, you know,

I'm like pretty good at but not great yeah you're incredible yeah you were a cheerleader too right so like you how is it different how is the same like remembering all the different movements yeah I think by the end of my cheerleading career I was like you know I got this I have the style down I know how to perform I'm comfortable with this role so I thought I would feel that going into dancing but I I'm a novice you know I feel like I'm in dance class for the first time It's, like, definitely a hit to the ego, but in the best way, because I think we all need reminders that there are other things out there that we can work for and live for. And as adults, you want to do things, try things that are new because that's, like, all a part of life. So I think having that right in front of my face is a blessing.

How are the dogs feeling? God, they're barking. Can I see? Oh, right? Give us a little. Yes. Oh, I'm sure. They're probably blisters.

I just heard your hip-hop. Yes. I'm never in flats. And, like, I've adopted so many slides in flats because the balls and my feet, the balls of the dogs. Yeah. All the dogs are barking. Yeah. I love it.

Okay. They're not numb? They're not numb. But I wish they were. Let's actually ask, let's start on a high note. And then we'll, of course, get into some of the drama that we will see tonight. but overall you guys have traveled all over the world you've obviously been able to do it as best friends which i am so jealous of what would you say was the highlight of both of your journeys

i think going off that is honestly just our friendship and i think now looking back and going through everything airing and watching it back together our friendship and our support system is that much more important but i think just going through the journey with another person was the best thing that I could have asked for and really made my experience. Yeah. And I think people like all the time want to say like, oh, you know, this is all for the show or it's all this. And I'm like, if you're with us for 10 seconds, you can very clearly see like the support

we've had since day one. We never wavered. We always put each other first. And I mean, looking at where I am now, I mean, like, if I came out of this and truly didn't have Gabby, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. And with you guys as well, I do want to thank you because you both have been. in there for me. And it's amazing that we do have this, like, support system as Bachelorettes. But I think we can all agree that this is kind of the real love story that came out. For sure.

It's always going to be there. I do too. I really hope you guys know that just even like after this whole experience, it's such a wild one, but you truly are not. I mean, regardless of what happens, you truly are not leaving empty handed whatsoever. And it's just, it's so easy to just compare and, you know, well, we didn't get to do this or I wanted this out of it, you know? Like, but like you truly are not leaving empty handed and there's so many just different things that you are going to be prepared for that you are going to keep your eye out for that yeah you know that and just like the different like bonds that you make is just something that like people don't actually understand yeah because you run into people they're like

is it like do you actually like go through these emotions like is it actually real that's that's the thing like people still don't understand that it's yes it's a show but it's still you saying everything, feeling everything, like trying to fall in love and trying to navigate like 74,000 different relationships. It's like, yes, it's real. And to add on to what Michelle just said, too, is like, you aren't leaving empty handed. You'll have, I mean, so many opportunities will come from this. Obviously, dance with the stars, but like even bigger things. And I know that the seasons probably didn't pan out like you thought and how you expected. And they went way off course. And right now, like just speaking from my own experience, I know it probably sucks,

but it is the best thing that could have probably ever happened. Just to have everything pan out in the way it did, it's got to be difficult. But like, you will look back in a month or a year and be like, thank God it did though. Thank God. Like, yeah. I think there's still a little bit of that even right now. I feel like big things like this, you can't process in the moment you have. You have to reflect on but yeah even going back to like rachel and i like our friendship is going to last forever it's so strong and you can't always say that about relationships so i'll always take a best friend over a man hell and i love that cheers to that any day let's make that our quote of the week everybody absolutely um i also want to say before i forget because i said it last

night to Rachel's mom, where was my invite to Disney World, to Disneyland? Yeah. Did you not go when you were the Bachelorette? No, I did not with you guys. She didn't come with us. I wanted to go. I didn't get it go because it was COVID. Oh, that's right.

I could go walk around myself, you know. You're like, not as fun. Yeah. I was just buying myself, you know, because I never got that. Michelle's like, I prefer that. You know, you people typically go out of the couple. Did you get like the back? Grown behind the scenes.

It was the best. Aunt Man is not single, just to let you know, not single. She's Ant Man. Good question. We didn't know. We didn't know either. We thought he was Iron Man.

Yeah. To stay. But we know he's taken. He's married to another insect. So, sorry, Michelle, you're above that. She's like, I've already been there, done that. Yeah. Squash.

Yeah. Buzz. Yeah. But so, okay. So. We're going to get off tangent. We are so getting off tangent and how they're going to kill us. But, like, sorry.

Just switch gears, just even more to more of a serious note just because it is, you know, the things that we have to talk about. Right. Or that I want to give you guys time for you to talk about as well and address. But, you know, coming into this experience, you really, you know that there's going to be a lot. You know that there's going to be unexpected things. But there's sometimes where you can't think just how unexpected, like any of the things that have really taken, you know, know, account during the season are not anything that you could even really like sit and think up, right? And so one of those things, Gabby, with you is just even like the controversy

that controversy that's taken place. And that has caught you off guard and has put you in a position to really, you know, have to process that and to deal with that and acknowledge that. And so, you know, everything that it was and is going on with Eric and, you know, the black face and these issues that are sadly not the first time that bachelor nation has dealt with something like this yeah what are your you know what are your thoughts what are what is going through your mind during these moments that this is starting to process i want to add on to that like what was going through your mind when that was first brought to light and then you know fast forward to now like how have you been able to process that and like what are you thinking about all of that now yeah i think at first

you know, I was devastated. I had a pit in my stomach. I couldn't really believe it because I think I've worked so hard to educate myself and to become the woman I am today, which comes from wanting to push yourself, wanting to learn, taking that upon yourself to really grow because unfortunately you're not always taught these things when you're growing up. So when it was right in front of my face when I know myself hopefully I would never put myself in that position intentionally like I know who I am but I am with a man who did this so then that's a reflection of me so it took me a long time to process and you know Eric did write an apology which is what he was supposed to do you know at the very least but I feel like I'm still processing but

