Bachelor Happy Hour - Bachelorette Clare Crawley: Part 2

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

In part two of Rachel and Becca’s interview with Bachelorette Clare Crawley, Clare discusses her ideal happy ending and gives advice to other women looking for love. Plus, Clare gets emotional ...when she reveals what advice she would give to her 20-year-old self today. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Complex problem solving. Takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Starting point is 00:01:39 Welcome back, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. If you tuned in last week, you now know we had our next Bachelorette, Claire Crowley, on the podcast, and she spoke so much truth, you guys. We obviously had so much to talk to her about. So here is part two of that conversation right now. I feel like Becca, this is the perfect time for us to give. you advice, Claire, because I don't know. I know that now you know some more details about your season, but I don't know if we're usually Bacheloretts come on the season, you know, and give
Starting point is 00:02:11 advice. I don't know if that's going to be able to happen. So I think now is a good time where we give you some advice. I would love. You're kidding me. I've been waiting for this moment. I would love it. Well, Claire, this wasn't planned in the podcast, but right before you hopped on. I did a little digging in a bunch of boxes in my apartment, and I found the Bachelorette Bible that Rachel, Caitlin, and Jojo made for me. I met them night one before I met my guys, and they gave me the Bachelorette Bible. They have some great things written in here, so we'll go through them. But I also, I think we need to add our own and, like, write some more stuff in, and then I'll send it to you. But this was so good to carry on and pass down.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah. I don't know why we didn't give it to Hannah. I blame you because you had it and you didn't give it to Hannah. I blame it. Hey, okay, I'm going to blame it on my mom then because it was in her basement for the past two years and she just sent this to me. Claire's like, I'll take it. That's fine. You could just give it to me. I mean, truth be told, it was an idea that started with your season, Becca. We didn't have it before. So it was an idea with you. We can make Hannah one. So she has one too. And so she feels included. But we should give it, you know, to pass. it on down to Claire. I don't remember what I wrote, and I hope it's not the same information that the advice that I'm about to give you off the top of my head now, Claire. But the thing that stands out to me the most is I thought, obviously had never been the Bachelorette, but I just thought I had this down. Like I was like, I know who I am. I got this. You know, I know what I want. I know the type of man I want. I know what I'm looking for. You know, I'll meet these guys, but whatever. And I remember the first night, which is Claire, I was, and I said the same thing to you, Becca, I was like, this night is so, it's so exciting. Claire, you have no, I could cry talking about the first night because I know that joy, the joy you're going to feel getting ready and knowing that however many men come, they are there for you. Right reasons, wrong reasons, forget it. It's your season. You're in charge.
Starting point is 00:04:21 They came to be a part of your journey. It is powerful. Every emotion, it's all of it. But that first night, I remember they come up in the limo. You're standing there. Chris, like, leaves you, and it's just you. And I remember meeting the guys, and I had gone through all of them. And I was like, this is it?
Starting point is 00:04:45 Where are the rest of it? I was so, it was, and honestly, because, not because. they were bad guys because I overall love the group of men that I had. It was just, it happened so fast. And people are doing silly things when they come out of the limo that I wasn't overall impressed. And I remember a
Starting point is 00:05:03 producer pulling me to the side. They were like, you know, do you have some favorites? I couldn't name favorites. I wasn't. I just, it just didn't hit me the way that I thought, all that emotion I had coming in. So I remember a producer said to me, give it time and be open because
Starting point is 00:05:19 there really are some great men. And that was the best advice I could get because after the limo entrances and then I was talking to the men, it was amazing. After that, I was like, I like this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. And so if I could give you advice, it's like you think you know, but you have no idea. So truly be open to everybody that comes through because you will be beautifully surprised at the men that you meet on your season. I hope I am. I feel like that's amazing advice. thank you so much for saying that because it is scary going what if my guy's not there you know like what if there's so many things that goes through your mind you know of like damn or what if i don't
Starting point is 00:06:03 feel it right away or so i appreciate oh but the joy of the first night i just can't put it into words for you clear it's so much fun it's so great it is and as rachel said it goes by so incredibly fast. Like, I, like, because I think I had 28 guys maybe. And as Rachel said, you're like, that's it. Like, the arrivals are already done. And then you go into something else and you're being like pulled every which way. But it's that anticipation that like you have so much to look forward to. I think playing on top of what Rachel said too is like, there's no other time in your life where you will meet this many guys at once, like all vying for you and your attention. And I like at first felt awkward. I was like, I don't deserve this. Like I'm not worthy. Like it was very weird because it's like you want to be humble. You want to stay grounded. But then also too, it's like, damn, like these 28 men are here for me. So let me just say, especially night one, don't like soak that in, revel in that. Like appreciate the fact that as Rachel said, all of these men, well, hopefully they've done their homework. If they haven't, I mean, bye. But all of these men should hopefully know.
