Bachelor Happy Hour - Andi Dorfman on Finding 'The One'

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

On this week’s episode of “Bachelor Happy Hour,” it’s a celebration of all things Andi Dorfman!    Andi shares all the details from Blaine’s perfect beach proposal, where and when they are hoping to tie the knot, and what exactly it was about Blaine that let Andi know he was the one. Plus, she shares her best advice for anyone hoping to run a marathon one day and reveals whether she plans to write another book in the future!  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

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Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. open your free iHeartRadio app search emergency intercom and listen now what would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth unfortunately for mark lombardo this was the choice he faced he said you are a number a new york state number and we own you listen to shock incarceration on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back. Happy Hour listeners. It's good to be here with you all again this week. And of course, Michelle, I'm always excited to be back with you. Yes. Hi, Becca. It's great to be

back with you for some girl chat. I'm so excited today because we have the fabulous and newly engaged Andy Dorfman joining us today. Oh, I'm so excited to be. bring her back on it's been a while since we've had her on the podcast and she's absolutely incredible like you said she is newly engaged so we can pick her brain and you guys have something in common um I'm excited to see that ring oh my gosh from the photos it looks massive like her her full knuckle is her 100% yeah so he did well oh yes definitely and I'm I'm excited because the last time we actually have her on I mean it's been so long but she was singing She had just moved to L.A. around the same time I did. And so she was just getting her feet wet, getting the lay of the land here. And so it'll be, I mean, I feel like we have so much to catch up with her about. But it'll be fun to finally see her again and talk about this whole new chapter of her life. For those of you who don't know, Andy Dorfman is a former bachelorette. She's also a two-time New York bestselling author. And now she is going to be the future Mrs. Hart. She's absolutely incredible. So everyone, please have a warm welcome for Andy Dorfman.

welcome back to happy hour it's been so long since we've had you here so how are you i'm good i feel like it was like during covid years that i was on happy hour i think you would just move to l a day wow been like almost two years now then it's been so long and so much has changed we at that point we're both single and now oh my god oh my gosh andy we were supposed to do a double date for that charity. I know. I think it was like all COVID stuff and the guy was like, it's fine. I just were to like donate. I was like, oh gosh. So much has changed. Okay, wait. Anna, did you ever picture that you'd be sitting here engaged back on Bachelor happy? I sure hope so. I mean, like it's all going accordingly to plan. I feel like it actually happened later than I planned,

but it still happened, finally. And I mean, before we even get into anything with the engagement, I have to see that ring because it is massive. It is so beautiful. It takes up your full knuckle. Really? It's so big. That's, yeah.

I do love diamonds. I have no claim of that. Do you have to do extra weights on that arm now just to just to be able to like carry that shit around? Finger curls. You guys like get in the way of things. happily i'm like yep okay that'll work yeah oh it's just stuck on my shirt again no big deal oh i scratched you first world problems i'll get like little like wall on it i'm like oh well you know it's so beautiful oh it's so pretty well congratulations that's absolutely amazing i'm so excited for you

i want to get into it though because neither of us are single now i kind of love it for us i know i know and well you know we've talked about me getting engaged way too much here on this podcast but I will say, one last time, I'm hoping it happened soon. So when you, actually, when you got engaged, I think I was on tour and I was just blinded by your ring and I was like, oh, Thomas, look at this. My friend Andy just got engaged. Imagine that. I know, nothing more than that.

But you know, it's supposed they need it. Yeah, they need a little kick in the ass sometimes. So I want to get into it because you, I mean, I didn't ever know you were dating anyone until you guys became Insta official, which was back, what, about a year ago? Well, it was like, what did they say now? The soft launch? Yeah, soft and hard launches. I think it's November.

So actually, he was coming for Thanksgiving with my family, and I was like, okay, I should probably like announce this. Like, it was going well. I took my time. And I remember, like, calling my mom was like, okay, I'm going to post a picture of him. She's like, well, can I see it first? Lily, of course. Here.

She's like, I can't even see his face. I was like, yeah, I know. it's a soft launch mom and then I love that I think I first posted its face like maybe like New Year's and then by March we're engaged but we've been dating since like August so yeah I think people thought it was I mean it's still always like six months but I think people thought it when you know you know that for sure I really like believe that I mean look I've known and I've thought it's known and that didn't work out but I think but now you really not sure and honestly that amount of time is like a decade in the bachelor world so you're totally fine

i think it's also like age like the older you are and he's you know he just turned 36 i'm 35 like you just know yourself better you know what you want you've been in relationships to know like what works and what doesn't and you can kind of see those red flags and we're just no red flags and i remember like month by month i'm like all right when is when is the shoe going to draw It never did. And it was long enough time for me to know, like, okay, this is my person. Oh my gosh. I feel like we have so much to talk about, so much in common. We really do. But I really want to know how you guys met. Well, how did you meet like? We met in college at a party. Oh. He just playing baseball with one of my good friends that I grew up with. I remember it was like Fourth of July, Lakehouse party. It was probably like 18 or 19. And my friend brought like all of his teammates down.

I remember, like, eyeing Blaine. I was like, all right, he's really hot. Like, hook it up. And I never got the set up. I'm assuming that, like, in hindsight, Blaine probably had a girlfriend. I didn't even ask. But never got set up with him. And then literally, like, 15 years later, last summer, our mutual friend is getting married.

