Bachelor Happy Hour - ‘Bachelor Happy Hour’ x ‘Almost Famous’ Crossover

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

This week, it’s a “Bachelor Happy Hour” x “Almost Famous” crossover! Becca and Michelle are joined by Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti for a conversation on lessons learned in the first year of marriage, how to handle the attention that comes with joining Bachelor Nation, and, of course, excitement for Gabby and Rachel’s season premiere, plus SO much more!  Then, fresh off her trip to Iceland, Michelle takes a few minutes to share a personal update.  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search emergency internetcom, and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack,

where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. Becca and I are here today with our crossover episode with Ashley and Ben from Almost

Famous. We are so excited to be doing this with you. We did part one on Almost Famous, but now this is part two on Bachelor Happy Hour. And I think this is the first time we've had you both together on here. So welcome. Before we get into all of the fun questions. how are you both doing we're good i just got a crotch shot of ashley and i've never i was wondering i was good i didn't know what was going on the first time in five years of

that that's happened i was like i don't know what to do uh my gosh ash we're actually and i've been a team for five years and i love ash like we we've done this together every week i don't think we've ever i don't know if ash and i've ever done a different podcast. Together. I don't think we've ever done this. Yeah, that's so fun. I love that.

The first time for all. Do you ever get on each other's nerves? Like, do you guys ever fight over that five years or not really? It's weird. He probably has his moments and he's like, Jesus, I don't, this woman won't shut up. I'm trying to ask a question. She keeps asking questions. But besides that, I will say though, like, and just taking it back to a couple years ago and Ben and I were on tour together,

the, just the respect, like the level of respect and admiration that he had for you, Ashley, and the friendship that you guys had formed was something really special. Like, I remember you would call him at certain times. And I wouldn't hear what the conversation was, but it was like to ask for certain bits of advice. And I think that's something so special. And that's why I love you both. I feel like you guys have kind of paved the way together. And that's why we're so happy to have you both here, because Michelle and I can always learn from other people.

as Ashley is still giving me crotch shots. Yeah, it is true, though. I mean, we haven't really fought. I'm sure we get on each other's nerves. Not like to a point where it's like, oh, my gosh, I got to get out of here. It's like a brother's sister relationship. And I would say more than anything. And I'm just, as we get started here, I'm proud of Ashley and I.

And I hope you two do the same thing where it's five years. Like, that's a long time to work alongside anybody in this kind of space. and still like enjoy doing it, get along doing it, getting better at still doing it together. But I'm just, I'm proud of us for being able to do it, I guess. Oh, I'm proud of you, too. Cheers to you too. I wish I had a glass of wine right now. Cheers to Ashley.

I know, I'm like, I got a water bottle on a cell seat. Well, thanks. But anybody who knows Ben knows that like you couldn't be working with a more kind, understanding human. So, I mean, any issue that ever arises between the podcast or like in Bachelor Nation, he's the first person that you can just talk it out with yeah ben i don't even i don't know if i've ever met you in person only we have i've met you only like on podcast or like zoom situations but i remember coming back you were on when i was on mat's season of the bachelor i think you were

on one of the the group dates is that correct yeah and it was like one of the first group dates right i came in the house late um but all their girls went and when they came back when they came back when they came back. They weren't like, oh, my God, Matt. They're like, oh, my God, Ben. Exactly. That's what Ben has. Yeah, everybody was just so excited that Ben was on the date because he was so good. You're so sweet. Ben, I don't think I ever told you this, but when it was R's season, I think they were filming, it had to have been like the women tell all or one of the live specials that I wasn't at and I remember both well I don't want to say the names but two of my girlfriends who I'm still friends with called me because you were sitting at the same hotel as them

and you were going to this live special and so were they and they both called me at separate times we just met Ben Higgins and I think he's single he's so hot like screw Ari maybe we just go for Ben and I'm sitting there like I don't think I've ever told you this before this is very awkward right now I will say I have to throw my own story now I remember when you came to my hotel room after men tell all if that sounds scandalous but it was like a couple select guys in girls from our respective seasons came to my hotel room and ben and i were talking on the balcony and i was like i can't believe that i'm talking to the ben higgins in my like you were such a celebrity because it was so obvious you were the next bachelor and one of the most deserving bachelor's they were had okay

oh how times have changed because right before we started recording i was outside in my yard picking up dog poop with a glove on because we're getting ready to travel. The next thing I would say is, yeah, no, that is true. Things change. Maybe that was a bad example, but things do change. Michelle, half that date didn't get aired because I had so much fun doing it that I was like yelling like, go faster, faster. Because it was like a relay race. And so half the date didn't even air. So I'm glad I didn't. I left that date going, I think I just scared every single person on that date, um, because even the producers came into my room and were like, you got really intense out there. It's like, I don't know what got into me. I just had a lot of fun with it.