Starting point is 00:07:18 by now who Claire Crawley is. They should want to have the opportunity and the privilege to have your time and your conversations and get to know you. And vice versa, too, like, I'm playing off of everything that Rachel said, but I mean, for me, I'm like pretty, like, I feel it. If I like you, I like you. If I don't, I don't. And so I, for me, really had to take a step back and be like, maybe talk to these guys a little bit more. Maybe talk to somebody who you kind of just wrote off because you thought he was like the goofy, funny one. Because you will always be surprised. There's going to be one moment in time where your brain's going to click to somebody else. And you're going to be like, I didn't see that in this man in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:07:56 And I'm really pleasantly surprised. And it's, you know, not to say he might not be the one, but there's something so powerful and special about exhausting each and every relationship till the very end. I mean, and you're going to exhaust a lot of them in a very short amount of time. one other thing too that I've heard this from a lot of the past leads to is make time for yourself you're going to be going like crazy you are going to be constantly having conversations you're going to be constantly in interviews you're going to be bust from place to place and between men to men and infiddings and all of this there's so much craziness and chaos
Starting point is 00:08:37 that you really don't have a lot of time for yourself especially in the beginning weeks so even if it's 15 minutes like pretend you have to go to the bathroom you don't feel good take 15 minutes just hide away keep a journal if you can but you need that alone time to really sift and think on your own and so utilize that whenever you can it's gonna be very important for your samadby i guess you know what's funny is i'm very much i always tell people i'm kind if i like i'm an introvert in the way where i need my own time to recharge so i think that is going to be key and that's advice because I already need that in life as it is right now. And I like my alone time. And I appreciate that's where I recharge. So I definitely will be trying to fit it as much as I can of that.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Yeah. No, you have to. Like plane flights, car rides. I mean, I pretended like I had to go poop like every hour just because I needed a lone time. Okay. That might be TMI, but I needed to just like sit. Whatever it takes. Whatever takes. Hair, makeup, like whenever you're doing that, too. To add on to that, this is something Allie told me, which I loved, was she said that she regretted not enjoying her season, not taking the time to, it's one thing to take time for yourself and you need that, like Becca was saying, everything she said is true, but also taking the time to appreciate the moment of things. Because like Becca said, you'll be pulled in so many different ways and you go to bed late and you get up early and you have to do all these
Starting point is 00:10:09 ITMs and then you're trying to remember names and stories and backgrounds. And then there's some guys you're just not interested in that you get caught up in the present and that you don't appreciate what's actually happening. Like you're the Bachelorette and it's a beautiful experience and you're having this chance to write your love story. And remember that. Remember those moments. Like when you're taking that time to reflect, remember that time to be grateful and to appreciate the present. Because it goes. so fast. It's in the blink of an eye. It's so fast. You have so excited for it. It's literally hasn't, like I said, it hasn't felt real up until these last couple of days where I'm like,
Starting point is 00:10:52 okay, it's really happening and it's happening soon. So I already was in the moment of like, go, go, go, go, go before the quarantine happened. So you're right. You're absolutely right. I need to slow down and live in the moment because when else do we get to experience this and live it? you know you are one of now well one of 15 other women who get to be in this position like that's such a small few i cannot talk right now that's such a small few and just as rich just live in it soak it in appreciate it because it's going to go by fast like i'm two years removed now and i still like look back i i kept a journal and i reread little moments or little details if it's just a word that I kept in my journal and I'm like, oh my gosh, it takes me back to that