And Blaine, like, hit me up on DM, asking if I wanted to go to the wedding. I'm like, I have not talked to you in 15 years. I don't know who you are. No, not for hire. Not going to happen. happen. He's like, all right, well, I'm taking you out for a drink. I was like, I live in L.A. now. And so long story short, I was in Italy for the summer. He was there for a wedding. He DMs me. He still didn't even have my number and was like, hey, I want to take you

out for a drink. What are you doing this weekend? I was like, I'm in Italy. Obviously, I saw on your Instagram. I'm not stupid. I was like, well, I'm in Positano and he said, great, I'll be there tomorrow. Oh, my gosh. My girlfriend. And, like, she's, she's hanging out. He's like, I guess I'm taking you both out for drinks. And literally, like, he walked into our hotel, like, courtyard and I saw him I was like oh damn he's still hot this was like a movie it truly I'm so invested I'm so invested like the other thought he was hitting on my friend so like the end of the night I was like you know what you guys like go for a night cap I'm going to go to sleep they're like what are you talking about no you two are connecting he's like I was just trying to be nice to the friend

you know oh oh my gosh my it all came full circle so did where's he from originally he's from south carolina so he's from okay he lives in greenville which is just like 30 40 minutes away oh my gosh that's where one of my good friends lives damn okay did you ever ask him like did he purposely put himself there like did he have intentions of going to that wedding being like okay like i have my eye on this girl like have you ever asked no because i don't even think i was like in italy at that point like he was going to the wedding but definitely the positano aspect of it because the wedding was like in tuscany he was going to rome and he was just like why am i going to roam for a weekend by myself when i'm like go meet this girl and take a for a drink so right he drove three hours came to positano

damn i love this head up his own hot talks i was kind of worried i'm like i hope this guy doesn't think that like he's coming to crash with us but you know we like run into friends in europe all the time i feel like if someone's there you know especially at the new york connection people are always over there so we've been like hanging with friends like all summer basically so it wasn't weird that he was coming i was like great more than merrier but i was hoping that he had his own setup going on because i was like i'm not he's not about to coach crash at our nice place here yeah oh my gosh good for him i love a man who goes for what he wants you said no to the wedding but he's like fuck it i'm going to meet this girl in

year up yeah yeah i kept looking at home too like i was like i'm good buddy and then i mean he was in positano like okay it is so romantic there so i have to ask then after that trip did you kind of know did you both feel like you wanted to continue dating or what did it take a while for you to be like oh this could actually work out and be a thing yeah i remember like telling my friend the first day we met him i was like he's too reserved for me too shy for me and we ended up hanging out more, and he was great. We both left Italy, and we were back in the States and kept talking, kept FaceTiming. I remember, like, getting on the plane, and I was just like, I mean, I really liked that guy.

Probably never seen him again, but that was great, you know, had a great time. And then we ended up, like, meeting up, I think, a week or two later. And that's when I kind of knew. It was not just like the Italian romance summer fling. It was a theater in the States. And then it was funny because I was like, all right, I think I need to probably, like, tie up some. loose ends like some summer fun, you know?

Yeah. You're right back to you and you're both single and like oh no shame at all. Yeah, I got to type some loose ends. He's like, yeah, me too. I feel you. I feel you. At least you're both on the same page. I love that you guys can both be open though

and like nobody took it personally. I think that was our way of like asking each other if we wanted to be more friendly girl. Exclusive. I love this. I love this so much. Between the soft launch, like, knowing that he was the one. How much time you think?

Oh, no. I knew he was the one with the soft launch. Yeah. You are such a private person when it comes to your relationships that I feel like when you finally were going to post with somebody, I was like, he's going to be it. Like, I already know. Oh, like I see what's going on here. I got it.

Like a pretty good amount of guys since the show. I mean, it's been like seven or eight years. And I don't think I've ever posted any of them. but there was one on Instagram where you posted somebody's feet was that blames no he's gonna kill me for asking no no no I remember that and I literally thought I think it was like one of my friends and I'm like can you take a photo for me everyone freaked out I was like the internet went wild over that photo really it was on like a story or like a post I think it's on a post and you took it down right just I was gonna say catch me I know what I'm doing after this

podcast. It was so good, Andy, because I think you were in Mexico, I wanted to say. You were somewhere tropical and it was like, it was such a sexy photo of like you on vacation. It was your back and then his feet. And people were like trying to find out who this man was with just his toenails. And I was like, people are so invested in other people's relationships. It's wild. also why I feel like I kept it private was because I'm sure you guys get this too like people make comments about past relationships when they're trying to like guess who somebody is

and just like I feel awful for the guy like even when I post with Blaine like people will kind of make reference to oh it looks like so and so or his demeanor even people I haven't necessarily dated but people within the franchise and it just kind of like irks me I'm like really do you think that if you were a girl

and your boyfriend posted of you that you would want being compared to other girls. And I know not that way, but it just, it always happens. So I feel like I kind of was a little bit hesitant for that reason. Which I get. I, and I so respect that. That's so smart to

have that mindset to be like, I want to protect my partner who I'm with now. And because I don't know Blaine's background or what he does where he works, but I'm sure this world is probably new and a lot to take in. Yeah, he's like a bro. like he is not a reality TV watcher he likes sports he likes beer he likes golf like he

manly man in the sense of this is not his world and that i think another thing like we you know when we've dated people in bachelor nation they get it but i think that level protection is more so for the people that are not in this world yeah it's a lot to take it's a lot for us to take even after we've been in it and so yeah being somebody who never grew up watching it or of being infiltrated in it it's oh my god i i can't even imagine being in that position it would be so much um but i want to get into your engagement and the proposal did you have any idea that it was coming up yes okay did you help did you know what kind of ring you wanted or is that all you know we picked it out together um okay and he was like so excited he kept he would like show me photos of the

ring that he had to pick up right please don't show me any photos like i want to yeah You're like, I want to be surprised. He's so excited. And then he was coming for the L.A. Marathon and our family was coming in. And I think he literally told me he went to the safety deposit box. Like, I knew he had the room. Sometimes men just can't keep secrets. Right?

Or they feel like they are keeping a secret and they're really not. But you want to let them. Okay, so take us back to like the day or the night of the proposal. Like waking up in the morning, you're like, I'm getting. I didn't know, like, what day. I actually thought maybe it would be the Saturday before the marathon. But Friday, like, no one was to answer my calls, which my mom was like, oh, I'm brunching or playing golf or something.

I kind of believed it. And then we were going down to the beach. He made, like, dinner reservations. And we always go to the beach when it's nice for, like, sunset cocktails. Like, that's nothing new. I love it there. It's like my happy place. And Friday, we're driving down to the beach, and no one was answering my calls.

And I FaceTime my friend, Kelly, who was on the show with me, she's like my best friend. And her face was like, I'm like, why are you doing that? He's like, oh, what do you do? You're like, what's wrong with you? She's like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, my God. And Blaine was being weird. We got down to the beach and we're like sitting there.

He's like being so weird. He's like kind of dressed up. I'm in like sweatpants. And I see a photographer and I was like, oh, okay. This is it. This is the moment. She's like, let's walk down to the water. I'm like, okay, babe.

