Bachelor Happy Hour - Ashley & Jared on Love, Marriage, and What Comes Next

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

Bachelor Nation’s Ashley I. and Jared take a walk down memory lane with Becca and Rachel. Ashley recalls how she felt love at first sight when meeting Jared in “Paradise.” They also reveal the best and worst parts of wedding planning, and how newlywed life is treating them.Plus, Ashley and Jared discuss what their future holds.Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Rachel. And Becca here. Now, listen, before we get started with the podcast today, we just want to jump in and share

a few things with our Bachelor Happy Hour audience. Now, listen, first off, we know that this is just a really incredibly scary time, and we know that there's so much uncertainty. And we just hope that everyone is doing okay, everyone's doing all right, that you're staying at home. You are practicing social distancing. It's what's cool. It's what's on trend.

It's all about you taking care of yourself, but then also taking care of other people by doing this. And we just hope you're safe and you're healthy right now. Yeah, Rach. And, you know, in this day and age, it's hard for us to social distance. We as human beings like to be out in the public, which is why we want to share our podcast with you today. Now, it's one that we actually recorded a couple weeks to go together. So we don't want anyone to think that we're still hanging out in groups and dismissing what's actually going on in the world right now. We are taking everything very, very seriously. But of course, we still wanted to share some normalcy and our conversation with you guys, which is why we still want to put out this podcast, even though it was

recorded a while ago. Yes. And we wish we could hang out with each other, but we're doing it virtually because Becca and I are also practicing social distancing. But we just wanted to make sure that we share this episode with you because, as Becca said, we want to give you some normalcy. And we want to do this with the hopes of giving you just a little bit of a distraction, even if it's for an hour from all the things that are going on in the world. And our hope is you continue to enjoy the podcast every week, and you just use it as a small break or even an escape, and then you get right back to doing your part and helping to make a difference. Yes, Rachel, thank you for all of that. Now, Bachelor, happy hour listeners, without further ado,

here is our conversation that we had with Ashley, I, and Jared. Good morning, Bachelor Nation, or good afternoon, depending on where you are listening. Welcome back to another wonderful happy hour podcast with both me and Rachel. Now, we're so excited for today because we have some very special guests in the house that we will get around 219 very soon and we can't wait to catch up on all the latest gossip in the bachelor world yeah becca why wait let's just tell them who we have in here i love to play a guessing game and then i feel like i we just end up giving it away yeah we're not good at that i'll give you a drum roll though okay give them a jump what would have been your clues okay well now i know now i'm spoken now we're going to say you

should definitely play the guessing game let's give them a quote it's too late i wish we had a voice These are two familiar voices. They do podcasts. They're married now. They're a bachelor's success couple. You know who we're talking about. You love them. You know them.

It's Ashley and Jared. Okay. And they're holding hands. They're holding hands as we announced them. That is cute. The honeymoon phase is not over. Okay, let's just, let me just start right with that. Do you get tired of people saying,

Oh, are you still in the honeymoon phase? Oh, my God. It's so frustrating. you answer. The question that we've gotten the most over the past seven months is people being like, so how do you feel that you're married? Like what changes? Like what change? And we're like, nothing changed. You're like my last name and that's it. But that's the real answer. Yeah. It shouldn't change. You know, like it should change. It's not like something snaps and you're like. Oh, I'm more committed now. Yeah. No more in love. I feel like it's silly things like

his last name or him wearing a ring. Do you not stare at the ring all the time? Oh, I love. I'll never get over that. That's always so fun. He's so much hotter with the ring on. Right. I'm creepy. Like Brian is sleeping and I like kiss his ring. This is the sign of your commitment to me. I don't even know if he knows that I do that. Now everybody does. Ryan's like and I married a sucker. No, but but yes, your second question. The honeymoon phase. Is it over? I mean like yeah, I guess so. I say I go we moved halfway across the country. It was over then. It was over before the marriage started because it's just I agree. To be honest. We, we, our honeymoon, we were very much in a honeymoon phase on our honeymoon, like, that month and everything. But, like, the real honeymoon phase is when we started dating. And, like, when you get to the marriage point, like, psycho, like, if you've been together for, like, over a year and half, like, psychologically that, like, I need to be touching you all the time thing is, like, over. But not for me, because I, my love language is touch.

And, like, I beg for it all the time. I feel like people shouldn't be asking us if the honeymoon phase is over. they should be asking all our friends and family because I felt like I was in the honeymoon phase whenever I'd see people and they'd get excited to see us because they're like, you guys just got married. Oh my God, your husband and wife now

and now it's just like, hey, what's up, Jared? You know, it changes. They're in the honeymoon phase for us, which is very sweet. But that has long since gone away. Wait. When was your honeymoon? Because I feel like we had a one week after us. So we went to Italy and then Greece

and you went to Greece and you got We stayed in Greece, yeah. Wait, you got married. We got married only 22 months, two weeks after us. Two weeks. I was like, we got married on. On. So I'm pretty sure the day that we left Greece was the day that you went to Greece.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Do you guys go to the same towns? Did you go to Santorini? Santerini, which is magical. I want to go so bad. For you, suggested for your honeymoon. I mean, we literally were like, should we just never come back?

I was like, we would be bored out of our minds and it's such a hard language to even try to. Oh, my God. when you see like Greek in like the actual written form you're like how this is so much different than like seeing yeah I wouldn't even know where to begin it's like R a circle square hectagon it's like how do how does I'm else make this syllable yeah it's like a foreign language it's so foreign it's not like one of the romantic languages where we like have a certain grasp as to what I'm saying yeah because we all took Spanish well yeah like French Spanish they're all very yeah similar the romance language is that they're all very similar the romance languages I want to go back to the rings really quick Because diamonds are a girl's best friend We obviously talked about yours Jared But how did you know the type of ring that Ashley wanted? I've always had a good sense

I felt like I talked to her Sister about it I talked to her friends about it Did you guys try him on before so you knew what you liked? No, I don't know I just like my sister had She knew exactly what I wanted And I think Jared always knew that if the time were to come

Yeah I knew that she wanted you know, a particular type. But you guys were the only ones... Well, did anyone else get engaged that year, that season? On the show. You were like your own special, special moment, though. Jordan got engaged. Oh, yeah.

No, Jordan Jenna got engaged? She's pregnant. She's a boyfriend. Yeah, for the past year, she's had a boyfriend. Talk about... Somebody else got engaged in that season, guys. No. Chris and Crystal.

There's... Chris and Crystal, yeah. Look, both of you and I go, no. No. They had a wedding But you guys had your own special moment before all of the other engagements Yes

Yeah Did you have any idea that that was going to happen? Because I'll be honest, like watching it I was like oh this whole thing is set up at stage But I really want to say no Because you wore heels in the sand So that makes me think that you actually had no idea You would never do that

I was 50-50 on what it was going to happen And I kept getting like pulled on to like One side of 50 The other side of 50 like initially Jade had like probably told me too much She was like I'm not going to tell you anything Because if I tell you it's gonna give everything away I was like well you just gave it away with Jared shaking his head

And Jared was a little bit disappointed in that So when I found when I decided that I was going to go down And propose to Ashley the first person I called was Tanner Jade Because obviously I wanted somebody who had experience in it And I told them don't say anything And I was specifically talking to Jade Because I knew Tanner was able to keep his mouth shut And so finding this out after

Of course, it's very ironic, but also quite adorable. But the night before we got engaged, Tanner and Jade and Evan and Carly were there, too. They threw me off completely. And so we got dinner and Tanner and Jade, they were great. They were like, apparently I went to the bathroom and then she was talking to them and they were like, it's not happening. It's not like, don't get your hopes up. It is not happening. No glimmer in their eyes or anything.

No glimmer. I also knew that he was, of course, going to ask my dad for permission. And I was like, well, he didn't take a trip to Virginia, which I know would be obvious. But, like, I can't even think of, like, did they FaceTime him? Did he call him? And if he did, there's no way that my mom is going to be able to keep that in. Or my sister. My sister are a little bit better than my mom.

They all did. Then I FaceTime my parents, like, the week before going down to Paradise was like, did Jared call you and ask for, like, permission? And they were like, you are so whacked out. Like, they really convinced me that I was crazy. And then, yeah, that was it. I mean, I did get my nails done. And I told the lady, I was like, this might be my engagement.

manicure. So like make sure this is the best you've ever done. So were you guys living together prior to the engagement or did you move in after? Well, so he was staying over most nights. Yeah. But he was living with Nick. I was living with Nick at the time. And the living situation was definitely. They said Ashley is a lot. Um, no, I'm kidding. Come on. We all love Nick here. Come on now. Um, but definitely the, the, there was the living situation was a thing because I was like, I don't want to live together unless we are engaged. But I knew that that would be like within like the six month horizon, even if it wasn't, like, June. And then he was like, so should I get, like, a short-term lease or something?