Starting point is 00:11:40 moment to kind of be there and remember it and embrace it and love it because you're in for a journey, Claire. One other thing that I think we have to say, which the producers are awesome at always keeping on hand, breath mints are key. Listerine strips will be your best friend. You never know when someone's going to show up to your hotel room at like two in the morning to have a conversation. You never know when some guy's going to steal you away to kiss you behind the fireplace. I mean, you've been on the show. You've done a few seasons so you know. I think I kept like listering in my bra at one point just to be like, I have it on hand. Oh, I swear to God, if a guy shows up at my place at 2 in the morning and I've only got four hours to sleep, you better turn
Starting point is 00:12:21 around and go home because sleep. I need my sleep. Yeah. Well, yeah, you're not going to get much of it, especially those first three weeks. Yeah. How do you function through it? coffee I don't drink alcohol and I need sleep Whoa Well Claire Not even alcohol
Starting point is 00:12:42 Well they don't really let you drink a lot of alcohol as the lead But no coffee Will you do a red bull? Nothing? No I don't You know what I do get is Green tea from Starbucks Or I get red Coca-Cola
Starting point is 00:12:54 Classic Coca-Cola That'll hot me up That's perfect They'll keep you stocked up with Coca-Cola On your off days to try to get an eye with just extra vitamins that will hopefully help nice okay good call good call but but honestly too i don't even remember drinking a lot of coffee the adrenaline the excitement of especially when you're going to see that one guy you're really interested in or a few whatever um that's gonna keep
Starting point is 00:13:20 you going too like you're excited oh i'm putting on this outfit this is super cute oh i love my makeup in my hair today oh i'm in this place this date's going to be really exciting it'll be little things like that, that'll get you going. That will make you excited. Yeah. Yeah. And, oh my God, I'm going to stop with the advice. But another thing that would help me with as far as energy, and you'll get this, right? I remember what it was like. And I know you guys too, did too, when we were on The Bachelor and you're waiting for those 10 minutes at a cocktail party you can spend with the lead. Or you're on a group date and you just want that alone time for 10 to 15 minutes and you remember that feeling. I remember thinking when I was the lead. Whenever I'm
Starting point is 00:14:05 with somebody, I have to be present and give them my full attention because I remember what it was like to be waiting all day just to get 10 minutes with Nick in my case. So that also kept me going because I want I, I never wanted to forget. I never wanted to feel like I was too big. Oh, I'm the lead now. No, I was just like you and I want to honor that you're here for me for whatever a reason. Staying present. That's so key. That's so key.
Starting point is 00:14:31 I hear you on that. I'm definitely going to work on that. Because it can't get overwhelming, right? Like you're just... And it will. Looking for directions. It will so be overwhelming. It will be, yeah, so overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:14:44 But you have a great team that will be on your side, too, who's always there to kind of, especially when at first, like, I'm terrible with names to begin with. And we all saw, I forgot Jason's name at one point. But the team really is there to help you. And another thing that really helps is, of course, Chris Harrison. Lean on him when you can. I mean, he has seen it all. He has had every type of conversation in the book. So lean on him when you can. And also, like, the dream team. I mean, we talked to Carrie and Gina on the podcast. For those of you who didn't tune in, we had the stylist and the makeup artist from the show who really are there to just, like, they became such friends, such confidence. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're. to like make you look gorgeous and flawless, but there's so much more than that. So lean on them too because they kept me sane and kept me grounded, especially in the moments when I needed it when I felt like I didn't want to talk about anything in an interview or in front of the
Starting point is 00:15:45 guys. So they're going to be good to help you too. I already love them so incredibly much. Yeah, I've known them the whole time, but just now in this space, even doing like the fittings and the makeup for all the shoots and stuff already like I just adore them and they you can tell like you said they're there's such an friend role and that dream team of like we got you you know that they're not trying to produce anything that I'm trying to do anything more than to just be there for you and so I think that's amazing if you could have one date on your season or one group date what would it be one group dates uh the one I've always keep trying to convince them of I hope they do this so bad.
