Bachelor Happy Hour - Astrid Loch Discusses Pregnancy Struggles and IVF Journey

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Bachelor Nation’s Astrid Loch, who found love with Kevin Wendt on “Bachelor in Paradise,” opens up about her long fertility struggle and shares her excitement about her pregnancy. Astrid discusses what led them to pursue IVF and talks about the toll it took on her body. Plus, Astrid reveals the one part of her pregnancy that will remain a secret. She also gives an update on her wedding plans with Kevin after they had to put their ceremony on hold due to COVID-19. Catherine Lowe is back again as co-host. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome back, happy hour listeners. Thanks for joining us again another week. And I couldn't be doing this without my great co-host, Catherine Lowe. She did an incredible job last week. And so I thought, we'll bring her on again for another week. And Catherine, before we get started, I have to just say, you're a professional at podcasting. Like, I'm not known, like, you haven't really, like, co-hosted a podcast before.

Like, you would have fooled me. You're sweet. I guess I am professional now that this is my second time. So technically I'm professional, but I have a lot to learn. So you are a great lead for me. No, but what I love about you is you just are so personal and you're just good about asking questions. And I'm so happy that we were able to have Leslie on last week. because obviously you two are girlfriends, but it just felt comfortable.

And I know I wanted to bring you on another week because I just had a feeling you would be the exact same way for any guests that we bring on, which we're going to actually get into very soon. We have an incredible woman joining us today, a very special guest with Astrid Locke. But before we do that, Catherine, how have you been in this past week? How are you feeling? Have you received any feedback from Sean or friends' family from you co-hosting with me last week? Yeah, I mean, it's been, I was really, really excited.

to do that. I thought that having Leslie, as somebody that I felt comfortable with, we had, I mean, we had so much stuff to talk about with Leslie. And like, I'm sure, like you said last time, we could even do more because she's such a dynamic person. And I just, I loved it. There was good feedback. Um, I know that Sean was really happy. And we just, I'm just excited to hear more about what Leslie's doing, not just personally, but through the whole, her whole social and her trips. And she's now in Hawaii so that'll be fun but yeah I'm just excited to be part of this and I love talking to you I love talking to other people so this is just a perfect scenario for me I'm really excited for more I well I'm excited for more with you because I have to tell you this and it's it's something that I wanted to tell you

last week and it just I mean we just talked about so much that it's looked my mind but so the first season of the bachelor or bachelor that my mom ever watched was actually Sean's season and she fell in with you right away. And I'm not just saying this because you're here. Like she to this day, even before you co-hosted with me last week, she would always still bring you up. And she's like, how is Sean and Catherine? She was still my favorite. And so the fact that that you did this with me, she called me right after. She's like, I can't wait to listen in and hear all that she has to say. So I think it's something really special, not just for me, but like, I mean, and Rachel and I mentioned this like almost every episode is that the show just brings people together in such a weird

way and I feel like it's a really unique way that now is kind of bringing my mom back into the Bachelor Nation with you because she she loves you so much. What's your mom's name? Her name is Jill. Oh Jill. Oh Jill. I love you Jill. That's so sweet. Shout out to Jill. Shout out to Jill. Well, now she really has to listen to this episode. But one thing that I've been talking to some of my girlfriends about in the past week is that, I mean, there's so many podcasts out there. And there's especially so many bachelor-related podcasts. And I mean, especially so many people within the franchise have gone on to do their own podcast. So I think it's something really special for us that we still have such a good follower base and people that support

us and listen to us weekly. No matter who the guests is that have stuck by us, and I think that's something really special. Shout out to not only Jill, but to all of our listeners out there who tune into us each week. And it, you know, we couldn't be here and do this without you. And so I, that's just something that crossed my mind within this past week of like, we're really lucky to be doing this with so much, you know, not that it's competition, but so much competition out there. Um, so yeah. And I'm, I'm just reaping the benefits of what you guys set up. So I'm just excited that we have you on. Um, and with that, you guys, I'm so excited to have Astrid on today because she is,

friend from a far. I've only met her once in person, but I feel like we're kindred spirits, if you will. You may remember her. She was on Nick's season several years ago, but then you also probably most remember her and Kevin, because they met on the beaches of Paradise a couple seasons ago and fell in love. They didn't have the most traditional ending on Paradise. They actually left kind of broken up and then rekindled post-Paradise, but they are now engaged. And they just have some major news that they shared with the world this past weekend. So without further ado, please welcome our great guest today, Astrid Lock. Well, welcome Astrid. I'm so glad you could join us today. And I feel like

Rachel and I have raved about you when we used to record. And obviously, you two are good friends. And then you and I, I mean, we've met once, but I am so thrilled to have you on because we have so much to talk about to get caught up on. But before we get into everything, you have some major news that you just shared with the world. So do you want to just dive into that? I did. Yeah, we're pregnant. We're expecting her first little baby went, which is so exciting. I feel so good to finally say it out loud because we knew like eight days after, you know, the transfer. So it's been a really long road to not tell everyone. Yes, I can imagine. And we are so incredibly thrilled for the both of you. As you're talking right now, I know that you guys are living in Canada.