Oh. No, they, everyone seemed to take it as like encouragement. Everyone was very, yeah, in a good mental spot. That makes me feel better. I love this. Um, I feel like we can talk to you guys and just, just about anything and shoot this shit, but we do want to get into just some fun topics because we've all gone through this crazy world. And when we ended actually your podcast, we, we We ended talking about the upcoming season of The Bachelorette, and obviously we all recap the show. What are both of your thoughts on having the two leads? And I also want to add on to that. And for both of you, because Ashley, you've done several seasons, and you were in Paradise.

Now you're happily married from somebody that you met on the show. And Ben, you were also a lead and now happily married. What is some advice that you would give to both the women, like now as their season is about to air and then anything once it's kind of done? on and now it in the open, what would you advise for them at that point, too? Then you go first. Okay, here we go. First thing is, how do I feel about two bachelorette? I originally did not like the idea.

I think for very similar reasons why everybody else didn't love the idea. You're sharing this moment with somebody else, and that's a hard place to put anybody into, especially when this thing is brand new. I also didn't know how I was going to play out. So in my season of the bachelorette, there were two bachelorette. There were two bachelorette's at the beginning. And I think it was an experiment that didn't go well. And as a cast member, it didn't feel great either because you just don't know these people.

And like, how am I supposed to make a decision on night one with two people that are very different that I know nothing about? And so I was concerned, in summary, about this season, because how are you supposed to date and explore and walk through life with somebody for this short period of time? Well, at the same time, there's somebody else on the other side. So if things go bad, you can just be like, oh, sorry, well, I'm moving on. From what I hear from the two bachelorets themselves, I'm more now excited and comfortable and, like, ready to watch how this plays out. They feel, it feels like however it was done, it was healthier than what I expected. So that's kind of all I could say right now is I am intrigued or excited to watch and less cautious about this just feels like another season. that is going to kind of backfire and be a really awkward conversation for us to have on these podcasts

and try to navigate, like, how to do it. The next, I would say, is what advice do I have for them? I think it's two pieces. One, have a lot more fun with it than you even think you're willing to have because this is a unique experience in life. And it's going to be stressful. It's going to feel so serious and it is serious at times. So when the moments where you're like, you can feel like, hey, I'm enjoying this. Soak it up.

Like look around you. Breathe in. Like breathe in the media and the New York tours and all of that stuff because it does go away. And it should go away. But while you're in it, like, enjoy the opportunity you have. And then move on would be my next piece of advice. Like maybe not from the franchise. You know, I'm still a part of this franchise.

It's been good to me. I have a unique story where it's been good to me overall. But move on. um we we've all been asked to be on a dating show uh we for some of us we have different star power right we can host things better or we uh our creators and like this will open up a whole new lane of opportunities but this the fame will fade the celebrity does fade it should fade nobody's meant to be famous and then like enjoy that ride too of going back to whatever life looked like before a little bit um and be okay with that and know it happens to everybody would be

how I close this is know that every single person, no matter if they think they're not going to or not, they've been the lead of the show. They've got off the show and felt like a rock star. They have been a rock star. And then over time, there's a new person. There's a new year. There's a new thing come. And it goes away. And just know that you aren't alone in those moments where it feels like everything else fades. That would be my advice. I think that's the only thing that I could say that would be helpful, would be just enjoy all of it. That's actually probably some of the best advice that I've heard, just really embracing, like, the experiences as it comes, like build up, filming the show, airing the show, you know, post show finale, everything, and then, like, truly moving on. Because, yeah, nobody's meant to be famous.

Doesn't that sound like a quote? That's what I was going to say. I think some people out there are denied that statement. I know it was meant to be famous. That was really deep. I know. But it's so solid. It's kind of, it's like the same way that we all age and grow and get older and get wrinkles and gray hair.

It's like when you're young, you never think that's going to happen to you and you think you're going to be this way. And then everyone goes through and experiences those fears. And it's, we all go through it. We all get older. It's, I love both of those bits. Ashley, what about you? I feel like I can never like speak after Ben in those moments. And I will say that my story on The Bachelor.

has been so unique that I don't even know if I could give advice to especially like a lead because Jared and I got so much time without the spotlight on us to build a friendship and we were able to just create such a solid foundation because we were never in a committed relationship on TV. We never left with that. So I mean that's really that my probably best advice is maybe to leave and just take the time to get to know each other, remember that you really are still dating, even if you do have a ring on your finger. And to reiterate what Ben said, it's all about soaking in those moments that are so surreal. And they're still surreal to this day. And I still can't believe sometimes that, like, I am where I am, like, if I'm on the

set of something, seven years, almost eight years after starving this whole thing. And it's like, This is so cool. I can't believe. I'm here. I still can't believe it. And every time, I think it's going to be your last time. Yeah. One day it will be and you won't even know.