Starting point is 00:16:26 But I want, so I do sauna and cold plunge. I don't know if you've heard of it. Oh, gosh. Oh, I've done it. Okay, so I do cold plunges every single day. And it is the thing that I just live for. And I joke as my friend, because he's always like, the guy who I do it with, his studio, he's always like, guys get in here and just jump right out.
Starting point is 00:16:48 And I, the best thing I want from, like, I want them to do this. I want to put them in Speedos. I basically want to see, because you know, you know, if you've done it before, those ice baths are not about the water being cold. It's about sitting in the uncomfortable and how you handle uncomfortableness. So I want to know what guys will sit in there and stay in the uncomfortable or what guys will jump out. I want to see. Because I can stay in it and it's built me a minute. It's taking me a minute to build that up, but I want to see if they will or can't. That's so funny. That's good TV, Claire. They better step it up. That's good TV. clear this is you got to add on an extra layer to that so when they're in the cold water in the uncomfortable you have to have whoever stays in it who chooses to make them share something uncomfortable with you oh i like that oh that's really good something deep down dirty love this that's really good okay so i know this is our podcast and we usually do the questioning but while we're here and we're just in this space of sharing advice and you know like just lifting each other up
Starting point is 00:17:52 Claire, what advice do you, not advice, but is there anything that you want to ask us? Like maybe that's been on your mind. I know we have a sisterhood and we have our own group chat with the Bacheloretts, but maybe there's something that, you know, it's been on your mind that you want to take this chance to ask us. You guys have actually covered a lot of it. This is more than I've talked to any prayer bachelets about kind of doing the season and being honest. And you guys have given amazing advice. So for me, I more so actually just want to thank you.
Starting point is 00:18:22 for doing that and kind of being here for me because I think it's an important thing that like you guys have said before and we know that there's only 15 women or 16 now women that have done this. It's not the people and the ones that share and the ones that reach out and say this helped me or this is a piece of advice. I have appreciated that and I appreciate it that more than anything in the entire world because it's kind of a weird space where not a lot people can understand it or relate to it. So thank you. At least even reaching out and talking to me and messaging me. It's kind of lifted me up and made me feel encouraged. So I just want to say thank you for this stuff. And I'm sure you'll be getting text to me and being like, what about this?
Starting point is 00:19:08 That's what we're here for. That's what this is about. When you were saying, when you were, when you were just talking and thank you for saying that. Like it's our pleasure. Like this is what this is about. I feel bad for people listening because I'm like, we're just having our own love Sorry, you guys, but this is also just like, I don't know, for anybody who needs this type of encouragement and who needs to be lifted up. One thing I was thinking when you were just talking now is you won't, because you won't get a chance to talk to us while you're in your season. It's a different world when it's just you as the lead, no family, no friends, no former bachelorette, just you and the producers and your gut, which is what you have to go by. You know, Becca and I are both with our first impression rose guys. We trusted our gut. But when it got down to the final few, it's a really hard decision. And for various
Starting point is 00:19:56 reasons, it's not even because you don't know what you're going to do. It's just so hard. You've grown close with these people at this point. You've shared things. You've exerted certain emotions with them. And so it's hard to cut it off, to let it go, to break someone's heart and send them home. And so when you get to those moments, I remember, like, I'm asking, what did? JoJo do because Jojo was before me. And I remember Becca being like, what did Rachel do? And I'm sure Hannah asked what Rebecca do. And you'll ask the same thing. And so the best thing I can tell you is because you will be so alone. And it is your decision. And you have to be comfortable with what you're doing. And you can get all the advice in the world. But you have to know what decision you're going to make and live with that. So trust your gut. Don't at the end of the day when it comes down to whatever, because it will come down to the one. And you will. have a ring on your finger and you will be engaged. Is that what it says? Just follow your gut. Just follow your gut. Advice piece number two is just follow your gut. And that is so true. It will not lead you astray. But you know what, Rich, I feel like,
Starting point is 00:21:08 Claire, I'm not worried about you. I mean, you, sure, you're going to go through the ups and the downs and you're going to have really sad moments and days and your heart is going to feel like it's being torn out of your chest. But out of anyone who is probably better in this position, I am not worried about you. I think that you, at the end of the day, will, whatever is meant to happen will happen for you. And you just seem to attract such, you just have this positive energy and I feel like you'll attract that. And at the end of the day, you, if I have faith in anyone, And you will follow your gut. You will listen to your heart.