ultimately I made a decision to be with him and now it's our problem. So now it's my turn to really teach him and try and enforce how important it is to me and really try and like help him learn from the root of why this is an issue, not like what you did was bad, but let's go back to where it came from and how we can learn from it. It's not ever a position that I would want to be in but if I have a chance to help someone grow you know I almost think like maybe it is meant to be because you know social issues even being a being a woman is being a minority in some sense it's it's very different but we really come into ourselves have to stick up for ourselves kind of understand where that came from so for me to be able to teach someone else who's willing

to listen is I the only place I can go from here that's actually a good good point that you bring up that I am curious about because I was in a very similar situation after coming off of my season with the person I chose. And at that moment in time, I mean, I was kind of like you very taken aback. It's like you have this pit in your stomach and you don't necessarily know where to turn. I, like you, was allowing this person and thinking and hoping that I would give them the space and the time and the means and education to grow and learn and change. You know, that's what I was hearing. And ultimately, like, in my situation, that didn't end up being the case. And, you know, I learned two and a half years down the

road that, you know, the words and actions weren't lining up. And so do you think Eric is in a place where he is genuinely open to changing and growing or is he kind of just at a place where he's saying that now to appease the public eye? Definitely. No, that's a great question. And truthfully, I don't know because we're not, we're still. in it you know we don't have time to like move past it because it's it all happened so recently but i do think that he's in a place where he wants to change and wants to grow and we talk about social issues so much because it's something that i myself you know hold important so he knows even before all this happened that i have opinions that i'm going to push him so he knows

being with me it it comes with the territory we have to be able to talk about these things I never knew he was going to be the subject, but I feel like I kind of primed him for this. And I do hope, and I think he's in a place in his life where he can really reflect and look back and become better. And it's so hard. It's like why, how is our society still dealing with this stuff? But it is. It's still right in front of our nose. And unfortunately, this was a huge reminder that it's, you know, we have so much work to do.

And I hope that he's willing to put in the work and kind of become, you know, an example for his community. Like if people look up to him as being a white man who has experienced privilege, but he admits his wrong and wants to change and grow, maybe he can be kind of a person that other people like him can learn from because they can relate to him. Do you think he's, and again, it's still early on. you are in the midst of all of this. So only 10 will tell. But do you think he is the type of person that will actually be having those conversations with his friends, with his family, with people in the community?

I hope so. And I think even just, you know, what happened in the discussion around the show and friendships that he's built, he's talked a lot about it, you know, and just I think it's most important in this circumstance to not be defensive and be open and willing to hear the other perspective because you know that is his position our position at this time is just to listen and to learn and not to put up a defense and I feel like he's he's shown that and is taking steps towards that I think it's just I mean I do I really do feel for you Gabby just with you know there's not a lot of time to really realistically get to know somebody right like you

you you feel like you talk about the important things use your time to talk about and plan for those important things. And then there's other things, you know, that come forward. I think what's just so difficult, especially being a woman of color in my position in a very, very white world, call it what it is, white franchise. And I think it's difficult because we're here again. And, you know, we did go through this with Matt season, right? We went through all these other things and it's really easy to put in the work because it's what makes you more comfortable. It makes you, you know, allows you to put your energy and focus in that direction to change that thing as people are kind of, you know, really putting the pressure on you to change.

I think my biggest thing is that what I really want to see from Eric is that when this passes, because it comes in waves and then it disappears, when it passes, will you still find the time to seek out information? And that's my biggest piece is the fact that it is great to bring awareness and it is great to like, you know, you have all these big events and things happen. But people like me sit back and, you know, a month down the road when it's not the talk and it's not in the tabloids, are you still setting aside time? Because life's busy. Right, right. It's easy to make time for it now because that's what the issue is. That's what the focus is. But I really, really hope to see Eric make time for this and for others.

in his same situation to make time for this and for you to challenge him and us as the same. You really never stop learning, but to make time to seek out knowledge and to kind of peel back those biases, that privilege, like those layers of all of that, a month down the road when this is not the focus. Yeah. And thank you because, you know, I want to ask your advice and how you feel because I do still like want to learn and kind of be better. And I think with myself, just with any free time I have, I want to make myself better in these

scenarios and be able to speak from a place of knowledge and confidence because I'm not always going to be able to speak from experience. And I have made it such a big part of my life that naturally someone who's this close to me as your other, he would be around it and exposed to it because it is something. that I always want to do, that I take pride in, that really is something that, yeah, I just want to do better for myself. And naturally, you have those conversations with the person who's by your side. So, and honestly, I felt the same way. You know, I was talking about it with some other people and they were like, yeah, well, it's kind of blown over. And I'm like, that is a problem.

You know, that is still a reflection of our society. And it brings us back to the initial kind of offense is that you know it does blow over so fast but that that isn't a good thing that shows us you know right like why we are still in this position today so thank you no and we'll definitely do more talking as well and it's just yeah please you very much are seem like you have your head you know in in the right spot and and yeah there's a lot going on and we could talk about this piece I mean, it's a really serious topic, but we are going to continue to move on. Rachel's like, shit. Rachel take a deep breath, take a big drink.

We are going to switch focus here. And I do appreciate you being so open because I know that's not easy as well, but you speaking up and where you stand and setting that firm. No, and thank you for being honestly so like almost non-judgmental in this and being able to teach us and for people who are, like willing to learn. Yeah and I wouldn't it yeah judgmental is not judging you know it's just it's sense of urgency I think is probably the best way I can put it is that there needs to be a sense of urgency you know it's it change it takes a long time um but with this it's just especially coming from

like a teaching background you know yeah and all of that and you know people can say well that was however many years ago and all those different things and to kind of even like put it in perspective It's like when this event took place, unfortunately, you know, Obama was in office. When this took place, you know, I could pluck out a first grader from my school and they would very well know that that's not something, you know, and it just definitely needs to be an understanding and like that knowledge at a really young age. And I do see that, you know. And just playing off of that, like the show's about love, about ultimately finding a partner who you're going to get engaged to,

married to spend your life with. And so I think something that at least I'm sure for all of us have thought about it. And if that's the case is like, how are we going to raise our kids eventually? If that's something that you want down the line, like you really have to be aligned in your morals and values. And that's something that we've all learned like from past relationships. Like you were probably aligned with some of your exes and you probably were not aligned with some of them. And so I think that's what's important is that now you can have more of those deep conversations projecting forward into the future, too, to make sure your entire family is on the same page. And again, I don't know if children is something that you want in the future or not.