Well, so, Ashley, that's actually a good segment into what I want to ask you because, like you just said, your story with Jared is a little bit unconventional. And you guys met on Paradise, but taking it back to that day, you know, going back down. Okay, I have a two-part question. So going back down the day that you actually got engaged on the beaches of paradise, once again, A, did you ever expect that you two would be going down there together and leaving together and having that special unique bonding moment? Like, was that something you ever foresaw? And then when he actually proposed, did you have any idea that it was happening that day? Okay. So I am such a positive person and everybody you'll be like, you totally manifested your being your husband so when people say can you imagine that like yeah i could i did i imagine that and then we especially got together i was like i hope this happened to paradise because what a cool full circle moment so even though we had like times where i definitely was like i guess it's not him i guess he's just not my person those times were like far and few between and they before you know it i mean back to being like yeah we're going to end up

together one day. I just don't know how. It's just like so weird. Like, why are we boyfriend and girlfriend, but we don't touch. It's basically always that. That's how we described our relationship. Um, so yeah, I'm not like shocked. That isn't it all unfolded that way. And that day I was like 50-50. I was getting my nails done. By 50-50 if you thought he was going to propose or not. Yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry. I thought you said 50-50, like if you were going to say yes or not. No, no, no. Whether or not. There was no way she wasn't saying, yes. I mean, she could have been like, I'm playing hard to get, you know?

So I was like getting my nails done that week of, and I was telling the nail tech. I'm like, listen, this might be my engagement manicure. So I really need this to be good. My sister sat next to me and she was like, can you make sure it's this shape? Because I know nothing when it comes to that stuff. So I just kept going back and forth and asking anyone. you would have insight. I was like, mom, dad, has he asked you? And everybody had the straightest face. They're like, Ashley, you're insane. Like, no. Jade and Tanner were so good because I had

he had dinner with them the night before. And Jaron went to the bathroom and I interrogated them. And they're like, listen, it's not happening now. But it'll happen with the next six months. That's what happens. And you say yes to marriage. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds. A little Dawson crying and I bring him over here right now. But yeah, that's pretty much it. I was, I definitely 94. This is it not happening. It's happening is it happening.

It's how I picture Ashley as she steps away to get her baby here. I've always pictured Ashley up until the day of her wedding, having, you know, she was the type of girl who had posters all over her room of every boy band known to man. She loved Jared so much. If you knew her back in the day, you knew that she loved Jared. and like made it very clear to everybody how much she loved Jared behind the scenes she made it clear I have a feeling that like I always had this idea that she went back to her room and like drew out a game plan on a piece of paper of how she was going to get Jared um how she was going to get him to fall in love with her and like manifested it and like prayed over that piece of

paper for weeks until the day he finally did because yeah yeah exactly like something creepy Yeah, something weird here going on. We need Ash's manifestation powers. I think everyone needs like a little. We need to like bump shoulders with her, have it rub off on us a little bit. Absolutely, because clearly I'm not doing it correctly. Yeah, one day.

One day, you'll figure it out. Yeah, you'll figure it out. That's awesome though. I can't even know, Ashley, this has all been really amazing to kind of just see how this has all come about. Yeah. I do have a question.

The fact that, like, this is just going to show how good you are at, like, just life manifesting. I mean, you're on a podcast right now talking about your engagement, how you manifested all this, and then you're, like, feeding the offspring that all this created. But you wore stilettos down the beach for this engagement. How the baby's on board. So how the heck did you do that? I wasn't even thinking, like, oh, I'm going to be walking through the sand. I thought we were giving on a date card.

And if you've been in a paradise, you're like, oh, I'll be in the rose ceremony, palapa, I'll be in the beach area. Didn't think I was going to be taking a walk down memory lane literally on the beach. Yeah. And I think when you're not there for a few years, you kind of forget that, like, it's bare feet or sandals. That's your only option. Hey, tell everybody that you planned in that you owned it, you know?

Okay. There's that, too. You were the only person who can actually walk in heels. And you looked stunning. Right. 50-50 shot of getting engaged. I mean, I was going to do it in heels. You're going to look good, of course. So speaking of engagements, Ben, you, when we were on tour years ago,

you had this grand, elaborate, lovely plan on how you wanted to originally propose to Jess when we were in New York City. Obviously, COVID hindered that plan. So then when you actually did it back, it was at Jess' parents' place, correct? Yeah. when you propose what did you do mentally emotionally whatever to prepare you to propose to her in that way to kind of shift from what you were planning and in that moment on that social day what was the most important thing or message that you really wanted to come through to her yeah well that's a good so you're right uh i had a plan in new york city and we had a bunch of professional dancers on tour with us and so they were getting all of their professional dance friends and to do a massive, what do you call it when everybody joins in, like, randomly and dances? Flash mob, right? Flash mob, yeah. They're going to do a random flash mob to her grandfather's

favorite song. I had just recently, it was one of her closest family members who had just recently passed away right before I was proposing, and it was going to be beautiful. We're going to do it in Central Park. Her parents were going to be out there. My parents were going to be out there. We had the Plaza Hotel Lobby, like, dedicated to where we're going to celebrate. It was also good. I think some of the choreography was, like, already done. set, ready to go. Yeah. And then COVID hit a week before that.