Starting point is 00:21:45 And you will hopefully find the right man for you. That I can promise. I'll definitely follow my gut. And like we were talking about in the very beginning of this podcast, Rachel, you had said that everything happens for a reason. And one of the blessings I would say that I took from my season, being on Juan Pablo's season and from how I was treated was not discounting, somebody for even just showing up and being there and letting them know the gratitude for them
Starting point is 00:22:18 even doing that and being there and I can only imagine for the people that make it to the end I can't imagine how hard it's going to be and it's going to be crazy hard right but one thing that I really will and I try to practice every day in life as it is but just to those men just knowing that they're there and they've put their life on hold everything their jobs on hold their families on hold they put everything on hold to be there for this and to have a sense of gratitude and let them know even just how much I appreciate them doing this
Starting point is 00:22:49 I think goes a long way even if it's not the person for me or I'm not the person for them knowing that I appreciate them even being there because that was something that I wasn't told and didn't feel like that I had given up my whole life
Starting point is 00:23:04 and my job, I had given up my job to be there and I wasn't getting paid. I didn't get paid leave for being a hairstylist and going on the show. There was a choice I made but it was also, there wasn't even like a thank you or anything of like thank you for opening up your heart thank you for being here or just thank you for being open um thing that i want to even just be
Starting point is 00:23:25 if things don't work out with certain people that that gratitude and let it i hope they know and i hope they feel from my heart as hard as it is but also just my appreciation for them even being there i hope that comes well and that's the beauty of you now being the lead as you have that opportunity. And, you know, maybe leads have failed in the past, like he who must not be named, who season you started on. But you have that ability and that power to show that graciousness and to show that thankfulness. You know, we're lucky because at the top of each cocktail party or the top of each row ceremony, you can pick and choose how you want to address them in and how you want to start each night and each date. And that's something that for me personally, I was really
Starting point is 00:24:11 kind of nervous about it i kept thinking about like what am i going to say am i ever going to find the right words for these guys um and you just have to feel it out but but i think that sentiment will go a long way to them um it just shows your heart and where it isn't it's in the right place with these men and i think that they'll appreciate it i hope so it's one of the perks i think of being older is that our life experiences and things we've been through even though it might not be a good experience have all taught us something and this is one of those lessons for me me is that gratitude. And I hope it does convey properly to them that they see that I'm grateful for them even being there. Yeah. So I want to ask, obviously, especially in this day and age,
Starting point is 00:24:52 life is so unpredictable. Obviously, we don't know who you're going to meet, who's going to step out of the limo. I mean, we know some of the guys, but we don't know who you'll end up with ultimately at the end. So in your perfect world, envisioning a couple months down the road, you're with the man of your dreams. What does that look like? And what's your hopeful happy ending here a happy ending to me obviously would be staying true to myself and i think that's key to say because i think a lot of people have said in the past like how many shows have you been on or how many times you're going to do this and you're oh this is you've already had four tries at this and when i say being true to myself that means loving myself first and if that means there's
Starting point is 00:25:35 no man at the end for me that means there's no man at the end for me but if they're hopefully in my best ideal situation would be the man of my dreams is there and we can walk away and it not be we can honestly just go back into normal life um i've always said and i told i told my twice and them this in the very beginning i'm not here to be famous as weird as this is because it is a tv show um i love my job and i love my life here and i wouldn't change it for the world i want a man that I can bring back into that life that will go on a Friday night to the nursing home with me to visit my mom and that will be after dinner going on the walks with my dog and not care about anything other than finding that happiness that I'm looking for.