You kind of sound like you're picking up some sort of Canadian accent. I think I am. I think I am a little bit, which I love because I'm from the Midwest, so it kind of feels like home a little bit. So I love it. So I just want to get in because, you know, obviously we saw you and Kevin meet on Bachelor in Paradise a couple years ago. And though you didn't get engaged on Paradise, you did get engaged after. So tell us what life has been like since that, since you guys left the beach, you moved in together. Give us the rundown of your life. I mean, well, pre-COVID, I feel like we were all over the place just traveling. Like, I feel like before I'm, met Kevin, I used to always say, I just want to meet someone who has similar interests as me

and just wants to explore the world, visit all of these places until we're like in our 30s and then we'll settle down and we'll have kids. And so we were doing that for a while and then everything just kind of shut down. But it worked out great because we sold her condo. We bought a new town home. We've renovated that over the last few months. So we've just been busy kind of making our little nest since, you know, everything's still closed here. And so, I know that you had mentioned you guys had started the wedding planning process. Obviously, COVID hit. So, you know, since things are starting to open up a little bit more, I don't know how much they are in Canada. Have you guys thought any more about wedding plans when, where details are

on that? So we moved, we postponed the wedding to November 19th of this year. Okay. And I'm now due November 18th. Heaven Day, I can give birth and get married for hours. I'm saying, So we're postponing it again until October of 2022. Okay. See, I feel like I need a whole year. Like, I don't know what it's going to be like. It's, this is my first baby. He's like, we can get married in the spring.

I'm like, no. I don't understand. What a sweet man. You don't want to do two birds with one stone and one weekend. The family and friends will already be there. He, I'm really scared about what's going to happen with him because he doesn't really fully understand what it's like to have. baby like he's talking about going to the super goal with a newborn. I'm like it doesn't really work like that. They have to get their shots. Like they can just be out and about like even take their

babies to the grocery store in the beginning. Like we have to just like take it easy and plan travels with a new boy please. God bless him. I mean, Catherine, I'm sure you can speak much more to this, but I'm sure you can understand what it's like to have a newborn and probably you don't want to do anything except eat and sleep. You can do anything, really. To be honest, if you really wanted to go to the Super Bowl, obviously with potential health things like COVID continuing to happen, but you can put on some headphones on the baby and the baby will just sleep. So whatever you want to do, the baby will pretty much do however you feel about it, they really just follow your lead. So if you want to relax, then you should relax. And if he wants to go to Super Bowl, maybe he should

consider not doing it this year but you know just know it should not hold you back from doing whatever you want or just snuggling with them but how far along are you exactly from 13 weeks today oh that's such a great time second trimester starts you're going to be in a great position how did you feel the first trimester i was i was so tired like i had heard my friends talking about how exhausted you are i didn't realize that i would be like a zombie like i'm don't nap i need to nap every single day and like we were in lockdown so it kind of worked out because I was just in like sweatpants and couldn't really go anywhere but I'm like how are people working like 40 hour weeks like nurses on their feet like I don't understand because I literally can't function and

I was nauseous but I didn't throw up so it wasn't too bad and then I had to do um progesterone oil shots because they just wanted to like still pump me full of all of the good hormones to make sure the baby was taken there. So that was honestly the worst part because the oil just goes in really difficult. So I just had lumps and bruises on a while. But I'm done with those too. Which I do want to get into all of that because I, you know, I kind of can relate to the injection part of things because I froze my eggs, which we'll get into. But don't they call trimester to the glory days? Is that what it's referred to as where it's like you don't, you have a little been more energy. You're not, you know, as nauseous. It's just, you kind of feel back to your normal self. So is

that how you're feeling now, Astrid? Yeah. I'm like back to normal. I'm working out again, like the first trimester. Like I couldn't get on the bike now. I feel like I'm getting back. Not often. I'm still using it as an excuse, but I was like crying every day. Do you, are you the type of couple that wants to find out the sex of the baby or do you want to be totally surprised? I was going to wait. You're going to. It's been, like, from when we met, Kevin always said he wants to wait to find out the gender. And I used to tell him he's crazy. We're not doing that.

His brother did it with all three of their kids. But then I think after going through all the struggles trying to get pregnant and then it was so much planning and everything was on a schedule and like nothing was a surprise. Like it's like, okay, today they're putting a baby in me in eight days. I'm going to know if it worked or not. But I feel like this is the one thing we can still. be surprised about so i agree to you waiting to find out you guys are that's what sean and i did for all three kids and there's you can never be surprised like that so i'm super excited for you guys it's going to be such a good day wait do you have an inkling so katherine when you were pregnant with

all three children did you have an inkling of if it was going to be boy or girl for any of them and they were all like the exact same pregnancy so i thought after having two boys i thought Mia would be a boy because of just it was super easy pregnancies. So do you think, do you know, Ashton, what do you think? I'm kind of thinking, girl, but I think it's because I like all the girl names better than boynames. I was like hoping. I did my, um, and T scan the other day and saw like such good imagery of it. The baby looks like Kevin. Like it has like his head, his like four. That could probably be a girl that looks like Kevin. But so when I looked at the last ultrasound, I kind of saw Kevin.