But the best thing, though, is. he was, by the way, we're not doing dinner. We're just going to go to the hotel Bel Air and hang out, have a great night. I was like, okay, let's drive home. I'll be really quick. I'll just grab some stuff. And I walked in the door, and it was like double locks.

I remember being like, that's weird. Maybe Blaine, like, locked both locks. And it was dark. And I think I said to Blaine, or at least I thought I was like, oh, thank God. Like, no one's here. And everything else to think. And it was like, what?

What is this happening? Like. And so my family. family had come in early. His parents came, which is their first day, which was awesome. And like some of my closest friends, my sister came with her husband and the kids. And that was like a huge surprise to me. And I posted a video. I was like very, very emotional for that. And I don't usually cry, but that was a big moment. Oh my gosh. And you were still in your sweatpants, right? Because you had the chance to change. Do you wish now he would have given you some sort of,

not an inkling, but would have been like, oh, like let's dress up. little bit? You know, I think he kind of tried to. And I'm just like, this is what I'm wearing. I mean, you're like jarred. They're like not sweat fans. But I'm kidding. Yeah. I got comfy right now. Wait, are these the ones? Yeah. It's probably Lou Levin. So it's nice. So symbolic. You did that on purpose. You know what? I'm glad that he just let me be comfortable. Like I didn't care. I liked the sweater. I liked the pants. It was very casual. But, like, like, Like, it's like not me to dress up like that for something kind of intimate in that. Right.

I want to ask you this because I feel like you and I are pretty similar. And, you know, speaking from experience, we went from the show. We had a very extra, probably the most extravagant way you could ever get engaged, right? It was in front of millions of people with this massive Neil Lane diamond. This, like, how did you feel with this proposal knowing that it was only for your eyes? the photographers and very intimate just between you two like what did that feel like on a much different level i mean obviously totally different only the second time i've gotten proposed to so there's not a ton of comparison but it was just what i wanted like as you can tell especially when

comes to relationships i'm pretty private i loved that the photographer was there just because i do love the photos that we had and it kind of encapsulates that moment but i'm 35 i've been engaged like you said in front of millions and millions of people it's not the way I wanted for it to happen a second time. So it was a special place for us. It was important for me to like do it in L.A. in my home for bi-coastal right now. But it was that was really important to me to just do it in a place that was like my spot.

I love that. And it was beautiful. Those photos were absolutely beautiful. And I mean, I just know you and how probably excited you were that you did find your man. But it was, oh, I was so happy when I said, I got chills all over my body. I was about to walk out on stage. And then you just get to go and celebrate, especially with your family. With like your friends and family and all of that too.

That had to be pretty cool that you're able to like. Yeah, I was just, I told my two things. Like, please don't propose like right after the marathon because I've done the marathon before and it's not going to be pretty. And I'm going to do it anytime soon. Like maybe do it while I'm still 34. I was like, if so, you know. I'm still so impressed with you and your running capabilities.

I don't know if I have any desire to run even a. 5k like no can can he keep up with you like six four an athlete like he is way faster i asked me to do the marathon he's like yeah it'd be great i'm like oh i wish i could just be like yeah let's sign up for this marathon no big deal you know guys they're like in good shape like they do stuff athletically i'm just like really like you didn't even have to train very hard for that like what you're running in sandals right now you're not even in tennis shoes this is bullshit it. I couldn't do it. I'm so impressed. All my gatorades and like any like waters I have like a splen shirt and a three-dill pack you all. I love that. I mean, it sounds like you are both so supportive of each other.

And so I'm glad that he can because that it's such a passion of yours. And I'm glad that he can be alongside you and bring you up and partake in it and not just be like, ah, you got this. Good luck. It's nice also like we trained together. It was a good way to spend time together. I mean, when you're running for hours training. it's just like the two of us it's a it's a nice kind of quiet time for both of us just like yeah so when you're so nice especially when you're like come off the show of you know everything's so luxurious and spontaneous and all these different things to be able to like see your person fit into your daily life and like spend time you know what does your time look like monday through friday you know it's i'm interested to know this so when you two

run together and spend that time do you have your air pot and you're both kind of listening to music and Zen out? Or are you both talkers and storytellers? How does this look? He is such a talker when we run. Like I feel like that's his time to just chat, chat away. Like he's not

he's chatty, but he's definitely a little more like reserved and quieter than I am. We start running. He does not stop talking. That's actually nice for you though. Do you like that though? Is it a distraction? Or are you just like quiet? I mean, it depends. No, usually it's a nice distraction for sure.

Sure. A good distraction. I'm just like, I just need to get through it. And then, like, we'll do hills and I'll be just, just kind of complaining. I'm like, tell me why you love me so I can run up this. Oh, does he, does he understand that when he's working out with you, though? Like, he does he understand that if he's talking to you that you don't necessarily have to answer back? Like, it's not like a full back. He like doesn't expect answers back. I just sort of. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Nodding. Yeah. Do you think you could have been with somebody who. wasn't into running or who wouldn't be willing to do that? I think it's, yes. I think it's not like a deal breaker. Like it's not, you know, my entire life. But I think it's nice, like you said back earlier, that somebody is supportive enough to be like, yeah, I'll do that because it's something that you want to do. And I mean, look, he likes

fitness. He's in good shape. So I'm not asking him to do anything like crazy. You know, it's kind of aligned with he likes being fit. So that was an easier sell for it. But I didn't even have to sell it actually like i think he just wanted to do it a as a challenged himself but be just to do it because i like doing it i think that's something that you like doing just because they want to make you happy so for somebody who okay i have a two-part question here so for you obviously love to run blaine has taken it up i'm sure more so because you love it and now you can spend this quality time together thomas is going to be running his first marathon so a A, what advice would you give to him when he's training for this first marathon?

Because it's been grueling and his body is in pain. And B, for me as a supportive partner, what could I be doing? Or, you know, like, what do you see that Blaine does that really help support you in the best ways? Okay, I actually have two good answers to you for this. One, you got to tell him he's got to do the recovery. Like, my old coach just say the recovery is in the games. You have to, like, do the Epsonsault. You have to do the phone.

You have to do, like, the guns. that breaks all of the acid and everything in your body. You have to do that, even though it's going to do. And then I think for you, my coach actually did this for me. When I was doing the really long runs, he would like strap a water belt and ride the bike. So I had them do it. So I feel like you could do that. Oh, shit.