And so her mom and I talked to each other and we said, well, I'm going to propose. That's not going to stop. So how can we make this special? So sunflowers are her favorite flower. We set up flowers in their backyard along a pond. And so to get to your final question, what was important to me? And I thought through this. So on the flight home and on the drive, I was like, what is important about this moment?

because you say a lot and I was more nervous for that than I ever was from my wedding just a weird your best friend, the love of your life and you're like looking at them asking them a very direct question in a very formal way and it's like

this feels odd, it feels different I just simply wanted to tell her and commit to her one that I was grateful that like she came into my life and two, I don't know why like this make me tear up. This is weird. I just wanted to

tell well probably because last night we had like a good old wedding conversation where we're like hey ben you need to communicate with me better you need to tell me what's going on your life and i'm like i don't know how um and it was like a hard you know just those things happen in relationships um i just want to tell her i was going to like be there like forever like i wanted to make sure she knew that i was happy and excited to be there with her in life forever that i want to be that man to her. I want to be that partner to her that she didn't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah. So that was, that was it. Like, just that I, she didn't have to worry about anything. And sometimes it's those most simple sentiments that we all need to hear, right? Like, yes, you guys

have probably talked about getting engaged at some point and I'm sure it wasn't a complete shock to her, but it's still nice to hear just the simplicity of I am here. I'm committed to you. you know like that's not going to waver that that's so special so now that you both are happily married um we are not what is what is one bit of advice that you could give to freshly married couples that are now kind of going through this next chapter of life together um and i also want to know the most interesting thing that you've learned from your partners since you've been married. Oh my goodness. And your faith. I want to know the favorite thing as well. Like what what has just been the beautiful thing that you, you know, having a healthy marriage? The biggest

joy to realize. Yeah. Yeah. I, um, I would say to the, to answer the first question. Um, one of the, the biggest joys to being married, um, has been just like looking at Jessica and knowing she's my, she's my teammate that we have this together, that everything I do in life is with her. The hardest thing for me personally to switch over from is I was relatively single or living alone for, I mean, I was 32 years old when I got married. So for about eight years, you developed some really selfish habits. And I've had to eliminate some of those selfish habits. Like, I have to communicate better with my wife. I can't just internalize everything and never explained to her that, hey, I had a hard day at work,

or, hey, this relationship, my friendship in my life is really frustrating me. Like, I can't just sit in that anymore. I have to talk to her about that, and that's hard for me. I'm not great at it, and I don't know how to do it, and when it's appropriate, when it's not. The most beautiful thing about Jessica, this is easy, because it's the first thing that comes in mind is, if you've met Jessica, Clark Higgins,

I am a skeptic at times, I am cynical, um i assume things often uh jessica believes the best in people right away she encourages me to see that she loves people well she likes people well i don't know if i've ever heard her say like anything uh about anybody like she just enjoys each piece of somebody individually and she she knows how to she's learned or loves how to do that and that's just it's good for me it makes me a better man but it's also really fun to live with somebody like that because because their love for people is so broad. I think it comes from her faith and her love and God,

and I think her belief that people matter. But I also just think it's because she's just special. So that's my favorite thing. It's just living with somebody that loves people really well. Well, what's awesome about Jared and my relationship is I think that we went through so much the harder stuff early on. And now it's really easy. You know, people go like, marriage is hard.

It's like, well, I have to say we've been blessed with us far the three years we've been married, that it hasn't been hard. And I'm sure that those years are going to come. I mean, it's just natural. But it's, we work as a team so well. Even if it was like, even before having kids, it's just like a balance of like, I don't, there's like, always, we were able to always find like a balance,

even if it's like running the household. And now with him, it's being a parent is not easy at all. But Jared and I have been really great in parenting together. It's just like we really share the responsibilities. And I'm so lucky to have a man who, like, believes in sharing all responsibilities when it comes to that stuff. And he loves it. And that's one of, like, the sweetest things that I love about him is how much he loves taking care of people. Whether that's me, he's like a big acts of service guy.

like you know that he like takes pride and like surprising me with like clean bottles next to the the baby food maker and like even before we had dawson he'd get annoyed and like my mom would take lois out on walks so like feed feed lowest during covid we were like out of my parents for a long time he's like that's my dog i want to take care of my dog i love taking care of her and then that's kind of that same way it is with dawson now And it's just really cute. And I just appreciate that he has, like, he just loves to provide and take care of his family. And I know that he gets up from his dad. And that's just one of the many things that I love so much about him. But it really, like, you can, it plays a role in, like, our day to day. Oh, my gosh.