And then he just proposed before it was even an issue. And then he moved in, like, officially in July. Yeah, she told me that I couldn't move in unless we were engaged. And I was like, well, shit, I need a place. So I guess I'll propose. Like, you were all right. You were planning it months ahead of time. I was.

And it was cool. It was a very surreal moment going down there. So what happened was, you know, you guys don't know, but I'm sure from the show, you you walk down the stairs. So they did a very sly move. And then Geis came up to me. And it was like, I have something for you. I was like, okay.

And he gave me the ring. And he gave me like a minute to kind of, you know, let the moment become. And he's like, all right, Ashley's coming down. So you got to put it in your pocket. The problem is, you know, I'm a fashion forward man. So I was wearing, you know, some khakis that were fitting. I wouldn't say slim, but, you know. So anyway.

The ring. The ring, exactly. Exactly. It pops right out there. So he's like, just make sure you keep Ashley on your right because it's very obvious. This bulge in your left pocket. So Ashley comes walking down the stairs and I'm standing where I'm open so I'm able to just grab her with my right hand and down the stairs we go onto the beach. And of course she's like, no, I need to go on your left. That's my better side.

And I was like, and then I was like, no, no, get on the right. But what were you going towards? Oh, so they had told me that we were going to go down and give out a date card for like the couple. that was like somewhere in between friendship and romance, like the one that needed to like be put into a romantic environment for possibly to the first. But wait, but then when you all walked out, there were no people around. So did you

think there was? There was a whole group of people. No, so what happened was, yeah, we walked down the stairs and then when you walk down the stairs, right to the left is the Rose star in a room. The Rose Paloppa. The Rose Paloppa. So that's where they collected everybody and that's where we walked into and Harrison was there. And that's when he was like, this is Jared

and Ashley, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're going to hand out a day card. So what we're going to do now is Jared and Ashley, you're going to go down to the other side of the beach. Wait there. We're going to bring couples to them one and a time so they can interview you guys and then decide who gets a day card. Did that air? I don't think all of that did.

I just remember y'all walking on the beach and the proposal. Maybe I fast forwarded just to see the proposal and how was it? I don't know. It aired, but also it's not that memorable. It's just them being like, oh, they're going to hand out a date card to trick Ashley. It wasn't like the pinnacle of the moment. And that's when we walked down the, so we walked down to the beach. they said I was going to have a few minutes alone

just to kind of reminisce. I don't know what the hell I said, but it was dumbest stuff ever. Jared's very long-winded. So like, he was like, this is the bar we first met at. And then... It was, though.

It was a pitiful moment. But at that point, I was like, oh, we are just reminiscing here. Maybe we are not going to engage. We're just... But it's weird because it is a television show and so much of our relationship has formed off camera.

But that was truly the place where we first met. Like, the first time. I ever saw Ashley and then so many memories, honestly bad memories from that beach. I can't believe you married me? Can you believe that you married me for the girl? Of course that kid. No. Look at how cute you guys are. But it's so funny. From when I first saw you, yes. When he first saw me, because when I first saw him, it was so different than when he first saw me. Because when I first saw him, I was like,

holy moly, love at first sight, like, hit with it in a way that I didn't even believe it love at first sight, like even as much as a romantic as I am. And then with Jared, he definitely looked at me like, oh God, that's the dramatic cryer girl. No. Well, first you arrived with, it's really funny to think that the girl that you walked down the stairs with was Lauren, who was my feature sister-in-law. That's even crazy to me. That's weird.

Because he was like, see. That girl is tanking. I didn't watch back then. Did you? No. I had only heard stories. So it's like I never saw, you know, you having the moment of the love at first side, or whatever drama you all had.

I just knew that, you know, like you cried a lot and you had been a lot. on Paradise and I don't even know who says it like we don't know the history right so I mean I knew that there was a story but I don't know it was just like I'm beautiful to see it all come together and it be that was me moving on the chair just by the way if I do that sometimes too I want to point that out but you both seem to be hopeless romantics and really like I don't know even watching your stories you're both into Disney and like all the same things it's almost like how did it not happened. How did you not see it before? Oh, it's such a long story.

He saw it. It was more like an internal, like, dilemma he had within itself. I think there's a lot of different factors. It just seems like a no-brainer for you guys to just... I've never seen two, like, more movie buffs, like into music, all of the things that connect people, like you guys are connected on. Yeah, we have a lot of common interests. And that was definitely like, when he was quoting Jerry McGuire in Boy Mead's World on the beach, I was like, I don't know.

how to convey him like how much that these things that he's saying means to me without like because it goes beyond words and I was like and I'm so nervous and like caught in myself right now that I can't even express myself the way that I normally would so it was like I was really frustrated at myself for just being super nervous and bottled up I think it was very endearing like to see that because a lot of people thought oh it stayed so the way your reaction was more believe if you had like this long soliloquy I would have been like okay you know No, they probably cut, pasted, put this together. No, I think it was, it was, honestly, as a viewer to watch,

I thought it was much, much more realistic to see it that way. And just to hear your excitement, I mean, that was what, a year and a half ago about? What do you mean about our engagement? Yeah, yeah. Like, just to still hear the excitement when you talk about it, the little moments. Like, if you ask Garrett about our engagement, he can't remember anything besides how much he was sweating, I think. Do you think it's because we had like two and a half, we had three years by the time we got engaged and you had like not even three months? And here's the difference.

The main difference that you can overlook between our engagement and your both, which is you guys had to break up with someone literally right before. And that's tough for, I'm sure, Brian and Garrett to kind of think about the engagement and not try to think about what happened 10 minutes prior. Oh, question. I mean, well, Rachel's married. So this is not really... Okay, so back a question. You know how Jordan Rogers reproposed?

Would you want? Garrett to do the same? I don't know. I think, like, I mean, I feel engaged, so I don't feel like I need that again. I think, though, the only thing would maybe make it special is if he were to,

once again, like, ask for my mom's blessing, which I don't even know why that would be needed because she loves him more. than me, I think. No. Sorry, my parents love Ashley more too. That is realistic. That is realistic.

To answer your question, I'm not into it because to me it meant something the first time. I don't care of cameras. And I'm not taking away from Jojo and Jordan. That's their relationship. But cameras, audio, I didn't care. It was the person in front of me that I wanted to propose to me. I'd never been proposed. It meant everything to me.

I didn't care the situation of it. I don't need a reproposal. However, to what you're saying, Brian did it. It was very important for Brian. to ask my dad because my dad told everybody no right I like you wanted Jared to that was very important to me and so before anything happened Brian and my dad had their moment and he asked again yeah I got my dad permission I totally agree and that's and that's the thing you know obviously my dad's not around and for my mom I think both Garrett and Blake in that last week had asked for my mom's

blessing but in that scenario it's weird because she's getting asked by two different guys at that point she didn't know what I was going to do and so I think think it would be special just for him to do that with her and have their moment. But again, I swear my mom loves Garrett more than me. And so she would hands down, she, I mean, he already has it. But it would just be that sweet moment. But yeah, I don't like, you know, we got engaged. I feel engaged. It's not like that one didn't feel real. And, and, and I mean, I've been engaged to him for like 49 years now, it seems like. So I, yeah, I wouldn't want, I wouldn't necessarily need that. Okay. Have you guys started planning it? Do you? No, not at all. Which is,

This is, oh my gosh, perfect segue into what I want to ask you. So obviously, well, you guys all sitting in front of me just planned a recent wedding. And a lot of my friends and family have gotten married. And they say the wedding planning process is a nightmare. It's so difficult. So please give me advice. Like, I want to hear your experience in that overall wedding planning process. If you had help.

Rachel shakes your head. Well, I, well, first of all, I was going to tease and say, I imagine that, like, as soon as Jared proposed that you, like, opened up. the cabinet pulled out the book and you were like, I'm ready to go. That's what people would think. And that's what I would think of myself too. But I really think like we gave it two months or I was like, we knew we wanted to get married the following summer. But we were like, okay, so like in August we'll plan for like the following 12 months. And then of course you start looking at venues and you're like, they're like, oh, we've been sold out for two years.

Can I tell you I met your wedding planner? Yeah, we heard. Where did that happen? at Glenn Powell's birthday party, and I said, I said to him, I go, Troy, I saw the video of you crying. And I looked at my wedding planner and I said, if you don't cry, like Troy cried over Ashley and Jared, we did not do a good job. I thought it was so, he's the sweet. Shout out to Mikey. I love my wedding planner.