So then it made me think, well, maybe it's a boy. But I honestly, I have no idea. So speaking of names, what are some that you liked? Or do you want to share? Or do you want it to be a complete surprise to the world? Like, Kevin won't even let me tell my mom. Like I told him to tell everyone everything. He's like, don't even tell your mom.

I don't want to hear somebody doesn't like something. Exactly. They should not have an opinion. That is so you. Because then they can't not like it when you have a baby, a beautiful new baby. with that name. Even if it's a silly name, you're like, well, you can't make fun of it now. It's the baby's name. Yeah. My mom has a really bad accent. So her only request is just that she can pronounce it. She's like, just don't say something that can't say. I'm like, okay.

And there's something to be said to that like, and obviously, you know, hello, I'm not a mom. So I don't know what it feels like to hold that like my own newborn. But I feel like there's something to be said for when you first look at that child and you maybe have a few names in the mix and then you're like, oh, you're a this or you're a that or I thought you were to be this, but you're definitely not. So maybe, you know, maybe that'll help once you're holding the newborn, but how exciting. I cannot wait. I want to get into, you know, and you've been very open and honest and you've shared your infertility struggles with the world. So first, I want to commend you on your bravery and speaking out. I can only imagine how much of a resource and of just a

help and like a shining beacon you were to other women going through something similar or who maybe haven't gone through it yet, but might be, you know, wanting to plan a family in the short term. So thank you for just sharing your story because I personally think it's incredible. I mean, side note, I froze my eggs in October and that's obviously not even anything compared to this, but just the amount of women in my DMs saying, thank you for sharing this. It's not even something I thought about or knew about or it's something that I've been wanting to do and you just helped me along. I can imagine you're getting that tenfold.

It's so overwhelming. Like I could just cry. Like I can't even look at it because I'm so emotional with all the hormones as is that like I'm trying to read and then I have to put my phone down for a little bit because it's just like it feels so heavy. And you know like we obviously struggled and trying to get pregnant. But there's people who have struggled less and then there's people who have struggled so much more.

So it's so hard because really truly every single person's. journey is so unique. No two people are like, and I remember my first visit at the fertility clinic, I like joke to Kevin. I'm like, wow, like some of these people have like really, really big folders. And then like months and months into it, it kept mine kept getting bigger and bigger. I'm like, okay, my shirt is really growing. Like this really has to like work at some point.

But it's definitely not talked about enough. And I think I saw a lot of pregnancy announcements while we were trying in. I felt really sad every time. And then I felt like a bad person for not being happy for somebody else getting pregnant because I should be happy for them, but I couldn't help but to be sad for myself. So I just didn't want to come out and say we're pregnant without sharing what went into it. But like I wasn't brave enough to share it while we were going through it because I was too anxious. Kevin was too anxious that it took us finding like having good news to be able to even talk about.

So what was the catalyst that made you want to finally end up sharing it with the world? Was it just because, you know, you probably knew and understood struggles that other women were going through? Or what was that push to get you to not only share this pregnancy announcement, which is incredible in itself, but to share the entire process and what you guys went through? You know, it was, I followed this one girl and she's like kind of like an influencer too, I guess. And she shared like really nonchalantly that both of her kids had been IV. And I remember thinking like, oh, I had no idea if I would have like, you know, like you just see people on social media and they just have these perfect little lives, perfect little kids, like just the cutest. But I didn't realize that it took her those struggles to get there. And it made me think, okay, like when we get there, I want people to know from the beginning that we got pregnant through IVF.

just to be transparent and share your life with the people that follow you and as like the community and support change like what does that look like for people following you've been getting really positive messages I'm assuming oh my god so many I mean like Kevin and I are talking we're like trying to figure out a way to raise money because I think we've also realized throughout it like we're very fortunate you know like when the conversation about IVF came up it was like okay this and we didn't have to necessarily think twice about how are we going to budget this out and like where's this coming from. And I have a friend who's been going through this and she did a couple IUIs, which are like way less expensive. It's like I think six to seven hundred bucks. What's IUI?

IUI is where they just like take the sperm and they put it in a catheter and they just like put it up while you're ovulating. So they'll still track your cycle to figure out when you're ovulating, but instead of like having your eggs that they've already retrieved in the sperm and making the embryo, they're still just putting the sperm in through a catheter. So it's a lot less invasive. Like you can still be on meds and all of that. And we've tried that twice before moving on to IVF. But I had a friend who did one round of IVF and then they couldn't afford to do a second round. So they have to go back to IUI. And she ended up getting pregnant actually through the IUI. So like it turned out to be like, very excited. But we realize there's a lot of people that are struggling with this and they're not in a position to maybe act on it as quickly as we were able to. So you said you're raising money? We want to. Yeah. Like we're trying to like come up with the best way to do it. Like we don't know if we should find an organization or if we should just do like one of those crowd funds or whatever it's called and just like I'm trying to pick a couple families or what we can do. But that is so

kind. He wanted to do something. It's just, it shouldn't be this expensive. And insurance should help you. I don't understand how this is not covered or at least partially covered. Well, I think that now that people are speaking up about it, hopefully it does become more mainstream to ask for that or to have that be incorporated into insurance plans or I don't even know how insurance works.