Well, you both have such incredible supportive partners. I'm lucky to say that because I've met them both, but I don't even know the tip of the iceberg of how incredible they both are. But, and I also love how you're saying this. And Dawson's just looking up at you, like, with his big, beautiful eyes. And I was looking at you, Becca, because I'm like, I know that look. Are you looking at him because you, like, can't wait to have this with Thomas? I'm getting ready.

I'm getting ready. She's over here, like, glowing. This is not about me. This is about you, too. And we always play games with any of our guests that we have on. So this is super fun. It's basically rapid fire. we thought we would test your bachelor nation knowledge since we've all been in this world for quite a bit

and this game is called who said it so we're going to give you and we'll go every other so i'll read a sentence and ben you can answer who you think it is and vice versa but basically we're going to give you an iconic quote from either the bachelor bachelor bachelor or from somebody in paradise and you try to have to you have to try to guess who said it so let's go ben first quote somebody said i've never been this turned on in a high school before? Ben Higgins. That's what I thought. Yeah, I remember I had a date in a high school.

These, I would suck at this game because I wouldn't know any of these. But that was actually Jojo Fletcher back in the day. Now, Ashley, this person said, my motto is under promise and overdeliver. Is that Ben? Nope, that one is from Dean. That was on bathroom paradise. That's so obvious. That's so obvious.

Okay. Okay, I'll take the next one real quick. Oh, you got it. Okay, cool. If you want to be with a woman, you have to become a real man. Nick Vile. No, it's actually Hannah Ann. Oh, wow.

Hannah Ann. With the real. That was a good one. I remember how amazing she was during that breakup scene and all the right things were coming out of her mouth. Yeah. I was like, yes, girl, you're saying everything I wanted to say back in the day. Okay, Ashley, who said this one? My biggest fear is the idea that you could not be loved back or maybe possible, possibly unlovable. Oh, well, we all know that this is Ben. That's the most obvious Ben. I remember.

Jeez. Okay. Got it. I do appreciate you wanting to look out for me, but at the same time, I can speak for myself. Maddie Pruitt. No. That was our girl. Michelle. Hey. That's solid. I was like, I should have looked into Michelle's eyes when she said it because I know she was

sitting there being like, mm-hmm. Michelle, who did you say that too? Honestly, I feel like I said that several times to people. To every man on the ceiling. I was to speak for myself. Yeah, I don't even remember which situation got aired, but I did say that. Okay. I thought I knew what kind of man you were.

What you just made me go through, I would never want my children having a father like you. Claire Crawley. Yeah, girl. Wow. These are, these are. Okay, here's this one. I love sports, but I don't play games. Come on. Michelle Young. Yeah. No. No, no. Really? Sports goes to me. Rachel, Lindsay. Oh, dang. Let's go, Rachel. I'm terrible at this game.

That's okay. Okay. I've been a fool and I'm so sorry and I want to make it up to you for the rest of my life. That's my husband. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just waiting for let's do the damn thing to come up. And I was like, I know that one.

I know it. We got to make these easier sometime. Damn. You too. It has been so much fun to having you both on. That was way too short. I just love catching up with you. I love just watching both of your lives unfold.

And they truly all worked out. We've all been through weird shit in this franchise. through all the ups and downs, but you have both found incredible partners. It seems like you were just loving life. And so we are so happy that you join us on Happy Hour. Thank you so much, guys. This is really fun. And thank you, Dawson, for joining us too, buddy.

Yeah, Dawson, you've been pretty good. Special guest. Pretty good. So precious. He'll be hosting in no time. Oh, I know. What a fun top of the episode. I'm so glad that Ben and Ashley were able to join us on Happy Hour.

We're such a fun crossover and truly one that, you know, like Bennett said, like something we didn't expect to happen between two podcasts. But it's great to see them. I think for us, too, Michelle, like we're very fresh working on Happy Hour together. And they've been doing this for five years. So it's fun to see how they operate together. I mean, they know each other so well. And who knows, girl, maybe we can get there one day together too. Oh, we'll get there. We'll get there. No, they're just so uplifting. And it's like that was just such a good, like, feel good episode. Yeah, yeah, definitely. It has been, it has been a minute. Hello, happy hour listeners. I really have missed being on here with you, Becca. And I do appreciate you taking over as there's been a lot going on, and I really did need to step away for a minute to just kind of focus on myself. So thank you, but I am back and I'm super excited to be back.