I can totally do that. Or I'll get my like little motorized scooter and just scoot, scoot around. He's like, like, hand in the water on a run. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, my God. so glad we had you on you could definitely i could see you falling or following um thomas oh yeah for sure i mean i'll give him his water and i'll have a margarita as i'm you know riding my scooter my bike whatever can you get one of those hats that like has the two like cans for

the water the straws like on a bike honestly oh my god this would be content gold power couple do they let people when you're actually running the marathon is it only for you runners or can I be a supportive partner? I'd be like, I'm going to bike and feed him his water as we're on this path. Is that not allowed? You can run a couple miles with somebody. They call it like, I think it's called a bandit. Actually, funny story because Matt Jones got busted for that the first time for New York.

You can like do it for a few miles, but you're not. People have to like qualify and so you're not trying to like take the spot away. But you can definitely like help someone out like, on one side for a mile or two. Oh, so, oh, I could totally do that. So to start out, I could just, do I need one of those numbers? Or can I just? Well, you won't have the bid.

Okay, so I could just do a mile and then tap out and say, I'll see at the end. Along the course, jump in and just on a mile with him. I'll see what you finish life. Oh, I love this. Okay, I could do that. So does Becca have to keep up with him for the first mile still? That's the real question, because that will not happen. I'm just looking out for you.

It's no mile. mile 20 when he's slowing down and hurting then yeah okay well okay because you said blaine is what six four and Andy how tall are you like the fence is asking um five six so you're like my height basically so is it hard to keep up with him or does he slow himself down to stay at your pace oh he definitely slows himself down me twice as long as mine probably yeah yeah well that's what I'm worried about it. Yeah. So maybe I'll tap in at the very end with Thomas. Okay. Oh, wow. Once the blisters are there, the calves are cramping. Wait, what's this mad James story?

He just ran too far and got in trouble? No, no, no. He was, remember when Tyler and I did New York, Marathonus before COVID? Matt, like, jumped in and people were, like, giving him so much crap for it because it's, like, banned it running. Like, I think he ran, like, 10 miles at him, but he hadn't qualified. It's, like, not. Oh, no, I didn't get in. It's not fair, blah, blah. But if you do like... Dang.

Okay. So for anyone listening, I'm not crashing the marathon with Thomas one day. I am just doing a one bandit mile. You heard it here first, folks. He's, it's just, it's the one in San Diego. It's called the, oh, my God, I should know what the name of it is because he always posts about it. The San Diego something marathon. Look at how supportive I am.

I should know this. but it's it's his first one and so he he had been talking about wanting to do a marathon and I just thought you know in a year he still has to train because he doesn't really run he likes to lift and do yoga but he was never really an avid runner and one day he came home and he's like I listen to this badass podcast from David Goggins and now I just signed up for the marathon I was like are you sure like it's always a podcast or a documentary that gets you realize it's 26 miles funny like and you are not a runner but he's been training a little bit and he loves it and he is

super dedicated so i i know he'll be great i mean he is a much better mindset when it comes to that than i do but do you just hand like do you and you do just have a ton of like intense blisters by the end of it because everybody that i know like after the marathon like their bodies are in so much pain with like the blisters and like the cramping and the shin splints and like body yeah like Your body's not supposed to run 26 miles. I mean, it's a challenge. No. If you get the right shoes, like the right sizing, if you hydrate, like, you don't have to worry

about the cramps. Like, there are so many things to do in order to do that. Walking. Could walk a marathon. It would be just fine. Tell me about the carbine-up process, because I feel like that would be the fun part of of the marathon. Just eat pasta, cupcakes, everything.

Like, I ordered like double-dusy cookies from the mall in Georgia for a, for a lot. us like just eating on before and after so yum i think wow how many days before or like just the night before i just take the whole i mean and you're burning it all off anyways i don't remember what marathon it was i think it might have been the one in new york pre-covid i remember watching you eat your pasta i think it was the night or two before and i was like i am so jealous of this woman right now i was doing cupcakes and pasta like the whole week in new york i was hitting up like magnolia a bakery down the street you know used to this oh my gosh you are so dedicated though and i will say like watching you and your stories be so supportive of all of the fellow indoor fans it's so

incredible it like very it really is inspiring like i i should be better and and join i mean everyone has their thing like for me it was definitely like some mental kind of therapeutic thing for me um especially when i was in new york and kind of getting out of like my shoebox apartment I think everyone kind of has that one thing that they're kind of fixated on for whatever reason, whether it's like getting through a bad day or, you know, if it's a glass of wine or it's going for a run or yoga, a lot of people. So I think for me, it's just like, that's just my thing that I've found. And didn't you say, did you start it because you were traveling so much that it was just

a good way to get out and see wherever new places you were? Yeah, I mean, it was a good way to exercise. Like, first of all, you know, when you travel, like, especially coming right on the show, you're everywhere and you're like, I don't want to go. to the hotel gym or you know i don't want to i can't find a gym so for me it was just getting out running like different cities and it is true you see stuff so differently on foot like you know even when i run around my own neighborhood i notice houses or i notice you know trees or just things that are like you don't see while you're driving a car that you'd pay attention to yeah that's so

very true and i actually never really thought about that yeah except for then sometimes i've gone on runs and I don't notice because I'm like wheezing. I started not even having like on a full mind. When I first did the marathon, I trained that hard, but I was like a walk, run a little bit, walks. That's awesome. Oh, man. I'm probably going to have you up on speed dial before his marathon just so I can get, pick your brain more and get your advice because it's, it's going to be needed. I know.

I feel like I'm being inspired to run a marathon. I'm like thinking about it. And I'm not sure if it was, if it's Andy or if it's like the carb loading. cupcakes and and pasta i'm not sure which part is doing it for me but i don't know we should do like a voucher at 10k i feel like we could do that that would be fun actually how many of us are there now like eight oh what there's more than 18 right no 18 no 18 technically they'll be yeah soon with rachel and gabby do like our virtual marathon and we could do we actually like this a marathon each person does one mile one mile and then

and it taps on to the next person. And then to make up the last six miles, Andy can do a couple, you know, I'll try to do two or three. I'll take one for the team. But we could do it for a charity to raise money. Wait. Let's do that.