But if people keep talking about it and have the courage to make it known that it's a bigger deal, than used to be, then hopefully that's the way it goes. Sure. I want you to talk a little bit about, for our listeners who maybe aren't super familiar with the entire process of IVF, kind of, you know, there's so much that goes into that people don't even fathom and understand. So can you talk about the process a little bit, like start to where you are at now and what that entire process during looks like?

Yeah. So we tried for 12 months naturally. and then Kevin he you know like he struggled with anxiety and so every month it was always like something's wrong with me something's wrong with me and like it was eating away at him so when we hit the 12 month mark he was like okay they say after 12 months coach up fertility clinic I was like I don't think I'm ready I just wasn't ready for to like give up on my body or to feel like I didn't want someone to tell me what was wrong like I was like ignorance is bliss but so he pushed me to go into the clinic and it was the best thing we did. But it's very time consuming. I think it's like the biggest thing that people don't realize. So when you start menstruating on day two or three, you go in and

you start with your blood work, your ultrasound, seeing the doctor, the meds. And then you're in there every two to three days to monitor until it's time for you to ovulate. So you're in there for three, four hours every two to three days. And it's just, it's exhausting because you're a emotional because you're on meds and you're just there you just don't want to be there and we're doing it in the middle of COVID so Kevin couldn't come you're just sitting there in a waiting room just like why is this so difficult you know and then it's just a very exhausting process can you talk a little bit about so you obviously have to give yourself injections and and correct me if I'm wrong at least when I was going through the egg freezing they they warned me they're like okay when you

start giving yourself to these injections. It's basically going to take your body from, you know, zero, not pregnant, to about four months pregnant in the span of a couple of weeks. So your hormones fluctuate, you're going to be up and down and you're going to get bloated and you're going to have all these side effects. Did you experience a lot of that? And like, how did you feel knowing, like your body changing so quickly because of the hormones and these injections? The hormones were insane. Like, I was like a fall on. psychopaths like i would just get mad of nothing and start fighting and be like okay like you're i understand you're on hormones but you also just can't be crazy yeah kevin you try pumping

yourself for all these drugs okay but no they're they're really really intense and like when you're in the clinic i think they're so used to seeing so many women that they're like yeah you might have some mood swings it was not a mood swings It was full-on rage. Like, they were just, like, screaming in the car. And it was like, I'm like, why am I screaming? Oh, wow. Like, nothing happened.

But it's like, it couldn't control it. Mm-hmm. So that was, it was okay for me. It was probably just terrible for Kevin because he was kind of walking the eggshells a little bit. But the bloating for me was really, really bad actually with the retrieval. I don't know if it was the same for you. Yes. I think part of my problem, too, was working out a lot, being slim.

I think that was part of why maybe I didn't have as many eggs. So when I had to do the retrieval, they put me on this, like, crazy high fat diet where like I was just eating like cheese and chips and like, oh, the things I love, but I don't like my kind of diet. And it's like, I just wanted a smoothie, like, and I couldn't drink water for a couple days. Like, I was only allowed to drink Gatorade because... Same. What?

What? Build up. So you can't drink water because you want the salt to build up. Yep. Just drinking Gatorade for fun. You're just like, you see yourself, like, blowing up. I was like a balloon. And it's just so painful because you can't even suck in.

You're literally, like, balloon. And you're looking at yourself, and you're like, all I want is a baby. And I literally look like I have a baby. But there's no baby inside of me. And I'm just really... uncomfortably bloated. Yeah. So I think that was for me probably the worst part was the post retrieval. They probably gave you during retrieval the same, because they don't do it for everyone I know, but they gave it to me to, same thing, where they're like, you can only drink Gatorade's for

a couple days. And it was, I feel your pain. It was miserable. It was, you know, like, it doesn't sound that bad. I'm sure to our listeners, you're like, oh, whatever, it's Gatorade. Cool. No, it gives you like hot in mouth you just feel like you're only getting sugar and sultan and just i i feel your pain and like the fact like the bloating you're like when is this going to go down it's just the most uncomfortable thing so i feel your pain and like you are a strong-ass woman for going through that never drink i'm never drinking gatorade again oh i have no desire like how is this what they gave like give kids after soccer game this is terrible i wonder like the science and the and like all the things that they had to figure out that women should not have water during this

process like that is fascinating stuff like i am learning so much right now this is really cool so obviously there's so many ups and downs that come with this this process what were some ways that helped you cope throughout it all um i read a lot especially at the clinic because I was there for so much. Like I went through some really great books. And I feel like that was kind of kidding me saying and making the time pass. I think for us, like the part that sucked was that it was during COVID too, right? So I couldn't have my family come visit.

You can't do anything. So for the last four and a half months, we've been in like full lockdown again here in Toronto. And all I do is go to the grocery store and the doctor. So it's kind of hard to pass the time. but we went on a lot of walks. So I feel like Ace was my little emotional support animal. We watched a lot of true crime stuff.