And if that is, it's just a conversation. And this is a part of that conversation. Yeah. But, yeah, like Michelle said, moving on to you, Rach. Yeah. So all around just such difficult situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So many large, just intense. situations. I don't even, maybe it's like, we know we want happy endings. We also know that that doesn't always happen. And so breakups, I'm recently going through breakup in the public eye, you know, Rachel, you are right in the heart of it. You are right in the middle of it. It's not something that you expected, you know, especially when you're like, I'm doing the work. You know,

you're the bachelor. It is your turn to find love and, you know, things happen. And this is a very difficult thing that you are going through specifically, Rachel, as well. And one, Beck and I admire and feel for you with what you're going through, because this is absolutely, but your strength. I will say, like, the strength and the poise that you have and just the fact that you continue to show up and the fact that you're like still sitting down here to do this podcast to talk with us about it and, you know, you have to go on stage and talk about it. Like, that's not an easy feat. It's like, I'm sure you're dreading it. I can imagine. I've been in your shoes. But you are poised. You are still patient and kind and willing to kind of get through this hardship in this moment of

your life. And I think after having some conversations with you is like you see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I just have to commend you for still showing up and being here and supporting Gabby and, you know, sharing the rest of your story in this little chapter of life. Like, it's hard, but your strength is so admirable. It really is. Oh, I mean, I appreciate it. Thank you, obviously. And Michelle, again, we kind of are in the same boat.

So it is amazing to have you and to be able to bounce everything off you because this isn't easy. And obviously, it's not the outcome. I mean, Gabby and I have been doing this for a year straight this week. And to go through everything. Everything we went through. I know. It's just crazy because you go through so much on the bachelor's side and then to get in this role of being the bachelorette knowing that, you know, we both want commitment.

We've said that from day one. And again, I feel like we've never wavered from just wanting someone who wanted to love us and be with us and stand next to us. And that's all we've ever asked for. And I think there even has been a lot of controversy recently with maybe the way the show is laid out. And is that still right to this day? And I think me and her, I mean, we've talked about it at length. We're women and we know what we want. And we came into this process knowing that we wanted someone to commit to us.

And to be, you know, going through this process and putting in the work after and we all know how hard that is after, it's the hardest part. And to not even be able to get through that, not even halfway through the show and already be standing in the same spot I was at our last after the final rows. It's difficult. But like you guys all said in the beginning, it's just. kind of what was supposed to happen and it probably at the end of the day is a blessing that I know now instead of a year down the road so you bring up such a good point about just the commitment just I think in society it's society is very materialistic right we're capitalists absolutely money money money which is not always whatever the worst thing but I really do think

people fixated on both of you for the word engagement and I want to take a minute to point out what you just said because you said commitment like I want somebody who believes in me I want somebody who's going to put in the work after and so you using the words engagement on the show correct me if I was wrong when you were going through that whole process when you were saying the word engagement you were literally speaking to I want the engagement because I want someone who is going to put in the work after who is going to be loyal regardless who is going to be loyal and respectful in it which the audience bachelor nation is like oh they just want the ring no no it's like you have to read between the

lines like you truly have not feel like you haven't been chosen and when you are saying i want the engagement it's because you want someone to verbally commit to you and in today's society that's an engagement right that's what i thought or kind of tried to express the whole time it's like i don't just want a ring it's a it's a symbol of a commitment and for me i've i've been you know i've dated all of them and I've never been in a point in my life where I'm ready to stay with all of them. But that's what an engagement meant to me is like someone who's who's done the work in their life, who's at a place in their life where they're ready to commit to someone forever. So I do think timing is a lot.

You have to work on yourself. You have to, you know, have everything in place for you to make somebody else your priority. So when people are, you know, kind of the feedback from the audience saying, we fixate, too much on an engagement. It's like I understand if you're only thinking about surface level stuff. But if big picture, that's why we're here is because we believe in the process, because there would truly be no stakes if I went in thinking like, well, just get a boyfriend. Like if I wanted a boyfriend, then I would have walked away with like four or five of them.

I would have left week seven. Yes. Yeah, but I just want one. Exactly. And it's not just because like I am materialistic or because. I want a ring or because I think it's, you know, kind of, um, like buzzwords or clickbait for the show. It's like that's the easiest way to define on, you know, what we committed to, which is

being the bachelorette's is like the most kind of definitive way to explain to everybody else where I'm at in my life, which is ready to be engaged, ready to be married. You're ready for that and, and more so you are, you're ready for that. and you are looking to see who else is ready for that. Right. Well, that's like the whole going through this entire season, anyone's season, it's like to weed out who is ready and who's not ready. Like who is.

Which is half the battle. Yeah. More than half the battle. We know this. But I think when they see us say, I want engagement, they're like, oh, well, you want, you know, the Neil Lane ring. And while it's beautiful, I'm sitting here with that. I do want it.

I do want it. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. It's beautiful. But that's not why me and Gabby are here. We're here because we want someone. to stand next to us through these difficult times and for someone to be supportive.

And if at the end of the day, Tino got down on when he was like, you know, I can't give you this ring, but I want to commit to you for the rest of my life, I want to be with you. That's all I was looking for. And I mean, I think also going along with that same conversation, looking into watching myself the last week with Avin, and that is what he was telling me. But at the time, I mean, there was so much confusion and there was so much happening. And I could watch my own walls go up and I could see me thinking he was pulling away. I think there's just so many things going into that.