But when I saw Troy, I immediately saw the video in my head. And I just thought that was so special. Because a wedding planner really does become, if they're good, you know, they're involved with. every single part of the process. And that is the secret to have, in my opinion, a stress-free wedding. Well, how do you even plan a wedding planner? Where do you go to get a wedding planner? You take advice from either of us.

No, yeah. I'm going to get both. Can I have a combo? They're going to destroy. Yeah. I know Jojo's working actually, I think I can shout out. It's one of Troy's assistants. Okay.

So she's working with her and her mom. Well, so I was really hoping for J-Lo as my wedding planner. I don't think that's possible. I'm pretty sure the wedding planner. the movie actually like created me into who I am today. That was the first chick flick I ever saw in theaters was like a

mom-daughter date. I was 12 and I was just like, that's what I want my life to look like. So when you eat Eminem's, do you pick Simone. I don't do it, but I think about it. I do too. Every to me to me Eminem's so. I might even waste the Emmin'os. Exactly. Don't waste that chocolate. The answer is definitely

wedding plan. The key to is a wedding planner. Yeah, I would say definitely get a wedding planner if you can because that helps a just because they know so many people and have so many connections and make your life so much easier because then like you said you just don't know where to start and then your wedding planner will bring you okay here are five options for photographers like and then oh that's nice yeah because they know what you like and so on and so forth um so do they give you a timeline like okay in this month you need to have x y z done in the next month you need so everybody was like asking us in like fall last year early winter like are you just overwhelmed with wedding planning i was like i I've done barely anything. We've decided on the major things and, like, I'll let him handle that. But you get the venue, it calms down for a while.

Yeah. And then when you hit, like, six months, you're like, okay, we can start talking about this and that, and that. I will say it almost becomes a second job when you have, like, two months out. It's the most fun second job you'll ever have them. No, you didn't have, like, you didn't feel like it was like a second job at all. I was, Mikey said I was the most stress-free bride.

Even the day of my wedding, I was, like, chilling. Like, I remember we were listening to Lizzo drinking and eating breakfast. That's how it should be, though, I think. Because I guess I just already felt so married. We felt very married, too. It was just more of like, it's a thing. And I personally wanted to get married at the courthouse. So I never thought I was going to have this big day.

So I wasn't as into having all the flair. I just really wanted a big family reunion of our families coming together for the first time. So I just didn't care about the details. In hindsight, I would say. We were the most detail-oriented humans that anybody could have. And I hear amazing things about your wedding. I wish, I follow, like, the whole thing on Instagram. I wish I'd been a little bit more particular about certain things, you know, in hindsight, but honestly, I...

What would they be? Because my sister is very particular about, like, her invites and what the paper products are like. I didn't care about that. I was big on my invites. Were you? Okay. See, my thing is, like, people throw them away right away. No, they put them on the fridge.

They're beautiful. CC. I use CC in New York, and she's amazing. I'm sorry. We use it minted, shout out to minted, but they like, Minted for our menus. They worked with us very carefully in order to, like, we had Easter eggs, like in our, you know, Easter eggs and, like, little hidden things that we love.

Like, there was the Superman logo was, like, a shield, and then it had our initials in it for Superman for him. And then there was, um, the Titanic clock. It was like, Meet Me at the Clock. And then in the Clock, it had, um, like, the time of the wedding. Oh, dang. Yeah. I mean, we just had fun.

with it. But honestly, that's why we found it so cool because it meant so much to us. Right. And if people got it great, but just us sending it out to people, we were like, this makes us feel good. It's like you guys. Yeah, we just put a lot of thought. Like, literally, and it was worth every second of it because that day of, not only did we get to experience it, but you got to, we got to experience it with the people we wanted to experience it more than anybody in the world. You know, like we had our, you know, our friends and family there, people we love, like people who I'll never come together. I'll never forget the morning after the wedding.

I kind of had like this epiphany because I woke up, going downstairs at the hotel, and it was my dad, Ben Higgins, Nick Viol, Dean Ungler, and one of my childhood friends, Jimmy. And I was like, this is insane because these people are so, I'm so close with, and this is the first time they've ever met. Like, they have no idea who they are. It is a beautiful, I will tag along with that because we left the day after,

Cancun to go to Greece And I remember we were walking through the lobby And I'm watching my friends, my childhood friends With some of my bachelor friends With my family members all getting ready to go to the pool Because they've been hanging out together since Friday So it's, you're right, you're never going to see that again No, like those people will never be in that room together again

And I remember thinking about it that night Her and I sitting at the table kind of soaking in And trying to really appreciate every second And thinking nobody like this collaboration collection of people will never come together again. And it's really sad to think about it that way, but also kind of beautiful. Well, they came together for you. And that's what I think. To think that people came from so far away. And the weird detail, I have to just share this. Well, like, I think the most detailed thing that we had was probably the music. Like, of the four hours of our cocktail

party and reception, we picked every single song. Well, we were very, we were very, very lucky because We didn't want a band, but then this band, the Jordan Khan Orchestra was friends with Troy, and they kind of knew of The Bachelor, and they wanted to really do it. And so we talked to them, we said, listen, you know, we gave them a list of songs. We're like, is it possible for you to play these songs? They're like, yeah, no problem. And it was just like, okay, are you sure? And it was Disney songs.

They learned how to play shallow for us, which was the best moment of the wedding. See, this is what I mean, totally different. We gave a list of songs. We were just like mixed Latin music with like hip hop, pop, and let's just go there. Yeah. My biggest complaint about weddings, having like gone with him for so many over the past year, we were like, oh, like, I want a song that's going to get us hyper. I want a song that's going to like make me feel like romantic with you and make it feel like date night. So we just kind of like curated it.

And plus throughout my like romantic childhood, I was like, I want this song, play my wedding, I want this song play my wedding. And you remember them all. Well, I went through my iTunes library and it took quite a few. hours to like... Oh, you have no idea who actually I Canetti is. This woman is the most meticulous, hardworking, detail-oriented person. It's true, though. You spent, I mean, hours, days on just small things going through every single one of them.

I can tell. But honestly, it was a lot of fun doing it because I think both of us had the mindset of if we're going to do it, let's do it. And let's have fun with it. Go all in. This is great advice for you. Because I'm like, we just told people, go up to the DJ and request the song you want to play. Right.

That's so this is good We wanted to personalize it in every single way Because Jared and I are just really into personalizing things And I think the biggest thing The reason I wanted to really start personalizing it It started when we decided to have the wedding in Rhode Island Because it's just my home state And I have a lot of pride

Nobody has a lot of area And so once Ashley was like I would love to You know all I need is a waterfront, you know Water and I'm fine And so once I was like, I want to do this right. You know, it's in Rhode Island. I have a lot of pride, and I want to make sure that, like, people who come here are like,

wow, Rhode Island. Never thought. People did. That's one state I have not been to, and I really want to. It looks beautiful. Thank you. So, when I go, I'm going to hit you guys up for all the recommendations. What was the hardest decision that you guys had to come to in the entire planning process?

Guest list, not even questions. Yeah, Jared was, like, really stressed about the guest list, but it became a topic podcast. It was the hardest thing because it just we had a cap. We picked a venue that...

How many people? 175 if you're pushing it? We had a cap too. It's tough. Did you... Okay. This is because did you argue over the guest list

because this is where I would say our only argument came. Did you split the guest list evenly? No. We probably shouldn't have done that. That's where it became. Really?

Yeah, that was an issue for us. So we were capped at 180 and that was still pushing it. is was technically the occupancy max was 180 yeah and it was still like people still it was just it wasn't the reception it's where the actual ceremony was okay it was already hot it's august in cancun it was it was a lot but we split the list down the middle and i did not want that and it was because i well technically i still had more people than him i don't know if he yeah that's fair you're the bride but it we were split but we split our costs down the middle too

Oh, but then what about, like, people who are common people, like production and Bachelor? I put them on his list. No, actually. No, actually. They're your friends, Bannie. It was very like, if there were 12 common people, six went on my list and six went on his. Oh, okay, okay. That's how we did it.

How did that create so much argument then? It seems so fair. Okay. I don't know if I'm sharing it too much. Because my parents were very big on, like, it's your wedding. They gave some money, but they were just very much like, My parents are very religious, and they didn't like the fact that we lived together before we were married. And my dad said, if you live with someone before you're married, I'm not going to pay for the wedding.

And I knew that going in. I also felt like I was 34. Yeah, I was 34. And I just kind of was like, I can afford to pay for this myself at this point. So it really didn't bother me. Anyways. But they ended up giving something, I think, maybe because I talked about it too much publicly that they were like, okay, we kind of feel bad. Our daughter is making us look bad.