A woman after my own heart. You know, like it was just true crime walks until I did the transfer. I was drinking a good amount of wine. I probably should have been because I'm like there's really nothing else to do. And I'm hoping to get pregnant and then I'll have to be sober for nine months. But we just try to distract yourself the best. like the best that we could. God, you sound like a woman after my own heart.

This is why I know I love you, true crime, wine, dogs, all of the things. So like once you finally have this baby and the world is open up again, I'm coming to Canada. I'm hanging out with you. Kevin can be on baby duty for a hot second. So when you were going through this, obviously it was during COVID, so you couldn't see family and friends. Were they aware that you were undergoing this?

Or did you guys kind of just keep it between the two of you? So we kind of kept it to ourselves. Because we didn't want the added pressure of people then asking us about it, you know, because you're just so emotional while you're going through it that in like, hormones and everything. I like, I couldn't imagine somebody saying the wrong thing to me on the wrong day. I didn't want to like take it out to people.

And then my mom's been ready for a grandchild for so long that like we didn't tell our moms until we, um, we're starting IV stuff. So that was like a year and a half probably into everything. And it was after I had the ectopic pregnancy that I was like, okay, I feel like I need to tell my mom this. I feel like this is like a major medical thing that happened.

She should know. And then she was like ready to go doing Reiki on me and all things. I'm not sure you're going to say it wasn't the medicine. It was the Reiki. The internal healing. But so, yeah, I told my very best friend. And she was kind of like my therapist because the hard part, too, is that when I was having bad days, I didn't want to tell Kevin about it because I didn't want to have his good day

turn into a bad day because I was having a bad day. So, and he couldn't come to the clinic. So I had about a 25-minute drive there and back every time I went. So I always just called my best friend. And sometimes she'd just complain about her husband, which was a great distraction. Other times I talk about the IVF stuff. Other days, we just, you know, gossiped or whatever. so that was kind of she really was like a huge part in keeping me saying throughout all of it

good i'm glad that you had somebody and i love that you said this about you know it's like it's just a testament to the solid relationship that you and kevin have where you didn't necessarily want to ruin his day or make his days worse and i'm sure vice versa you know it's all about give and taking a balance so i'm glad that you still had some some people that you could go to and talk to that could kind of help cope you through this entire process. I mean, it's difficult for him in a different way because at least it's happening to my body, right? So I'm at every appointment. I'm talking to the doctor and I can feel everything that's happening. Even when we were just trying naturally, it's like, I knew my body and it's like, okay,

I think my period is coming on to where he just was in the dark, right? Like, he's just waiting just a guy. Just what's going on? And like, you know, he'd be so cute about like, I'd be like, my veins are kind of sore like I think I'm getting my period he goes they could be sore because you're pregnant he doesn't know there's the difference between the two like you just know when you're getting your period but I felt back for him because he couldn't come and talk to the doctor and he couldn't be there and he couldn't feel everything that was happening so he's just like also didn't want to ask me at the wrong time of what was going on right when when you guys found out was it together was it like a call what happened when you found out you were

pregnant. So I found out at like 4.30 in the morning, like I couldn't sleep. And I had set out to pregnancy tests the night before because like I had read everywhere on like forums and stuff. Like wait at least eight days, even though the doctor said wait till 14 days, come in, do the blood work. Do not be on a pregnancy test because you can have a, you know, like it can be negative, but there could just not be enough HCG detected in it yet. So like don't take it. And And then if it's negative, you're just going to be upset. Just wait. And I'm like, I can't do that.

I bought like six tests. And I don't pay it. And so I woke up one morning at like four o'clock and I just tossed and turned. And then like I looked at the clock. I'm like, okay, screw it. Like I'm going to go take the test because then if it's negative, like he's sleeping, I can just like go back to sleep and like pretend I didn't take it. And when it turned positive, I like sprinted to the back.

He was like, oh my God, what's going on? are you okay? I was like, we're pregnant, it's positive. And like, hugging and shaking. And then at like 5 a.m., he went downstairs to the kitchen and made a whiskey shower and, like, he got obliterated, basically. Because I think finally, it was just like all the tension just got to go away. He's like, okay, I need a drink. So we like heard bagels and coffee and he had a whiskey and we called her moms by like 6 a.m. That's so sweet. I love that visual.

That's so cute. He like went to the, like that's when dads are supposed to do that when the baby's born. They like the cigar and a drink or something. He went, he went nine months early on that. Something to take the edge off. I get it.

Well, and for all of our listeners who haven't yet checked out your, because I mean, you've wrote a whole blog post about this. I think it was with people, correct? With people, yeah.

Yeah. So please go check out Astrid's Instagram because she links it there. I mean, you, you wrote it so well, and I can't wait to follow along. I hope that there's more blog posts to come because I just, I mean, every month. Okay, good. Because I personally, like, I mean, I love you and I'm so invested in this baby now and this journey for you, this new journey, if you will. But for our listeners or any woman who is out there who is struggling with their fertility, what is some advice that you would give to them? I think my biggest advice would be not to take no for an answer, you know, like if you have a doctor and you're not getting a good vibe or like someone's telling you like, it's too early, don't worry yet.