My walls kind of went up with him too watching it back because for me it seems like he's like I am ready to get engaged but I want to make sure the timing is right. And I understand that now looking back and I think there's so many things you can watch back and understand. I also think it was confusing because it's like if timing isn't right then that means maybe you're not ready. Like and maybe he didn't know the words to explain himself but I think you have a right to be confused. I think also there's so many different layers and it's like every, like humans, we behavior, we act or we move forward based on our experiences. You had a very tough, like, go of it with, you know, you had these men that were just all of a sudden trying to, you know, switch around or, right? Both of you guys did or, or, you know, I'm like backing out all of a sudden. So how would you not be on the defense?

Like, even, you know, even taking it back to clean with you too. Exactly. it's like that those are part of your experiences so like as somebody who's watching you know like when people are i i don't know why but like i dislike when people are oh this person's crying too much like can we just clarify that crying is not a weakness like if you have anxiety is my favorite hobby if i mean really like seriously rachel like i i love how you just you made like a ticot or something about like joking and making fun of yourself but like to clarify crying is not a weakness Okay. So crying is not a weakness. Showing emotion is not a weakness.

Anxiety. Depression is not a weakness. Now, like... Do you know who needs to listen to this five second part is somebody's father? Yes. Crying is not a weakness. In fact, I think it's a strength. Yes. Because you're not trying to hide it. You're like, I'm trying to be my realest self and I'm going to cry. You're not processing through everything and you can't get to like the next step that you should be at in a situation or you're life if you're not like working through all those emotions and feelings exactly i think it's i think it's cowardly and i think it's a weakness when you when you let it stop you from showing up and you've continued to show up so regardless of what emotions you show you've never failed to show up we've

had people fail to show up oh we've had people fail to show up right like let's not point to crying as a weakness that's not the weakness here no i agree and i think people forget like we we do have multiple relationships at this point like in the game and they're compartmentalized so one breakup is going to hurt because you're losing someone no matter who's on the other side of things no matter how many people you have left i'm mourning this relationship you were like no because that's how real it is yeah and that's what you have to do to be successful i think as the bachelor bachelor bachelor are at. Okay, so Rachel, I want to give the mic to you for a little bit because tonight, viewers are going to see a lot. And we all know how social media works and everything's going to be swirling

around and people are going to make their own assumptions and everything. So I want to give you some time to just talk through your situation where you're at, like when you were going through that breakup, where you're at now, like clear the air. I don't want you to feel like. I don't want you to feel like you're leaving here with anything left unsaid. Yeah. And I mean, I talked to both Gabby and Michelle so much about this already. And I just want to obviously start by saying, I am not perfect. I was not perfect when I left here with Tino.

I mean, we all go through that struggle, I think, when you leave the show and you have those natural, just growing pains in a relationship of being long distance and having to communicate on the phone. And it's a struggle when you get into any relationship at the beginning. especially when your entire relationship is filmed. Now you're just in the real world. And you're engaged. Exactly.

So, I mean, there's so much. And I'm not sitting here and saying he is completely at fault for the lack of communication we had in the beginning. It was all just both of us. And when I left here, I was so happy. I mean, beyond happy. And things started to obviously go a little bit south. And we both needed to work on a relationship. And I think what the difference is with him and I is that I never wavered from committing

and waking up every day and working towards this commitment with him and this life with him so I could sit here today with Jesse Palmer and be like, I'm engaged and I've worked a whole year to like get myself to a point to be in this position where I can finally be happy. And it's just really hard when one person can just break so easily at the first. first sign of a weakness in the relationship and I mean there's just so many things happening and I think he has his own story and obviously he has the right to tell that but Gabby knows my family knows you guys know there was never a point where we were broken up there was never a point where an engagement was called off did we have conversations saying you know we need to focus on

dating we need to like really get to the core of this yes was there a moment where we exactly all in this situation. Normal conversations. And like that's where that's a healthy conversation because you guys are being real. Correct. And that's where I hope you understand, Rachel, is the fact, or like just anybody watching is the fact that like when things are difficult in a relationship and you're talking about going back to dating, my parents talk about dating, going back to dating all the time.

Like, let's make sure you never stop dating the person you spend your life with. Right? And it's so natural in this scenario. like everything is so sped up like yes you leave engaged you know you have the ring on your finger now but you still have to take that time to date and to get to know one another and see how your lives mesh and see how you can mold into each other's lives in the best way possible so anyone leaving the show is going back and it's kind of like you're reverting to that boyfriend girlfriend phase in some way because that's you have to every one of us did it right every better ever it's not different yeah and I think

that's maybe I can only just try to get on his side and assume that's where confusion was coming from because we were struggling. And I don't think there's an excuse. I'm not making excuses. But I don't want to sit here and for everyone to tell me that like, well, you said this. And I didn't. I never said I was giving a ring back. I never said our engagement was called off. But he was upset that we were in a bad place. And instead of sitting there and doing the work like I did and taking that, space for myself and seeking help and focusing on this he ran straight to someone that he was apparently not seeing but seeing before the show to in some capacity before yeah and and that's where the struggle is and then not only that keeping it from me for weeks this was around the time of

the premiere yeah and and we're talking mental all is when i when i found out that long he sat on this information sat in front of me and told me I need to do all this work on myself for our relationship together which I agree and he did too we're not perfect but you're sitting on this information that you are actively seeking comfort and intimacy with another person and then and then trying to turn it on me when you finally reveal it to me which wasn't an act of courage and that I need to tell you this it was pulling on a string enough that it finally came out and when it did did. It wasn't, I needed to tell you this. It was, I wish I never told you this. And please don't tell anyone. And that's where I have a problem. Always like with, with relationships and struggle and

conversations and controversy, it's like your character that shines through. It wasn't actually about like, I'm, duh, the action. Duh. But like if you were like a good partner and you wanted to fight for this person, your first instinct wouldn't have been to run. So that's like his character coming through. Yeah, but also, you would apologize. Like, still up to this point, you would, you know, like, if this really happens, even watching the breakup, he, like, never genuinely apologized or checked on you. How are you doing?