I actually really like that idea. It's kind of like, Andy, do you remember when we did a couple of years ago? It was during COVID. We did the like Pass the Rose Challenge. It could be like that except running a mile. You could do wherever you want. Like something.

Yeah. I love that. That would actually be fun, too, to show the different cities that everyone's in across the country. Wait, will you guys really do it? I'm so down. No, I 100% would do it. And I'm already like thinking about like the video footage to just like showing like running and like how. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah, all the different scenery, all the different areas. Yeah. Okay, let's actually talk about this and put a plan in place because I would be so down, especially if it's going for a good cause. I mean, sign me up all the time. I would love that. I mean, let's just make it an annual thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so speaking of bad charades, I mean, obviously we all have that in common. Going back, I mean, sometimes I hate to do this. So I hate to ask me this, but like going back to your time on the show, you know, it worked out for some of us. It worked out. It didn't work out for some of us. So I totally understand probably your mindset. But do you have any favorite memories that stand out when you were bachelorette? Oh, I mean, the travel, like we went to incredible places, both bachelor and bachelor. at my seasons that was like I feel like that was kind of the height of the traveling um the travel was amazing I had a great experience like even though it didn't work out you know picked the wrong guy clearly or the wrong relationship at least um I thought it was great like I had a blast

I thought it was life changing for me I feel like we can all probably attest to that where it's like it just it changed my life I put it in a totally different trajectory and yeah there was some stuff that we had to deal with um you know whether it's just people people talking or, you know, the emotional effects of like being away from all of your friends and family and doing this kind of alone. But all sit and done, like, I just, I thought it was incredible. It changed my life. It's like a huge defining point in my life. And yeah, I have like zero regrets on it. I think the traveling was great. Falling in love, honestly. Like, again, even though it didn't work out, I fell in love. Like, that's always fun. Yeah. I would hope that

everyone coming from the show has that mindset like even if it didn't work out you still make so many friends you know when you're living with the contestants and you have some of the most incredible memories and that's what all always take with me and so I'm glad that you still look back fondly and I like that you say you would have no regrets regardless of how things ended in the long run or not that's that's going to go through a breakup you might as well have done it while traveling the world and meeting people and you know being whined and dined you make you a very good point go bigger go home do you have like a favorite dress or outfit that you just like absolutely loved like when you think about your fashion sense and

everything back to when you were the bachelorette what what is that outfit or that dress there were a few really great ones I remember there was one that I loved it's kind of a funny story because kerry fetman obviously the stylist um pulled this dress and he was like look you cannot spill on this dress. I'm like, I never saw. He looks at me like, yes, you cannot get this dress. He knows. I was like, okay, fine. He's like, I'm serious handy. He's like, Selena Gomez, it's shipping to her. She has to wear it next. You can't spill on it. And then, of course, like us weekly did it like, who wore it better? Same dress. And it was one of my favorites. And of course, she wore it way better. But it was, that was fun for me. It was like

to wear something and then see, you know, an app. What was the dress? It was like a black, deep plunge and it had a bunch of like diamond encrusted almost like dots but it was like spread out diamonds oh was it a randy rum do you know don't think so one of the few that wasn't okay oh my gosh I want to go back and look through old photos to see what one of this was I want to scroll through it that is crazy oh Selena Gomez I was going to do you think after going through that entire process both as a contestant and then as the lead on the show that it ultimately changed your approach to dating or how you would want to find a partner or find love?

Yes and no. I mean, I think it's kind of hard when you're dating so many people at one time to like really like figure out some kind of like life changing things to take away from each of those relationships. You know what I mean? Like, okay, the guy that, you know, was made it till the fifth round or whatever, there's not like there was that deep of a relationship. to take that much away, I think I did learn, like, everybody is kind of a person and has a life and they're spending time and kind of respecting that time. And I remember on The Bachelor, a lot of us didn't really feel that, like, our time was kind of being valued and that we weren't being looked at as, like, actual human beings that had given up their jobs and, you know,

family and friends to come here. So I think it did make me kind of like humanized guys, even though it was like speed dating i was like okay each one of these guys has an actual life too and there's something to each of them even if it's on romance it's like there's still a human being on this earth that you can converse with and like you know be kind to and show attention to yeah are you still close with any of the guys on your season do you still stay in touch with them um crystal's yeah always um chris harrison i guess he was on my season always um i see like nick vial in l a day every once in a while and we're cool oh my god i keep forgetting he was on your season i know it's so funny you're actually at a dinner last night and christina shulman was there and i was like we want chris's season or ben she's

like i was like i was on nix i was like that's so crazy wait that was like the first time he stepped into this world was on your season right yeah he is my neighbor he lives i am looking at my window and i can probably see his house if i go to the other end of my window okay wait so with okay having andy you gone going through this whole bachelor world and and everything like that. And then bringing somebody into it even like as you're just starting to date,

who were like some of the first people that you introduced into? Well, obviously my friend Kelly, she had like to FaceTime with him and everything. He came, Blame came to L.A. and we went to a Lou Bryan concert and actually Christina Schulman came with us. And I like, I randomly kind of see her

and like we'll hang out for like concerts and stuff. But she was like the first. person, I feel like in Bachelor Nation that met him. And then Super Bowl happened and you guys were there. Like, then it was like the floodgates opened. And he met pretty much everybody from Bachelor Nation that lived in L.A. or was at the Super Bowl. Oh, that had to be. How did he handle all of that? Was it too much to take in at first or was he? Is he? I mean, it seems like he's pretty go with the flow. But how did he take that all in? Honestly, I think it was like more like exciting for him to like tell his friends like who he saw and like how cool is this like he doesn't really

care about not that he doesn't care about bachelor nation he does i don't want to trolling him yeah but he's not in it he doesn't he's not like phased by things he like um the guys from selling sunset he was like oh i've seen that show you know oh okay i love that has he did he ever go back and watch any of your season or does he have no interest in that? I don't think he has any interest and I don't have any interest in him watching. That would be so weird. That would be so weird. Yeah. Like imagine if you started watching like your current guy is like past, you know. Oh yeah. No. No. Don't get me wrong. But if I have the option for him not to watch it, I'm good with that. Listen, I, I had to watch Thomas on like three episodes of Paradise before I got

down there and that was enough. I would never want to go back and watch a full season of whoever I'm dating on TV. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not because Okay. So are you're and you're close with Amanda Stan, right? Yeah. Oh, Amanda San too. Okay. For sure. Yeah. Because and she

I mean, obviously you got engaged more recently but she also just got engaged. So have you guys been able to kind of talk about any wedding plans or bounce ideas off of each other? It's funny because her fiancee is actually someone that she sent me up on a blind date with in New York. Really? Shut up. Wait, you, okay, so you went on this blind date.