Like, no, they don't get to decide when it's too early with your body and with your journey and when you want to have a kid, you know, I mean, same as when you throws your eggs. I have so many women messaging me being like, I don't have a partner yet, but I know. I want to have kids, but how do I know if something's wrong? There is a doctor out there in everyone's city who will take you and who will make sure everything is okay or at least look to see if there's something you could be doing so then you can plan on that, you know, because we're having kids later now. Like we're all focused on our careers and a million other things and traveling the world. Not like when my mom had me at 21 years old, right?

And as a woman, your body just changes the older you get. it's just biology. It just happens that way. So just advocate for yourself and don't take no for an answer. And there is always a doctor who when you hear bad news, they're thinking of the next thing that you can do in order to hopefully get good news. I want to ask you this because this actually came up on our podcast last week with our last guest, Leslie. I mean, and she just had her precious little girl, you know, entered this world. But she, underwent some genetic testing prior to her and her partner getting pregnant and for different reasons. But is that something that when you began IVF that you and Kevin did?

We did the genetic testing on our embryos. So when I did the retrieval, I got 13 eggs. They mixed that with the sperm. And then you like have to wait five to six days to see if they grow into like the good stage to even be transferable. So out of those. 13 fertilized eggs. We ended up getting six embryos that would have been okay to transfer. And because we had, so our doctorate told us, if you just have one or two, like we just transfer those and we hope for the best.

But because we had six, she recommended we get them DNA tested. So we did that and that takes like two weeks to come back. And then out of those six, actually only three of them were good enough embryos that they would want to even transfer. So they froze those three. And then when my body kind of went through the cycle and a half again to where it was ready, they just

bought one out. And that's what they ended up transferring. And then we just have two more in the freezer. Just ready. Oh, nice. Eggs are nice. So you just transferred one embryo. Yeah, we just transferred one. Okay, okay. But if you did three, you could have triplets potentially, or is that not how that works? Yeah, but that just sounds really scary. Sounds very tiring right now. Gosh, I like, and we set this on the podcast last week. Science is incredible and the fact that they can test these six embryos to know what ones will take the best and, you know, probably have longevity. It just baffles my mind. Like these little miracle babies. I think it's incredible. The science is crazy. Like even when we're doing the IUI stuff and they were like testing Kevin's sperm and then they were like telling me how many they were putting in.

I was like, what do you mean there's 50 million? Like yeah. Crazy. thanks but that's how many sperm men have like and he was like very proud he was like I'm probably like one go around wait I want to ask you this so out of the three that they were like okay these ones are good to go how did you pick were you like okay any mini money mo type thing or in the states you can pick if you like they'll tell you you have two boys one girl which one do you want to transfer, it's illegal in Canada. So they legally cannot even tell you what gender they transferred until, I think, week 11. Okay. So the lab just picked out the one that was genetically the best. So I'm sure I'm going to get like an athlete or like a scientist or like something really

grand. That is awesome. All the money that this is hot. Yeah. Genetically the best. We're expecting big things out of you baby went. Big things. Have you guys started on a nursery or anything fun getting ready for him or huh? No, so our nursery is the gym right now. So we're going to like try to keep at the gym for as long as possible just because everything here's. I mean, it's getting warm around, but like we like our Peloton and we like to have that room. So his parents, um, his dad is like such a handyman. He's like fixed a bunch of stuff in this house for us.

So we're going to wait until they come in August and just have them like, do. it all like wallpaper build a closet do like do it all okay oh that's a cute family project yeah i love that well you never know if this baby's going to be an athlete or like a world fitness olympian like trainer olympian just the gym you know will be its place um have you know i know i know that you just announced this a few days ago so i'm sure it's like so much to take in but has anyone i'm sure you've gotten some wild dms like what's this the most questionable advice that somebody has sent to you thus far you know what we told people we don't want to find out the gender and i don't know why everybody feels the need to tell me what i'm

having like they're like i posted an ultrasound and everyone's like it's a boy it's a girl and like there's nothing to see like i know you guys all have theories based on pendulums you swing over your belly and crazy stuff but it's like i told you i don't want to know so i don't understand why you're telling me boy or a girl because obviously don't know what we want. I'm sure there's also people who are like psychics out there and they're like, oh, it's a girl. And you're like, again, I don't want to know, but thank you. Also, you're guessing on a 50-50 chance, you know? Like, right. Well, Catherine, I'm glad that we have you on because I obviously can't give any parenting advice unless it's with a dog. But is there any advice that you would give to Kevin and Astrid at this point as they're

prepping for parenthood? Well, I would just say be present. Be present in every stage because like you know, you are blessed to be able to have a baby and do it the way that, you know, you and Kevin get to deliver a baby naturally. And it's, I mean, whatever way that people have their family plan, it's beautiful. And as long as you're present in each situation and each stage of life, you're going to get so much out of it. even in the hard stuff, even in waking up really late, be present in that because it goes by really fast. And some people really just want, they yearn it to be woken up at 2 a.m. With the baby, they yearn to change a dirty diaper. So I feel like just being present and being