Starting point is 00:26:21 That's so important and it's so refreshing to hear. I mean, you never know where this is going to take you and who you're going to end up with and where you may move or where you may stay or how your career path may end. But it's so nice to hear you say, I just want to make. man who's going to fit into my life. And I'm not trying to do this for whatever. Now, Claire, should an opportunity present itself, take it. Take it. But I'm not taking away from what you're saying. I totally know what you mean by that. And I love that you said that. And the people need to hear that. And that is why, like, you guys, I don't, I feel like people have such short-term
Starting point is 00:27:00 memory. Claire, they were asking for you without even calling you by name. Like, Becca and I were doing podcasting in these other seasons before and the audience has been so frustrated with what we've seen and the type of lead that they have been requesting all the things they say that they want you have so i know we're excited to watch your season and they are too i feel like okay i feel like we just completed the first 30 minutes of your season because you know how it's like the bachelorette talk and it's giving advice like i feel like i should be like and that's a rap no but i I do want to ask you, because I feel like we just had our moment, but I want to turn this back to the people who are also listening to us right now. And Claire, you're a role model, even though
Starting point is 00:27:48 your season hasn't started, just listening to the things that you're saying, the life that you live, the experiences that you've gone through, you have a lot to say. I mean, we've written chapters three, four, and five in this podcast of your story. But there will be a lot of women who come to you and it's it's such a beautiful thing claire they will come to you and they're probably already in your dms asking you for advice about life and what is it like to be a single woman in their 30s who has their career who maybe hasn't found the man of the of their life or the one for them what advice do you have for those women because you are you are wearing so many hats as the league yeah i i think for me the best thing i could say for being somebody who is 39 the piece of
Starting point is 00:28:35 advice that I would give that I kind of laugh at people when they're like, I can't believe you're 39 and single, you're desperate or this or that. My best, best piece of advice I could say is I personally would rather be spending 20 years with the man of my dreams being wholly loved for who I am rather than 50, 60 years with the wrong man. And it takes that much extra time or if it takes an extra month or an extra year, no matter what age, let yourself be loved by the right person and find that right person for you and don't settle.
Starting point is 00:29:11 A lot of people have said that you're so picky or just you need to learn. I've been told so many times to settle. I can't even, by my friends and by other people too. And it's, I would rather love myself enough by myself than to be with the wrong person because trust me, I have been with the wrong person. I have been in those relationships and they are exhausting and they are draining and they
Starting point is 00:29:37 deplete and kind of take away from who you are. And I would rather spend a shorter amount of time with the right man who lifts me up and matches me in my energy rather than a longer time with the wrong person. Well said. And this ladies and gentlemen is why Claire deserves to be our next bachelorette. I know. I feel like we should be snapping right now. So good. I question the people who are like, I can't believe you're 39 and single.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And it's like, do you understand the perks that come with being 39 and single? Like, I can sleep as late as I want with no kids bothering me. I can travel wherever I want to go. I mean, there are perks to all different situations. But it's not just, I'm not sitting here on a Friday night going, what can I do with myself? I'm not having pity parties by any. Yeah, yeah, you're living your best life And you will do that with or without a man
Starting point is 00:30:34 And that's the advice that you're given to these ladies Absolutely Man does not define you Mm-hmm, mm-hmm All right, so looking back If you could sit with 20-year-old Claire face-to-face What advice would you give to her? Oh
Starting point is 00:30:51 This is the question that makes me cry every time Hmm How do I get? It's so emotional about it, but I don't even know where I would start with that. But if I could speak to 20-year-old Claire, I would say it's going to be okay. And all the hard work that you're going to put in and that you're going to be going through, it's going to suck. And it's going to challenge you to your core, but it's all for the greater good for yourself and for your life.
Starting point is 00:31:27 And you, you're worth it. you're worth fighting for it and you're worth um fighting for yourself you know fighting for your unhappiness it is worth it and it's going to suck and it's going to be hard um but fight for yourself because at the end of the day there are going to be times when you feel like you're the only one fighting for yourself and nobody fights for you and you're all alone um but as long as you don't give up on yourself it's worth it it's so worth it and i mean i say that and it gets me emotional because I've had so many moments of feeling so alone and just want to give up. But seeing where I'm at now in life and seeing how I feel about everything in life now,
Starting point is 00:32:10 it is so incredibly worth it to just, when nobody else is there for you, be there for yourself. Claire, I don't have anything else to say. I mean, is that the not the, okay, I can't speak. That's like, clearly, I'm offensive on what you just said. You have rendered racial speechless. I'm about to cry. I don't know how often that happens.