So lovely, like, he was so nice. We didn't have the chemistry. It was just, like, a friend thing. But he was awesome. And then, like, literally, three years, actually, because this had to have been way before COVID. Like, probably three years, four years later, Amanda's like, you never going to guess who I'm dating?

And I was like, Michael Hogle. How did you know? I said, I just had a feeling. Like, I had a feeling you always kind of like, Tim, you always trying to set him up with somebody. And it's funny because I went to brunch with her. Blaine and I were down in Newport and I'm sitting there talking and we like

order the food and we sit down and I hadn't seen her since she got engaged. I was just talking and she's like, what is on your hand? And I hadn't announced it yet and I was like Surprise. Andy, there's no missing that ring. I don't know I don't know how you expected to get away with that.

I'm just like standing there like this. Yeah, no, there's no getting around that baby. if it was smaller maybe but yours uh-uh maybe but it's like you know like blind people reflecting off of everything oh you waited that long i think it was like one or two weeks because we got engaged before the marathon and i just wanted to like deal with the marathon and to be honest it's funny that people say this that they just wanted time to kind of enjoy it i didn't enjoy the attention and like everyone being sweet it was just once that like got announced

everybody was texting and called congratulations and blaine and i both were like just on the phone to like our friends and family so it gave us like a week or two to just enjoy it and yeah family knew but i guess the world did it and that was a whole another level of a lot to take in especially if you're trying to train and focus on the marathon i i totally understand why you would have wanted to hold off on the big news because it's a lot i just like didn't know what people were going to say I didn't know if he were like, oh, finally or like, I had been out of kind of that like happy celebration, romance type of announcement for so long. But it ended up being really good. I was like very, very overwhelmed, like even emotional about how sweet everybody was and just like

how happy everybody was for me. I wasn't expecting that. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like you have so much support behind you, behind you both, which is very, very special. And if anyone had any hate to say there's the age old adage, fuck them. You know, who cares? Goodbye. Do you get, have you guys talked about if you're going to do like a longer engagement? If you're like, are you like, let's jump in? Let's do this wedding.

We definitely want to get married in Italy. Like, obviously very special to us. I love it. We like, Kindle are really basically met there. I was trying to maybe do October, but I don't think that's going to happen. Like this October. that's coming up yes let's go Andy you know what she waits no time I don't know and don't quote me on this I don't know if it's fully true but I was just talking to some of our friends on in San Diego who just actually got engaged I think in February or March too and they are planning a wedding in April in Italy next year but they said that everything there it's so much more affordable it's easier to plan weddings like outside of the states and I was because I was actually shocked I was like I thought it would have

been the opposite of how much how expensive everything was and to rent up the venues just how crazy spendy it would be but they looked at several different venues and they could get them in right away there was really no hold up of like when they could rent out the space and like how much it would be so honestly I feel like I mean if that's true which I don't know if it fully is but if it is you you could do it you can pull it up a bunch of venues thinking like there's no way October October is kind of the last month of the year in Italy to get married. The weather starts getting cold, obviously. There's no way with all the backup from COVID in 2020 that got pushed to 2021.

And sure enough, there were some things. And I kind of like, now I regret saying that. It's like, all right, let's do it then. But I think we'll probably wait till the spring. I just, part of me is like wants to actually enjoy it, you know. I know that sounds crazy because everyone just goes wild and it's stressful. but I'm going to be sad like when it's over a little bit. Yeah.

I know. And I think if we had gotten engaged, like let's say, you know, January, 10 months is a lot different than we're just now starting to plan. It's five months. It's a lot. I mean, I can't, I've never planned a wedding. So I can't speak from experience, but just seeing friends and family do it. It's a lot to think about. So whenever you are ready to plan and do it, you will.

It will all work out and happen as it should. so and we're here to support you a long way Andy I feel bad and I like haven't even started planning anything but do you have a vision of what you would want like what you would want your dress to look like what you would want food or cake or anything like that I the good thing about Italy is it is a lot easier like I literally just want everybody to be taken care of I want everyone to be fed well good wine good pasta I mean with a dress I started looking it's so funny my mom like sent me an entire were a document of 45, 50 dresses. I'm like, when did you say?

When Blaine asked for my blessing, I was like, oh, my God, you're like, but there's so many dress options. Like, I, I've already overwhelmed with it. I feel like I'm just not there or just like making it. Okay. Yeah. That's how, I feel like that's how I am too. So you're not one of those people who just, you know, like plans out there wedding on

Pinterest when they were 15. I'm like have it all for you no I'm not like Beck are you no I have no visions for any wedding besides I want a lot of like burritos there and a champagne tower and that's it I think we've talked about every burrito like a burrito on every episode since I've started we truly have and again I will never look at it the same after you and Nate um so Andy I want to know this because because you are a New York Times bestseller and I love your books. I had such a blast reading them because I could kind of go back and like put myself in your shoes or like in that mindset and

you know, we all kind of know more secrets behind the scenes. So we kind of know how things work. But do you have any plans to do another one? Yeah, I'm going to do a third. I think I'd already started. It was kind of during COVID that I had started writing. Great time to start writing. Honestly, I was kind of waiting for an ending. I didn't know it was going to be this, but I think this is probably a good ending and probably segue into some other kind of writing. I want to do like, I want to do some fiction. I want to do something kind of wild. So it'll be the last kind of single no more.