My parents were kind of like, since we're not, with my sister, when they paid for it, they invited all their friends because they paid for it. They didn't feel they needed to do that for me. That's not how Brian's mom was. She was like, I have 30 couples that I want to invite. We had 90 and 90. So that's kind of what became the issue of my parents aren't saying their friends can come because they realize they're not contributing towards it. That wasn't the same sentiment wasn't shared on that side. So it just kind of became a where do we draw the line?

then I couldn't invite. We both have big families, big, big families. So it was really hard to draw the line with, like, cousins and aunts and uncles. Yeah, it sucks. I had a friend who got married, and her parents paid, I think, the front of, like, 35% of it, and then his side of the family contributed the rest. And so they wanted to split the guest list up that way. Oh, God, that's horrible.

And it costs so much stress up front. And I'm like, so I hear all these different things. And for me, like Garrett's family, they're so amazing. They're just so welcoming that they want to invite literally everyone. Like their encounters and like all these random people to just celebrate where I'm like, well, we also have a budget. So that's that is the one part that whenever Garrett and I start wedding planning that is going to scare me. Your budget goes out the window. Did your budget go out of the window?

Yeah. But we, I mean, compared to what people pay for weddings, we didn't pay that at all. Do you get annoyed and people are like, oh, well, you got your wedding for free? And you're like, oh, I did. Well, my wedding absolutely wasn't anywhere close to it. It wasn't, but we didn't pay that much compared to what people pay, but we still went over the budget. I think I was only going to be, it was going to cost us 20 out of pocket. And it didn't.

I think, I don't even care. I think I don't even care. I think it paid 50. I didn't pay 15. If you guys could change anything, would you? No. And what would be? No.

Yeah. Well, what? Well, I would be more detailed about certain things. I just was kind of like, oh, it's a. free-for-all. I wish I had I didn't want to make people wait. I wanted there to be a transition, everything. It's like you did wedding, eat, party

that I didn't focus on getting everybody for pictures. So we don't have, and we had to get pictures like for people and all that and the stuff. We don't have a picture of all of our family together. We don't have an entire, yeah, because we did pictures before and I

did not want Brian to see me before. It was like a big thing. That's why like our first picture, people were like it's so awkward. And I'm like, because we really didn't want to see each other. So that was like my one thing. And I have my family all together. He has his family all together, but we did not take one all together. That's my biggest regret. That stinks. We made sure, because that was a fear, you know, and you want the families together. So we spent, we took pictures for like an hour and a half after the ceremony before the, you know, reception started. We ended up actually having to

pay for an extra hour of the reception hall because it took up too much time that was unexpected. But But I don't think, you know, I'm not trying to sound obnoxious. I don't think I would change the thing because we worked so hard on it. And I think the biggest thing people say is that they wish they didn't spend so much money on it. But everything that we did, it just had such a- It meant something. It meant something. Everything meant something.

And that would be my, and while it was time, sure, stressful and time-consuming, that day of being able to, like I said, just like picture it in your head. experience it and then it's kind of like this is going to sound really weird but seeing other people experience it through their eyes as well because let's be honest like we're we're very we're all very lucky to be in the positions that we are you know from just being selected to be on the show and we get to have experiences that a lot of people don't get to go through right and so the day of the wedding i think you know we wanted to give everybody like especially our families like be like hey you know like this again obnoxious but we were able we're kind of friendly with

David Cook, and we got David Cook to perform. It was on American Hill, and people were like, oh, my God, David Cook. Wow. That's insane. Like, seeing, like, my mom, you know, seeing David Cook sing are the mom and groomed dance and then see my mom's reaction to it. It was something I'll never forget. Right.

You know, and it was like, that's worth every, everything we did. Yeah. So that's usually our advice to people is, like, throughout the entire year, you're going to be like, is this worth it? Is this worth it? Are we going to have the day, and then we're going to have the day, and then we're going to feel bad about spending so much money. Oh, and then, like, four days before, they'd be like,

oh, by the way, we need $2,000 for this lighting in the corner that's not going to matter. And it's like, well, why do you need to do that? And we need to do it for this reason, blah, blah, blah. And then they're like, well, if you went all out, like, just do it. Oh, it's just so. Don't stop now. Oh, you have no idea how much lighting and cords and power.

And it's just like, why is the venue not paying for this? We paid for the venue. I feel like you're going to be somewhere in between. Yeah. What we did. Yeah. And I told you, I was like, our venue. Berms bare bones. That was the one thing that's why our venue seemed cheap when we first

signed up for I was like, that's because you're not paying for anything. We got a quote the first time, get ready for it. We got because, especially in Newport, Rhode Island, it was very, the flowers were insane, but just like the first quote we got for a venue. We looked at it, Ashley and I, like, my stomach dropped. I don't know. It was six figures. Let me said that. And it was just. For a video? No, no, no, no, no. The venue came with everything. Oh. So the venue came with food and flowers and like, a open bar. And all that stuff. And it was like 110,000 was the first number that we ever saw for a New Port

Rhode Island wedding. And Ashley and I were like, should we elope? Should we not do this? Drive through and just like have someone officiate there. That would be great. I am so frugal that spending a huge amount of money in one night makes me very nervous. But we're pretty frugal too. Like you would be surprised by the way that our wedding looked and versus like how we are in our day to day.

You will be surprised what, I mean, I went from a lot. to having like a full out wedding right but it's different because of what they're saying about how when you see it through your family member's eyes and bringing all these people together that are there to celebrate life and love for you and garret one time and it's it's not going to happen that way again it'll change your mind and i am like the anti-wetting like i'm not a hopeless i am a hopeless romantic obviously i went on the show but not like to the extreme of some people but there is something about getting started planning your wedding. I only tried on like four dresses.

I knew kind of what I wanted for my invitations, but you're doing it. And you have your mom and your mother-in-law and your sister. And it's just, there's something, the energy, I can't explain it. You'll get excited. Like, that's the price of admission right there. Nick cried, you know?

I want to actually know between the two of you who cried more. Well, during the ceremony, probably Jared. Well, actually, it's probably like more like tied because, like, I didn't start crying until I started reading my vows. He cried, like, when he saw you. Yeah. Can I tell y'all something? Brian saw the video of you reading vows and that y'all had booklets.

Yeah. He didn't have input on a thing, the entire wedding, saw the booklets and was like, I want the booklets. I want those booklets. I want to have something pretty to read out of. No, oh, it gets better. And so I was like, well, that means we got to write them before. Like, I was going to write them the day, the morning of. Just kind of based on what I was feeling or the night before.

Yeah, half-asset. Well, no, like, for me, it was like, how am I going to feel? I want to speak from that feeling. That was, like, my thought. No, that makes sense. We ended up doing it a week before because he wanted the booklets, got it done. That's so adorable. We get to the wedding.

I have my booklet. His mom was supposed to bring his booklet. And he's, as I'm getting ready to walk, I'm like, what is he looking for? I can see him. Oh, no. And he was looking for his booklet. Oh, no. the poor guy.

And that's the one thing he won. Where was it? Where did it end up? His mom left it in the room. Did she have to go ready? I was already walking down the aisle. So did he do it by memory? His brother, like he emailed it.

Somehow I got emails his brother and so he had to read it from his phone. And I had the booklet. Oh, Brian. But I felt so mad because that was the one thing. Yeah, but you're the bride. You look beautiful. At least you have the booklet. I mean, he looks great too.

But that's what we took from you guys. He should have put the phone in your booklet just to cover it up. Babe, give me that. That would have worked to make it pretty. To be fair, I didn't finish my vows to the morning up either. Yeah, it was crazy. I've heard that a lot that most people don't do it until the day up. Our wedding planner also didn't write his till a day of.

I heard from multiple people not until the day of. I was like, we got married on Sunday. I wrote it on Friday. And I can't believe that I waited to that Friday. Yeah. Again, like I'm very excited for you, Becca, for that moment of walking down the aisle. because it's really unlike it just puts smile on it would always put a smile on my face just like that that that that that 20 minutes right where like I was in there was like a side room for all the groomsmen and like literally seconds before they go into the church and I have to wait there we have like a toast and it was just like it was a moment you know and it's just like it is like rachel said everybody is there for you like everybody's dressed up for you you know it's just and then walking down the aisle and people like gasped like And you're like, oh, this is, this is just, it's just, and then being up there and then seeing

everybody you love, you know, walk down the aisle. It was just like, God. And then the doors opened up and Ashley's there and it's, yeah. Was it intimidating? It was, so I knew I was either going to show out or be really nervous walking down the aisle. What do you mean show out? Like, be like, like, I got it. Yeah, like, I see you.