Starting point is 00:32:36 True, it's true. I was sitting there a couple, like, last month reflecting on it. And I was just sitting there going, God, if I can even just tell younger Claire, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Be yourself, be authentic. There will be somebody out there that will love you for every piece of your being. regardless of how dirty or ugly or bad or hard it's been.
Starting point is 00:33:00 There is somebody out there along with yourself that would love you for that. I think it's so somebody needed, apparently I needed to hear that because I'm over here getting emotional. I think that is the perfect way to end this podcast because what you said was so passionate. It was so heartfelt. It was so rich and I felt it. I felt like I needed to hear that at 20. I needed to hear that at 30. but you know and I just I it was it was beautiful it was so well put I Becca please
Starting point is 00:33:33 well I don't even want to top that I mean you like out of any season that we've known who the lead's going to be I think this is the one that I am most looking forward to it's so deserving to go to you and to I'm glad that we had you on before you left for filming I think when we had Peter on, he had just wrapped filming. So he was in a different mindset. But to be able to have you on and give our audience the chance to get to know you a little bit more and to get to know your background and your story and where your heart is and what you're hopefully wanting to get from this journey, I think it's just going to make our listeners fall in love with you a little bit more. And I just feel really grateful. And Rachel, I hope I can speak for
Starting point is 00:34:21 both of us, but I just feel grateful that we've had this opportunity to talk with you. And I truly cannot wait to see where this goes for you because I really think it's going to be the best, the best experience of your entire life. And good things are going to come from it. And I cannot wait for you. Thank you so much. I literally can't wait. It's been a long time coming for me. And I'm ready, I'm ready to show the hard parts and the ugly parts. And I don't, I guess in the past I haven't shared with it because like I said I looked at it as a weakness or I don't want people to I still don't want people to feel sorry for me or to go like she's playing the victim here because it's not that I want other people to see that like I'm proud of how far I've
Starting point is 00:35:04 come from what I've gone through and I'm a survivor instead of a victim and I want people to see and to feel that and to gain that mentality for themselves too that you can overcome stuff and it's so no matter how long it takes it's so worth it so I feel like this is all of that um that goal for me that i've been working so hard that i'm still working at um that i can finally be ready for this i think it's your time claire it is your time and we are so excited for you happy to sit back and watch it all unfold yes me too me too we say that now but we shall see yeah i mean claire we're going to talk about you on the podcast but it's all up it's this if you come back with a big old rock on your hand or not. You have 15 other women who have
Starting point is 00:35:56 been where you have been, who are here to support you no matter what happens throughout the entire season. You know you can always call on us once you get your phone back. But this is your time. So soak it in, live it up. Balls to the walls. I mean, I don't even know what other inspirational things to say. But balls to the walls. No, no other inspirational thing. that's right my daddy right both of those somebody said um why don't are you were you for a dancer i was never a dancer i've tried okay a couple times but i'm not a dancer hey producers listen to this dancing date with claire it's already it's already happening clear you got to know that was going to happen say your weaknesses to the producers
Starting point is 00:36:40 that's true well claire we love you we're so happy we had you on today thank you for for talking with us to just opening up a little bit more and to sharing your beautiful soul. And I cannot wait to see where this journey, I hate saying journey, but where this journey is going to take you. Yeah. I'm nothing but love for you guys. And Becca, we need to talk about Dexter. I'm going to message you right after this.
Starting point is 00:37:03 I'm going to see if we can get a Dexter date on the line. Oh, my God. She's going to wrap people up in plastic? I can't. I can't. I think we got to fine-tune it a little bit. Um, that's a, that's a coronavirus appropriate date though. You know what I mean? Just see how bad you can scare the men like thinking that their lives are on the line here. Oh, just nothing. When it comes down to the line, fight or flight. Let's see what you got. Let's see what you. Fight or flight chapter six. And with that. All right, this is been so much fun. Claire, we love you. We will let you get back to it. And we can't wait to watch you do it all.