Like, how can I support you? It was my reputation, my reputation, very one-sided, very, what I'm going to say, because I've dated them in the past, a very narcissistic move. I think we all have. But like where it was, he first kind of deflects and tries to push it off on you, make you feel guilty of like, oh, well, I did this because of X, Y, Z, which doesn't even excuse the behavior whatsoever. But then he comes back and is just like, I want to make this work.

Let's make this work. We can do this. Do you want to do this? I'm like, that's not even a fair position to put you. Because then when you say no, it's that you don't want to work on this when it's not actually going to the root of what caused this. divide. Exactly. Exactly. He didn't take any accountability. Not at all. And over and over and over again, he's like, well, is this going to work? Is this going to work? I'm leaving if it's not going to work.

Just break up with me. You haven't even told me the answers. Because Gabby knows every single time he tells this story, something changes. A detail changes. First, it's a kiss at a party. And then it's a kiss in an Uber on the way to her house where his car is parked. Like, where is the story connecting. So when you're lying, you can't get your story straight. And that's why he's getting up multiple times and trying to figure this out and then coming back and putting it on me well is this going to work because then I'm leaving well even his demeanor changed

like conversation by conversation it's like we're talking to three different men or see three different men on the screen because he knew he was at fall and he'd be like okay I can be better this all over the place yeah yeah it's like he and I'm going to say this because I've been in a very similar situation

and there were things in my relationship that started on the bachelor that I know about until later on, like once the breakup had already happened. But regardless of if you are taking some space to process an argument or a fight, there should be no other person involved at that point. And he was engaged to you. Whether he wants to admit that or not, he wasn't he admitted it all right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing he said. And I want to also preface saying that me and Gabby and all of us, we are girls, girls. And this woman truly did not know. Yeah. She is not. I don't, you know what I mean, but you know the world. And I do want to say that.

Yeah. It's not on her. It's not on her. He did tell me, he said, the moment I kissed her, I told her I was engaged. And that's where the problem lies for me with this excuse of, well, you and I weren't engaged. Well, why is that the first thing you chose to tell her when you were trying to stop yourself from going further? Yeah, because he was in too deep. And he knew it. Yeah. When you want to be engaged. Yeah. And my main takeaway, like watching this entire conversation unfold is I'm thinking, like, what would happen if you had stayed together longer? And like, there wasn't just an argument and miscommunication and you're trying to work through something. Like, what would happen if something really hit the fan with somebody's health or safety or like you have children involved and something goes south? What is he going to do in that situation? If he does this at this moment in time and goes out and kisses somebody when he's still engaged with you, yeah i'm sure the information will come out yeah but it's like what would happen if something really went out how would he really yeah exactly and and that's all i've ever asked for and a partner especially being in the career i'm in where i will be away and we will have times where i'm having a fight with you and i'm gone for five days you've already proven within one month not even of our relationship that you can't be faithful to me in a fight or in a hard time and there's no

no excuse for that. And I don't think there's another side to that. I think Gabby, you hit it right on the head when you were talking about just, I mean, how quickly these characteristics are brought out. It's so unfortunate, Rachel, to be going through this breakup. In public, it's a lot, it's a lot of pressure. Everything comes out really fast, faster than you can process it. But, like, your character shows. And I always say that, like, when shit's hit, when shit is truly hitting the fan, every human goes back to their default. What is that default? Is it a person who, you know, wants to hop on and try to protect their reputation, you know, through, through lies, through being, through lies, yeah, do you know what I mean?

Literally. I know. Right. But like, seriously, though, like, that's the reason why is, like, everyone goes to their default. And because the public is involved, because it now points to your reputation, not just your reputation with the person your own relationship, but the world reputation, right? A little more forceful, which people feel like. Yeah. It's just like, you know, stay true to who you are you have safe kind you you've stuck to your guns you know what's right you know what's wrong you can smell through the bullshit and not everyone's going to do that not everyone's going to be able to read that there might be people who dislike you because they feel like Tina's telling the truth or whoever is telling the truth but just know that you

have people in your corner gabby you have people in your corner like you are not going to be able to please everybody but you should be able to sleep at night knowing you know what happened you know how it went down you know you know exactly where everything lies and it's unfortunate but you can only spend so much energy you know trying to clean up after his mess when he should be the one cleaning it up you know he is the mess he is the mess exactly such a mess he's been the mess he stays the mess yeah you know what this is giving me vibes of right now. Have you seen the first wives club? No.

Shut up. No one here has seen the first wives club? What? Oh my God, you guys. What is it? Don't get mad. Get everything. Okay. Well, we're such a good badass movie. We're all in L.A. no. Now, right? We're all going to be in L.A. First movie. Yes, Michelle

officially lives here now. I should live here. You're heading out here. I'm in hope her moves. Are you moving up? Yeah, I have a lease here or no. Hell yeah. Screw Thomas. I'm leaving San Diego. I'm coming back. But seriously, that's like the first, that's the first, like, wine or tequila.

I prefer to. Everything. First open bar movie night. Oh. Everyone should wish to be a fly on the wall the first time. We all see each other out there. I'm going to have everyone take their phones and put them in a basket. We have no phones.

The books we could sell. Truly. Wow. The stories of everything. I can't wait for that. It's going to be. We're going to have to. plan this very soon. We'll be watching movies at 613.

You're going to learn the real honesty. Or do. Come with TMZ. Yeah, we call the paparazzi and just so people can get the real tea. I was going to tell you what. I was just going to say the address. I was going to. But I switched the numbers around a little bit, you know. But.

Okay. I need you both to give. Well, okay, first off, this is a shameless plug for you because we need to keep go and dance with the stars. Vote at what number? Rachel knows. 2-15-2-3-G-A-B-B-Y. Obviously, your pros at Bachelor Happy Hour by now. We have everyone give their rose and thorn.