appreciative of everything that happens gives you a really cool perspective throughout the whole journey. That's amazing. That's great advice. Thank you. One thing that I've heard, again, to me, but her to other expecting parents, people always say sleep when the baby sleeps. Catherine, in your experience, does that happen? I mean, you, like in your first trimester, you will be narcoleptic for sure. And when the baby needs you, it will wake you up. But no, I mean, there were so many things to do when the baby was sleeping that you're like, oh, I can finally get up and go pee and the baby's not on me or whatever. But also those things, those cuddles with the baby sleeping on you, that's a good time to be awake too because you just want

to enjoy it and savor it. And I mean, the first part of after having the baby, it's going to be such a crazy, like delirious alternate reality. But it's so loving. And if you can try to sleep when the baby sleeps, but you will be awoken constantly. Whatever. advice people tell me it's like sleep now because it's going to be over my best friend told me like if you can get one more vacation in go on vacation because you will never not be like packing for someone else or worried about grabbing yeah pregnancy is very fun i will say i pregnancy is a really cool time because it's you and the baby and it's like this special time you know you're feeding it right you know you're it's sleeping the way that it should be like you don't have to worry about it but i mean the everything about just being a mother, whatever stage that is afterwards, during, if you're going to adopt. Like, everything is such a cool experience. And like you said, everyone's story is so unique that every story is beautiful in its own way. So I'm just really excited for you guys. It's going to be so cool. You're going to be so happy. And just every, everything is going to be, I'm just so

excited for you. I am too. I am too. Well, Astrid, we have to play a game with you because we love to play a game with all of our guests. And I'm, you know, I'm sure like, like you don't have enough going on right now with growing this tiny human. We'll take it easy for the rest of this podcast. So we are going to get into this game. So Catherine, if you want to explain it to us. Yeah. Okay. So one of the funnest things about being a parent is seeing how your partner handles this new role, their new, you know, new stage of life. And so we're going to ask you some questions. And you have to tell us which parent you think the question is the answer to. So who do you think will be stricter? Me.

Which parent will spoil the baby more? Kevin. Okay. Which, or who will change the most diapers? Probably me. I'm a control freak. Not because people want to do it is because I'm a control freak. I'll be doing it wrong. You have to like start betting and like building it up. Like, you know, if you lose this bet, Kevin has to change the next seven diapers or something. So, like, if there's throw-up and when the kids throw up later in life, who can handle the throw-up, I can do, I can do poo. Only one end, only one end. Who do two?

Well, this is kind of a hard question because obviously, you know. Unless you're not breastfeeding. Yeah. I mean, whatever you choose. Yeah. Who is more likely to do 2 a.m. feedings? I would say me, I'm hoping I'll be able to breastfeed. I mean, we'll figure it out when the time comes.

But what I've heard from my friends is that sometimes breastfeeding is just like easier. It's just right there. It's just easier than getting anything else or warming up a bottle or whatever, two and a hand. That's just what I've heard. Okay. He did mention if he could breastfeed himself, he would. Well, that's a trooper. That's a good, that's a true partner right there.

It is fun, I will say. But anyways, who will sing the baby lullabies? I will Who has a better voice Between you and Kevin I don't think I've ever heard him sing Really? Not even in the shower

Okay I don't think Peter of us has a good singing voice Yeah Good enough for baby I guess The baby's gonna love it either way That wasn't part of the do game

I was just curious Who's more nervous about delivery Definitely me Yeah Who will make the baby bottles probably him who will ask the doctor more questions me because he doesn't get to come to the appointments

yeah hopefully hopefully soon I mean obviously he'll be there for delivery correct will they let him be part of any of the ultrasounds later on um not right now but um there's like the 3D ultrasound places you can go to and they usually allow one person to come with so we're gonna do some so he can come be part of it that'll be nice yeah um who will cry in the first day of school me who will teach the baby

about the birds and the bees about how mommy and daddy met and made him or her i want to hear kevin's version though for real you're the baby maybe depends on who the kid bonds with more about that kind of stuff we'll see i don't know the baby could get too wildly different stories here. I'd be interested to see. Who will show the baby more dance moves? Me. He doesn't dance and he doesn't sing. Really? That is so surprising. I know, yeah. Who will do the most baby talk? I think neither. Maybe me. I guess I do it with AIDS a little bit here and there. They respond to it. Baby talk is there for a reason, I will say. It's not just annoying for other adults it's like good for their brain or something so just know that who will be

more patient me definitely me who will take more photos you probably him him really yeah he's gonna like pictures of the dogs i can only imagine how many he's gonna take so many beautiful pictures are you sleeping with the baby on you all i'm so excited to see this terrible pictures of me and beautiful pictures of the dog i doubt that Yeah, look at a shoe. Yeah. Show me a picture of someone on Instagram the other day. I'm like, why don't you take key pictures like this of me?

And he took a picture of me and he's like, because this is what you look like? What's the time? I was like, okay, that's fair. Can we expect a baby camida? Oh my gosh, you can't talk. A baby cameo in paradise one day. Oh, maybe. Well, Kevin's the bartender for the Canadian bachelor's in paradise.