Well, I'm excited to hear this voice again. I, for one, have missed it. And I know our listeners have missed hearing you, too. It's, and my heart goes out to you because I know what it's like to go through not only a breakup, but a very public one at that. And so we kept saying week after week, like, take the time, the space that you need. We hope that you felt supportive, supported and loved from afar. And I, you did, I think what is probably the best thing anyone could do in your position is you said,

I need a reset, I need a change of scenery. And so you took off for a week and went on what looks like a beautiful vacation in Iceland. So let's start on a high note and talk about that fun little girl's trip that you had. Yeah. Well, you know, I really love traveling. It's something that I've always loved to do and I want to do more of. And it's been a really busy, you know, past few years with everything. But I'm also a very spontaneous person.

and my friends have like come to learn that and so as this was unfolding like this had been just a lot of emotions for a decent amount of time you know had two friends brook and tia who really were with me nearly every day with my family just kind of trying to work through all this and i just i want to get out i want to get out i want to disconnect um and so it was like a Thursday night when we bought tickets to Iceland and then we left on like Monday morning or like Monday midday. So it was a super quick turnaround. But I it was amazing. It was probably like the best thing that I could have done to just completely get some fresh air and you know out in nature and like that that amazing reset and feeling like I'm honestly on a whole different planet because if

Have you ever been to Iceland? No, but I want to. It looks stunning. Absolutely stunning. I would be a personal tour guide. Oh, hell yeah. But, um... No, I love Thomas, but I don't want him.

I want us. I want girls' time. I got you. No, it won. It's only like five and a half hours. It's like a flight from Minneapolis. So it's not really that far. But, um, I sat down one day and like spent maybe like four or five hours just planning

the whole trip. Because like when I go on vacation, and my, I have like two modes. It's like vacation where I'm bopping around doing all bunch of activities or like I'm in a resort, all inclusive on the beach, pool every day, right? Full on tourists or full on relaxation? 100%. There's no in between.

100%. So, of course, like I hopped on Google. I did my research. And so we ended up flying in. We rented a car. We like drove three hours out and we just started working our way back in. And so we did ATVing like on. black sand beaches we got to see like these beautiful like waterfalls um it was incredible we got to go to

the blue lagoon we got to see these beautiful sunsets and just like every corner that you turned there was some different type of scenery it was just it was truly amazing um you know when you're like sitting on your couch and then your tv kind of goes into sleep mode and you see all those like beautiful places like postcard places oh yeah crossing your TV. Yep. So this is where I got the idea of Iceland because I really loved like the purple flowers that just like cover the fields. And they're called, I think Lou Pines is the correct pronunciation. It's like the flower, right? And so I'm like, I want to go see the purple flowers. So like literally that that's like what I've been saying to my friends. I love that you said that.

I want to see the purple flowers. I want to see the purple flowers. I was going to ask you what your info was to pick Iceland. Have you ever read the Lupine lady? No. Oh, you should. What is it about? It's about this lady who plants lupines everywhere. It was like one of my favorite children's books growing up. Oh, my gosh. You are the lupine lady. I can't take credit for that beauty of planning all those things.

But yeah, I'm like, I want to go see the purple flowers. So of course, like my friends are like, okay, we're buying last minute tickets to go see flowers, right? I love that. Obviously, I knew that. There's going to be other scenery there and stuff. But apparently, so like these lupines grow and there's, there's. only blooming for like two to three weeks and we got there and hit it in its prime so they were everywhere so I was just I was so happy and it was just so amazing to be able to go on these

hikes and hot springs and just be able to like set my phone down and really just live and travel and reflect and feel the emotions that I was going to feel and you know it was really nice to have my friends there to work through those tough emotions at times and to also like embrace the special moments and the uplifting moments during a really difficult time as well and so it was exactly what I needed and I came back exhausted because you know I don't think we slept too much at all and there was like only like three hours of not even darkness but like we're the sunset for maybe three hours because it's like the longest time of the year so we'd be like hiking up a mountain um it'd be at 2 a.m and we didn't even realize it was 2 a.m and then we'd get back down I'm like I'm

kind of tired you tired what time it is time is it and it's like 2 a.m and it's like crap I mean like when the sun is like you're not even yeah the sun's just it's just always light out but um I would highly highly highly recommend it because it was just such a cool experience and being able to travel and pull over and take pictures and luckily one of my friends Tia she's a really photographer so she had her camera and oh I saw some of your pictures girl you looked she had a field day like she's like this is my dream to like be in this environment and I don't know I feel like if you plot anybody out in a field of blue pine purple flowers with like the dark cloudy sky in a mountain and a waterfall behind them like I'm sorry like everyone's gonna look good