Starting point is 00:37:46 you guys for everything. And I really love this so much. So thank you so much. Thank you. Bye, girl. Becca, there aren't many times where I can't speak. She rendered you speechless, right? I got it on one hand. I mean, I mean, it was a deep question, but I didn't know that that's, I mean, you can tell somebody who's really been through some things and then taken the time to reflect on where they are now, when they give that kind of answer, they've definitely done the work. Like, she's not just saying, I've done the work. No, no, no. Her last answer means she's done the work. And if you are out there listening and you're one of these men on her season, you're welcome. Because we just gave you a whole guy to understand Claire and the gift
Starting point is 00:38:35 that she is. Yes. Well, and so one thing, and I know I lost my train of thought earlier when we were talking to her at the beginning. But, you know, we're in the staying age where we keep pushing for change. You know, we've talked about it a lot in diversity on the franchise. But one thing, which is why I'm so happy that we're changing it up a little bit and bringing on Claire is because she's done this before. She's been on a few seasons. She is a little bit older. She's dated all types of men, has been in all sorts of relationships. And I'm glad that we're steering away from just like the young, you know, super like just hopeful. Oh yeah, I'm here to find love. Like she is the real deal. As you said, she's put in the work. She has really grown in
Starting point is 00:39:21 herself. And she owns it. And so I cannot wait for her season. She was one when, before she was even announced, when they were throwing out different bachelorette's out there. At first, she didn't even cross my mind. You know, I assumed it would maybe be Tia, somebody from Peter's season. But she I think is well and beyond just like the best choice at this time to really bring us back to the roots of what the show is. And that is to find a solid partnership. And I cannot wait. I told her this too. I'm like, I feel like you're really like okay with putting the guys through the ringer for your heart. And it's going to be such a balanced season full of drama, full of fun, full of love, full of heartfelt conversations, full of depth. And she, she's going to deliver all of that. and more. I have no doubt. Absolutely. And I was thinking the whole time we were doing the interview with her, what would be her tagline? That's what I kept thinking. I thought, what is it going to be? And I feel like it has to, after this whole time we've been talking to her, I'm like, it has to be something with clarity, right? Because that's where she is right now. And if y'all
Starting point is 00:40:28 take it, I'm suing. You just gave me chills. I love that. Yeah. And this is one podcast that I think multiple times listening to her speak, I have gotten full body chills with things that she has said. You know, as women, we have all been through tough breakups. We have all been through hard times. Like, we can all relate in that way. We're all human. And she does a great job of putting that into words where we can all understand. And I hope that viewers can watch her and listen to her and not just look at her as the Bachelorette, but like, as just Claire, this amazing human being who has grown so much since we've seen her six years ago.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Yeah, I'm excited, you're excited. I just, with Claire, what you see is what you get, and I can't wait for it to all unfold. You guys, if you didn't know about Claire before, now you know. And we thank you so much for hanging out with us because we're so excited for Claire's season and we hope that you guys are too.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Can't wait for it to air. But in the meantime, if you need your Bachelor fix, Keep tuning in to Bachelor Greatest Seasons Ever, every Monday night, 8, 7 p.m. Central on ABC. But please, I know that there's a lot going on in the world. I know there's a lot happening. But sometimes you just need a good release. And we hope that that's what we can provide you. You know, when things are going on in the world, we do want to cover them.
Starting point is 00:41:54 We want to talk about things and how they are affecting our lives. And we hope that you've appreciated that. And you've gotten a lot from that when we've presented that on the podcast. But we also want to give you a good release. And so we hope that you're getting that too. And after this episode, my God, you got a word today from Claire. But also don't forget to keep writing us. Tell us what you like on social.
Starting point is 00:42:17 Like us. Like us. Yes, that's important too. But like our post. Comment, DM us, follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at batch happy hour on Facebook and Twitter. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy?
Starting point is 00:42:57 That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever. you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Starting point is 00:43:35 your podcasts. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

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