So since this season is now, thankfully, done, I'm sure you guys can breathe easy. What is your rose and what is your thorn for both of you? Honestly, start with the thorn and end with the rose because we're ending on a happy note today. Amen. There's been a lot of negativity with everybody else. So, yeah. You want to, do you want to start, Gabby? Yeah, I feel like I'm just going to sum it up, like, the thorn is the controversy

that we're both enduring and my rose is Rachel. Yeah. I have to say my thorn is Tino Fras. No. You say his number, his address, yeah. You're like, eggs are welcome. But yes, obviously, my roses, Gabby, and I think just are. Bachelorette sisterhood because I truly do appreciate both of you and all the other bachelorets

who have reached out to us and supported us through this journey. And now we're on the other side and good luck to the next one. Good luck to the next one. Good Britain. We got you. I don't have any more champagne, but I'm going to raise a glass to the two of you for, oh, thank you. You can't cheers yeah backwash um but cheers to doing something no one has ever done or seen on this show before you guys had a crazy season but i will say you came out on the other end bigger better and only good things are going to happen from here cheers to you guys you guys know that we absolutely love you we adore you we are here for you regardless after this please take what i said to heart is like you're not leaving empty handed. Truly you're not leaving empty handed. You guys never wavered from who you were,

who you are, your friendship. You never let no damn boy get in between you guys. And that's hard. That's hard in this really like intense public situation. So I just, we love you. We love you guys so much. Hello, happy hour listeners. It's Michelle and Becca back once again. And even though we already have this week's episode and interview out with gabby and rachel we wanted to record this extra part to go over things that happened or didn't necessarily happen during after the final rose last night um it was a heavy one there was a lot to take in with both women um but there was also stuff that we both wished was dressed on the stage that wasn't and that is And for anyone who doesn't know a little bit of context here, Eric, who Gabby is now heavily engaged to, came out a few weeks ago with photos in his old yearbook of him in Blackface.

And since then, he has issued an apology on his Instagram, but Michelle and I were really hoping it was addressed in last night's episode just because it is such a prevalent thing that is taking place in this country, but also something that keeps happening within this franchise. And so, Michelle, I want to give you the mic and give you some time to give us your thoughts and feelings. I feel like your voice needs to be amplified. This is a conversation that needs to continue to happen and we need to be held accountable. We need to hold people accountable, which is why I would love to give you the mic and to get some things off of your chest and talk through this together. Yeah, you know, Becca, I think you and I walking into last night's episode. I think we knew a lot. We knew, you know, just kind of we had talked to Gabby and Rachel

about everything that had gone on and we knew that it was kind of going to just be a tough episode regardless without, you know, this other racism controversy on top of it. And I think I know that I'm still processing it. But, you know, we're sitting side by side during this live show thinking that this is going to be something that's talked about, you know, and I come straight from Matt Jane season, which was all about racial

controversy and, you know, the change within the franchise that needs to be made and that is going to be made. And so, you know, I think me and Caitlin's sitting there in the audience as this show is like progressing, you know, we're moving through Tino's segment. And then as we get to Gabby segment, I think we were very, very shocked as we kind of started to process and realize that, you know, the show is addressing the text messages between Eric and this ex-girlfriend that came out. But as it was going on, we were not addressing the blackface. And I don't know, I mean, for those who are watching, that last segment, kind of once we got to Zach's, you know, introduction as the next bachelor, you know, I would, I excuse myself.

on the stage. And just because I was so upset and I was so angry that I felt like I had put myself in a situation where I felt completely silence. And, you know, thinking about, you know, the pop community at home and all of us were expecting this franchise to address this and navigate through it. And we've been here before. Why are we? we here again and not only why are here we again but why are we making the same mistakes of how we are addressing it or completely not addressing it um and so i know becca you were also very upset and understood why i was no longer on the stage and excuse myself but i think i think with where i'm at is hurt i'm exhausted um i

I have been with this franchise for the last two years and have really, really pushed for different changes to happen. And for this mistake to be made is just unacceptable. And it's for me personally, it's there's no reasoning, there's no excuse of we didn't have enough time because that's that's your statement with how you view this community then or maybe we like it was forgotten or it was not just like nobody it crossed nobody's mind or it was intentionally you know pushed off whatever the reason is for me it doesn't matter because you're still feeling the exact same way

you are still completely not acknowledging this entire community of people and I felt like I was hurt just because it's like why why wouldn't we talk about this we talked about it on mat season was it because it was a black bachelor is it any less important because you know Gabby or Eric are not black or a person of color you know it's just like I I'm still processing but like I the more I talk about it I just continue to get more and more angry yeah and um I want to feel like the franchise is pushing for change and I want to feel like you know me as Bachelor and Matt as Bachelor and Rachel Lindsay and all these other things and

just that it wasn't just all performative and we're kind of sitting back to wait to see if it was or was not but this situation it really does feel like the expectation and the standards is set of you know how we're viewed or not viewed or not seen. Right. And just to add on, I don't think we had any expectation that that would not be addressed. We went in last night thinking by all means that that that was going to be a conversation that's had because otherwise I would have not sat in the audience. If I knew it wasn't going to be addressed, I wouldn't go and support that, you know, like if I, you know, or even if I thought it was going to be just like sprinkled over, I wouldn't have gone. Like there's, you know,

a decent part of the conversation should have gone to that. And so, yeah. Yeah. I, and I saw you afterwards, you were visibly shaken, upset, rightfully so. I totally understand. And I actually had a conversation with Thomas afterwards because he wasn't there, but I called him and I told him everything that went down because he hadn't seen it yet because we were there earlier. But I told him what went down and like what to expect. And he was baffled. And I, prior to going on in recording this part, I really wanted to have a conversation with him because he is a black man. And his voice, I think, needs to also be heard and amplified.