Yeah. Okay. I need to check these out because I think I do believe you reached out to me on Instagram. I'm like the worst at getting back to people while I'm teaching this year. So I keep telling everybody don't take it personal. But that might have to be like one of my first reads this summer. please send in my way. Becky, you said you read both of them?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's it. I'm, yes, I'm going to move it to the top of the list. Okay. Send me both copies. Like, there's a tidbits from the show. You guys will pick up on even. Were you super stressed out from just you go through this experience, right? And then that whole experience is just like showcased an entire world for like their opinions and all those different things. Do you feel like it was less stressful? then to go and write a book because you're still sharing your experiences. You're still sharing

your thoughts, right? You're still putting that story out there for opinions. Did you feel like really that like same type of anxiety because your life is still, you know what I mean? Being put on a platform Yeah, actually. I remember feeling a lot of anxiety about it because, you know, sure, it's your story. So there is kind of this feeling of like, this is me. At least people can hear it directly from me but people still will like pick things apart like I remember I think something about like someone's apartment and it was like actually in a joking way and people will still be like oh she's like a gold digger someone's a part of it was too small like you know you say things in jest and they will take just one sentence out of that entire and it's your words so you kind of have to

eat them and just own it but I think it does I think it's just a good outlet you're just like you know what this is all of me you're going to judge me anyways at least judge it kind of from my own words right yeah and it's kind of nice because you can take however long you need to to make sure that your full story is like yeah yeah told i'm sure it's like it's like your baby like like that i feel like writing your own book like that would be more i think intimate and intense when it's finally released and it was like when your show airs because you don't know what's going to happen when the season's airing you don't know what's going to be edited and like picked to be shown to the world so i feel like when you're actually hand

deep in control of that that would be I think much more of a scary thing yeah it's like a blessing and curse because you get to have that outlet and say it all but then you're like oh gosh now I have nothing to hide behind you need oh that wasn't love me or hate me take what you want but it's hard like for all of us that everyone especially like in social media and stuff like that that vulnerability can be really really hard mm-hmm yeah So, okay, aside from your future book and this engagement in upcoming wedding plans, what's next for you? Anything else you want to share?

Well, we're moving to South Carolina. You are. You're leaving up me in L.A. Wow. She was just going to slide that in their casualty. We're in South Carolina. I know. Nice.

And we're building a house there, which is going to be great. Like, it's exactly what we want. I'll still be in L.A. a lot. But, you know, it's a big, it's a big move. I'm a little. Where in South Carolina will you guys be building? Are you able to say? Greenville, okay.

In Greenville. Great town, but, you know, I know Blaine and, like, his friends there. So it's kind of that starting over. Yeah, it'll be bittersweet. I'm, like, happy to do it with him and, you know, for him. Like, his career is really based there. But I'll miss it here. I'll come out here a lot, though.

So when. will you actually move? This summer. Okay. Well, before you leave, we have to get together. We will do another girl's night for sure. Michelle, you're coming out. That's exciting. I had one more question. Oh, before we get into our game, this last question that I want to ask. So first, do you still keep up with watching the shows? Or are you kind of, have you removed yourself and you're not that involved anymore? I'm just not that involved anymore. I feel like you could probably attested this too it kind of goes in like different ways like I don't know anyone on it I don't know anyone that knows anybody on it I don't even know any of the producers really anymore um so it just seems

like it's kind of a different just a different time for me a shift yeah yeah and especially when you go through it specifically yourself you know you go through all those experiences and if you have less connections with the people who are then going through it you know what I mean and you could watch it if you want to. I find myself like yelling at the TV or just like knowing kind of like, oh, this is the music. This is the, you know, that's not the limo. You know so much, right? Yeah.

It's so different once you know. Okay. I know you don't watch it, but I'm sure you've heard the news that we have dual bachelets this season with Rachel and Gabby. So do you have any advice? I mean, I think they're still filming if I'm, if my math adds up. But they will be coming back very, very soon. So do you have any advice for them as they prepare for their season to finally be aired?

Oh, tell your partner and your family everything before it airs. Before it comes on. Yes. Yeah, that's a good one. I would say, I mean, as much as you can, you've got to, like, kind of stay off the internet. Definitely stay off the forums. I remember when I did it, the forums were the worst. like people were so so critical um and it dampered a little bit of like that post show

kind of glory cone that I was in um so I would say just just as best as you can like stay away from hate just know people are going to come out at you whether it's so jealous or because they just don't like you whatever that's their problem not yours so just trying to enjoy it trying to see all the fun things that you're getting to do you're going to be exhausted but it's worth it it's fun like you'll look back in five 10 years like I am and just think that was a really cool thing. It's all of advice. That's good advice. That's what we were trying to tell Clayton the most recent voucher was don't read all the comments like stay away off of Reddit. That's the first one by the way. People love to hate and that's the thing. It's like it's not a yeah I don't I don't I mean I saw

like for the engagement they're like oh nightmare proposal nightmare engagement ring and I was like people say this about other people that was about me i was like okay things like yeah i don't know why i don't know if it like makes them feel better for five and a half seconds it's it's bizarre but but that is solid advice i can't wait to hear how how they are coming from the season but i will make sure if they don't listen to this to share that with them because you know how many guys are like fight over them like how many guys are going to go for the same girl oh it'll be so i can't wait to add them to the group chat i always love the moment when we can add the newbie to the group chat I think it's probably so freaking overwhelming.

And I'm not the newbie anymore. I'm no longer than Ricky. I hit like overwhelming the chat. Were you just like, oh my gosh? I honestly think I felt more like I felt bad that I wasn't able to like respond more and interact more because I was still working full time as a teacher when all that was unfolding. And so I think that that was the hardest part is I didn't. even i was just overwhelmed in life as general in general so i just yeah but it was really nice to know that all of these women have been through a similar situation because there's a lot of different

areas where you can feel like very alone when all this is taking place you know just when your life starts to change as it does it's hard because it's you know not a lot of people experience that we have but it's a it was helpful yeah for sure um okay shall we move into work Yes, Michelle, do you want to explain it, Michelle? Yes, okay, so we play a game all the time. Beck and I love, love, love games. And so we are going to play a game called This or That, and it's going to be a wedding planning edition.

So I hope you're ready. We're going to give you two options related to planning a wedding, and you'll respond with your preference. So it's like a rapid fire. Ready for the first one? Band or DJ? I love that. I feel like Andy, you and I, we're both Aries.

We were born on the same day. We're very similar. So I'm excited to see what you have to say for these other ones. Okay. Big party or intimate gathering. Intimate gathering. Okay. You kind of answered this one already.