And I wasn't like that. I was fixated on Brian. And neither one of us cried, but I remember standing up there, and I looked out and I saw everybody, and then I had to turn away. It made me very nervous. I don't know what it was about. I couldn't see people. Yeah. Like, it was like being on stage.

It was overwhelming. And not being able to, like, see, like, a real face. And then I was like, oh, I can't find so-and-so. I can't find so. So then I was like, no, focus. But don't you think it's different? Because on stage, you're putting on a show. Like, oh, I'm on stage.

I'm playing into all of this. But all that is stripped away. when you're standing up there being so vulnerable We had our pastor from Dallas Yeah I'm standing at my

About to be my husband Your family's in the front row It just Like I couldn't cry But I was very overwhelmed By that A lot of people don't cry Because they're so overwhelmed

By the moment That they just can't It was almost a blur Yeah I was gonna say That was my question to you Was it a blur to you With you and your dad Like I remember my dad next to me

But like I don't remember Like anybody's face walking down. I just remember it from video now. Like for who I've seen the video. Well, Rachel, you were a beautiful bride. And you had a beautiful bride. And Brian was a very handsome groom too. Same with you.

And some man. I feel like between the four of you guys, Bachelor nation had a lovely eye, I feel this, does that make sense? I feel. I can't be like this. We've been doing this, though. We've been podcasting.

We can't figure out. They had something good to look at this year. There was four bachelor weddings this year. Yeah. So, wild. For Lauren and Laura, well, of 2019, there were Lauren and Lauren R.A. And that Crystal and Chris and Chris. Do you say Crystal and Chris or Crystal Crystal?

I say Crystal and Crystal, I say Chris and Crystal usually. I don't even know. I want to know. So I, well, I talked to you a while ago. Actually, you're the little bridal shower that we had for you. How you got your gown from Randy Rahm. It was beautiful. Now, Ashley, you had two stunning gowns.

Thanks. How did you, did you know that you wanted an outfit change? No, I didn't think I wanted an outfit change. Okay. I was actually one of those brides that was like, I want to love my first dress so much that I don't want a second one. But I'm so glad that I did have the outfit change because I could not walk around the reception hall in my, in my dress, the first one. And like, while, yes, I love my first dress more than my second one, it just, I felt sexier in my second one. It was just more fun and flirty.

Easier to dance in. I thought your version was pretty, but I adored your second one. Thank you. I thought it was like simple but sexy. I decided on that one first. It was so I loved it. I said yes to that one first. And then when I came home that night, I was like, I love my dress.

But I'm not sure like that was like the dress I always envisioned. It certainly wasn't the one that I envisioned my whole life. So then I was like, oh, I'll go for fun. Oh, no, I know. I got a call from the one from the other bridal store that had the, the ceremony. gown. And they're like, we can give you a little bit of a break. And I was like, oh, okay, this changed this thing. These changes a little bit. I kind of

like that. I like the outfit change. It's, it makes it fun. Switches it up. Yeah. I think you'll enjoy it. Yeah. Oh, I love. That's right. I love that. Shorts. That's right. I had to be able to get down. No, and you were in Mexico. Yeah. Y'all, don't do that. August. Don't do Mexico. I had to do it in August. I had to do it before football season. It was, it was strategic. because I hate when people play in weddings no offense if anybody does it during

football because I have to work and it's just it's just a lot so we wouldn't do that on we understand we're from a football family are you a Cowboys fan? Of course yeah that's right this one gave me a cowboy shirt Ashley she sent it to me somebody sent it to her

and she's like what's your address that they gave me a cowboy shirt yeah that's right it's a cool one right yeah yeah DAC franchise tag yeah that's a whole not a whole other conversation I do want to ask you guys about like the next phase

because I feel like once you get married once you come back from your honeymoon everyone's like when are you having babies now we all know we have dog children all of us in the room we do we take that role very seriously little baby up there do you feel the pressure to talk about having children

or you just kind of like we'll do it you know like I don't know how you guys answer it we're just like yeah I mean there's pressure but it's annoying I'll say that the question like on the red carpet is usually annoying because like you feel just like and then you get an ass on Instagram too all the time like if I do like the questions like ask me a question yeah I say like don't ask me about being yeah but you also kind of

like sure there's a lot of pressure about the same time we're we have to be self-aware of where we came from and kind of the show that we were on like that's kind of just what people are going to ask you know that'd be like you know a football player just being like don't ask me about football and it's like well I mean, yeah, I get that, but, you know, at least one of the questions have to be about football. Like, I get it. Like, we got married and then people were going to be like, well, when are you having kids? I guess. But I feel like couples who aren't on TV also get that immediately after they get married.

Well, that's what I mean? Just, I guess couples are always pushing the next chapter. Oh, yeah. And I mean, like, what are you planning right now? I'm going to ask you the question. We always just say, oh, within the year. Yeah, but it's, and this is kind of like a segue, and we said that every year. But this kind of segue into my next question.

because we live in Miami and work for me is out here in L.A. You're all over. You're like in Bristol, Connecticut. You're in Miami. You're here. But now it's more like L.A. That's becoming a thing. And so we moved to Miami because Brian opened up a practice there. So he moved

to Dallas for me for two years. I said I would support what he was doing for two years in Miami and we'd re-evaluated and see where we are. How long you guys been in Miami for? Since April. Oh, okay. So almost a year. Wow. Yeah. Wait, how long have you guys been together? three, well, three years in May. It's been engaged, three years and holy crap, time flies by.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we got engaged May 2017. How old am I? No, it's just like there's been so many seasons that, you know, it's, I know, it's crazy to even think about. Wow, that's so crazy. Yeah.

Raising the kids. Like, where to live. And the reason I also bring this up is because we recently just saw the breakup of Joe Kendall, and it's where they want to live. It's all about it. That's an issue. And I hear you say you love Rhode Island. You literally like you're an, like, do y'all talk about this?

Do you have like a plan, a light at the end of the tunnel? In my vows, I even said that I would move back to New England. Do you have a time frame? Because that's how big of a deal it is to him. I always said so when I've, so I moved out here in late 2017 with Nick. And he had like an extra room. And so he's like, just come out here. You've never moved out of Rhode Island.

Just stay with me. And then see if you like it. So came out here in November, December, didn't really like it. And then that's when winter games happened. And then I was like, I'm an idiot. And that's when I had to kind of like really step up and take some action with Ashley. And then in the back of my head, I was like, well, if it doesn't work out with Ashley, I'll just move back to Rhode Island. That's not bad at Planned B.

And so, of course, it did. And we're staying out here. Ryan's like his second girlfriend. Well, no, it's not that. It's just more like, I'm sure Brian can attest to this and probably Garrett that and all of you guys. Like, just, you know, where your family is and where you, where your heart is, it's hard to stay away from that, especially when you're living in L.A., which is a very, um, can be a difficult place to live. It can be a lonely place. It's just, there's, you know, and I, I hate the stereotypical things to complain about, but like, traffic is very bad.

You want to go six miles. Get ready to take 45 minutes. And then it is, there's just, it's a big city with a lot of, uh, you know, it's hard to explain, but you got to like kiss ass and just like, you know, if somebody needs. needs you there. You've got to be there right now. And the weather's nice, but I also think that it's a nice weather year round is the most overrated thing. I do. I think it's overrooted. Move to Minnesota and you won't be saying that. I agree. New England's a little different. But you did not. I mean, New England's not that much different. Actually, it could be fair. No, Minnesota is a negative 56? No, no, no, no, no. So I guess for like my, my winter, I just need, I need bad weather to appreciate good with her. It was 80 all weekend. I did nothing outside. I know. I wanted to, but I was like, I want to watch. You just forget. You just

forget that it's nice out because it's nice every day. But I have to say, like, I, we were talking about Joe and Kendall before on this podcast, and, you know, they probably always knew one love Chicago, one loved L.A., and you probably think oh, one will bend. But I think it's so great that you set it in your vows and you have these important conversations of, listen, this is realistically where I want to settle down and where I want to raise a family. And you have to address these things. Otherwise, honestly, you're really not having a successful relationship.

And I agree. It's a constant conversation with Brian and I, where, like I said, he's supported me, I support him, and then we'll reevaluate where we are and just move, see where our lives are and then figure it out from there. See, like what we talk about realistically is, like Ashley says, like you said, the work out here is in L.A. right now. I think Ashley and I always get nervous that the work always won't be there, which is why we're here now. We always do think that the work, yeah, I guess you're right. But for what I've always wanted to do. I know why we have to be out. here. But yeah, it sucks. Like I just miss home,

miss my family. I miss like the routine of things. I miss the convenience of things. I miss being able to just, uh, there's there's also like a different dynamic being on the East Coast and there is the West Coast. That's just the truth of the matter. Like, so different. It is, you know, just, yeah, your day to day, the way of life, the conversations you have

with people, I feel like, I don't know, it's just different. I miss green. I miss like, I draw, honestly, I was driving in Burbank today and there was grass. And I was like, man, it feels good just to have fresh air. It gets excited about parking lots. too. So do you guys have a time frame of when that would happen?