That's right. I will probably bring the baby to at least. You just get different accommodations, right? You know what I'm picturing? What's the movie? Hangover where he has baby Carlos, you know, strapped on him in the front. I can just picture Kevin, like, ripping up all the cocktails, a nice little margarita with baby went hanging there, just chilling.

This has been discussed for his bachelor's party. I'm considering the baby. I'm like, he's absolutely not with your friends. Side question. how do you feel do you think you'll have a separate baby instagram no i don't i mean for the people that do it great i don't see us like talking from the baby's perspective like we have the page with the dog and i'm sure we'll just it's that'll be like a family page just because i feel like i'm sure you guys know like instagram for me isn't as fun anymore i feel like it's more fun now that i get to

kind of talk about this kind of stuff, but they're always thinking about a campaign or this or that posting a filler picture for the next campaign. So like we have our little family page that we started with a dog, we'll post on there. And that's just like our fun one where we don't have to think about what we're doing. I get it. Well, it's like sometimes Instagram is just hard. Like it's hard to keep up your own page, let alone a dog or another human or a business, whatever it might be. It's a lot. So I totally get that. And like perfectly dressed and done up all the time. I'm like, how do you people do this?

I know. It looks exhausting. Yeah. Yeah. Especially as a new parent, I can't even imagine. But Astrid, we are so excited to follow along on you and Kevin's journey to, I can't wait to read your future blog post and to just see all of the changes that you've got to go through and share with us, whatever that might be.

And to finally welcome this little baby into the world one day is going to be absolutely incredible. So we are so thrilled. We are here to support you and whatever you need. You know, you always have friends in a place in us. So don't hesitate to reach out. And so for all of our listeners, if they don't already know where to find you or follow you, please let them know where they can go. Um, my Instagram is just asked for walk. And then Kevin's is just Kevin went, I think. Is there a C in there in there? Oh, I think there is. Yeah, yeah. I think there's a C in there. C. The Wendang is the family page.

The family affair. Well, Aster, thank you so much for joining us today. I mean, you are a busy woman. You now have so many new things added to your plate. So we appreciate you just taking the time and an hour to chat with us and fill us in on

all of this IVF journey. And I can imagine how much this has helped some of our listeners. So thank you. And you've been an absolute joy to have. thanks guys thanks for having me she's so calming she like seems so confident herself i like that i know i she's and i've only met her once but she is someone that i've heard nothing but incredible things about in bachelor nation i love when women can just talk about their bodies and not feel ashamed or like they can't say certain things in public or on the podcast like no like all of our bodies

are made up of the same things. We all go through similar things, you know, a little bit different sometimes, but we all have periods. We all, I'm sure, struggle with issues, infertility or whatever it might be. And so the fact that she is just so confident about it and can share it with all of our listeners is incredible. And I'm glad that we had her on it this time because obviously Paradise is going to be filming and airing very soon. And it's just another success story from the show from Paradise. and like her and Kevin didn't leave in the traditional manner they didn't get engaged on the show but they made it work post show and and have such a solid strong great relationship that people you know like I can look up to and so I can't wait to see boy or girl I can't wait to see hopefully this healthy little

baby brought into the world and to just hear more about her story with IVF because I think it's so important to be yeah and again to be able to speak about things like freezing your eggs or IVF it also gives people that didn't have certain experiences a better understanding of how to listen and how to talk and what verbiage to use that's not triggering or hurtful. So because you can't like before, I'm sure everybody that wasn't, nobody was talking about their troubles. So people just were like, oh, I can talk about things freely, not knowing it would hurt someone's feeling. So like Mother's Day, Tread lightly. You have to figure out, like, okay, well, some people want to be mothers. So I think there's just this, now there's a better narrative for women to really have empathy for other people that had different experiences. If you can't have a child, some people want to adopt, some people don't. So I just love hearing everybody's take on motherhood, parent, if they don't want children even. Like, it's so cool to just be able to know, hey, we're all different. We can agree to disagree on everything. And I want to hear your story. yeah and as long as they're willing to share it yeah exactly and that's what is so great i mean one of my

favorite things about this podcast is to have people on like yes it's a bachelor podcast but we don't always just have to recap the show we can have people on to swap stories and to share either similar or different scenarios of things that we're going through in life and i think it's it's really important and like that's what keeps life going right yeah i mean i went to i went to school i'm from Seattle, obviously, and I went to school at a very conservative, like, rural place. And I just heard things and learned that, you know, even though I didn't agree with certain things, they're still humans and you still talk to them the same way. So it's just refreshing to be able to have conversations, take it for what they are, and try to learn from each other. Yeah, exactly. Well said,

Catherine, that is why I have such a great co-host these weeks with me. And so thank you. you for joining again this week. And a huge thank you to Astrid for joining us and being so open with us. And for all of our listeners, thank you. As always, you guys, please keep writing to us and letting us know your thoughts. You can find us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Badge Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. And as always, if you never want to miss an episode, please subscribe to our podcast right now. You can do that on Apple Podcast, Spotify, The Wonder app, or wherever you are listening to our voices right now. Take care. Talk next week. Bye. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there.

The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe saved my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome.

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