Destination wedding or stay local. Destination and then I want to do something with our family local. Yeah. Oh, I like that. Write your own vows or go with the classics. I write my own vows. First look before the ceremony or at the eye. at the aisle that's like blamed number one wish it's like really okay he wants to stand there and like

probably cry and watch yeah it's such a special moment it's like there's very few times in life where you can have that like take your breath away a moment and i think that's one of us and nephew walked down after me and his nephews because i want to see them oh yeah that would be very cute and then they'll probably run to you guys and have it be extra special okay do you want just one dress or multiple looks throughout the night. I would do as many as I could. Like, I changed my life at the day anyways. I would literally do as many as I could.

Yeah. She changes every hour. Yes. Sit down dinner or a big buffet? Sit down dinner. Family style. Well, okay. I feel like you also just answered this too, but kids at the wedding or leave all of them at

home? Leave them all at home except our nieces and nephews. okay kick them out of the um yeah the after party yeah at a certain time only for adult eyes um right honeymoon right after the wedding or leave some time in between um either maybe that depends on the year season i don't know and he's like both i want both give me two honeymoos i'm on the travel i was like yeah i'll go on a honeymoon tomorrow without i'm getting here well and if you're in Italy. It's like you can still stay there for a bit and enjoy just the two of you afterwards and then do somewhere else another time. After then actually. Like not right after maybe a few months after because

then you kind of get to like double dead. Yeah. And then have something different to look forward to once the wedding planning dies down and you'll miss that, but you'll still have this vacation to look forward to. I feel like you and I are so similar. It's crazy. Okay. Matching bridesmaid's dresses or different color. Oh wait. What is? Okay. Matching bridesmaid stresses or matching color, different dresses. No bridesmaids. I'm welcome. I was like, you girls are welcome. Everyone that's going to come would have been my bridesmaid anyways. Like, that's

how close I would call in. So I don't think so. I mean, just like my sister, his brother, and then, I mean, all of our friends, like, why I have to pick between everybody, everyone will do. But my friends, some of them are joking around that they're going to show up in matching dresses anyways. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. That was our last question for the game, but

whatever you decide whenever you decide it is going to be beautiful it's going to be stunning and i'm just so happy for you i can't wait to meet blaine i really do want to meet him he sounds like an incredible man andy one more thing before we let you go every week we share our rose and our thorn which is basically our best moment of the week and our least favorite or messiest so i'll start off to make it easy and i'm going to start with my thorn and honestly i don't even know if i have the thorn this week um i'm going to just say i've been traveling out this past week so it's just been i've been very exhausted but it's a good problem to have and my rose is going to be the fact that i was able to see and surprise my mom and sister for mother's day and it was very fun and very

fun to see my niece we were in the midst of potty training which that probably should have been my thorn for the messiest moment because it's definitely the potty training What about you, Michelle? I would say that my rose would have to be that I was able to just spend a ton of time this past weekend with friends and family outside because the weather is turning over. And so it's like that lovely feeling of being able to open up your windows and air out your house and like springs here and the snow is done. Fingers crossed, hopefully. Um, my thorn would have to be that I over slept my alarms several times this week, which usually never happens. Um, but it's like, it's kind of a chaotic way to start the week, you know?

It's almost summer break. Don't worry. It's almost there. It's almost there. Andy, what about you? What is your rose and thorn at a week? I would say, I mean, my rose, bittersweet, but coming back to L.A., I was gone for like a week on the east. So it's just nice to, like, be home.

I miss Blaine. He's not here right now, but we'll be together soon. But it's nice being home. That's definitely my road. It's just a little baby cave. My thorn actually happened this morning when I lost my Zara receipt. Oh, for some returns. No, no returns accepted without a receipt.

I do love Zara, but it is difficult to return some stuff. It is. It really is. Andy, I am so happy we had you on. It's been way too long. I absolutely love you. So thank you for joining us on Happy Hour. Before you go, where can all of our listeners find you on social?

Well, you probably won't find me very often. But when I'm there, Instagram at Andy Dorman. At? Yes. This is why I like her. Another private gal. You do have to meet in person. I will plan a girl's night.

Michelle, when you're out here next, I will get some of the books because it would be so much fun. Yes, we'll definitely have to link up again. And until then, send me, send me those copies. because I actually want to get into that. Thank you guys for having me. Thanks, Andy. We'll see you soon. Tell me when we say hi.

Take care. Bye. She's an absolute gem. When we all get together, you will hit it off and love her. She's so sweet. She just seems so down to earth, so normal. And just, I don't know. I love her vibes.

And one thing about her, too, that, I mean, when you're in person, you'll definitely pick up on. But she is also just so confident in who she is as a woman, as a person, what she stands for. And I think that that's something, it's a great aspect that anyone can have in life. But it's really empowering. So when like I've only been out with her a handful of times, but she builds people up. She builds women up. She just knows who she is and she owns it.

And that's one thing that I love most about her. But I'm so glad we had her on. It was good to just catch up and hear more about her, her new relationship. and this next chapter in her life, I can't wait to see them with their wedding plans. I love the fact. Emma Ring. I mean, I was blinded.

Every time she would lift up her left hand, I was like, oh, wow, can we get a still shot of this? She's so pretty. It is. I love that she's like, oh, no one was going to notice it when I went out with Amanda. And I was like, there's no hiding that. Honestly, you should have left it at home if you didn't want people to say anything because it's a big old rock.

spot that thing from miles. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like the Great Wall of China that people can see from space. That is her ring. But Andy, thank you for joining us. And thank you, Michelle, for being here again. I have, I've had such a blast in this podcast with you. I'm so happy that you started this with me. And I can't wait to each week. It just gets better and better. And I just, I love doing it with you. So thank you, Michelle. It really has been awesome. And I'm, I'm so. excited to just for the day where we get to take this in person whether it's you know in person in in person in the road wherever it's at um yeah this is just the start watch out oh michel thank you and a huge thank you to all of our bachelor happy hour listeners it was so fun chatting with you again this week yes and make sure to hit us up on social you can follow us at bachelor happy hour on instagram and from there you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on Twitter and TikTok. And Badster Happy Hour is available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen,

and you can always listen to us ad free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondry app. Thank you, listeners, and we will see you next week. Bye. Bye. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome.

Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you.

Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.