you're gonna get good content regardless looking us look like good yeah but it was and her photography these goals but but it was it was it was a pretty cool experience and it just could not have gone better and obviously there were definitely bumps in the road as we went along but it was just it was a trip where I'm going to definitely remember that yeah I think there's something so beautiful that like in your hardest moments you can still make the most and find beauty like there's something to be said for I mean and I've said this about like when people have passed in my life like when I'm grieving a death, which is kind of the same as a relationship, like you're grieving the death of a future and this relationship that you thought you would always have to just have a change of pace and go somewhere for how little or as long as you want, where it's just focused solely on you and what you need to get on and heal from this and to have something that like doesn't remind you of the past and doesn't remind you of like kind of what you were going through back home. And so I'm really glad, I mean, thank goodness for your two friends, too,

that you guys could just pack up and say, hell, yeah, we're going to do this. Like, I think it sounds like- Working from home. Yeah, right. But I think for me, it was definitely more of just when the breakup happened and coming out with a statement, there's just, there's so many different, like, anxieties, right? Like, I'm, yes, the public is going to be part of it. Yes, people are going to know about it and all these different things.

like holy crap i my heart was like i just lost my fiance like i thought i was going to have this life with this person um and then you know kind of had to just truly embrace and and realize like i i can only control what i can control and for me i didn't want to come back to a bunch of anxiety of like i ran away from things and so i kept telling my friends is like i really want to go somewhere but like emotionally I need to get to a point where I have dealt with this head on doesn't mean that I'm perfectly fine right but like I've dealt with this to the point where I know that I'm not running away from it because I hate you know when you are I don't know if you've ever felt like this back up but like when something happens or you go through a breakup or you're going

through like a really anxious time and you're out grocery shopping or you're out hanging with friends or whatever but like you are aware that you are out doing it. that just to distract you from what's going on right have you ever felt that way before so often i dislike that feeling that feeling is so uncomfortable to me and so i'm like i'm feeling these emotions intensely it's going to come with waves i'm going to make sure that i'm acknowledging like one how i'm speaking to myself how those thoughts are coming into my mind and then what i need to say or what i need to do to let them pass and to let them go and really like truly realize that these things are and like these thoughts, these feelings, these really strong emotions, this pain, it's okay,

but it's going to come and go in waves. And I just think, honestly, what has been so amazing is that I've, one, really been vulnerable with my family and friends, probably more vulnerable than I've ever been about not taking that on myself and really vocally acknowledging when those waves are coming. And then we deal with them, like my friends and I, we deal with them. and my family and then acknowledging them once they pass and my friend's also letting those things pass and so it's a perfect perfect explanation out like life's a roller coaster and definitely have people by my side who are sitting front seat with me the whole entire way yeah you have such a great support system and i've talked to you know some of your girlfriends through this and

and you and i have had some conversations too and i know that this is kind of the first time that you've sat down and you've been more open about your experience in this past month and we'll have a conversation and I want you to only share where you feel comfortable with sharing and we've all seen like the statements out there right like this is the first time where you finally have your side of things your voice and I hope that you want to use that if you feel comfortable getting into just you in general and how you've kind of changed throughout this past month Like, we've talked a little bit about what you are feeling, the ups and the downs in this roller coaster, and, you know, everyone handles grief and breakup in a different way.

But besides, like, feeling just, I'm sure, what is probably sadness at times and heartbreak at times, like, what else have you been feeling? Like, what are prominent that you feel okay with sharing with our listeners? Yeah. This has been incredibly tricky. just because, you know, kind of when I spoke with, but in Ashley, about they're like, well, did you see this coming? Is, you know, anything like that?

And it's like this, this is nothing that I necessarily planned for in my summer to be working through. Definitely came at a difficult time with trying to get through the end of the school year. And, you know, setting that down and also dealing with those. emotions of having to step away from something that I am passionate about because it's a healthy thing to do right now. And I think the thing that has been the most difficult part is just acknowledging that everybody deals with breakups differently. But having my friends and family hurt along with me with how this all kind of has been handled.

And it's not easy. And, you know, I know that Nate and I have talked a lot about, you know, we both don't believe in Burning Bridges. I do not believe in that as well. I have definitely had to take some space from social media, from responding to text messages, from responding to just DMs. just to disconnect, to protect my energy, to protect my peace, and really make sure that I'm taking care of myself because this has been hard. This has been hard. This has been hurtful in many ways. And I want to make sure that I'm taking the correct steps to heal and to move forward and put that energy into focusing on myself and move forward and redirect and by stepping away

after the breakup socially social media and everything like that's how I'm going to do that you know I can't pop on social media and smile and pretend like I'm okay um and I also will tell you when I'm not but definitely needing that time and appreciating that respect to have that time to take care of myself. And you are such a strong self-aware woman. That's very apparent with I'm sure anyone who comes in contact with you, who listens to you speak. And I would hope that through all of this, like you, you have always cared so much about others. And you have always poured your heart and soul and kindness into others. And just for me as a bystander and a friend to not fully see that always reciprocated, I think is difficult. Just never forget, you have so much

support in me, everyone behind you writing this podcast, so much support in your friends and family. We all love you. And it's been hard enough that now I want to kind of take this and leave you on a high note and build you up because you are so freaking incredible and you truly deserve the world and all of the happiness in yourself and in a future partner one day. So right now, and I know it's going to be very hard to probably answer this and even be able to, like, comprehend, like, what's next for you? But really, like, right now, what do you think is next for you? If you could share anything as a learning lesson from this entire experience, what would that be? Oh, it's so, such, like, a unique position to be in because I feel like my entire life, like,