Yeah, I mean, like, that's, it's, it's creeping up. It's creeping up. It's creeping. I mean, what we initially said, chairs, like, oh, I got it on the calendar, baby. When we first got together, which is like two years ago, we said five years, which would give us another three years here. But I think it'll be more like

two years. And I think that's just because, like, the kid thing, because I don't think I want to have, like, a newborn. and then have to and then not have family in the area I've had my sister here. I've had my sister here. Where are you from? I'm from Northern Virginia. So like the hour, it's an hour flight

between Rhode Island and in Virginia. And I feel like my parents would probably come one weekend and like alternate. You know what I mean? Like not alternate. Like I'd go to Virginia one weekend out of the month and then they come up there one weekend of the month. And it's just like, yeah. But I don't know if we can really have a kid without a

family member here. Do you guys feel like you could have a kid without a family member? Yeah. Yeah. But I, but I, I would prefer family around. Yeah. I really do. But I think about that. I'm like, if we have children in L.A., I do, I wouldn't be alone. Like, there would be people out here. But preferably Dallas or Miami is ideal. But then I'm just thinking of like in the grand scheme of things. It really just depends where we are. Yeah. Like I'm very big about let's reevaluate and see where we are. in another year, maybe I don't even want to do what I'm doing anymore. Who knows? Well, that changes with me all the time.

Like, I used to, I came out here wanting to be like an entertainment host. And now I'm like, I'm not feeling fulfilled by like just talking about pop culture. So like I feel like if I am evolving in that way now, let's see where we are in two years. Because then I feel like anything, I feel like what I could want to do could be more New York based and less L.A. based. So we'll see. But it's really a decision that I don't even think I could be able to make for at least another. year or at least earlier year you got time and i feel like that's a testament to like you know everyone who's listening you just these conversations change we change we evolve so you just have to constantly keep having

them and if you're not and you're ignoring them and not talking about the elephant in the room then honestly the relationship is doomed at the end of the day it's going to be a snowball effect and it's just going to grow grow grow until it becomes this huge thing where it overcomes the relationship and really might be you know uh a big deterrent to get over yeah my relationship before bryan before the show we were together for five years and there were issues but the biggest one

is that neither one of us were willing to make the sacrifice to move towards each other Where was he living? He was still in Texas I mean he was down But I mean still Texas is big

Texas is big But I was in Dallas And he was in Austin at first And then outside of Houston And he had a child So I was like That we heard about your ghosting story No no no that's not him

Not the motivation for me getting to do the show. I thanked him by the way. I was like, thank you. I talked about you in my audition and that got me the show. The ghost and guy? No, no, no, no. This was like the guy I thought like this was it. Right. It really

wasn't a mature relationship when I think about it in hindsight, like some of the stuff we're talking about right now. But the biggest thing is we wouldn't sacrifice. Neither one of us wanted to bend for the relationship in each other. And that's like a common true story. Yeah. Well, and that's the thing

especially even coming from the show, when you're lucky like us in a relationship, for the most part, no one ends up or no one is from the same city. So, I mean, I obviously was from Minnesota. Garrett was living in Reno. It took us for, I'm trying to think, like six months about before we could agree on where we wanted to move. Because I, of course, was pushing for my home state. He was pushing for Nevada. And finally we got to the point where like, look, we're back and forth so often. We just we came to the conclusion of like, let's just go to neutral ground. We'll go to San Diego. We have some family nearby do that we said for two or three years so that's where we're at now but yeah

it's always a constant conversation of okay like one day maybe we'll buy property and go to reno or i think minnesota's out of the picture now but yeah it's a struggle and especially i think for people on the show when they're like house life afterwards it must be so easy and great it's like you still have to deal with these struggles and tough conversations and changes like any relationship does it's just compromise i feel like i mean ashley and i didn't really go through this but you really start dating I remember Caitlin was talking about Sean when she first got off the show obviously before Jason but she was said something along the lines of like I felt like we didn't start dating until the show ended you know we fell in love on the show and we got gazed but then we left and that's when we really started dating real life yeah I don't know if you guys would agree or not yeah I have um a thing to say about the distance though I think like in Joe and Kendall's situation Like, she knew that she wouldn't be her full, happiest self if she wasn't in L.A. And he also felt like he wouldn't be his best self if he wasn't in Chicago.

So then it's, like, weird when it gets to, like, that I didn't, I chose a state over you. I mean, working towards each other. Because Jared doesn't feel like he is his best self in L.A. And actually, I don't have to say, Jared says that Jared isn't his best self when he is in L.A. I think that's hard. I think that's what you battle. and I battle that I am not my best self in Miami. I'm not.

Like there's no work. I thrive off of working. Like I've worked since I was 11 years old, playing piano in church. And I just, I love that. I feel my best self when I'm doing that. So it's hard because when you make those sacrifices, how do you at the same time maintain your independence? How do you find that?

And I don't know if that's a question that you can even answer, but I think that that's what you struggle when you have to make those sacrifices to move to another city. another state, you know, I don't know the answer to that. It's almost like the work-life balance. It's a myth. You know, it just like doesn't exist. Absolutely.

No, I said this week, I tweeted it. I don't know if you guys saw it. Being an adult is definitely when you're not at work. You've actually cleaned your work to-do list. And yet, you know that there's something you should be doing other than sitting on the couch. Yeah. Yeah.

I think I saw that one. I think I liked it. Yeah. When we first got engaged, I think I was going through a tough time because, especially, as you guys know, just women who come off the show are just more like than men. I remember Tanner gave me the advice. He's like, just as a heads off, like, you know, you should factor this in. Like, they're going to like Ashley more than you, especially with you denying her for two years. And then now you guys are engaged.

And so being in an LA and kind of not feeling my best self. And then having that on top of it was a little, was a little. a little tough time, because then, like, people would come up, I'm not even joking, there'd be times where people would come up and they'd be like, you know, Jared, I hated you for a while, but you're with her now, so I kind of like you. And it's like, yeah, well, I can't swear on this podcast, right? Oh, you can. Ah, you know what, go fuck yourself. The more I'm out of, out of the show, and like, the more that social media becomes so much more prevalent, I realize that common sense is not common to people.

Like the stuff that you hear and that people say and that they ask you, I'm like, really? I have a story that pertains to you, Rachel. You said that as if it was the show you. You're like, you, Rachel. Oh, yeah, you, Rachel. And so it was your season. And before, obviously, well before Ashley and I started dating, I went on a couple dates with this one girl, never went anywhere. and but like we followed each other on Instagram and the day of your announcement with

Brian obviously there was a lot of you know public opinion yeah uh and that girl who I had been on dates with very normal very very very normal uh commented under your post and I saw it because it was obviously a photo I follow her and she goes good luck with your shitty husband So I messaged her And I said, why did you say that? Because it was the first time like I ever saw Because you have my back Well, because, well, anytime we see comments like that

Are I feel like all our thoughts goes to They're faceless, they're nameless, they're trolls, who cares? But this is somebody that I knew. Wow. Well, I just like when I was truly like of kind of a friendship thing But still like it was crazy. So I messaged her and I said, why did you say that? And she immediately responded saying,

I have no idea. I don't know why I said that. I'm such an idiot. Because she got called out. Yeah. And she's just like, I deleted it. I don't know.

I was just caught up in the moment. And it occurred to me like, wow. Just I guess you know what it is? People like who have these initial reactions in the living room, you know, when they're watching a show and they're like, oh, whatever. Instead of just saying it, they literally go on their phone and comment on it. Yeah.

To click on the photo to write type. Living room thoughts were not meant to be on Twitter, guys. You know when you don't I'll I say this all the time like Chris Jenner said this to me I don't know what you're talking about well that's cool That's badass Rachel says that like it's no big deal I've known her boyfriend for like 20 years oh okay so And I was talking about trolls or something and she was like basically saying don't worry about that

That's just some lonely person sitting on their couch You know in Iowa who doesn't have a sense of community and is looking for you know Like kind of how Reddit can be you have a community, you have these online friends and so you talk shit and do whatever else in this community not realizing it's almost like they don't realize we're human and that it can affect us

but have you ever, speaking of that calling you out have you ever, I used to clap back at everybody I have since calm down as a married moment I have calmed down but have you ever responded to a troll in your DMs or something and then they completely take it back like that girl oh yeah oh my time

oh my God that was my friend she didn't take her medicine or oh my God that was my niece or my niece or my cut, it happens every, I can't believe you read it. I'm, I just like, did you need to vent? Then what was the point? Yeah. It's like, thinking, like, what is the point to actually physically take your time out of your

day and mind to type this out? And then, yeah, and they're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you would see it or it's like, I can read. I go on my phone, of course. It's amazing when you comment back to someone who comments under your photo and they're like, oh my God, I never thought you were going to read that. And it was like, I only had 67 comments. Like, it's not like a crazy number.