And I asked him, like, me going on this podcast, I want to be your voice and just try to relay how you felt in that moment, you know, not even having this issue be acknowledged in any way, shape, or form. And his main takeaway was he's also so frustrated. and he he said it best he said it was a conscious effort made to not talk about it which is the problem and and he had posted on his stories about it and a lot of the DMs he's been getting are people brushing it over to and and saying it's not an issue and if somebody apologizes and it happened years ago don't keep bringing it up but that's the problem it's like we still have to have these conversations, right? Like we were having this conversation, a very similar, very, very similar conversation on my season, which was back in 2018. And at that point, I was in a different

headspace. I made a ton of mistakes. And I was definitely in the wrong. I handled that situation so poorly, but we still had the opportunity to address it and talk about it. And since then, I have still been trying to be better and I will always be better and I will still always make mistakes. But that's where you have to start is to address it and have a conversation and that's where we're at. And so to see you and to see Thomas now who this has happened several times after several consecutive seasons, why don't we have a better plan in place? And that's a whole other conversation to be had and it's not going to be had with us on this podcast. But I think something can at least start here with us and so and i just wanted your voice to be heard because

i was i was incredibly and still am incredibly upset with how it was handled how was not handled um and you know it's just even after you know as i was left the stage and i just like what do i do with this energy right what do i like what do i like what do I do with this? And kind of like you said with Thomas, kind of there was definitely a moment as I was speaking to others. There was definitely, you know, because I'm visibly upset. I'm angry. I'm crying. Like I'm normally like a fairly common like composed person. You're always cool calm and collected. Right. Right. Like I was visibly flustered, crying, upset, angry, you know. And so people are going to try to figure out, you know, what's going on. And it took a

a minute for people to realize what just went down, what had just happened. And, you know, I did sit down and speak with some of the executive producers about how this was handled. And they haven't seen me visibly upset like that before. But to really express that, like, I don't want an apology. I don't want a reason. I want this to be fixed. I want these mistakes to not happen because they shouldn't be happening. Period.

You know, we've been through this, however many times. Like, this is all we have to, like, we need to open our eyes and listen. I mean, even before going in the episode tonight, like, we pay attention to the buzz online. We pay attention to what's being tweeted, what's being spoken about, what the controversies are about. And so there was already buzz about, whether this was going to get, you know, spoken about or covered or not by, you know, by the pop community. Like, it was already pointed out and just even, like, be sitting there in the audience. And there are other, you know, people of color in the audience as well.

And just, like, as the show continued to go on, looking into their eyes and making eye contact, there was a certain energy. There was an energy that, like, we knew what was happening. we very well knew what was happening there was an energy change and the problem with that is the fact that nobody else around sensed that energy change except for the people of color that's the issue that's the privilege and like what you kind of said with with thomas and the messages that he got or he received of like well wait what's what's the issue he already issued an apology I'd be very curious or almost like you don't even need to know like the you know the race of those people sending those messages probably not people of color right and so how are you to sit back and say that a situation especially a racial racial situation or feeling or you know is taking care of when you are not that race that's privilege right and you in the conversation that we had with gabby yesterday for the podcast

you made it such a good point and that was like continue to have these conversations and to especially for me and being in the white community and the fan base I will say for this franchise is predominantly white

is to still try to put in the work and just learn and take five minutes to educate yourself on a topic and don't just do it right now because the heat is on because everything is so heightened in this week or this month, whatever it might be. And I think that was such a good point and something that I actively want to do. And I should have started this earlier, but I'm going to start a resource

page on my Instagram where people can go and take five, ten minutes every day to just click on one of the links to read an article or, you know, take an hour to watch a documentary. It will be there on my page and again like i have been in a very similar situation to gabby would i have done things differently in hindsight a thousand percent i can't go back in the past and change it i can only try to maybe give her advice for being in a very similar situation and i'm not perfect and i'm and i'd want this to come across as like holier than now like let me educate you that is not what i'm trying to do here but i also love to learn love to educate myself So I'm in the mindset of like, why not?

Why not to be a better ally? Why not educate myself more? And I can only hope and keep my fingers crossed that our listeners and viewers of this franchise are out there too to want to do the same. You know, like, why not? I think that's so important. Just like kind of, I feel, I'm going to speak for both of us, Becca, but correct me, correct me if you need to. But like, you know, you and me setting up different resources. pages we're not going to allow the excuse of i don't know where to start because we're going to

give you a place to start yeah i'll make it very very freaking easy for you we are going to make it very easy for you we're going to give you a place to start and that's the biggest thing is that like we had these conversations two years ago sitting on a stage and i've carried those with me you know that those still have weighed on me those still weigh on me those are always going to weigh on me because those situations happen very frequently. And I feel like in Bachelor Nation, yeah, it's amazing that we have so many supporters and diehard fans and all these different things. But the fact that this has happened so many times in different ways through this show is

like something has got to change. Something has got to change. And even I challenge, you know, everybody who's in. involved with the show. I know that, like, I get the busy schedules. I get back to back, you know, jumping from one thing show to the next to the next. You know, we're about to start paradise. But really, like, people who are producing the show, it's also your job to educate yourself. Because this one, this one was on that, them. This one right here, it's also on our viewers. It's also on Eric. It's also on, you know what I mean? Everybody involved to discuss it.

But for teaching, we have to do professional development all the time. And, you know, when I say that I'm not generalizing, right? I'm not generalizing when I say that not everybody's head is in the right spot. There are producers who sat with me last night and cried with me and know very well exactly what I'm speaking about because they feel it as well. And, you know, and then there are ones that, you know, maybe didn't notice, right? everybody's in a different place, everybody's in a different journey of, you know, what do you want to call it, becoming woke, becoming more educated on these types of things. But the degree to what this is happening is really not okay. And that's why I'm saying I'm challenging everybody to really, like every week. You should be setting time aside to learn about this. You should be getting to the point where you're seeking information, not just receiving it and reacting as it happens. And I think that's what I really want to see this franchise do is like professional development might be something that needs to take place, you know? We learn about implicit bias as teachers because we're dealing

with youth and creating and molding different like young minds to better the world. We have to do that as teachers, right? In a world where we live in a very diverse world, why wouldn't you want to have that same type of professional development because of all the different walks of life that coming into the show. And yes, it's reality TV. And there's business to it. And I get that. But at the same time, you want real love stories. The viewers want real love stories in the end. In order to get that, you have to understand the people that are there. And it can't just be white people. And so I do think that professional development should be something that should be a priority required. People will say, like, we want to see more all walks of life, more diversity on the screen.