I knew what I was, and I'll explain that in a second, but I knew what I was or what I was going for, right? Like I was training because I wanted to play Division I basketball in college, right? And so, you know, you get to that mile marker. And then as I was going through college, I wanted to be a teacher, wanted to work in education. And so then I did that. And then me still having that passion for education, but also being burnt out and realizing that, This is going to be a very difficult task to step outside of the classroom, not necessarily outside of education, but outside the classroom.

And, you know, not really know exactly where I'm going, but also having so many different ideas and passions of where I could potentially go. And then, like, the other day, the other day my mom has asked me, like, now what? and I'm like shit mom I have no life plans like shit what do I do like mom don't ask me that right now jokingly right but um but I even though like that anxiety will pass every once in a while that like that whole like what is that saying life is your oyster and there's time the world is your oyster what is it the world is your oyster the world is your oyster there we go so it's like there's times where I'm like the world is your oyster like oh my god and then I'm like yeah the world is my

waste or yeah you know what i mean like it kind of goes back and forth but um for me it's just really putting steps in a direction to take care of myself to focus on myself because i've never really truly done that before um find my inner peace find my happiness and find what's next like with what i'm passionate about and the great thing is that like i'm passionate about so many different things from, you know, fitness to giving back, to working with kids, to inspiring the youth, all these different things. There's so many things that I can do with those. I just need to figure out what. And also it could be all of them. And so it's terrifying. It's terrifying. Yeah, it's terrifying at times. But this is truly a situation where I'm now betting on myself. And I do. I do believe in myself.

and I have people who are very close to me who also believe in me. And that's truly all that I need. You know, if I believe it, I'm good. And Michelle Young will be back. Yes. If she believes it, she'll be good. I have, and I have no doubt, you out of anyone who would say those words, I'm like, yes, she's, she, like, I worry about you just as a friend because I never want anyone to, like,

go through this. But you out of anyone will find. the silver lining and be better than when you started right and you kept saying on your season you want to change the world and is that still the case yeah and yeah and like that is something that i've thought about that it it doesn't matter if i'm who's in the picture who's not in the picture those things of like those passions of what i believe i'm here to do are not changing and so that's kind of where my energy and focus goes right now. And that's okay. And I think that's a really good thing. It is a great thing. Michelle, I

absolutely love you. I know that this entire conversation was not easy. It's hard, especially coming back to taking a few weeks off. But I'm so glad that you did. And I hope that this can still be a fun weekly thing where you can just kind of get out of your life and what you're going through and just still have fun with it because we actually we absolutely love having you here so thank you for coming back michel we missed you i love you and i'm i'm so happy to have you beca and i'm also really excited to be able to like put so much energy just into the podcast because you know teaching and and podcasting and traveling and all these different things it's been it's been a lot and so not saying that my life will slow down anything because i usually figure out how to fill my

time. But I'm so happy to have this. Every week, I'm so happy that we can jump on and have the listeners, you know, keeping up to date with where we are at and then also turning that focus to Gabby and Rachel as we watch this new season coming up next week. I know. It's wild. And I mean, you have been through this world, you know, and there's no better people I think that Gabby and Rachel could look up to than you for this. It's going to be an interesting season, but I'm glad that you are here with me doing this. It's going to be one

for the books. So don't forget, as Michelle just said, their season starts next freaking week. How wild is that? It's coming up. We got seven more days before it begins. So we got to get our asses in gear, Michelle. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm passing that God dang baton. Yes. We can have it. You don't need that load anymore. Michelle, so glad to have you back. Thank you for joining us again. And I'm never letting you leave me ever again.

I will never leave you. Sorry. And also a huge thank you to Ben and Ashley. It was such a fun crossover episode. Don't forget to, well, first listen to Happy Hour, but then you can also listen to the Almost Famous podcast. And just like ours, you can catch the podcast on Apple Podcast, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen.

And you can listen to them ad free, by subscribing to Wonderry Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wendery app. Thank you, Bachelor. Happy Hour listeners. And we will see you next week. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denials easier complex problem solving takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD. Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. know what show they've come to see. It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life.

This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.