Not a Kardashian. And like some of my photos is like, there's only like 15 comments sometimes. And it's like, of course I'm going to see it, guys. Like I, it's not like I'm going to like an A list already with literally 15,000 comments. Right. It's just that excuse never. It's really fun to me. They're like, there's seven other comments besides yours.

I will never understand people's thought process. And like, why do you feel the need? I think two things. One, I think they see the show almost as if it's scripted. Like we are TV characters. I personally think it's more scripted. And then two, I also think it's the barrier of phone computer. So it's not a face-to-face interaction.

You people in Bastard Nation comment on articles that have nothing to do with them or from a different account. And to defend a lot of our followers because obviously we're very grateful for them. And two, 98% of the comments are positive. And for some reason, the 2% are the loudest to all of us. And that's what I try to recognize too, because it's always like, you know, so many good comments in They're so supportive and so sweet. And then there's that one bagged one. And I'm like, this son of a bitch.

Wait, time about Jared. Do you get this? So this happens to Garrett all the time. He'll post a photo and people all the time will think that it's on my account. And so they'll comment like they're talking to me. And Garrett's like, I don't know where your shirt is from. Why are they asking? Because this is my account.

Like, does that happen to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they ask me. Well, usually, sometimes it's like, please ask Ashley where she got this. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know guys. Yeah. I got it. All right.

I feel like we, like, there should be like a fireside chat here. We should all be, well, I, I am drinking champagne and so is Becca, but I literally could sit here and talk to you guys forever. Like just, well, no, seriously, because we have so many shared experiences, but then different at the same time. This has just been really refreshing. Well, we typically like to play a game. I love ending games. With our guest. And of course, since you are newlyweds.

It's the newlywit game? I'll take it. We were playing a newlyway game. I love the newlyway game. So we're going to ask you questions. We're very competitive. And you're going to say, it's great. You should have a competitive spirit in your relationship.

Do you guys make feds on stuff? No. Not even football. You're both football family. Yeah, but we usually agree with how it's going to happen. I'm just converted her. You're not a Patriots fan? No, no, I've converted her.

Okay. Because I was like, you are a giant fan. But like, Eli Manning is the backing of my, well, my dad is the backing of my fanhood. but Eli Manning was like what really got me into it so this year I'm not phasing out or by any means just a lot less interested Are you don't believe in Danny Dimes?

Oh I believe in him He's gonna be fine He might be really good Just give me a couple of years To get like you know Reacquainted over there If anybody is gonna remind me of Eli It's him

So like I'm thankful for them Bringing me a whole maybe 10 plus years With somebody who reminds me very much Of course they draft the goofy quarterback Right after Eli They did it as a tribute anything I could possibly say. They did that as a good tribute to you.

No, they didn't. They didn't. People were booing when he got drafted. Yeah, they drafted him because I think he's going to be good. But then we got to like know him a little bit more and like realize how goofy and Eli Askey is. But yes, this is far off topic. For anyone listening who might not be a sports fan, I'm with you there. I'm cheersing you right now.

I just know nothing about sports. Okay. So you guys don't bet over sports. So what else would you bet over? No, we'll just bet over certain things, like stupid things. Like what is when we just said? But we'll bet like massages or something. Oh, I would like.

to do that. Yeah, but babe, I won every time. So, like, your just, your hands are going to get really tired. Let it start with this game. Okay, we'll start with this game. Whoever wins this game. Wait, who do you think's going to win? Um, well, I don't know. Last time we played this game, and he forgot what my favorite movie was. I just, I, I, uh, that's not on brand with your relationship. No, it was just like a moment of weakness. Did you learn? No, I knew it. What is her favorite movie? It's Titanic. I just was thinking romantic comedies. That's why. And so I had 15 seconds. I said wedding planner. Ashley, I am not a rom-com person, even though that's not a rom-com, I'm just like not in a romantic movies, but I'm obsessed with the Titanic.

Yeah, that's great. And can I just tell you in the movie? Yes. Can I just tell you my favorite part in the entire movie? Yeah. And I just want to know if you know this, because I feel like this, I don't know if I can share this with any other movie with you. When Rose is being lowered into the water. Yeah.

And he's standing there. Oh, the way he looks at her. And he, and, you know, the music starts playing. That's great soundtrack. and she just jumps and they run towards each other and they're back at the stairwell and he grabs her and he's like, you're so stupid Rose. Why did you do that? I cry from then until the end of the middle. It is my favorite. I still cry

watching that movie. That in the notebook gets me every single time. Can I say two things about them? Go ahead. I was going to say the notebook gets like you are not a human being if you haven't cried during the notebook. Yeah, but I don't cry anymore when I watch it. Garrett has not been notebooked yet. That's weird. I know. He's never seen it. Jared's really into anything gossling. So he's like, we've done recreation. Oh, dude, gossling with that beard and that hair.

Okay, wait. That, bro. That guy's a man right there. I must share this about Titanic, though. The first, so I watched it, like, I used to watch it. I'm just so glad that we grew up with Leo Mania. Like, were you a little too young? No, because you're my sister's age.

So it's like, okay, so like you may have been like in the under tail of it, but you still got it. I couldn't watch it at first because of the beauty, but once I got a little. It wasn't a lot of it. Once they were able to like, you know how like the VCR work where you can like stop taping it for a second and then you can press record again, they cut out the sex scene in the car. And my friends were like, Ashley, there's a sex scene. And I was like, no, there's not. And like I just didn't catch the fact that they edited that out. My parents self-edited. Okay. But about Titanic, I watched it every day for like a good couple months, like every day, you know, in elementary school. And I was. And I was. I watched it every day, you know, in elementary school. And I don't know. I think I've probably saw a total of, if I'm not exaggerating 60 times, before for the 20th anniversary, 20th, right? 2016, it would have been the 20th. Yes, yes. Or 2017.

Oh, or maybe. Or maybe it was the, oh, it was the sinking. It's the 100th anniversary of the sinking. Oh, that would have been 2012. Yes. So in 2012, they re-released it to theaters. And my sister and I watched it from beginning to the end the first time that we ever saw in the theater. and it was the first time I ever cried during it

and I was uncontrollably like just like almost like scream crying stopping and it was really weird because it was the first time. No it's not weird. No, it's because I was so focused on it the entire three hours and like no distractions, just dark theater. I've never cried harder in a movie. I saw it in the theater

and I had the exact same reaction. The next time I think I whaled out like that was a star's boy. Oh. That was me that was me like a month ago with a homework movie. Oh, really? I was like, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave.

I'm going to leave. I have to leave the theater because if I try to breathe right now, it's going to go. Wait, okay. Oh, that's what happened when the movie stopped. All of a sudden I heard as soon as it went because that where she's singing and then it cuts to him singing. And then the movie ends. All of a sudden, I just heard from next me like, ooh. I could cry right now.

I could cry right now. We were not ready for him to sing that version of the song. Oh, my God. I'm wailed. It's a moment. It's a moment. Wait, did anyone cry during the Super commercial, the Super Bowl commercial?

Google one, Loretta? Oh my gosh! We were all just... Got me so deep, so hard. It's like Google, I'm watching the Super Bowl to get away from everything. Can I just tell you that I was just doing something at extra

with Billy? Yeah. So they do these little vignettes and so he was showing me what his most emotional, what his emotional game was. Shit. What his emotional, the commercial.

And he's showing it to me and they're filming it. And I had seen it, but I had to act like I didn't. And I start, we all started crying. Billy's crying. I'm crying. You can hear the producer sniffling because I was just telling him

like Alzheimer's runs in my family. So to see it was tough. But then the very next commercial in real time when that played was Rick Flair. I know. Everybody was like, why would you do this?

Literally yeah, it was Google. And I was like, who! And I was like, what a transition that was? I don't know what the hell's going on anymore. They're like, we're going to snap out of it. Like Rick Flair, okay, all or hashtag. Like Loretta.

Okay. We are going to play a game with you guys because we love to play a game with our guests. And we are playing the newlywed game. Of course, it's very fitting. So we're going to ask you a question. Who is blank? And you're going to say bride or groom. Now, since we're talking about bets, the odds are a full body massage.