Which, yes, that is so important, but also behind the screen, too. And I think that's one takeaway that we witnessed firsthand last night is we need more people of color in the executive levels to help make these conversations actually happen and push the needle forward, move the needle forward, whatever the saying is. And, yeah. And I guess, like, when sharing resources, one thing that I just, because it pertains to this situation in general, um is when people say because i've also gotten in my dms i'm sure you have we will definitely after this podcast is released or people are still going to say you know it wasn't that big of a deal eric liked jimmy hendricks which is something you'll notice in his apology that he states but it's not that it's like go back to when blackface was started and educate yourselves from

then on and know why now it is offensive And I, that's one of the, the articles I'll share on my resources here is it goes into a deep dive of the roots of blackface. And I think it was also, there's a documentary called 13th that I think touches on it too and talks a little bit about it. Like those are two great places to start. But knowing the why behind, it's not just like, you know, oh, he painted his face black. Like that's not a big deal. It's the why. And that's where we all can learn more because I didn't learn about that in.

elementary school or high school or college unfortunately which is definitely something I should have but you know I'm I'm doing it now but but it's just educating ourselves to the root of everything correct and I think that's what's it's so hard because okay so like if you there's just so many layers to everything and it doesn't meet you know there's so many different layers and you have to have people who are willing to peel back those layers of everything and understand, you know, the differences in growing up. And, like, there's just so many because those conversations, you know, I remember my dad sitting down with my brother and I as we started to turn 16.

And we had so many different conversations. My dad with us of getting pulled over exactly what you do, what you grab for speak like we practiced the lines of what we would say so that we could be safe like i was taught that i was i was taught about you know that where exactly where the n-word came from i was taught about the confederate flag i was taught about blackface i was taught i was taught about all these different things because my family had to raise me in a way to make sure that i was educated and to make sure that i stayed safe and so that's not necessarily the case typically the case, you know, in a white family.

Right. And so it's just like there, at this point, we have to seek out information to learn about those things because otherwise this is going to continue to happen. Right. And we're just repeating and going in circles and going in circles now. And, you know, it leaves us in a tough position because I know after tonight I'm emotionally exhausted, Becca, I know that you're emotionally exhausted. And it's really like how do you keep moving forward in a franchise that you feel like doesn't support you?

Right. And I want you to know as a friend, as an ally, like, I am here to support you no matter what. And that's why I think having this sit down right now and having this conversation was very necessary. We asked people to work overtime to make sure we could be here and do this. this is just the start and this isn't the first time we've had to have these conversations and this isn't the first time we've seen this on this franchise and sadly I don't think it's going to be the last but my only hope moving forward is that we don't have to like scramble to have another conversation because something didn't take place something should still be taking

place if this happens again a conversation still should be had and dressed in a much different better way and so yeah it's just been it's been you know it's been heavy and we we you know we do understand mistakes happen right like you kind of spoke about and we do you know that there's been so many different comments about like well production should be vetting the people like you know deeper to a deeper level so that they don't let any of these people on the show and it's like yes to a certain yes but now that this happened how How are we going to react to it? And this is how we reacted to it.

So it's like I feel like every single step we're not doing it correctly. We're more reactive, not proactive. Exactly. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. And so this is, this truly is really, like I challenge the viewers or listeners. I challenge, you know, Bastard Nation viewers, production, you know, just everybody to

set time aside every week to learn. And if you're not sure where to go, like you said, we're going to post some things on our resource highlight so that you have a place to start. But even if you understand everything that has happened, you know, myself, I still can learn. I still can listen to podcasts. I still can, you know, read a book. I still can watch a documentary. There's so many different pieces of like media now that you can can do you know you can find time you're in the car put on the podcast yeah you know you're cleaning put on the podcast or throw on the documentary and just listen to it there's just so many little things that you can do to do better and you just got to start and we all need to do better yeah yeah we all do better and we all do better i can't remember who said

that. Michelle, I am so happy we were able to sit down and I know this has taken so much out of you. I can see it. I want you to just take a little break. And if you need time away from the podcast, I will 1,000% understand, support you. I don't think this is going to change overnight. It's going to take some time. But I really just want you to take some time for yourself too and focus on you and give some self-love to you. But if there's anything else, you want to say right now, I mean, now's the time. Otherwise, we just got to move on from here and like you said, be better, do better. Yeah. No, I just, I think, you know, Beck and I are going to make up a point to kind of gear our listeners towards our resources or give just a few

minutes talking about it each week just so that I'm making sure that it's a constant part of our conversation and as a as a reminder because yeah people do get busy um but truly just yeah this has been emotional this has been exhausting um i i you know sorry it's good change is better i'm a big hope person but it's just i i really hope that there's some changes made um because i would love I would love to stay in this position. But like I said before, it's been emotional. It's been a lot. And really want to make sure that my energy is put in somewhere where it's valued.

It's valued. It's seen. And it's equal. And so, yeah, I appreciate you taking time to talk. And also for our listeners, we can reach out to Beck and I if you have questions. if you need support, we can give you resources as well. Yeah. Well, thank you, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, but bigger thank you to you, Michelle. You know I love you. Thank you. I love you too, Bex. I'll talk to you later, girl. Okay. Bye. Bye. Thank you, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. And make sure

to hit us up on social. You can do so if you follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram. And then from there, you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on both Twitter and TikTok and Bachelor Happy Hour is available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen, and you can listen ad free by subscribing to Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondry app. Thanks, everyone, and chat with y'all next week. Cheers. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, we're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good

outcome avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denials easier complex problem solving takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness psychobabble yes yes then emergency intercom is the podcast for you open your free iHeart radio app search emergency intercom and listen now the super secret bestie club podcast season four is here and we're locked in that means more juicy cheeseman

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