Whoever wins for how long gives someone a one hour full body massage to do with essential oils. Yeah. Nix. Nix essential oils. Hey, Jerry, should we shake on it? Yeah. We're going to know. Okay, it's official, ladies and gentlemen, here we go.

Get those fingers ready. First one. Who is the better cook? One, two, three. Me. Bride. I went to say Ashley, but. Do you guys agree?

Sorry. Next. I'm just going to say the names because I can't say group right. Can we say our name? Okay. Me, him, Jared. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Who is the better dancer? One, two, three. Jared. What do you guess? I mean, guess. not good, but he is not good either.

I am decent. But at least like he does it. Wait, did you guys not have a choreographed dance for your first dance? No, we just, we did a good job. Yeah. I could probably do that. Like, I could probably ballroom dance because like, it's somewhere in like my chick flick blood.

And just also the guy in that moment, like for me, I was like, I just got to take control. Yeah, it looks good. Diff and spin. It looks really good. Better than Pilot Pete? That's the standard. I would say that's just, he's just about Pilot Pete, which is just about Ben Higgins. they're all about the same.

Well, Ben Higgins compares themselves to like those things I'm gonna give you a point just because it was shady, actually. Wait, man, we both answered correctly. We didn't both answer correctly. You're right. I said you're better.

You're tied. Okay. Who has a larger appetite? Ashley. Wait, they got a cut to three. Well, okay. Well, you guys agreed. You got the same point.

Okay. Oh my God. You know what our biggest argument is about? Is about the fact that he doesn't have a passion for food like I do. He doesn't think of it. about it as much as I do. I have such a passion for food.

And Garrett's the same way. He's like, I just want to eat to live. And I'm like, I want to eat to thrive. I was like, you are an eat to survivor? I would have never thought that about you. We should have to say. Because I don't know. You know, I was going to say it's because you're passionate.

But then I was like, but Jared's very passionate too. Oh, interesting. I agree you. Oh, man. I love a good. Everything. Everything. All right.

Next one. Who has a cleaner car? One, two, three. Jared. Okay. We're so good. I know. You're so good.

Yeah. You're tired. Nobody's getting a massage tonight. I know. Okay. Who takes longer to get ready? One, two, three. Ashley.

Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Who is more romantic? One, two, three. Ashley. Oh, I'm such an asshole. I can't admit it that. I know.

And he used to think he was romantic. You saw that time to step it up, Jerry. I know. I need to step it up. I'm romantic, but you're far more romantic. You really are. Oh, my God. I read this stuff.

Next question is so wrong I can see probably how you said it Okay, or thought about it Who takes up more of the bed One, two, three Ashley Is precisely the comforters? She holds the, I wake up

With nothing on me. That's how Garrett is too And I'm like, why am I freezing? Yeah, I just have to like buy Garrett His own comforter and Yeah, I just like They do that in Iceland They do, that's why I'm almost saying to me But you know it's like you want to snuggle

underneath that first and then then you want to be warm and you roll over and steal it. You can't sleep. Snuggling and sleeping just weren't meant to be. A good snuggle session. So it's the man in the room. I know exactly. He says the woman, like, being a big spoon is difficult

because you have body weight on top of your arm. He loves being a little spoon. And if he tries being a little spoon, he's like, ooh, this is nice. Because it's nice that you're like in your little cocoon and you can sleep because there's nothing on top of you. Like when you're a big spoon. I actually do think I like to be big spoon better. because just for that reason.

Like, I don't want to feel like I can't breathe. You like to cradle Garrett? I like to cradle Garrett. He's a big boy. He is sitting down here right now and he's like, oh, gosh. I do. I love to cradle my love, right? Aw.

All right. Who met the in-laws first? One, two, three. He met my parents first. Yeah, Jared met the in-laws first. Yeah, okay. Awesome. We are still tied.

Come on, somebody. We have a tiebreaker in there. Brian and I would not be tied right now. No. Who spends more money? One, two, three. he wants to say Ashley but like it's so almost high it's so close but I'm going to say actually just because of your makeup your beauty products I would say that I do spend more money

but honestly I think it's just like that pink tax type thing or just like as a girl it's just a little bit more expensive to live I think we're both the equal level of frugal but like her makeup and her beauty products cost more than anything I buy so it's just like you know yeah like I paid $100 for sneakers and it took me like two months to buy it because I can't I can't spend this money I can't do it Yeah, it's... And her little vials at 140. I'm like, what?

All right, you guys. Next, who is the first to forgive? One, two, three. Shared. Wow. Yes. Oh, I always think about the times where, like, he usually will, like, oh, I mean, like, maybe I just don't get as mad at things. Well, I think we handle it differently.

Yeah. Like, that's why I think you're easier to forgive because. Ashley literally just is not in a bad mood. She isn't. It's insane because she is the person, like, if something's not in her mind, she's saying it. Immediately and it gets out of the universe and it's out. Like me, I just, I simmer and I bottle it in. I'm quiet.

When's your birthday? November. He's a Scorpio. You're Scorpio. I thought you were going to say you were a cancer. Well, he's still water sign. And so I just kind of, and then she's like, what's wrong? What's wrong?

I'm like, nothing's wrong. nothing is wrong. It's becoming increasingly worse by you asking me if something is wrong. So I think that's why you're easier to forgive because like once I'm out of it, you're like, no, it's fine. I get it. See, I think the reason I say that is because, like, he's the one that usually has to come to forgive. Do you know what I mean? Like, he like has more scenes where he's like, we'll come over and be like, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. We have the same dynamic. Yeah. Interesting. Fine. Let's go to dinner.

Okay. Who snores at night? One, two. Two, three. Neither. Okay. Does that a correct answer? Does anyone give a like a qu? Every now and again? No.

I had a cold. He had a cold. That was the only time I ever heard or anything like that. Oh my gosh. That must be so nice. Neither once. I mean, I catch the rhythm of the snoring and go to sleep. Oh, Garrett.

His is so incredibly much. Oh, no. Do you have your hugs? No, but I have to like kick him over or roll him. Dude, I just imagine Garrett snoring, like the house shaking. Let me tell you. He is a man. He has had one too many.

drinks. It is ridiculous. Oh, yeah. You need earplugs. Like, really good ones. Not like little ones that they give you on the plane. There's like a brand on Amazon. You really need... The ones that you, like, shove it. Yeah. Garrett, I love you, I promise. Snoring isn't embarrassing. No, no, no. No. Okay, last one. Who is the better driver?

One, two, three. Jared. All right. You guys, I know. I don't even know how to... You tie. You tie. We'll just. Give each other massages. What that means is 30 minutes. 30 minutes each. Let's get crazy in here. Drop a drink stuff in here. That means 30 minutes each for a massage. You're welcome both.

You should be our therapist. I thought, well. But anyways, you guys, thank you so much for being so open and honest on the podcast. It's truly been a pleasure to have you both here. That means you have to come back, right? It's so fun. Because we have to return the favor and go to their podcast. You guys are more than welcome to come on, help I suck at dating.

Myself and Dean Ungler, it's a grand old time. They have some real podcast pride. Because now you're married and Dean is in a good relationship. Well, he gets good advice, but you keep saying Dean's last name. And Dean was on my season and I was like, is that how you say this thing? Unglerke. Unglerk. I guess I never said it.

It's like every girl wants to marry Dean, no girl wants to take his last name. I'm big on last name. I actually agree. Kaelin Unglert. Yeah, it doesn't roll off the tongue. I'll tell you that much. Miller Keys is so cute. It is cute.

And let me say about the suck part, everybody. sucks at dating, guys. I actually think I'm a great dater. See, you should come on the podcast. I like, I was a serial date. And then you'll prove that you're a great dater because then you'll just outsmart Dean and I was a serial dater. I enjoyed

dating and going and meeting new people. Rachel just liked her dinner to get paid for. Yeah, that is nice. That's too. Like, okay, it's not in the budget. Let me go on this day. Did you do like the, did you ever do the fake reach? Like, would you, or like when you went on date, the guy paid? No, I didn't fake read. You know what to do. No, I didn't fake

each at all. High five. Jared is turned off by the idea that I would not ever fake reach, especially not the first two dates. No. Well, the first day, I just, I'm, obviously, I'm paying. He appreciates a fake reach. I know. We're going way off topic. We could probably sit in this room for hours.

Okay, yes, people have to go home. People have places to be, but thank you guys for being here. Loved having you. Thank you for having us. We will return the favor. Yes. Thank you guys. And thank you guys for listening.

We've got so much more to come. So many great guests. You get this only on Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome.

Avoidance is easier, ignoring is easier, denials easier, complex problem solving, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. When your car is making a strange noise, no matter what it is, you can't just pretend it's not happening. That's an interesting sound. It's like your mental health.

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